The Daily Answers 12/24/97 - 07/29/98 Subject: The Daily Answers 12/24/97 Date: Sun, 28 Dec 1997 15:53:27 -0500 The Daily Answers 12/24/97 by Dave George ******THE CHRISTMAS EDITION******** I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and Hannukah, and you're now ready to get that Kwanzaa party started. God, I love Kwanzaa. Some people feel like Kwanzaa has lost some of it's magic now that they're grown up, but not me. I'm still just as big a nut about Kwanzaa as I was when I was a kid. Our big Christmas Edition winner is a Jersey boy who really made good, Mr. JP XENAKIS!!!!! JP wins my favorite Holiday CD, "Kwanzaa With The Oak Ridge Boys"!!! 1. What is the smallest country in the world? A lot of you said "Luxembourg", but it's actually Rhode Island. I also accepted "Vatican City". OK, it's really just Vatican City, not Rhode Island at all. But Rhode Island *is* really small, and I was born there, so that should count for something. 2. What's the name of the town where the Grinch stole Christmas? Whoville. As a lot of you know, Dr. Seuss got the inspiration for "Whoville" from the College of William & Mary, right here in Virginia. Cool! 3. What's the largest land carnivore on Earth? The Polar Bear. (Or, as the Eskimos call it, "AAAAAHHHHH!!!") 4. Name the movie: "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!" National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. 5. What Christmas character was created in 1939 for a Montgomery Ward promotion? Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. Not, as Koren Goutos answered, "Jack in the Box". 6. What's the weather like today at the North Pole? It was 15 degrees and sleeting. 7. Name the movie: "I never liked a girl well enough to give her 12 sharp knives." Scrooged 8. Who sang the following: "I approached him very slowly with my heart full of fear Looked at his dog-oh my God!-a ill reindeer!" Koren Goutos wins our call-back award with: "Danny Kaye" The correct answer is "Run DMC". 9. What Christmas song was written in Austria when a church's organ broke, thus requiring a song that could be played on the guitar? "Silent Night" 10. What religious leader's name can be rearranged to spell "O, hi Jean. I plop up."? Pope John Paul II. And I would just like to add here, if God is reading this, that my brothers and I are VERY sorry for the HYSTERICAL, but quite inappropriate commentary we had going during the Pope's televised midnight mass Christmas eve. We didn't mean nothin' by it. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 12/29/97 Date: Tue, 30 Dec 1997 09:33:52 -0500 The Daily Answers 12/29/97 by Dave George Today's Big Winner is Mr. JEFF MARCIANO!!!!!!! Jeff, a graduate of Syracuse University and co-captain of the Orangemen's 1989 NCAA championship team, currently spends his days as VP of the Falmouth Institute right here in Virginia. Jeff scored a blistering 10 out of 10 on today's quiz! Jeff wins a case of Grandma's Chocolate Chip Cookies!!!!! WAY TO GO, JEFF!! 1. What's the term given to cowboy movies made in Italy? Kate Kirkpatrick was so close with "Rigatoni Westerns", cuz the correct answer is "Spaghetti Westerns". 2. In the course of It's a Wonderful Life, what two names does George's town have? Jeff Marshall, "Chevy Chase, MD" is not right. JP Xenakis, yesterday's winner, said "Mogadishu", which as everyone knows, is the name of the town from "The Andy Griffith Show". But so close, JP. The correct answer is "Bedford Falls" and "Pottersville". 3. What name is given to the standard letter arrangement on a computer or typewriter keyboard? QWERTY 4. Name three spin-offs that "Happy Days" produced. Laverne & Shirley Mork & Mindy and Joanie Love Chachi 5. What's the name of the woman with the highest recorded IQ, and what earth-shattering use has she put it to? "Sally Struthers, who is teaching both gun *and* VCR repair. Awfully inpressive." - JP Xenakis "Debbi Dare, Porn" - Trip Morano "Marilyn Chambers, Porn" - Shane Sleighter "Aunt Jemima, Pancake Syrup" - Chris De Santis And from Scott Day, who saw the world as a Marine: "Ngun Qwon Kwoc -- she picks up stacks of quarters with a delicate part of her anatomy." The correct answer is, "Marilyn Vos Savant, who answers assorted brainteasers (often incorrectly*) in Parade magazine. *Not that I could prove it, but there are some popular internet sites where smart people bash her answers. 6. Who's the hunkiest Baldwin? Steve Boswell said "Alec", and I know he's gonna get mad at me when I disagree, cuz we ALWAYS get into this argument when we hang out. But see, I think it's Stephen. (Sometimes I call him "Stevo"-sometimes just "Steve".) Stephen Baldwin is the quintessential Baldwin. He's definitely cuter than Billy and Daniel, and has a much broader dramatic range than Alec. Shane Sleighter also went with Alec, because, as he puts it, "his thighs are sublime". Now, I don't know what that means, but frankly I'm skeeved that you said it. I mean, Shane, I was only kidding above, you kinda sounded like you meant it. Eew. 7. Name the movie: "He jeopardizes my ability to effectively govern this student body." "He makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed." Ferris Bueller's Day Off 8. The followers of what religion worship Vishnu? Hinduism 9. In Pretty Woman, what kind of car was Richard Gere driving when he picked up Julia Roberts? Lotus Espirit 10. What product is "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"? Karl Rothman scored big with his answer of "Ellen DeGeneres". The correct answer is "Secret Antiperspirant". And that brings us to the end of yet another Daily Quiz. As we all get ready for our big New Year's celebrations, please try to remember this little rhyme my mother always told us kids: "Beer before liquor - Mmmmmmm, delicious!" Nice going, once again, to Mr. Jeff Marciano!!!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 12/30/97 Date: Wed, 31 Dec 1997 10:34:19 -0500 The Daily Answers 12/30/97 by Dave George Today's Big Winner is Ms. LAURA COLOMBELL!!! Laura, one of the DQ's resident attorneys, always hands in high scores, but today she really shone. Fine scores were also turned in by: JONATHAN KAPLAN ELISSA JACKSON and MELISSA SINUNU But Laura is our winner, so she will receive a VHS copy of "Cops: Too Hot for TV!" Way to go, Laura! 1. I'm thinking of an opera by Verdi. Which is it? "Bye Bye Verdi" - GEORGE PATCH No, but that's very clever, George. All you crossworders and 10,000 Maniacs fans out there knew I was thinking of "Aida". 2. Which of the Pythons recorded a BBC special where he chronicled his attempt to travel around the world in 80 days? You lost 2 points for saying "Monty". (A lot of you said this, so don't feel bad.) The correct answer is "Michael Palin". 3. If you're Hannibal Lecter, what sort of wine would you have with someone's liver? John Hering was right on when he said that it had to be a chianti, but not just any chianti. It had to be a nice chianti. 4. What do the Tibetans call the Abominable Snowman? "Yentl" - SHANE SLEIGHTER "Frosty" - SANDI ROTHMAN It's actually "Yeti". 5. Where is the Hope Diamond? Reading is a fine pursuit, but I firmly believe that it's the heavy TV viewers who make life worth living. Witness ELISSA JACKSON and her answer: "Cameron Frye's butt." This is a brilliant reference to Ferris Bueller's Day Off, where Ferris says that if you stuck a lump a coal up Cameron's ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond. The correct answer here is the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History. Bonus points go to KATE KIRKPATRICK for adding that it's specifically located in the Harry Winston Gallery of Gems. I don't know if that's true or not, but Kate hasn't lied to us yet. 6. What was the name of the Jefferson's maid? Florence (or "Flo", as we affectionately called her.) 7. Who provided the voice of Darth Vader? James Earl Jones 8. What city is also called "Beantown"? Boston 9. Name the movie: "Nobody had a coat?" "You said you didn't want a coat." "Why would I not want a coat?" "You said you didn't want a coat." "I was being ironic." "Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was getting tired of being stared at." Roxanne 10. Which Spice Girl announced that she's getting married? Posh Spice Okey-dokey. Nice job, folks. If you see Laura out tonight, give her a big high-five on her win. Maybe she'll let you watch her new video. There are topless women (and men) on it. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 13/31/97 Date: Wed, 07 Jan 1998 07:57:49 -0500 The Daily Answers 12/31/97 by Dave George Yup, we're back. I received so many threats/pleas that I had to bring the DQ back early. Damn you all. Our last quiz was the big ******STAR WARS EDITION****** And we had a tie!!!! Our Big Winners are PATRICK GEORGE and ELISSA JACKSON!!!!! These two kids appear to know more about Star Wars than healthy adults should. They each win a shiny new bike. This was definitely a difficult quiz to grade. There are some serious Star Wars dorks-er-FANS out there. Add to that the fact that I am *not* very knowledgeable about the movie (I had friends) and you can see why it was difficult to grade this. For example, some of you said that the name of the card game Han had played with Lando to win the MF was "Sabaac". You could have said "Bumpernuddel" and I wouldn't have known the difference. In any event, I feel we must toss props to these other fine contestants who also scored frighteningly high: JAMES FLINT KATE KIRKPATRICK MIKE WAITE MICHAEL ROLFES ELI KAILE and JIM GILKESON Before we go on with the rest of the answers we have a very special new contestant to introduce. Mr. JULIAN BROWN!!! Julian is one cool dude, and I think you all are going to like him very much. Julian is a 1984 graduate of Robinson Secondary School (the finest secondary school in the world) and a UVA alumnus. He currently spends his days racing his thoroughbreds at Laurel Racetrack, and taking his friends out to dinner when they win. (The horse, not the friends.) How cool is that? "Pretty cool" is the answer. Welcome aboard, Julian! 