Their Understanding

There were probably better ways to spring the kind of surprise Kalli McMahon was about to...

But truth be known, she couldn’t think of a one.

During the flight from Connecticut to New York, the plan had been simple. Wait for Matt at his hotel room, ask him to go for coffee, have a deep and meaningful and see where conversation led them.

The moment she’d stepped off the plane in New York though, her plan had disappeared, replaced by a completely incomprehensible kind of terror.

Instead of laying in wait for him at the hotel, Kalli had spent the day in Central Park. Watching lovers walk together, oblivious to all else. Watching children play, completely unaware of the pitfalls of growing up.

The hours had slipped by and darkness had ascended. From where she sat across the street, she had seen a crowd gather before the doors of WWF New York and she knew...

Whatever possessed her to see him like this had slipped away from her now. All she knew was she was there, hidden within the crowd gathered before the stage of WWF New York, some cheering, some hooting as Matt took the stage.

To the average WWF fan, Matt Hardy was looking good...

To Kalli McMahon, her friend, dared she think it, her heart, was suffering. His deep, soulful brown eyes were haunted and tortured and when he spoke, she saw the pain in him, and it made her ache. Her feet carried her forward and before she knew it, she was nearing the front of the stage, ducking and weaving through men twice her size and women dressed to impress, just wanting to be nearer to him, to see him up close without his knowing.

But the mere idea was foolish, and when the first cry of ‘Oh My God! It’s Kalleasto McMahon’ filled her ears, she could do little but shake her head at her own stupidity. If she could just form a rational thought past the longing in her for her best friend, she might make it through the next week. If not...

Well, how much worse could it be?

As the growing lull of exclaimed ‘Hey! It’s Kalli’s’ spread through the fans crammed into the standing room only space before the stage, one of the security guards leant over the front banister, scanning the crowd. He was a tall man, probably about 6’ 8” and broader than about half the guys actually in the WWF. He’d been working in WWF New York since day one and Kalli knew him well. She waved slightly when she saw him and his jaw dropped. He reached out a hand to her through the crowd, and though she was tempted to ignore it, people were starting to push and shove to get a closer look at the WWF Starlet loitering amongst them. She reached out for him and he pulled her through the thick of the first row of fans and hoisted her over the banister. “Kalli McMahon, you are fucking insane!”

The girl flashed the man a warm grin, “Why Joshua Wallace, you may be head of security here but if my Daddy heard you talk to me like that...”

He chuckled softly, “You just try it, kid.” He pulled her a little closer to the stage, “What are you doing here? And out among the crowd like that during a Raw Party?”

“I came to see...” Kalli cast a look up onto the stage and the words died away.

Matt Hardy was frozen in place. His wide eyes locked on her, his hand gripping the microphone tightly. He had been addressing the crowd when he had spotted her, safely being removed from the audience by Joshua, and all coherent thought had evaporated from his mind.

“Dammit,” aggravated at himself he told her, “I know I love, Krissy. I do.” He was exasperated as he asked her, “How do we stop this?”

Kalli McMahon was silent for a long time, her mind buzzing, and though pain lingered in her eyes, the honesty behind her words, her very integrity was there for him to see, she whispered, “It’s simple.”

“It is?” He stammered.

She loved Jeff Hardy. And if it took some kind of sacrifice on her part to reunite them one day, then she could make it, couldn’t she?

Her voice was cool, finding strength in the idea that maybe one day, she and Jeff; they would be whole again. “There’s a way.”

Matt looked into her eyes, desperate to know what that way was, how they could repair the damage they had done to their relationships, and to each other. “How Kalli?”

“I leave,” she whispered near darkly, “And you never touch me again.”

She placed a short, sweet kiss on his lips and then whirled quickly out of his arms, tearing open the door and grabbing her suitcase.

“Kalli!” He called after her as she ran down the front steps.

But she kept running. He looked on, watching as she handed her suitcase to the driver, jumping into the limo quickly.

“Matty...” She whispered.

