Subject: The Daily Answers 04/17/98
Date: Mon, 20 Apr 1998 10:55:32 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/17/98
by Dave George
Our new Contestant of the Week is...
MILLIE PERRINE!!!!
Millie has been playing the DQ everyday since it started last Summer.
She not only scores consistently high, but is also always nattily turned
out and well-groomed. Millie works at SAIC in Tysons Corner, Virginia,
and says that she enjoys step aerobics, chile con queso (translation:
"chile with queso") and Cuban cigars.
Congratulations, Millie!!
Today's Big Winners:
SONIA BRIGHT AND THE BODACIOUS BABES OF 2274 (That's their address.
They're not from the future.)
MARK GORMAN
JOHN HERING
SHANE SLEIGHTER
and
MATT YOUNG!!!
These contestants win all the fish me and contestant SEAN KENNEALY
caught this weekend at Nags Head. (Goose egg.)
Way to go!!
1. Name the movie:
"I hate you!"
"I hate you more!! If hate were people I'd be CHINA!!!"
Too hard? OK, here's another quote from the same movie:
"That was a fine Yee-Ha, son."
Correct Answer: "City Slickers"
Another Quote: "Scoop of chocolate, scoop of vanilla. Don't waste my
time." - JONATHAN COLAN
2. Who was The Beatles' spiritual guru?
Best Wrong Answer: "Maharishi Yuharishi Weallharishi" - DAN RIPPEL
Correct Answer: "Maharishi Mahesh Yogi"
3. What horrible instrument became popular in the 60's partly because
of their association with him?
"The Sitar. First introduced into mainstream pop/rock by George
Harrison
on Norweigian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) off the Beatles' Rubber Soul
album. George first heard the sitar when the Beatles brought in some
Indian muscians for scenes in the movie Help! And later George was
introduced to the music of sitar master Ravi Shankar. The two later
became fast friends. If you've enjoyed hearing about this episode in
Beatles history and would like to learn more about the Beatles, you know
where to find me." - JONATHAN COLAN
(Kudos to all of you who answered this one with "The skin flute". It
wouldn't be an instrument question if I didn't get 10 of those.)
4. "Chicken wing", "half-nelson", and "suplex" are types of what?
Correct Answer: "Wrestling moves."
5. In what movie will you find Ruprect the Monkeyboy?
Correct Answer: "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels"
6. What was British prime minister Neville Chamberlain's policy of
letting the Germans roll over its neighbors called?
Correct Answer: "Appeasement"
7. How did Winnie the Pooh try to disguise himself while stealing honey
from the bees?
"He tied a balloon to himself and as he floated near the honey tree he
started
singing, 'I'm just a little black rain cloud.'" - JOHN HERING
Rock on, John.
"Dressed up as Elvis." - MARK GORMAN (Mark, that was the scene where
Winnie tries to steal the bees' peanut butter and bacon sandwiches.)
"I believe he put on wings. Did you ever notice that Winnie NEVER WORE
PANTS! And children love him! Everytime I take my pants off in front
of
children they cry." - SHANE SLEIGHTER (Who else?)
8. What was the name of Judge Wapner's bailiff?
Correct Answer: "Rusty Burrell"
9. What would be the next group of letters in the following series?
aaaa...bdzb...cgac...djzd...?
Correct Answer: "emae"
10. Who was Stanley sent to Africa to look for?
"Mama Cass" - LISA GOLDSCHMIDT
Correct Answer: "Dr. Livingstone" (Stanley is the guy who, after
searching for almost a year, finally finds him and says the famous "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?")
BONUS (Very Difficult): One of Arnold Schwarzenegger's first movies was
1979's "The Villain", in which he played Handsome Stranger. What was
unusual about Handsome's gun? (I swear, if anyone gets this one I will
email him or her a picture of The Quizmaster himself and his pal, actor
Ron Jeremy.)
Well, I honestly didn't think anyone would get this, but STEVE STEGER
and SHANE SLEIGHTER did. The correct answer is "It was a seven-shot
six-shooter."
Congratulations, once again, to our Big Winners!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/20/98
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 09:13:20 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/20/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MILLIE PERRINE *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
ROBIN CERMAK (and her pals HEATHER and DIANE.)
LISA FLINT
MATT GEORGE (My little bro here should win a special award for answering
almost every question with a quote from the movie. Matt, you may have
your pick of the women on the DQ. Attaboy, tiger.)
AL HERING
ANA KEEFE
MEREDITH LINBERGER
BASIL MAKHARITA
VICTORIA PETERSEN
JASON PODGORSKI
MIKE ROLFES
KARI ROSSI
MIKE WAITE
and
MATT YOUNG
Wow! A lot of you knew an awful lot about this movie.
These contestants win a "Where's Charlie?" T-shirt, commemorating the
hysterical tornado video shown on CNN this weekend.
Way to go!!
1. What kind of car was the time machine?
"You made a time machine...out of a Daloreon?!"
"I say, if you're gunna build a time machine then why not do it in
style!" - MATT GEORGE
DQ FunFact: In 1980's "Beautiful Baby, Beautiful", an HBO documentary
about supermodels, they are interviewing model Christina Ferrare when
her husband walks in their apartment and appears briefly on camera. She
says "That was John, anyway." John DeLorean. A few of you pointed out
that the next time we saw him on camera was in the DEA's surveillance
video, which showed him supposedly negotiating a cocaine deal in order
to get his car company out of trouble. (He was eventually found not
guilty.)
2. How much power did the flux capacitor require?
"1.21 Gigawatts?!! 1.21 Gigawatts?!! Great Scott!"
"What the hell is a Gigawatt?!" - MATT GEORGE
(He pronounces the word "Jigawatts", and academics have long argued
whether he is refering to a fictitious unit of measurement, or
mispronouncing "Gigawatt", a real word.)
3. When Marty auditioned for the battle of the bands, what rocker was
among the panel of judges?
Oy, how quickly we forget. About half of you remembered that it was
Huey Lewis.
4. What's the name of the dance where Marty's parents kiss for the
first time?
"...and you fell in love at the Fish under the Sea dance."
"No, no...It was the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance." - MATT GEORGE
Note to CRAIG STACEY: "Excitement under my pants" was their prom theme.
5. When George, coached by Marty, approached Lorraine in the soda shop
to profess his love, what was his flubbed opening line?
"Your clothes must be made of Windex, because I can see myself in your
pants." - HARRIS KAY
Correct Answer: "I am your density...I mean, your destiny."
6. What does Lorraine think Marty's name is at first?
"Rosenpenis" - CHRIS BLILEY (+1, Fletch reference.)
Correct Answer: "Calvin Klein...it's written all over your underwear."
- MATT GEORGE
"My favorite line is when Marty asks Lorraine where his pants are
and she replies, 'Over there, on my hope chest...'" - SUE PRIFOGLE
7. How does the name of the mall change over the course of the movie?
It starts out at "Twin Pines Mall", but when Marty goes back in time and
runs over one of the pines on the site of the future mall it becomes
"Lone Pine Mall".
8. What major event set in motion the events which would have prevented
Marty's parents from meeting? (In other words, why did Lorraine fall
for Marty and not George?)
A few of you said something about George punching Biff. That's way
wrong. But I'm not mad at you, I want to be sure you understand that.
Your mother and I just feel that you're not applying yourself. You must
read the questions more carefully.
Correct Answer: "Lorraine's dad hit Marty with his car, instead of
George."
"What were you doing in that tree, George? Bird watching?"
"What Lorraine? What?" - MATT GEORGE
(This took me a moment to recall, but it's such a funny scene in the
beginning of the movie with the whole family sitting around the dinner
table. ELISSA JACKSON commented on what a freak Crispin Glover is.
Crispin, of course, played George McFly. He really got a reputation as
a weirdo when he freaked out on Letterman back in the 80's. Remember
that? He was talking about how tough he was and he was showing Dave his
muscles, saying "Because I'm STRONG! And I can KICK!" And he let fly
with a karate kick that missed Dave's face by mere inches. Crispin is
now working on a film that has a cast comprised only of people with
Down's Syndrome.)
9. Name three ways the McFly family's life improved because of Marty's
time travel?
OK, everyone got these, and I don't really have time to put them all
here.
10. If you could put an object into a sealed "time capsule" to show
people of the future what life in the 20th century was like, what would
it be?
"Disco ball" - JONATHAN COLAN
"Shane Sleighter" - KARL ROTHMAN
"My time card." - LINDA HERING
"A Hostess Twinkie....just to see what the shelf life really is." - MIKE
ROLFES
"Another smaller time capsule, which would contain another smaller time
capsule..." - BASIL MAKHARITA
Then there were those who just wanted to get rid of something forever:
"My work pager." - ANA KEEFE
"My enemies. All of them." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
"Assuming once we put them in they couldn't get out? The Spice Girls,
Hanson, & Puff Daddy." - ROB BUCKANAVAGE
"Would it be sealed airtight and soundproofed? If so, Celine Dion." -
DON SWAIN
"I think Miss Massachusetts (now Miss America) accurately reflected my
choices when she answered this question at the finals of the 1998 Miss
America pageant by stating that she would put:
a CD-ROM
a family photo album
and her flannel sheets" - MELISSA SINUNU and ROBIN CERMAK
...and the correct answer? "An archive of the DQ." - ELISSA JACKSON and
LISA FLINT
Rock on, ELISSA and LISA! That's absolutely correct!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/21/98
Date: Wed, 22 Apr 1998 07:59:16 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/21/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MILLIE PERRINE *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
ROBIN CERMAK
TRIP MORANO
KARI ROSSI
PAUL SCHISHLER
Did you know that we have lots of celebrities on the Daily Quiz? It's
true. We have ADAM CURRY, the former MTV veejay and current Chief
Technology Officer of THINK New Ideas, Inc. We also have BYRON KERR,
WTOP's sports anchor, former PA announcer for the Bullets, current PA
announcer for DC United, and future voice of Dave George in "DQ, the
Animated Series". I think that's all.
Oh, and we also have SHANE SLEIGHTER.
1. Name the movie:
"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K."
Correct Answer: "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"
2. What is the name of the cloth artifact which was supposedly wrapped
around Jesus?
Correct Answer: "Shroud of Turin"
3. Name the two largest manufacturers of BB guns.
Correct Answer: "Daisy and Crossman"
4. What Japanese City is an anagram of "Tokyo"?
Quite a few people said "Oykot". Oykot, of course, is a city in
Colorado.
Correct Answer: "Kyoto".
5. In what country do they speak Tagalog?
Correct Answer: "The Phillipines"
EXCELLENT Answer: "People who speak Tagalog as their primary language
have a
difficult time pronouncing words including the sound of the letter
"F." Typically, they use a "P" sound instead. For instance, in
English they refer to their homeland as "the Pilipines." They
speak
on telepones, tell punny stories, and eat fried chicken with their
pingers. When I spent six months on a Navy ship a few years back
we
had an officer named Red Phipps, and the enlisted filipinos (yes,
that's how it's spelled -- probably to avoid confusion related to
pronunciation) referred to him as Mr. Pipps. I used to get the
biggest kick out of that -- still do, now that I think of it." -
SCOTT DAY
6. What was Bobby McFerrin's big advice back in 1988?
7. What's the name of the great big sail which is hoisted when a boat
is running with the wind?
8. What Virginia city is the only one to have an infectious filovirus
named after it?
9. In "Raiders of the Lost Ark", how did Indy's friend know that the
grapes had been poisoned?
10. Name three rules, any rules, from "The Price is Right".
Mercy, I had no idea there were so many rules. Here are just a few of
the most popular rules submitted:
- Closest bid without going over wins.
- If you get within $100 of your showcase, you win both showcases.
- You have to bet at least $1.
- Bidding exacly right gets you a hundred bucks.
- (There were tons of tube top rules.)
"Kindly, confine all projectile vomiting to the complimentary game show
illness bag in the seat back in front of you" - SCOTT BAGER
"Bob Barker always sinks his putt." - LISA GOLDSCHMIDT (Lisa, you ARE
talking about the golf game, aren't you?)
"You may not charge your expenses to the Underhill's bill." - PAUL
SCHISHLER
"You must ooo and aah over the ugly living room furniture." - ELISSA
JACKSON
...and finally,
"Never let them see you sweat." - ANGELICA PENA VAUGHN
There were tons more, but I've got to go sleepy-sleep soon. (Before my
boss gets back from his meeting.)
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/21/98
Date: Wed, 22 Apr 1998 10:06:13 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/21/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MILLIE PERRINE *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
SCOTT BAGER
ROBIN CERMAK
NATASHA FILIPOVIC
ANA KEEFE
TRIP MORANO
KARI ROSSI
and
PAUL SCHISHLER
These contestants will receive...
A NEW CAR!!!!
Way to go!
1. Name the movie:
"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K."
Correct Answer: "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"
Raise your hand if you've met Keanu! MEGHAN DOTTER has. She met him
after a Dogstar concert in San Diego. The QuizMaster has. He worked
out in my gym in L.A. (Come se dice en Espanol, "hunk"?) And GEORGE
PATCH has. They shared a room together in rehab.
Rock on!
2. What is the name of the cloth artifact which was supposedly wrapped
around Jesus?
Correct Answer: "Shroud of Turin"
3. Name the two largest manufacturers of BB guns.
Correct Answer: "Daisy and Crossman"
4. What Japanese City is an anagram of "Tokyo"?
Quite a few people said "Oykot". Oykot, of course, is a city in
Colorado.
Correct Answer: "Kyoto".
5. In what country do they speak Tagalog?
Correct Answer: "The Phillipines"
EXCELLENT Answer: "People who speak Tagalog as their primary language
have a difficult time pronouncing words including the sound of the
letter "F." Typically, they use a "P" sound instead. For instance, in
English they refer to their homeland as "the Pilipines." They speak on
telepones, tell punny stories, and eat fried chicken with their
pingers. When I spent six months on a Navy ship a few years back
we had an officer named Red Phipps, and the enlisted filipinos (yes,
that's how it's spelled -- probably to avoid confusion related to
pronunciation) referred to him as Mr. Pipps. I used to get the biggest
kick out of that -- still do, now that I think of it." - SCOTT DAY
6. What was Bobby McFerrin's big advice back in 1988?
"Don't worry, date Elizabeth Shue." - CABE FRANKLIN (Close enough.)
Correct Answer: "Don't Worry, Be Happy."
7. What's the name of the great big sail which is hoisted when a boat
is running with the wind?
Correct Answer: "Spinnaker" (Not too many people got this.)
"Before raiding the mainsail you must hank the gooseneck." - BASIL
MAKHARITA
8. What Virginia city is the only one to have an infectious filovirus
named after it?
Correct Answer: "Reston, VA" (Where a new strain of Ebola was
discovered in a monkey quarrantine center. The strain turned out to
only be harmful to monkeys, but for some reason they had a very hard
time finding someone to take over the lease on that building and it was
eventually torn down.)
9. In "Raiders of the Lost Ark", how did Indy's friend know that the
grapes had been poisoned?
Look, maybe they were dates in the movie, but in the BOOK they were
grapes. OK, I lied. I don't think there was a book. If there was one
I never read it. But I am reading "Plum Island" by Nelson DeMille
(thanks Lisa!) and they talk about grapes a lot in it. But all this
doesn't change the fact that that poor little monkey is dead. Yes, it
was slightly evil, but only because of his evil owner.
10. Name three rules, any rules, from "The Price is Right".
Mercy, I had no idea there were so many rules. Here are just a few of
the most popular rules submitted:
- Closest bid without going over wins.
- If you get within $100 of your showcase, you win both showcases.
- You have to bet at least $1.
- Bidding exacly right gets you a hundred bucks.
- (There were tons of tube top rules.)
"Kindly, confine all projectile vomiting to the complimentary game show
illness bag in the seat back in front of you" - SCOTT BAGER
"Bob Barker always sinks his putt." - LISA GOLDSCHMIDT (Lisa, you ARE
talking about the golf game, aren't you?)
"You may not charge your expenses to the Underhill's bill." - PAUL
SCHISHLER
"You must ooo and aah over the ugly living room furniture." - ELISSA
JACKSON
...and finally,
"Never let them see you sweat." - ANGELICA PENA VAUGHN
There were tons more, but I've got to go sleepy-sleep soon. (Before my
boss gets back from his meeting.)
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/22/98
Date: Fri, 24 Apr 1998 10:30:36 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/22/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MILLIE PERRINE *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
SCOTT BAGER
CHRISTINE CHALLAS
JONATHAN COLAN
KOREN GOUTOS
TRIP KIRKPATRICK
AMY MACPHERSON
and
MELISSA SINUNU!
These contestants will receive my custom-made "Melrose Place" spare tire
cover.
Way to go!!
1. In "Splash", how does Professor Kornbluth finally reveal Madison for
the mermaid she is?
(Many of you said that he threw a bucket of water on her at a formal
dinner. He did do this, but the woman turned out not to be Madison, the
mermaid.)
Correct Answer: "He sprays her with a hose outside of a hotel. He has
it rigged to his back, making him sort of look like a hunchback." -
COLBY TREXLER
Could not accept:
"Lifted up her skirt." - A few of you.
"He put an ad in the paper which read that he would give $100 million to
a real mermaid. We she came to collect he nabbed her." - MATT GEORGE
2. What character from 90210 appeared in the first Melrose episode?
"Buck Henry, the baby sitting uncle who'd always come prepared with a
Polaroid." - SCOTT BAGER
Correct Answer: "Kelly (Jenny Garth)"
3. In "Trading Places", Randolph and Mortimer Duke attempt to illegally
corner what commodity's market?
Correct Answer: "Frozen Orange Juice."
(A lot of people said "Pork bellies", but these were traded very early
in the movie.)
4. Name three guys Amanda has slept with. (And when I say "sleep", I
mean "(wink, wink) sleep".)
Now, for the record, I don't watch either of these shows, but you can
anticipate more questions about them in the future, because so many of
you dudes out there bitched about it. Remember the whole "figure
skating" series of questions we had? Same thing.
So, who did Amanda sleep with? A definitive list has never been
compiled, but if you named three of the following lucky fellas then you
got credit:
Kyle
Peter
Jake
Billy
Michael
Antonio Sabato, Jr.
"Special guests, Bob Denver, Sherman Hemsley and Vic Tayback." - SCOTT
BAGER
5. What's a company's PE Ratio?
Correct Answer: "Price to Earnings Ratio." GEORGE PATCH explains:
"Price per share / Earnings per share Basically a ration telling us
the amount invertors are willing to pay for those earnings. This ratio
generally varies by company and industry. For example high tech
companies generally have high PEs because of the industries faster/
explosive growth rate while utilities have a moderate PE because of a
slow but stable growth, and finally a chemical company may have a low PE
because of very slow and unstable growth. A company needs to be
profitable for the past year to have a PE Ratio."
6. Why did Dylan's wife get killed?
"Because she went out in his jacket and baseball cap in the rain and got
shot. You see, her dad was trying to whack Dylan but what with all the
rain and the dark and the mistaken apparel confusion, who could really
blame the poor hitman for such a grievous error. But in fairness to the
mobsters, ultimately, it's the fault of whoever gave them the stupid
kitten, who ran off and got lost, causing Dylan to stay behind and
search for it while his new toothpick of a bride drove to her death,
thinking she was going to her daddy's office to pick up a (non-existent)
wedding gift. Unless you count bullets as wedding gifts. Then that
part isn't exactly accurate. Also, so he could leave the show in a
brooding, mourning kind of way, wandering the land -- and maybe, if
we're all real lucky, he'll come back one day, perhaps for the show's
series finale. Cross your fingers..." - ANGIE BURKE (Rock on, Angie!)
WILLIAM WALLACE, seemingly apropos of nothing, this Homer Simpson
quote: "Alcoholics are funny." Indeed they are, young William, indeed
they are.
7. What is Ireland's national airline?
Correct Answer "Aer Lingus" (tee-hee-hee snicker-snicker snort)
8. Who guest-starred as Amanda's father's girlfriend?
Correct Answer: "Kathy Ireland." Dig the clue above?
9. Who fled Nazi Germany as a boy and eventually became Secretary of
State of the United States? (Extra Credit if you can remember his
famous quote regarding sex.)
The man is Henry Kissinger.
The quote was "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."
Here's who got the quote:
JONATHAN COLAN
and
TRIP KIRKPATRICK
Wow, that's it? If I missed yours, lemme know.
Some of you were sooooo close:
"What do I get for $20.00?" - TONY PUGLIESE
"Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks" - ELISSA JACKSON
"If you're not going all the way why go at all?" - ROBIN CERMAK
"Sex is natural, sex is good. Not everybody does it, but everybody
should." - JERRY HELISEK
"Sex is best when it's one on one." - JON DAVID
...and finally, a quote sent in by loyal contestant JENNIFER KOSS, which
she claims is an actual Kissinger quote:
"For me, women are only a diversion, a hobby."
Frankly, I thought that this was a quote by contestant SCOTT DAY, but
then I remembered that he said "For me, crack is only a diversion, a
hobby."
10. What two characters on 90210 dated in real life?
"Tori and Aaron Spelling." - SCOTT BAGER (Now, see here, this sumbich
didn't know a GOT-damn answer, but he gave it his best go'round. That
makes a winner in my book.)
Correct Answer: "David and Valerie--that's why she (Tiffany Amber
Thiessen) got the part, right before she got all fat. They wanted to
give it to Jill Novak, but Brian Austen Green threatened to quit. Later,
Jill got the part of that smart and sassy little newspaper chick who
Brandon dated--I forgot her name--you know, the one they run into in
Hawaii and she's engaged and Kelly makes a fool of herself, a few
minutes before she gets shot."
Did anyone see Tiffany (and her two friends, the Pointer sisters) on
Leno the night this quiz came out? This is a recurring phenomenon of
the Daily Quiz. I ask a question about something or someone, and then
that person or thing is in the news. A few examples:
- The day after I asked a Thalidomide question it was announced that
doctors were going to start prescribing it again.
- The week we discussed Falco's being a one-hit-wonder he dies.
- The *DAY* I ask a Chris Farley question he also kicks the oxygen
habit.
I gotta start asking more Spice Girls questions.
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/24/98
Date: Mon, 27 Apr 1998 10:09:10 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/24/98
by Dave George
Our new Contestant of the Week is...
CHRISTY CHALLAS!!!!
Christy is an attorney, a well-travelled attorney. She has climbed to
the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, and hiked to Machu Picchu. When she was
twelve, she was arrested for breaking into Menudo's hotel room in
Caracas, and once beat the snot out of a roadie at an Allman Brothers
concert.
OK, I made up those last two things. But Christy is definitely one of
our more prolific winners, and a darn nice gal. She is contestant LAURA
COLOMBELL's roommate and is S-I-N-G-L-E. Be sure to introduce yourself
to her at the upcoming DQ Happy Hour. (Details are forthcoming.)
Rock on, CHRISTY!!
Today's Big Winners:
EUGENE CAMPBELL
ROBIN CERMAK (Robin's on a roll, kids.)
JON DAVID
BASIL MAKHARITA
JEFF MARCIANO
ALBERT OSTROWSKI
GEORGE PATCH
MIKE ROLFES
BRIAN SARMAN
and
MATT YOUNG!
These contestants win the soon-to-be-retired license plates from my old
Toyota Supra. They read "TGIDAVE". I initially got them on a dare from
JOHN HERING, but soon tired of them. Rather than exchange them, I
changed their meaning. When people said "T-G-I Dave??" I'd say "Oh, I
know. It looks like that, doesn't it? No, actually it's "Teegadavay",
which is the Swahili word for 'peace'". It isn't really, at least I
don't think it is, but people seemed to buy it. And now they are yours.
Way to go!
1. Baby, Scary, Sporty, Posh and Ginger are better known as who?
"The A-Team" - CHRIS BLILEY
"The Five Crack Ho's of the Apocolypse." - JONATHAN COLAN (Close enough
for me.)
Correct Answer: "The Spice Girls"
"I'd do 'em." - JOEL PFYFFER (+1 for honesty)
"I heard that Ginger was going to be naked in Playboy next month." -
MELISSA SINUNU (Too bad she doesn't mean Tina Louise.)
2. What term was coined when, after the sinking of the USS Maine,
newspapers printed sensationalist stories, driving public opinion toward
war with Spain?
"Spain Sucks!" - MELISSA BOWEN
"You sank my battleship!" - JIM GILKESON
"Sink the Bismark!" - PAT GEORGE
"Remember the Alamo!" - MIKE MEDFORD
"Remember the Maine!" - Lots of you.
"My Name is The United States of America, you sunk my ship... Prepare
to die." - ANGIE MARCIANO
Correct Answer: "Yellow Journalism" (I guess I have to also give
credit for "Remember the Maine!", cuz that came out of this episode, as
well.
3. Who was George Jetson's boss?
A lot of you said "Jane, his wife." (Unless you are PAUL SCHISHLER and
said "June, his wife.")
The correct answer is "Mr. Spacely, of Spacely Sprockets."
Many of you also threw in that their competition was Cogswell Cogs. You
got no points for this, but CHRISTY CHALLAS did, and she didn't even put
that. Hey, those are the perks of being COW.
4. Besides the obvious, what's the key ingredient in an Irish coffee?
Correct Answer: "Irish Whiskey"
ANGIE MARCIANO notes that contestant SCOTT DAY's dad makes a mean Irish
coffee. The QuizMaster remembers this well, but he also remembers that
trying to wrestle one away from Mr. Day was a mean task in and of
itself.
"I learned recently that the word whiskey comes from a Gaelic word
meaning water of life; hoo-boy, it sure is!" - TRIP KIRKPATRICK
5. Which US President worked for Admiral Rickover?
Correct Answer: Jimmy Carter. This question was not as hard as it
seemed. If you knew that Hyman Rickover was the "Father of the Nuclear
Navy", then all you had to do was remember which US President was in the
Navy around that time. JFK was, but he got out after WWII. So did
Bush. That left Jimmy.
6. "Fat Boy", "Dyna Wide Glide", "Softtail", and "Sportster" are types
of what?
Best Wrong Answer: "synonyms for the word 'erection'." - SCOTT DAY
Correct Answer: "Harley-Davidson motorcycles."
7. What's the name of the landmark that Richard Dreyfuss is obsessed
with in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"?
Correct Answer: "Devil's Tower"
Most Popular Wrong Answer: "World's Largest Ball of Twine."
8. What New York professional soccer team did Pele play for?
"clap-clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap-clap, COSMOS!!!" - PJ HENRY
9. Two-parter: When the U.S. bombed Libya in 1986, what "allied"
nation denied our fighters clearance to fly over its country during the
mission? How did we (hee-hee) "get back" at them?
BASIL MAKHARITA has a pretty good recollection of the events:
"France. We *accidentally* (wink, wink) dropped a bomb on their embassy
in Libya."
By far, the most popular answer to the second part of the question was:
"Jerry Lewis"
A close second was:
"EuroDisney"
10. A force acting on an object, causing it to twist is called what?
Quite a few of you said "torsion". I always thought torsion is the
actual twisting that results from torque. I'm sure I'll hear from some
of you engineer-types. Until then, I'll accept both "torsion" and
"torque". (Torque is the better answer, though, cuz Marisa Tomei says
it in "My Cousin Vinny".) (And by the way, could they show this movie
more??)
BONUS: Sing for us, if you will, the song Woody sang at the piano for
his girlfriend, Kelly, on "Cheers".
"There. I sang it." CHRIS DESANTIS
Ya know, it has been brought to my attention that we haven't had a DQ
Suspension around here in a long, long time. Well, fret no longer, dear
contestant, cuz CHRIS DESANTIS is officially Suspended!!! Chris, for
that smartass answer we are sending you to the showers for one--no, TWO
days. I know this doesn't seem like all that bad an infraction, but you
gotta know Chris.
For those of you new to the Daily Quiz, and there are quite a few of
you, suspensions are handed out for any of a number of transgressions
against the DQ, the contestants, or the QuizMaster himself. (Mostly the
QuizMaster, though.) I would list what these suspendable offenses are,
but I don't really know. Do you guys remember that chick we suspended
for, like, SIX months for sending crap to the entire distro list??
Hoo! That was funny!
I never did remember to put her back on. Ah well.
NOTE: CHRIS MENARD was almost suspended for saying that soccer is for
wimps, but then he sang Coach's geography song and redeemed himself.
Here it is:
(Sung to the tune of "When the Saints Go Marching In".
"Albania. Albania.
You boarder on the Adriatic,
and your major corp is Kale."
By a wacky coincidence, JENNIFER KOSS also submitted Coach's song.
BRIAN SARMAN included this little ditty, which, while incorrect, is darn
catchy:
"I love pot,
I love Hemp,
I want a post smoking president,
so I'll vote democrat,
and not Jack Kemp"
An awful lot of you got this one, but MARK SCHMIDT somehow (could this
really be on the web?) got the whole thing:
"Kelly, my darling, you are my sunshine,When we're together I feel fine.
Your smile is so lovely, your hair is so clean,
you make me feel that the whole world is mine.
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
Kelly, Kelly,
K - E - L - L - Y, Why? Because you're:
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly of mine.
Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine."
Congratulations once again to our Big Winners!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/27/98
Date: Tue, 28 Apr 1998 09:53:36 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/27/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* CHRISTY CHALLAS!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
SCOTT AGEE
SARA BRADLEY
SCOTT DAY
MEREDITH LINBERGER
JENN MCCORMICK
VINCENT PETERS
JOEL PFYFFER
MELISSA SINUNU
CRAIG STACEY
and
PETE WILLSEY!! (A *stunning* come-from-behind victory for PETE, I must
say!!)
These contestants win a case of new Lay's WOW! Potato Chips. And a pack
of matches. You'll find out what the WOW! is all about.
Way to go!!
Note: VP in Charge of Drinky-Drinky, SHANE SLEIGHTER, is planning the
big DQ Happy Hour! Stay tuned for details.
1. Name some of the side effects of the new fat substitute Olean.
Acceptable Answers:
- Anal Seepage
- Cramping
- Flatulence
- Loose bowels
- Low vitamin absorption
Basically, these are the same side effects you get if you eat anything
at all and your name is "ALLAN HERING".
"My boyfriend, JAMES FLINT, screaming from the bathroom, 'These pipes
are clean!'" - KOREN GOUTOS
"I can tell you that all this talk of side effects is baloney. I just
ate a big bag of those chips for lunch, and I have not experienced a
singl--umm, berightback" - JON DAVID
"The runs (which isn't much different from how I am now-- so BRING IT
ON!)" - JOEL PFYFFER
"elephantitis of the nuts
premature balding
swollen lymph glands
coughing
sniffling
sneezing
aching
stuffy head
...and boils" - TRIP KIRKPATRICK
DEBORAH DENHAM says "The Olean Doritos are worth it"
Amen, sister.
JENNIFER KOSS, who ought to work for the company's marketing dept. says,
"All the taste, fat free, and loose stool - who could ask for more!"
2. What's the name of the top secret military installation where alien
remains are supposedly kept?
Correct Answer: "Area 51 - Nevada - Now I have to kill you." - JOEL
PFYFFER
"...which, in an earlier version of the Macintosh operating system was
correctly identified in the map control panel. You just needed to click
the
right spot on the map." - GEORGE PATCH
I did not know that, George.
An even neater function would be a map that could disclose the secret
location where they are holding people who use Macs.
Also Accepted: "Area 50's Madcapped Neighbor."
3. What is the federal equivalent of an Assistant D.A.?
"Deputy undersecretary for brown-nosing." - KATE KIRKPATRICK
Ooh, Kate! Let's hope you never come up on federal narcotics charges!
Cuz we got us a new Assistant United States Attorney right here among
us. LAURA COLOMBELL credits the Daily Quiz with helping her land this
position. (In the interview she was asked who "The Jefferson's" maid
was.)
Note to SHARON PRESLEY: That would be "yes".
4. In what Disney movie does a lawyer turn into a dog?
"The Shaggy D.A."