1. What planet was Luke from? Tatooine, which, according to Elissa has "two suns and a cantina, where Greedo eats it." 2. Where did Lando Calrissian live? Cloud City. A couple of you pointed out that it's located in the Bespin System. 3. What was Han Solo frozen in? Carbonite 4. How did Luke come into possession of the Millenium Falcon? OK, OK, I screwed up here. Most of you just assumed I meant Han Solo and said that he won it from Lando in a card game. Bumpernuddel, as I recall. 5. What planet does Darth Vader blow up with the Death Star? Oy, such sticklers for details you people are. Apparently it was Grand Moff Tarkin, not Darth Vader, who did the blowin' up. And he blew up Alderaan. 6. What game do Chewbacca and R2-D2 play? I accepted anything close to "chess" here. But I demand to know how PAT GEORGE knew that it was called "Dejarik". Of course, he may have made it up, in which case he gets bonus points for duping the Quizmaster. (This applies to any and all questions, by the way. If you BS an answer and I buy it, let me know and you'll get special recognition.) (Why couldn't school have been like this?) 7. Who sang "How 'bout that crazy Star Wars bar? Did it scare you... like it scared me?" There was one guy who said this: "You have to be kidding me with this question. It has nothing to do with star wars homie!" But I 86'd him, cuz he's a loser. JIM GILKESON (Hey, Jim, I want my Pamela and Tommy Lee tape back!) said: "Bill Murray, doing his wonderful lounge act with Merv and the Magictones." Rock on, Jim. 8. Who was the only person Darth Vader had to answer to? Again, you people know WAY more about Star Wars than me. SHANE SLEIGHTER: "The Emperor (whose name, by the way, is Palpatine) He also answered to Peter Cushings character in the original Star Wars, however, I can't remember his name." Oh yeah, when he said "Vader, release him!" cuz Darth Vader was choking that guy in the meeting room for eating the last doughnut with sprinkles. Something like that. (And a quick check of the IMDB shows that Peter Cushings played Grand Moff Tarkin.) (By the way, my mom used to make us drink Palpatine at breakfast. Yuck!) 9. What was the name of the creatures who sold R2-D2 and C3PO to Luke and his Uncle? Jawas. Yeah, I know, too easy. 10. Who captured Han Solo for Jabba the Hutt? Good Answer: "Bobba Fett" Great Answer: "That f*cker Boba Fett (although he *was* the COOLEST Star Wars figure--I didn't really like him as a character. I mean, he sells out my hero Han AND his untimely demise in Jedi is just pathetic--total comedy of errors! You'd think the dude could control his own jet pack! I mean, really!)" - ELISSA JACKSON 11. What animal did Han Solo cut open and stuff Luke into? Tauntaun 12. What did director George Lucas forbid Princess Leia from wearing? A bra. I saw an interview with Carrie Fisher a couple weeks ago and she gave that little (big?) bit of info. 13. Which of the following actors was originally cast as Han Solo? a. George Peppard b. Burt Reynolds c. Robert Redford d. Clint Eastwood According to the Internet Movie Database (a very reliable source) Burt Reynolds was originally cast as Han Solo, but dropped out. JOHN HERING wisely deduced the correct answer here. Rock on, John. 14. Which of the following actors was originally cast as Princess Leia? a. Sally Field b. Jane Fonda c. Sissy Spacek d. Linda Evans The IMDB says that Sissy Spacek was the original Leia while Carrie Fisher was originally doing the movie Carrie. But when she refused to do the nude scenes in Carrie, she and Sissy Spacek swapped roles. 15. Ben Kenobi saved Luke from getting clobbered by what creatures on his home planet? Sandpeople (A.K.A. "Tusken Raiders", according to most of you.) Big Bonus Question: How fast did Han Solo claim the Millenium Falcon was? There were a couple correct answers here: "It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs!" (Bonus points to JAMES FLINT for including the entire conversation between Han and Obi Wan.) "She'll do .5 beyond the speed of light--Han made some alterations himself."- KOREN GOUTOS Alrighty, I hope you all are nice and rested for 1998's first DQ today. We here at DQ Headquarters are working feverishly to devise a method of expanding the Quiz without losing that "smalltown feel". Our goal for '98 is 5,000 subscribers. So quit forwarding these to your friends and have them join up officially. And no, I haven't forgotten that COREY MCINTYRE replied to the entire group. He will be punished, rest assured. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 1/7/98 Date: Thu, 08 Jan 1998 10:21:37 -0500 The Daily Answers 1/7/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winner is TRIP MORANO!!!! Way to go, Trip! Trip wins an extra large bag of DC Crack from TCBC (The Country's Best Crack). Here are the answers: 1. What do Sonny Bono and a Christmas tree have in common? The joke that was emailed to me, like, THREE hours after he died was "Both get taken down 4 days after New Year's." But some of your own answers were very clever: "They both got lit during the holidays." - LEETO TLOU "It would be fun to find Cher naked under either one." - JIM GILKESON "Both dead with broken limbs." - JOHN BRENCE 2. Who commanded the Afrika Korps? Erwin Rommel (A.K.A. "The Desert Fox") (Forced to commit suicide for being in on the plot to kill Hitler.) (Adolf Hitler, not Ricky Hitler.) 3. What group recorded "A Sort of Homecoming"? U2 4. What does the "Ma" in "Ma Bell" stand for? "Massive Ass" - ELISSA JACKSON Massachusetts is also correct. 5. What was the name of the long line of fortifications France built to protect it from Germany? The Maginot Line If you said "The Berlin Wall" (and you know who you are) you lost all of your points and half of whatever points you may score on today's quiz. 6. What's Mr. Rogers' first name? "Cosmo" - SEAN BOYLE Actually, it's Fred. 7. What's the last dish you'd want to order in a restaurant in China right now? "Hunan Chicken" - SALLY STENGEL "General Tsou's Chicken" - KATE KIRKPATRICK "Poultry a la Flu" - TRIP MORANO "Grits" - STEVE BOSWELL "Chicken Chao Mein" - LEETO TLOU "Dog soufflé and candied second children" - JAMES FLINT "Kung Pao Chicken Flu" - DAN RIPPEL 8. How did Christa McAuliffe die? She blowed up. Challenger and whatnot. Many of you pointed out that she may have actually lived through the explosion and died on impact with the water. That's cool, too. 9. Name the movie: "What the hell is this?" "It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes." The Godfather 10. From what musical are these lyrics from? Ordinarily I would suspend SCOTT DAY for pointing out the poor grammar of the above sentence, but he's so right that I gotta just suck it up on this one. "She stood by me, she got a cramp - he went by me, got my suit damp." The musical was "Grease". TRACY GOEBEL claims I've got the words wrong. She says it's really "She ran by me, she got a cramp - he swam by me, got my suit damp." Perhaps, but we agree on the "suit damp" part of it, and that's what's funny. I mean, is that SUPPOSED to sound so sexual? Of course, it's a pretty dirty little musical, anyway. But hey, that's just how our parents were back then. Congratulations again to TRIP MORANO! Stay tuned for today's DQ, where our CGC will be Mr. BOB LEVEY!!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/08/98 Date: Fri, 09 Jan 1998 07:33:22 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/08/98 by Dave George We have a tie today!!! Our Big Winners are STEVE STEWART and LAURA COLOMBELL!! This is Steve's first Big Win, so if you see him in the halls today, give him a big DQ high-five. Ms. Colombell is no stranger to the Winner's Circle. Steve wins a delicious (if unfortunately named) Cheese Nut Log!!!! Laura wins a CD single of this GREAT new song called "Tubthumping" by a band named Chumbawumba! I just heard it this weekend, so some of you may not have, yet. But check it out! Way to go, Steve and Laura! 1. The sympathetic nervous system and what other system make up the autonomic nervous system? Parasympathetic nervous system. 2. "The Tao of Jeet Kun Do" was written by what former Cha-Cha champion of Hong Kong? "Hu Flung Dung" - STEVE BOSWELL "Jimmy Durante" - JOHN HERING (John, I get it, if no one else does.) "Hi Dun'Tno" - SHANE SLEIGHTER It was Bruce Lee. 3. Fully charged, about how long is the range of General Motors new electric car, the EV1? About 70 miles, but do some speedin' or go up some hills and it goes way, way down. 4. Mrs. Tayback called him Vick, but what did Vera call him? Mel, as in "Mel Sharples of Mel's Diner." 5. Name the movie: "Then I will live in Montana. And marry a round American woman, and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pick-up truck, or umm... possibly even... a recreational vehicle, and drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?" The Hunt for Red October, which I didn't even know was going to be on last night. I watched a little of it, but had to leave to go lose a soccer game. 6. What mountain did Sonny Bono die on? Heavenly 7. Nell Carter, star of TV's hit "Gimme A Break", is currently starring as Miss Hannigan in what musical? "A Street Car Named Nell" - STEVE BOSWELL Actually, it's "Annie". 8. What car part keeps your battery charged? Alternator or Generator. 9. What disease is caused by a Vitamin C deficiency? A lot of you said rickets, but that's caused by a Vitamin D deficiency. Brian Dunbar said "Xerophthalmia". But as everyone knows, that's caused by a Vitamin A deficiency. Yes, I looked it up. The correct answer is "Scurvy". 10. Who said, "I have not yet begun to fight!"? John Paul Jones Some of you said that this was a repeat question from a previous quiz. Then got it wrong. Kindly have a coworker kick you right square in the ass, will ya? Thanks. Congratulations again to Laura and Steve!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/09/98 Date: Mon, 12 Jan 1998 09:34:00 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/09/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winner is Ms. SALLY STENGEL!! Sally wins a Daisy Redrider pellet gun. Way to go, Sally!! 