Hearts Hereafter

“You’re late.”

Krissy sat down on the bench Kalli had just dumped her bag on. “You wanna tell me where you’ve been the last 24 hours?”

Her younger sister shrugged as nonchalantly as she could, her voice soft, “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.”

For the first time since she had entered the locker room, Kalli McMahon actually looked at her sister, flashing her a gentle grin. But she said nothing more, pulling off her jeans and singlet to replace them with her choice of wrestling gear for the night. A figure hugging and much more comfy white singlet top and a pair of snug leather pants. She asked quietly, “Is this too Sara for my match tonight?”

Krissy took her sister in, pointing to her make up, “No. You’re leaning a little more to the Goth than Sara does.”

Kalli grinned, “That wasn’t entirely intentional.” She sat down beside her sister to pull her boots on; “I did my make up in the car. I probably shoulda closed the top first.”

“You drove the Mustang here?”

Kalli nodded, lacing up her boots, “Uh huh.”

“And how do you propose you get it back home when we head out tomorrow?”

“I don’t.” Kalli stood, bouncing around on the spot a little, warming up. She went on, “I’m driving.”

Narrowing her eyes a little, Krissy asked, “You’re driving?”

“Uh huh.” She kicked a foot up against a locker, leaning forward to stretch. “I drove from Connecticut, Kris; I don’t see how the drive to Detroit is going to kill me.”

Her sister sighed sadly, silence falling between them as Kalli continued to stretch and warm up.

Krissy had expected this from her.

This half-hearted indifference to hide her pain.

On Thursday night before she had left the arena where Smackdown! was being filmed live for the second week running, Kalli McMahon had been an emotional train wreck. She could barely form a coherent sentence after Jeff had told her it was over. And though her family clamoured around to comfort her with soothing words and over used philosophies about love and the way it tried us, she had taken no comfort in it.

Before the night was over, Kalli had boarded a plane back to Connecticut to lock herself away from the world.

And even though she had known this would be the Kalli that returned, Krissy still couldn’t quite believe her sister could be this calm, this collected, when she knew that her whole world had just crumbled around her.

“Kalli?” Her sister only half looked up from where she lay on the floor, stretching near lazily. She gave her a hard-esque stare until she was sure her attention was all on her. She whispered, “Are you okay?”

Nestling her hands against the floor behind her head, Kalli bent her knees, pushing herself up and flipping to her feet. “Uh huh.” She stretched her arms above her head, not giving her sister a chance to continue. “Hey, is Daddy in tonight?”

A little flabbergasted, Krissy nodded, “Yeah...” She broke off, “Kalli?”

“Thanks, Kris.” She leant over and placed a soft kiss on her sister’s forehead, heading for the locker room door.

But the girl kept on going.

Krissy sat there a moment and then climbed to her feet, hurrying out the door after her sister. She caught her as she strut casually down the hall, “Hey.” Her voice was gentle, “Are you okay? Kalli? I mean, really okay? You were... You were a mess on Thursday night... You go home for a couple of days and come and now you’re all... You’re fine?”

Hints of dishonesty in her eyes she nodded, “Kris, I’m okay. I am.” She shrugged, “Granted I don’t exactly feel like doing back flips, but...” She smiled, “I’m a McMahon.” When Krissy went to speak Kalli cut her off, “Kris. Really. Okay?”

Her older sister looked at her a long time and then she mumbled begrudgingly, “Fine.” Her sister turned to go but she locked a hand on her arm and whirled her back to face her, “But don’t think you’re getting out of this so easy, Kalli. Tomorrow, you’re having a passenger for your drive to Detroit.”

Groaning, Kalli mumbled, “Krissy...”

“No.” She gave her sister’s arm a little squeeze, “You are.”

All grumbles and protests whispered under her breath, Kalli nodded, “Fine, Krissy. You can come with me in the car.”

She turned to go, but Krissy called out to her, “Kalli?” Her voice was soft, “Are you *sure* you’re okay?”

Kalli flashed another grin at her sister, her voice relatively sincere despite the tiniest hints of pain in her eyes. “I got dumped, Kris. It’s not the end of the world.”

But as she walked away, something told Krissy McMahon that for Kalli it was. It really was.

