What's Forever Anyway?

Alone in the dark of their hotel room, curled into a ball on the plush bed, her knees hugged to her chest as she rocked slowly back and forth. Tears of worry, tears of fear, hung in her eyes, ready to be cried at any given moment.

But Matt Hardy had told her he would be home hours ago, and as the minutes rushed by, pushing the time nearer and nearer the 3am mark, her feelings of uneasiness grew stronger and stronger.

Wherever he was, something wasn’t right. He would have called, he would have... Something... If everything was okay.

The girl shook her head. She was just being stupid now. Matt was a big boy, he could take care of himself.

Had she screwed up again? Was the fussing over Jeff she still cursed herself for now, hours later, the reason he had not come back to the hotel?

The first of her tears swam softly onto her cheeks and finally at a loss, she picked up the phone from the bedside. Though logic said she should call Matt, she had already tried a good two dozen times...

So she dialled a different cell, grateful when she heard the sleepy, but familiar voice at the other end of the phone.

He growled softly, “Then why are you crying?” She said nothing and he sighed, “I can hear you sniffling.”

Kalli sobbed softly, “I’m sorry... I just...” She took a deep breath, desperate not to sound as pathetic as she felt, “Matty hasn’t come back yet... And... There’s something wrong... I know there is.”

He’d like very much to tell his friend to stop being silly and go to sleep, that Matt was fine and would no doubt be back soon.

“I know I’m being stupid,” she rushed out as she cried, “But... Pauly... Everything has been so fucked up lately... And I know Matty has been so hurt... And so upset about Jeff... And I just... I fussed again. I fussed! I’m so stupid...”

Barely able to get a word in edge wise Paul eventually managed to coo, “Hey, Baby Girl. Slow down...”

It stilled Kalli like the pause button on a remote control. The moment he spoke her name she was silenced, her attention all his.

“Listen to me,” he said softly, “You need to calm down, okay?” She nodded though the gesture was wasted. He took a deep breath, grateful she seemed a little more together, “Now tell me,” he asked lovingly, “What’s really wrong, Baby Girl?”

When no answer came he asked her softly, “Is it still Jeff?” Still nothing, “Kalli...”

“No,” she shook her head empathically, “Not anymore. I just...” She told him softly, her voice filled with shame, “I’m tired of loving him. Pauly...” Her words were filled with her honest belief in them, “I just want to love Matty. I just want to make him happy like he deserves.”

Kalli struggled, feeling her hurt swelling in her heart again, “But I saw Jeff tonight, after his match, and dammit, Pauly... I fussed... I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t help it... And...” The words starting falling over one another again, “And now Matty hasn’t come back yet... And... And...” She sobbed softly, “What if he’s upset with me? God, what if I hurt him? I don’t want to hurt him, I don’t...”

Again he spoke her name and she drifted into instant silence. “Baby Girl, I thought we already had this conversation a couple of weeks back.”

“You just nothing,” he told her firmly. “Kalli, you love Matt, Matt loves you. All is right with the world so quit worrying...”

He growled in response, this time much less gently than he had before, “Kalli, it is! Dammit, you just need to wake up and realize that and quit pouting about Jeff all the time...”

The Game sighed, “I’m sorry.” He chuckled softly, “This is what you get when you wake me up at 3 o’clock in the morning.”

She smiled softly, appeased by the gentleness in his voice, “I’m sorry, Pauly. I was all sooky and I don’t have anyone else to cry to.”

“Hell, its not that I mind, Kalli, but I am in some desperate need of beauty sleep.” The girl laughed at this and he shot back playfully, “Hey! You’re not supposed to laugh.”

But still the girl giggled, her sadness melting, realization that Paul was right settling in. She did spend far too much time worrying about Jeff and the moment that knowledge kicked in she knew as well as he seemed to that she would be much better off.

Warmth filled the girl’s voice as she told the man, only two doors up and across from her in the swish hotel the WWF was calling home for the evening, “I’m sorry, Pauly. I know you’re beautiful.”