1. In Schoolhouse Rock's "No More Kings", what do the colonists throw clear across the Atlantic, landing on King George's head? They threw a bucket of tea from Boston Harbor. Next to "I'm just a Bill" this is probably the best Schoolhouse Rock, in my humble opinion. "That's called taxation without representation and that's not fair. But when the colonies complained, the King said 'I don't care.'" 2. Name the movie: "I'm just a little anxious to get up there and whoop ET's ass, that's all." Independence Day 3. What was Mahatma Ghandi's occupation before he got all uppity? Lawyer 4. How does Brad lose his job at All-American Burger? "Brad, did you threaten this customer or use profanity in any way?" "Well, yeah b-" "You're fired." A couple of you didn't know that this was from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Shame on you. Brad worked at All-American Burger (an actual chain out west). He was covering the counter for Arnold, who had to go to the bathroom. An irate customer wanted his money back because "This is *not* the best breakfast I ever ate." Brad couldn't find the form, the guy was getting more impatient and abusive, and Brad said "Mister, if you don't shut up I'm going to kick 100% of your ass!" 5. Which of the Wright brothers flew first? Wilbur tried first, but the plane stalled on takeoff. They then flipped a coin (a Susan B. Anthony, I believe) to see who got to try next. Orville won, and the plane (the U.S.S. Kitty Hawk) finally flew over the hills of St. Louis. Thus began "The Age of Enlightenment." 6. Kindly name the Pep Boys. Which is your favorite? Manny, Moe, and Jack. Manny, by far, is your favorite. And for once, I agree. Manny was the only one with any integrity. 7. Name the movie: "Well, I hate to bring it up, because I know you have enough pressure on you already. BUT, we agreed to get married as soon as you won your first case. Meanwhile, ten years later, my niece, the daughter of my sister, is getting married! My biological clock is tickin' like this, and with the way this case is goin', I ain't never gettin' married!" My Cousin Vinny 8. Who shot JR? Kristin Shepard, played by Mary Crosby, daughter of Bing Crosby. And Bing, as you all surely know, is dead. Just like Mary's career. Coincidence? Oh, I don't think so. 9. In Risky Business, what college does Joel aspire to attend? Princeton 10. The anti-technology Unabomber picked a very low tech way to try to kill himself (Fruit of the Noose), what would have been an even less dignified way to go? As I'm in a bit of a hurry this morning, I'll just share with you the most popular answer: "By trying to suffocate himself by self-gagging of stuffing his underwear into his mouth" - Elissa Jackson "taking the aforementioned underwear and stuffing it down his throat till he suffocated." - Sara Bradley "Suffocation by his Fruit of the Loom!" - Sally Stengel Subject: The Daily Answers 01/12/98 Date: Tue, 13 Jan 1998 10:07:42 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/13/98 by Dave George Wow! A four-way tie!! SCOTT BAGER BIRGITT TANGERMANN MIKE WAITE and MATT YOUNG Are our Big Winners!!!! They each win a week's supply of Rice-A-Roni "The San Francisco Treat"!!! Mmmmm Rice-A-Roni! ********************************** IMPORTANT NOTE: I'll be in a class for the rest of the week so the quiz will be sleeping until next Monday. Sorry! ********************************** 1. How does Canada (A.K.A. "The 51st State") compare in size to the United States? Much larger, much smaller, slightly larger, or slighly smaller? According the CIA's World Factbook, Canada is slightly larger. 2. What is the summertime equivalent of winter's wind chill temperature? Bill Laughlin said "102". That's a really good answer, Bill. Cuz the correct answer is "103". (Also accepted "Humiture" and "Heat Index") 3. What's the capital of Indonesia? Jakarta. A lot of you said "Kuala Lumpur". That would be Malaysia. But both countries end in that "szha" sound, so I can see the confusion. 4. What sport does Louden Swain excel at? Doh! You had to know that Louden was the hero in the movie Vision Quest, where he was the 185-pound high school wrestler trying to get down two weight classes so that he could wrestle Shute (and so that he can fit into that dress for his sister's wedding.) Ya know, I wrestled in high school. Probably a story for another time, though. 5. What singer is married to Paul Simon? Edie Brickell 6. What is the German equivalent of the penny? Pfennig 7. What was the name of the "Family Feud" host who hung himself? Ray Combs 8. Name the movie: "How about Global Thermonuclear War?" "Wouldn't you prefer a good game of chess?" WarGames 9. What band was Freddy Mercury the singer for? Queen 10. Who said, "Ninety percent of baseball is half mental."? Yogi Berra See you Monday! Subject: The Daily Answers 01/19/98 Date: Tue, 20 Jan 1998 09:22:39 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/19/98 by Dave George STEPHAN DIAMOND is our Big Winner!!!!! Stephan is a welder from Takoma Park who says he enjoys bowling and watching church on TV. Stephan wins a case of Vienna Sausages!!!! Way to go, dude. 1. Who wrote "The Autobiography of Malcom X"? OK, so I misspelled "Malcolm", big whoop. I got his last name right, didn't I? Alex Haley actually wrote the book. Brother Malcolm "told" it to him. 2. Elisha Otis invented a brake that led to the invention of what modern necessity? The elevator. 3. In 1945, a B29 bomber crashed into what building? A couple people (John Hering and Matt Young) pointed out that it was not a B-29, but a B-25 that crashed into the Empire State Building. Sorry for the error there. But it's still pretty funny that a plane ran into the building, isn't it? 4. What does the "I" refer to in football's "I Formation"? Most of you guys knew it's the way the Quarterback lines up behind the Fullback and the Fullback behind the Halfback. Of course, this is just in the showers. In the actual game, it goes Quarterback-Halfback-Fullback. JP Xenakis said that the "I" formation refers to "the selfish attitude of the quarterback." This is also an acceptable answer. 5. Who has won the Tour De France more times than anyone? Jeez, I always thought it was Greg Lamond. But you web-cheaters told me it was these other 4 guys who have each won it, like, five times or something. Who cares? You get no points for web research. Ya little punk-ass bitches. (Sorry about the "punk-ass bitches" thing, I had one of those commutes this morning.) 6. Who is the Kwik-E-Mart's Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon better known as? Apu. Pet peeves: Expiration dates, five-finger discounts. Turn-ons: Women who smell like curry; the luxuriant, silky feel of pure polyester. 7. What was the name of Bo and Luke Duke's car? The General Lee 8. Who was Reagan's running mate in 1980? Egads, a couple of you got this wrong. Restore my faith in our public school system and tell me you were only kidding. Please. The answer was "Casper Weinberger". 9. What was the name of the mad monk in Czar Nicholas II's court? Rasputin 10. Name the movie: "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Why, if I had a nickel for each person who answered "Trading Places"... Louie, (actually Louis Winthorpe) was, indeed, a character in Trading Places (played by Dan Aykroyd) but I don't think anyone said this line. The movie I was going for was Casablanca. Well, anyway, welcome back from your break if you were lucky enough to get yesterday off. And congrats again to STEPHAN DIAMOND! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/20/98 Date: Wed, 21 Jan 1998 09:28:18 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/20/98 by Dave George JOHN HERING is our Big Winner!!!!! John's a real fart smeller--I mean, smart feller! How smart is John? Well, let's just say that he beat me by 20 points on the ol' SAT's. Damn, that's smart! Let's see...what else can I say about John? Oh, he has two beagles that will eat anything. One time John pulled three feet of Saran Wrap out of his dog's butt. How 'bout that? For today's win, John will receive a case of Jimmy Dean sausage! Mmmmm...Jimmy Dean. By the way, I forgot to mention this in yesterday's answers, but I was only kidding about Casper Weinberger being Reagan's running mate. It was Bush, of course. Casper is his little brother. 1. The Afghan freedom fighters who kicked the Soviet Union out of their country were better know by what name? They were called the Mujahadeen or Mujahadin. (Kind of a Khadaffi/Qaddafi thing.) Not too many got this one, so if you did you are hereby authorized to slap the person to your immediate right on the back of the head. Just tell them I said it was OK. Here are some other answers: "The Moors" - STEVE STEGER "Wolverines!" - JAMES FLINT and JP XENAKIS (Great answer!) "The Bay City Rollers" - TRIP KIRKPATRICK "Sam and Pete" - CHRIS MENARD "the Flying Mariachi Brothers" - ELISSA JACKSON "MooHa!YaDoIn" - GEORGE PATCH "Rambo and Colonel Trautman" - JASON PODGORSKI 2. Use the word "myriad" in a sentence. Ever since I saw the movie Heathers, I thought that "myriad" could only be used an adjective (as in "The myriad problems arose due to his fetid breath.") But I looked it up and apparently you can also use it as a noun ("She had a myriad of emotional issues.") I still think it sounds better as an adjective, but who the hell am I? Did anyone get it wrong? A couple people. But none quite as wrong as SHARON PRESLEY, who said, "Look, a myriad!" 3. Name the movie: "The is a .44 magnum automag. It has a 300 grain cartridge, and if properly used it can remove the fingerprints." Sudden Impact, starring Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry Callahan. 4. What does "Mitsubishi" mean in Japanese? CHRIS DESANTIS said "How are you, Mr. Roboto?" Chris is an odd sort. My brother, PAT GEORGE, said that it means "Me so tiny!" That almost sounds right, Pat. Others: "Mad Cow" - LAURA COLOMBELL "Hitachi" - ROB BUCKANAVAGE "Dodge" - GEORGE PATCH "Bite the wax tadpole. no -- that's Chinese for Coke. sorry." - LESLIE MARIA "Achtung Baby" - KATE KIRKPATRICK "Me so hoeny" - ELISSA JACKSON "Me eat sushi" - DAVE HAGLER (Oh yeah, Dave Hagler's got a kickin' little beach house goin' at Dewey this summer and has a few more open slots. If yer interested, email him at dhagler@perspect.com. He's a very nice guy, and I understand Dewey Beach is a nice place to go and get laid, so...) Anyway, back to Mitsubishi. The only people who knew the right answer (it means "Three Diamonds") was JOHN DAVID, DAN RIPPEL and MATT YOUNG. 