When Kalli rounded the corner of the white washed hall and ran smack bang into her older brother and sister preparing to shoot a backstage segment, she nearly cursed aloud. She stepped back hurriedly, "Hey... Sorry..." then moved to step around them.

"Kalli!" Stephanie sprang on her in a warm hug, catching the girl completely off guard.

"Uh..." Kalli cast a look over her sister’s shoulder at Shane, who grinned at the exchange. Stephanie hadn't willingly hugged Kalli in months, and it was obvious he was pleased that the two had seemingly set their differences aside in her hour of need.

When the hug did not dissipate as quickly as Kalli had thought it would, she smiled, "Stephy, honey, I need to come up for air."

Shane chuckled at this, waiting for Stephanie to pull away a little, her hands still taking hold of her sisters, then reached out to ruffle her hair gently. "How you holding up, Kiddo?"

Kalli managed a smile, "Good. I'm good." Her brother and sister exchanged a dubious and she sighed, "Guys... You could do the polite thing and wait until my back is turned to do that."

Stephanie shrugged, "It's just we worry..." She offered gently, "I know we haven't always got along, Kalli, but your still my sister, and..." She sighed, "I can't bear the thought that you might be in pain..."

"I'm not, Steph." Kalli squeezed her sister’s hands. Total disbelief touched Shane's face at this and she shrugged, "Okay. But I'm dealing."

He went to speak when the crew member nearest them interrupted, "Shane, Stephanie, We're on in 10, 9, 8..."

Grateful for the chance at escape, Kalli stepped out of the camera's view, "Bye, Guys..." and then dashed down the hall to what she hoped was her freedom.

Naturally it lasted all of two seconds before she ran into Melly. "Hey Kalli! How..."

She cut her sister off before she could ask her how she was, "Hey Mel." She bent over, touching a hand to her sister’s pregnant belly. "Her Darlin'," she cooed into her stomach. "How's my little girl today?"

"Kicking like mad." Melly gave her a soft little smile, "I think she's just as furious as I am."

Kalli laughed, "God, that's *all* we need! Another Melly!" She pressed her lips gently to Melly's stomach and straightened to flash her sister a grin.

Melly groaned, slightly, looking around a little embarrassed, "I wish you wouldn't go around kissing my stomach all the time."

"I can't help it." Kalli stroked her stomach adoringly, "That's my niece hiding out in that tummy of yours."

The two exchanged a warm smile for a moment, and then Melly told her quietly, "I saw Jeff."

Kalli's smile vanished.

"I told him exactly what I thought of him." She nearly growled, "Nobody hurts my sister. Not even a Hardy."

Her voice low, more emotion in it than she had shown since her arrival at the arena, Kalli sighed, "Melly, please... Don't give him a hard time, okay?"

"Kalli, he broke you heart! He..."

She held up a hand, "Just don't. Please."

Surprised by the plea in her sister’s voice, Melly responded on instinct begrudgingly, "If that's what you want..."

"Its what I want." She pat her sisters stomach again and then said, "I'll see you, Mel." She managed another smile and then continued on down the hallway. She sighed softly to herself. She had only been at the arena around twenty minutes, and already it was taking its toll.

Putting on a brave face was just fine and dandy...

So long as you didn't have to maintain and defend it with every second that passed.

Her family was relentless.

They would fuss over her until she either moved on or Jeff Hardy came to his senses. And she knew no matter which way it went, she was in for a damn long wait.

It wasn't that she didn't understand Jeff's decision.

On the long drive from Connecticut to the Grand Rapids, she had considered this every way possible. She *knew* he loved her. She did. And that was exactly why she would not stand back and let her family brow beat Jeff into guilt over his decision.

Because ultimately she had to wonder if maybe she and Jeff loved each other too much.

Kalli would stand back and watch him in that ring, she would let his high flying antics torture her in ways *nothing* else could ever. She bit back tears as he leapt from ladders and took insane bumps, she fought on past her pounding heart and all consuming dread and more than anything, she let the pain take her and torment her, and when it was all over, she willingly would do it again.

She did it because she loved him more than life itself.