5. What's the tallest mountain in Africa?
Correct Answer: "Mt. Kilimanjaro"
6. New Feature! I will make up a quote from a real movie. You name
the movie.
"Oh, sweet Jesus! We gotta kill these here lions right quick!"
"Man, you ain't kidding! The bridge must get built!!"
The movie I was going for was "The Ghost and the Darkness".
Many of you said "Bridge On the River Kwai".
I'm afraid I couldn't accept this.
HOWEVER! This week's COW, CHRISTY CHALLAS, came through in true COW
from with "Volunteers". Brilliant, CHRISTY! This was an answer I had
not thought of. The movie centered around the building of a bridge, AND
there was a tiger in the story. (Lions, tigers, whatever. She's the
COW.)
7. What is a "fighting chair" used for?
"Lion Taming" - Bunch of ya
"Giving birth" - ELISSA JACKSON
"It's what Siamese fighting fish rest on between rounds." - STEVE STEGER
Correct Answer: "Reeling in big fish in a boat -- keeps you from getting
your drunk ass pulled overboard. By the way, I pulled in a 10 lb
largemouth on Saturday fishin' with Morano at his place in Buckingham."
(That would be TRIP MORANO. Talk about largemouths. Trip is also the
only guy I know to shoot his roommate's boom box with a shotgun.)
8. How did Samuel Clemens arrive at his nom de plume?
"Sam's friend, Mark, was standing on the tracks when his mother, who had
a
speach impediment, yelled to him to alert him of an oncoming locomotive.
It was too late. Bystanders thought she was yelling at young
Samuel....the
name stuck." - MIKE ROLFES
This is certainly the popular myth.
"On steamboats they would
lower a rope with a weight attached down to the bottom of the sea. When
it
hit bottom (or they ran out of rope, I don't remember) they would yell
"Mark Twain" to tell Samuel to get the hell over here and scrub the
deck.
They thought his name was Mark Twain. No one knows why but it stuck
ever
since." - PAT GEORGE
Factually, the name comes from the old steamboat procedure of having a
crewman lower a weighted line in order to gauge the depth of the river.
(Based on marks on the line. Each a fathom, or six feet, apart.) They
would tell the captain the depth by yelling "mark three!", or whatever
the depth was. "Twain" means "two". He picked "Mark Twain" because
"Mark Four" is kinda dumb sounding.
Only about 5 of you got this one.
BRIAN FOSTER lost a point for some long-ass answer that had to do with
Haley's comet or something, I don't know, I didn't really read it all.
9. Describe the man from whom Men at Work bought bread in "Down Under".
Correct Answer: "He was roughly 6'4" and heavily muscled."
10. What 13th century document's name meant "Great Charter"?
Correct Answer: "Magna Charta". Darn near all y'all got this one.
Congratulations once again to our Big Winners!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/28/98
Date: Wed, 29 Apr 1998 10:49:06 -0400
The Daily Quiz
04/28/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* CHRISTY CHALLAS!! *
* *
**************************
CORRECTION: In yesterday's answer to the "Fighting Chair" question.
The quote about catching a ten pound largemouth should have been
attributed to STEVE BOSWELL. Sorry, Steve!!
NOTE: I had some major technical difficulties last night (the function
key on my laptop was sticking) and I was unable to compile many of your
answers. So, if you finally, after numerous attempts, submitted a
perfect quiz and I wasn't able to give you credit...well, that's kinda
funny isn't it?
Today's Big Winners:
JONATHAN COLAN
JAMES FLINT
LISA GOLDSCHMIDT
BYRON KERR
DAVE MARIA
and
ANGELICA PENA VAUGHN!
Many of you may recognize Big Winner BYRON KERR as WTOP's sports guy and
the voice of DC United! Rock on, Byron!
Today's winners will receive a bootleg copy of a recording of last
year's MLS championship game where BYRON KERR misses the "Off" button on
the PA system and says "Eddie Pope goes in for Harkes. (Hey, Susan, can
you find my Tucks? My ass is killin--oh, sweet Jesus.)"
Way to go!!
1. In Gremlins, what were the things they were instructed not to do
with Gizmo?
Correct Answers:
"Never get him wet."
"Don't place him in bright light."
"Never feed him after midnight."
"This is a really stupid rule. First, time zones-- if its 12:05 am
Eastern but you can make it to the Central zone in 40 minutes, do you
get 15 minutes to feed him? And second, its _always_ after midnight." -
BRIAN FOSTER
"Never give them access to kitchen appliances without supervision." -
GARY CLARK
"Towel-dry him after swimming laps, freeze him past his expiration date,
and make sure he doesn't watch Springer." - JAMES FLINT
2. What country is called "The roof of the world"?
"I dunno, but Mexico is the crawl-space." - JAMES FLINT
"You've stumped me, but I just hope it doesn't leak on us, 'cause that
would be gross." - JONATHAN COLAN
Correct Answer: "Tibet"
3. What's the name of the President's helicopter?
MELISSA BOWEN seems to know what she's talking about:
"MARINE ONE = PRESIDENT'S HELICOPTER (also known as Nighthawk by the
Secret Service)
MARINE TWO = VICE PRESIDENT'S HELICOPTER (also known as Patroller by
the Secret Service)
The Secret Service also calls the the president's limo 'the
stagecoach' and the Vice President's office the 'tool room'."
Seems to me the SS would change the codenames frequently, but I do know
that Marine One is right.
Somebody said that it would still be called "Air Force One", since any
plane the president is on is called that. Actually, and JOHN BRENCE,
help me out here, a helicopter is not a plane. Dig, there are two basic
kinds of aircraft: "Fixed wing" (airplanes) and "Rotary wing"
(helicopters). Both utilize the same basic principles of flight. (Lift,
generated by an airfoil.) Airplanes creat lift by moving air over their
wings through forward motion, while helicopters do it by rotation to the
same effect.
I'm reasonably sure this is right, as I read it in 1989 in W.E.B.
Griffin's "The Aviators", part of his "Brotherhood of War" series of
novels. If you dig on this kind of stuff, and you are CERTAIN that
there is nothing good on TV, check it out at your local library. (Like
any of us know where THAT is. I can tell my cousins in Ohio which
Blockbuster is closest to their house, but I've yet to locate my local
library.) Boo-hoo-hoo, oh well, let's talk Oscars!
4. Who refused an Academy Award to protest the treatment of American
Indians?
Correct Answer: "Marlon Brando" (1972's Best Actor for playing Vito
Corleone in "The Godfather".)
File Under "I did not know that": "Marlon Brando, who sent an alleged
native american woman to refuse
on his behalf, but it turned out she was an actress who merely assumed
the role of a native american woman for this purpose." - JONATHAN COLAN
5. What document gave Brittain's support for the establishment of
Palestine?
Yes, I misspelled "Britain". Luckily, none of you dared correct
me--DOH! JOEL PFYFFER did!! See ya, Joel! That's an automatic one day
suspension!
Correct Answer: "The Balfour Declaration".
6. Name the movie:
"I was thinking later you could kiss me on the veranda."
"The lips would be fine."
Too hard? OK, here's another from the same movie:
"Which one do you like?"
"I like the one that is not so smart."
"Uh, which one is that?"
Correct Answer: "The Three Amigos"
Incorrect Answer: "Ghandi" - JONATHAN COLAN
7. Where in the world was Matt Lauer today?
"Wetting his Gizmo." - JP XENAKIS
Correct Answer: "Venice, Italy." (They make excellent blinds.)
Today he is in Athens, Greece. Many of you commented on the sexual
orientation of Mr. Lauer. Frankly, I feel that this is an inappropriate
topic in a mature forum. However, it's perfectly fair game here on the
DQ. So, the QuizMaster's opinion? Not gay. However, not being gay
myself, I am not prepared to say for certain. I *am* losing my hair,
though, and can tell you that Matt is, too.
8. Where will you find Muscle Beach?
Correct Answer: "Venice Beach, CA! I hang out there ALL the time!!" -
MIKE MORRIS
"90% of the guys there are gay." - ELISSA JACKSON
Oops!
9. What is the name given to the phenomenon caused by a nuclear blast
which disables anything electronic?
Correct Answer: "EMP (Electromagnetic Pulse)"
10. On "BJ and the Bear", what was Bear?
Correct Answer: "Bear was a chimpanzee. That was back in the day when
Greg Evigan was cool. He
lost a lot of coolness when he went on to play one of the Two Dads
alongside
Paul Reiser. His coolness dropped to an all time low when he spent
several
weeks on Melrose Place. Not only was he on this show, but he played the
gay
doctor who gave Matt the business for a while. Of course, I have never
seen MP-
some really hot chick was telling me about this..." - DAVE MARIA
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/29/98
Date: Thu, 30 Apr 1998 11:02:25 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/29/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* CHRISTY CHALLAS!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
JOHN BRENCE
ROBIN CERMAK
PAT GEORGE
ANDREA IMPARATO
BASIL MAKHARITA
SCOTT MELL
and
MATT YOUNG!
These contestants will each receive a new Single Action, .45 ACP Smith &
Wesson revolver.
Way to go!
1. Name three of the beaches that served as landing points on D-Day.
"Normandy, Venice and Muscle" - ELISSA JACKSON
"Bethany, Rehoboth, and Dewey" - MIKE ROLFES
You got points if you listed three of the following: Omaha, Utah, Gold,
Juno or Sword.
(Normandy was the name of the region in France.)
2. What are communes in Israel called?
Correct Answer: "Kibbutzes" (Provided that this is the plural of
Kibbutz.)
Whoa! STEVE DIAMOND says that "Kibbutzim" is the plural form of
Kibbutz. What makes Steve an expert? Well, Mr. Chuckletrousers, for
your information Steve starred as Motel the tailor in "Fiddler on the
Roof" at the Rochester Playhouse in Rochester, N.Y. in 1982.
I made that up, but wouldn't that be funny? (It would be if you knew
Steve. He can't sew worth shit.)
3. And, giving time to my people, what is the more popular name for the
"Islamic Resistance Movement - Palestine"?
"Falafel" - KATE KIRKPATRICK
Most of you said "The PLO". That's incorrect. PLO provided the
excellent music for the Olivia Newton-John smash hit "Xanadu". Or was
that ELO? Whatever.
The Correct Answer is "HAMAS". I believe it's all capitalized, as it is
an acronym for the full Arabic name. (And to answer many of your
inquiries, I'm part Lebanese.) (And Irish.) (I'm a terrorist one way
or the other.)
4. Name the movie:
"You're not the boss of me! You're not the king of me!! I'm the King
of Dirk!!!"
Correct Answer: "Boogie Nights" (You lost points if you in any way
slammed this great cinematic achievement.)
5. What product's commercial has a jingle sung to the tune of the old
Slinky commercial?
Correct Answer: "Amigo. The commercial stars JMU grad Kelly Wells,
he's the one driving
when they do donuts on the beach." - COREY MCINTYRE
Hah! Take that UVA! You guys have Katie Couric and Lance Corporal
Dawson, now we've got the Amigo Man.
6. What did Martin Luther nail to a church door?
"A dead cat." - ALBERT OSTROWSKI
"A sign: 'Out to lunch, be back in thirty minutes'" - ANGELICA PENA
VAUGHN
"Mrs. Luther" - LESLIE MARIA
Correct Answer: "His 95 Theses".
7. In "16 Candles", what did a large group of freshman boys pay a
dollar each to see?
Correct Answer: "Samantha's panties."
8. What leader was assassinated in 1981 as his military paraded in
front of him?
Correct Answer: "Anwar Sadat"
DQFunFact: Our very own BASIL MAKHARITA is Egyptian and his family was
actually friends with Sadat. For that reason I have awarded Basil 5
bonus points, making him one of today's Big Winners! ("So, all we have
to do to win is to have known a slain national leader, Dave?") Yes,
that and be my project manager, like Basil.
9. Name the movie:
"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but
let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing."
Correct Answer: "Pretty Woman"
10. What, in your opinion, was Gilligan's biggest goof?
OK, like, almost EVERYONE said that his biggest goof was not shacking up
with Ginger and Maryann, though most of you didn't use such delicate
language. And a few of you sickos threw Mrs. Howell into the mix.
"Obviously when he "cleaned" the compass, removing the magnet, which is
what landed them on the island in the first place." - STEVE BOSWELL
"Not bringing a change of clothes." - TONY PULIESE
"Never nailing the Skipper." - MATT LAUER
"Throwing the Minnow's anchor overboard without first tying it to the
boat." - CHARLES MASSEY
"Fishing in the lagoon and pulling out an explosive mine." - PETER
MCGRATH
"Failing to pick up on that "come hither, tiger" vibe MaryAnn was always
sending out. . . except in "Ginger's Island", a fine X-Rated film I
rented
while my wife was away for the weekend a few weeks ago. In that
film, which was significantly funnier than the original series, Gilligan
didn't miss a thing, and proved to be the man of the island.
Surprisingly,
though, neither Maryann nor Ginger, who were both hot, stole the show.
The "best performance in an xxx-rated takeoff of Gilligan's Island"
award
went to Mrs. Howell, played by the inimitable Nina Hartley. Wow. Fine
actress, that woman."
(I'll spare this guy and leave his name out.) (But it's worth noting
that the Nina Hartley he mentioned appeared in one of today's answers!
She was the wife in "Boogie Nights" who kept sleeping with everyone.)
And on that note I shall bid you buh-bye.
Congratulations once again to today's winners!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 04/30/98
Date: Mon, 04 May 1998 10:40:09 -0400
The Daily Answers
04/30/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* CHRISTY CHALLAS!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
SCOTT BAGER
PJ HENRY
JERRY HELISEK
KATE KIRKPATRICK
NATE RIPPEL
ANGELICA PENA VAUGHN
and
MELISSA SINUNU!!
These contestants will receive a day's supply of Uncle Ben's "Cheesy
Salsa" instant rice. "When only the best will do say Uncle. Uncle Ben."
Way to go!
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
Remember our discussion about helicopters being airplanes? I said that
they were not. JOHN BRENCE, a Blackhawk pilot stationed in Hawaii,
agreed. But we had another contestant whose fiance is a pilot who
disagreed. I consulted the experts, which in this case are the good
folks over at Bell Helicopters. Here's what they said:
*********
There are more than two kinds of aircraft, but I would agree with you
that a "helicopter" is not an airplane. We use the terms "fixed wing"
and "rotary wing" to distinguish between airplanes and helicopters.
As to your question about Matt Lauer -- I have no idea.
Kevin Hale
Bell Helicopters
**********
Rock on, Kevin.
Rock on, Brence.
Rock on, QuizMaster.
1. Why did Michael Fay get his ass caned?
Correct Answer: "Graffiti in Singapore, two great things that don't go
together." - JONATHAN COLAN
"Spray painting cars in Singapore. I vote that he
deserved it. Not for actually vandalizing the cars, but for that
cowardly appeal to the United States trying to get out of his
punishment. What a wimp." - SARA BRADLEY
Also Accepted:
"For defacing property without the expressed written consent of Major
League Baseball." - MIKE ROLFES
2. How come Wonder Woman never worried about getting shot at?
Correct Answer: "Becuase she was an ex-slave and had these arm bands
which allowed her to deflect bullets. As a child, I believed that if
you got real close to the TV, you could see Linda Carter naked when she
spun around to turn into Wonder Woman. Last year I taped an episode
and played it in slow motion. You really couldn't see her naked,
however, if you looked into the light just right, the message 'Drink
more Ovaltine' appears." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
"She was HOT! I think about her a lot. I mean, a LOT." - PJ HENRY
3. What was Manfred von Richthofen better known as?
Correct Answer: "The Red Baron"
4. Where will you find isobars and isotherms?
"In the dictionary." - ANGELICA PENA VAUGHN
"Check your grocer's freezer." - MATT GEORGE
"In my isolunchbox." - KARL ROTHMAN
"In an isocream shop." - GORDON HADA
"Isotopes" - GLENDA SIMMONS
Glenda is actually closer than you may think. While the answer I was
looking for was "On a map" (they are lines which have something to do
with pressure and temperature, I don't really know) an isobar is also an
element which has the same atomic weight but different number as another
element. An isotope is the opposite - same number different weight. I
looked this up.
5. You're sitting in the food court at Pentagon City Mall, enjoying a
delicious tuna pita, see? Now dig, you see a teenaged girl reach into a
trash recepticle to retrieve the keys she dropped, and - WHOA!! - she
falls in and gets stuck!! When she is finally extracted three hours
later, the crowd gasps as they realize that she is the same girl who
fell into the well in Texas when she was a little baby. As she is
sheepishly peeling used ketchup packets from her face you ask for her
autograph. What does she sign?
"Ha! You misspelled 'recepticle'! I know how it's spelled, cuz from
1984 to 1985, when my dad was out of work, that's where we'd get our
meals. Also, I like boys. And I steal." - BILL TYRRELL
(Actually, I may have added a word or two to Bill's answer, but that's
what one can expect when one corrects the QM's spelling. Waddayasay,
kids? Should we suspend Bill for a couple days? Oh, THREE days?
Buh-bye, Bill!)
A few of you said something like "A piece of paper". Either you didn't
understand the question, or you were going for the big laugh. Frankly,
either way you were hurtin'.
The correct answer was something along the lines of:
"To Chris,
Say No to drugs,
Jessica McClure #44" - CHRIS DESANTIS
6. Name the movie:
"These walls are kind of funny like that. First you hate 'em, then you
get used to 'em. Enough time passes, gets so you depend on them. That's
institutionalized. They send you here for life, that's exactly what they
take. The part that counts, anyways."
Correct Answer: "The Shawshank Redemption"
7. What U.S. mountain carving, currently under development, will dwarf
Mount Rushmore?
A few of you said "Stone Mountain, GA", which, while wrong, *is* the
world's larges bas-relief sculpture, and the correct answer to a DQ
question from about 6 months ago. You get no points for this, but, man,
if you'd been here 6 months ago you would be, as the urban youths say,
"the bomb".
Correct Answer: "The Crazy Horse Memorial, in Custer, South Dakota will
be large enough so that the entire carving of Mt. Rushmore could fit
inside the head of Mr. Horse." - TRIP KIRKPATRICK
MELISSA SINUNU has actually been to the Black Hills of South Dakota to
see it.
Rock on, Melissa!
Rock on, Crazy Horse.
If you'd like to learn more about the Crazy Horse Memorial or the great
history of the American Indians of the Plains, visit your local
library. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Just kidding!!!
Also Accepted:
"Mount Muchmore" - LISA FLINT
"Mount Rushevenmore" - MATT GEORGE
"Mount Rushmost" - HARRIS KAY
8. Why is a score of zero called "love" in tennis?
"ANGLICIZATION OF THE FRENCH "L'OEUF," THE EGG, I.E., BIG FAT ZERO" -
HARRIS KAY (+1 for knowing the word "Anglicization. -1 for actually
using it. -2 for USING ALL CAPS.)
(Please don't send your answer in all caps.)
Also Accepted: "Because women get so pissed off when you beat them 45
to zero, that if you call it "zero" they won't sleep with you.
Therefore, we decided to call it
"love", cause that's what we're trying to avoid getting gypped out of."
- SHANE SLEIGHTER
9. Who replaced Ed McMahon as The Tonight Show's "Laugh at Everything"
guy?
Actually, this question sucked. I was thinking of Kevin Eubanks, cuz he
laughs at every stupid thing Jay Leno says. But then many of you said
"Branford Marsalis", who was Jay's original band leader, but didn't kiss
Jay's ass at all. Rock on, Branford. Anyway, there is no correct
answer to this question, or rather, there is no wrong answer.
10. How does Chief Brody kill the shark in Jaws II?
Most of y'all knew that he electrocuted it.
Congratulations once again to our Big Winners!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/01/98
Date: Tue, 05 May 1998 09:34:34 -0400
The Daily Answers
05/01/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* ALLAN HERING!! *
* *
**************************
Al has been a DQ contestant since Day One (or, as my boss refers to it,
"The day Dave's productivity inexplicably fell off sharply.") Al is a
consultant at Booz Allen & Hamilton. He enjoys playing soccer, fishing
off his new boat and doing everything his wife tells him to do.
Way to go, Al!!
You veteran contestants will remember the days when I used to introduce
new contestants to the group, right? Well, since we started getting so
many additions I had to quit doing that. But today I've decided to
introduce you to someone. I don't know the guy, and neither does anyone
I know. But, his email requesting DQ membership included a link to his
homepage, which itself included a picture of his family. So, point your
browsers to http://members.home.net:80/johnson95/ and meet BOYD JOHNSON,
his lovely
wife Susan, and their two sons, Roger and Babaloo. Actually, he doesn't
provide the names of the boys, so I had to improvise.
Ya got a fine-looking brood, Boyd. (But between you and me, I think
Roger shows great potential for mischief.)
Welcome aboard!
Also, regarding the "Helicopter vs Airplane" question, we just got this
from Laurie Evans at the Goddard Space Flight Center:
"I think that someone at Langley Research Center should be able to lend
their
expertise to this question. Langley Research Center is the NASA center
that
manages projects that deal with aviation. Goddard is low earth orbiting
satellites, communication, tracking, and building them.
As far as Matt Lauer I don't think he's gay, a little pompous maybe, but
not
gay.
Dr. Laurie Evans"
Thanks, Doc!!
Today's Big Winners:
NINA DANG
STEVE DIAMOND
SCOTT ELDRIDGE
PAT GEORGE
SHRIVE HERING
TRIP KIRKPATRICK
and
ROB WAGNER
These contestants win SCOTT DAY's VHS copy of "The Dinner Party", a
cinematic tour de force.
(JENNIFER KOSS, you would have won, but you misspelled "Hexadecimal".)
1. You are Elmer Fudd. You are in an opera, wearing a viking helmet.
What is your next line?
Correct Answer: "Kill da wabbit!"
SCOTT BAGER threw in:
"yes, magic helmet
and I will give you a
samp-ow...
north winds bwow!
south wind bwow!
wightnig!
huwwicane!"
2. On what day of the year would those old Soviet rascals get all
dolled up and have one hellified military parade celebrating the workers
of the world?
Correct Answer: "Why, that would be May Day, upon which our old pals in
the Soviet bloc
would trot out all their ICBMs and march through Red Square to celebrate
the glories of Soviet labor. One is hard pressed to guess at what those
glories were, however, particularly since the old joke during the late
Soviet period among trudniki was that "we pretend we work, they
pretend they pay us." Moreover, the Soviet Empire left a great deal to
be
desired, prompting one observer to note that it was 'the only empire
that
built ruins.'" - TOM BAKER
This reminds the QuizMaster of another great Soviet-era joke: Dig, two
political prisoners are sitting in the gulag. "How long is your
sentence?", one of the prisoners asks the other. "Ten years. But I did
nothing wrong at all!" "That can't be right. The penalty for that is
only 5 years." HAR! (It's funnier in Russian, I guess.)
(Happy Birthday, GLENDA SIMMONS)
3. What celebrity helped dig Bart Simpson out of the well? (Bonus
Point for singing the song they all got together to record for "Timmy".)
Correct Answer: "Sting"
A *lot* of you included all the lyrics to the song "We're Sending Our
Love Down the Well".
There's a hole in my heart
As deep as a well
For that poor little boy
Who's stuck halfway to hell
Though we can't get him out
We'll do the next best thing...
We'll go on TV and sing, sing, sing
Chorus:
And we're sending our love down the well
All the way down
We're sending our love down the well
Down that well
4. In the movie "Popeye", who would gladly pay you Tuesday for a
hamburger today?
Correct Answer: "Wimpy"
5. A base-2 number system (you know, "on/off", "true/false") is called
what?
Correct Answer: "Binary"
6. (A little harder.) A base-16 number system is called what?
"Molly Ringwaldary" - CHRIS BLILEY
"ahhhh.....ummmm" - KATE KIRKPATRICK
Correct Answer: "Hexadecimal"
Also Accepted:
"A LITTLE harder?! Jesus Christ, we were kicking ass on this quiz!
Only
programmers would get this one. I pray that the official answer to this
is
"I don't know," 'cause that's mine." - PETE WILLSEY (Why did I accept
this answer? Because the kid didn't cheat and look it up on the web.)
(I'm not saying you did, but...)
"Hextatagonalolygagnary" - DAVE HAGLER
7. In what city would you find Flo, Vera and Alice working in Mel's
Diner?
Correct Answer: "Phoenix, AZ"
8. What president drew a line in the sand?
"Bill Clinton. He then proceeded to write his name and for a finale he
put
out the campfire." - CRAIG STACEY
Correct Answer: "Bush"
9. Who was Nadia Comaneci's coach?
Correct Answer: "Bela Karolyi"
10. And speaking of Romanians, what evil dictator of theirs was
overthrown about ten years ago?
"There was one?" - MATT GEORGE
Correct Answer: "Ceaucescu-- as Dennis Miller from SNL put it, 'after
being executed
by firing range his body was ground up and fed to the dogs--
Puppy Ceaucescu!'" - BRIAN FOSTER
Also Accepted: "Yergi Schmergi" - MILLIE PERRINE
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/18/98
Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 23:18:02 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
05/18/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MELISSA SINUNU!! *
* *
**************************
Before we announce today's Big Winners, this cute love story. Everyone
knows that DQ women are the foxiest women, but dig on this story that
ROBIN CERMAK recently shared with me: Seems that she has an admirer at
the gym she works out at. She's never spoken to the boy, and in fact
didn't know he existed. But one day he drove up to her in the parking
lot in a cheesified car with "Street Angel" painted on the side, and
handed her the following mucho creepy poem:
"To Someone Special,
For every time we worked out in the gym
And those special moments we did share
Are all the things I will remember
For as you can see I really do care
When I'm looking at you my heart rapidly pumps
We have fun and work out for hours
When we depart I feel down in the dumps
To me you are a beautiful flower
As pretty as can be
You cheer up those who are in need
To do that you must be
Someone special indeed"
(And you girls say that we men aren't romantic! Good heavens, Robin.
Let us know how your first date went.)
Today's Big Winners:
CHRISTIE CHALLAS
TOM CLAY
JON DAVID
JAMES FLINT
JOHN HERING
MEREDITH LINBERGER
JAMES MORRISARD
MELISSA SINUNU
TISHA STACEY
DEVON TUTAK
These contestants will receive a collection of Frank Sinatra's most
beloved hits. There's "My Way", and...ummm...hmmmm...oh, "New York, New
York", and, ummmm...
Way to go!
(Oh, and by the way, did you see Cher on "Dateline" last night? She
said that she was so naive when she met Sonny that she actually believed
that the faces in Mt. Rushmore were a natural phenomenon. Uh, Cher,
babe, that's not "naive" that's "dumb as a box of lint".
1. Who is Queen Elizabeth II's husband?
"I dunno but Catherine the Great's was Mr. Ed." - JAMES FLINT
Correct Answer: "Prince Philip"
"Hey, Phil, have you been on the QE II?"
"Oh yeah."
- DAVE HAGLER
2. What kind of horse pulls the Budweiser wagon?
Correct Answer: "Clydesdale"
Better Answer: "Clydesdale. One bit my dad's hand at Disney World." -
LESLIE MARIA
"Clydesdale. At W&M, we'd go to Busch Gardens a lot 'cause you could
get two free beers if you went on the Brewery "tour"--ok, so we'd go
straight to the bar w/o taking the tour, but they had a stable with
those magnificent horsies in it. They're quite large."
- ELISSA JACKSON
"Have you ever seen the c@#! on one of those things?" - PJ HENRY
(Hey, c'mon.)
"I don't know what they're called, but they've got the biggest johnsons
of any animal on earth." - SCOTT ELDRIDGE
(Alright, that's enough.)
3. What country just had to prove to the rest of the world that they
can nuke something other than a 7-11 chili cheese dog?
Correct Answer: "India"
"How's the sensitivity training coming?" - HARRIS KAY
"Oooohhh, I hope you don't have any Indian friendS." - NINA DANG
(Not anymore I don't.)
4. Who was Darren's boss on "Bewitched"?
Correct Answer: "Larry Tate of McMahon and Tate; Not a very bright
boss, he never noticed
when Darren changed from Dick York to Dick Sargent - then again, neither
did Samantha; or was it the other way around, Sargent to York?. Larry
was
also a lush - a king of three martini lunches." - STEVE DIAMOND
"The best example of an alcoholic boss on TV." - CHRIS MILLER
5. Who replaced Norm Macdonald on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend
Update"?
Correct Answer: "Colin Quinn"
"He is a hell of a lot better." - GORDON HADA
(Gordon lost all his points for this remark.)
6. How many steps make up the recovery process of Alcoholics Anonymous?
"1. Never go to Dewey 2. Understand that you will never be able to
dance again. 3. Realize that you will never experience coyote ugly
again." - DAVID QUINN
(Ya know, I always thought that the whole "coyote ugly" thing was funny
until I woke up next to a chewed-off arm.)
7. Which of the following is NOT one of AA's steps?
A. Admit the problem.
B. Make amends.
C. Let simmer for 6-8 minutes before adding seasoning packet.
D. Take a searching moral inventory.
"Probably C, but I never get past A." - TOM BAKER
"E. Admit bornioian ancestry." - JENNIFER BAGER
"E. Get roaring drunk & phone Cathie Walker at 3 a.m. professing your
undying love." - CATHIE WALKER
Correct Answer: "C"
"Speaking of which, did I ever tell you my recipe for Academy Award Rice
(can only be made once a year). I made some a couple years back:
-At the beginning of the Academy Awards, put water in a pot, bring to
boil.
A handy check is 1 cup of water per 1 cup of rice.
-Put rice in water. I always like to add a little butter and salt, but
I'm
wacky that way.
-Take rice off immediatly after Best Actress is announced. You should
probably take it off earliar if the fire alarm should happen to sound.
-Scrape good rice off the top of pan (makes 2-3 tablespoons).
-Throw pan away." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
8. What is the U.S. government agency that is responsible for
intercepting and monitoring the worldwide communications
traffic of other countries?
A lot of you said "The CIA". That's incorrect, I'm afraid.
Correct Answer: "The National Security Agency"
"...and I want to say hello to all the NSA folks clandestinely reading
this." - STEVE DIAMOND
9. What is the next number in the following sequence?
41, 28, 17, 10...
Most Predictable Wrong Answer: "69" - MARK GORMAN
"8... I thought I would never get that one." - GREG HYLTON
(You didn't.)
Correct Answer: "5. This series is subtracting 13, 11, 7, and on down
the line of prime numbers as they decrease to 2, which is the smallest
prime. The completed series
should liook like: 41, 28, 17, 10, 5, 2, 0." - LEV LESOKHIN
Right-a-roony, Lev!
Some of you may be saying, "Hey, Dave, if a prime number is any number
which can only be factored by 1 and itself, shouldn't *1* be the
smallest prime number?"
Excellent question, friend. But for some reason, 1 is not considered a
prime number. I don't know why. Ask Euclid. It was all his idea.
Actually, not too many of you got this one. Give yourself a pat on the
brain if you did. Worth noting is that our newest DQ pal, 16 year-old
DEVON TUTAK, got it right. You guys, she was born in 1982. I have
JEANS older than that.
Rock on, Devon.
10. Name the movie:
"Only two things come from Oklahoma: Steers and queers. I don't see no
horns on you, so you MUST be a queer!"
Most of you said "An Officer and a Gentleman", but a lot of you also
said that this line is found in "Full Metal Jacket". I had forgotten
about that.
DQ FunFact: Our own SCOTT DAY appeared with XXXXXX XXXXXX (the drill
instructor in FMJ) in that cool Coors commercial that had John Wayne in
it. Rock on, Scott.
Rock on, John Wayne.
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/19/98
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 10:18:49 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
05/19/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MELISSA SINUNU!! *
* *
**************************
NOTE: I have begun accepting nominations for Contestant of the Week. If
there's someone whom you feel deserves this honor and all the perks that
come with it, send me a brief paragraph saying why. You CANNOT nominate
yourself.
Or GEORGE PATCH. Hee-hee-hee-hee.
