Welcome to Hol!
Now shut up & listen!
Here are some player targets to tease your players with. Or kill them. Your choice.

	The Pugilator		Dark Lager		Bob Houseguy		Super Guy		Sidekick Boy
	Stapleface the Celobrant		The Weapons Wench		Fritz the Wonderpuppy		Captain McBaldy		Captain Smiley
	Surly McLoon		George Burns		Spork		Nerf		Boinky the Clown
	Banter Toast

NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
The Pugilator	Too old for this s**t	As psychotic as they come	Not anymore	Holes	Get the guys responsible

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
4	9	5	10	9	10	Psycho - he can intimidate anyone (Nuts roll to resist)

SKILLS	Turn Radios Into Howitzers	Seek the Guilty	Spot Wastit	Make Someone Stop Living With Your Fist	Pummeling With the Assistance of a Large Object	Comprehension Through Pugilation	Make Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed	Scathing (Ooh, Big Word) Sarcasm	Make Anything You Say Sound More Important Than The Voice of God
RANK	4	6	3	5	3	4	5	4	2

SKILLS	Third Person Narration	Shootin' Any Kinda Guns	That Psycho Bruce Lee S**t	Dramatic Entry	Operating Vehicles Bigger Than Something Really Small	Wicked Quickdraw	Withstand Hellish Agony	Run With Scizzors	Running Blindly Into Eternal Damnation (Cause You're too Psychotic to Care)
RANK	10	4	3	4	2	5	10	10	10

EQUIPSTUFF
Happy Box - 1 of each weapon can be pulled per game session	Kevlar Costume - AR: 4	Coffee - with extra caffeine	Van - (teeny tank) 12/just right/60

Once a (relatively) good cop. He went nuts one day after watching too many Dirty Wilson movies. After trying to kill the Chief of Police for being too soft on crooks, Fred Keep (a.k.a. the Pugilator) was sent to Hol. His mission? Why clean it up of course. It's full of crooks, scum and villainy. His former boss figures Fred ought to be kept busy until well after he retires.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Dark Lager	102 and twice as evil	Obsessed with someone named Duke	None (And p****d off about it)	Sprinkles	Be even angrier (if that was possible)

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
5	10	4	7	9	7	The Urge- he can make people think they're dead. (HM's decision as to what that means)

SKILLS	Sudden Philosophical Tangent	Spot / Train Wastit	Seek the Innocent	Make Light Cutlass Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Cauterize Instantly	Ponderous Rhetoric	Make Anything You Say Sound More Important Than the Voice of the Anti-Christ	Withstand / Enjoy / Inflict Hellish Agony	Run With Scizzors	Dramatic Entry
RANK	4	4	6	7	5	7	9	6	5

SKILLS	Intimidating Stare	EQUIPSTUFF
RANK	5	Light Cutlass - 18/4	Cape - AR: 1	Cyborg Body - AR: 6

He was Emperor Rupert's personal bodyguard. Until he accidently killed One of Rupert's nephew's. Dark Lager mistook him for a Neerg trooper. For his years of faithful service, Dark Lager was banished to Hol instead of being executed.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Bob Houseguy	40+	Annoying as H**l	Not in years	Cinnamon	Build coral

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
6	3	7	3	5	3	He can take anything apart. Putting it back together is another story

SKILLS	Repair Toasters and Stuff	Shop, and Everything Else You Failed in High School	Turn Radios Into Howitzers	Pummeling With the Assistance of Tools	Explain Anything	Surrender and Still Look Like a Man
RANK	5	5	6	4	7	7

EQUIPSTUFF
BIG Hammer - 10/3	TV Crew	Infinite Roll of Duct Tape	Tool Belt	Tools for Tool Belt

Bob Houseguy is a man with a mission. He'll make the C.O.W. beautiful, and make a huge profit, no matter what the C.O.W. wants. After destroying six planets, he was tried for vicious gardening and sentenced to Hol. Even though he's in the C.O.W.'s largest garbage dump, he still has his mission to keep him going.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Super Guy	30 and Lookin' great	F****d up beyond all recognition	No hope in H**l	Jelly	Still be Super Guy

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
4	10	5	5	10	7	His appearance causes mayhem the likes of which Hol has never seen

SKILLS	Sudden Philosophical Tangent	Seek the Guilty	Make Someone Stop Living With Your Fist	Flex Dramatically	Comprehension Through Pugilation	Ponderous Rhetoric	Withstand Hellish Agony
5	3	4	3	6	5	3

Dramatic Entry	Intimidating Stare	Running Blindly Into Eternal Damnation Cause You Think You Can Win	EQUIPSTUFF
1	1	10	Side Kick Boy	Long Johns with a large target on the chest	Cape with a large target

After his 5th wife left him, Super Guy was flat broke. He fled to Hol to get away from the IRS, his ex-wives, and the three young ladies involved in the paternity suit. He's been here ever since, fighting crime and making a fool of himself.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Sidekick Boy	13	He wears tights and hangs out with Super Guy	Don't ask	Anything with sugar	Be safe