The girl snuggled deeper into his arms, pressing her lips to the underneath of his chin, “Bad luck, Pauly. You are.”

Damn. He just wanted to see her as happy as she had been back then once more. He needed to see that perfect smile dance onto her lips, completely uncontrolled, so free, so endearing...

Not when her every fear seemed to come in the form of losing the only thing that honestly seemed to matter to her anymore.

She sighed, “Okay, okay...” A smile touched the McMahon Heiress’ face, “Can I see you in the morning?”

Kalli giggled at this, “Coffee. Yay!” A yawn took hold of her, catching her by surprise as she spoke, suddenly aware of how tired she was, “So I’ll see you then.”

“Goodnight...” She whispered back as he hung up the phone. The girl returned her own phone back in to its cradle and snuggled down in the bed, yawning again, closing her eyes, deciding to try for sleep.

The man crept into the hotel room, almost grateful to find it dark, silent but for the gentle sound of Kalli’s breathing where she lay sleeping.

Moving across the room, he pulled off his shirt before quietly kicking off his shoes and socks. When he stood by the bed, he could make out her sweet face in the moonlight, and though she slept, her expression was pained. He knew she would have waited hours for him before eventually falling asleep. She would have worried...

Matt Hardy sighed, lowering his head into his hands. If he could avoid doing this to her, he would.

He pulled off his pants, climbing into the bed beside her in his boxer shorts, careful not to disturb her. If she woke...

Matt loved Krissy. Jeff loved Kalli. The McMahon girls loved the Hardy Boys and all was good. All was right. But over the tumultuous year that had followed...

And they had. For all of them. Krissy, Kalli, Jeff. Even Matt himself could say this past year had seen him love more, and lose more, than he ever had in his entire life. So many times he’d been so sure he knew what he wanted, what he needed, and then his world would be turned upside again, and lost he would cling to whatever love he had.

Maybe that was what had happened with Kalli. He sighed, looking over to the girl, reaching out a gentle hand to softly stroke her hair as she slept. She was so beautiful, so smart, so funny, so strong. She loved and adored him, she always had, and though over the past months their relationship had changed almost beyond recognition, she was still the girl he had always known.

His eyes swept over her gentle features, her soulful brown eyes hidden by her slumber, her soft, full lips a sweet pout as she breathed so deeply. Her shoulder length red hair fell messily about her shoulders, and when his fingers crept from her hair to filter lightly across her cheek, her body moved in her sleep, her face tilting into his hand.

That he was becoming a father. The one thing he had always hoped to be with the one girl he had ever believed he could share that with...

Tears brimmed in his eyes and he closed them to keep them away, his heart aching. He loved Kalli. God he did. But Krissy...

The man’s eyes snapped open and he looked down at Kalli, the girl’s eyes still closed as she crept softly, exhaustedly across the bed to wrap her arms around his waist where he sat up in the bed. Near choking on his words he somehow managed to whisper, “Go back to sleep, Kalli...”

But she shook her head softly, “No...” She whispered again, “You’re not... I can tell...”

He smiled softly. Even near unconsciousness she could read him, “Go to sleep, McMahon. We can talk in the morning.”

Only barely aware of herself and her surroundings she whispered, “But... My goodnight kiss...” She rolled onto her back, her face upturned towards his though her tired eyes remained closed, “Please, Matty...”

The Hardy Boy nearly shook his head, not sure he even wanted to kiss her, frightened she would instantly hone in on his emotions whether she was half asleep or not.

Yet unable to deny her, he leant down, placing a soft kiss on her lips. His lower lip trembled slightly under it and he froze, frightened she would feel the tears that were destined to fall before the night was through.

Instead though her hands crept to his face, her fingertips brushing across his cheeks before slipping into his hand as she whispered tearfully, “I’m so scared I hurt you today, Matty... I...” She whispered, opening her eyes only barely to look up into his in the darkness, “I know I’m messing up with Jeff, I know I am.” She kissed him again, loving him with her very touch, “But I’ll be better. I promise you.”