Before we begin, a correction: DEVON TUTAK was not born in 1982, but rat
1981. I do
not have any jeans that old. Sorry Devon!
Today's Big Winners:
GARY CLARK
PAUL GEORGE
ELISSA JACKSON
BOYD JOHNSON
BYRON KERR
KATE KIRKPATRICK
JENNIFER KOSS
SUSIE METZGER
WES NAU
TOM O'REILLY
JP XENAKIS
Today's winners will receive a coupon for 30 cents off a Taco Bell "Choco
Taco".
Way to go!
1. In computerese, what does "I/O" refer to?
"integers & outegers" - CATHIE WALKER
Correct Answer: "Input/Output"
2. What's the Latin term which essentially means that when you get
drunk and tell your friend that you've always hated his girlfriend you
can't later blame it on the booze, cuz you really were telling the
truth?
"I took Latin in High School but I can't recall any sessions on
drunkenness." - JENNIFER ANASTASI
(Of course you can't, you were drunk.)
"Ipso Facto, i really have no idea what this means but ipso is such a coo
word." - NATE RIPPEL
(That really is a cool word, Nate. Ranks up there with Provo.)
VERY few of you got this one.
Correct Answer: "In Vino Veritas" (Which means, "In wine there is
truth.") (In tequila there is, like, the meaning of life, I guess.)
Close Enough: "In Wino Truthas" - GORDON HADA
"This reminds me of the blunder JON DAVID pulled at Strawberry Hills when
he referred to his good friend's fiance as a 'psycho.'" - AIMEE SANGSTER
(+1, Gossip)
3. Provide the missing half of these famous pairs:
Napoleon and _Josephine_______
Sigfried and _Roy_______
Flotsam and __Jetsam_______
Amos and __Andy_______
Willie Tyler and _Lester_______
Martin and __Lewis_______
4. Which one of the following animals is NOT poisonous?
A. Centipede
B. King Snake
C. Copperhead
D. Shrew
Most of y'all said the shrew, but I'm afraid the lil' guy is actually
poisonous.
Correct Answer: "King Snake" (Also called a "Rat Snake".)
5. What is the legal term for the government's right to buy your house
from you and plow it over If they need to?
"They can do that?! That SUCKS!" - CRAIG STACEY
Yes, indeedy, they can, Craig. I wish they would do it to my old Supra.
It's called "Eminent Domain".
(Someone said "Enteman Domain", but that's the government's right to buy
your doughnuts.)
6. What is the biggest tourist attraction in Agra, India?
"The road that leads there, Via Agra." - BRIAN SARMAN
Correct Answer: "The Taj Mahal"
(Lots of atomic test sight and Qwik-E-Mart jokes on this one.)
7. What's the Russian acronym for the Union of Soviet Socialist
Republics?
Correct Answer: "CCCP - I remember it from the old Soviet/USA basketball
and hockey
games where the Soviet players had the ugly red uniforms (good choice of
color !) with the big CCCP on the jerseys." - KEN LIFLAND
"This was big while I was growing up. I had this friend named CeCe.
And when the olympics came on we saw their plain red jackets with
the letters that looked like they were taped on with atheletic tape
and they said CCCP. And we howled...because her name was CeCe. And
it was 'See CeCe Pee'." - ANDY SOUDERS
"I'll lay some bucks down that my wife will actually write what
it stands for in Russian, transliterated as best as possible." - CRAIG
STACEY
"'CCCP' (using the Cyrillic alphabet), pronounced as if it were spelled
'SSSR' (sort of)." - TISHA STACEY
8. Where did Jan out hustle Marcia and steal her job?
"On the corner of Hollywood and Vine." - DEVON TUTAK
Correct Answer: "The ice cream shop."
9. Fill in the missing step in the Shampoo Process: Lather, ________,
repeat.
"Shave" - KAREN SCHULSTAD
"Moan" - RENAE MARTIER
10. Why isn't Queen Elizabeth II's mom the Queen of England?
"Too short" - LIA PAPA
"Too ugly" - LEETO TLOU
"Too dead" - ELISSA JACKSON
"Because the Queen's husband was -- oh I don't know." - JOEL PFYFFER
Judges? The judges say "Close enough"!
Many of you gave some pretty convoluted answers, but if your answer inclu
something like "Because her mom, 'The Queen Mum', married into the royal
family, like Diana." then you got credit.
Dig? I knew that you would.
"If you need to remember the order of british nobles following the
king or queen, remember the acronym "does every man visit boston?" that
is, duke - earl - marquis (pronounced mar-kwiss in england) - viscount
- baron." that's what me mum told me." - HARRIS KAY
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/20/98
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 21:44:56 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
05/20/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MELISSA SINUNU!! *
* *
**************************
We have a suspension today!!!
WAHOOOOO!
JOEL PFYFFER is gonna be riding the pine on the sidelines for two days.
Why? I dunno, really, DAN RIPPEL sent me an e-mail requesting it.
Besides COW nominations, I also accept suspension requests. Pissed at
your boss? Suspend him/her! Caught your boyfriend cheating? Suspend
him! Dad won't loan you the Civic this weekend? Suspend him!
It's fun!
It's free!
It's MEAN!
(Offer not valid in HI or AK. Offer good while supplies last.)
Today's Big Winners:
TOM BAKER
NINA DANG
KOREN GOUTOS
ANDREA IMPARATO
BOYD JOHNSON
MEREDITH LINBERGER
BASIL MAKHARITA
MARK SCHMIDT
LYNN SMULLEN
LEETO TLOU
These contestants win a a VERY rare five dollar bill which was printed
UPSIDE DOWN! Oh, wait, I'm holding it wrong. Well, then you win a
not-so-rare five dollar bill.
Way to go!
1. Name the movie:
"I didn't kill my wife!"
"I don't care!"
"You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." - TRIP KIRKPATRICK
2. Who was Pete Townsend's "Under a Raging Moon" written for?
Doh! It was Roger Daltrey, not Pete Townsend! Thanks to KATE
KIRKPATRICK for pointing that out. Kate wins a three day suspension!
Just kiddin'.
But the song is about Keith Moon, The Who's first drummer.
3. What in our bodies produces red blood cells?
Correct Answer: "Bone marrow"
4. What was the name of the RV that Homer Simpson REALLY wanted to buy?
Correct Answer: "The Ultimate Behemoth"
5. Let's try our hand at another little number puzzle!
Kindly provide the next TWO numbers in the following sequence:
1, 32, 60, 91, 121...
Hmmmm...this poses a quandary for the Quizmaster, here. Most y'all
found a solution to this that I hadn't considered.
Dig, I was going for a very tricky pattern where each number represents
the first day of each month in a calendar year. "1" is the first day of
January; "32" adds the 31 days of January to yield the first day of
February, and so on. An easier way to arrive at this is to look at what
numbers were being added: 31, 28, 31, and 30. I had hoped people would
recognize these as the numbers of days in the months. Following this
pattern would give the next two numbers as "152" and "182". JOHN HERING
and MIKE KOZNARSKY got this one.
HOWEVER, a lot of you saw the pattern as having "31" appear every other
number, with the other numbers incrementing by 2. This pattern gives
"152" and "184" as the next two numbers.
TOM BAKER got both answers. Rock on, Tom!
Both answers are correct, but let's lay off those kinds of questions,
huh? It took me forever to figure out why so many people got 152 and
184.
6. What was the name of the huge desert flop starring Dustin Hoffman
and Warren Beatty?
MELISSA SINUNU liked this movie very much, she says. I guess I can't
really judge, cuz I haven't seen it. I've just heard bad things about
it. I must admit that I do this with people, too. But that is neither
here nor there.
7. Name three of the seven deadly sins.
Ordinarily we don't like to reward people for naming more than the
requested number of answers, but SCOTT ELDRIDGE appears to have put a
lot of effort into his recitation of the Seven Deadly Sins from the
movie "Seven":
"1. Gluttony - he feeds the guy pasta until he is so full that a kick
in the stomach causes his stomach to explode
2. Greed - he cuts a pound of flesh out of the lawyer
3. Lust - he makes the guy have intercourse with a hooker with a
bladed strap on
4. Vanity - he hacks up a models face and gives her the choice to
either save herself and call for help (gluing a phone to one hand)
but
living a life disfigured or overdose on sleeping pills which he
glues
to the other hand. she dies.
5. Sloth - he keeps the guy alive strapped to a bed for a full
year,
feeding him heroin every day until he is a living skeleton.
6. Envy - he cuts off G. Paltrow's head and Fed-Ex's it to B. Pitt
in
the middle of the dessert because he is envious of what he has.
7. Wrath - B. Pitt shoots K. Spacey in the head for his misdeed." -
SCOTT ELDRIDGE
8. Name something that is not one of the seven, but really ought to be.
"Stupidity" - SUSANNE TINKER
"Sobriety" - STEVE BOSWELL
"Poverty" - JENNIFER ANASTASI (Hah! I love it.)
"Rooting for the New York Yankees, the Great Satan of baseball." - ROB
DANIELS
"Calling people at 3am because you are having trouble loading data into
Oracle." - DAN RIPPEL (Amen, Dan--Hey! Dan, I really needed help that
night.)
"Flatulence" - NATE RIPPEL
"Aggressive Driving" - MILLIE PERRINE (As a card carrying Road Rager, I
cannot endorse this one.)
"Going the speed limit while driving in the passing lane." - MELISSA
SINUNU (Hey, Amen. That's why Melissa is our COW.)
"Not pulling into the intersection when your turning left from a turning
lane
while awaiting either a slowdown in the on-coming traffic or the yellow
light." - JONATHAN COLAN (Yes!)
"Having to buy tampons for your wife or girlfriend." - MIKE KOZNARSKY (I
think it would be even worse to have to buy them for BOTH.)
"Gossiping" - LISA FLINT (Ooh, Lisa, you were doing so well today until
you dissed my only hobby.)
"Religious Fanaticism" - LEV LESOKHIN
"PDA" - ELISSA JACKSON
"B.O." - TRACY GOEBEL
...and finally, a very important one:
"Challenging the DQ QuizMaster on why you're not named a winner because
you
got all the answers right." - BASIL MAKHARITA
Basil and I were just giving STEVE DIAMOND a stern talking to the other
night for doing this very thing. Contestants, please keep in mind that
I do have a real job which occasionally requires that I appear busy. I
can't ALWAYS go through all of the quizzes with a fine tooth comb. I
*do* read them all, though.
9. Who was Liza Minnelli's mom?
"Dorothy. I'm drawing blank on her name." - JP XENAKIS
That's OK, JP. That's close enough. Hey JP, ya know your friend, CHRIS
MALTESE? Well did he ever tell you about the time when me and ENRICO
GAGLIOTI taped a HUGE fly to the mouthpiece of his phone? Oh, man, that
was funny. He was chatting with Timeshare (his girl at the time who was
also seeing somebody else) with that monster of a dead fly sitting
millimeters from his mouth. Boy, did he get mad.
Anyway, the answer here is "Judy Garland".
10. What's another name for the skull and crossbones flag?
Correct Answer: "Jolly Roger"
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/21/98
Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 00:14:19 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Quiz
05/21/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MELISSA SINUNU!! *
* *
**************************
Thanks to the 6th graders at Magellan Charter School in Raleigh, NC for
these questions!
And to LISA FLINT, their teacher, for sending the answers!
For the sake of the children I left out most of the really raunchy stuff
you guys wrote, so that didn't leave much, I'm afraid.
Today's Big Winners:
BRANDY ABERNATHY
PAT GEORGE
LINDA HERING
ANN RUMNEY
LET'S GET IT ON!
1. What do 6th graders like to do most in their spare time?
"I liked bikes when I was in sixth grade. And boys." - MILLIE PERRINE
"Light fish on fire using matches and an aerosol can." - DAVE MARIA
(hmmmmm)
"Sleep with the pitcher." - KRISTIN MATUSHAK
"'Read' National Geographic. - ELISSA JACKSON
"Pretend they're 7th graders." - MARK GORMAN
"Try to set Lisa up with guys in Raleigh (people like their swim and
soccer
coaches, gymnastics coach, family friends, fellow teachers, etc) ( it's
actually quite amusing).....the reason I know this is because I'm her
roommate and hear about it all the time..." - ANN RUMNEY
Correct Answer: "Gossip!" - LISA FLINT
2. Name the 6 ways a batter can get on base without getting a hit.
I don't know too much about baseball. I've never been to a game while
sober. Much like Babe Ruth.
"Get her drunk." - DEVON TUTAK (Mercy.)
"Sneaking up from the sidelines." - PAUL GEORGE
3. Name the age you are in 6th grade.
Correct Answer: "12"
If you were not 12 in the 6th grade it does not mean you were weird. It
means you were very weird.
4. What is the phrase used in middle school these days for the old
"will you go with me"?
"It seems 6th graders these days don't have enough courage anymore to
ask themselves so the get a friend to ask him/her if they will go out
with them." - ANN RUMNEY
Correct Answer: "Actually it is quite a process, one never actually
asks out another face
to face. Usually 1 or more other people are involved. You must have
one
of your friends ask the target of your affections 'Will you go out with
(enter name here)?'" - LISA FLINT
5. Name the discoverer of this number sequence, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8......
6. What were the little guys called in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate
factory"?
7. What is the most popular reason to get mad at a friend when you are
in
6th grade?
8. When does the art of note passing start?
9. Who is the heart-throb of 6th graders these days?
boys:
girls:
Correct: "Leonardo Dicaprio"
Incorrect: "Gerard Depardieu" - DAVE MARIA
10. What were the last words heard on each episode of "The Waltons"?
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/21/98
Date: Fri, 22 May 1998 10:59:39 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Quiz
05/21/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MELISSA SINUNU!! *
* *
**************************
Thanks to the 6th graders at Magellan Charter School in Raleigh, NC for
these questions! It was oh, so fun for me, cuz when you think about it
I never really get to play the DQ.
And thanks to LISA FLINT, their teacher, for sending the answers!
For the sake of the children I left out most of the really raunchy stuff
you guys wrote, so that didn't leave much, I'm afraid. But our children
are the future. They kinda have to be, cuz old people die.
Today's Big Winners:
BRANDY ABERNATHY
PAT GEORGE
BRIAN GORE
LINDA HERING
SEAN KENNEALY
ED ROSSI
and
ANN RUMNEY
These contestants win the entire "Dorf" collection of videos starring
Tim Conway. This 37 video collection is worth almost 25 dollars!
Way to go!!
LET'S GET IT ON!
1. What do 6th graders like to do most in their spare time?
OK, lots and lots of "Shooting your classmates" answers here. Not that
this isn't funny, cuz it really is. But what's the deal with all these
kids shooting up their schools? Hellooo? It's been done! Do something
different. Like...I don't know...steal a tank and drive it through a
pep rally, or put a bomb on the school bus that will detonate if it goes
slower than 55 mph. Pyschos are bad enough, but psychos with a lack of
creativity bug me.
"I liked bikes when I was in sixth grade. And boys." - MILLIE PERRINE
"Light fish on fire using matches and an aerosol can." - DAVE MARIA
(hmmmmm)
"'Read' National Geographic." - ELISSA JACKSON
"Pretend they're 7th graders." - MARK GORMAN
"Read 'Goosebumps' and snap bra straps." - TOM BAKER
"Try to set Lisa up with guys in Raleigh (people like their swim and
soccer coaches, gymnastics coach, family friends, fellow teachers, etc)
(it's
actually quite amusing).....the reason I know this is because I'm her
roommate and hear about it all the time..." - ANN RUMNEY
Correct Answer: "Gossip!" - LISA FLINT
2. Name the 6 ways a batter can get on base without getting a hit.
I don't know too much about baseball. I've never been to a game while
sober. Much like Babe Ruth.
Most of you took a stab at answering this and then degenerated to sex
references like:
"Sleep with the pitcher." - KRISTIN MATUSHAK
Or you said something like:
"Sneaking up from the sidelines." - PAUL GEORGE
Fact is, I'm not really sure of the correct answer. STEVE DIAMOND
seemed like he knew what he was talking about when he said:
"Base on Balls,
Hit by Pitch,
Fielder's Choice,
Error,
Catcher's Interference,
Dropped Third Strike and reaching first base before the throw reaches
first base."
3. Name the age you are in 6th grade.
Correct Answer: "12"
Also accepted "11"
Could not accept: "10". That's just a ridiculous answer.
4. What is the phrase used in middle school these days for the old
"will you go with me"?
"It seems 6th graders these days don't have enough courage anymore to
ask themselves so the get a friend to ask him/her if they will go out
with them." - ANN RUMNEY
Correct Answer: "Actually it is quite a process, one never actually
asks out another face to face. Usually 1 or more other people are
involved. You must have
one of your friends ask the target of your affections 'Will you go out
with
(enter name here)?'" - LISA FLINT
DQ FunFact: This is actually how my Dad proposed to my Mom.
5. Name the discoverer of this number sequence, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8......
I must confess that I was stumped on this one.
Correct Answer: "Fibonacci"
6. What were the little guys called in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate
factory"?
Correct Answer: "Oompaloompas"
DQ FunFact: "My brother and I went to see Willy Wonka in the early 70's
and when we came out of the theater (in downtown Vienna) there was a
dead body lying on the ground (with police there of course). One of the
projectionists was up on the roof throwing the football, and he fell." -
BRIAN SARMAN
7. What is the most popular reason to get mad at a friend when you are
in 6th grade?
Correct Answer: "Telling someone's secret."
Incorrect Answer: "Bogarting his joint."
8. When does the art of note passing start?
Here was my answer to this question, which Lisa said is correct:
"Depends. In the Western Hemisphere it's 4th grade for girls, never for
guys. In the East it's the 2nd grade for both girls and boys."
9. Who is the heart-throb of 6th graders these days?
boys:
Correct: "Carmen Electra"
Incorrect: "Hanson" - Tons of you said this.
girls:
Correct: "Leonardo Dicaprio and Matt Damon"
Incorrect: "Gerard Depardieu" - DAVE MARIA
10. What were the last words heard on each episode of "The Waltons"?
Correct Answer: "Goodnight, John Boy."
Incorrect Answer: "They killed John Boy! You bastards!" - JONATHAN
COLAN
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/22/98
Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 22:02:56 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Quiz
05/22/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JP XENAKIS!! *
* *
**************************
JP, our newest COW, is not stranger to you DQers. His witty, biting,
and often times pointless answers have been entertaining workplace
slackers for many months. JP (short for JPRTZX2000) lives and works in
New Jersey. He works for American Express. And for peace. Truthfully,
I don't know JP all that well. He's a friend of CHRIS MALTESE, my old
roommate at JMU. I remember JP was with us at Foxfields once. And
that's all I remember, what with Foxfields being just a huge booze-fest,
as you probably know. Anyway, congratulations, JP!
Today's Big Winners:
ALLEN BORN
CHRISSY FULFARO
MARK GORMAN-GEORGE
CHARLES MASSEY
JAMES MORRISARD
GEORGE PATCH
KERRI REICH
CRAIG STACEY
and
ANN WESTERN
Today's winners will receive laurel and hearty handshake.
Way to go!!
1. What Virginia city shares a name with an Egyptian city?
Way too many people said "Cairo". I don't think there's a Cairo, VA.
Correct Answer: "Alexandria, only over there they call it a 'Royale
with
Cheese'." - CHRIS MILLER
2. In what musical does Tevye struggle to keep his family's Jewish
traditions alive?
"My Fair Rabbi." - JP XENAKIS
Correct Answer: "'Fiddler on the Roof', and boy Tevye gets in trouble
when he promises
his daughter to both the young tailor Matel, and the old butcher
Lazarwolf. In order to get out of this mess, he makes up some nightmare
involving his grandmother and the butcher's dead first wife. This
scared
the living hell out of me when I was nine." - TOM BAKER
"I always wondered *what* he was fiddling with (if you know what I
mean)." - ELISSA JACKSON
Oh, I know that you mean, Elissa. He is playing the fiddle. You see,
Elissa, as much as you'd like to project something sexual into it, the
fiddler is merely a metaphor for the way of life Tevye is trying to
preserve. Feed me a few beers and I will perform the entire show (with
intermissions).
3. In what city will you find Spanish Harlem?
Correct Answer: "New York City"
"They do not make good salsa there." - HARRY HELMICH
"Rob Buckanavage and I stayed there one New Year's, and I think he'll
back me up on this: if you stay in Spanish Harlem, don't forget your
flak jackets. It is possibly the scariest
place on earth." - SARA BRADLEY
"My cousin lived there for a while. Everyone says that it's a really
dangerous place. I didn't think it was that bad." - ROB BUCKANAVAGE
I don't think you kids are communicating.
4. What did the very last Saturn V rocket ever used put into orbit in
1973? (Hint: Years later, this thing was the reason people were buying
souvenir hardhats.)
A lot of you said "The Hubbel Telescope" or "That pager satellite".
Quite a few said "Spacelab". That's not quite right, either.
Correct Answer: "Skylab . Because of a change in atmospheric density
and a delay in the completion of the space shuttle program, Skylab 1
began to disintegrate.
On July 12, 1979, it fell to the Earth over a wide region spreading from
the Indian Ocean to southwestern Australia." - NATASHA FILIPOVIC
Yeah, yeah, I know, blatant web research there. But she might be hot,
and, you know...I don't want to burn any bridges.
Also Accepted:
"Rosie O'Donnell's head. 'Heeeed, down! Look at it--it's like an orange
on a toothpeck'" - ELISSA JACKSON
5. What group of Pentagon dudes is comprised of the top member of each
of the armed forces?
Correct Answer: "Joint Chiefs of Staff"
Also Accepted: "Joint Dudes of Staff." - CHRISSY FULFARO
6. Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?
Correct Answer: "Michelango"
I would never stoop to embarrass all the people who spelled his name
"Michael Angelo", but man it was tempting!
7. In what U.S. state did the Hindenburg burn?
Correct Answer: "Lakehurst, NJ. I actually used to have Lakehurst as an
account and I
went inside one of the blimp hangars. It is soooo big that when I was
there, there was a group of guys playing b-ball on a full size court,
and there was a helicopter practicing some routines in another area." -
BRIAN SARMAN
8. Name the "Rat Pack"?
Correct Answer: "Joey Bishop, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, Dean
Martin, and Frank Sinatra"
Quite a few you noted that Shirley Maclaine was considered by some to be
a member. I had forgotten about that. Go ahead and count her in, too.
9. Name the "Brat Pack"?
This question is definitely open to interpretation, as there is no
definitive list. But BRIAN FOSTER had a pretty good accounting of them:
"Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, Ally Sheedy, Molly Ringwald, Anthony
Michael
Hall, Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, Andrew McCarthy, Patrick Swayze, Charlie
Sheen,
C. THomas Howell, Lea Thompson, Jennifer Grey (basically the entire
casts of
Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Red Dawn, and St. Elmo's Fire)"
OR
"Okay, this is anyone in the Breakfast Club or St. Elmo's Fire,
according
to the media. That means, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Andrew McCarthy,
Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Molly Ringwald, Demi Moore, Anthony Michael
Hall, and little-know-Brat-Pack-member Mare Winningham (remember they
said she was part of it but she never did a damn thing before or after
St. Elmo's Fire)." - JENNIFER KOSS
Note to SHANE SLEIGHTER: Ernest Borgnine, while appearing with Frank
Sinatra in two movies, "From Here to Eternity" and "The Oscar", and with
Sammy Davis Jr. in "The Trackers" and
"Alice in Wonderland", he was not considered part of the Brat Pack. But
look for some exciting Ernest Borgnine questions in future DQ's!
10. Name the movie:
"Do you want blindfolds?"
"You are in violation of the Geneva convention!"
"I never heard of it!"
"Dogface! I show you how Soviet dies."
"I've seen it before."
"The legend of Ferngully." - BRIAN SARMAN
"Muppets take Manhattan" - KAREN SCHULSTAD
Correct Answer: "Red Dawn"
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/26/98
Date: Tue, 26 May 1998 21:59:23 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
05/26/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JP XENAKIS!! *
* *
**************************
I'm pretty busy tonight, what with the new Reader's Digest being out and
all, so these answers are gonna be pretty sparse. Sorry.
Today's Big Winners:
GARY CLARK
SCOTT DAY
NATASHA FILIPOVIC
MEREDITH LINBERGER
SCOTT MELL
ANGELICA PENA VAUGHN
MICHELLE WAGNER
PETER WILLSEY
These contestants will receive a copy of this month's Reader's Digest,
which includes the always hysterical section entitled "Campus Comedy".
This month, Stephen Lindee writes:
"One evening while I was working at the University of Minnesota's
student newspaper, an anouncement was broadcast: 'Whoever owns the BMW
in the parking lot, your lights are on.' Moments later another
announcement was made: 'Whoever owns the BMW in the parking lot--can I
borrow five dollars?'"
Do you see? Do you see what I mean about hysterical??
Hooo, anyway, you guys win that.
Hoo.
Enough silliness, let's get stupid:
1. What is the Japanese word for "Divine wind"?
LOTS of fart jokes here.
Correct Answer: "Kamikaze"
2. Ya know that Isuzu Trooper commercial that has the song that goes "I
was born under a waaaanderin' star"? Well, what musical is that from?
A lot of you said "Hair", which is a pretty good guess. The correct
answer is "Paint Your Wagon". I've never actually seen this movie, but
once flipped past it on the TV as this song was being sung by Lee
Marvin(!). My dad said "That there's 'Paint Your Wagon', one crappy
film." and I always remembered that.
I think only GARY CLARK and MEREDITH LINBERGER got this one.
3. What was once called "New Amsterdam"?
Correct Answer: "New York"
Most of you pointed to "They Might be Giants" as the source of your
knowledge on this subject.
4. "The Smurf", "The Cabbage Patch", "Churn the Butter", "The Running
Man" are examples of what?
Correct Answer: "Dances"
5. What city is known as "The Big D"?
Correct Answer: "Dallas"
A lot of you said "Detroit", "Denver" and even "Des Moines". I accepted
these answers, of course, because, what, Dallas owns the letter 'D', or
something? Ya know?
6. What U.S. Navy ship is known as "Mighty Mo"?
Correct Answer: "U.S.S. Missouri"
DQ FunFact: The Missouri cost over $18,000 dollars to build.
Well, it's true, isn't it?
7. Which one of the elements in the Periodic Table is named after a
U.S. state?
"Titanium... no wait, that was named after a sinking ship.
Boron. Named after Kansas." - PEG WARNER
Correct Answer: "Californium"
8. What's the name of the disorder that causes people to fall asleep
suddenly?
"Narcolepsy. I had a roommate who had this once and claimed that her
doctor
put her on cocaine. Yeah right! Actually it was pretty weird, she
would
fall asleep in mid sentence and "wake up" like 2 minutes later and
finish
her sentence." - LISA FLINT
"Probably THE funniest disorder ever." - ELISSA JACKSON
Elissa, some would argue that Tourette's syndrome is funnier. However, I
feel that, with a little effort, narcolepsy can be made very funny.
Think of the possibilities! Your roommate nods off mid-sentence and
everyone in the room switches seats. Or, she dozes off and you put one
of those big, red clown noses on her. Maybe add an article of clown
clothing each time. Eventually you're gonna have one very confused and
sleepy clown sitting in your living room.
"How many people are gonna do that joke where they are typing and then
fall asleep? Suspend 'em all!" - MATT GEORGE
Nobody would do that, Matt. What a dim view you have of your fellow
contestants.
"Narcolepsyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" - JONATHAN COLAN
"Narcal...sorry, I dozed off." - ZAK MAHSIE
"Narcolepzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." - TRIP KIRKPATRICK
Oh. Ummm, you guys are all suspended. Sorry.
Nah, it was a little cute.
9. How did the U.S. work around Russia's blockade of Berlin after World
War II?
Correct Answer: "The Berlin Airlift" - TONY PUGLIESE
What exactly was the Berlin Airlift?
"Lots and lots of airplanes flew into the city; unloaded in 30 minutes
and
then flew back to west germany, were reloaded and flew back in. They
did
this for months." - STEVE DIAMOND
Oh. Thanks, Steve!
10. Fill in the blanks in this famous quote:
"You won't have ______ ______ to kick around anymore, because, ladies
and gentlemen, this is my last press conference."
Correct Answer: "Richard Nixon"
All my love,
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/27/98
Date: Thu, 28 May 1998 00:21:03 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
05/27/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JP XENAKIS!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
TOM BAKER
REBECCA DICK
SCOTT ELDRIDGE
LISA FLINT
BRIAN FOSTER
SHARON PRESLEY
SHANE SLEIGHTER
DEVON TUTAK
WILLIAM WALLACE
MATT YOUNG
One of today's Big Winners, SCOTT ELDRIDGE, only answered question #9.
Why did he win, then? Because the quote in that question so inspired
him that he went home during lunch and watched the final fight seen from
the movie. This personifies the DQ Spririt--going home for lunch and
watching movies. God bless you, Scott. And God bless America.
Today's Big Winners will receive a side of beef autographed by me
forging Rocky Balboa's signature.
Way to go!
1. What was the name of the school the girls attended on "The Facts of
Life"?
A lot of you said "Ridgemont High"
"Seems like it was something like "Compton Academy" or "Crawford
Academy"
or something like that. Anyway, I think it began with a "C". I *do*,
however, remember that Molly Ringwald was one of the "original" girls
(before it became just the four living with Mrs. Garrett, or
whatever-the-hell)." - TISHA STACEY
(Phew! Most people don't take nearly as long to get a question wrong!)
Correct Answer: "Eastland Academy"
Also Accepted: "Faber" - HARRY HELMICH (Cuz "Animal House" is such a
great movie.)
2. Who was D.C.'s only female mayor?
Correct Answer: "Sharon Pratt Kelly"
Also Accepted: "Sharon Pratt Dixon"
Also Accepted: "Sharon pratt dixon kelly charles aurther george paul
ringo olivia newton john c. holmes" - SCOTT BAGER
Could Not Accept: "Maryanne Barry" - DEVON TUTAK
Oh, alright, I'll accept that.
3. A switchblade-type knife where the blade shoots straight out, rather
than swinging out, is called what?
Correct Answer: "A stiletto"
Also Accepted: "Slicey-Joe the Happy Springy Blade of Brotherhood and
Also Death" - JONATHAN COLAN
4. In what movie does Sally Field organize a labor union?
Correct Answer: "Norma Rae (this is what all my friends started calling
me after I became active in the union at my office)" - TRIP KIRKPATRICK
5. In Chaos Theory they have these geometric shapes that are generated
by mathematical equations and are infinitely detailed even as you
magnify them an infinite number of times. What are these shapes called?
Correct Answer: "Fractals"
6. And while we're talking about shapes, what shape describes a strand
of DNA?
Correct Answer: "Double Helix"
Also Accepted: "Cinnamon Twist" - PJ HENRY
A few of you tried to get over on this one by saying "a polygon".
Correct me if I'm stupid, but I don't think that a double helix
qualifies as a polygon. Anyone?
7. Who is Hagar the Horrible's son?
Correct Answer: "Hamlet"
8. Who is King Hamlet of Denmark's son?
Correct Answer: "Prince Hamlet, and see this would be a different
Hamlet from Hagar's
son Hamlet. [Fun fact: Norway's King Fortinbras's son was also called
Fortinbras. This is because Shakespeare, though otherwise a brilliant
writer was just horrible at coming up with names and took the easy way
out by reusing the same names 2, 3, or even a dozen times in the same
play (see Two Gentlemen of Verona Each Named Tim)." - JONATHAN COLAN
9. Name the movie:
"It's suicide! You've seen him, you know how strong he is. You can't
win!"
"No, maybe I can't win. Maybe the only thing I can do is take everything
he's got. But to beat me, he's gonna have to kill me. And to kill me,
he's gonna have to have the heart to stand in front of me. And to do
that, he's gotta be willing to die himself. I don't know if he's ready
to do that...I don't know."
"The Horse Whisperer" - LEETO TLOU
(Leeto, considering the fact that you've seen "The Horse Whisperer"
THREE times, you'd think you'd know that this quote wasn't in it.)