Joshua looked between the two, “Yo Matt!” He called out to the Hardy Boy, but his eyes did not move from Kalli’s face and if he had heard the man, his face showed no sign of it. Turning back to Kalli, Joshua told her, “You’re fucking up that boys work, big time, Kalli. Get your ass up there...”

Not looking away from Matt she mumbled, “Huh?”

Shaking his head, not sure exactly what was going on but somehow knowing it was going to cause both The McMahon Heiress and the elder Hardy Boy no end of trouble, he lifted her up, making the girl squawk in surprise, standing her on the stage. He pushed a hand into her lower back, shoving her forward, “Dammit, Kalli. Do something.”

But Kalli and Matt could do little more than stare at each other.

Kalli’s heart was in her throat. There he was...

And she didn’t know what to say.

“Kalli! Dammit, KALLI!”

Joshua called out to her again and her eyes snapped around. Remembering where she was, she stepped forward, moving nearer to Matt. “Hey,” she whispered when she was near enough.

Shaking his head slightly, his mouth slightly agape in his shock, Matt asked her softly, “What are you doing here?”

Somehow a wistful, bashful smile played out on to her lips, “Honestly?” she queried gently and he nodded, her smile broadening slightly, “I’m really not sure.” She reached out a hand, taking the microphone. Their fingers brushed together and immediately Kalli felt tingles swamp her flesh, a bright tinge of red colouring her pale cheeks.

Despite himself, a smile touched Matt’s face.

It was the warmth, the confusion, the sheer innocence of the statement, I’m really not sure. Truth be told, he believed her too. If the two had anything in common anymore, above all else it would be their uncertainty in regard to each other.

Because who really knew what was happening between Matt Hardy and Kalli McMahon anymore?

Taking the microphone from him, slowly, savouring his touch, Kalli turned to the crowd, stepping into character in the blink of an eye, “How ya’ll doing tonight, huh?”

Regardless of what Kalleasto McMahon said or did out there in front of the crowd pre-Raw that night, she knew one thing for certain.

There was no way her father was going to be pleased.

In a lack lustre attempt to cover her true motivations for her visit to WWF New York that night, she had cut a completely ad libbed promo with Matt that had certainly gone over with fans better than she had expected...

“Now that you and Lita have gone your separate ways, Matt,” she told him gently, more of herself in her words than her in ring persona, “I thought that you might be in the market for a new manager.”

The Hardy boy eyed her curiously, keeping in character perfectly, “And what if I am?”

Her eyes locked on his, and she told him softly, her voice wavering slightly under the rush of nerves filling her body, her heart pounding, her face paling in a kind of fear she could only barely mask, “Then I might be in the market for a WWF Superstar to manage.”

Matt’s reply floated back to her, a warm, near adoring smile touching his beautiful face, “We’ll see, Kalleasto.” He added in a slightly more cheeky tone, “We’ll see.”

Undoubtedly, Matt Hardy the WWF Superstar would have probably just turned her down politely, telling her he didn’t need any help. But Matt Hardy her best friend, her... Whatever he was now, his answer, she had hoped, would be the very smile she had received from him and the cheeky, “We’ll see, Kalleasto. We’ll see.”

His words gave her hope.

It had only taken a few minutes to complete her promo, and so Kalli had played up to the crowd a little before leaving Matt to complete his duties for the night.

It had been stupid, really. Turning up the way she had. Raw was yet to start and so Matt still had promos to film and a continuing appearance for the fans to go through for the evening. It would be hours at best before she got any chance to really see him, and that simple fact only tortured her more.

She wondered what had truly motivated her to come this far. To follow Matt Hardy in hot pursuit of something she couldn’t quite understand.

Jeff had been her forever.

But that was over now, wasn’t it?

And though she mourned for Jeff, though a majority of her heart screamed at her to run back to him while she still might be able to, content in the knowledge that Jeff always kept her safe, that he truly did love her...

That longing for something more pushed her to Matt.

Could they ever be anything more than friends? She shook her head, they already were, but where time led them next still remained to be seen.