5. In what way does Casey Martin want the PGA to change its rules? Pretty much all of you knew that he wants to be allowed to ride in a golf cart, cuz he's got a bum leg. And for the record, there's never been an issue I've cared less about. Although, he does say that if he's forced to walk his leg will swell up huge, and that would be kind of funny to see. 6. Jerry Spring was once the mayor of what city? OK, OK, that was supposed to read "Springer", but most of you knew that. And most of you knew that he was the mayor of Cincinatti. 7. What do you get when you top sponge cake with ice cream and cover it with meringue, then place it in a hot oven to brown the meringue before the ice cream can melt? Baked Alaska 8. What boxer was known as the "Brockton Bomber"? Rocky Marciano 9. Clint Eastwood was once the mayor of what city? Carmel, CA 10. In the movie Say Anything, what does Lloyd Dobbler claim is the sport of the future? Kickboxing Bonus Question: (Toughie) In Say Anything, Ione Skye's character, Diane, gives the valedictory address at her high school graduation. She says that she's seen the future and her only advice to her classmates is what? She said "Go back." Man, like almost nobody got this one. JOHN HERING did, which just goes to show why he's our winner. ELISSA JACKSON came really close. So did ED ROSSI. But I believe Johhny was the only one to nail it. Rock on, John! Subject: The Daily Answers 01/21/98 Date: Thu, 22 Jan 1998 08:32:43 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/21/98 by Dave George MEREDITH LINBERGER is our Big Winner!!!!! Meredith, a JMU graduate, enjoys skiing and drinking rum out of the bottle. Meredith says she'd like to bring peace to Mid-west and that her favorite Hanson is Lou. Meredith wins the double CD set of recordings of women claiming to have had sex with Clinton. Rock on, Meredith! Before we begin, I gotta correct a glaring error from yesterday. Seems I forgot to include SHARON PRESLEY as one of the people who knew yesterday's killer Say Anything bonus question. Sorry Sharon! And what are we going to do about JP XENAKIS? I mean, he's a good guy and all. Never gets into barfights anymore. But the regulations regarding replying to the entire list are clear. I'm afraid that not only are we going to have to suspend JP from the Quiz for one day, but we are all going to talk about him while he's gone. Sorry JP! 1. Finish the lyrics to this TV theme song: "Baby you and me were never meant to be But maybe think of me once in a while _____________________________________" "I'm at WKRP in Cincinatti." Here are some oh-so-close answers: "and possibly I could log-slam you" - TRIP MORANO "The Facts of Life" - AIMEE HICKOX (Read the question, will ya Aim?) "Or otherwise I will have to break your leg." - JONATHAN HAGLER "Or I'll have to drive by and cap your sorry ass. La, la, la. La, la, la." - STEVE STEGER 2. Who was Miss Piggy hot for? Kermit. I don't think anyone missed this one. If you did, well, welcome to the United States. 3. In Point Break, how does Johnny Utah gain the sympathies of Tyler in order to get her to teach him how to surf? A couple of you said that he wiped out on his surfboard and almost drown. Oh, no, no, no. This certainly did not endear him to Tyler. In fact, after she dragged him to shore and was paddling back out to the lineup, he tried to tell her his name, and she said "Who cares?" So, no, it definitely wasn't that. What he did, and about a quarter of you got this, was retrieve her file from the police database and found out that her parents had been killed in a car accident. He then went to her place of business, a burger shack by the beach, and worked it into conversation that *his* parents had been killed in a car crash. Of course, he didn't do it nearly as smoothly as Jonathan Silverman did in Weekend at Bernies: "My parents were killed in a tragic train accident." "That's so weird. I always thought trains were so much safer than planes." "Well, actually, a plane landed on the train." "Oh, how awful for you." LAURA COLOMBELL lost all her points for dissing Dogstar. 4. Who was Nixon's first Vice President? Spiro Agnew 5. Name New York City's five boroughs. I've always believed that they were The Bronx, Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island. But one or two people said that S.I. is no longer a borough. I'm sticking with these five, though. (A borough, for those of you who asked, is just a political division, unless you're from one, and then it's, like, you're whole world.) Some of you included New Jersey as one of your boroughs. Had to give you credit for that, cuz really, what would Jersey be without New York, right? 6. What's the name of the honky-tonk (literally "redneck loser bar") that Bud and Sissy frequent in the movie Urban Cowboy? Gilley's (Extra points were awarded to all those contestants who used JP XENAKIS'S answer of "Dig My Spurs".) 7. What was Mr. Drummond's first name? Phillip (His middle name, which very few people know, is actually "Tina".) 8. Name a gang other than the Bloods and the Crips. LAURA COLOMBELL wins back her points for naming all the gangs from The Warriors, a great movie featuring Deborah Van Valkenburgh in her first role, right before doing "Too Close For Comfort" with Ted Knight and the flaming Jim J. Bullock. And rounding out this six degrees, Jim J. Bullock partied with yours truly at comedian Steve Moore's house last Christmas. (Sigh, mistletoe memories...) Anyway, Laura's gangs were: "the Turnbull ACs, the Baseball Furies, the Orphans, the Rogues, the Lizzies, the Riffs and . . . . . . .the Warriors" Other Gangs: "The Latin Kings" - ANGIE MARCIANO, JONATHAN HAGLER "Cool and the Gang" - PAULA LAUGHLIN, "F-Troop" - BIRGITT TANGERMANN "Hell's Angels" - MATT YOUNG "Our Gang" - DAN RIPPEL, JOHN HERING "The Jets" - ED ROSSI, MEREDITH LINBERGER "The Bloodhound Gang" - ELISSA JACKSON "The Van Burens" - JEFF MARSHALL "The Sugar Hill Gang" - JIM GILKESON, KATE KIRKPATRICK "Gang Green" - JON DAVID "Chivatos" - MARC ROWLEY (I've never heard of this gang, Marc, but maybe it's a Tech thing.) "The Little Rock Westies" - JEFF MARCIANO "The Law" - MATT GEORGE (Matt used to date a Crip, so he ought to know.) "Long Beach Crew" - MICHAEL HYLTON Oy, there's more, but I'm tired. 9. Name the movie: "Why, I'm a little black raincloud of course!" Winnie the Pooh 10. What band did Roger, Keith, Pete, and John comprise? A brilliant answer was turned in by STEVE STEGER. He said, "Who are Roger, Keith, Pete, and John?" The answer, of course, is "that's right." Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/22/98 Date: Fri, 23 Jan 1998 10:58:07 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/22/98 by Dave George JAMES FLINT and LAURA COLOMBELL are our Big Winners!! Now, just yesterday James was in danger of being suspended from the DQ for challenging my answer to the "WKRP in Cincinatti" theme song. While James *was* wrong, I also had part of the lyrics wrong. Where I said "...up and down those aisles" it was pointed out by a few people (MIKE HADLEY, MELISSA SINUNU and ELISSA JACKSON) that it's actually "...up and down the dial". Certainly makes more sense. Anyway, then James goes and turns in a stunning perfect quiz yesterday, so he's out of the dog house. Actually, I ran into James just last night at Gold's. (Thanks for getting those guys to leave me alone, by the way.) James wins eight bucks. Now Laura, on the other hand, never caused anyone any trouble at all, so she should win something even more special. Laura wins my old pair of Freezie Freakies, those great winter gloves that have images on them that appear when they get cold. A great 80's collectible. TRIP KIRKPATRICK came SOOOO close to a perfect score. MATT GEORGE also scored really well. Not as well as some, but if you knew the problems he's had developmentally, you'd understand why I single him out for praise. 1. What does LL Cool J stand for? Oh, I'm not asking what the man believes in idealogically, I want to know what those letters mean. "Ladies Love Cool James" Best wrong answer: "Livin' Large Cool Jesus" - SCOTT BAGER 2. And while we're on the subject, what brand hat does he wear? Kangol. A couple of you said that he now wears FuBu. I accepted both. And hey, speakin' of the guy, here's my kinda funny LL Cool J story. Me and a bunch of comics were hanging out at Jerry's deli in L.A. one night around 2 a.m. LL Cool J was sitting in a booth near the door. Another comic joined us late, and someone said "Hey, did you see LL when you came in?" The guy says, "Cool J?", and the first guys says "No, LL Bean, he's handing out sweaters." Oy, we had quite a yuk at that one. 3. Never one to delve into the oogy mess of politics, the DQ is nonetheless a huge fan of gossip. That said, what say we get up a Clinton Impeachment Pool? Kindly indicate the date you believe Clinton will either be impeached or will scoot town Nixon-style. A lot of you said he's going to finish out his term. Some of you gave a date well past the end of his term, making it kind of hard to impeach him then. A lot of you said it will happen sometime this summer. The smarter of my two retarded brothers (I have four, only two are retarded) Pat, said his date will be "Gillian Anderson since she looked so smashing at the Golden Globes." Only one of you got all preachy about the injustice of believing a "24 year-old who went to Beverly Hills High" (as if that somehow makes her less credible). Hey, the guy porked her, no doubt about it. Frankly, I have no strong opinions one way or the other about Clinton, but I do so love a scandal. I shall keep your answers on file, and should he actually go bye-bye we'll announce the winner. 