Nearly screaming for the pain that took hold of him at this he whispered, “Go to sleep.” He kissed her forehead, shifting her so he could lay down in the bed beside her. He nearly grimaced when she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest, covering his naked torso with little kisses. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

Her eyes slipping closed, sleep already threatening to creep back over her again, she told him softly, “Okay, baby.” She yawned, her voice a soft lull, “I love you.”

When sleep started to slip away from Kalleasto McMahon in the early hours of that fateful Tuesday morning, Matt Hardy closed his eyes, feigning sleep. He had not slept a wink since he had come home only an hour or two before...

And though he had not stopped running the words he was to use to break this girl’s heart over and over in his head, he still didn’t know what to say to her.

Instead he lay there as she stirred, lovingly kissing his face before climbing from the bed in one of his 3 Xtreme t-shirts, running her fingers through her hair, only tangling it more as she moved across the room to the bathroom, the bathroom door closing over behind her.

He didn’t even know where to begin. He shook his head, opening his eyes, staring into the empty space across the hotel room, the tears still hanging in his eyes. Just a rush of words was all it would take...

She loved him. No matter what she felt for Jeff, no matter how she fussed over him or worried for him, she loved Matt. She had been loyal. She had been faithful.

And while she pushed and pushed herself to let go of her past, to move on for him, his own past had just overtaken him.

But the girl had already seen the look on his face. Concern filled her eyes, her teeth sinking nervously into her lower lip as she moved across the room to sit on the bed beside him. “Baby?” She whispered, “What is it?”

And in that moment, Matt Hardy wanted to run more than he ever had in his entire life. She was so worried, so afraid...

“God,” he whispered, the brave face he was trying to put on only weakening when she reached out for him, taking his hand in hers. “Kalli...” He struggled, “Something happened...”

Confused, she asked, “What, baby? What happened?” For a good minute, he didn’t answer her, and only growing more afraid by the anguished look on his handsome face, she whispered, “Matty... You’re scaring me...”

Kalli paled, her heart in her throat. If she had been frightened before, she was now flat out terrified. She took a deep breath, whispering, “What...” She paused, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to ask, part of her already sensing the answer that was to come. “What about her?”

“I... I’m going ba...” The girl let go of his hand and he paused. He didn’t need to say another word. She knew all too well what was happening. “Kalli...”

“You’re going back?” She whispered. He did not respond and she nearly screamed, “YOU’RE GOING BACK???”

Shocked by the heartbroken rage in her voice, Matt nearly leapt back on the bed. “Kallikins...”

“No... No...” She whimpered, climbing from the bed, her hands covering her ears as she stood, her entire body trembling. “No... No... No... I don’t want to hear it... I don’t want to know... No... No...” She started pacing softly, tears coming to her eyes. “No...”

His heart aching at the sight, Matt got out of the bed, moving over to her, he touched her arm gently, grasping her wrist to pull her to a halt, “Hey,” he turned her to him, surprised to see her face already awash with tears. “Kalli...” He whispered, hurt for her. “Baby...”

“Why?” She shook her head, her shock not fading in the slightest as her words came, “Why, Matty, why?”

She shook her head, “But... But...” At a loss she stammered, “Is it me? Is it because of me?” She tangled her fingers in her hair, yanking on it with enormous strength but seemingly unaware of the pain it caused her. “Is it because of Jeff? Because I’m trying, Matty... I’m trying so hard... I don’t want to be with him.. I don’t...”

“No,” he whispered, taking hold of both her hands, horrified by the loose strands of hair that were still wrapped in her fingertips. She had hurt herself and she hadn’t even realized... God... “Kalli,” he told her softly, “This has nothing to do with Jeff...”

“But I love you...” The McMahon Heiress stammered softly, her heart shattering inside her.

He shook his head at her, pulling her into his arms, whispering, “Kalli, I want to be with her. I didn’t realize it, I didn’t know... But I do now.”