Matt stepped back stage, instantly spotting the girl where she leant against some sound equipment, fidgeting with the ring on her left index finger and pondering a future that was more a mystery to her than ever. When she looked up, the glisten of tears had settled into her hopeful eyes, but she did not cry. He smiled softly, she was trying to be too strong for that.

He could see it in her. Her very posture gave way to the feelings inside her. She was hurting, above all else he could see that, but she was there with a purpose. She was there to find out once and for all what the feelings inside her really meant...

And Matt would be lying his ass off if he said for one second that he wasn’t curious too.

“Hey.” She whispered softly, giving him a light smile.

He stepped nearer to her, but paused before he got within arm’s reach, knowing full well that rational thought was not possible anymore when all he needed to do was reach out...

And he could touch her. She could be there.

“I didn’t expect to see you,” he added softly, “Ever again.”

The girl’s face fell, “I’m not sure I expected to see you again either.” Without looking up, keeping her eyes locked on her feet she shrugged, “But here I am.”

The two stood in an uncomfortable kind of silence for a few minutes easily before Matt eventually asked, “Why did you come here, Kalli?” The girl’s breath quickened slightly and Matt was certain her hands started to shake at the very question, but she did not reply. “Kalli?” Still nothing, her shaking increasing, he sighed and stepped forward, taking her left hand so she could not concentrate so hard on fidgeting with that ring even a moment longer. “Why did you come?”

She whispered, but barely, “I needed to know.”

And though she could have been referring to just about anything, Matt nodded knowingly, sharing her desire to know what was happening between them. He whispered, “Me too.” He looked at her for a moment before reaching out a hand to tilt her face up so he could read her eyes, “Krissy and I broke up, Kalli. She went back to Adam.”

The girl nodded, “I know. I went home for Krissy’s birthday...” She whispered sincerely, “I’m sorry, Matt.”

He tried to shrug nonchalantly, “Maybe Krissy is right, maybe her and I weren’t meant to be,” but his hurt was clear. It still broke his heart to know that the very thing he believed in so fanatically was nothing more than a fairytale. A simple lie he and Krissy grown acustomed to living. He shook his head, trying to force the pain away. “Jeff?” He asked faintly.

It was Kalli’s turn to have her hurt shine through, glaringly obvious as she replied, “It’s over.”

“I’m sorry,” Matt told her. And he meant it. With all his heart he did.

She nodded softly, “Me too.” A tear finally escaped her, but when she moved to wipe it away, Matt had already pressed a hand softly to her cheek, his thumb gently stroking down her face, the tear melting against his skin. Her eyes met his and she gave him a tiny, near shy little smile, trying to be strong when strength seemed to allude her most. She told him honestly, “I hurt inside, Matty.” She whispered, choking up, “Don’t you?”

He nodded, “I’ve never felt so...”

She finished for him, the lone word not a question but a statement of fact, “Lost.”

“Yeah.” He agreed quietly.

“Matt? We need you back on stage.”

One of the WWF New York crewmen called out to him and the Hardy Boy sighed, “I don’t want this to end like this... I need to... We need to talk.”

Kalli nodded, “Yeah, we do.”

“Here,” Matt delved into his pocket handing her a set of keys.

She looked down at them, the words ‘Room 312’ filling her eyes. She whispered without thinking, “Four more rooms and you could have been Stone Cold Steve Austin.”

Matt chuckled softly, “You’re a nut, girl.” She looked up, smiling a smile that matched his before he told her seriously, “Wait for me there, okay? Wait for me and then we can go for coffee or something. We can go talk.”

The McMahon Heiress nearly laughed at how very like her original plan that idea had been, but instead she nodded, “I’ll wait. I promise.”

The crewman’s voice came again, “Matt? Come on!”

“I have to go,” she nodded and he smiled, leaning forward to whisper, “It won’t always be this hard, Kalli. It can’t be.” Then he pressed his lips to her forehead and hurried off, standing to talk to the crewmember for a second before looking back to her once more.