4. Name the movie: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning! It's that smell--that gasoline smell! Smells like...victory." Apocalypse Now. Worst Spelling of a Right Answer: "Apocypalypse Now" - ANONYMOUS 5. Who gave the famous "Malaise Speech"? "the king of Malasia" - HEATHER BRAUN "Mr. Blanton" - SEAN BOYLE (This is only funny if you went to Robinson.) "Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman" - JOEY RUSSO (Joey, is of course confusing the famous "May-o-naise Speech".) Tons of you said something like "The President of France". I don't know why. It was actually Jimmy Carter. 6. What product tempts your tummy with the taste of nuts and honey? Hey, we may not remember our history, but not a damn one of ya didn't know that this was "Honey Nut Cheerios"! God bless America. 7. What's Dagwood's last name? Bumstead ELISSA JACKSON said "Potter". Was that Mr. Potter's first name in It's a Wonderful Life? If so, give yourself an extra point, Elissa. 8. Who did Ayatollah Khomeini overthrow? The Shah of Iran. A few of you had funny baseball answers. 9. What do the tail letters on the airplane on the cover of the Beastie Boys "License to Ill" spell when held up to a mirror? Eat Me 10. In honor of JAMES FLINT, who was WKRP's news guy? (Extra credit if you can remember what he dropped out of a helicopter as a promotional stunt at a mall.) SHANE SLEIGHTER, as usual, remembers way more TV than me: "Les Nessman. And, in one of the funniest moments in the history of television, they dropped turkeys out of the helicoptor. I believe Les was actually on the ground covering it, Mr. Carlson and Herb Tarlick were actually in the helicoptor. I even remember some of the report: "Oh my God! People are running for cover, they're going into buildings and hiding under their cars! The turkeys are hitting the ground like feathered bags of wet cement!" Here are some other WKRP memories: "Les Nessman, five time winner of the Buckeye News Hawk Award" - MATT YOUNG "MORE NEWS, LES NESMAN" - KARL ROTHMAN "Les Nessman, who wore a band-aid on a different part of his body in every show." - SARA BRADLEY "LES NESSMAN-HE DROPPED TURKEYS--PROUD WINNER OF THE BUCKEYE NEWS AWARD FOR HIS PORK REPORTS" - KOREN GOUTOS "as God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - JAMES FLINT Bonus: (Toughie) Ione Skye, star of such DQ favorites as Say Anything and Gas Food Lodging, received great exposure as the naked woman on the cover of what album? SCOTT BAGER actually brought this little bit of trivia to my attention. Ione is on the cover of the Red Hot Chili Pepper's album "Mother's Milk". I think only our Big Winners, LAURA and JAMES, and also TRIP KIRKPATRICK knew this one. Thanks to KARL ROTHMAN for pointing out that we can see Ione naked in the movie The Rachel Papers. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/23/98 Date: Mon, 26 Jan 1998 10:33:44 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/23/98 by Dave George Ooh, ROB BUCKANAVAGE should've been given his due for a perfect quiz last Thursday, but I missed it. Sorry, Rob! I am but one man. Granted, one man with a cute butt, but still just one man. The DQ will be sending Rob a complimentary copy of "Dorf on Acid". Today's Daily Answers will be slightly sparse in the comedy department. We had our Super Bowl party last night and I've still got the spins. I'm told it was a great party, and my half-time showing of the Pamela and Tommy Lee video was indeed an inspired bit of brilliance. Today's Big Winner is SHERRY HULSEBUS!!!!! Sherry's only been on the DQ for a week or so and she's already a winner! Wow! Sherry wins a case of Fudgesicles. Mmmmm...Fudgesicles 1. What's the name of that unfunny political satirist who plays the piano standing up? Mark Russell 2. Where did Charlie Brown get Snoopy? Daisy Hill Puppy Farm 3. What's the name of the guy the FBI accused of being the Olympic Park Bomber? Richard Jewell 4. Name the commercial: "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?" Calgon 5. What did the "NIMH" refer to in "The Secret of NIMH"? National Institutes of Mental Health 6. Finish this Bible verse: "Blessed are the _______ for they _____________." (Can be more than one word in each blank. Go nuts.) There were some funny answers here, but like I said earlier I am really hating life at the moment, so I'm not going to dig them up. 7. What did the "Five-0" refer to in "Hawaii Five-0"? Hawaii's the 50th state. 8. In Tootsie, in what restaurant does Michael Dorsey (dressed up as Dorothy Michaels) tell his agent that she's actually Michael? The Russian Tea Room 9. In what musical do they ask, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" The Sound of Music 10. What's it called when an object has absolutely zero electrical resistance? Superconductivity Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/26/98 Date: Tue, 27 Jan 1998 10:30:51 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/26/98 by Dave George BIRGITT TANGERMANN is our BIG WINNER!!!!!!! Birgitt wins a VHS copy of the hit movie Lambada, The Forbidden Dance. And while we here at DQ Headquarters don't have time to introduce every new contestant who joins us, we try to make exceptions for special people. Like retarded kids and girls who used to date SCOTT DAY. Sara Bradley is the latter, and she has a friend named JUMANA SHEBIB who joined the DQ last week, but I got really busy (Celebrity Week on "Wheel" and all) and forgot to give her a proper intro. Jumana, a Saudi citizen who grew up in Syria and the UAE and went to school in Greece, claims to be at a disadvantage here on the DQ since she knows very little of American culture. Hey, Jumana, you know where the TV is. Start watchin'. Also, I'm so pleased to announce that Ms. CHRISTINE CHALLAS successfully completed the rigorous DQ screening process and is today a full-fledged member of the DQ family. Christine is a lawyer in San Francisco who drives a Jeep Cherokee Laredo, has very straight teeth and thinks topless beach volleyball is a bad idea for two reasons. Welcome, ladies! 1. Who called New York "hymietown"? Jesse Jackson 2. Name the movie: "Are you my pal, Mr. scholarship winner?" "Yes sir, I'm your pal." "Good! Good! How 'bout a Fresca?" Caddyshack 3. In Siberia it gets so cold that a phenomenon occurs which the locals call "The breath of twinkling stars". What is that? (By the way, this is a question which John Hering insisted I use, so if you hate it, call John at his office @ 703-418-2800 ext. 329.) As Johnny tell us: "When you exhale your breath freezes into tiny ice balls which tinkle to the ground." Points to John for using the words "balls" and "tinkle" in the same sentence. A whole lot of you said "Aurora Borealis" or "Northern Lights". 4. What rocker killed his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen? A lot of you said "Kenny G". Actually, just one of you. But that's very close. The correct answer is "Sid Vicious". Ya know, I lived next door to a Chuck and Barbara Vicious for years and they were just about the nicest people you'd ever want to meet. So you just never know... 5. Laws passed in the late 1800's which legislated racial discrimination were known as what? Jim Crow Laws 6. What S.E. Hinton book featured Ponyboy, Dallas and Johnny? The Outsiders. You got extra points if you told me to "Stay gold". 7. What was the name of Nicole Brown Simpson's dog? Who said "Lucky"? Cuz that's a funny answer when you think about it. Damn, who was that? I gotta go look it up...SEAN BOYLE was the dude. Good answer, Sean. And I'm not just saying that because you're packin'. The correct answer is "Kato". 8. Where did the U.S. vaporize three islands with a huge H-bomb test in 1954? No, PAT GEORGE, it wasn't Hawaii. That wouldn't have been very nice. Rather, we got rid of a few pesky islands in the Marshall Islands chain, specifically, the Bikini Atoll. It's tragic and all that, true, but still...kinda funny. Can you imagine the guy motoring over to favorite fishing spot right...by...this..isla--hey, the hell? 9. What is the drug phencyclidine better known as? Ooh, so, so many phen-phen answers. No, this one here's PCP or "Angel Dust" or "Mmmmm, delicious." Remember that video we had to watch in Health class, "Angel Death"? "She FRIED HER BABY!!!!" 10. What building do the bad guys take over in Die Hard? Nakatomi Plaza or Nakatomi Building, anything with "Nakatomi" in it worked for me. Congratulations again to BIRGITT TANGERMANN!!!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/27/98 Date: Wed, 28 Jan 1998 09:34:09 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/27/98 by Dave George Man, SEAN BOYLE kicked this quiz right in the keister! His answers were so complete and well thought out that I can just picture him sitting down at his "study area" in his room, hunched over his desk, with his pencil gripped tightly and his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth a little while he went to work on his DQ. Sean is an FBI agent in Florida who says he enjoys running and going through each day knowing that he's carrying a gun. Sean wins a life-sized poster of Emmanuel Lewis, star of the hit TV comedy "Webster". 1. Name all the different types of Coke which have ever been sold. The Coca-Cola company actually makes 160 different beverages, but we're only looking for types of Coke. This doesn't narrow it down all that much, though. Coke New Coke Classic Coke Coke II (Just New Coke renamed) Caffeine Free Coke Diet Coke Caffeine Free Diet Coke Cherry Coke Diet Cherry Coke Coca Cola Light - I think MILLIE PERRINE was the only one to get this one. This was Diet Coke in Europe. I'm sure there are more. A couple people said "Clear Coke", which I don't remember, but I'll take your word for it. A lot of you said "Coke with cocaine". My tireless research on this subject reveals the following: "Since 1903, Coca-Cola has gone through great trouble to remove the cocaine from its coca leaves. The current "decocanization" of coca leaves cannot remove all cocaine. However, the amount of cocaine in Coca-cola is so incredibly minute that is cannot be easily measured, and for all practical purposes, modern Coca-Cola is cocaine-free." 2. What is the reciprocal of 10? "Did I ever tell you that I failed math 3 times at JMU? Is it .10?" - TRIP MORANO Hey, Trip, third time's a charm! Cuz that's right! It's OK, though, cuz I failed Econ two times before finally passing. And I failed a *really* easy probability class (forgot to attend the final.) And I failed a *WORD PERFECT* class. Word Perfect?? 