But something flared in the girl and she snapped, “No you don’t! If you knew... If you knew...” A sob filled her, “You wouldn’t go, you wouldn’t! Not to her!”

“NO!” She stepped back out of his arms, her despair filtering toward anger, “She never loved you the way she was supposed to, Matty! She always loved someone else!”

The girl stepped back as though she had been slapped, “Don’t...” She whispered, crying heavily, before yelling, “Don’t make me out like I’m the bad one here!!!”

“No matter how I feel about Jeff, I’m loyal to YOU!” She sobbed, “I’m loyal to you because I love you and I want to be with you. Matty...” She took a desperate breath, moving to stand against him, her hands resting on his hips as she looked up at him, “We’re meant to be forever, remember? We’re meant to be forever...”

A tear slipped down Matt’s face, “Oh, Kallikins...” He touched her cheek gently, “I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry,” she whispered, her voice full of pain, her eyes filled with her torment, “Just don’t go.”

“I don’t want to,” she cut him off. Shaking as she pressed into his arms, resting her head on his cheeks. “I just want to be with you. Please, Matty?” She nearly begged, “Please... Tell me you want to be with me.” He remained silent, crying, aching. She sobbed softly, desperate, “Tell me you want to be with me.”

And the moment the words were out of his mouth, she was out of his arms, turning and fleeing for the door, tearing it open and running out into the hall, not even aware she was still clad only in his t-shirt and panties. “Kalli!” He called after her, dashing out the door behind her. “Wait!” He managed to catch her part way down the hall, yanking her to a halt, “Wait!!!”

But she turned into him, her hands planting in his chest, shoving him, “Don’t touch me!!!” She screamed at him, “Don’t touch me EVER again!!!”

“No! NO!!!” She leant forward shoving him again, “I hate you! I FUCKING HATE YOU!” She screamed, her voice cracking under the weight of her tears, “You bastard, you son of a bitch...” She back pedalled, sobbing heart wrenchingly, “I hate you...”

“We were meant to be forever... We were meant to be...” She took a deep breath, so overcome, desperate to regain control. “But forever... Love...” She shook her head, spite on her face, “You know what they are, Matt? Do you know?” He simply stared sadly at her in response, and she taunted him viciously, angry and lost, “Huh? Do you know???” She laughed excruciatingly, “They’re BULLSHIT!!! It’s all FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!”

“Like you would fucking know!” She stepped forward, shoving him again, “I gave you that, Matt! I gave you love, I gave you my forever!!! And it’s not GOOD ENOUGH for you? I’m not good enough???” She sobbed, “I hate you... I hate you...” She backed away slowly, but her knees buckled beneath her and she slumped to the floor. Her knees pressed into the carpet and she stooped forward, burying her head in her hands, her forehead resting on the ground.

The Hardy Boy looked up, his eyes meeting Paul Levesque’s face where he stood in his hotel room door. He stepped out of the room and Matt shook his head, his voice barely audible, “There’s more... Paul, there’s more I have to tell her,” he told The Game, his heart filtering to his baby. To his son.

But Paul was adamant, “Not today, Matt.” His eyes sparkled wildly, his protectiveness toward Kalli coming out in angry waves, “You have nothing more to say to her today.”

And unsure what else to do, damn, not even sure there actually was anything he could do, he simply nodded, knowing Paul would not allow him to be any closer to Kalli that day. He stepped back little by little...

“Baby Girl,” Paul knelt beside Kalli, touching her shoulder. His anger replaced with his compassion for his long time friend. The girl looked up, and seeing the devastation on her face, Matt wanted to die. “It’s okay...”

Barely breathing for her sobs, Kalli only managed a weak, “Pauly...” He opened his arms to her and she immediately melted forward into them. “I hate him... I hate him...”

“No you don’t,” he whispered softly, casting a sad glance at Matt as he pulled the McMahon Heiress to her feet. He picked Kalli up, the girl snuggling into his arms, “Come on, Baby Girl.”