"Rocky IV? I don't really think this is right. I have a bad feeling."
- PJ HENRY
(PJ, in the future, run with that bad feeling, cuz this was, like, the
only question you got right.)
10. What did Sam do before becoming the bartender at Cheers?
Correct Answer: "Pitcher.....now he serves them." - SEAN BOYLE
Dave
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answer 05/28/98
Date: Fri, 29 May 1998 01:53:13 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
05/28/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JP XENAKIS!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
JANET FORD
LINDA HERING
ELISSA JACKSON
ELI KAILEY
LEV LESOKHIN
BASIL MAKHARITA
SANDI ROTHMAN
MARK SCHMIDT
KAREN SCHULSTAD
and
MIKE WAITE
Today's winners will receive x-ray vision, but not so much that they see
people's guts when they look at them. Just enough to see through their
clothes. And only the people you want to see, not everyone, cuz, let's
face it...
Way to go!
1. What was Van Gogh's physical deformity?
Correct Answer: "He cut off part of his ear.
"I don't know if you could claim the cutting off of one's ear as a
physical
deformity." - SCOTT MELL
Scott, I thought about that when I wrote the question and concluded that
it is a deformity. I mean, his ear was de-formed. Webster's defines
"deform" as "to become misshapen or change in shape". Whether it
happened at birth or he did it himself I'd say this qualifies.
"Well for a long time it was Syphillus. This illness, accompanied
with his taste for absinthe, living in desperate poverty, and the
general mental anguish he felt as an unsuccessful (financially)
artist -- led him to shoot himself in the stomach in a field. Oh,
and of course, he decided to cut his ear off and send it to a
prostitute." - MELISSA SINUNU
(Hey, c'mon, who hasn't ever done that?)
2. From what city does Jay Leno air "The Tonight Show"?
Now this one got a lot of you. Many of you said "Los Angeles". It's
actually "Burbank", which is in the *county* of Los Angeles, but not the
city.
3. Who is the worst Veejay MTV has ever employed?
Ooh, you kids were passionate about this one!
Here's how the voting turned out:
Pauly Shore - 1 vote
Jenny McCarthy - 1
Daisy Fuentes - 1
Carson - 1
Adam Rich - 1 (?)
Bill Bellamy - 3
Dave Kendall - 3
J.J. Jackson - 4
Puck - 2 (I don't think he was a veejay)
Eric Nies - 5
Martha Quinn - 5
Nina Blackwood - 7
Downtown Julie Brown - 9
...and our first runner-up is:
Kennedy - 22!!
So, who was the big MTV Loser?
"That had to have been Veejay Singh Balasubramaniam. I really hated
'Sitar Saturdays'." - BASIL MAKHARITA
Nope, it was...
Jesse!!!
MTV's newest on-air "talent" barely beat out Kennedy with 25 votes!
Here's what you all had to say about this clown:
"The Poor man's Pauly Shore." - DAVE HAGLER
"What is he on?" - GREG MICKLOS
"Makes Bill & Ted look like Oppenheimer and Einstein" - ERIK TUININGA
"Ech!" - ERIC HURET
"That guy is a FREAK!!" - REBECCA DICK
"Heroin punk" - SCOTT ELDRIDGE
"I hate this guy with every cell in my body." - NATE RIPPEL (If that's
not enough you can use some of mine.)
For an interesting article on Jesse, check out:
http://www.jsonline.com/letsgo/tv/0423mtv.stm
4. Who is Matthew Broderick married to?
Correct Answer: "Sarah Jessica Parker"
5. What city's tourism board advertises its city using "Ducky" from
"Duckyworld"?
"I don't know, but if you do a search in Yahoo for "Ducky World", you
get
the following hit at the top of the page:
>>**WANNA KNOW where I put my RUBBER DUCKY?** escorts,European
streetwalkers,European hookers"
- ERIC HURET
Hmmmm, interesting...
"I thought it was the whole state of Massechusetts." - MEREDITH
LINBERGER
You are correct, Meredith, I made a mistake.
6. Where is soccer's World Cup being held this year?
Correct Answer: "France"
7. Where was it held the year the U.S. beat Colombia?
Correct Answer: "The good ol' U.S. of A." - CHRIS BLILEY
8. What U.S. state is divided into parishes?
Correct Answer: "Louisiana"
9. In what biblical city did people try to build a tower that reached
all the way up to heaven?
Correct Answer: "Babel"
DQ FunFact: "In hebrew, the name Babel derives from the phrase
b'ba'al, meaning "to Ba'al." This leads scholars to conclude that the
city
gets its bad name from the fact that the tower and the city were
dedicated to Ba'al, a local god, disfavored of course by the Hebrews,
and it is from Ba'al that the name Beelzebub derives. I know, more than
you wanted to know, but I have to put my religious education to some
use, seeing as I'm a lawyer and don't ordinarily apply that religion
thing." - JONATHAN COLAN
10. What state's capital shares its name with a popular 1920's dance?
Correct Answer: "West Virginia" (Whose capital is Charleston.)
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 05/29/98
Date: Mon, 01 Jun 1998 11:22:29 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
05/29/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JAMES FLINT!! *
* *
**************************
JAMES FLINT, our newest (and very overdue) Contestant of the Week, is a
sick, sick kid. Sometimes I read his answers and think "They won't give
him sharp objects in there, but they let him have email access??" James
has been playing the DQ since it started last summer. (Look for the big
DQ Anniversary Special!) He is a graduate of William & Mary, and he
NEVER hums, whistles, taps his pen, slurps his coffee, talks to himself,
talks to his officemates before 10:30 a.m., comments on conversations he
isn't involved in, or fails to pick up nonverbal cues that a person
needs to get back to work and it's time for him to mosey.
Rock on, James!
Today's Big Winners:
BRIAN BEARD
STEVE BOSWELL
GORDON HADA
BOYD JOHNSON
HARRIS KAY
LESLIE MARIA
LAURA MENARD
RACHEL OLITSKY
TONY PUGLIESE
MARK SCHMIDT
and
PEG WARNER
These contestants will receive a football phone.
Way to go!
1. What late comedian did Dustin Hoffman portray in a movie?
Correct Answer: "Lenny Bruce (The movie was "Lenny" and I remember it
being kinda boring... or maybe it was just depressing.)"
2. Name the movie:
"Drugs?"
"No, thank you."
"No, are you in here for drugs?"
"What are YOU here for?"
"Drugs."
Correct Answer: "Ferris Bueller's Day Off (featuring Charlie Sheen in a
prophetic role)" - BRIAN FOSTER
3. Fill in the blank in the following product logo:
"Hungry for life. Thirsty for ______."
Correct Answer: "Naya"
4. What was Elvis's middle name?
Correct Answer: "Aron"
5. Compare and contrast the different methods by which Samantha Stevens
and Jeannie performed magic.
"- Jeannie performed in a see-through little bikini number, where
Samantha performed in very conservative housewife attire (with a few
exotic exceptions.) Jeannie was way hotter.
- Jeannie did the decisive head-bob motion to activate magic, where
Samantha did that adorable little "I have an itch in my nose" twitch.
- Jeannie performed Ancient Arabic lamp-magic, where Samantha performed
witch magic.
- Both performed off-the-wall magic that caused great plot complication
for their bumbling male companions, however,Samantha did so against the
wishes of her husband Darren, while Jeanniedid so often at the request
of her Master." - JP XENAKIS
6. What does Martin Tupper do for a living on "Dream On"?
Correct Answer: "He's an editor at a publishing company."
7. What do those wacky Brits call an elevator?
Correct Answer: "A lift."
8. Name the famous twin brothers who ambushed their parents with
shotguns?
OK, so they weren't twins, sue me. I was looking for the Menendez
brothers.
9. How many bytes are in a megabyte?
Strictly speaking, there are actually 1,048,576 bytes in a megabyte, but
it's also correct to say that there are an even 1 million.
10. What's your favorite Phil Hartman quote? (Mine's "Take the Amigos'
clothes!") (Small part, but man, he nailed it.)
As Frank Sinatra:
"Don't tell me what I don't get, Mr. Clean. I was bringing broads
here before you were a gleam in some drunk mick's eye." - CHRIS BLILEY
"Watch it Idol. I've got chunks of guys like you in my stool." - CHRIS
DESANTIS
Question: Who would you rather nail Eva Gardener
or Kim Novak? I take myself out, because I've nailed them both!
Skinhead O'Connor!" - MELISSA SINUNU
>From PAT GEORGE:
Don't forget that he was also the voice of Lionel Hutz. (The attorney.)
Homer: "Hey, can you babysit for us?"
Lionel: "Sure, it'll cost you $10 an hour."
Homer: "5!"
Lionel: "6 and I get to keep this old birdcage I found in your garbage."
Homer: "Deal."
Lionel: *adjusting tie* "I still got it."
Another good one:
Lionel: "Mrs. Simpson, I'm sorry I lost the case but here's a pizza."
Marge: "But we won."
Lionel: "Oh, that's ok. The pizza box was empty."
Here are some more Lionel Hutz quotes:
"Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog...Well,
replace 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and 'dog' with 'son'"
"Mr. Simpson, the State Bar Association forbids me from promising you a
big cash
settlement, but just between you and me, I promise YOU a BIG cash
settlement." - JOHN HERING
"Adequate. Having Adequatulence." - JP XENAKIS
Here are some more from Troy McClure:
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help
videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Some Self Esteem, Stupid'" -
CHRIS DESANTIS
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films
as 'Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun' and 'Firecrackers: The Silent
Killer'."
"Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure. You may remember me from such driver's ed
films as "Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass" and "The
Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot."
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films
as "Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly" and "Here Comes the Metric
System." My job today is to inform you about sex in a straightforward
and serious manner. Now, here's "Fuzzy Bunny's Guide to You-Know-What."
- TRIP KIRKPATRICK
"Hi! I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such
movies as "P' is for Psycho" and "The President's Neck is Missing!" -
MATT YOUNG
(My favorite Phil Hartman character was "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer")
Some more random Phil Hartman quotes:
"Whisky Miss Kerrigan?" - ERIK TUININGA
"Here in prison they are what is commonly called Bitches." - GORDON HADA
"Nahh!" - when playing Frankenstein and singing We Wish You a Merry
Christmas - HARRY HELMICH
"...from Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z..." (as Troy McClure in the "Planet of
the Apes" musical) - JAMES MORRISARD
"On News Radio, the episode in which he's eating all the ancient and
fossilized sandwiches from the office sandwich dispensing machine,
and he LOVES them, because they remind him fondly of his childhood.
He keeps describing thoroughly horrible memories of emotional abuse
and other dysfunction, but to him they are wonderful because it's his
childhood. Every time he described another ghastly memory, he just
smiled and sighed: "Ah, good times." - JONATHAN COLAN
"Ah... Good times." - PEG WARNER
"I liked all of the Electric Massage Chair episode on Newsradio." -
MILLIE PERRINE
(Indeedy, that was one funny episode. I have gone on record here on the
DQ as saying that "News Radio" is one of the funniest shows on TV (not
saying much these days, but...) and it will be interesting to see if
they can keep the show going without Phil.)
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/01/98
Date: Tue, 02 Jun 1998 09:22:16 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/01/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JAMES FLINT!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
ALLEN BORN
JONATHAN COLAN
NINA DANG
JOHN HERING
NATE RIPPEL
PAUL SCHISHLER
MELISSA SINUNU
and
SALLY STENGEL (Welcome back, Sally!!)
(Did you see the U.S. soccer team play Scotland Saturday on ABC? That
was our own BYRON KERR doing the player introductions! Rock on, Byron!)
These contestants will receive an all-expense paid trip to historic
Spotsylvania, VA, home of Stonewall Jackson's arm. Dig:
"SPOTSYLVANIA, Va. (AP) -- The National Park Service, responding to the
interest of Civil War buffs, is making it easier to find the spot where
Stonewall Jackson's arm is buried."
Cool! Have fun!!
1. What is the process of boiling a liquid and collecting the vapors
called?
(Lots of bong hit jokes here. I'd expect nothing less.)
Speaking of drugs, have you seen the HBO movie "Gia" yet? It rocks.
And ya know the blonde girl that Gia falls in love with? She was in my
acting class in L.A.! I shoulda stayed.
Correct Answer: "Distillation"
Note to JOEL PFYFFER: What you described is a "Dutch Oven".
"I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure it was what made Welch's
preserves so
great." - PEG WARNER (I though it was "love", but maybe it was the
distilling. Definitely not Dutch Ovens.)
Also Accepted: "Moonshinin' (just like James Earl Jones helped out with
in last night's CBS/Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation "What the Deaf
Man Heard," starring Matthew Modine as a man who pretends to be deaf and
mute. Oh, the hilarity!)" - TRIP KIRKPATRICK
"OK, I racked my brains and this one just will not come to me. I know I
did this in high school chem class. It's probably got something to do
with how I created Oxygen for my chem project, BUT MY MIND IS BLOCKING
IT OUT! Damn. Damn, damn." - JENNIFER BIENEMAN (Ah, hell, close
enough.)
Why does Trip get credit for that? I do not know. I only know that he
has a gift.
2. What group of mythological sisters, representing the arts, taught
the Sphinx its riddle?
Correct Answer: "The Muses" (Sally, Barbara and Linda Muse, to be
exact.)
(I must admit that I never really knew what a Muse was until I saw "The
Doors" and Val Kilmer says to Meg Ryan "You're my Muse.")
3. According to Conan the Barbarian, the three things that are best in
life are: Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and what
else?
"Know how to violate your woman." - KRISTIN MATUSHAK (This is incorrect,
but it's such darn good advice that I'm gonna go ahead and give Kristin
credit.)
"Wear small leather underpants" - KATE KIRKPATRICK (No, Kate, actually
this is one of the NECESSETIES of life as a barbarian. You see, in
battle, baggy cotton briefs can snag on a mace or pike. Small leather
underpants were uncomfortable, but very functional.
Some of you came soooo close, but only an elite few of you got this one.
Correct Answer: "Hear the lamentations of the women." (One of the best
lines of all time
in any movie.) - DAN RIPPEL
It sure is! Bucky Bridges used to say this line all the time during
wrestling practice in high school. It motivated me SO much. (Not so
much that I ever actually WON A MATCH or anything, but still...)
However, I did have to also accept: "An MLT--mutton, lettuce and
tomato, when the mutton is nice and lean--umm, they're so perky." -
ELISSA JACKSON, SCOTT BAGER
4. What wheeled vehicle is Milwaukee, Wisconsin best known for?
Correct Answer: "Harley-Davidson motorcycles"
Our own LEETO TLOU is a proud owner of a Harley-Davidson FLSTF Fat Boy!
Roll on, Leeto!
Both JP XENAKIS and CRAIG STACEY said "The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile."
Gotta give credit for that, too.
5. Name the movie:
"The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth,
five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two
thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to
widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation.
It's bullshit. You got ninety percent of the American public out there
with little or no net worth. I create nothing. I own."
"Wall Street. Wait...no no no........Strange Brew." - BRIAN MAGUIRE
(Ooh, you had it right the first time. No points para ti!)
Correct Answer: "Wall Street, uttered by the immortal Gordan Gecko (an
actual gecko
roaming free in our house, and dubbed "Gordan Gecko", was the mascot
of my college eating club [our version of a fraternity])."
6. In automobiles, what does a "Standard H" refer to?
Correct Answer: "The gearshift pattern (top left, 1st; bottom left,
2nd; etc..)" - CHAD HELTON
7. Who said "Old soldiers never die, they just slowly fade away."?
"My grandfather says that all the time. What's not mentioned is that
while slowly fading, they constantly repeat the same story about having
to re-use coffee ground when your unit was on the move in W.W.II. " - JP
XENAKIS
Correct Answer: "Gen. Douglas McArthur, who, by the way, is originally
from my hometown of
Norfolk, VA and is buried there." - SANDI ROTHMAN
I did not know that!
8. What was the Bush's dog's name when they were in the White House?
Correct Answer: "Millie"
"Oddly enough, the Bush's dog's name is still Millie, even though
they don't live in the White House anymore." - TOM BAKER (Listen here,
you smartass little punk, the dog's name is NOT "Millie", cuz Millie is
deader'n disco.)
(I'm sorry. I loved that dog.)
Also Accepted: "Taxes. When Bush said "Read my lips, no new Taxes", he
meant that
he wouldn't breed his dog." - CHRIS DESANTIS
9. In what war did the United States lose the most men?
Correct Answer: "The Civil War" (WWII comes in second.)
"My gut tells me to say the Civil War. But I am going with Nam." -
BRIAN MAGUIRE (Brian, ain't you took the SAT's, man? Go with that gut
instinct, tiger, that's two ya blew.)
I don't know the exact figures for all the wars, but it was on TV over
Memorial Day. Something like five or six hundred thousand for the Civil
War and four hundred thousand for WWII. ("Only" 50,000 or so died in
Vietnam.)
DQ Not-So-FunFact: Almost as many U.S. soldiers died in the three years
of the Korean War as did in the TEN years of the Vietnam War.
10. What group was Eldridge Cleaver the leader of?
Correct Answer: "The Black Panthers"
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/02/98
Date: Wed, 03 Jun 1998 12:15:35 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/02/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JAMES FLINT!! *
* *
**************************
Before we begin, I'm afraid that I have the unpleasant duty of
announcing a suspension. WAHOOOO!!!!
JON DAVID, for crimes against the QuizMaster, including Insubordination,
Willful Misconduct, and Bitching, you have been sentenced to THREE days
of suspension.
So it is written. So shall it be.
Today's Big Winners:
BRIAN BEARD
TRACY GOEBEL
DAWN KENNEALY
JAMES MALONEY
LAURA MENARD
VICTORIA PETERSEN
NATE RIPPEL
and
BYRON KERR!!
(Byron's getting me free tix to a couple United games, since he's the PA
Announcer. And star forward.)
Today's winners will receive free tix to a couple United games!
Way to go!
Sorry the answers are a tad sparse today. I got deeee-runky at the O's
game yesterday, and am running a little behind.
1. What is the primary source of heat on Earth?
Every now and then I try to throw a really, really, REEEEEALLY easy one
your way just to watch y'all screw it up. This wasn't a trick
question. The answer is, of course:
"Dutch Ovens"
Actually, it's the Sun, but a few of you said "Dutch Ovens" and that's a
really good answer. If you don't know what a Dutch Oven is, ask your
boss during an important client meeting. After you learn what they are
you won't be wanting to eat at any restaurants in Holland anytime soon,
I'll tell ya that.
Also accepted: "Carmen Electra" - JP XENAKIS
2. Where would you find the "Frozen Chosin"?
Correct Answer: "North Korea" (The Chosin Reservoir was the site of a
major siege of the Korean War in which thousands of men froze to death.)
I gotta get off these bummer war questions.
3. What movie told the story of the billion-dollar buyout of RJR
Nabisco?
Correct Answer: "Book and movie, both titled 'Barbarians at the Gate'
(hardcover and trade paperback books, as well as abridged audiocassette
version available from HarperCollins Publishers-- nudge nudge wink
wink)- TRIP KIRKPATRICK, HarperCollins Publishing
4. Those kooky Seven Chinese Brothers had some pretty nifty skills.
Name FOUR of them. Now! NOOWWWWW!!! (Good heavens, I'm sorry. Need
my coffee.)
Ah, how soon we forget the great Chinese folktales of our youth! This
children's story involved seven Chinese brothers (duh) who each
possessed some pretty unique skills. One of them was sentenced to death
for drowning this little kid who wouldn't stop gathering fish from the
ocean floor after the guy sucked all the water out.
I guess I should have been more clear, but I thought that you all would
know that I wanted you to name the skills, not the brothers. In any
event, here are the different skills:
- One could withstand extreme heat.
- One could hold his breathe for a really long time.
- One could take huge amounts of water in his mouth. (I can do this with
curly fries.)
- One could stretch his legs really far.
- One had skin so hard that you couldn't cut him.
- Invisible?
- And, um...I actually don't know them all. Well, that's why I only had
you name four.
Also accepted:
"-Able to oppress Tibet in a single bound.
-Pretty damn impressive ability to run over college students with a
tank.
-Ancestor worship (not so much an ability as a foolish pastime).
-Running the Hong Kong economy into the ground." - JONATHAN COLAN
5. According to the movie "The Doors", the people at Ed Sullivan's show
wanted Jim to change the lyrics to "Light My Fire" from "Girl we
couldn't get much higher" to what?
Correct Answer: "Girl we couldn't get much better."
Thanks to MATT GEORGE for this Simpsons quote taken from the episode
where the Red Hot Chili Peppers performed on Krusty's show:
Krusty the Clown: "Uh, guys? We have a problem with your lyrics and we
need to change them."
Anthony Kidas: "No way, man! Our lyrics are sacred!"
Krusty: "Okay, but just think about instead of 'What I got I gotta get
it put it in you,' try 'What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss you.'"
Flea: "Hey! That's much better! Everyone can enjoy that!"
6.
"Whose woods these are I think I know
His house is in the village though
My horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near..."
Robert Frost "Stopping in the Woods on a Snowy Evening" (or something,
not real sure of any of these.)
7.
"Stop all the clocks, the telephone
keep the dog from barking with a juicy bone
He was my North, my South, my East and West
My working week and my Sunday rest..."
W.H. Auden "Funeral Blues" (And yup, it's the one from "Four Weddings
and a Funeral", which I did NOT know would be on USA last night.)
Could Not Accept: "Wallace Stevens. I Left My Wallet In El Segundo" -
SHANE SLEIGHTER
8.
"How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways
I love thee ..."
Elizabeth Barret Browning (or something.)
9. Who holds the record for the most post-season points in the NBA?
Correct Answer: "Michael Jordan"
10. What Middle Eastern leader's name can be rearranged to spell the
following?
"Hi, Mute! Banana, Jenny?"
or even
"I methane jab any nun."
Correct Answer: "Benjamin Netanyahu"
Also Accepted:
"Majabahenn Nituyen" - MELISSA BOWEN
"Banynime Thujnaane" - CHRIS MENARD
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/03/98
Date: Thu, 04 Jun 1998 10:06:18 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/03/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JAMES FLINT!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
SEAN BOYLE
JIM GILKESON
SHRIVER HERING
LESLIE MARIA
HEATHER MAST
CHARLES MASSEY
VICKI ROBERTS
CRAIG STACEY
PEG WARNER
and
KATHY WILLIAMSON
These contestants win this fat, fluffy cat I found who answers to
"Dusk".
Way to go!
1. In one of his songs Jon Bon Jovi claims to be a cowboy. What kind
of horse does he say he rides?
"A steel horse high rise which I think might be a dildo? Lil help?" -
JAMES MALONEY
James, I cannot give you kind of help you require.
Correct Answer: "Steel" (When this song came out I was like "A steel
horse? Does he mean that the horse has armor or something, like a
knight's horse?" I realize now that he means that he built a ROBOT
horse out of steel, and he rides it.)
2. How do you kill a werewolf?
Q: How many contestants does it take to come up with 80 "Coors Light
Silver Bullet" jokes?
A: 80
"With really bad breath." - CHRIS DESANTIS (hmmm, now that you mention
it, Chris, I never do see werewolves around you.)
"It depends on the movie. Most of the time, werewolves can be killed by
a
silver bullet, as in the movie "Silver Bullet." In other movies, such
as
the classic "The Wolf Man", any silver object will do. In "The Wolf
Man", I
believe Lon Chaney Jr's father simply beat him to death with a silver
tiped
cane. In "Wolf", "An American Werewolf in London", and "Frankenstein
Meets
the Wolf Man" it is possible to simply shoot a werewolf to death with
regular old bullets. Although it hasn't been included in any movie I've
ever seen, I've got to assume that if a werewolf somehow fell into a
spinning helicoptor blade, that he/she probably wouldn't be drinking any
more Ovaltine either." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
Did anybody pick up on that subtle John Landis reference there? See,
John Landis directed "An American Werewolf in London". And then Shane
talks about falling into spinning helicopter blades. And John Landis
directed "Twilight Zone: The Movie", during the filming of which there
was an accident where actor Vic Morrow was chopped up by spinning
helicopter blades. And Vic Morrow's daughter was Jennifer Jason Leigh,
who starred as Stacey in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" with Sean Penn.
Sean Penn starred in "Taps". And that brings us back to Kevin Bacon,
who starred in "Taps" with Sean Penn.
3. Name the movie:
"I race cars, I play tennis, I fondle women, but I have weekends off and
I am my own boss."
"The Unbearable Lightness of Being." - CRAIG STACEY (SO close!)
"House Party 3" - GEORGE PATCH
Correct Answer: "Arthur"
4. What did conservatives used to call "The symbol of the American
Chicken"?
"Frank Perdue" - Lots of you.
"draft dodgers and protesters" - SCOTT BAGER
Scott! How could you get this wrong? You were the one wearing the
t-shirt with the PEACE SYMBOL (the correct answer) on it when we were in
the army and our Sergeant Major came up and said "What chew wearin' the
symbol of the American chicken fer?"
Very few of you got "Peace Sign". Here's who did:
STEVE BOSWELL
NINA DANG
CHRIS DESANTIS
JENNIFER KOSS
TRIP KIRKPATRICK
and
GLENDA SIMMONS
5. What kind of torpedoes does the starship Enterprise fire?
"Hmm, that depends on which Enterprise you are talking about. I believe
A-D
fired Photon torpedoes. Enterprise E could fire Quantum torps
(supposedly
super powerful)." - PAT GEORGE
May God have mercy on your soul.
6. Who was voted MVP for the women's U.S. national soccer team this
year?
"There's a women's U.S. national soccer team??" - DAVE HAGLER
"Me! And, dammit, I earned it!" - CRAIG STACEY (Hey, attaboy!)
Correct Answer: "Mia Hamm"
Also Accepted: "Craig Stacey"
7. What word describes glass that allows light but not images to pass
through it?
"I know this one, I just can't remember it right now, but it will come
to
me about 4 am tomorrow morning." - BRIAN BEARD
(This brings up an important point. If you do get an answer in the
middle of the night, feel free to give me a call at home and answer it
then. My number is (703) 538-4737.)
8. Who wrote "...we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men
are created equal, blah, blah, blah..."?
"I don't know about the first part, but the blah, blah, blah was Kurt
Cobain." - BRYAN MAGUIRE
"Abe Lincoln. Sad but true: the only reason I remember is because of
Kindergarten Cop starring Arnold Schwarzenager. One of the last scenes
was
all of his students dressed as Abe Lincoln reciting the Emancipation
Proclamation. This not something I am proud of." - ANGELICA PENA VAUGHN
No, it probably shouldn't be, Angelica. That wasn't the Emancipation
Proclamation.
Correct Answer: "Thomas Jefferson"
9. What was the name of that 1970's TV show about a guy who was accused
of a crime he didn't commit and fled to the wilderness where he
befriended one big-ass bear?
Correct Answer: "The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams" (Few people
remember the spin-off where the bear moves in with two chics in LA. One
chic was hot, but dumb, and the other was not hot, and also dumb. The
bear ended up eating the two chics in the pilot epsiode, so the
producers recast John Ritter as the male roommate and Joyce DeWitt and
Suzanne Summers as the chics.) - ERIK TUININGA
10. If you could befriend a big-ass animal, what would it be, why, and
what would you name it?
"Actually, I befriended a few at JMU. And they already had names. And
I will refrain from mentioning them for fear of incriminating myself and
others." - TRIP MORANO
"African elephant named Cha-Ching because I could make a killing selling
it for parts on the black market."- JP XENAKIS
"Dinosaur, because it could blow fire." - AIMEE SANGSTER (Ah yes, the
magnificent fire-breathing dinosaur...)
"Probably a huge cow, named "crankshaft," cuz I like that word, and if I
got hungry, I could eat it." - HARRIS KAY
"My big-ass animal friend would be a big-ass polar bear named
Fluffy.....cause really, who would mess with me if I had a big-ass polar
bear friend named Fluffy?" - HEATHER MAST
"I don't really like animals. However, if I could befriend an animal
and it had to be a big ass animal, it would probably be a whale. This
is because they live in the water, so I wouldn't have to take him out or
walk him or anything, and they have that nifty blow hole, which, lets
face it, is just a cool name for a body part." - REBECCA DICK
"What: lion
Why: because all they do is eat, sleep and have sex
Name: My Idol (NOT to be confused with Midol)
NOTE: Not that I am into beastiality, but if I am befriending an animal
like that, we could make the strech that I could teach it paw sign
lanuage-- maybe he could give me a few tips (and I have the eating and
sleeping thing down...)." - MEREDITH LINBERGER
"I'd adopt Big Foot, I'd name him Harry and wait for Hollywood to
come knocking on our door for the new WB show Harry and the Sinunu's." -
MELISSA SINUNU
"If I could befriend a big-ass animal, it would be a hippo. I like
hippos. They have really big mouths and are always eating (hence their
large stature). I would befriend him so he could capsize SCOTT AGEE's
fishing boat and eat him. That would make me laugh. I would name him
'Chomps'." - MATT YOUNG
...and finally, the saddest answer we here at DQ Headquarters have ever
read:
"I would befriend my beloved cat, who has been missing for more than two
months (when this indoor feline got out of the apartment to go exploring
in the building and was put outside by an idiot tenant who thought he
was a stray; this all happened four months after we moved to a new
town); but has recently reappeared in the yard behind my apartment
building with no apparent intention of remembering that I fed him,
petted him and gave him shelter for all but 8 weeks of his 11 and a half
years of life; and who is really big-ass now, probably because he's been
adopted and fed by some idiot family that doesn't know how to place a
"found" ad and hasn't checked the papers for my "lost" ads or seen the
posters I've tacked up around the neighborhood and doesn't care that for
the past two months I've been walking around the neighborhood at all
hours looking for him or sleeping in my car facing the yard in hopes
that he'll show up. Not that I'm ungrateful that they've at least
treated him well. I would befriend him because I miss having him annoy
me while I'm reading the paper or working at the computer, and purring
on the pillow beside my head. I would again name him 'Dusk'." - PEG
WARNER
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/04/98
Date: Mon, 08 Jun 1998 11:28:33 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/04/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MARK GORMAN!! *
* *
**************************
This weeks C.O.W., MARK GORMAN, is a relative new-comer to the Daily
Quiz in that he is a new-comer and he is a relative. He is my older
cousin, the son of my father's sister. Also the brother of my cousin,
and the grandson of my grandmother, but that's not important right now.
What *is* important is that his guy CRIES AT WEDDINGS!! (Now, you gotta
promise that this is gonna stay between us, OK? cuz I told him that I
wouldn't let it get around.) But, yeah, this past weekend we were up in
Ohio for my cousin, Nekko's, wedding and ol' Mark was sittin' next to me
just a-bawlin' and a-sobbin'. Then, when we got out of the car and went
into the church it got even worse!
Mark is a (mis)guidance counselor at a junior high in Newport, Rhode
Island. (The birthplace of the QuizMaster.) (Newport, not the junior
high.) He enjoys fishing, hunting, sailing and shooting craps with the
kids behind the school.
Way to go, Mark!
Today's Big Winners:
JENNIFER ANASTASI
SARA BRADLEY
JIM GILKESON
HEATHER MAST
GEORGE PATCH
MELISSA SINUNU (Our new West Coast Social Coordinator!)
DEVON TUTAK
MICHELLE WAGNER
and
MATT YOUNG
These contestants will receive one free slowdance with SHANE SLEIGHTER
at this week's DQ Happy Hour. Naturally, we have a different prize if
you are a male Big Winner. You will receive two slowdances with Shane.
1. What L.A. club does Cindy Crawford's new hubby own?
"The Blue Oyster" - PAT GEORGE, TONY PUGLIESE
"I thought it was a pet store specializing in 'erotic' pets....oh wait
that was her first husband." - LISA FLINT (Ah, the ol' Richard
Gere/Hamster rumor pokes it's head out again . Is this
rumor true? Who cares?! It's darn funny.)