3. What is a sperm whale's main source of food? Many people* think that sperm whales eat plankton, but verily I say unto you that they actually eat squid. Some of them eat up to a ton of squid each day.** *Like me, until so many people said "squid" that I had to look it up on the web. **Of course, these are the really fat whales which the other whales make fun of. Whales can be so cruel. 4. Who anchors the CBS evening news? Ya know, occassionaly I throw out a creampuff like this one to keep you guys from bitching that the DQ is too hard. Then some of you go and get THIS one wrong! What the hell are you doing at night, READING??? The answer's Dan Rather 5. What was the name of Fred Flintstone's alien friend? Here's the big eliminator. If you said "The Great Kazoo" you were wrong. His name was "The Great Gazoo" with a "G". 6. Finish this campaign slogan: "Tippecanoe..." "and you may piss off an Indian" - GEORGE PATCH "Eat my shoe" - ELISSA JACKSON "and they drown" - MICHAEL ROLFES "and tigger too" - STEPHEN STEWART It's really "and Tyler too." But I like those answers better. (And if you had an answer similar to one of those, forgive me, I *do* have a real job over here.) 7. In what movie does John Goodman play an oddball exterminator? Arachnaphobia Worst spelling of a correct answer: "Aracnifobia" - ANONYMOUS And yeah, smartasses, I watch TNT a lot. 8. What's the name of the huge current of warm water which runs up the eastern coast of the U.S.? The Gulf Stream JOHN BRENCE admitted that there's *always* a warm current around him when he swims, if ya catch his drift. 9. Who said "I'm so mean I make medicine sick?" "My doctor" - HEATHER BRAUN Muhammad Ali. Some of you knew that he had also said this before he changed his name. Ali's real name, of course, was "Linda Travinsky". 10. (Choose one) A. Who holds the single-season homerun record in the AL? Hell if I know. Don't really follow the sport. But so many of you said "Roger Maris" that that's got to be the answer. or B. Who did all the cooking for Robbie, Chip and Ernie? Ah, now TV I know. Uncle Charlie O'Casey, who wasn't *really* their uncle (and who wore an apron a lot) cooked for the Douglas family on "My Three Sons". JP XENAKIS earned large points for, "Is there a penalty for answering both when instructed to choose one? I don't want another suspension. I'm a little wary. My Uncle Charlie always said, "If you don't learn from your mistakes, then you're only robbing yourself. Now eat your fish and chips, you've earned them." Man could he cook." Congratulations once again to SEAN BOYLE! Stand proud, man! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/28/97 Date: Thu, 29 Jan 1998 08:29:00 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/28/98 by Dave George We have a TEN-way tie today!!!! When I call out your name please stand up. SARA BRADLEY CHRISTINE CHALLAS JENNIFER DISTEFANO JAMES FLINT KOREN GOUTOS HEIDI HERING TRIP KIRKPATRICK JOCELYN MACNEIL LIA PAPA and MATT YOUNG Each of these brilliant contestants win their choice of either a Dirt Devil(r) upright vacuum cleaner or a SIG-Sauer P226 9mm Luger ("Blossom" star Mayim Bialik says, "That's a damn nice gun.") Congratulations!!! And KAI WAKELING wins a special prize for being Jamaica's sole representative on the Daily Quiz. Kai wins a new bobsled. 1. What singer wants to be the girl with the most cake? Courtney Love CHRIS DE SANTIS lost ten bucks to me the other day betting that she played Nancy Spungen in Sid & Nancy. The hell was he thinking? (She *was* in the movie, but everyone knows that Chloe Webb from "China Beach" played Nancy.) I want my ten bucks, Chris. 2. Clowns: Fun or Scary? 38 of you said "Fun". 24 said "Scary". The correct answer is "Scary". Congrats to those 24 who got it right. 3. What disease is characterized by red blood cells misshapen into crescents? Sickle Cell Anemia 4. Put the following Soviet leaders in the correct order from earliest reign to latest: Brezhnev, Krushchev, Stalin, Lenin The correct order is: Lenin Stalin Krushchev Brezhnev (Remember in the 80's how as soon as they'd get a new leader he'd die? That was really funny. Man, they were like Spinal Tap drummers. But that was back when we hated them. Were that to happen now it would only be kinda funny.) 5. The very first photographs, produced on silver plates, were called what? One or two of you said "tintype", which is, I'm afraid, incorrect. Not that I'd ever *heard* of a tintype before today, but I looked it up on the web and found that it's another name for a "Ferrotype", which is not the same thing as the correct answer, "Daguerreotype". SCOTT DAY said, "I don't care if those things were printed on GOLD! No matter what kind of spin *you* want to put on it, that filth was called PORNOGRAPHY!" Scott is apparently unaware that there actually exist pictures of things other than naked women. (Not that you'd know this to visit his apartment.) KARL ROTHMAN had a kinda clever answer that gave me a moment's pause: "Nickels." You're suspended, Karl. Just kidding. 6. In what Disney movie will you find Cruella De Vil? 101 Dalmatians "Isn't it so cool that her last name is devil? Sometimes Disney rules." - ELISSA JACKSON (I'm an idiot. I never noticed that.) 7. Doric and Roman are types of what? I was looking for columns here. LIA PAPA, one of today's Big Winners kindly and politely pointed out that "doric refers to a specific column style, but roman refers to an entire architectural style, really, not a specific type of column." Rock on, Lia. 8. Jenny, I got your number. What's her number? 867-5309 If you got this wrong you can consider yourself a failure in 80's Trivia 101. 9. Who was always sweeping in front of his store on Sesame Street? Mr. Hooper "Hello Mr. Looper!" "Hoopah, Hoopah!!" 10. For what crime did they finally put Al Capone in prison? "Sleeping with a mob intern, and then lying about it." - RACHEL OLITSKY Tax evasion. Many of you pointed out that he died in prison of syphilis. Oddly enough, so did Mr. Hooper. All my love, Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/30/98 Date: Fri, 30 Jan 1998 09:26:39 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/29/98 by Dave George Ordinarily I don't like to declare ties, but for the past two days I've felt it necessary. Yesterday it was because so many people earned perfect scores that I knew I'd get tons of hate mail if I didn't give everyone credit. And today's was such a hard quiz that I felt these five ought to get credit for scoring really high. So kindly give these folks a hearty round of applause: CHRISTINE CHALLAS JASON PODGORSKI DAN RIPPEL BIRGITT TANGERMANN and DAN TUCKER This group of Big Winners shall receive CHRIS DESANTIS's faggy white Miata, which they can either use on a timeshare basis or sell, dividing the cash amongst themselves. It's entirely up to you, it's your car now. Way to go!! 1. A gargoyle isn't *really* a gargoyle unless it also serves as what? "An ashtray" - MARK MURRAY The correct answer is "A waterspout". ELI KAILEY added "Chimeres are the ones that aren't rain spouts." Aw hell no, Eli. Grotesques are gargoyles without the waterspout feature. Chimeres are robes. (I looked all this up.) But I'm glad this happened, because it brings up something I wanted to talk about. That is, giving extra information in your answers. You do this at your own risk. It can pay off huge, but if you're wrong you will suffer. Thus, Eli is suspended for one round. I don't do this because it's fun for me. I do this because it's REALLY fun for me. See ya, Eli! 2. What paradise did Coleridge write about in his poem "Kubla Khan"? Xanadu. TRIP KIRKPATRICK added "where Olivia Newton John and John Travolta skate around and around all day, listening to the peppy sounds of ELO." Doh! Another unsolicited wrong answer! It wasn't John Travolta, Trip, it was Michael Beck. The same Michael Beck who starred in The Warriors, which we visited last week in our salute to gangs. Don't worry, though, Trip, I'm not gonna suspend ya. (I'm not going to suspend Eli either, but don't tell her that. Let's let her sweat.) 3. What country got its start as a prison colony? Australia (or, as darn near half of you answered "Austrailia".) 4. On "The Simpsons", who is Radioactive Man's sidekick? Fallout Boy 5. Who is the supreme spiritual leader of Tibetans? The Dalai Lama. DAN RIPPEL said, "Dolly Llama (sister of cowboy boot maker Tony Llama)" 6. In what movie does Kevin Spacey play a tyrannical movie studio executive?(Big extra credit points if you can name the studio.) Swimming With Sharks. The studio he worked for was Keystone. (And this is one GREAT movie, in my opinion.) (Remember when that poor kid tries to get on the elevator with Spacey, and he gets screamed at "Hey, get outta here! Who do you work for?!!") 7. According to Milton's "Paradise Lost", what's the capital of Hell? Pandemonium A couple people answered "H", which is pretty funny. A couple of you answered with the address of your place of employment, but I won't single you out. Just in case. 8. Pat Buchanan was what president's speechwriter? Nixon 9. What philosopher proposed the idea of the "superman"? Nietzsche 10. Take a stab at the number of men who have lived to see their sons inaugurated President of the United States. Six. And no, I can't name them all. I just read it somewhere recently. I promise today's quiz will be a little easier. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 01/30/98 Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 10:32:59 -0500 The Daily Answers 01/30/98 by Dave George It's a five-way tie!!!! CHRISTINE CHALLAS LAURA COLOMBELL (Laura and Christine are battling it out for the coveted "Queen of the DQ" title.) CHRIS DE SANTIS CABE FRANKLIN and TOM O'REILLEY Are our Big Winners!!!!! Each of these fine contestants wins a carton of smokes. Way to go!!! 1. We call him Bigfoot, but the Indians call him what? Apparently there are multiple words for this fella. However, as has been the policy here at the DQ since its inception, in the event of multiple answers, the correct answer is the one which *I* was thinking of. It's not fair, I know, and I feel really bad about it. Anyway, the correct answer here is "Sasquatch". I was very forgiving on spelling. 