Jeff showered her with love and affection like he had no one else. He adored her and respected her. When they were together, he did things she knew would take her breath away every day for the rest of her life. He wanted her, he needed her, every second of every day, and she had never felt more loved than when she was with him. But that pain, that torment in her eyes after she had watched him in that ring hurt him the way his dare devil lifestyle hurt her.

He left her because he loved her more than life itself.

She prayed there was some compromise. Some way to make him see that there had to be a way...

Finally reaching the door to her Father's office, she knocked softly, waiting for the rasp of his voice as he called out, "Come in."

There had to be a way...

She stepped into the office.

"Hey, Honey." Vince climbed out of his swish leather chair and moved over to his daughter, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. This was the first he had seen of her since she had resigned from the WWF Creative Team the week before, and though he was still deeply hurt, and even a little angry, by her less than level-headed confrontation with him, he knew now was not the time to fight her on it.

She smiled up at him gently, grateful for the feel of her Father's arms around her. "Hey, Daddy."

"How are you?" He cooed into her hair as he kept a good hold of her, almost certain she would break at any moment under the circumstances.

She shrugged in his arms, "I'm okay, Daddy." She squeezed him a little more tightly for a moment and then stepped back from him. "I need to talk to you about my match against Stacy Kiebler tonight."

'All business,' he mused. 'She is definitely one of my little girls.' He waved to the chair nearest her and nodded, "Okay. Take a seat, honey." He moved back behind the desk and sat down. His elbows rest on the desk and he eyed her carefully, his attention entirely hers. "Is there a problem?"

Kalli shook her head, "Not so much a problem... More a little request."

She thought for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "Daddy, I don't think Kalli should job to Stacy tonight." She motioned that she was not done and he nodded for her to go on. "Stacy is still not 100% and..." She smiled a little, "I don't think Stacey Kiebler has a chance in *hell* of beating me."

The Chairman of the WWF chuckled at this, "You're becoming more and more like a Wrestler everyday."

Kalli corrected him gently, "I *am* a Wrestler, Daddy." He nodded respectfully at her at this and she went on, "Daddy, I haven't been used much in the storylines in ages. And well, honestly, I'd like to be."

"Okay." He looked at her curiously, "What do you suggest?"

She told him out right, her desire in her voice, "I want to compete in the Sudden Death Tournament for the WWF Women's Championship. I don't want to be eliminated first match by Stacey tonight."

He nestled back in the chair, folding his arms slowly before asking her, "You want to win the Women's Title?"

"I didn't say that." She told him gently, "But I want to be a part of the storyline set around it."

Vince smiled, "You have an idea, don't you?"

Nodding she told him, her tone serious and her knowledge on the subject clear, "The Women's Title rarely has any kind of real storyline to it, Daddy. It's treated as a bit of a joke by most of the WWF, and I don't think that a lot of the men in the WWF truly respect the Title at all. Very little integrity has been given to the Women's Division, and Title Matches are, nine times out of ten, thrown together willy nilly. The Tournament idea is great, Daddy, it is. But it needs more."

"What do you suggest then, Kalli?"

"A family feud." She smiled, "Stephanie and Shane are trying to bring as much WWF gold to the Alliance as possible. Its only natural that they are going to push their strongest female competitor to go after the Women's Title. We all know that in this instance, that's Ivory. You've got most of the groundwork laid out for an Ivory and Lita feud, Daddy, but that's been done before. What if we add to that angle, by having Kalli come in, dead set determined to be the first McMahon to *legitimately* win the Title? Naturally, Steph will take offence to this and wackiness will ensue."

Vince chuckled, remembering exactly why he had let Kalli join the Creative Staff in the first place. "I like that, Kalli. That's good."

His daughter grinned at him, "But wait, there's more." She went on, " I think the final match in the Tournament, at Unforgiven, should be a Triple Threat match. Lita Vs Ivory Vs Kalli."

Vince's brow creased together at this, "But if we have a tournament, how is that possible? There can only be two final competitors."

"Simple." She grinned cheekily at her father, "Lita wins her way into the tournament fair and square. But one of the last finals comes down to Kalli vs. Ivory, and Steph screws Kalli out of the win. Being that the Women's Title is still in *WWF jurisdiction,* William Regal uses his power as Commissioner to make the match a Triple Threat."