"Mickey Mouse" - JAMES MALONEY
Correct Answer: "The Sky Bar at the Mondrian Hotel. This is a great
place to see stars. The last time I was there I saw Jake from Body by
Jake and Noah from 90210. My friend, Sara, saw Terry Bradshaw from the
Pittsburgh Steelers." - TRACY GOEBEL
The only thing I ever saw there was 12 dollar martinis.
2. Who was the mythological Gorgon that could turn people into stone if
they looked at her?
LEETO TLOU, harkens back to 1988, with "My last date."
Correct Answer: "Actually, there were three. You probably want Medusa,
but there were also Euryale and Stheno" - REBECCA DICK (Yeah, well, I
meant the Gorgon that you didn't have to look up on the Web for.)
Then again, some people culled their movie memories:
"Her name was Medusa. Interestingly enough, she had two sisters, who
could also turn people into stone. I can't remember their names,
however, I DO remember that they had boar-like faces, bat wings and they
could fly. However, they didn't leak like a crushed tube of red Aim
toothpaste when Harry Hamlin loped their heads off." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
"Medusa (thank you o Clash of the Titans)" - ELISSA JACKSON
3. What small deserts got their name from the French for "little oven"?
You lost sooooo many points if you mentioned that I spelled "desserts"
wrong, cuz that really hurts my feelings.
"I hope it's Bon Bons, I love Bon Bons." - LEETO TLOU (It's true. He
really does love Bon Bons.)
Correct Answer: "Petit fors"
Also Accepted: "Bon Bons"
Also Accepted: "les ovenes petites desertoix" - LESLIE MARIA
4. Name the movie: (Admittedly, this is a difficult one. But try,
lil' pookie, TRY!)
"I'll be here every day for life, plus 30 years, if I live that long."
Also, from the same movie:
"You aren't really anybody in America if you're not on TV."
Golly, like half of you said "Natural Born Killers". I really hated
that movie.
So you lost two points.
Correct Answer: "To Die For"
5. What U.S. national railroad passenger corp. was originally called
Railpax?
Correct Answer: "Amtrak"
6. What artist was made famous through his Saturday Evening Post
covers?
"I can't remember his name, but they're all those homey, American life
things. In that Chevy Chase movie when he moves to the country and
everything's a disaster, so he tries to sell the house, he pays all the
people of the town to act like a ____ cover. - ELISSA JACKSON (Elissa,
that's "Funny Farm", a great flick. Remember Andy the squirrel? The
nutty mailman? Hoo!)
Oh, the correct answer is "Norman Rockwell"
7. In what country will you spend 200 drachma for a copy of the Tommy
and Pamela Lee video?
Correct Answer: "Greece"
Many of you pointed out that 200 drachma is about 85 cents. Don't you
think I know that?? OK, I didn't know that.
8. In what sport would you use a scull?
Correct Answer: "Rowing. I'm from St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada.
Not only the oldest city in North America, not only the most easterly
city in North America, but home to the oldest annual sporting even in
North America, the Royal St. John's Regatta. It also has the
distinction of being the only weather-permitting holiday that I know of,
being held on the first Wednesday of August, or the first rowing-worthy
day thereafter, depending on the weather." - CRAIG STACEY
9. Name the movie:
"You gonna wire it all 220?"
"Yeah, 220, 221-whatever it takes."
Correct Answer: "Mr. Mom"
10. What's the difference between a G-string and thong?
Wow! Some of you have really put some thought into this!
Most Concise Answer: "Dental Floss vs. a Wedgie" - JENNIFER ANASTASI
"I look spectacular wearing either one." - ROB WAGNER
"If you spill something on a G-string it's a G-spot, if you spill it on
a thong it's just a spot." - JUSTIN RAINEY
"If a woman wears such paraphernalia because she's required to do so,
it's called a G-string. If she wears it because she wants to, it's
called a thong. - SHRIVE HERING
"A thong is also good to use for tossing salads." - GLENDA SIMMONS (Oh
Glenda...)
"You can't see the G-String."- PAT GEORGE (Pat, with some of your
girlfriends you couldn't see boxer shorts.)
"Admittedly, I'm no expert, but I believe that a thong takes advantage
of the natural divide between buttocks in order to minimize visible
panty lines (VPL). In contrast, a g-string....oh, hell, I have no
idea. I'm an economist for God's sake!" - TOM BAKER (Close enough.)
"A thong provides more coverage, as it were, than the g-string, which is
literally a triangle of fabric joined together by very thin y-shaped
straps. The former might be considered everyday wear and serves a
mostly underclothing role, facilitating the eradication of dreaded
"panty lines" The latter is more of an outerwear or special occasion
item, used for dancing club exhibitions, private seductions or beachwear
in Latin American nations. Experience teaches many that a G-string is
more likely to become uncomfortably lodged in folds of skin in the
female nether regions, while thongs are less likely to create this
situation. Many people mistakenly use the two terms to mean clothing
for one's lower half that has fabric wedged between the buttocks but
this is simply not true, as the preceding explanation illustrates. I
have had particularly good experience with a line of microfiber thongs
from Victoria's Secret that do not have loathsome lace detailing and
which seem to strike the right amoung of fabric in the thong area so
that one does not feel that one is either sitting on rather sharp dental
floss or stringing a tablecloth up one's derriere." - KATE KIRKPATRICK
"It would be easier just to show you that I have a thong on today and a
G-string yesterday....but that option isn't available over the
internet!" - MEREDITH LINBERGER (Meredith, someday technology is going
to catch up with us. )
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/05/98
Date: Mon, 08 Jun 1998 22:36:54 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/05/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MARK GORMAN!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
NINA DANG
CABE FRANKLIN
MICHAEL KOZNARSKY
MELISSA MANGUM
ANGIE MARCIANO
DAVID QUINN
SALLY STENGEL
and
ROB WAGNER
These contestants win 8 pounds of ground beef, which MAY or may NOT
contain 100% ground beef. 'Least, that's what Lea Thompson's tellin'
me.
Way to go!
PJ HENRY wins a special award for consistently submitting answers that I
can never print as long as my relatives are receiving this.
1. What connects arteries and veins?
Correct Answer: "Arterioles, then capillaries and finally venules." -
MICHAEL KOZNARSKY (Med School student) and BILL TYRRELL (Veterinary
Cardiologist).
I thought the answer was just "Capillaries". This is why is rarely ask
anatomy questions.
Also Accepted:
"Capillaries, but also a sense of brotherhood shared by all by parts of
the human body, secure in the knowledge that life, in all its forms is
precious. Except of course for that rat bastard freeloader, the
appendix." - JONATHAN COLAN
2. How long is four score and seven years?
Correct Answer: "87 - I got this by subtracting, the date our fathers
brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal, from
1863. But I could not remember that a score was 20." - PJ HENRY
3. What gas is a byproduct of photosynthesis?
Correct Answer: "Oxygen"
4. What director had to flee the country to avoid rape charges?
Correct Answer: "Roman Polanski"
5. What is the Hawkeye State?
Correct Answer: "Iowa. Coming from a Canadian, I should win a huuuuge
prize for knowing this." - CATHIE WALKER
(Yes, Cathie, because you came from a Canadian you win a huge prize.
You will receive...AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP!! That's right, no longer will
you have to suffer the indignation of living in a country referred to as
"Mexico North"! No more will you go out for Canadian food and then
realize that there's no such thing. Cathie, your days of dreaming of
leaving "The 51st State" are over! You are an American. Here is your
gun. Welcome!)
6. What was the first aquatic Olympic sport in which men and women
could compete against each other?
"Wet T-Shirt Contest" - CHRIS BLILEY (In the Goodwill Games, yes, but in
the Olympics men and women still compete separately in this event.)
Correct Answer: "Yachting"
VERY few of you got this.
7. Name the movie:
"Would ya look at the size of that kid's head! It's the size of a
planetoid and it has it's own weather system! Looks like an orange on a
toothpick! I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik--spherical
but quite pointy at parts! Aye, now that was offsides, now wasn't it?
He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow."
Correct Answer: "So I Married an Axe Murderer"
"Woman! Whoa, man!" - CRAIG STACEY
8. Earth's "Glacial Period" is more commonly known as what?
Correct Answer: "The Ice Age, (actually, the brief time that my friend
Lee Song was in the same room as Susanna Choy. We both later commented
how much the room temperature had dropped. They had what could best be
described as an 'endothermic relationship'.)" - CHARLES MASSEY
This answer isn't particularly remarkable except that it occurred to me
that if Lee married Sussanna she would become Susanna Song and that was
my favorite John Denver tune.
Wait, that was "Annie's Song". Never mind. Gimme those points back,
Charles.
9. What actor sued his dead son's drug dealer?
Correct Answer: "Carroll O'Connor"
10. Which one of the following items is *not* actually listed on the
menu of the Chinese Fortune restaurant near my office?
A. Whole Fish in Brown Sauce
B. Family Delight
C. Crispy Shrimp with Head
D. Chicken in Tangy Juice
"I'd like the fish, please. And can I have a WHOLE fish? (I want the
fish head, too)."
"Sure, we've got that. How do you like your sauce?"
"Brown."
"OK, that's one whole fish in brown sauce."
I'm afraid that they have that.
A lot of you thought it was C. "Crispy Shrimp with Head", but that item
is actually on the menu. So many jokes here, but you've probably
already thought of them yourself.
Correct Answer: D! There is no Chicken in Tangy Juice. But there
really should be, I think.
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/08/98
Date: Tue, 09 Jun 1998 11:27:36 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/08/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MARK GORMAN!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
SCOTT MELL
CRAIG STACEY
TISHA STACEY
ELISSA JACKSON
TOM O'REILLY
RONALD ROSIER
MELISSA SINUNU
and
DEVON TUTAK
Today's winners will receive all the FREE beer they can drink at Bardo
this Friday!!
Way to go!
1. Name the Movie:
"You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I
coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face
it. It was you, Charlie."
"A Street Car Named Nell Carter." - SCOTT BAGER
"I want to say 'On the Waterfront', but I wouldn't put money on it." -
JEN MOYER
Correct Answer: "On the Waterfront"
Shoulda put money on it, Jen.
2. What is the most Easterly city in North America?
Correct Answer: "St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada - see? I read my
Daily Answers EVERY day!" - KATHY WILLIAMSON
(See, Kathy? I read your answers every day, too!)
"St. John's, Newfoundland the City of Legends, and North America's
oldest city. Perched on the sides of the hills surrounding St. John's
harbour, and often wreathed in the misty fog that drifts in off the
North Atlantic, St. John's is steeped in history... and the
paranormal... Dark alleys and laneways wind through the heart of the
historic downtown area, and in the shadows lurk the shades of
yesteryear. Walking through the town, one is surrounded by the memories
of public hangings, duels, and horrific murders, passing over forgotten
cemeteries and unmarked graves, past buildings known to be visited by
those who have passed over to the other side... Vengeful lovers,
murdered soldiers, and mysterious fires await those who are brave enough
to explore the secrets that lie in wait in St. John's darkest corners."
- JOEL PFYFFER
If you got this one wrong you are not reading your Daily Answers for
content, as we talked about it last time.
3. Are you planning to attend the First DQ Happy Hour at Bardo in
Arlington, VA this Friday @ 7:00 p.m.?
By far, the worst answer was this one, whose owner will remain
anonymous: "When and where is it?"
It looks like we'll have a pretty decent crowd. (Decent in size, that
is. Morally, we are a hurtin' group.) I will send out directions this
week.
Most Unenthusiastic Answer: "It's not like I have anything else to do."
- ZAK MAHSHIE
DQ "Bless Your Heart" Award: "I'm underage." - DEVON TUTAK
"No. I have a prior drinking engagement every Friday at the beach. Why
don't you have a DQ happy hour during the week. Or, even better, I'd be
happy to host the first DQ beach happy hour weekend at my beach house.
This will not only give everyone the chance to meet fellow contestants,
but we will get to see fellow contestants in bikinis." -
Correct Answer: "Yes"
Could Not Accept:
"No"
"Maybe"
"Can we have a Jersey Version?" - JP XENAKIS (No. No you cannot.)
"Can we have a West Coast version?" MELISSA SINUNU (Absolutely,
Melissa! I know that out West we have ANGELICA PENA VAUGHN, SCOTT MELL,
MIKE MORRIS, ELISSA SINUNU, KAREN SCHULSTAD, BIRGITT TANGERMANN, ANDREA
IMPARATO. Anyone else out that way? San Diego? L.A.? Drop Melissa a
note at [email protected].
Perhaps I'll be able to make that party, too.
4. This question comes from Mr. JOHN HERING: Willy Wonka makes an
extra fruit shape for Chewy Runts that they don't make for Crunchy
Runts. What is it?
"Snozenberries" - MEREDITH LINBERGER (Nope, they've got snozenberry
shapes in both.)
Correct Answer: "Grape"
Could Not Accept:
"Blueberry fat girl." - JP XENAKIS
5. Name the movie:
"I ain't never killed no one before that, Will."
"Well, you sure killed the hell outta that guy."
Also, from the same movie:
"You just shot an unarmed man!"
"He shoulda armed himself."
Correct Answer: "Unforgiven"
6. Who is the president of South Africa?
"I want to say Nelson Mandela, but I really don't know." - JEN MOYER
Correct Answer: "Nelson Mandela"
Jen, ya gotta go with your gut instincts.
7. What is the longest river in the world?
Correct Answer: "Nile"
8. What are those miniature Japanese trees called?
Correct Answer: "Bonsai"
9. What's the "industry" term for a movie preview?
I should've been a little clearer here. I was asking about the movie
commercials, not sneak previews. In any event, the correct answer here
is "Trailer".
10. What's the only wood that doesn't float?
"Iron wood (I'm sure there's some biological name that the web surfer's
will put down, but I know it's nickname is this)" - WILLIAM WALLACE,
DEVON TUTAK
"My buddy's Big Bertha Metal-Wood that he threw into the pond in front
of the 18th green of the Rutgers University Golf Course." - JP XENAKIS
"Morning wood." - TRIP MORANO
"Ebony" - MICHELLE WAGNER
Correct Answer: "Natalie Wood"
Have a super day!
Dave
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/09/98
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 11:15:10 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Quiz
06/09/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MARK GORMAN!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
JONATHAN COLAN
REBECCA DICK
PAT GEORGE
ANDREA IMPARATO (Born in Newport, RI! Woo-Hoo!!)
KATHRINE KIRBY
KEN LIFLAND
MICHAEL ROLFES
MELISSA SINUNU
and
SALLY STENGEL
These contestants will receive an official Washington Capitals - 1998
Stanley Cup Champions t-shirt.
Way to go!!
Note to PETER MCGRATH: We here at DQ Headquarters care very much that
you cannot attend the DQ Happy Hour. But can't just YOU go to Iowa and
visit SHERRY HULSEBUS'S family and let Sherry come to the party??
1. What did Cliff Clavin do for a living?
Correct Answer:
"He was a mailman.
He lived with his mom.
He once played on Jeopardy.
He believed that dust was actually dead skin that had rubbed off.
He remembered stupid, useless facts." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
(I must admit that it took me a while to get the joke, Shane.)
2. What is the name given to the fear of foreigners?
"Taxiphobia" - JP XENAKIS
"The fear of spiders from other countries is Arachnaxenophobia)" - DAVE
MARIA
Correct Answer: "Xenophobia"
(I counted 11 "Xena: Warrior Princess" jokes! A record!)
3. What were they hauling in the back of the truck in "Smokey and the
Bandit"?
"Thongs" - KATE KIRKPATRICK
Correct Answer: "Coors beer"
"They are thirsty in Atlanta and there is beer in Texarkana." - MELISSA
SINUNU
Incorrect Answer:
"In the original Smokey and the Bandit they were hauling Swiss Miss
Pudding Bars. In the sequel, they were hauling an elephant. The
Pudding Bars were not made by the elephant. I like pudding." - SHANE
SLEIGHTER
"Muppets. Thousands of 'em." - CRAIG STACEY
"Furniture? or Pigs? those are classics." - Simon Gomez (Simon, what are
classics? Furniture and pigs, or the "Smokey and the Bandit" movies?)
(This is as good a place as any to welcome a gen-yoo-ine foreigner to
the Daily Quiz. Simon is from...damn, where are you from again, Simon? I
can't find the email from the guy who added you. Well, let's say
"Venezuela", cuz that rings a bell. In any event, welcome! I promise
to make fun of your English whenever possible. (I make fun of everyone
else's, and it's their native tongue.)
4. What Swiss mountain is represented at Disneyland?
Correct Answer: "The Matterhorn"
5. In what building is the Vice President's office?
Correct Answer: "Old Executive Office Building"
Also Accepted: "White House" (But that is not his primary office.)
How do I know this? Because I served as Vice President from 1974 -
1976.
(Just kidding. I didn't really.)
6. Where are Dave Letterman's pals Mujibur and sirajul originally from?
"St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada! The easternmost ci... ohwait." -
CRAIG STACEY
Correct Answer: "Bangladesh"
7. What band's lead singer said "F*ck the mainstream!" in his
acceptance speech at the Grammy's a few years ago?
Correct Answer: "U2"
(Tons of Hanson jokes.)
8. What U.S. city did poet Carl Sandburg call "Hog Butcher to the
World"?
"St. John's, Newfou.. oh damn." - CRAIG STACEY
Correct Answer: "CHICAGO (WE JUST READ THE POEM IN AP LANGUAGE,
WOOHOO, IT ACTUALLY CAME IN HANDY FOR ONCE!)" - DEVON TUTAK
Hey, Devon, lose the ALL CAPS or I'll suspend your little 11th grade
ass.
Good Lord! Was that me? I'm sorry, Devon. I remember what it's like
to be in high school. Wait, no I don't, I was blotto.
Note: The QuizMaster's incessant references to alcohol does not in any
way imply an endorsement of this wicked vice. This wicked, sweet,
life-giving vice. Ooooh, come here Mr. Beam, come to papa...
9. Name the movie:
"Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of
order is Mr. Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm
too fuckin' blind. If I were half the man I was five years ago I'd take
a flame-thrower to this place. Out of order. Who the hell do you think
you're talking to? I've been around you know? There was a time I could
see. And I have seen. Boys like these, younger than these, their arms
torn out, their legs ripped off. But there is nothin' like the sight of
an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that. You think you're
merely sending this splendid foot-soldier back home to Oregon with his
tail between his legs but I say that you are executing his soul. And
why? Because he's not a Baird man. Baird men, you hurt this boy, you're
going to be Baird Bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever
you are out there, fuck you too!"
"Scent of a Woman? Probably not but it was also a cursing blind soldier,
wasn't him?" - SIMON GOMEZ (Oh this is gonna be fun.)
Correct Answer: "Scent of a Woman"
You may be wondering, "Dave, did anyone try to do an impression of Al
Pacino's 'Hoo-ah!' from the movie and end up sounding like they were
choking on a waffle?"
Yup, it was WILLIAM WALLACE, who said: "hooagghhh!"
10. According to "Schoolhouse Rock", which number "is a magic number"?
Correct Answer: "3"
Could Not Accept:
"12" - TISHA STACEY
"11" - MICHELLE WAGNER, TODD RIST, SHANE SLEIGHTER
"10" - ELI KAILEY
"9" - WILLIAM WALLACE
"8" - TOM BAKER, PAUL VAN TUYLE
"7" - MARK MURRAY, LEETO TLOU
"6" - JOHN HALDI
"5" - MARK GORMAN
"4" - ED ROSSI
"2" - JEN MOYER
"1" - PAT GEORGE, NATE RIPPEL
"69" - GEORGE PATCH, CARLOS OTAL
"pi" - ZAK MAHSHIE
Go Caps!
Dave
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/10/98
Date: Thu, 11 Jun 1998 10:03:36 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/10/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MARK GORMAN!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
BRIAN BEARD
CABE FRANKLIN
ELISSA JACKSON
CHARLES MASSEY
JAMES MORRISARD!!!
GEORGE PATCH
JOEL PFYFFER
MICHAEL ROLFES
and
PEG "Left-boobed" WARNER
These contestants will receive
1. For what national soccer team do Bebeto and Romario play?
Correct Answer: "Brazil (although TECHNICALLY, Romario is not on the
roster because of injuries!)" - CHRISTINE CHALLAS
CHRIS MENARD offered a question for the QuizMaster:
"How many of these silly questions do we need to endure????"
Correct Answer: "A lot more, now."
2. Name the movie:
"Are you saying that no one in New York will work with me?"
"No, no, that's too limited...no one in Hollywood wants to work with you
either. I can't even send you up for a commercial. You played a *tomato*
and they still went a half day over schedule because you wouldn't sit
down."
"Of course not, it wasn't logical."
"YOU WERE A TOMATO! A tomato doesn't have logic! A tomato can't move!""
"That's what I said, George! If he can't move, how's he gonna sit down?
I was a stand-up tomato, George - a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato!
Nobody does vegetables like me! I did a whole evening of vegetables
off-Broadway! I did the best tomato, the best cucumber! I did an endive
salad that knocked the critics on their ass!"
"If this is not Tootsie, I'll cut off my right boob. (You'd think that
would leave me at a disadvantage, but actually I'm left-boobed." - PEG
WARNER
Correct Answer: "Scent of a Woman" - PAT GEORGE
All right, all right.
Correct Answer: "Tootsie"
Golly, I love this movie. What I enjoyed even more was performing about
half the movie yesterday for VICKI ROBERTS, trying to get her to guess
the movie in our office yesterday. She never got it, which was
surprising, cuz Vicki, like the QuizMaster was raised on TV.
Hey, let's hear it for TV!
WOOOOO!!!!
And let's hear it for those people with "Kill Your Television!" bumper
stickers!
BOOOOOO!!!!
3. What were the names of Columbus's ships?
Hell, everyone got this one. Must've been in a mini-series.
Correct Answer: "Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria"
"According to the movie 'Big' there was a fourth ship. I can't remember
the name." - NATE RIPPEL (Thank you! I've been trying to figure out
where I'd heard that. Knew it couldn't have been a book.)
4. Who said, "It isn't that Liberals are ignorant. It's just that they
know so much that isn't so."?
(Hint: He also said, "I have left orders to be awakened at any time in
case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.")
Correct Answer: "Ronald Reagan"
DEVON TUTAK lost two points for badmouthing the Great Communicator.
Ordinarily, such talk would have landed her a suspension, but she is
young and politically active, blissfully unaware that one person cannot
make a difference.
Now, what to do with these two points I took from Devon??
"The greatest president of all Times RONALD REAGAN!!" - JOEL PFYFFER
Hear you are, Joel. Enjoy them.
5. Who was the first woman in space?
Tons of you said "Sally Ride". She was the first American woman in
space.
"Alice Kramden (launched to the Moon on September 2, 1952)" - JONATHAN
COLAN
Good Answer: "Valentina Tereshkova"
Better Answer: "Some Soviet woman, plucked from the comparative
obscurity of the collective farm in Krasnoyarsk-26 or some other
Siberian outpost, placed in a secret government training program,
blasted into low earth orbit atop a rickety, modified ICBM, then
returned to earth and -- her status as Hero of Socialist Labor
notwithstanding -- dumped back into comparative obscurity and the
ignominy of the life of Soviet women. Ah, the radiant future of
communism. I believe her name was Valentina Tereshkova, or something
like that." - TOM BAKER
6. Where in Alaska did the Exxon Valdez spring a bit of a leak?
Correct Answer: "Prince William Sound"
7. Who is next in line after Charles to be King of England?
Correct Answer: "Prince William" Hee-hee.
8. Where does the term "Saved by the bell" come from?
Correct Answer: "Boxing. When the referee's ten count is interrupted
by the bell." - CHRIS DESANTIS
9. What two English words sound exactly the same, are spelled
differently, and have opposite meanings? (Toughie.)
Worst Answer: "great and awful" - LESLIE MARIA
CABE FRANKLIN, , SHANE SLEIGHTER, MICHAEL ROLFES and CHARLES MASSEY,
against all odds, came up with an acceptable answer that we here at DQ
Headquarters hadn't considered:
"Phat and fat"
Works for me.
"Ball - to have a good time.
Bawl - to cry, hence not having a good time." - DAWN KENNEALY
Oh, goddamn, alright that seems to be OK, too. Listen, this disaster of
a question came courtesy of JOHN HERING. Blame him. Directly. His
email address is [email protected].
Correct Answer We Were Originally Looking For: "Raze and Raise"
Who were the only ones to get this right?
DAVE MARIA
JONATHAN COLAN
ELISSA JACKSON
and
MELISSA SINUNU
Rock on!
Could not Accept:
"Evil (which is bad), and Evel (Kneevel) who is good." - CHRIS DESANTIS
"Boxing/Prince William" - MICHELLE WAGNER
10. In what city will you find the Gateway Arch?
"St. Louis MO. My hometown. You can go up to the top in an elevator
that was put into the thing when it was built. This was in the 60's,
before they knew how to build curved track (or something) so the
elevator only travels along the X and Y axes, like it's being maneuvered
by some kid who hasn't mastered the Etch-a-Sketch "dual turn" yet.
Straight up, slide left. Straight up, slide left. Etc. It's also
managed by the National Park Service, because it sits in the park that
is the Monument of Western Expansion. Which is the only national
monument that's a park. But I may have made that last part up." - CABE
FRANKLIN
Hmmmm, is that true? Let's go to the source. We contacted SEAN
KENNEALY, noted DQ contestant and Assistant Director of Maintenance for
the U.S. Park Service. Sean says "Cabe's talkin' out his ass." Well,
his answer was much longer, and frankly more diplomatic, but I didn't
have my pen out. But that was the gist of it.
Hee-hee, I said "gist".
Have a great day, and DON'T DO CRACK!
Dave
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/11/98
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 09:35:58 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/11/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MARK GORMAN!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
HEATHER BRAUN
ROB BUCKANAVAGE
CHRISTINE CHALLAS
JON DAVID
PAUL GEORGE
JOCELYN MARTICH
KRISTIN MATUSHAK
MARILYN MOYER-WARD
GEORGE PATCH
DAN RIPPEL
and
BIRGITT TANGERMANN
Today's winners will receive a big ol' bag of chewy Runts.
Rock on!
1. Name the movie:
"I'm a karate man! Karate men bruise on the inside!"
"Tim Lai - that guy from Robinson who used to announce football games TO
HIMSELF and play games of one (not one on one) basketball with a paper
towel and the trashcans in the yellow cafeteria." - LESLIE MARIA (Oh
God, I remember that kid!)
Correct Answer: "Trading Places"
2. "Cent" is to "Dollar" as what is to "Peso"?
"If you're doing analogies in Argentina, Bolivia, Columbia, Cuba, the
Dominican Republic, or Mexico, you would answer 'centavos'. However, if
you're in Uruguay, it's 'centesimos'. In the Philippines, it's
'sentimos' and in Chile, it's 'escudos'." - JOCELYN MARTICH
Umm, yes, naturally that's what I meant.
3. What is the only U.S. state that is bigger than Texas?
Correct Answer: "Alaska"
"I'll be deep in the ground before I recognize Alaska." - JP XENAKIS
4. What is the term given to a tenth of one's income donated to a
church?
Correct Answer: "Tithe"
5. Which of the "Three Tenors" is the artistic director of the
Washington Opera?
"The second one." - STEVE DUBUC
Ummmm, yeah, I suppose alphabetically he is. Rock on, Steve.
Correct Answer: "Placido Domingo"
6. Name the media mogul who created the Goodwill Games?
"Good Will Hunting (in France they called it Indomitable Will)" - ELI
KAILEY
So wrong, Eli, but here's an interesting FunFact: I used to hang with
Joey Buttafuoco in L.A. and his wife, Mary Jo, told me that she is
writing a book called "Indomitable Will".
Correct Answer: "Ted Turner"
7. A cow is called a "heifer" until it has done what?
Good Answer: "Given birth."
Better Answer: "Had a cow, man." - JOCELYN MARTICH
8. What city was just named by Money magazine as the Northeast's best
city to live in?
Correct Answer: "Washington, D.C." (So much for the validity of THAT
survey.)
"(By the way, Richmond was named the best mid-sized city in the South;
Charlottesville was Number one for small cities in the south and Norfolk
was number one for big cities in the South --- Let's hear it for the Old
Dominion)" - JON DAVID
Woo-Woo!
9. What does Zack Mayo have tattooed on his arm in "An Officer and a
Gentleman"?
Keep those gerbil jokes comin'!!
"mama didn't love me" - HARRIS KAY
"Mama Didn't Love Me" - JON DAVID
Correct Answer: "An Eagle"
>From the DQ Weird Files: I read PETER MCGRATH'S answer to #10 which was
"I already have a tatoo - it is of an Armadillo playing rugby." and then
the very next one I read was TISHA STACEY'S answer to #9 which was "I
dunno, an armadillo?" What are the chances, friend?
WHAT...ARE...THE...CHANCES??
Anyway, sorry, just gettin' excited about boozing tonight. If you can't
make it to the shindig, we will be putting pictures from it on the web
site. Oh, and we'll be building a web site. MILLIE PERRINE, Graphics
Goddess, and PAUL GEORGE, Java Man, are hot on the development of
www.DailyQuiz.com!
Rock on, Paul and Millie!
10. If you were going to get a tattoo, what would it be?
Yeah, yeah, I know how the word's spelled.
There were 112 responses, so I had to take just a random sampling.
Please, please forgive me if I left yours out. Particularly if you are
bigger than me.
"I think I would get the letters "D" and "Q" tattooed on my back, so
every time I looked back there, I would think of our beloved
quizmaster." - GREG HYLTON (If your back is just really hairy, that
would also work.)
"Banana Slug" - JANICE GLUCK
"Amazonian banana tree slug." - HEATHER MAST (As far as I know, Janice
and Heather don't know each other. Weird.)
"A young Tony Randall. Naked, of course." - ROB WAGNER
"I'd have a heart crossed downwards by a hughe sowrd surrounded by
sneaks and a Shelby Cobra in the backgrund chrased with David Koresh's
Camaro. Then I would have the lyrics of "I will Survive" bellow the
whole thing written in Homer Simpson's ass. And finally crowning such
masterpiece I would have Lady Di's diamonds tiara. Good thing you didn't
ask where would I have it. Good thing I'm not having a tatoo." - SIMON
GOMEZ (Easy for you to say.)
"'I Choo-Choose You'"... and there's a picture of a train." - SCOTT
BAGER
"I would get a question mark tattooed on my arm, because when people saw
it, they would ask, "Why do you have a question mark tattoo?" I would
answer, "I dunno," and the person would think I was really dumb or
really weird, but I would have the last laugh, because I am smart and
normal." - DAVE MARIA
"At my age? That's easy. Directions for giving CPR, in Helvetica Bold,
on my forehead." - SHRIVE HERING
"Street Angel" - ROBIN CERMAK (Robin's the one who brought us that
creepy poem she got from that guy in her gym.)
"A tiny Elvis (no joke) - and I would put it on my belly or my ass, so
as I get older and fatter, so does Elvis" - JENNIFER KOSS
"It would be on my back. It would be a picture of a guy's back who has
a tattoo on his back of a guy's back who has a tattoo of a guy's back
who has.... You get the point." - PAT GEORGE
"The entire text of the Declaration of Independence on my butt, so that
when someone asks me how the Declaration of Independence goes I could
just moon them and when they try to have me arrested the cops would say,
'Hey, you asked.'" - KRISTIN MATUSHAK
"I'm on stupid" - STEVE DIAMOND
"I'd tatto that Black African Elephant that Xenakis was going to sell on
the black market. Underneath I would tattoo Elephant Amnesty, a
heartfelt expression of my firm belief that elephants should NOT be sold
for their ivory. Also chicks dig a guy who takes a stance on things.
Especially trendy ones. Then I'd take her to the Tibetan Freedom
Concert, signifying my heartfelt belief that those African people should
be free of communist rule." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
If you're planning on coming to the happy hour at Bardo tonight @ 7:00
p.m. bring a #2 pencil. Today's DQ will be administered there. Don't
worry if you can't make it, we will have others.
