Better Man
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
And Pouring Rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I’m getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I’m doing all I can
To be a better man
This wasn’t the first time Matt Hardy had lost a woman he loved.
But he would never have guessed that losing again would deal him as devastating a blow as the loss that had come before.
Granted, the circumstances, the specific emotions involved, were seen to be different, but the effects were just the same.
Matt Hardy was broken.
When his mother had died so many years before, he had felt helpless and lost. He had loved her with every tiny inch of his heart. She had touched his soul in the deepest of ways, and his entire world, without his knowing, had come to revolve around her.
When she had died, he had sworn to himself that he would be the best person he could be. In honour of her memory, in honour of the beliefs and morals she had instilled in him, he would live right. He would give power to his dreams with the strength of his faith in her, and above all else he would love, cherish, protect and nurture the people he loved.
There would never be anything more important to him in all the world.
But Matt had failed.
Go easy on my conscience
Cause it’s not my fault
I know I’ve been told
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I’m in pain
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I’m doing all I can
To be a better man
One tiny kiss.
A single moment in time.
And his life had changed forever.
It had been thoughtless, stupid, selfish even. He had forgotten all else and let his heart run away with him. He had taken into his arms a girl who could never belong there and bestowed upon her tenderness that he reserved for one in the entire world.
He had become what he wanted to protect his beloved from.
In that moment he was Adam Copeland.
Perhaps worse.
Had Adam ever stolen a kiss from the sister of the girl he loved?
He loved Kalli. He loved her like no one else.
But she would never be her Sister.
She could never be Krissy McMahon.
And though he loathed it, the plain simple truth of the matter was that she was another he had failed.
When he had promised her time and time again that his heart was hers, that his eyes would not wander, that his loyalties would not stray, he had failed.
Once you’ve found that lover you’re homeward bound
Love is all around, love is all around
I know some have fallen on stony ground
But love is all around
Losing his mother had changed him forever.
Losing Krissy had done just the same.
His beliefs were a lie, his morals a cruel joke.
And he had tried so hard...
With his every breath he wanted to honour not just his mother, but Krissy. He wanted to do right by them every day for all of his life. It hadn’t been such a big ask, had it? Love them, cherish them, devote yourself to them. Give everything that you have to them for no more reason than this...
Love.
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
And Pouring Rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I’m getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I’m doing all I can
To be a better man
She was getting married. To the man that had driven fear so deeply into his heart that it had consumed him.
All his heart had desired was there in his grasp. And though she didn’t realize it yet, though now she may never, he would have loved her more than anything else. He would live for her, breathe for her...
He would die for her.
She may have loved Adam still, but in time, he could have been the one to make her happy. He could have been the one to make her smile. To bring that sparkle to her eyes, that flush of colour to her cheeks.
He could have had her for all eternity.
And though every part of him screamed to fight for her now, to do whatever it took to make her see that he needed to be with her...
He would keep his word."Ssshhh, baby. Please don't cry." Barely able to force the words out he whispered, "If you want time, if you want space, then..." Sadness marred his luscious drawl, "I'll give you whatever you need."
Whatever she needed...
Even if what she needed was never going to be him again.
It was the only way he knew how to be what he promised his mother, what he promised himself, that he would be.
A better man.
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I’m doing all I can
To be a better man
~ The End ~