2. What's the voodoo word for magic? A lot of you said "voodoo", but that's a religion. Besides, the word's in the damn question. The hell's the matter with you? The correct answer is "mojo". 3. Name the movie: "Face it, Frank, garden slugs got more out of life than you." "Hah! Name one." Here's another quote from the same movie: "I didn't know her husband died." "Frank, she wore black for an entire year!" "I remember her wearing black. I thought it was a fashion thing." Scrooged. A very great movie. 4. In mathematics, what is defined as the set of points in a given plane at a given distance from a center point? A circle. 5. On what 70's TV show would you find Freddie the frog, Charlie the owl and Henrietta Hippo? "The New Zoo Revue" (Not "The Nude Zoo Revue", as STEVE STEGER said.) That's something else entirely. TOM O'REILLY, whom the DQ already likes because his email address is in pig latin, scored extra points for including the New Zoo Revue theme song: It's the New Zoo Revue Coming Right at you It's the New Zoo Revue Coming Right at you We learn from our friend Doug And his helper Emmy Jo There's CHARLIE, FREDDIE, HENRI-ET-ET-ETT-A We have fun learning things we don't know Blah blah blah blah blah it's Henrietta Hippo Very smart and oh so bright it's Charlie the Owl Not so smart but very fun it's Freddy the Frog It's quite an unusual thing The animals talk and sing With Doug and Emmy Jo Every day's a different SHOW [repeat chorus] 6. What is the Latin term for "Let the buyer beware"? Caveat Emptor 7. Who invented bifocals? Ben Franklin 8. In what movie did Lee Marvin lead twelve prisoners-turned-commandos on a World War II suicide mission? Best wrong answer: "Force Twelve from Navarone" - from our man STEVE STEGER again. Rock on, Steve. Correct answer: The Dirty Dozen 9. In what city does Batman do his crimefighting? Gotham City 10. What's the next line of this song? "Doesn't matter what they say In the jealous game people play Hey Hey Hey" LAURA COLOMBELL included all the lyrics. I really appreciated that, because I never knew what they were saying in the third and fourth lines of the second verse. Can you see them? They talk about us Telling lies - Well that's no surprise Can you see them See right through them They have no shield No secrets to reveal Doesn't matter what they say In the jealous games people play Hey hey hey OUR LIPS ARE SEALED The Go Go's Dave Subject: The Daily Answers(r) 02/02/98 Date: Tue, 03 Feb 1998 08:15:55 -0500 by Dave George Today's Big Winners are: SARA BRADLEY JOHN BRENCE JON DAVID LISA HAJDO JOCELYN MACNEIL and MELISSA SINUNU! Each of these contestants will be receiving a Shiatsu Massager, except for JON DAVID, who will be receiving a free renewal of his Hustler subscription. Way to go!!! The Daily Quiz(r) doubles its international membership today with the introduction of DAVE GEORGE HENRY. Besides having the digginest name, Dave is a student at the University of the West Indies, Mona, located in Jamaica. Dave enjoys fishing, swimming and cowering under palm fronds during eclipses, praying for the sun to return. Also, and this is gonna be a hoot, TOM CARRIER is signing on!! Now, those of you who either went to Robinson or did a stretch in the county hoosegow will know this guy. Tom is easily one of the funniest human beings to walk the planet. During the Mr. Robinson pageant in 12th grade, we were supposed to walk across the stage one at a time, stop, take our sportcoat off, sling it over our shoulder, and walk back off. In front of a zillion students and parents, Tom walked out, took off his PANTS, slung them over his shoulder, and walked out. And Tom had an uncle who would visit them and smoke in the bathroom, thinking he was skirting Mrs. Carrier's no-smoking policy. Well, prior to one of his visits Tom was home sick. He spent considerable time pouring small amounts of gasoline into the toilet, trying to see if it would ignite when a cigarette was dropped in. It never worked, but I never forgot that story or the effort this guy will go for a laugh. Tom now lives in San Francisco, where taking your pants off on stage can garner a man big bucks. Welcome, Tom and Dave! 1. In what city does Phil the groundhog come out to see his shadow? The spelling ranged from "Punksuhtony" to "Patunxet" to "Chicago", but these were all close enough for me. The correct spelling is "Punxsutawney". I think. 2. What is the political arm of the Irish Republican Army? So many bad arm jokes. The correct answer is "Sinn Fein". (pronounced "Punk-suh-tonn-ee".) 3. What is the process of assigning priority of treatment to trauma patients called? Triage. 4. Which U.S. president had a bathtub big enough for four people installed in the White House? Taft. He was very large. 5. Name the movie: "I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of a can then nothing." "Not even the pie?" "No, just the pie, but then not heated." When Harry Met Sally. 6. What unusual kind of shoes did Dave Letterman usually wear on his show back in the 80's? Wrestling Shoes 7. Where did the Japanese lead thousands of World War II POW's on a death march? Bataan. 8. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 20. What is it? There were some really funny/ridiculous answers here: "10" - TRIP MORANO "6" - KAI WAKELING "2" - ROB BUCKANAVAGE "14" - JOEY RUSSO, LISA FLINT "3" - HEIDI HERING I could go on... Actually, the best answer came from Big Winner JOCELYN MACNEIL, who said "I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 20...is it right?" Very clever, Jocelyn! So what was the correct number? It was EIGHT!!! Dig? Question 8? Rock on if you got it. Let's see who got it: ANDY SOUDERS CHRISTINE CHALLAS ELISSA JACKSON and DAN TUCKER 9. What famous basketballer was a student of Bruce Lee? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 10. Where exactly is the Blarney Stone located? Blarney Castle, Ireland Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/03/98 Date: Wed, 04 Feb 1998 08:49:52 -0500 by Dave George Oh boy, we got us some unpleasant business to take care of here. And by "unpleasant" I mean that it will be unpleasant for the offenders, cuz the rest of us will probably kinda enjoy it. Now, everyone who has ever joined an internet mailing list knows how they can start to suck really quickly. First you're taking part in spirited debates on politics, next thing you know you're wasting time downloading messages that simply say "Steve sucks." For this reason we do not allow contestants to reply to the entire group. So, as you all by now know we had two of these yesterday. The first one, by our newest contestant and second favorite Jamaican, DAVE HENRY, I'm going to let slide with just a warning. It's the kid's first day on the DQ and he didn't know any better. Plus, I watched Cool Runnings again last night, and that movie always gets me all weepy for those plucky Jamaicans. But MEREDITH HANLEY, on the other hand...well, I just can't understand how someone can make fun of somebody who sent a message to the entire group by SENDING A MESSAGE TO THE ENTIRE GROUP. This is not without precedence, as many of you remember. And if I'm not mistaken, the last offender was from the same company. Perhaps he can offer you some pointers on how to spend your new free time while serving out your suspension. Meredith gets 5 days. See ya next week! ******************** Today's Big Winners: ******************** LAURA COLOMBELL (come on you guys, beat this chick!) and PETER LEWIS Laura and Peter win a VHS copy of "Blue Hawaii" starring Elvis Presley. Way to go!! 1. What is the only one of the original Seven Ancient Wonders of the World that is still around? MIKE WAITE pointed out: "FYI, it's the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World." "Hello, Department of nitpicking, Mike speaking, how may I help you?" No, no, Mike's right. And I'm a right bastard about these things myself, so I guess I should just lump it. Oh, the answer here "The Pyramids at Giza". 2. In the movie Citizen Kane, what was "Rosebud"? JASON PODGORSKI: "Possibly a mysterious French woman....Not really sure except that Kane dies alone in his extravagant mansion, Xanadu, speaking a single word: "Rosebud". In an attempt to figure out the meaning of this word, a reporter tracks down the people who worked and lived with Kane; they tell their stories in a series of flashbacks that reveal much about Kane's life but not enough to unlock the riddle of his dying breath." Jason, my young friend, that reads like every Cliff's Notes book report I ever did in high school. You didn't watch this movie, weasel. Maybe if you *had* watched it instead of smoking those refer cigarettes and listening to that new Seattle sound you kids are so fond of you would have known what Rosebud was. It was Kane's sled, which he rode as a child. (The mysterious French woman he didn't ride until much later on.) But ya know, Jason, the more I read it the more your description of this movie smacks of internet research. Hold on a second, I'm gonna go check a couple likely sources... DOH!!! BUSTED! Folks, kindly read Jason's Citizen Kane summary again, then read the passage below which I cut and pasted from The Internet Movie Database. IMDB: "Multimillionaire newspaper tycoon Charles Foster Kane dies alone in his extravagant mansion, Xanadu, speaking a single word: "Rosebud". In an attempt to figure out the meaning of this word, a reporter tracks down the people who worked and lived with Kane; they tell their stories in a series of flashbacks that reveal much about Kane's life but not enough to unlock the riddle of his dying breath." Down to the semicolon! Sorry, Jason, you are so nailed! Hooo! I love this game, don't you? 3. Who was David Berkowitz better known as? No, DAVE HENRY, it wasn't Batman, but I did give points to everyone else who answered with that, because you tricked them so well. He was known as the Son of Sam 4. Who built the Spruce Goose? A lot of people said Boeing for some reason, but it was the Hughes Aircraft Company, founded by Howard Hughes. In an A&E Biography of him they said that in his final days he was so looney that he wore Kleenex boxes on his feet. I just hope he wasn't a jogger, cuz those things give very little arch support. A couple more interesting facts: -Hughes Aircraft is now located right here in Arlington, VA, on Wilson Blvd. -The hangar where the Spruce Goose was housed for ten years is now a movie soundstage where The Cable Guy was filmed. 