Bye Bye, Baby Blue
Kalli McMahon turned the plain, white paper envelope over in her hands, staring down at it. One thing was written across the front...
Jeff.
After Krissy had left her bedroom just a few hours ago, Kalli had sat, desperate to write this one letter, attempting to pour everything she felt into it, trying to say everything she felt she needed to. Only when she had written nearly 4 pages of worthless dribble did she realize that there was only one thing that truly needed to be said.
The words came back to her...
I’m sorry, for everything I said,
And for anything I forgot to say too.
When things get so complicated,
I stumble, at best, muddle through.
I wish that our lives could be simple,
No I don’t want the world,
Only you.
I wish I could tell you this face to face
But there’s never the time,
Never the place.
This letter will have to do,
I love you.
She hoped it was enough.
Placing a kiss on the rear of the envelope, she set it down on the coffee table. She had told her stepmother it was there before Linda and Vince had left only a few minutes ago, both heading out for another heavily scheduled day. Linda's first stop would be by the Titan Towers, Vince had an interview to do for some Business Magazine... He had told her the name, but Kalli had already forgotten what it was called.
Outside, Heidi waited for her at the limousine. She smiled at the very image of Heidi’s face when it had pulled up ready for them. When Kalli had said she had sent for a car, a Limo was the last thing Heidi Jacobs had in mind.
Walking out toward the front door, Kalli stopped at the foot of the stairs, casting a glance upward. Matt and Krissy would still be sleeping. She had considered going to wake them to say goodbye, but Krissy was no doubt exhausted and she certainly needed her rest. Besides, Kalli was not sure how welcome her visit would be.
As for Matt...
Would he even care that she was leaving?
The night before, when she had unwittingly stumbled upon he and Krissy in the kitchen, he had at least seemed to care.
Kalli shook her head. The sooner she got out of the United States, the better. She moved back to the front door, bending to grab her last suitcase. She knew very well she could have had one of the house staff carry her bags outside for her, but they remained one of those luxuries Kalli would never be able to adjust to.
She had grown up carrying her own bags, she would die carrying her own bags if she had any say it, not sure she wanted to be that much a McMahon.
Picking up the suitcase, she was about to open the door to step outside when a voice reached her ears.
“Kalli?”
She froze, her heart in her throat.
“Weren’t you even going to say goodbye?”
Resting the suitcase down, she turned to look at Matt, her sad brown eyes meeting his. Hints of bitterness in her hurt voice she told him plainly, “I didn’t even say goodbye to Jeff. Why should you get the privilege?”
Matt’s face fell, “Kalli...”
She could already fear the tears welling up in her eyes. Why did it hurt so much to see him? “Can we please not do this?” She near begged, her voice hushed, “I can’t do this.”
“We need to talk...”
He started, but she cut him off. “We need to not.” She realized suddenly that he was still stepping closer to her and she held up a hand to stop him. “Please.”
He fell silent, standing before her, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot when she lowered her eyes. He knew that the tears there in were falling. Her shoulders were shaking and he could make out the unsteadiness of her breath.
Matt had never imagined things could be like this between them...
Yet here they were.
“I worry about you, Kalli. I don’t want you to lock everyone out...”
“I won’t...” She snapped defensively.
“You will.” He snapped back. “You know you will.” She groaned and he sighed, reaching out to press his palm to her cheek completely without thinking...
She froze beneath his touch, looking up startled. “Matt,” she whimpered, “Please don’t.” Her heart was pounding once again, tingles spreading beneath her skin. If he never touched her again, she would be just fine; she would never succumb again...
But he was touching her now.
“What’s happening, Matt?” She whispered, crying softly, afraid as if for her life. “I don’t understand.” She struggled desperately, her voice barely audible, “I love Jeff. I know I do. I love him.” She was shaking now, “But when you touch me...”
He nodded, still not removing his hand, his thumb stroking lazily across her cheekbone. “I don’t understand it either...” He leaned closer to her, completely unaware of how near to each other they were until her hot breath touched his face. “Kalli...”
So close to him, Kalli was overcome. She fought, dying to step away from him and run while she still could...
But the battle was lost.
She leant forward, reaching from her tip toes, her lips lightly touching his in a kiss.
And Matt Hardy did not resist. He returned her kiss just as gently, the kiss chaste in comparison to those they had shared on the Monday night.
When they eventually broke away, Kalli looked up at him, pulling back ever so slightly, somehow unable to move right out of his arms. “Matt,” she whispered her voice sad but determination seeping into it as she sniffled, “This can’t happen.”
“I know,” he whispered. “Dammit,” aggravated at himself he told her, “I know I love, Krissy. I do.” He was exasperated as he asked her, “How do we stop this?”
Kalli McMahon was silent for a long time, her mind buzzing, and though pain lingered in her eyes, the honesty behind her words, her very integrity was there for him to see, she whispered, “It’s simple.”
“It is?” He stammered.
She nodded.
She loved Jeff Hardy. And if it took some kind of sacrifice on her part to reunite them one day, then she could make it, couldn’t she?
Her voice was cool, finding strength in the idea that maybe one day, she and Jeff, they would be whole again. “There’s a way.”
Matt looked into her eyes, desperate to know what that way was, how they could repair the damage they had done to their relationships, and to each other. “How Kalli?”
“I leave,” she whispered near darkly, “And you never touch me again.”
She placed a short, sweet kiss on his lips and then whirled quickly out of his arms, tearing open the door and grabbing her suitcase.
“Kalli!” He called after her as she ran down the front steps.
But she kept running. He looked on, watching as she handed her suitcase to the driver, jumping into the limo quickly.
For some reason...
He knew that her idea would work.
But could he handle never touching her again?
Even as friends, they had touched each other... Small gestures like a touch of hand, a playful slap, bigger moments where they would gently hold hands as the spoke, where he would hug her or she would jump on him from behind and playfully fight him to the ground to tickle him mercilessly.
Touching had been such a big part of their relationship...
Matt’s train of thought broke away.
Maybe that had been the key to their undoing in the first place.
In the limo, Kalli buried her face in her hands, crying softly.
Still sleepy, gazing out the window, Heidi turned at the sound of her sisters tears, “Kalli?” She leant forward on her seat, reaching out a hand to touch her knee, but Kalli pulled away. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “It’s okay.”
And with that she bunched her legs up against her chest, hugging them to her, staring out the window of the limousine, unable to look at Heidi for the shame and pain on her face.
“But Kalli...”
She waved a hand at her sister, “Don’t,” she whispered, “Please.”
Unwillingly, Heidi nodded, settling back into her seat, “Okay...”
While Kalli stared out the window, crying softly, Heidi watched her all the way to the airport. Her sister’s tears did not stop even once and Heidi, more than ever, was grateful that finally they would be leaving the WWF, the Hardy Boys and the rest of her warring family behind.
Because what Kalli McMahon needed was a moment’s peace...
And then everything would be fine.
Heidi sighed softly.
Yeah.
Everything would be just fine.
~ The End ~