Both had tears in their eyes.

But as Matt stepped out onto the stage again, both could rest easier, content in the knowledge that, no matter what else happened from here on in...

Tonight they would understand each other.

“So...” Jeff Hardy cast a look over his shoulder at Chris, slight agitation on his face, “Can I go yet?”

The WWF Trainer chuckled softly, “Jeff, I have never known anyone so set against being checked out after a match as you.”

“I feel fine,” Jeff snapped, “It’s just a headache, I don’t see the need for all this fussing.” He glared half-heartedly at Chris, “Wouldn’t I know if there was something wrong with me?”

Chris laughed, “Considering how hard-headed you are about this things, you probably wouldn’t realize something was wrong until you dropped dead.” He mocked Jeff, his tone friendly, “I can just see it... ‘Oh gee, I think I might have really gotten hurt in that match tonight’ right as your passing through the holy gates.”

Despite how very contagious Chris’ laughter seemed to be, Jeff Hardy was not laughing. “Your sense of humour reeks, Chris. I just want you to know that.”

The Trainer’s laughter trailed away, “I know what your problem is, little Hardy.” Jeff nearly groaned, not sure whether it was the use of the term ‘little Hardy’ that annoyed him or the fact that Chris, like most of the people in his life right now, seemed to know exactly what his problem was and how best to act on it. “You’re missing that little McMahon girl.”

The younger Hardy Boy nearly growled, his tone a warning in itself, “Chris.”

“I know, I know, it’s not my place.” He told him, his voice warm, “But it seems to me that no matter how much you bitched and moaned about it, you never were happier than when that girl was fussing over you after your matches.”

Jeff shook his head. The entire locker room seemed to be a walking encyclopaedia of useful Jeff and Kalli facts tonight and it was driving him insane. “Can I go now?”

Chris sighed, “All right. All done.” Jeff got off the table and marched straight to the door. “Jeff?” The Hardy talked back, peering darkly at the Trainer. “Seeing you got yourself some time off and all now, have a Merry Christmas, okay?”

His face softened slightly but the “You too, Chris,” that escaped his lips was still tightly spoken at best.

Outside, Anastasia stood from where she had been sitting waiting for him to get checked out. At Jeff‘s request she had waited just outside the door for him, the Hardy not sure he wanted her to see him while he complained relentlessly about being checked out.

“All better?” She asked, and he nodded, flashing her a warm smile. “Good.” The girl locked a hand in his, “But you’re still staying with us tonight, just to be safe.”

The Hardy Boy laughed, “Oh yeah, you are definitely a McMahon girl.”

A little confused, Anastasia asked, “Is that a bad thing?”

He shook his head, “Not at all.” He gave her a hand a little squeeze, “Come on, let’s find that Mother of yours so we can get outta here, what do ya say?” The girl nodded enthusiastically and he stepped forward, leading the little girl gently beside him.

He had made it about three steps when his cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, half expecting it to be his father when he glanced at the display screen on the phone. Instead the number appeared as ‘Unknown.’ Curious, he answered, “Hello?”

Taking a deep breath, the girl on the other end of the phone said softly, “Hey Jeffy.”

Jeff’s jaw dropped, “Kalli?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, “I’m sorry to bother you...” She was nervous as hell, he could hear it in her voice, “But I just... I just wanted to check in with you.” She asked softly, “Are you okay? You didn’t get hurt tonight, did you?”

Jeff nearly laughed. She had broken up with him, but still she fussed about his matches...

And maybe, just maybe, Chris was right.

He was kind of happy when she fussed over him because...

That was the way she loved him.

The Hardy shrugged to himself, “I’m okay. Got a headache, but apart from that...”

“How’s your back?” She cut him off, “You didn’t jar it again, did you?”

He chuckled, “Kalli, it’s fine. Like I said, I have a headache...”

“Then you go back to the hotel, take some Tylenol and get some sleep, okay?”