Her father grinned at her warmly, "Are you sure you don't want your job back with the Creative Team?"

"Daddy," she sighed. "The reason I quit still stands."

His voice was gentle as he asked, "Does it?"

Her eyes hardened a little when she replied, "Just because Jeff and I..." Saying it out loud was hard and despite herself she broke off a moment before skipping on, "It doesn't change my protests, Daddy. My reasons for quitting were professional..."

"My ass." He said softly.

She shook her head, biting back the snaky remark that hung on her lips. "So what do you say? Do I get to beat down Stacey Kiebler tonight or not?"

He nodded, "Okay. I still have to take this idea to the Creative Staff, Kalli, you know that. But we should leave our options open tonight. I'll inform Stacey of the change in plans."

A vicious little chuckle emerged from Kalli, "I'm sure she'll love that..." Her chuckle trailed away when her Father cleared his throat in a way that told her it would probably suit her best to shut up right about now.

"You should probably get a move on, Kalli. Your match is in 20 minutes."

She got up, "On it" and moved toward the door.

Vince called out before she could disappear, "Kalli, are you sure you're okay..."

The single word was spoken wearily and he nodded, knowing she was no doubt tired of being asked. He smiled, "Have a good match, Honey."

A soft little smile touched her face and she blew him a kiss then disappeared.

"And her opponent, from Greenwich, Connecticut, Kalleasto McMahon!"

Kalli stepped through the curtain and out onto the stage, her face bearing her signature smirk as she paused at the top of the ramp, posing all sultry and alluring for a few moments before bouncing down the ramp full of beans to her entrance music, Chinese Burn. She had to kiss a lot of record executive ass to get permission to use Curve's song as her theme, but her perseverance had paid off. The song described her in-ring persona relatively well...

She grinned when she leapt up onto the mat, holding the top rope tightly with both hands and leaning backward. Her back arched and her long hair dangled behind her. She grinned when she saw how near the camera was, mouthing her favourite two lines of the song into it, "She gets what she wants and walks away, she doesn't give a fuck what you might say..." She pulled herself upright again, then yanked back on the top rope again, propelling herself forward and flipping fancily into the ring, landing easily on her feet, glaring at Stacey Kiebler.

After the few days she had just had, she knew she would be lying to herself if she tried to act like she wasn't going to enjoy this.

Sauntering across to Stacey, she eyed the girl coolly, not even having to act at her contempt. Stacey's reply glare was most definitely sincere as well, Kalli knew. She giggled inside. Beating the hell out of Torrie and Stacey just over a month ago had been the best fun she'd had without Jeff in a long, long time.

She felt hurt tinge in her a little.

At the end of the day, she had still gone home with Jeff that night. Tonight she would go home alone.

Momentarily distracted, Stacey grinned, seizing the opportunity to start the match, stepping forward to deliver a fierce slap to Kalli's face. The girl looked up, pressing the back of her hand against her cheek, aware of the red glow forming there on. She stepped a little closer to Stacey and the girl nearly back peddled before taking a deep breath to strength her resolve and whisper, "I heard about you and Jeff, Kalli. It's *such* a shame." She shrugged playfully, "At least he's on the market again..." before moving in for a second slap.

Kalli snatched her hand easily from the air, dragging her up against her by her wrist, her long nails digging into Stacey's skin so sharply she wondered when she might drawn blood. She leered nastily in her face, "Think about it, and what I'm about to do to you now will be *nothing* in comparison to what I *will* do if I find out you've been anywhere near Jeff Hardy."

She whirled around, whipping Stacey into the ropes. When she came charging back toward her, she stooped over, grabbing her around her knees and hoisting in into the air sending her hurtling on her shoulder to land on her back behind her. The move was far more ferocious than she knew she should use on someone with relatively limited in ring ability, but Kalli was beyond giving a crap. She turned, standing over Stacey, "All right, Stacey, at least try to put up a fight..." She bent to grab Stacey by the hair but the other girl hoisted a foot, striking Kalli in the face and sending her sprawling backwards. She got gingerly to her feet and charged toward Kalli, but the McMahon Heiress was ready for her, tearing her down in a fierce arm drag and then locking in on her shoulder in a submission move, thoroughly enjoying the pained look on Stacey's face knowing full well the girl couldn't tap out even if she had wanted to.