Love,
Papa
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/12/98
Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 08:44:36 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers (The Happy Hour Edition)
06/12/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JONATHAN COLAN!! *
* *
**************************
This week's COW, JONATHAN COLAN, is a simple man with simple tastes. He
enjoys taking
long walks on the beach, starting fires, reading poetry, dropping large
rocks from overpasses, and listening to classical music. While making
crank calls. Besides coming up with witty answers for the DQ, Jonathan
is a contributor to the Top5 List, the internet's second funniest site.
Way to go, Jonathan!
This Daily Quiz was administered at the first DQ Happy Hour. 'Twas a
festive affair, they
tell me. Frankly I don't remember that much. There were between 40 and
50 of us there. We had "Hello, my name is:" name tags and much
drinky-drinky.
As you read these answers, please bear in mind that the contestants were
very drunk. Kinda like the SATs. Also, there were SO many answers that
I just can't print, even if I remove the name, cuz some were puh-ritty
incriminating.
Today's Big Winners:
SUZANNE BEST
STEPHEN DIAMOND
REBECCA DICK
TODD DUNBAR
LISA GOLDSCHMIDT
JOHN HERING
AIMEE HICKOX
and
LEV LESOKHIN
These contestants will receive a set of "Dr. Buck's" fake teeth like the
ones AL HERING wore at the happy hour. Al, if the comments on the
quizes are any indication, many people thought those were your real
teeth.
Way to go!
1. What do you like best about the DQ?
"Goes great with grits." - TOM BAKER
"The excuse to stop working." - LEE SONG
"Fair and impartial judging of the DQ." - CHARLES MASSEY (Charles, who
got all the answers correct, doesn't appear in our Winner's Circle,
cuz...eh, no reason really.)
"I bill the government when I play." - MATT YOUNG (Matt, you bill the
TAXPAYERS. And as a taxpayer I say to you, "Go ahead and take the
afternoon off and root U.S.A on to victory over Germany in the World
Cup!")
"Donkey Qong? I like when Mario jumps over the barrel..." - JOHN HERING
"It's that little ray of sunshine I need every day. Everyone brings a
lil' sunshine into my day. Some when they enter my office, some when
they leave." - NO NAME (Some of you neglected to identify yourselves.)
"The QuizMaster rocks!!" - SUZANNE BEST (Yes he does, Suzanne. Oh, not
like he used to, mind you, but...)
2. What do you like least about communism? (Just kidding, the DQ.)
First, those who chose to dump on communism:
"Surly babushkas on every corner." - TOM BAKER
"No toilet paper." - SUZANNE BEST
"Stalin looks so stand-offish in all the statues, but if you knew him
he's really a pretty nice guy." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
And here's what you don't like about the DQ:
"When the monkey hits you with the barrel." - JOHN HERING
"The math questions." - REBECCA DICK
"Rug burns." - ROB WAGNER
"The annoying punctuation that my email is putting in place of quotation
marks." - LISA GOLDSCHMIDT (I think we've licked this @problem@, Lisa.)
"The goofy name tags." - MONICA MEJIA (Yeah, we got a lot of resistance
from Monica on the name tags, but she finally came to accept their
importance.)
3. Share something interesting about a contestant you've met tonight.
"Suzanne Best is hot." - ANONYMOUS (Names have occassionaly been omitted
to protect the hammered.) (Suzanne, I'll tell you who said it, though.)
"One of the contestants has teeth like Austin Powers." - LEE SONG
"Shane Sleighter is hot, and has a really talented tongue. Al Hering
has nice legs." - NO NAME
"Leeto Tlou would not stop hitting on me." - SHANE SLEIGHTER (Well, now
we know who wrote the above.)
"Carlos Otal and his 19 month-old daughter have the same short, chubby
toes." - MONICA MEJIA (Yes, there were children present. And toes.)
4. Who said "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."?
Correct Answer: "Yogi Berra"
5. Name the movie:
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my
last confession."
"What sins have you to confess?"
"Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the
brother of my fianc�e and
once I bounced a check at the liquor store, but that was really an
accident."
"Then it's not a sin. But... what was that second thing you said,
Loretta?"
"I love you to death." - MONICA MEJIA (Hey, thanks, Monica. But please
answer the question.)
This was a tough one, but a lot of you got this, even under my strict
"No Cheating" rule:
"Lev Lesokhin says it's probably 'Moonstruck'." - AIMEE HICKOX
Well, so much for that.
Correct Answer: "Moonstruck" - LEV LESOKHIN
6. What trigonometric function is equal to the sine divided by the
cosine?
"......S/C ---> CAH" - NO NAME
"The natural log (wink, wink)" - LISA GOLDSCHMIDT
"It begins with a 't', I think." - AL HERING
JOHN "Donkey Qong" HERING was somehow able to search his beer-addled
brain for this one:
Given a right triangle with sides x, y, and z, with z being the
hypotenuse:
x/z = sin
y/z = cos
x/z over y/z = x/y = tangent
7. What was the name of the building Timothy McVeigh blew up?
Correct Answer: "Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building"
Also Accepted:
"Edward R. Murrow Federal Building" - LOTS OF YOU
"Alfred E. Newman Federal Building" - EVEN MORE OF YOU
8. Where does Paulie work in the movie "Rocky"?
"That parrot was in 'Rocky' movies?? Damn, he's everywhere!" - JOHN
HERING
"I don't know, but his sister, Adrian, worked at the corner grocery
store." - AIMEE HICKOX (When you don't know the answer to a question,
it is always acceptable to provide related information for full credit.)
(If the information you provide is correct, of course. Aimee, she
worked in a pet store.)
Correct Answer: "Meat packing plant"
9. Name the movie: "Lake...big lake."
Correct Answer: "16 Candles"
10. On the other side of this, briefly share your most embarrassing
moment.
"Right now. DQ without internet is pretty embarrassing." - NO NAME
"I once woke up on a median strip in Bethesda." - TOM BAKER (Hey, who
hasn't done that?)
"One time I was in the sauna at the gym when I realized that one of the
girls in their was my frend's girlfriend, Sidra. So I stood up to walk
over and introduce myself and I somehow accidentally lurched forward and
round myself grabbing her breast. And by the way, they were real and
they were amazing." - MONICA MEJIA (Actually, I think you Monica looks
kinda like Elaine. The memory is very fuzzy, though.)
"When I got caught photocopying 'myself' at work. You probably saw me
on TV in regards to that a few weeks ago." - SUZANNE BEST
JOHN HERING beat himself up (again) over that thing on Catalina Island,
which really wasn't so bad, John. It's not even worth mentioning. OK,
all he did was say in response to our waitress telling us that she was
on spring break from college: "What are you majoring in, Waitressing
101?" His wife thought it was horrible; I didn't think it was THAT
bad. It was a hell of a lot better than the time at a Red Sox game at
Fenway when I asked this obnoxious kid sitting behind us if he was
retarded. I got a year's worth of bad karma out of that one.
"When I lost on 'It's Academic'." - STEPHEN DIAMOND (Stephen, just
BEING on 'It's Academic' actually qualifies here.)
"I got arrested in 1995 for trespassing. I swam in a pool when I was
drunk. I wasn't arrested until Monday. (I got caught on Saturday.) Me
and my friend got put in an Arlington County holding cell with Eddie
from 'Eddie From Ohio". When I got fingerprinted, the cop dropped the
ink cap. He asked me to pick it up, and I did. When I got back to the
cell, the rest of the inmates laughed at me and called me names for
helping the cop." - MATT YOUNG
"When my roommates thought I had peed on our carpet in our dorm. The
night before was a big party and I had to go do this volunteer thing
early the next morning. While I was gone, my roommates woke up and
found a pair of panties next to a wet spot on our carpet. They thought
it was me and put the panties near my desk. Later, the lesbian next
door came in our room and asked if we had noticed that she had wandered
drunk into our room the night before and slept on our couch until the
early a.m. As she was talking, she was casually searching the room for
her panties." - LISA GOLDSCHMIDT
"I once got food poisoning at Rock Bottom Brewery and threw up all over
myself." - REBECCA DICK
(So I guess it was food poisoning I got at Bardo!)
"'Al Hering Craps Himself' Story #8" - AL HERING
(Al, I LOVE that story!)
Have a hap-hap-happy Monday! Go USA!
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/15/98
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 09:53:18 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/15/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JONATHAN COLAN!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
STEVE BOSWELL
SEAN BOYLE
ANGIE BURKE
LISA FLINT
HARRIS KAY
MEREDITH LINBERGER
DAVE MARIA
LESLIE MARIA
ARLENE PAUL
CRAIG STACEY
SALLY STENGEL
and
MICHELLE WAGNER
These contestants will receive Operation! "The Wacky Doctors Game". By
Milton-Bradley.
Way to go!
1. Name the movie:
"No women. No kids."
Best Wrong Answer: - "My Life's Story" - STEPHAN DIAMOND
Worst Wrong Answer: "Meatball II" - LEETO TLOU
Best Wrong Answer: "Scarface (right after Scarface blew the guys head
off in the car when he was about to explode a car bomb.)" - STEVE
BOSWELL
(I think he kept saying just "No kids!", but that's pretty close.)
Correct Answer: "The Professional"
"Got milk?" - ROB BUCKANAVAGE (Good one!)
"'Bring me everyone.'
'Everyone?'
'EVERYONE!!!'"
- PAT GEORGE (Great quote, Pat!)
If you haven't seen this movie, rent it tonight. Thank me tomorrow.
"Republicans: The Movie" - JONATHAN COLAN
2. What standard beer ingredient grows on a vine?
Worst Answer: "I think the standard ingredient for wine (grapes) grows
on a vine. However, barley, hops, yeast, and fresh mountain spring water
(the standard ingredients for beer) do not grow on vines." - LEETO TLOU
Correct Answer: "Hops"
"In the words of the immortal poet Homer, 'Can't talk, drinking.'" -
ELISSA JACKSON
3. What is the medical name for bad breath?
"Halitosis - but this was made up by Listerine in the early 1900's to
scare people into buying the product." - TRACY GOEBEL
Seriously, Tracy?
4. What is the largest capital city in the West Indies?
Correct Answer: "Havana"
5. Who was Ollie North's secretary during Iran-Contra?
Correct Answer: "Fawn Hall"
6. What are big, matronly Russian women called?
"Heavenly" - DAVE HAGLER (Dave's a chubby chaser.)
"Crazy Ivans" - JP XENAKIS (They always go to starboard at the bottom of
the hour.)
Correct Answer: "Babushkas"
7. Say there, Joseph, where might ya be going with that there gun in
your hand?
Correct Answer: "I'm goin' down to shoot my ol' lady. You know I
caught her messin' 'round with another man. (And that ain't too cool.)"
(Or anything along those lines.)
"I'm planning on invading my female spouse's epidermis with a high
velocity lead projectile for her infidelity."
Also Accepted:
"I'm going to shoot my old lady, caught her messin' round with Chris
Maltese." - JP XENAKIS
8. By what devilish nickname do Iranians refer to the United States?
Correct Answer: "The Great Satin! They sure are sensual peop...huh?
Oh. make that Great *Satan*." - JP XENAKIS
"The Great Satan (not to be confused with Robert Duval, The Great
Santini)" - JONATHAN COLAN
9. Let's visit an old friend of the DQ! What's for lunch today?
(703-648-7777)
"Assuming the risk to be perennial target of cruel jokes, I must confess
that, I'm affraid I don't get it." - SIMON GOMEZ
Simon, there's no trick here. This number is the number for the lunch
menu recording at the "National Center" (or something) (I think it's
actually the National Geological Survey Center in Reston). The lady who
records the lunch menu is certifiably wacko.
Here's what we got:
"Soup: Chicken CalCutta (Mother Theresa's favorite)
Market Carvery: Veal Parmesean, Swedish Meatballs
Veg: Broccolli, Slice Carrots and um, um, umm, Good ol mashed potatoes
and
gravy
Grill: Grilled ham & cheese
Yogurt: Orange Cream and French Vanilla" - SHARON PRESLEY
10. What's for lunch for you today?
"Chicken in tangy juice" - JONATHAN COLAN, JENNIFER KOSS
"Same thing I have everyday. Ham and cheese sandwhich, chips, 2
cupcakes, soda, loneliness." - PAT GEORGE (Oh, Pattycakes,
BLESS...YOUR...HEART! Big brother is coming out there everyday to have
lunch with you! Where are you? Springfield? Screw that, I'm in
Maryland. Sorry.
"Malaise with a side of despair." - NATE RIPPEL (Alright you two, get
together for lunch, will ya? You're depressing me.)
"Same as usual: Bottle of Jack and an 8-Ball" - GEOFF BROWN
"Bagel Dogs." - CRAIG STACEY
"cottage cheese, fruit and maybe a cup of chili." - MILLIE PERRINE
"A nice big fat turkey sub with honey mustard." - STEVE BOSWELL
"one peice of toast, dry
and
one whole chicken" - DAN RIPPEL
"Philly Cheese Steak doused in half-a-bottle of Crystal hot sauce and a
bowl of Chicken 'n' rice soup. Topped off by a bag of Chewy Runts." -
JOHN HERING
"Bangers and mash" - ELISSA JACKSON
"The DQ and a side of grits." - TOM BAKER
"An old friend" - SCOTT BAGER
"Roast beef and cole slaw on a sandwich-sized english muffin with honey
mustard. Carrots. Lays potato chips. Pepsi." - MATT YOUNG
"Taco Bell (3 regular tacos) and iced tea." - MEREDITH LINBERGER
Correct Answer: "Black beans and rice."
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/16/98
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 23:11:36 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/16/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JONATHAN COLAN!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
BRIAN BEARD
JIM GILKESON
LISA GOLDSCHMIDT
JOHN HALDI
ELI KAILEY
MARILY MOYER-WARD
NICHOLAS PACE
ARLENE PAUL
DEVON TUTAK
and
PAUL VAN TUYLE
These contestants will receive...shoot, I can't think of a thing to
award. Sorry, I'll get back to you folks.
1. What Judy Blume book is summarized here?
"Ever since his dad got rich from an invention and his family moved to a
wealthy neighborhood on Long Island, Tony Miglione's life has been
turned upside down. For starters, there's his new friend Joel, who
shoplifts. Then there's Joel's sixteen-year-old sister, Lisa, who gets
undressed every night without pulling down her shades. And there's
Grandma, who won't come down from her bedroom. On top of all his other
worries, Tony has questions about growing up...."
"Ramoma? I think that is the only Judy Blume book I remember." - GREG
HYLTON
A lot of you said "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and "Blubber".
"Yo! You there God? It's me! Tony!" - GLENDA SIMMONS
"Forever" - NEAL COLLIER
(Ha!! You read this chick book, Neal? I can't believe a guy would read
some girly book about the saga of Katherine and Michael who meet on New
Year's eve, fall in love and experience the woner of "the first
time"...er, at least that's what I heard it was about.)
Correct Answer: "Then Again, Maybe I Won't"
"Tony has a bad stomach, too." - HARRIS KAY
2. What is Bipolar Disorder more commonly referred to as?
Best Wrong Answer: "Attention Defic...whatever." - DAN RIPPEL
Correct Answer: "Manic depression"
"David Silver's mom had that, and he when he went to Portland for spring
break to visit her (although we all know he only went there to be with
Donna who was going there to see Ray) he couldn't find her because she
slipped into the depressive side of the disease. Then, a couple of
years later, David goes to Vegas and almost blows his inheritance from
his grandfather gambling, but I think he goes up big and then breaks
even. Then they put him in a rubber room for a few days. -I really wish
that I had an excuse for having this much 90210 knowledge (younger
sister, etc), but I don't." - ZAK MAHSHIE
"I do remember this hilarious episode of The Tick (funniest thing that
ever graced Saturday morning), where a crisis struck, and a man in a
costume sitting on the side of his bed said, heroically, 'THIS looks
like a job for... BIPOLAR MAN...' and added sobbing, 'but I
just can't get out of bed today.'" - CRAIG STACEY
3. In what movie does Robert Duvall play a tough-as-nails fighter pilot
and abusive father?
Correct Answer: "The Great Santini"
"Best line of the movie: 'oh, DeGaulle! Castro! i'd like to chase him
down the streets of havana in my f4. god, why did you have to put so
many jerks on the earth at one time?'" - NATE RIPPEL
"The Great Santini...Nothing like having the basketball bounced off your
head a few times to teach you a lesson." - CHRIS BLILEY
That's a great scene. Ben, the son of Santini, had just beaten his dad
in basketball. And dad was pissed: "C'mon, Ben, cry! Cry!
1-2-3 cry! You were always my favorite daughter, Ben! You
were always my favorite little girl!"
"Yeah, well this little girl just whipped your butt good, colonel!"
(Dig, though: The same thing happened in our house once, except it was
SO much worse, cuz dad was a bowler.)
4. What did Dan Akroyd's character order for lunch in the diner in the
original "Blues Brothers"?
"Black Beans and Rice" - Quite a few of you.
Correct Answer: "Toast without butter." - LYNNIE MARTICH
5. In the movie "The Hunt for Red October", what do they call the
Soviet practice of stopping the engines of their submarines to listen
for enemy subs behind them?
"Fartknocking" - ELISSA JACKSON
Correct Answer: "Crazy Ivan"
"I think you mean a 'Crazy Ivan' but you've got the description all
screwed
up. A 'Crazy Ivan' is where the Soviet sub basically does a donut to
see if
anyone is behind them." - GEORGE PATCH
Yes, there seems to be a bit of a controversy regarding how exactly a
crazy Ivan worked. I shall rent the movie this weekend and
investigate. Or just bypass the whole DQ democratic process and go
ahead and suspend George. Hmmmm...Oh hell, I was gonna booze this
weekend. George, you're suspended.
6. Near the end of "The Silence of the Lambs", what does Hannibal
Lecter say he's going to have for dinner?
Correct Answer: "An old friend."
7. Iran-Contra was to Ronald Reagan as what was to Warren G. Harding?
Correct Answer: "Teapot Dome"
8. What legendary German soccer player is called "The Kaiser"?
"Andy Schoka" - DAVE HAGLER (Close.)
"Wilhelm" - Lots o' ya
Correct Answer: "Franz Beckenbauer"
"Anyone calls me 'Franz'...I'll kill ya."
"Ooooh!"
"You just made the list, pal."
"Lighten up, Franz."
- PAUL VAN TUYLE (+1 - Brilliant "Stripes" reference.)
9. What was the name of Jacques Cousteau's research boat?
A lot of you said "The Rainbow Warrior".
Correct Answer: "Calypso" (A lot of you also said this, I should add.)
10. What amateur athletic organization did Eunice Kennedy Shriver
found?
Correct Answer: "Special Olympics"
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/18/98
Date: Fri, 19 Jun 1998 09:59:18 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JONATHAN COLAN!! *
* *
**************************
Sorry kids! I'm in a bit of a rush, so today's answers just contain the
correct answers to yesterday's quiz sans all the funny stuff.
Today's Big Winners:
NEAL COLLIER
ROB DANIELS
CHRIS DESANTIS
JOHN GREEN
ANA KEEFE
JENNIFER MCCORMICK
JENNIFER MOYER
NICHOLAS PACE
and
STEPHEN STEWART
These contestants will receive a "Get Out of Suspension Free" card!!
Way to go!
1. On top of what mountain did Noah's ark supposedly land?
A lot of you said "Ol' Smokey"!!
Correct Answer: "Mt. Sinai"
2. In what city is the alamo located?
Correct Answer: "El Paso"
3. What term did President Eisenhower use to describe one country after
another falling to communism?
Correct Answer: "Iron Curtain"
4. What major U.S. city is located on the shores of Lake Michigan?
Correct Answer: "Chicago"
A couple of you said that Milwaukee is correct, but it is actually on
Lake Superior.
5. What federal agency oversees the quality of drinking water?
Correct Answer: "FDA"
6. Name the movie:
"I want to quit breaking my wife's heart."
"'What's Love Got To Do With It: The Tina Turner Story' (No, wait,
that's 'I want to quit breaking my wife's face.'" - PAUL GEORGE
Correct Answer: "Risky Business"
7. Name the movie:
"For example, I use forty-eight percent of my brain. Do you know how
much you use?"
"Forty seven?"
"HA-HA-HA-HA!...Three."
Correct Answer: "Defending Your Life"
8. In bowling, what's a turkey?
Correct Answer: "Three strikes in a row OR two spares in a row."
9. Name the movie:
"You want to dig the hole beforehand in the desert and remember where it
is, because if you don't do it before you kill the guy, it takes over a
half of an hour and you never know who'll be coming along in the desert
and see you. And before you know it, you're digging four or five holes
and you're out there all fuckin' night."
Correct Answer: "Casino"
10. How many pints are in a quart?
Correct Answer: "Two"
Have a great weekend!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/19/98
Date: Tue, 23 Jun 1998 08:36:07 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
by Dave George
Okey-dokey, first, yes I was only kidding with Friday's very wrong
answers. Me and JOHN HERING thought it would be a hoot. The plan was
to elicit lots of indignant emails, (and reprint them, of course) but
most of you were too nice for it to be all that funny. So, anyway:
-Noah's Ark landed on Mr. Ararat
-The Alamo is in San Antonio
-Eisenhower coined the phrase "Domino Effect"
-Milwaukee's on Lake Michigan
-The EPA checks our water
-A turkey in bowling is just three strikes
and...
Remember the movie quote "I want to quit breaking my wife's heart."?
I'm afraid that I am not sure what movie that comes from. I just got
the quote in my head, I can hear the guy saying it, but I couldn't
remember what movie it came from. I figured one or more of you would
jog my memory. Somebody said "When a Man Loves a Woman", and while I
don't think that's right, I do think that Andy Garcia did say it.
Perhaps in "Internal Affairs". Anyway, sorry 'bout that.
**********
The DQ is taking a little vacation.
It *might* return Monday, June 29th.
I'm not sure.
**********
1. Complete this old Arabic saying: "The enemy of my enemy is..."
Correct Answer: "My friend"
Also Accepted:
"My friend. My friend, Matt, as a matter of fact." - JONATHAN COLAN
2. What U.S. state is called "The Free State"?
Lots of you said "New Hampshire: 'Live Free or Die.'"
Correct Answer: "Maryland"
3. Name the movie:
"My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power,
like a president or senator."
"Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don't
have men killed!"
"Oh, who's being naive now Kay?"
Correct Answer: "The Godfather"
4. How are Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) related?
Correct Answer: "They're Twin Sisters"
5. What's it called in rugby where players from each side form a tight
formation to struggle for the ball?
"A scrum"
6. What is the name they're giving to the oceanic cold spell being
experienced in the eastern equatorial zone?
La nina
7. What did the United States' zone improvement plan give us?
ZIP Codes
8. What the traditional four things a bride must wear on her wedding
day?
Correct Answer: "Something old, something new, something borrowed,
something blue."
Also Accepted: "Something old, something new, something borrowed and a
dead muskrat." - CRAIG STACEY
9. Who was the medical doctor on the old Star Trek?
"Bones"
10. Doin' anything fun this weekend?
There were so many wrong answers here. The correct answer was
"Drinking" or "Boozing"-anything having to do with getting drunk.
"Fishing" was also acceptable, cuz, really, that's the same thing.
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 06/29/98
Date: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 17:20:56 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
06/29/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JOHN HERING!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
SCOTT BAGER
SHRIVER HERING
BOYD JOHNSON
SEAN KENNEALY
LAURA MENARD
TRIP MORANO
JENNIFER MOYER
ARLENE PAUL
SALLY STENGEL
JUSTINE STEVENS (First time player!)
These contestants win a "Hungry Man" dinner like the one that was stolen
out of the refrigerator where I work. It wasn't mine, nor did I take
it, but I got a great deal of pleasure out of reading the note that was
taped to the fridge for two weeks: "Whoever stole my Hungry Man dinner,
when I find out who took it you are going to HATE me." Then he put his
extension on it. I've been tempted to call him from a pay phone every
night and leave cryptic messages on his voice mail regarding the
identity of the thief, but I haven't...yet.
TISHA STACEY wins the coveted "DQ Detective Award" with: "I notice
you're back."
1. What does the "M" in "HMO" stand for?
"Management" - Many of you.
Correct Answer: "Maintenance" (As in "Health Maintenance
Organization".)
2. What's a single-humped camel called?
"Monogamous" - Lots o' ya.
"Quasimodo" - JERRY HELISEK
Correct Answer: "Dromedary"
3. If a Washingtonian has "MHR" after his name, what is he/she?
"A transsexual. MHR stands for 'Missing His Richard'." - JOHN HERING
"MaHaRishi" - JOSEPH HAMILTON
Correct Answer: "A Member of the House of Representatives"
4. Name the movie:
"Who are you?"
"The Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the
angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you
did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincent Coccotti."
"The mirror has two faces." - PJ HENRY
Correct Answer: "True Romance"
5. Pat Garrett shot what famous Old West feller?
Correct Answer: "Billy the Kid"
"Billy the Kid or William Bonny" - SEAN BOYLE (Well which is it,
mister?)
"Supposedly Billy the Kid but there is some debate about it." - STEVE
BOSWELL (Not around here, Steve. Here at the DQ we accept conventional
wisdom as Gospel Truth. It's easier that way, and you get less
headaches.)
6. Who is the leader of the "Moonies"?
Correct Answer: "The Reverend Sun Myung Moon"
"...who also owns that mainstream newspaper, the Washington Times." -
SHRIVER HERING
7. The Hawaiian Host company is famous for selling what kinds of nut?
Correct Answer: "Macadamia Nuts"
8. The eastern part of what desert is called the "Arabian Desert"?
Correct Answer: "Sahara"
Also Accepted (out of pity) - "Mohabi"
9. What is soccer's equivalent of basketball's jump ball?
Correct Answer: "Drop Ball"
"Dave, please include more soccer questions. You know, in honor of the
World Cup and all." - DAVE HAGLER
(Dave, your wish is my command. Look for a soccer-related question on
each DQ during the remainder of the Cup.)
10. Who is David Duchovny married to?
Correct Answer: "Tea Leoni"
Oddly, many of you added "that piece of ass" to your answer. (Most were
men.)
"She was recently quoted in Glamour magazine as having 'aggressive
nipples'." - ROBIN VALENTINE
(I always suspected.)
See ya!
Dave
--
Dave George
Systems Consultant
Perspective Technology Corp.
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/06/98
Date: Tue, 07 Jul 1998 10:13:32 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
07/06/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* ANGIE MARCIANO!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
JON DAVID
JAMES DONAHUE
HEATHER MAST
NATE RIPPEL
TODD RIST
and
STEPHEN STEWART
Today's winners will receive the album "The Best of Bread".
Way to go!
1. Why won't you ever have to worry about a Viet Cong soldier dropping
in on your wave while you're out surfing?
This was a reference to "Apocalypse Now!". One great flick.
"Because the war is over and they don't swim and also there is not Viet
Cong any longer." - SIMON GOMEZ
Correct Answer: "Charlie don't surf!!"
That's a great line from Robert Duval.
"Not just a great line from Robert Duval. But also a song by the
Clash." - DAN RIPPEL
Oh, I did not know that.
2. Which American president wrote "Profiles In Courage"?
"Bush - he's the only president I can remember that actaully fought in a
war - which is what the book sounds like it is referring to." - CASSIE
DAILEY
What?? Bush is the only one you could think of??? What about George
Washington? Teddy Roosevelt?? Goddamn Ulyses S. Grant??? C'mon,
Cassie! Where have you been during our discussions of war fighting
presidents?
"Hey there Dave. This is my first response so go easy on me. Break me
in gently if that's possible." - CASSIE DAILEY
Oh. Sorry, Cassie. Welcome to the DQ.
Correct Answer: "John Kennedy (with a little help from Pierre "Is that
a missile in your
pants or are you just happy to see me" Salinger)" - JONATHAN COLAN
3. Name the movie:
"You seem like a thinker. You seem to always be deep in thought. So what
are you thinking right now?"
"I'm thinking I could take more of these potaters."
Correct Answer: "Sling Blade"
4. Where was Beethoven from? (I ain't be meanin' the dog, neither.)
"San Demas, CA" - JP XENAKIS
"He is from a small town of Kliendorf on the Austrian/German border
where he had to sneak into the local church (Kliendorfmer Dom) to
practice piano. Little know fact that his instrument of choice, as with
most of us, was the accordian." - ROBERT HAWCK
Wow! I did not know that! +2 pts. (And if you're pulling our
collective leg: +3 pts.)
"Born in Bonn, Germany although he achieved musical success in Vienna,
Austria" - MELISSA SINUNU
Oh. Well, if you said Austria or Germany you got credit.
5. Where was Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce from?
Correct Answer: "Crabapple Cove, Maine"
"It's an appropriate question, seeing as how it's now tourist season up
here in the northeast, and most of the natives are polishin' up their
guns. There's no trophy like the head of a surprised tourist on the wall
of your living room." - PEG WARNER
(Or surprised cat.) (Ooh, sorry, Peg. That was mean. How goes the
hunt for Dusk?)
6. What European capital is closest to the United States?
Correct Answer: "Reykjavic, Iceland or Lisbon, Portugal"
I got this question from my Dad, who heard it on Jeopardy.
7. What animal is on the state flag of California?
Correct Answer: "Grizzly Bear"
"The bear is actually drunk, but you can't tell from the picture." -
MICHELLE WAGNER
(I can tell, Michelle.)
8. What mythical beast had the head and wings of an eagle and the body
and tail of a lion?
Correct Answer: "Griffin"
DQ FunFact: The logo for Merv Griffin Enterprises depicts one of these
creatures.
9. Name the movie:
"I hate you!"
"I hate you more! If hate were people I'd be China!!"
"Didn't you use this in a DQ a few weeks back, where this was the second
clue given for a quote from 'City Slickers'?" - ERIC HURET
Yes, I guess I did, Eric. Here's another little diddy I used a while
back:
"YOU'RE SUSPENDED!"
10. If a matador is the guy who kills the bull, who are the guys on
horseback who weaken him with a lance? (Weaken the bull, not the
matador. Although, that would be funnier.)
Worst Answer: "What the hell are you talking about?" - JOEL PFYFFER
A couple of you said "Toreadors", and I'm not real sure what these guys
do. I looked it up and it says that they are "bullfighters". Well
duh. I'm reminded of a great Beverly Cleary book I read recently.
Actually, I'm not sure it was Beverly Cleary, and it was really a long
time ago. But our protagonist, possibly Henry Huggins, was in a play in
school where he played the ass end of a bull in a bullfight. At one
point in the story he kept singing "Toreador-ay, don't spit on the
floor-ay!"
Correct Answer: "Picador...pick any door" - DOUG ADAMS
Also Accepted: "nancy-boys" - ERIK TUININGA
(Erik's answer reminds me of this guy who shared an apartment with this
gal I dated in L.A. We called him the Fancy Lad, after "Cabin Boy".
He's now the assistant casting director for "Sliders". Should've been
nicer to him.)
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/09/98
Date: Tue, 14 Jul 1998 22:05:36 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
07/09/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* ANGIE MARCIANO!! *
* *
**************************
Sorry we've been away for so long, but I've finally got my phone hooked
up.
Today's Big Winners:
ALLEN BORN
AMBER CAMPBELL
GENE CAMPBELL (no relation)
CHRISTIAN FRIESENBORG (First time player!)
ALLISON PAGE
MICHAEL ROLFES
MATT YOUNG
JONATHAN KAPLAN scored a PERFECT SCORE, *except* that on question #6 he
put "...the flay on the moon." I'm sorry Jonathan, its "the *flag* on
the moon." Ya just missed being a Big Winner. Better luck next time,
fella.
Today's Big Winners will receive a Hunt's Pudding Snack Pack.
Way to go!