His chuckle deepened, “Will you quit fussing, baby?” His chuckle died away.

She wasn’t his baby anymore.

Sadness filled Kalli’s voice, and Jeff was certain he could hear tears coming as she whispered, “I’m sorry... I can’t help it... I worry about you. I always worry about you.”

And though he wanted to think those words were a lie, he knew perfectly well she meant it. Whatever else was going on in her heart right now, she did still love him.

Without thinking he whispered, “I miss you, Kalli.”

The tone in her voice now told him the tears had come as she whispered, “I miss you too.”

He asked, sad, playful, “No chance you’re really calling to tell me you’re coming home to me, huh?” A tiny sob filled the phone and he sighed, “I didn’t think so.”

His eyes filled with tears of his own. Beth had been hard... Kalli was nearly killing him.

In pain like no other, he said flatly, “I guess you’ll want to come by sometime and get your things from the house.”

“Yeah,” Kalli whispered, breathless from her tears, “I guess I’ll have to.”

He asked softly, “Any idea when you’re going to come to Cameron next?”

She shook her head even though the gesture was wasted on him, “I’m not sure...”

“Jeff? Are you okay?” Anastasia tugged on his hand, drawing his eyes to hers. He tried his damndest to blink away his hurt, but there was no hiding anything from a kid and Jeff knew it. They were so much more clued in where other people’s feelings were concerned than any adult could ever be.

“I’m okay, Anna.”

Sniffling, Kalli asked gently, “Anna is with you?”

“Yeah,” Jeff nodded, forgetting for a moment that Kalli couldn’t see him, “I’m staying with her and Krissy tonight.”

The McMahon Heiress smiled softly to herself. That was what she had wanted. Krissy had told her she would be there for Jeff and she was. So long as he had her older sister, then he would never really be alone.

Because even though she had been the one to leave this time around, Kalli McMahon never wanted Jeff to be alone. He didn’t deserve loneliness. No. He deserved love. How she wished she still believed she was the one to give him that.

“I should probably go, Kalli.”

The girl sighed softly, “Yeah.” They were silent a while and then she whispered, “Take care of yourself...” The last word was a desperate plea and it broke Jeff’s hard to hear it, “Please?”

He nodded again, “I will. You too, okay?”

Meekly she whispered, still sniffling, “Okay.”

He whispered softly, “Bye Kalli.”

“Bye Jeffy...” She whispered before the line went dead.

Jeff sighed, putting the phone in his pocket again.

“That was my Aunty Kalleasto?” Anastasia asked sweetly. Jeff nodded and she went on, “She’s nice, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” he lowered his eyes, stepping off again, gently leading the girl with him.

“Then why did she just make you sad?” The little girl asked innocently.

Again Jeff sighed, his voice gentle, “You tell me, Anna, and then we’ll both know.”

They were the longest few hours of Kalleasto McMahon’s life.

She lay on the plush Queen sized bed in Matt Hardy’s hotel room, her exhaustion settling in. She almost wasn’t sure what was more draining in the end. Seeing Matt or the phone call she had shared with Jeff only an hour or so ago.

“I guess you’ll want to come by sometime and get your things from the house.”

All honesty, she hadn’t even thought about that. It was so...

She and Jeff really were over, weren’t they?

Burying her head in her arms as she rolled over to rest on her stomach, she let the tears she had not stopped crying since she had spoken to Jeff consume her again. She was tired of crying all the time, but these days... It seemed like all she could do.

When a gentle hand nestled into the small of her back, the bed shifting under her as the weight of a second person rest upon it, she rolled slightly to one side, looking up past her tears, startled. “Matty?”

He nodded, “Yeah.” He reached out, again wiping tears from her gentle face, “I’m here.” He cooed softly, “I’m here.”

Suddenly embarrassed that she was in tears, she whispered, “I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be.” He leaned a little closer to her, still tenderly wiping away each tear that hit her cheek, “Why are you crying?”