Eventually she let her go, getting up and pulling Stacey up with her. She whipped her into a corner and followed her in, kicking her in the stomach over and over until referee Teddy Long grabbed her arm and dragged away. She turned to argue with him, preparing herself for the attack from behind she knew was coming...

When Stacey's boot sunk into her lower back, knocking her face first onto the mat, she let the girl pummel her back with very little resistance for a while before pushing up onto her knees and toppling the Alliance member. When Stacey clambered to her feet behind her, she reached up, yanking the girls hair and dropping her back onto the mat with a loud thud, climbing to her own feet and running across the ring, she bounced off the far rope and then ran back, baseball sliding into Stacey and knocking her out of the ring.

Teddy jumped out of the ring to check on Stacey while Kalli trash talked from where she leant on the ropes, peering over the side at the girl. She waited for the footsteps she knew were coming from behind her and whirled, sending a boot hurtling into Ivory's stomach as she appeared on queue behind her. When the woman doubled over, Kalli stepped forward, grabbing her and dropping her in an almighty DDT.

By the time she had hoped back to her feet, Stacey was back in the ring, steel chair in hand. As the girl moved to bring it down on her head, Kalli stepped easily aside dropping a boot onto the chair as it hit the mat and slamming it down out of Stacey's hands. She grinned darkly, grabbing the pretty blonde and yanking against her before flipping her over her head in a Belly to Belly suplex just like Kurt Angle had taught her.

The crowd obviously appreciated the move more than Stacey did, the WCW starlet letting out a sharp groan as Kalli crawled quickly over to her, Ivory now begging to stir, and pinned her. Teddy dropped, 1, 2, 3 and her music hit. She grinned to herself, "Score one for the McMahon Princess." She hopped up, jumping around the ring a bit, smiling and playing up to the crowd before sliding from the ring. She walked up the ramp backwards, pointing back to Ivory threateningly, not even looking away until she backed through the curtain to go backstage...

And backed straight into Rob Van Dam.

Out of breath, Kalli panted a little, "Uh. Sorry."

Rob smiled, "That's okay." He gestured out toward the ring, "You certainly took it to Stacey. She's going to be feeling the results of that match for the next week."

Kalli couldn't muster up any sympathy despite herself. "She's a harlot," she stated plainly, "And she gets what she deserves."

He laughed despite himself, "I heard you weren't fond of Stacey Kiebler."

She grunted, "Don't get me started," then moved to step around him.

"Uh, Kalli, I heard about you and Jeff... Are you..."

He lightly took hold of her arm to halt her but she shrugged him off, glaring up at him, "Don't even." She told him tiredly, "I'm sick of people asking if I'm okay, Rob. I really am."

Rob’s brow creased together slightly, “You just beat the crap out of Stacey out there and you’re still in too bad a mood to be civil to me?”

A guilty flush touched Kalli’s cheeks and she sighed, “Fine.” Reluctantly, “I’m sorry.”

He chuckled, a grin touching his lips, “That just kills you, doesn’t it?” His grin broadened, “Kalli, look, it’s been a long time. Can‘t we just start with a clean slate? I mean... You...” Ivory stepped through the curtain and his voice trailed away as he stepped back, making way for her as she helped Stacey hobble through behind her.

Ivory gave the McMahon Heiress a hard look, “You were a little extreme out there, Kalli, don’t you think?”

She met Ivory’s look with a hard stare, “I don’t think so at all.” Her eyes moved to Stacey, “If she can’t handle the heat, she should get out of the kitchen.”

The older of the two women snapped back, “You know she’s still learning...”

Kalli shrugged, “So am I.”

Ivory sighed, “Maybe... But you should know better than to bring your problems to the ring...”

“The only problem that was in that ring with me was her.”

Kalli thrust a thumb at Stacey, and the blonde sniffed pointedly in response. “No wonder Jeff dumped her.” She glared up at the girl, “You think just because you’re a McMahon, Kalli, you can do whatever you please...”