Regarding yesterday's answer by attorney JON DAVID about the difference
between "Assault" and "Battery":
"This from a lawyer? As a proud member of the Bar, I just want to
express my utter disappointment and professional embarassment at the
fact that a fellow 'squire resorted to the unfortunate practice of
expressing his legal opinion "succinctly." As his managing partner
would surely say, you'll never bill those hours if you say in a sentence
what
you could say in a paragraph, appropriately suported and cited. Double
spaced. Faxed and mailed. Reviewed first by two associates. And a
clerk. Twice. . . .
Billed .2 of an hour.
JONATHAN COLAN, esq."
On the one hand that's pretty funny. On the other hand, goddamn
lawyers. .
1. Complete this line from a commercial: "My doctor says ______."
"...I wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there."
- CHRISTIAN FRIESENBORG
Correct Answer: "Mylanta"
2. Name the movie:
"I haven't even told my father I'm not gonna get that scholarship. I'm
gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life."
"What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards."
"I notice you don't spend too much time there."
"I'm not quite sure where they are."
Correct Answer: "Caddyshack"
(And if you don't like "Caddyshack" quotes you are playing the wroooong
quiz, amigo.)
3. "Acid Reflux" is more commonly known as what?
"Acid Reflux. I know you're looking for "indigestion," but that is not
the correct answer. Acid reflux is a very specific condition, whereas
plain old indigestion is something else entirely. In acid reflux, the
valves, etc. holding the stomach acid in weaken, allowing acid to leave
the stomach, especially at night while lying down. Indigestion is just
an upset stomach." - GEOFF BROWN
Oh, so you know what I'm looking for, huh? Listen here, ya little
bitch, I'll suspend you like the Golden Gate Bridge if you ever get
smart like that again.
Sorry you had to see that, folks. (Kids these days. What're you gonna
do?)
"Oh, God, it has a horrible name. Something like Gerd or something. I
know
it as 'what keeps me up at night but has such an embarassing name I fear
going to the doctor for it.'" - PAT GEORGE
Pat, there's nothing to be embarassed about. Gastroesophageal reflux
disease (GERD) is one of the most common ailments in the world. Almost
everyone experiences a little acid reflux, particularly after meals.
Acid reflux irritates the walls of the esophagus, inducing a secondary
peristaltic contraction of the smooth muscle, and may produce the
discomfort or pain known as heartburn.
'Least, that's what I found on the web.
Correct Answer: "Heartburn"
4. Who is the old-time baseball player in the ESPN commercials who
talks about the song "Take me out to the ballgame" and other stuff?
"Pedro Cerrano, Voodoo master" - CHRIS BLILEY (+1 pt: Obscure "Major
League" reference.)
We were discussing this at work yesterday. Some say the guy is actually
Ty Cobb. Some say it's an actor. Somebody find out for me, will ya?
Correct Answer: "Ty Cobb" (Or "An actor playing Ty Cobb".) Whichever.
5. What is hidden on every cover of Playboy?
A lot of you guys had some pretty funny and filthy answers. Wish I
could print 'em, but you know...
Correct Answer: "A leeetle bunny!"
6. Name five (5) (4+1) places where the U.S. flag flies 24 hours a day.
Dig, this question comes to you via PAUL VAN TUYLE. Here's his answer:
"By Executive Order, the flag flies 24 hours a day at the following
locations:
>
>The Betsy Ross House, Philadelphia, Pennyslvania
>The White House, Washington, D.C.
>U.S. Capitol, Washington, D.C.
>Washington Monument, Washington, D.C.
>Iwo Jima Memorial to U.S. Marines, Arlington, Virginia
>Battleground in Lexington, MA (site of first shots in the Revolutionary
War)
>Winter encampment cabins, Valley Forge, Pennsylvania
>Fort McHenry, Baltimore, Maryland (a flag flying over Fort McHenry
after a
>battle during the War of 1812 provided the inpsiration for The
>Star-Spangled Banner
>The Star-Spangled Banner Flag House, Baltimore, Maryland (site where
the
>famed flag over Fort McHenry was sewn)
>Jenny Wade House in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania (Jenny Wade was the only
>civilian killed at the battle of Gettysburg)
>U.S.S. Arizona Memorial, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
>All custom points and points of entry into the United States."
Hmmmm, I don't see "The Moon" up there. But some of you said that the
Moon does not, technically, have a 24 hour day. I'd rather not get into
that.
7. What is "Operation Overlord" more commonly known as?
Correct Answer: "D-Day"
8. What award is given to the best pitcher in Major League Baseball
each year?
"Originally, the Cy Young Award was given to the best pitcher in the
Major Leagues. Don Newcombe won the first one in 1956. In 1967, they
decided to give a Cy Young Award to the best pitcher in each league
(American and National). So now that there are two given each year,
nothing official is given to the best pitcher in all of Major League
Baseball, except maybe the Sporting News Most Valuable Pitcher Award,
which lacks the prestige of the Cy Young Award since it is only voted on
by the staff at The Sporting News and not by the Baseball Writers
Association of America (BBWAA), which is comprised of select writers who
cover major league team. By the way, the most Cy Young Awards one
pitcher has ever received is four, a feat accomplished by Steve Carlton
and Greg Maddux. Maddux got his in consecutive years, a streak which
was broken last year by Pedro Martinez. While I was growing up, I was a
huge Orioles fan, and for the first 10 years of my life, Orioles'
pitchers won the AL Cy Young Award five times (Jim Palmer won 3, Mike
Flanagan and Steve Stone each won 1). Since 1980, they haven't won
any. I love to talk about baseball history. I think that is why I am
so popular with the ladies." - ROB WAGNER
9. Name the movie:
"You're a funny guy, Sully. I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you
last."
"I know its Arnold Swarzenegger but what movie? I can even picture the
scene He's holding the guy by his ankle over a cliff or a building or
something high up. The guy coughs up the information and arny says
something about dropping him. He responds 'You said you weren't going to
kill me!' Arny says 'I lied!' and drops him...." - MARILYN WARD's
friend, Richard.
You're right on target, Rich. The actual quote goes:
"Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?"
"That's right, Matrix, you did!"
"I lied."
Correct Answer: "Commando"
"When we were in high school, my friends and I tried to count exactly
how many people Arnold killed throughout the movie. I think we came up
with 179 people, not counting the dozens if not more people that
perished as he blew up random barracks in the bad guy's compound (we
conservatively assumed that these barrack's were empty, as Arnold's
attack took place during the day. we believe he blew them up as a
diversion, not to kill any more people). Commando made Robocop look
like a Disney film. This was one of my favorite movies, but I haven't
seen it in a while. I'll be renting it this weekend." - SCOTT ELDRIDGE
Scott, 179 is a good guess, but the correct answer is 255. You see,
there is a fundamental flaw in your reasoning. You assume that because
it's daytime the barracks were empty. Anyone who served proudly in the
Army, as I did, can tell you that it is during the daylight hours that
soldiers can most often be found sleeping in their bunks, hiding from
actual work. Night is for picking up underage girls, and vying for a
spot on the Company Commander's police blotter.
10. Who was Rhoda's doorman?
"Who's Rhoda?" - MONICA MEJIA (Monica, Monica, Monica...)
Rhoda was a hit TV show back in the mid-seventies. It was a spinoff of
"The Mary Tyler Moore Show", and starred Valerie Harper. You may
remember Ms. Harper from her role as Michael Caine's wife in "Blame it
on Rio", or as Valerie in the flop sitcom "Valerie".
Correct Answer: "Carlton"
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/15/98
Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 21:07:53 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
07/15/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* ADAM CURRY!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
TRACY GOEBEL
ANA KEEFE
ZAK MAHSHIE
KRISTIN MATUSHAK
BIRGITT TANGERMANN
DEVON TUTAK
ROBIN VALENTINE
ROB WAGNER
CATHIE WALKER
MATT YOUNG
Today's winners will receive a tall, cool and delicious 40.
Way to go!
1. In golf, what's it called when you shoot a hole two under par?
Correct Answer: "An Eagle (Or a "Hole in One" if it is scored on a par
3)" - JOHN HERING
2. Who was the lead singer of "The Miami Sound Machine"?
Correct Answer: "That murderous bitch, Gloria Estefan." - JOSEPH
HAMILTON
(Yes, Gloria and her husband were involved in a leeetle boating accident
in September '95 where their boat mowed over a jet skier and killed him,
but it was the jet skier's fault.
3. In what country was Konishiki, one of the greatest Sumo wrestlers
ever, born?
Correct Answer: "That would be USA! I asctually saw him in Tokyo kick
the, uh, pants things off this other guy. It was awsome." - GORDON HADA
"I had no idea there were any American sumo wrestlers." - TODD RIST
Ya bradda, Hawaii also produced the legendary Takamiyama, whose cousin
was a family friend of ours when we lived out there. His real name was
Jesse Kuhalua or something. Takamiyama was the first American
"Yokozuna" or grand champion. This is the highest order of Sumo
wrestler.
4. What's the capital of Yugoslavia?
Correct Answer: "Trick question. Yugoslovia broke up."
(It was Belgrade, and, truth be told, that's the answer I was looking
for. I forgot about the big break up. It's such a sad, sad thing.)
5. What's the name given to a knife attached to the end of a rifle?
Correct Answer: "Bayonet"
DQ FunFact: The US Army charges 80 dollars for their bayonets. (I lost
mine.)
6. Name the movie:
"If you don't get in that plane you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe
not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."
A couple of you said "La Bamba", and that's pretty funny.
Correct Answer: "Casablanca - However, a similar scene once took place
on the A-Team. As we all know, B.A. was afraid to fly. Every show,
they had to trick him into getting on the plane/helicopter. I believe
it went something like this:
Murdoch: B.A., you have to get on the plane, Colonel Decker is coming.
B.A. Shut up you crazy fool. I ain't goin' no-where.
Face: Come on, B.A., If you don't get on that plane, you'll regret it.
B.A: Shut up pretty boy. You better stop worryin' 'bout that plane,
and start worryin' 'bout my fist. Cause that's what you're gonna be
eatin' if you don't shut up!
Hannibal: B.A., they'll throw us back in the brigg for that crime we
didn't commit. Maybe you won't regret it today, maybe not tomorrow, but
soon and for the rest of your life.
B.A. Hannibal, I'm tired of you also bossin' me around. You always got
a plan. I'm tired of your plans. I ain't gettin on that plane, so
y'all better be quiet, before I get real mad.
Murdoch: Okay, you don't have to get on the plane. Here, have a bite
of this sandwich.
B.A. Okay (takes a bite, passes out, gets taken on plane.)" - SCOTT
ELDRIDGE
Also Accepted: "Airplane"
"Also Woody Allen's 'Play it Again, Sam.'" - JONATHAN COLAN
Oh yeah. Great flick.
7. Edson Arantes do Nascimento is better known as who?
"The Six-Fingered Man" - CABE FRANKLIN
Correct Answer: "Pele"
8. Who is the Hawaiian goddess of fire?
"That would be me. Bow before me." - CRAIG STACEY
Correct Answer: "Craig Stacey"
Also Accepted: "Pele"
Also Accepted: "Halankalanapoopaloona"
9. We call it corn, but them Indians call it what?
"Tatanka" - ED BAGER
Correct Answer: "Maize"
10. He's a small, furry alien life form, living with the Tanner
family. Who is he?
"Al Hering" - LESLIE MARIA
Correct Answer: "ALF"
"You sold my soul for a Pog?!"
"But Bart, it's an Alf pog. Alf's back, in Pog form." - The Simpsons,
via SHANE SLEIGHTER
"ALF! I never quite got the appeal, but the librarian at the newspaper
where
I used to work was ALF's Number One Fan. He had ALF pictures. ALF
stuffed
animals. He wore ALF t-shirts. He was a helluva great guy, but I
wondered
about him." - PEG WARNER
(Hah! That's really funny, Peg. You worked in a library?! Actually, I
had to work in the JMU library back in 1987 to work off 40 hours of
community service for drinking in public. My job was stuffing those
magnetic detection strips into the spine of, like, a million books. I
threw a bunch out the window, picked them up after work, and glued them
into the lining of my roommate's backpack. For some reason, it didn't
make the alarm go off every time he walked out of the library, but I
think the effort is what counts. And I think God thinks so, too.)
"ALF (although if the 'furry' is officially part of his designation, he
should be FALF, and if he were officially 'a little furry alien life
form' he could be called ALFALFo, which is kinda like that guy from the
Little Rascals, which was bought by Bill Cosby, who was in California
Suite with Walter Matthau, who was in JFK with Kevin Bacon and Vincent
D'Onofrio, the latter of whom was in Full Metal Jacket with one David
George)" - TRIP KIRKPATRICK
Dammit, people, THIS is the kind of effort I want to see on your quizes!
And yes, David George played one of the marines in "Full Metal Jacket".
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/17/98
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 09:01:26 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
07/16/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* ADAM CURRY!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
SEAN BOYLE
CHRISSY FULFARO
MARK GORMAN
AL OSTROWSKI
GEORGE PATCH
NATE RIPPEL
MICHAEL ROLFES
MELISSA SINUNU
BIRGITT TANGERMANN
NEKKO WARD
These contestants win that cool from "The Muppet Movie". (After Dr.
Teeth & The Electric Mayhem got through with it).
(Chrissy gets to drive it first.)
Muchos apologios if you've been getting the DQ twice. Not sure what the
problem is. I've narrowed it down to "Some kind of computer thing."
And now...
*****************
Dear QuizMaster!*
*****************
Dear QuizMaster,
Where's the best place to meet men in the DC area?
Signed,
-Arlington
Dear Arlington (if that is, in fact, your real name)
Home Depot.
(I also see a lot down around Dupont Circle.)
Good luck!
-QuizMaster
Dear Quizmaster,
I am old and I want to retire but I can't because I have to work to
pay alimony. What should I do?
-Withering in Washington
Dear Shri--err, I mean, "Withering",
Have you ever heard the term "You made your bed and you can eat it,
too."? Wait, that's not it. It's "You'd better make your bed before
someone lies in it." Oh, goddamn. Anyway, the point is, you want more
money. That's simple. I saw a "20/20" story on this. All you need is
a supermarket, some "accidentally" spilled meat juice, a realistic
looking fall and a good lawyer. (Better than the one who represented
you in the divorce.)
Good luck and keep me posted. I do care!
-QuizMaster
1. What is your body trying to get more of when you yawn?
Correct Answer: "Oxygen"
2. What traditional New Orleans folk song did The Animals turn into a
number one hit?
Correct Answer: "House of the Rising Sun"
3. Name the movie:
"1500 years ago, everybody 'knew' that the earth was the center of the
universe. 500 years ago, everybody 'knew' that the earth was flat. And
15 minutes ago, you 'knew' that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow."
Correct Answer: "Men In Black"
4. What political group did the former House Un-American Activities
Committee investigate?
"The Beatles" - AMBER CAMPBELL
"COLUMNISTS!! Macarthy must have really despised newspapers. He
probably saw Citizen Kane." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
Correct Answer: "Communists"
Also Accepted: "Columnists"
5. What is the monetary unit of New Zealand and Australia?
"Heh, Heh - he said 'unit'." - SUSANNE TINKER
(Heh, heh - she said "tinker".)
"Koala skins" - DAN RIPPEL
"The ALF Pog" - SCOTT BAGER
"Don't they just make cluccking noises with their tongue." - JENNIE KOSS
(I think you're referring to the !Kung tribesmen of the Kalahari,
Jennie.)
Correct Answer: "Dollar"
"God's currency." - BOYD JOHNSON
"The only difference is that their dollars flush clockwise." - DEVON
TUTAK
6. What coloring chemical in your body gives moles their dark color?
"I believe Crayola calls it "Burnt Sienna", The Indians call it maize."
- CHRIS BLILEY
Correct Answer: "Melanin"
DQFunFact: Contestant SCOTT DAY dated a girl in high school named
"Melanie". And she had a mole.
7. Name the movie:
"How can you shoot women and children?"
"Easy, you don't lead 'em so much!!"
Correct Answer: "Full Metal Jacket"
A couple of you (OK, one) didn't understand what the quote meant. I
won't say who (OK, TISHA STACEY), but "leading" a moving target means
firing in front of them so that they "run into" the bullets. The faster
the target, the more you lead 'em. It's very effective, and frankly,
pretty darn funny.
8. What movie opens in a swamp to the tune of "The Rainbow Connection"?
Correct Answer: "The Muppet Movie"
9. Besides Microsoft Excel, what's your favorite spreadsheet
application?
"I hate all spreadsheet applications. They were invented by the same
guy who invented pantyhose! Phooey!!" - JANICE GLUCK
There were a lot of fine answers, including some very suggestive sexual
ones. People often ask, "Dave how can I get a question right or wrong
if it's a personal preference?" We don't know, and that's why it's so
fascinating.
Correct Answer: "Lotus 1-2-3"
10. What did you have for breakfast today?
Here are just a sampling:
"Cachito de Jamon" - SIMON GOMEZ
"A Slim Jim and a Diet Coke" - ARLENE PAUL
"Francisco Extra Sour Dough toast with Shedd's Spread and Costco honey
and a glass of icewater. The same as every day." - BOYD JOHNSON
"Marshmallow rainbow alpha bits, a mango, & coffee." - CATHIE WALKER
"Coffee with a side of coffee and a little extra coffee." - CHRIS MILLER
"cloves and a pie shell in a bowl of tonic water." - ERIK TUININGA
"Same as usual: bagel, cream cheese, juice, bottle of Prozac." - GEOFF
BROWN
"A yummy poptart" - TRACY GOEBEL
"Flan." - HARRY HELMICH
"Pork chops and applesauce." - ELISSA JACKSON
"Spinach Fettacine and Brook Trout stuffed with shrimps, scallops and
crapmeat. (Leftovers from a date gone awry: Italian joint in the East
Village, great atmoshpere for a heated argument. I took home both
plates though boys. It's the little victories...)" - CHRISTIAN
FRIESENBORG
"Caffeine and nicotine - same as my lunch. For dinner and my midnight
snack I replace the caffeine with alcohol." - MICHELLE WAGNER
"Frito's dipped in barbecue sauce." - NEKKO WARD
"cup of coffee, bowl of cereal, couple of bong hits, and a glass of
juice" - ANONYMOUS
"Mom made me pancakes and, for some reason, ham. I guess we had too
much ham in the house or something." - PAT GEORGE
"Veal, leftover from my Landini Brothers' dinner last night. 2 cups of
coffee and a peanut butter cookie." - MILLIE PERRINE
"You can't HANDLE what I had for breakfast. I have breakfast 100 yards
away from people trained to kill me. You rise and sleep under the e-mail
answers I give and then question the manner in which I eat breakfast?!
I had Count Chocula cereal because we live in a world with walls, son.
And somebody has to stand and guard those walls. Whose gonna do that?
You, David George?! You, emailing me with your faggy little white
uniform on." - JASON CREECH
Correct Answer: "Cachito de Jamon"
Have a nice weekend! Next quiz is Monday!
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/20/98
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1998 09:43:16 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
07/20/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JANICE GLUCK!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
HEATHER BOYLE
AMBER CAMPBELL
GENE CAMPBELL
HARRY HELMICH
GREG HYLTON
ELISSA JACKSON
JEFF MARCIANO
NATE RIPPEL
MELISSA SINUNU
ROBIN VALENTINE
MIKE WAITE
and
WILLIAM WALLACE
These winners will receive contestant GEORGE PATCH! That's right, for
24 hours you will each have George at your disposal to do your bidding.
He's hard-working, strong, and handy with a hammer or mop.
Have fun!
1. Federal racketeering laws are referred to by what one-word name?
Correct Answer: "RICO" (Which stands for "Racketeer Influenced Corrupt
Organizations.")
(Which makes for one hell of an awkward sentence, by the way.)
TRIP KIRKPATRICK points out that it's an acronym, not a name.
Here's another acronym for ya: "STYSLBNIGSY" (Which stands for "
Trip, ya silly little bitch, now I gotta suspend you.")
Note: You lost 2 points if you added "Suave" to you answer.
2. What's the name of the famous corner in San Francisco that served as
the center of the 60's "movement"?
"Ding ding ding goes the trolley. Choo choo choo goes the train. It
has a bee on it and it say's "Be Mine". Uncle Ben don't take no smack
cause Rice-a-Roni where it at. I got two turn tables and microphone.
Mr. Microphone says: "Hi babe! I'll be back to pick you up in half an
hour!" At the sound of the tone it will be 12:22 exactly." - SHANE
SLEIGHTER
(Shane seems to have checked out, folks.)
Correct Answer: "Haight-Ashbury, and if anyone misses this when you
mentioned it up above, they should be suspended. Well, not suspended,
but certainly ridiculed." - CRAIG STACEY
It's true, I did mention the corner in JANICE GLUCK's bio. Dig:
"...having once killed a guy in a bar fight in Haight-Ashbury."
But I can't stoop so low as to actually name the people who got it
wrong!
Oh, the hell I can't:
DARREN BLACK
STEVE ROGEN
and
ASHLEY HARTMAN
You three are hereby suspended. Sorry.
Good heavens, that's FOUR suspensions in one day. A new record!
3. In the movie "Say Anything", what is "the sport of the future"
according to Lloyd Dobler?
"BASEketball" - JEREMY GEORGE
Correct Answer: "Kickboxing... sport of the future... Don the Dragon
Wilson... ever heard of it?" - DEVON TUTAK (+1, great "Say Anything"
quote.)
4. Two Indians are walking down a path. The little Indian is the big
Indian's son, but the big Indian is not the little Indian's father. Who
is the big Indian?
Correct Answer: "The little Indian's mother. This riddle just
demonstrates the sexist attitude most people have." - LIZ CHARLES
(Hmm? I'm sorry, Liz, I was viewing porn. What did you say?)
Also Accepted: "Lou Diamond Phillips" - KATE KIRKPATRICK
5. Electrical resistance is used to measure what in sea water?
A lot of you said that it measures the salt content, but...
Correct Answer: "Salinity"
Just kidding. No, I mean, "salinity" is the answer, but I was just
kidding about saying that - oh, never mind.
6. What sport combines cross-country skiing and marksmanship?
Correct Answer: "Skooting" - GREG HYLTON
Actually, "Biathlon"
7. What company's new commercials feature the "Oven Car 2000"?
Correct Answer: "Domino's Pizza"
8. Name the movie:
"There is a war going on in the east. How is it you are heading west?"
"Well, you face north and, real sudden-like, turn left."
Correct Answer: "Last of the Mohicans"
9. In what sport did Tony Danza once consider going professional?
Correct Answer: "Boxing"
10. Where is the World Court located?
"Tysons II" - SCOTT DAY (Scott, that's the world's greatest *food*
court.) (But full credit, anyway.)
"The Hague, Netherlands" (Contestant GENE CAMPBELL was born there.)
(The Hague, not the World Court.)
Next DQ will be coming out tomorrow. See ya then! (Except for Trip,
Ashley, Steve and Darren, of course.)
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/23/98
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1998 08:11:01 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
07/23/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* JANICE GLUCK!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
JUSTIN RAINEY
ALLEN BORN
ARLENE PAUL
SCOTT BAGER
DEVON TUTAK
BIRGITT TANGERMANN
BOYD JOHNSON
JOHN BRENCE
BRIAN BEARD
BRIAN SARMAN
YVONNE (I don't have your last name, Yvonne!)
AMBER CAMPBELL
CATHLEEN MCCORMICK
CHRIS BLILEY
CHRIS MENARD
CHRISTIAN FRIESENBORG
CRAIG STACEY
CASSIE DAILEY
NINA DANG
DAVE MANLEY
DAVID QUINN
DOUG ADAMS
GENE CAMPBELL
GEOFF BROWN
GORDON HADA
DAVE HAGLER
HEATHER BOYLE
GREG HYLTON
ELISSA JACKSON
JAMES GAINES
JAMES MORRISARD
JAMES GILKESON
JASON CREECH
JOHN GREEN
JOHN HERING
JOHN MILIKOWSKY
JONATHAN COLAN
JON DAVID
JOSEPH HAMILTON
JUSTINE STEVENS
KATE KIRKPATRICK
HARRIS KAY
KEN LIFLAND
KOREN GOUTOS
LEETO TLOU
MARILYN MOYER-WARD
LUCY MCCONELL
BRYAN MAGUIRE
HEATHER MAST
MATT YOUNG
PETER MCGRATH
MELISSA SINUNU
MICHAEL HYLTON
MICHAEL ROLFES
MIKE MORRIS
NATE RIPPEL
TOM O'REILLY
PAT GEORGE
PAUL GEORGE
GEORGE PATCH
PAUL VAN TUYLE
PEG WARNER
JOEL PFYFFER
REBECCA DICK
DAN RIPPEL
ROB BUCKANAVAGE
ROB DANIELS
ROB WAGNER
SALLY STENGEL
SCOTT BOYLE
SCOTT DAY
SHANE SLEIGHTER
STEPHEN STEWART
TARA WHEELER
TOM BAKER
TONY PUGLIESE
TRIP KIRKPATRICK
TRIP MORANO
ROBIN VALENTINE
VICTORIA PETERSEN
MICHELLE WAGNER
WILLIAM WALLACE
BILLY TYRRELL
JP XENAKIS
STEPHAN DIAMOND
AL OSTROWSKI
CHRISTOPHER NEFF
JENNIFER KOSS
KARL ROTHMAN
Today's winners will receive two passes to the blockbuster new movie
"Saving Private Sleighter", a stirring account of eight soldiers sent on
an impossible mission to get one man a date.
Way to go!!
*******************
Friday means
"Dear QuizMaster"!
*******************
Dear QuizMaster,
My friends and I seem to have a drinking problem. Our main problem is
that
there are not enough days in the weekends or hours in the weekdays to
recover from hangovers. What should we do?
Yours truly,
-Seldomly Sober
Dear SS,
Helloooo?! Ya know, I get really annoyed by substance abusers who look
for help when the answer is obvious. The planet Mercury has a day
lasting 1,407.6 hours. Just relocate. That will give you the kind of
time you're looking for.
Doy.
-QuizMaster
Dear QuizMaster,
Hello, I would like to respectfully ask to be taken off suspension. I
really like the DQ, and am sorry that I didn't know "Haight-Ashbury",
but I didn't realize that you had hinted at it earlier. Please?
-Crying in Cleveland
Dear Crying,
Shutup. Just shut up.
You had me at "Hello".
-QuizMaster
Sorry the answers below are a little sparse. All my time was taken up
making everyone who played a Big Winner. Dig the tradeoff? Sort of a
guns/butter thing.
1. Where did those horny kids on Happy Days go to make out?
A lot of you said "Their parents' house." or "Fonzi's apartment."
Correct Answer: "Inspiration Point"
Many of you added that they went there to watch the "submarine races".
You got an extra point for that.
2. What TV show's theme song told you to keep your eye on the sparrow?
Correct Answer: "Baretta"
BRIAN BEARD included in his answer a story that was reeeeally long and
marginally entertaining. (Just kidding, Brian.) But I thought it would
be more fun to just include part of it below:
"He(guard) yells: "leave it there!"
I say: "I'm just going to put it back." Which probably sounded more
like
"Imfjust gnanna fut it fack"
Guard says: "LEAVE IT!"
My friend says: "we got him sir, we'll take him home."
Guard says: "okay"
Me getting dragged by my friends and noticing the groups of people
sitting
outside laughing: "Come on you didn't think that was funny" to the guard
My friends drag me more
My other friend says to the guard: "Come on that WAS funny"
The guard looks at me scornfully."
You can just imagine the whole story.
3. What band made their fans mad by saying they were bigger than Jesus?
Correct Answer: "The Beatles"
4. How do you feel when you believe you've scored well, but don't win
the DQ? (Take a moment to really get in touch with your feelings here.)
"I realize that score really has nothing to do with winning or losing.
It's all style here at the DQ! So, in answer to your question, I don't
feel bad. It just makes me strive to be funnier the next day...(cue
.Climb Every Mountain'.)" - ELISSA JACKSON
"Comfortably numb." - CHRIS BLILEY
"It hurts. But not as much as when I think I've got a hilarious, witty,
milk-coming-out-of-your-nose funny answer and it doesn't get in the
daily
answers. I spend minutes, sometimes hours that my client pays for to
come
up with these gems (such as this one), only to be disappointed when they
don't make it." - DAVE HAGLER
Correct Answer: "I feel an inner peace - I only answer the questions
for my own satisfaction. If I am correct, and am recognized by the
QuizMaster, I feel an extra measure of satisfaction to have my answers
recognized." - KEN LIFLAND
(There were a lot of really funny answers to this question, and I will
be sprinkling future DA's with them, but tonight I have to prepare for a
big camping trip. ("Prepare" meaning "Buy the biggest bottle of Beam
the ABC store's got.")
5. Name the movie:
"'Rock,' he said, 'sometime when the team is up against it and the
breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they've
got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then,
Rock,' he said, 'but I'll know about it and I'll be happy.'"
Correct Answer: "Knute Rockne: All American"
Also Accepted: "Rudy"
6. Which of the U.S. service academies was founded most recently?
Correct Answer: "The United States Air Force Academy"
7. Peterbilt, Mac and Kenworth are examples of what?
DAVE MANLEY pointed out that it should be spelled "Mack". Thanks, Dave!
Correct Answer: "Big Rig Trucks"
8. What is the subway system called in London?
Correct Answer: "The Tube" or "The Underground"
9. What famous store does Mohammed al-Fayed own?
Correct Answer: "Harrod's"
10. What hairstyle did Bo Derek make popular in the movie "10"?
Correct Answer: "Those wacky cornrows. I always loved it in middle
school when girls would return from a family Caribbean vacation with a
head full o' cornrows. I hated to tell them, that in order for white
girls to get away with that style, they had to have bodies like Bo's." -
ELISSA JACKSON
Have a nice weekend!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/27/98
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1998 11:29:42 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
07/27/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MONICA MEJIA!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
BRIAN EDMONDS
KIM FERNANDEZ
JOHN GREEN
ERIC HURET
ELISSA JACKSON
MEREDITH LINBERGER
MONICA MEJIA
CARLOS OTAL
TOM O'REILLY
SANDI ROTHMAN
JUSTIN WARD
PEG WARNER
These contestants will receive a Sig Sauer 9mm pistola with Tritium
night sights.
Way to go!
1. What was the secret message that Ralphy was finally able to decode
with his decoder ring in "A Christmas Story"?
"Rush Limbaugh is a Big, Fat, Idiot." - MARK SCHMIDT (Incorrect, but
this is a very funny book by Al Franken.)
Incorrect Answer: "Eat more Cheesy Poofs." - TED MOYER
Correct Answer: "Be Sure To Drink Your Ovaltine." - YVONNE HABERKORN
Better Answer: "You'll put your eye out if you put your tongue on a
cold glass of Ovaltine." - JUSTIN WARD
2. In trucker language, what's a "Kojak with a Kodak"?
Correct Answer: "A cop with a radar gun."
3. TRIP MORANO has a 9mm pistola with a radioactive isotope called
Tritium painted on it in three spots. What's that for?
Bad Answer: "What?!" - REBECCA DICK
Good Answer: "To impress the ladies. Works for me." - MONICA MEJIA
(Trip, how much was that gun?)
Great Answer: "Doesn't tritium glow? I think it might, so my answer is
that it's painted on there so that when Trip, being inebriated out in a
field somewhere shooting at airplanes, drops said pistola, he'll be able
to find it on the ground in the darkness." - JOHN GREEN (John does not
know Trip, but pretty much pegged the guy.)
"...allowing him to shoot as poorly in low light as in good light." -
STEVE BOSWELL (Steve *does* know Trip.)
Correct Answer: "Tritium glows. Commonly called night sights...lining
sights up in the dark so as to hit what one aims at....they work
wonderfully." - Special Agent SEAN BOYLE, FBI (Let's all wish Sean luck
as he prepares to go look for that Rudolph character in North Carolina.
Go get'im, Sean!)
4. Name the movie:
"I want my two dollars!"
Correct Answer: "Better Off Dead"
5. What was Agent Orange used for during the Vietnam War?
Correct Answer: "Defoliate the trees & brush to eliminate hiding places
for the VC." - KEN LIFLAND
Ken, I would only suggest that next time you not use words like
"defoliate". Some people may not be as smart as you and me.