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
2	4	7	2	10	4	He can disappear before you can say "Get 'im"

Spot Wastit	Turn Radios Into Howitzers	Run Real Fast	Run Real Far	Sneak	EQUIPSTUFF
4	3	6	6	4	Band aids	Blindfold	Bright, Annoying Costume

He is the proverbial nerd. If he would ever get over his idol worship of Super Guy, he might stand a chance of becoming a real person.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Stapleface the Celobrant	Who cares?	F****d up and offering	More than you would think	Anything red	Still tempt mortals

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
5	5	9	2	10	4	He is able to summon chains with hooks from nowhere - AD 10/3

SKILLS	Seek the Guilty	Rulemastery	Make Sharp Things Grab Soft Things That Scream and Explode	Cause Hellish Agony	Make Anything You Say Sound More Important Than the Voice of the Anti-Christ	Withstand / Enjoy Hellish Agony	Dramatic Entrance
6	8	5	5	3	4	10	4

EQUIPSTUFF
S&M Leathers	A large assortment of knives.	A large following of wastits, who seem to worship him?

Stapleface was one of the Premier Princes of H**l (PPOH) when he made the mistake of attending one of Emperor Rupert's costume party. On this particular occasion, Rupert went all out on his costume and was offended that someone else should wear the same one. It didn't matter that Stapleface wasn't wearing a costume. He was bound to a puzzle box and sent to Hol. His business has picked up quite a bit since.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
The Weapons Wench	20 - So round, so firm, so fully packed	Psycho-b***h from H**l	When, where, and how she wants	Too much fat	If you think I'm mad now ...

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
4	3	7	6	7	8 (Don't ask!)	She can pull any weapon out of her purse. It will, of course, be fully loaded.

SKILLS	Turn Radios Into Howitzers	Spot / Train Wastit	Make Someone Stop Living With Your Fist	Make Sharp Things Go Through Soft Things That Scream and Bleed	Pummeling With The Assistance of A Large Object	Arm / Thumb / Tongue / Pelvis Wrestling	Cause Hellish Agony	Scathing (Ooh Big Word) Sarcasm	That Psycho Bruce Lee S**T
RANK	4	4	5	5	3	7	5	6	5

SKILLS	Shootin' Any Kinda Gun	Enjoy Hellish Agony	Run With Scizzors	Tolerate Hideous Amounts of Bloody Mutilation and Still Eat Fast Food	EQUIPSTUFF
RANK	4	10	5	7	Itty, Bitty Purse	Marital Aids (Encountrements of the S&M Kind)

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Fritz the Wonderpuppy	20 and Naive	Incredibly f****d up	Hopeful as H**l	Chocolate	Be embarrassed

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
2	4	3	6	10	0	He is immortal. If killed he gets up in 2-12 rnds. He is unaware of this power. "Really, it just looked bad."

Light Bulb ("Ding")	Sudden Philosophical Tangent (Unintentional)	Whining Until You Get what You Want	Surrender and Still Look Like a Man	Running Blindly Into Eternal Damnation Cause You're Too Stupid to Know Better	Make Someone Stop Living With Your Fist
4	6	6	4	10	3

EQUIPSTUFF
Super Hero Costume	Disguise (Suit with glasses)	Utility Belt (it has any item the player can imagine. On snake eyes, the item blows up.

Fritz desperately wants to be a superhero. After fatally annoying his grandfather, he was sentenced to Hol for the safety of the Universe.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Captain McBaldy	Too old for this s**t	Senile and french	More than believable	French Cruller (of course)	Still be bald

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
2	1	3	2	6	4	Blinding Skull - his bald head is so shiny that he can use it to blind people. Feets roll to avoid looking at it.

SKILLS	Operate Starships and Chew Gum at the Same Time	Languages and Mumbled Slang	Rules Mastery (COW Law)	Flattery a.k.a Political Negotiation	Ponderous Rhetoric	Make Anything You Say Sound More Important Than the Voice of God	Surrender and Still Look Like a Man	Explain Anything	Dramatic Entry
RANK	3	4	6	5	7	3	4	4	2

SKILLS	Imperial Etiquette	Shooting Kinda Small Guns	EQUIPSTUFF
RANK	3	5	COW Uniform - AR: 2	H&K Plasmatic Pistol - A/D: 10/4	The Big Book of COW Rules and Regulations	Cup of Earl Grey Tea

Captain McBaldy, Gene to his friends, was one of the most decorated officers in the COW military. He was even assigned to the flagship of the COW fleet. Unfortuneately for him, he made the mistake of sleeping with Rupert's third cousin's wife. He was immediately re-assigned to HOL to "establish an ordered and lawful society". Thus, poor Gene finds himself trapped on HOL. He spends his days looking for the mysterious "Number One". Many believe him to be the ruler of HOL, others the last survivor of a long dead race. No one knows for sure.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Captain Smiley	Too young for his job	He smiles way too much	Nope and still way too cheerful	Eclairs	Be the best damn mollusk I can

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
2	4	2	3	6	4	Smiling - He will smile at everything in an ingratiating and incredibly annoying manner. Nothing can wipe that smile off his face. NOTHING!!!