A nasty glare settling on her face, Kalli replied, “I can.” She leant forward, “Don’t forget your place, Stacey. You’re just the hired help.”

While both Ivory and Stacey’s jaws dropped at this, Rob smiled knowingly. This was the Kalli he had warred with for much of his early career with the WWF. The girl had a nasty streak a mile long, and though it only came out with a select few, if you got it, you knew all about it.

Clearing her throat, Ivory said gently, “Kalli... I know you’re not happy at the moment, but...”

“What do you know about it, Ivory?” Kalli caught herself before she could run off into a tirade of insults for the former Women’s Champion.

She shook her head, moving to step around them and go when she heard Stacey say quietly, “Jeff would be much better off with someone like me. The McMahon girls are nothing more than rich little Daddy’s girls who jump from Superstar to Superstar anyway...”

Kalli whirled, slapping her palm viciously across Stacey’s cheek. She shoved Ivory out of the way and grabbed Stacey by the front of her low cut top, “What I said stands, Stacey. You go near Jeff and I will break you in two faster than you can say ‘Stick figure Slut,’ you got it?” Evidentially pissed, but completely taken aback by Kalli’s demeanour, she nodded, relieved when Kalli let her go...

But the McMahon delivered one more slap to her face, telling her scathingly, “And if you *ever* say one word about my sisters again,” she smirked darkly and then turned on her heel, marching down the hall to go.

It took all of thirty seconds for Rob to catch up to her, “Kalli...”

She kept walking, and as he trailed along behind her trying to get her to stop, he felt more than just a little foolish. He asked himself near silently under his breath, “What am I even doing?” He sighed, “Kalli?” She kept walking. “Kalli???” He snatched one of her arms, whirling her to face him.

Kalli snatched her arm away so fast he almost didn’t see the move at all, “Can you just *PLEASE* leave me alone?” She was exasperated, “Can’t *EVERYONE* just leave me alone?”

He replied gently, “A lot of people care about you, Kalli. They’re all worried... They know how much you love Jeff...”

“NO ONE knows how much I love Jeff.” She snapped at him, flashes of hurt filling her eyes as she lowered her voice, “If he doesn’t even get it...” She whispered, “How can anyone else?”

She looked at him sadly, tears forming in her eyes but her determination to keep them in written plainly on her face, “Rob, please.” Her eyes met his and she told him softly, “Leave me alone.”

And the Trax Training Facility was deserted.

Kalli McMahon wasn’t sure exactly what had possessed her to come here in the middle of the night just to get some secret in-ring time when she knew perfectly well that if she asked the crew at the facility to keep quiet about her work, they most probably would.

But here she was regardless.

In the wee hours of Jeff Hardy’s 24th Birthday, she was alone save the ladder gripped tightly under her arm.

It was nice to be alone in a way. Just four days earlier she had made a bit of a debacle by slapping Stacey Kiebler *twice* outside of the ring... And if her family and friends had been worried about her prior to then, they worried even more, feeling she had acted so very out of character.

She grinned to herself.

Only Krissy really knew the full extent of Kalli’s animosity for the WCW girls. And above all else, Krissy would know that Kalli’s behaviour was perhaps not so out of character after all.

She leant over, flicking the light switch on to combat the dark in the room, moving over to the ring and sliding the ladder into it. She moved across the room to dump her bag on the chairs nearby, yanking her jumper over her head.

This wasn’t where to she wanted to be.

If she had her way, she would be sound asleep in a bed in Cameron with Jeff right now. His arms would be around her, adoring her, protecting her... Tears threatened to fill her eyes but she shook them away. Wanting her, needing her. She sighed. Needing her the way she needed him.

She could hope he missed her. She prayed he did. But every little insecurity in her wondered... She couldn’t know what he was thinking and feeling. And that hurt her worst of all.

The only thing she knew right now was that she was possibly in the process of making the biggest mistake of her life.

But she wanted him back. More than anything she did.

And she hadn’t stopped thinking about ways to have him take her back since he had told her it was over.

Because she couldn’t accept that. She would *never* accept that.