("Defoliate", by the way, means "To paint something orange.")
(Kidding.)
(Actually, Navy river boats were suffering heavy casualties because the
VC could hide right on the edge of the river and shoot at the men on the
boats. Admiral Elmo Zumwalt gave the order to use the chemical to get
rid of all the leaves like Ken described. Admiral Zumwalt's son was
actually on one of those boats and ended up dying of the cancer he got
from the Agent Orange. It's all in the book "My Father, My Son" by Elmo
Zumwalt, Jr and Elmo Zumwalt III.)
6. What was Ross's monkey's name on "Friends"?
Correct Answer: "Marcel"
7. What TV show's opening credits showed, among other things, a really
big wave, a jet airplane taking off, and a hula dancer?
Correct Answer: "Hawaii Five-0"
"The really big wave was in Jack Lord's Hair." - TED MOYER
8. Name the movie:
"Were are you from?"
"Austria."
"Austria! Well, then, G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the
barbie!"
"Let's not."
Correct Answer: "Dumb & Dumber"
9. What's it called when a member of Congress delays a vote by holding
the floor and talking for a really long time?
Correct Answer: "Filibuster"
"But you forgot the follow-on question required for completeness: In
which chamber would the Member be speaking? Ans: Senate. Why?: The
House of Representatives has no provision for filibuster in their
protocols." - SHRIVER HERING
Oh.
10. If you were stranded on a desert island, and could have the
following items with you, what would you choose?
OK, way too many of you screwed this one up. I wanted you to pick one
of EACH item, but a lot of you said something like, "I'd take the
book." (OK, maybe I wasn't clear enough. I'll take part of the blame.)
Here are just a few of the good and smart people who understood the
question:
VICTORIA PETERSEN
one book:Where the Wild Things Are
one CD: Blown Away Soundtrack
one board game: Checkers
one person of the opposite sex: my dad
one person of the same sex: Zena, she'd get us off the island
one item from Taco Bell's menu (To exclude Choco Tacos, cuz they'd
melt): Mexican Pizza
one famous talking animal: The Momma Dog from "Babe"
PATRICK SOLOMON
one book: Lonesome Dove
one CD: "Journeyman" by Eric Clapton
one board game: Monopoly
one person of the opposite sex: Ashley Judd
one person of the same sex: N/A
one item from Taco Bell's menu (To exclude Choco Tacos, cuz they'd
melt): Double Decker Taco
one famous talking animal: Lieutenant Worf
GORDON HADA
one book: The Art of Desert Island Cooking
one CD: Garth Brooks The Hits
one board game: Operation
one person of the opposite sex: Meg Ryan
one person of the same sex: Carrot Top because he can make anything
out of a coconut shell.
one item from Taco Bell's menu:
one famous talking animal: Babe.. MMMM....Poooooork!
SIMON GOMEZ OF VENEZUELA
one book: A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole (wherever I am
it makes me feel at home)
one CD: The latest of Propellerheads
one board game: Monopolly (Stars War edition)
one person of the opposite sex: My grilfriend
one person of the same sex: My girlfriend
one item from Taco Bell's menu: A large Diet Pepsi
one famous talking animal: My girlfriend (ok, ok!! . . . but she's quite
famous down here, and believe me she can talk too!)
JONATHAN COLAN
one book: -This Side of Paradise [it's a relatively long book with
enough
scope, wit, and tension to keep me occupied]
one CD: -Abbey Road [I figured you wouldn't let me get away with a
double album like the White Album]
one board game: -Chess
one person of the opposite sex: -Drew Barrymore [she's hot and easy]
one person of the same sex: -my friend Chris [he's married and would
stay away from Drew]
one item from Taco Bell's menu: -tofu burrito [of course]
one famous talking animal: Scoobie-Doo [he'd have scoobie-snacks]
GEOFF BROWN
one book: Executive Orders, by Tom Clancy
one CD: Sticky Fingers, by the Rolling Stones
one board game: The Star Wars version of Monopoly
one person of the opposite sex: Alicia Silverstone
one person of the same sex: My friend Jim, with the understanding that
he keeps his damned hands off of (a) Alicia Silverstone, and (b) me.
one item from Taco Bell's menu: Steak Supreme Gordita
one famous talking animal: Scooby Doo
JAMES DONAHUE
one book: War and Peace (because its really long)
one CD: Bob Marley's Legend (good island music)
one board game: Twister
one person of the opposite sex: Elle MacPherson
one person of the same sex: Issaac the Bartender from Love Boat
one item from Taco Bell's menu: Double Decker Taco
one famous talking animal: The Mermaid from Splash
KATE KIRKPATRICK
one book: A Prayer for Owen Meany
one CD: Exile on Main Street
one board game: I hate g.d. board games
one person of the opposite sex: my friend Brett
one person of the same sex: my friend Stacey
one item from Taco Bell's menu: 7 layer burritos
one famous talking animal: Alf
ROB WAGNER
one book: W.P. Kinsella's "Shoeless Joe"
one CD: Greg Brown's "Further In"
one board game: Strat-O-Matic Baseball
one person of the opposite sex: Minnie Driver
one person of the same sex: Ted Williams, to talk about baseball. Plus,
he's
like 80-something, so compared to him, I'm looking pretty good to
Minnie.
one item from Taco Bell's menu: Mexican Pizza
one famous talking animal: There are so many to choose from. I would
have to
say Garry Gnu from the Great Space Coaster. That way, I could get the
news.
"This is Garry Gnu reminding you that no gnus is good gnus."
MELISSA SINUNU
one book: How to win friends and influence people
one CD: Evita (w/Patti Lepone as Evita, not Madonna)
one board game: Monopoly - my first thought was Trivial Pursuit, but
if we're stuck there for too long you'd learn all the answers and it
wouldn't be so fun anymore. But we can never go wrong with a game
about bankrupting friends and family.
one person of the opposite sex: The QuizMaster
one person of the same sex: Birgitt Tangermann
one item from Taco Bell's menu: Those cinnamon crisps
one famous talking animal: Babe (dinner)
BIRGITT TANGERMANN
one book: Green eggs and Ham
one CD: Bacon Brothers
one board game: Monopoly (I can pretend I'm eight people as I play)
one person of the opposite sex: the DQ master of course, Dave George
one person of the same sex: my best friend, Melissa Sinunu
one item from Taco Bell's menu: Burrito Supreme
one famous talking animal: Mr. Ed
BYRON KERR
one book: 1998 NFL RECORD & FACT BOOK
one CD: Dave Mathews Band Live from red Rocks
one board game: Monopoly
one person of the opposite sex: Jewel
one person of the same sex: John Elway
one item from Taco Bell's menu: Mexican Pizza
one famous talking animal: Flipper
STEPHAN DIAMOND:
one book: Robinson Crusoe - I could act out situations
one cd: beethoven's ninth symphony
one board game: monopoly - we could always burn the money
one person of the opposite sex: Jennifer Lopez (I just saw Out of Sight
this weekend, she would definitely do)
one person of the same sex: Bob Villa - could build the house to live
in and boat needed to get off and wouldn't be attractive to the woman
nor interested, he be trying build more things.
one item from Taco Bell's menu: I don't eat fast food so I'm not
familiar with their menu
one famous talking animal: Mr. Ed
What would the QuizMaster want?
one book: "A Soldier of the Great War" by Mark Helprin
one CD: "Simon and Garfunkel's Concert in Central Park"
one board game: Risk
one person of the opposite sex: Sarah Silverman. She's a comedian and
was one of Mary's friends in "There's Something About Mary". Also, she
was on "The Larry Sanders Show". She had this great line: "The other
night I was licking jelly off my boyfriend, and I thought to myself, 'Oh
my God! I'm becoming my mother!'"
one person of the same sex: Dave Letterman
one item from Taco Bell's menu: Double Decker Taco Supreme
one famous talking animal: Templeton the Rat
Did putting the QuizMaster on your list help you today? But of course!
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/28/98
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1998 09:57:44 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
The Daily Answers
07/28/98
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MONICA MEJIA!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
TOM BAKER
SEAN BOYLE
SHRIVER HERING
CHARLES MASSEY
HEATHER MAST
CHRIS MILLER
SANDI ROTHMAN
TARA WHEELER
These contests will each receive trasactional immunity.
Way to go!!
1. Name the movie:
"Yes? You know a little English?"
"Son of beetch! Sheet!"
"'Milli Vanilli: The Early Years', starring Jimmy 'Dyn-o-mite!' Walker
as Fab and Richard 'Shaft' Roundtree as Rob (This went straight to
video, by the way.)" - JAMES GAINES
Correct Answer: "Stripes"
"Good Morning. This is Basic English. My name is Russel Zitski, and
I'm going to be your instructor. You can call me Russel, and I plan on
calling you by your first names, because, quite frankly, I'd have a
pretty tough time pronouncing some of your last names." - MICHELLE
WAGNER
2. Where is the Rayburn Building?
"The Rugburn building is in Washington. To be more specific, it's
another name for the Oval Office." - HEATHER MAST
Correct Answer: "Washington D.C. It's one of the congressional office
buildings, named for Sam Rayburn." - JONATHAN COLAN
3. What's Bill Clinton's middle name?
Correct Answer: "Jefferson"
4. How much is the Powerball jackpot up to?
Well now, at the time this question was asked, the Correct Answer was
"250 Million Dollars". But by the time the drawing occurred it was up
to 295 Million.
(For the record, I didn't win.)
(I didn't play, either, but that hardly affected my chances.)
5. The odds of a person picking the right 6 numbers in Powerball are
80.1 million to 1. How did they calculate those odds?
"I have no idea. But did you know that you are far more likely to be
killed by an animal, electrocuted, die by poisoning, die as a result of
surgery, be killed by falling from bed or even freezing to death than
win all or part of the $250 million prize?" - DEVON TUTAK
(Yes, but imagine winning Powerball and then getting killed by an
animal. What are the chances of THAT happening? You'd have to be the
luckiest person on Earth!)
Only TWO people got this answer right! SHRIVER HERING and CHRIS MILLER
I know both these fellers and can vouch for their being able to answer
this question without outside help.
Here is Shriver's answer:
"Well, Quizmaster, the answer is not extant, but I'll try to explain.
In Powerball, you choose 5 numbered balls without replacement from a
pool of 49. The key is that the order in which you select the first
five balls does not matter. So basically you're asking, how many
different number combinations can I have if I reach into a bowl of 49
numbered balls and grab 5? The answer is n!/(n-r)!r!, which is
(49x48x47x46x45)/(5x4x3x2x1) = 1,906,884. Now, in Powerball, the 6th
ball is different: You start with just 42 numbered balls, and choose
1. Therefore, you have 1 chance in 42 (1/42) of choosing the right
number. So the number of possible combinations is now 1,906,884 x 42 =
80,089,128. So you have approx. 1 chance in 80.1 million of winning."
- SHRIVER HERING
(Also, Shriver gets a bonus point for using the word "Extant".)
(Did the QuizMaster know this answer? Hell no.)
(It should be noted that MICHAEL ROLFES had the formula right, but the
numbers wrong.)
6. On "The Beverly Hillbillies", what did the Clampett's call their
swimming pool?
Correct Answer: "The cement pond."
"The 'seement' pond. When I was a lad, I would watch that show day in
and day out, just waiting to see Elly May by the seement pond in a
bikini. Never happened." - BASIL MAKHARITA
7. Name the movie:
"My father and brother were in the army. I figured I better join before
I got drafted."
"Son there ain't no draft no more."
"There was one?"
Correct Answer: "Stripes" (Hey, what do you want? I love Bill Murray.)
8. "Arrangement in Grey and Black" painted by James McNeill Whistler is
better known as what?
Correct Answer: "Whistler's Mother"
9. What was Tonto's nickname for the Lone Ranger? What did it mean?
Correct Answer: "Kemosabe: 'Trusted Friend'"
Dang, if a ton of ya didn't say that it meant "Horses ass".
10. In this year's Goodwill Games, what country won the Gold in women's
soccer?
Correct Answer: "U.S.A."
Tune in tomorrow for the results of our Big DQ Survey! (And get your
responses in if you haven't already.)
Dave
Subject: The Daily Answers 07/29/98
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 11:42:31 -0400
Organization: Perspective Technology Corporation
by Dave George
**************************
* Contestant of the Week *
* MONICA MEJIA!! *
* *
**************************
Today's Big Winners:
Everyone who responded will be receiving two free passes to see the hit
movie "There's Something About Saving Private Mary", a heartbreaking and
hysterical story of 8 private investigators sent to France to find a
beautiful soldier whose dog had died.
Way to go!
1. Describe an interesting run-in you've had with the law.
Dig, some of your stories are so funny that I busted out laughing at my
desk, but for space reasons I could only pick a handful, and had to
include brief snippets of others. HOWEVER, I am going to compile all
the stories into one Word document, so if you want it let me know and
I'll email it to ya.
"Don't flick off a cop across a median while speeding and drinking beer,
he will bust you and take you to jail." - WILLIAM WALLACE (Noted.
Thanks, William!)
"...some senile old neighbors who I guess forgot that I used to live
there saw me, Clanton, and another high school freind dressed in cammo
and carrying armloads of guns and shit out of my house and and loading
them into Clanton's Dad's Caddy." - STEVE BOSWELL
"...After a while a guy returned and told me that if I agreed to mail a
bunch of his letters when I got to Belgium, I would be allowed to leave
Zaire." - TOM BAKER
"Got pulled over for drunk driving in my driveway. House blinking blue
and white, me doing the ABC's, Mom looking from the window. Cop was a
friend of my brother's and let me go." - TOM O'REILLY
"...I come back downstairs and the cop is just standing there shaking
his head, and says, 'You are the luckiest person in DC...I'm gonna let
you go.'" - PJ HENRY
"...No, sir. I don't like the taste of beer." - ROB WAGNER
"...the Policia drove by, caught a long, lingering eyeful and swerved
just in time to avoid making a street light a permanent addition to
their squad car." - MARIANNE TEAGUE
"I was chased by Mexican border federales and had to hide in a sewage
pipe for 4 hours." - DAVE HAGLER
"...As we were sitting in the back of the crusier, he began coming in
and out of consciousness. While conscious, the only thing he could do
was puke." - HARRY HELMICH
"Here's the best I can do. My brother in law was at a high school
party (when he was still in high school obviously) that got raided by
the police. He was hiding in the attic with a very large girl when the
ceiling gave way and they fell through to the second floor and were
captured and taken down to the station." - ALLEN BORN
"...There I was, naked, minding my own business, when..." - LEETO TLOU
"The last thing I had was a citation for a loud party. It was a jazz
band at 9:45 on a Saturday night. The cop who gave me the ticket was a
buddy that I went to high school with. I was fined $60 by the judge.
The guy in front of me 1) ran a red light with a delivery truck and 2)
sideswiped a little old lady who came to testify with a neck brace. He
was fined $40. When I went to pay the fine, the truck driver was
laughing at me and said that the judge must have been a neighbor." -
BRIAN SARMAN
"Cop pulled me over for some technical violation. Asks me how many
beers I had drank, of course I said one. Step out of the car. Go
through the tests, then he states, I want you to count backward from 20
to 40 for me. I looked at him and said 'You want me to count backwards
from 40 to 20, or forwards from 20 to 40? You can't count backwards
from 20 to 40. Cop looked at me and said 'Boy, if you can figure that
out, then you're all right to drive.'" - JON DAVID
"My friends and I thought it would be funny to tie toilet paper across
this highway and have cars break through like a finish line in a race.
Well, the first car who should drive up was Virginia Beach's finest.
The officer gives us a lecture and takes our names. Then he says "And I
know you guys wouldn't toilet paper houses in that neighborhood. But
I'll check just in case." Of course, we had hit about a dozen houses
before doing the finish line thing. So after he drives off, we sprint
around the neighborhood removing all the toilet paper." - DAN RIPPEL
"...after about 15 minutes or so, the cops figured out that it was me
and my friend that were the arsonists." - BRYAN MAGUIRE
"...our ID's were quickly returned as the cops moved on to our Asian
saviors." - GEORGE PATCH
Cop - "what are you doing?"
Me - "nothing."
Cop - "do you always do nothing with your fly down?" - NATE RIPPEL
"Ok, I was in Georgia (land of "Deliverance") with a colleague on a
business trip. We were driving ("Aintree? You cain' get to Aintree
from here...")on a back road in western Georgia, when we passed a Law
Man, his Ford Mustang parked on the median, a true Kojak with a Kodak.
Anyway, he pulls us over (my friend was driving). So, as he's writing
out the ticket, my friend, concerned about his insurance rates, asks an
innocent question to the Officer. 'Do you have reciprocity with
Virginia?' A puzzled expression comes across the Law Man's face, he
tips his Smokey hat back and says, 'Huh?' A moment of silence passes
and then in a deep Georgia drawl he says,'You jus' better pay that
ticket, boy.'" - DAVE MANLEY
"...and the officer then tells us that the trunk was riding very low and
he thought there might be a body in there." - JONATHAN COLAN
"In 11th grade at our alma mater Robinson High, we decided to TP a
friends house for their B-day, however, one of my brilliant friends
decided it would be a better idea to shoot bottle rockets at the house
to wake up the family at 3 AM to check out our wonderful work.
Unfortunately, we did not stick around long enough to see a lot of the
TP catch on fire and burn a car and some bushes and trees. Two hours
later, Fairfax counties finest were at our door saying we were being
arrested for arson. Boy, that was fun trying to explain that one to my
parents. We had to appear in front of the fire marshall and explain our
actions with Mom and Dad in tow. Not a very pleasant experience for any
of us. Fortunately, the charges were dropped, but I still like burning
things and leaving pipe bombs on golf courses in Fairfax County.
Fire....Fire...." - DR. BILL TYRRELL
"You see, there were these pesky undercover ABC officers, I was drinking
underage with a fake ID, and everything would've been fine if I could've
remembered the friggin' address. But evidently they don't accept,
'Somewhere in Woodbridge.'" - GREG HYLTON
"...Luckily, those island cops liked to see butts (someone had a T-bar
on) and wet, clinging clothing, so they just told us to move along and
be quieter. - ELISSA JACKSON
As for the QuizMaster? Well, let's see...Here are just two of the many:
-1991- "Discharging a firearm within city limits" was the exact charge,
but the judge agreed with me that a BB gun doesn't involve fire in any
way, and he dropped the charge. He asked if I had any questions, and I
asked if I could have my gun back from the cops. He laughed and said
yes. The cop was not as happy.
-1996- Assault and battery at a Blues Traveller concert. JEFF MARCIANO
was with me on this one. Jeff's dad hooked us up with a really great
lawyer who agreed, for one low price, to get us convicted on all
counts. (It was overturned on appeal. We were only trying to help a
girl who was getting attacked by her psycho boyfriend. True story.)
**Here is a truly great story from PETE WILLSEY** (It's long, but worth
it.)
"After finishing up a Friday night shift at Chadwick's in Old Town, I
agreed to help the bartenders "inventory the bar," which entailed doing
a shot of every bottle we counted. Against the advice of the
bartenders, at 3AM I decided to drive to some party in the hopes of
locating a particular woman who was not adamantly against the idea of
casual fooling around. Driving up King Street near the Masonic Temple
by myself, drunk as a loon, I managed to veer right into a telephone
pole. I got out of the car, noticed it was VERY dented and that the
front axle seemed to be bent. Policeman arrived as I was standing
outside the car examining my work, and asked if it was my car. When I
said yes, he said that he was going to have to book me for drunk driving
(no test was necessary to determine my drunkeness). I then proceeded to
explain to him that while it was my car, and admitting that I was drunk,
I hadn't actually been driving the car. He asked me how that could be
the case, since no one else was around. The fable began. I told him
that I had a girfriend (lie #1) who had been driving the car (lie #2)
because I was drunk. I explained that I had gotten a little frisky in
the car and distracted her, so she ran into the telephone pole. I went
on to explain that she lived in the neighborhood and had VERY, VERY
strict parents, who would kill her if they found out about the accident,
so I told her to walk home and that I would stay with the car. When the
policeman asked who my girlfriend was, I broke down in tears and said
that I couldn't divulge her name because I loved her and didn't want her
to get in trouble, but that I would "take the rap." He said, "son, you
can't do that -- tell me her name." I couldn't come up with a name for
my phantom girlfriend, so he ended up hauling me down to jail.
The night magistrate concluded that I couldn't be charged with DUI since
I hadn't been spotted behind the wheel (and the officer believed my
"girlfriend" story), so they booked me on "obstruction of justice."
Spent night in jail. Got very ornery and refused to let them properly
take my fingerprints -- everytime they dipped my fingers in the ink I
smudged it across the card (until they got REALLY mad). Also refused to
look at the camera for my mug shot, so my photo ended up having two
large hands around the top of my head turning me toward the camera.
Also tried to convince a crack dealer to "bust out" with me. Also
refused a breathlyzer test on the ground that I could opt for a blood
test, then, when they got the blood test kit out, refused blood test on
the grounds that I was "afraid of needles." (they eventually held me
down and extracted blood for the test). In general, I was a complete
ass.
End of story is that 2 months later at the preliminary hearing, the
judge just made me sweep the back steps of the courthouse, and let me go
with a warning that if he ever saw me in court again he'd "throw the
book at me." (now I'm a lawyer, and luckily he retired). Finally, the
crack dealer whom I tried to convince to escape jail with me showed up
at the same hearing. When he saw me walking down the hall outside the
courtroom, trying to look like a nice college guy, he started laughing
out loud and telling everybody that I was a lunatic." - PETE WILLSEY
...and finally, from SCOTT ELDRIDGE, here is my favorite story. I hope
it's yours, too.
"Mardi Gras - A real jackass I know thought it would be funny to sneak
up on a mounted policeman and smack his horse on the butt. Although
being told he was an idiot, he proceeded to weave through the crowd,
giggling the whole time, got right up to the horse, wound up and "wham!"
- smacked the horse real hard, and then quickly snuck away. The horse
bucked slightly but was otherwise not visibly affected. Now this guy
was trying to blend in with the crowd and make his way back to his
friends, but everyone had agreed to hide from him across the street.
However, another cop on foot happened to see the whole thing. He went
up to the cop on the horse and pointed out the culprit. The furious
mounted cop made his way over to the perp, pointed to him saying "Hey,
buddy. come over here." The kid tentatively walked up to the cop,
fearing immediate imprisonment and the end of his Mardi Gras fun. The
cop leaned over, grabbed the kid by the back of the head and "wham,
wham, wham" punched him in the face three times and said 'If you ever
touch my horse again, I will f@$%ing kill you!' and let him go." - SCOTT
ELDRIDGE
2. What's your favorite Bill Murray movie?
"Little Shop of Horrors" - 1
"Caddyshack" - 15
"Groundhog Day" - 10
"Quick Change" - 3
"Scrooged" - 5
"What About Bob" - 7
"King Pin" - 8
"Ghostbusters" - 10
"Meatballs" - 7
"Where the Buffalo Roam" - 2
...and with 23 votes, the winner is: "Stripes"
3. What's your favorite Bill Murray quote?
"Lee Harvey ... YOU are madman. When you, and your friend, stole that
cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party
with you." - STEVE DUBUC (Stripes)
"Canonball comin'!" - A few of you. (Caddyshack)
"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" - HEATHER MAST
(Animal House. A very wrong answer to this question
but a fine quote, nonetheless.)
"Pa-a-astry? Pa-astry Larry?" - YVONNE HABERKORN (Groundhog Day)
"Have you tried staples?" - SCOTT BAGER (Scrooged)
"Yes, it's true, this man has no dick." - Couple of ya (Ghostbusters)
"I'm sailing!" - MILLIE PERRINE (What About Bob)
"Back off man. I'm a scientist." - NATE RIPPEL (Ghostbusters)
"And the flowers are still standing!" - A few of ya. (Ghostbusters)
"I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and
drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a
pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over..."
- MATT YOUNG (Groundhog Day)
...and the winner is:
"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on
as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a
caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you
think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama.
The flowing robes, the grace, bald...striking. So, I'm on the first tee
with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one---big
hitter, the Lama---long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at
the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga
galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's
gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little
something, you know, for the effort, you know. "And he says, "Oh, uh,
there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will
receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is
nice." - (Lots of ya.) (Caddyshack)
4. Share with the gang an embarassing moment from a job interview.
"Once, during law school, I had a series of interviews, all in one day.
I went through each one, and I thought they generally went pretty well.
Then, when I got home that night, I looked in the mirror and realized
that my suit coat did not match my suit pants. Boy, was I
embarrassed." - STEVE DUBUC
"I laughed at one of the interviewers jokes and snot came out of my
nose." - JOHN GREEN
"I just had a job interview yesterday. I think my breast may have been
showing, but I'm not sure. I guess I'll find out if I get the job." -
REBECCA DICK
"Went through the entire interview before I noticed that my blouse was
gaping open right at the middle, exposing me as a Maidenform Woman for
all to see." - ROBIN VALENTINE
"My button popped off the middle of my suit (you know, where my chest
is) and it went flying across the table and landed in my supervisor's
potato salad." - JENNIE KOSS
"I've never really had an interview. But, I do have an embarrassing
moment of Susie Tinker's I'd like to share if she doesn't come forward
on her own: An interviewer once asked her where she saw herself in five
years (meaning professionally) and Susie replied: 'Married with three
kids?'" - CHARLES MASSEY
"Well, there was the interview with someone at my current job (I had to
interview with around 10 people), and one of the people was pretty bad
at interviewing, so we just mostly sat and stared at each other for 30
minutes. No really embarassing, but uncomfortable. He's a really nice
guy and we talk lots now." - CRAIG STACEY
"The day before I came to Washington to interview for this job, I fell
on the treadmill (impaired, me, why do you say that?) and I seared about
twelve layers of skin off my knees. So of course, I had to wear pants
rather than a skirt, and the puss from my wounds seeped through the
bandages and kept making my pants stick to my knees. So each time we
stood up to go and interview with another person in the office, I had to
peel the pants away from my knees or walk around with them all bunched
up. I felt so pretty on that day." - JENNIFER GORING
"I interviewed one night at AMS about 3 years ago. The first 30 seconds
of the interview went really well, I mean, I was doing GREAT. Then I
started sweating. Flop sweat. Nervous sweat. Like Albert Brooks in
'Broadcast News'. Rivulets of sweat were running down my face. I just
sat there and continued talking while the gal interviewing me moved back
slowly. Then they offered me the job, I started the next day, and quit
the day after that. (True story.) - DAVE GEORGE
5. What's your favorite drinking game?
"Any of those tv show ones. There's a Buffy one now where you drink
every time she shows her bra strap." - GLENDA SIMMONS
"Spoons, with the spoons in the other room, which makes it like a bunch
of drunk people tackling each other and sex usually follows." - SUZANNE
ROSE
"It's one I like to play alone. It's called 'How Much Can I Drink
Before I Start
Crying and Call My Ex-Girlfriend?'" - ROB WAGNER
"Asshole" - Tons o' ya.
By far, the most popular answer was "Chandeliers".
6. What's your favorite drink?
"Mimosas. It's a darn good drink at all times of the day: first thing
in the morning, or after a day of drinking when you can't think of
drinking yet ANOTHER beer, or....nevermind." - AIMEE SANGSTER
"Bourbon and bourbon on the rocks." - CHRIS BLILEY (God bless you, sir.)
(Actually, I think bourbon was the most popular.) Mmmmmm, bourbon.
7. Who would you most like to see suspended from the DQ?
"George Patch. It always makes me chuckle when George gets suspended.
Probably because he mopes around all day, saying how he doesn't care
that he can't play the quiz." - SHANE SLEIGHTER
Quite a few of you said "The QuizMaster". I am certainly not going to
suspend you for saying that. But you will be punished. Maybe not
today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon, and for the rest of your DQ life.
Who was our big winner? Well, far too many of you voted that no one be
suspended. Guess I gotta respect that. But, damn, I love suspending
people.
Hell, let's just suspend GEORGE PATCH. Shane, ya want to tell George
for me? Thanks, buddy.
8. Got a juicy secret about another contestant? Do share!
"My younger brother just came on board the quiz crew, he's a hollywood
bigshot working for the mouse in burbank. he had braces when we were
growing up which, of course, included the spanish inquisitor model
headgear to be worn in his sleep each night. he had these brown sheets
and pillow cases and because the headgear made him drool all night the
gastric acid or whatever in the spit ate away at the dye in the pillow
cases so they became these disgusting, blotchy petri dishes of filth
that our mom refused to replace because the same thing would happen with
new ones. oh, and he used to break-dance." - CHRISTIAN FRIESENBORG
"Let's just say this. 'Messy Pie Cakes.' You know who you are!" - JEFF
MARCIANO
"One of them has slept with at least four other contestants. I really
can't say who." - SARA BRADLEY
"SEAN KENNEALY's wife won't let him buy a boat." - BILL TYRRELL
"Jonathan Colan thinks the US government has established a global
satellite network in an attempt to see him naked." - PEG WARNER
"Scott Agee has a superfluous nipple." - MATT YOUNG
"Dave George tried to hook up with one of the actresses in the murder
mystery theme at the last office Christmas party." - MISSY BOWEN (Unlike
the rest of the folks here, I can address this libel straightaway: Yes,
she was diggin' the QuizMaster, and yes, I got her number, but by the
time the night was over I no longer had the ability to speak, and did
not attempt to close the deal.)
"James Maloney has dreams where midgets try to kill him." - ERIK
TUININGA
"Jamie maloney's favorite outfit is bobby socks with those wooden dutch
shoes, leather chaps, a g-string, pasties, a scarf, and one of those
leather caps with goggles that WWI aviators used to wear." - HARRIS KAY
"Chris Menard's nickname is 'Barnyard' Menard." - TRAVIS LEITH
"Well, this probably won't get printed, but Dave, you WERE standing
around for hours without any pants or underwear on this past Saturday at
the camping trip (contrary to what you may or may not remember). It
could have been the bottle of Bourbon you had tied to your inner tube
during our 4 hour trip down the river. Or maybe it was the cooler of
beer that was tied to you, too. Anyway, I've got pictures." - AIMEE
SANGSTER
(Let me just clear this up once and for all. I did not, repeat NOT,
have a cooler of beer tied to my inner tube.)
9. What's your favorite TV show?
There were tons and tons of one-vote shows like "TNT's Movies for Guys
Who Like Movies" - JOHN GREEN, and even "MTV's Lunch with Jesse" - ERIK
TUININGA (Who, by the way, will burn in mall hell for liking that
idiot.) (Granted, this is just my opinion, but it's right.)
Here are the most popular answers:
"The Nanny" - 8
"South Park" - 17
"News Radio" - 20
"X-Files" - 14
"Frasier" - 13
...and the big winner is: "The Simpsons" - 35
10. One character from a comic strip must be thrown into a volcano to
appease some random god. Which one gets your vote?
(I know I missed a few. Forgive me.)
Charlie Brown - 4
Mark Trail - 2
Nancy - 14
Garfield - 3
Cathy - 13
Beetle Bailey - 3
Prince Valiant - 2
Snuffy Smith - 1
Zippy - 10
Doonesberry - 1
Ratbert - 1
Sally Worth - 1
And with 22 votes, the winner is...
Billy from Family Circus!!! BUUUUURN BILLAYYYYYY!
The Washington Post conducted a similar survey recently. (Although I'm
sure ours was more scientific.) Here are some excerpts from the
article:
"For Better or For Worse was far and away the top comic among the 55
strips and panels that appear in The Washington Post."
"Washington Post comics fans don't share the rest of the country's love
for perhaps the world's most famous feline. Garfield, which finished
first in a recent national comics survey, ranked 19th in our poll."
"Young or old, just about everyone voted to pull the plug on Rugrats."
"Zippy the Pinhead, which The Post dropped briefly in 1996 but restored
after a strong appeal by loyal fans, gathered the second highest number
of 'Lose It' votes."
Have a nice weekend!
Dave