The Wisdom of the Game
Kalleasto McMahon stood perfectly still, her eyes locked together as she breathed, grateful for the darkness. She waited minutes, perhaps more, for the throbbing in her head to subside, barely able to keep her nausea at bay...
And then she stepped forward, slamming her fist into the punching bag, satisfied by the thump that echoed through the gym. Keeping her eyes closed, she listened for the creek of the bag swinging back toward her and side stepped it, raising her knee to strike it squarely.
It had been a long time since she’d done this.
The sneaking away in the middle of the night to pummel some innocent punching bag senseless.
When she had been with Jeff, it was a bit of a pre-Pay Per View ritual. Any night before any kind of gimmick match Jeff would have, she would take out all her frustrations, all her fear, and for a little while at least, it would make her feel better.
Tonight was different.
Kalli’s frustrations were all her own, all aimed at her own mindless ability to self-destruct.
And her fears..
She stepped around the punching bag again, spinning into a roundhouse kick.
Her fears were simple.
Matt. Jeff.
Matt...
She was going to lose him, wasn’t she? If she couldn’t learn to get over Jeff...
She shook her head, trying to shake away the rush of tears that wanted to escape her.
All she wanted was Matt. All she needed was Matt.
God damn Jeff Hardy all to hell for keeping a hold on her heart.
The girl paused, catching the punching bag. She knew she couldn’t blame Jeff. As easy as it would be, and as simple as it would make it, Jeff was not the reason she kept hanging on. Her own heart was the source of her problems. But however she might be able to fix it...
Kalli did not know.
She let out an aggravated scream and shoved the punching bag away. When it swung back to her, she kicked it, once, twice, the moment it neared her again, before she spun around when it came back with slightly more velocity than it had previously. As it swung back the way it had come, she buried her fist deep into it. As she moved closer to pummel it, the bag kept slipping away from her, and the girl’s frustration only increased...
Until two hands reached out, snatching hold of the bag and holding it still for her.
She looked up, surprise on her face as she whispered breathlessly, “Pauly.”
“You know,” he told her softly, “Beating the living shit out of something works better if it stays still.”
She smiled, nodding softly. “You wanna hold for me?” He nodded in return, his gorgeous eyes on hers. One look in them and Kalli knew that Paul Levesque knew exactly why she was so upset. And as he had been so many times for her in the past, tonight he was going to be her rock while she lost control of her heart, her soul, her very self...
Slamming a fist into the punching bag, Kalleasto McMahon let her fury consume her. She pounded at the bag, one fist after another, the occasional knee, a few kicks that nearly sent Paul flying backwards as he struggled to keep the bag still for her.
Kalleasto McMahon never realized it, but she was a strong girl.
Piss her off, and that strength? Hell, it even frightened Paul from time to time.
When eventually, the punches came slower, less power in them, Kalli’s temper appeased, her strength weaning under exhaustion, she came to a halt, panting softly.
He grinned at her, “Feel better?”
“Uh huh,” she managed breathlessly, “Of course... I’ll be all pissed off again in say...” She threw a look at her watch, “15 minutes... But you know...”
Paul nodded, “Yeah. I think I do.” He moved across the gym, Kalli following close beside him, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge for her and handing it over. She smiled her thanks and then he moved to sit down, motioning for her to sit beside him. When she did so, he let his eyes wander over her. She was clad in a white WWF Tiny T and a pair of shorts, her hands heavily strapped to support her fists. He smiled, Kalli never did like wearing gloves when she beat up on punching bags and the like.
But when his eyes crept to her face, his smile faded.
She looked so tired. So hurt. The ongoing war in her heart between Matt and Jeff, a war neither one seemed to be actively participating in, was taking it’s toll.
Kalleasto McMahon was worn out, and Paul Levesque couldn’t keep his worry at bay.
“Wanna talk about it, Kalli?” She shook her head at him and he pressed gently, “Come on.” His lips upturned into a teasing smile, “You know you wanna.” She still shook his head and he pouted slightly, “But... But...” He rest a melodramatic hand on his chest, “It’s me. You always talk to me.”
The girl giggled softly, “Do I just?”
The WWF Superstar nodded, “I could tell you things about yourself that would make your toes curl.”
“Um, colour me confused, but I didn’t actually tell you most of those things.” She took a sip at her water, “You saw, remember?”
Paul laughed, “Either way, I know things.” But his tone was much more serious as he whispered, a slight plead in his voice, “Talk to me.”