She tossed the jumper down on her bag and moved up into the ring, doing her stretches and a few little exercises to limber herself up. When she was done, she bent down and grabbed the ladder, setting it up in one corner of the ring. She climbed it slowly, surprised by just how much even the slightest movement of the mat beneath it caused it to shake. When she eventually sat atop of it she whispered to herself, "I am fucking insane."

But if this worked the way she wanted it to, her hearts only desire anymore would be with her again.

Kalli cast a look down at the mat. She was only 6 feet above it but she still felt like she would fall forever before actually landing.

"How do the boys do this?"

"Jeff does this. I can do this."

And she knew she could.

If she could just get over that initial sense of dread.

Determination echoed in her voice, "I have to do this."

If Jeff could see her do *exactly* what she had seen him do in that ring time and time again... If he could feel all her fear and all her pain... Then maybe he would see why she held on regardless.

Nothing in the world would ever be able to convince her that the heartache she went through watching him, waiting for the day he *didn't* get up, wasn't worth it. She loved him more than anything, more than anyone, and though she hated what he put her through, she would suffer through worse still to be with him. He was her everything.

She almost groaned at this.

When she had first fallen for Jeff Hardy, her faith in that kind of love was non-existent at best. She had never believed that she could ever love *anyone* with *all* of her heart. How could anyone ever matter to her more than her friends and family combined? How could anyone ever mean that much to anyone?

But that was what he meant to her.

Her father was right.

She couldn't see anything but Jeff anymore.

Kalli shook her head, muttering to herself, "This isn't going to get me anywhere..." She grabbed onto the ladder again with both hands, moving to stand on the very top of it. "Okay... Now all I have to do..." Her knees started knocking, "Is..." Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was shaking uncontrollably, "Jump..."

But as she bent to leap forward, she overbalanced slightly and the ladder toppled, sending her sprawling onto her stomach on the mat.

She lay perfectly still for a moment, waiting for the wave of pain from diving face first into the mat send through her, eventually, panting and aching, she rolled onto her back. She pressed a hand against her forehead and closed her eyes. "Ooowww." The exclamation echoed around the room and she cursed under her breath.

This wasn't going to be as easy as she planned.

Pulling herself up into a sitting position, she sat there for a moment, staring at the ladder until a little smile played out onto her lips. "My first bump off a ladder." She shrugged, rubbing the back of her neck. It had hurt, certainly, but she knew she could still climb to the top of the ladder and try again...

She hopped up, grabbing the ladder and standing it up again. She shook her hands a little before climbing back up the ladder. All she had to do was concentrate and take it slow.

At the top of the ladder, she straightened again, still nervous, but slightly more determined than before. "Okay..." She whispered to herself, "Let's try a flying drop kick..." She took a deep breath, steadying herself, and then pushed off the ladder, leaping forward and delivering a drop kick to an invisible opponent across the ring. She landed with a thud on the mat, bouncing it so much that the ladder toppled and she barely got a hand up to catch it before it smacked her in the head.

"Ouch." She whimpered again.

But she had done it.

Granted it was probably the messiest drop kick she had ever witnessed in her life, but she had done it.

And if she kept trying, if she did it again and again, eventually, she had to get it right.

A pleased little giggle broke from her and she clambered to her feet, ready all ready and raring for another attempt...

"It's 7:30am and you're listening to..."

Kalli slapped a hand over the alarm clock, turning it off with a groan. "Oh God..." She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face in the pillow, a hand darting to her aching back.

She had been in bed a grand total of about an hour.

And she was definitely *not* prepared to face the day ahead.

But she had dobbed herself in to help organize the second series of Tough Enough, and it was too late now to try and weasel her way out of it. Besides, it wasn't like it was the worst thing in the world. It was just that coming off so little sleep and a night of jumping off a 6 foot ladder in the middle of the ring had taken their toll.

She rolled onto her side, her eyes taking in the empty space beside her. Without thinking she reached out a hand to stroke the cold, unused pillow, wishing more than anything that Jeff was laying there. She sighed. If her plan didn't work, she would be waking up to a vacant space every morning for the rest of her life. No matter what else happened in her life, the only thing she could guarantee was that she would never love anyone the way she loved Jeff. And if she couldn't love anyone else that way, if she couldn't have him, then she would honestly rather be alone.

24 and however many miles away in Cameron.