She shrugged sadly, “Just... Everything... Jeffy,” she murmured, “You.” She tried to explain what she was feeling, but the words made no sense in her head and instead she simply continued to cry softly as she whispered, “I don’t really know why it was so important to me that I come here, Matt... I just...” Without thinking, she reached up, her had gently pressing against his cheek, “I wanted to be near you.”

He nodded, “I know. I feel that too. About you.” He told her gently, “I miss Krissy so much, Kalli. So much I keep thinking that any second now its going to be too much and its going to kill me, but...” He broke off, looking away from her.

The sense of truth, the knowledge that these feelings were real consumed him, and he was flat out terrified. This was really happening, wasn’t it?

Kalli’s hand, still nestled against his cheek, pushed his face slightly so he had to face her. He was only aware of how much she was shaking when she whispered meekly, “But what, Matty?”

He whispered, frightened, “But then I think that maybe... Maybe there’s truth to what Adam and Krissy say...” His eyes locked on hers and she could see that he was searching for something in her that she had not been sure she was able to give...

The Hardy Boy struggled on, “Maybe you want to be with me.”

A soft smile touched the girl’s face, “Matty...”

“I understand if you don’t,” he cut her off, virtually rambling, “I know what Jeff means to you. I know better than anyone...”

The girl slapped a hand softly over his mouth, locking her eyes on his. She whispered gently, “How is that we know each other better than we could ever know anyone else, yet when it comes to this... This stuff... This scary but amazing stuff between us... We don’t have a clue.”

He shrugged, gently removing her hand to hold it in his, hints of a smile on his lips, “I don’t know.” He explained softly, “When I look at you know, I forget everything I’m supposed to know.” He blushed crimson as he whispered, “When I look at you...”

His words trailed away and she whispered, “What do you see?”

“A thousand old memories,” he explained carefully, “And the chance to make a thousand new ones.”

Kalli’s heartbroken tears sparkled joyfully with renewed life as she asked playfully, her voice laden with emotion, “Only a thousand?”

The colour in his cheeks only deepened, “Kalli...” He stammered.

The McMahon Heiress giggled softly, “I know.” She reached up, letting her fingers tangle gently in his hair. When her giggle died away, she told him seriously, “Matty, I have just given up everything I have ever believed in because I want to know if...” She looked deeper into his eyes than ever, “If my life is meant to be with you.”

Relief washed over Matt and though he couldn’t really ever explain why, he was grateful it had. “You want to be with me?”

Shyly, Kalli whispered, “Do you want to be with me?”

And while it would only have taken a simple ‘I do’ to give her the answer she was evidently yearning for, Matt had a much more meaningful answer for her.

The eldest Hardy Boy leant forward, gently pressing his lips to hers as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a sitting position, her own arms tangling around his neck. They leant into each other, safe, content...

When the kiss broke away, they pulled slightly away from each other, their faces still so close they could feel each other’s warm breath, their eyes locked together...

And each with a smile dancing onto their lips.

Shaking, Kalli whispered, “What happens next, Matt? Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know,” he told her honestly, “But... Let’s find out together. Okay?” The girl nodded enthusiastically before guilt flushed her cheeks, catching the change in her look, Matt asked softly, “What is it, Kalli?”

She whispered, “Jeff... Krissy...” She looked away a moment, thinking to herself and then looked back to him, “Maybe... Maybe we shouldn’t... Not in front of them... I... I don’t want them to think we’re rubbing it in.”

Matt nodded, catching her meaning, “Yeah. I know.” He sighed, “For Jeff especially...” He told her truthfully, “I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

Kalli murmured, “Me too.”

They fell into silence for a while before Matt eventually gave her a sweet smile, “So...”

“So?” She looked at him curiously.

“Still up for that coffee?” He asked.

Kalli smiled, “Oh... Hell... Yeah...” She giggled, “I need a caffeine fix right now like I need air.”

The Hardy laughed, “Me too.” He got up, taking her hand...

A few minutes later, they were heading out into the night, not sure what tomorrow would bring.

But safe in the knowledge that they were where they needed to be.