SKILLS	Operate Starships and Chew Gum at the Same Time	Languages and Mumbled Slang	Rules Mastery (COW Law)	Flattery a.k.a Political Negotiation	Martyr Fetish	Eat Anything	Surrender and Still Look Like a Man	Explain Anything	Dramatic Entry
RANK	4	4	3	5	5	3	5	4	9

SKILLS	Imperial Etiquette	Shooting Kinda Small Guns	EQUIPSTUFF
RANK	4	5	COW Uniform - AR: 2	H&K Plasmatic Pistol - A/D: 10/4	The Big Book of COW Rules and Regulations	Oranges

Captain Smiley just wants to enjoy his orange. And to learn about himself. Why does he want to know about himself. Who cares? I mean if he doesn't know who he is, how should I know. What do I look like? All I do know is that he is on HOL and has no memory of who he is. Somehow he has survived. And that is all that really needs be said.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Surly McLoon	40 (in this life anyway)	Severe cuckoo complex	Who would touch her?	Any	Enjoy that life too

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
4	1	6	2	3	1	Re-Incarnation - She cannot be permanently killed. She simply becomes someone else, who in a few years (or days) looks the same as always.

SKILLS	Sudden Philosophical Tangent	Languages and Mumbled Slang	Organize Psychic Friends Network	Ponderous Rhetoric	Make Anything You Say Sound More Accurate Than the Predictions of God
RANK	7	4	10	6	5

EQUIPSTUFF
Scones	Tea Set	Smoke Powder	Tea Leaves	Latest Issue of Psychic Times	Crystal Ball	Gyspsy Robes	Tarot Cards	Tea

Surly McLoon can see the future. Past lives too. For a price. After conning the Emporer himself, she found herself on HOL. I guess she didn't see that coming.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
George Burns	Ancient	God complex	Way more than is good for a man his age	Stoagies only.	Still perform

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
5	1	7	2	9	1	Resistance to Aging - he doesn't seem to be adversly effected by aging. He just gets older and older. He just doesn't seem ready to die.

SKILLS	Poetry and Classical Jokes	Organize Fund-Raiser	Cause Hellish Laughter	Ponderous Jokes	Make a Funny	Tolerate Hiseou Amounts of Alcohol and Still Perform
RANK	4	7	6	6	4	10

EQUIPSTUFF
Cigars	Scotch	Bourban	Robes	Ancient Suit	3 Scantily Clad Women

George Burns is an extremely old comic (he's recently celebrated his 3,000th birthday). His jokes are older than he is, which is what got him sent to HOL. Knowledge of the ancient arts of comedy are forbidden. So George tries to entertain the masses of HOL, in between playing god. He seems to have trouble remembering if he is god or just played him in an ancient (and banned) series of movies.

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NAME	OLDNESS	BENT	SEX	DOUGHNUT PREFERENCE	IF I WERE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A MOLLUSK I WOULD
Spork	He's dead, ok?	He's dead, remember?	Not since he died	He doesn't eat, he's dead	He's dead, so he'd still be dead

GREYMATTA	MEAT	MOUTH	FEETS	NUTS	TOTAL ARMOR	SPECIAL ABILITIES
3	8	0	5	10	5	Undeath - He can't be killed as he's already dead. He cannot be killed or even hurt. This makes him immune to anguish. He is also unable to talk due to his "condition".

SKILLS	Seek the Guilty	Make Someone Stop Living With Your Fist	Pummeling With the Assistance of a Large Object	Comprehension Though Pugilation	Cause Hellish Agony	Dramatic Entry	Intimidating stare
RANK	5	7	4	6	3	6	7

EQUIPSTUFF
Costume - Complete with Chains (A/D 10/2) & Spikes (A/D 10/4)

Spork was the most capable agent that the COW had ever seen. He could go through a pack of infidels and unbelievers like a hot knife through Church n Munches patented butter-like flavoring substance. But like all living things, he died. And since he enjoyed his work a bit too much he went to hell. There he met a demon named Malformia. After spending a few centuries hanging with Malformia, he got bored. Malformia struck a deal with the Spork. In exchange for sending him back to HOL, Spork would lead his demon armies. Spork, bored out of his skull agreed. On HOL he met a strange old geezer who convinced him to betray Malformia and become a Champion of Justice. As a Champion of Justice he was free to kill as many people as he wished without worrying about being sent back to hell. So he now he works to rid HOL of the criminal scum (which is just about everybody) in the name of Truth, Justice, and Violence!

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Contents of this page � Blodgett
Hol � Black Dog Game Factory