She sighed, “Pauly...”
“Kalli.” He spoke her name. All his love and concern for her in the single word.
Again the girl sighed, “It’s just...” She paused, looking down at the water bottle in her hand a long time. “I’m still all lovey dovey girl about Jeff,” and though her tone was not serious, the girl putting a lightness on the words that did not belong, her face conveyed her true worry. “And... I’m scared that I... That I might lose Matt.”
“If you can’t let Jeff go?” He asked, and she nodded. “Kalli...” He reached out, pulling her over to sit beside him, wrapping his arm around her. The girl immediately melted into the touch, always warmed by Paul’s affection for her, by the safety she had always found in him. “If you can’t let go of Jeff...” He wanted to spare her his words but he knew she needed to hear them, and they had never lied to each other, not once, no matter what hurt it might cause them. Everything they had ever shared had been built on honesty, and it was a tradition Paul did not care to change. “Then Kalli... You might lose Matt. You might.” She tucked her head further under his chin at his words, “And that’s why, you need to find a way to let Jeff go.”
She whispered in response, “Got any magical solutions for me?”
“Only one,” he whispered, kissing her hair softly, “Keep chasing eternity.”
Kalli looked up at him at this, the last time he had said those words to her flooding back...
“You certainly have mellowed, Kiddo.”
Kalli slapped his hand painfully and the WWF Superstar yanked it away as she told him, “That’s just rich coming from you, Mr. Devoted Husband of the Year, 2001.”
“Like you’re any better, Little Miss Chasing Eternity.”
The McMahon Heiress smiled gently at this, musing to herself, “Chasing Eternity.”
Paul locked his eyes on her dreamy face, “Well aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” she whispered, pondering a few moments before going on, “I think I might be.”
It had been the night before she’d flown to New York in hot pursuit of Matt, finally certain that what she wanted, what she need in her life, was the elder of the Hardy Boys.
There had been such certainty in her that day, such love. For that one day, as much as she had still loved Jeff, she had left him behind to focus her attentions solely on Matt. And somehow... Somehow she had to do that again.
“Pauly,” she whispered, her eyes locked on his, “I want to feel that way again. They way I did that day. Just safe. Safe with Matt.”
His eyes set quizzically, “Matt doesn’t make you feel safe?”
The girl thought for a moment, “No... I feel safe with him. Safer than I’ve ever felt with anyone,” her cheeks flushed a little at this, but he nodded understandingly. There was a long pause and then she whispered solemnly, “It’s Jeff that scares me.”
“In what way?” He asked gently.
Kalli thought a moment more and then told him, “In that... He might cost me everything I’ve wanted my entire life... Without even trying to...” She shook her head, “I’m so drawn to him.”
Paul whispered, “And when you feel that pull to him, what does that make you feel?”
Hurt marred Kalli’s face as she whispered, “Ashamed.”
The Game smiled, “Then Matt has nothing to worry about, and neither do you.” Her eyes met his again, curiosity in them. He chuckled, “Kalli, honey, if your feelings for Jeff make you feel ashamed, then you know, you know in yourself, that they’re wrong for you. And that you continue to feel that way... It all makes for the first steps of getting over him.”
“But...” She whispered weakly.
“But what?” He cuddled her tightly, “Your heart knows where you’re supposed to be.” He kissed her forehead again, his firm belief in the words, “Just give it time, Kalli.”
The girl sighed, “Time.” She whined, “That requires patience.”
“Yes, and you have none.” He chuckled, “You’re just gonna have to learn some, baby girl.” A tiny giggle broke from her lips at the use of one of the old nicknames he used to have for her and a deep smile painted his lips. “That’s better.”
The girl tightened her own arms around him, kissing the underneath of his chin, “Thanks, Pauly.”
“Now,” he pulled away from her slightly, “Go hop into bed with that bad boy of yours.”
“Okay...” Excited, she climbed to her feet, about to turn and go when she paused, “What about you?”
“Me?” He asked.
She nodded, “Don’t you wanna pour your heart out too? About Linds, and Joanie?”
He shook his head, smiling deeply, comforted that he had been able to help his friend. “My work here is done. You go.” He glanced at his watch, “Besides, by my count, you only have about 7 more minutes before you get all pissed off again.”
Kalli laughed at this, “Thanks, Pauly.” She bent down, placing a short, sweet kiss on his lips and then turning and running from the Gymnasium.
Paul Levesque watched after her, smiling.
One of these days he knew that girl was going to get it right.
~ The End ~