You know what I feel like doing right now?
Getting up, walking over to the

knife block, taking out the biggest, sharpest one I can find, put it against

my wrist, and slide the blade across until it's crimson.
..... But I'm not

going to.
I finally opened my eyes.
I was looking at life.
At existence.

And I hated it.
It was cruel, it was awful.
What's the point to all of it?
The pain, the misery.
They say there's nothing stronger than love.
They

are wrong.
There is something stronger.
Hate.

If I hadn't been taught all my life that you go to hell when you kill yourself, I'd be dead already.

Hope is an illusion.
There is nothing.
I don't know whether I'm coming

back to AGFF or not.
I don't know whether I'm going to be on AIM anymore.

I don't even know if I'm ever gonna log online again after I log off

tonight.
I don't even know if I'm gonna to, by some miracle, not wake up

tomorrow morning.
It's not worth it anymore.
After talking on AIM, someone had suggested this horrid mood of despair and hopelessness I'm in will pass.
Maybe they're right.
Maybe I'll be back tomorrow senselessly and foolishly

posting a 9 page sig and talking off-topic, acting like nothing is wrong.
I

don't know anymore.
But for now, and probably forever, goodbye, AGFF.
I'll

try to go on and restrain myself from the knifeblock.
And no, Cypher and

Seb, you didn't beat me in a flame war.


Life beat me.

hacked by k3wld00d

by the way, y3r still 0wned

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