5. What is the national sport of South Korea? Best Correct Answer: "Tae Kwon D'OH!" - MATT GEORGE, who can't hold a conversation without working a Simpsons quote into it. Best Wrong Answer: "Bombing Trash Piles (Remember 5 o'clock Charlie from M*A*S*H?)" - GEOFF HARKNESS (I do remember that episode, it was really funny.) By the way, I'm sure I'm gonna get a lot of emails telling me that it's not Tae Kwon Do, but I swear I just heard it on A&E's "Martial Arts" the other night. 6. What 80's sitcom had a theme song that included these lyrics: What would we do, baby, without us? What would we do, baby, without us? Cuz there ain't no nothin' we can't love each other through What would we do, baby, without us? Sha-la-la-laaa... "Family Ties" 7. What type of plane is Lockheed's SR-71 Blackbird? I must say that the worst answer belonged to AMY MACPHERSON, who said "A Helicopter". I mean, goddamn, the word "plane" is IN the question. But Amy seems a sweet girl, so we gave her credit anyway. SHANE SLEIGHTER: "A kick ass spy plane (or survellance aircraft). I got to see one at Dryden Space Flight Center in California. Cool story: the SR-71 takes off with only enough fuel to get off the ground and then is fueled in the air. Once it comes back to the ground, long pans are put under it and all the fuel leaks back out again over the next couple of days. The reason is that the fuselage used to burst when it would expand from the heat of the engine, so they finally made a fuselage that, when cool, was not connected. After the engine has been running for a couple of minutes, the fuselage expands and connects. When the engine is turned off, it contracts and all the fuel leaks back out again." 8. Who was Mick Jagger's first wife? Bianca Jagger 9. Name the movie: "Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing around. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the clear water - BAM! A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask you, do you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?!" My Cousin Vinny 10. What is the name of that silly sport where participants slide "stones" across an ice rink while these foolish little people scamper about, sweeping in front of the sliding stone with brooms? Curling HEATHER BRAUN gets credit for "stone hockey", cuz that's what it's called in Greenland. AMY MACPHERSON: "Shuttle Cock" (I'm sorry?) BONUS QUESTION: What has Karla Faye Tucker requested for her last meal before being executed tonight? Now, I am on record as being against the death penalty, and certainly there's nothing funny about her dying last night...except for some of these answers: "Just a little something to pick at." - KARL ROTHMAN "Tombstone Pizza" - SALLY STENGEL, ELISSA JACKSON, a couple others, sorry, I can't find your names. "An old friend." - SCOTT BAGER "Fried chicken, dirty rice, and red beans and gravy from Popeye's. At least that's what I would ask for." - DAN RIPPEL Congratulations once again to Laura and Peter! You are a credit to your community. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/04/98 Date: Thu, 05 Feb 1998 08:11:03 -0500 by Dave George Today's Big Winner is LEETO TLOU!!!! Leeto, who lives with contestant JIM GILKESON (but, as they are always telling people, "Just as friends") is a Harley-riding, strapping young buck who is famous for having the ability to hear a pretty girl say something like "I'm originally from Iowa" and then say "Hey, *I'm* from Iowa!" and know enough enough about geography to pull it off. You gotta love that kind of effort. The DQ salutes you, Leeto, on your Big Win!! Leeto wins a Salad Shooter! Way to go, Leeto! NOTE: There were some other very excellent scores, but as most of you know, the DQ reserves the right to choose one winner from the top finishers. Especially when the DQ has a lot of work to do. 1. Name the movie: "Lord, we give you Shorty. Try not to piss him off." OK, I screwed the question up by getting the name wrong. Shoulda read "Curly", not "Shorty". DQ superpower, LAURA COLOMBELL pointed it out. But I'm glad I did get it wrong, cuz it meant that only those people who *really* knew the answer (City Slickers) got it right. No amount of web research would have given you the correct answer without the name Curly in there. Best Answer: "The Ten Commandments" - STEVE BOSWELL These three got the right answer: LAURA COLOMBELL ROB WAGNER and CHRISTINE CHALLAS 2. On what hijacked ship was that old crippled man killed by Palestinian terrorists and rolled overboard? "HMS Bounty" - PAT GEORGE "HMS Pinafore" - ELISSA JACKSON "HMS Beagle" - MELISSA BOWEN "S.S. Minnow" - HEIDI HERING "The Big Red Boat" - ANGIE MARCIANO "The Love Boat" - STEVE STEWART "The Amistad" - SHANE SLEIGHTER Correct answer: The Achille Lauro 3. What's the name of Bob Marley's hometown? Most of you said Kingston, which is technically correct, but if you're really familiar with his music you'll know that he often sings about living in Trenchtown, which is located in Kingston. A few of you said St Ann, which is where he was born and lived until he moved to Trenchtown when he was five. I had to give credit to all these answers since I'm basically an insecure person and don't want anyone to hate me. Another Bob Marley fun fact: His father was Hall of Fame quarterback Johnny Unitas. (Actually, I made that up. But he *did* love the Colts and wrote "No Woman No Cry" when they left Baltimore.) (I apologize for all this lying.) 4. What is the practice of having multiple husbands at one time called? Damn, I was hoping to trick you since I thought "polygamy" was multiple wives and "polyandry" was multiple husbands. Turns out that "polygyny" is multiple wives, "polyandry" (the word I was really looking for) is multiple husbands and "polygamy" is having multiple spouses, either husbands OR wives. So I accepted either polygamy or polyandry. Worst Answer: "Biligomy" - ANONYMOUS (By the way, these terrible anonymous answers? They're almost always from the same guy. But he can kick my ass, so I won't single him out. 5. What did Doogie Howser's dad do for a living? "Crack" - PAT GEORGE "Pimped" - TRIP MORANO "Doogie Howser's mom" - ELISSA JACKSON, STEVE STEGER The correct answer is "Doctor". And SHANE SLEIGHTER confusing the *character* of Doogie's dad with the *actor* who portrayed him: "Well first he lead a swat unit, then he was a nuerosurgeon (who once, as I recall, helped a guy in a cabin by drilling a hole in his skull with a Black and Decker brand Lil' Industrialist Rechargeable Drill), and then he helped lead a scientific research team testing out the Ebola virus (he was the panicky one), and Mr. Sikking has played several thousand other characters, usually hard-nosed uptight jerks." 6. Who started CNN? Ted Turner 7. Who tried to jump the Snake River Canyon in a rocket car? Evel Knievel 8. Which of the Bond Girls (from the James Bond movies) had the best name? Pussy Galore was #1 (Imagine that) Octopussy was #2 (Hmmmm...I see a common denominator here.) Xenia Onatop was a distant third. Alata Fagina garnered a great many write-in votes. Here are some other great Bond Girls who didn't make the cut: Honey Ryder Kissy Suzuki Plenty O'Toole Tiffany Case Holly Goodhead and Bibi Dahl 9. Name the movie: "I don't know how you do it!" "It's Arthur Murray...six lessons." "That's not what I mean...Two hundred pairs of eyes are focused on you right now with two questions. Who is this girl and why is the President dancing with her?" "Well, first of all, the two-hundred pairs of eyes aren't focused on me...they're focused on you. And the answers are, Sydney Ellen Wade, and because she said yes." The American President (Which I find that I am now being accused of having actually seen. Which, being a man, is NOT the case, of course.) 10. What hi-tech company did Larry Ellison start? Oracle Congratulations again to LEETO TLOU!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/06/98 Date: Fri, 06 Feb 1998 10:30:49 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/05/98 by Dave George Alright, for the last time, KNOCK IT OFF! There is such a thing called "Netiquette", which dictates, among other things, that mailing lists are to be used solely for the purpose for which people subscribed to them. Using another moderator's distribution list for your own stuff is a big no-no. I thought we'd covered this pretty well, but apparently I was mistaken. As much as I'd love to believe that Bill Gates is going to give me a thousand dollars for sending an email, the simple fact is that I live in a quaint little place called "Reality" where things like that just don't happen. Now, we got two of these unsolicited mass-mailings yesterday. One was pure spam (junk mail), but the other was at least friendly net-humor. The spammer shall receive ONE MONTH suspension. The DQGB (Daily Quiz Governing Board) was split between a long suspension and total banishment, and while I was initially for banishment, the pro-suspensioners eventually won out. However, this is as good as banishment, cuz I'm sure I'll forget all about this chick in a month. Darwinboy shall receive a one day suspension. Granted, the light sentence has much to do with the fact that Sean's a dear old pal who is also a federal agent and could adversely affect my standing with the IRS should he so desire. What kind of a madman is Sean? Well, once, he and Jeff Browning were driving in Northern Virginia and a guy behind them became irate, believing Sean had cut him off. At a red light the guy got out of his car and made like he was gonna give them the business. When he leaned into their car they pulled him through the driver's window and beat the snot out of him. Man, I love that story. ***************************************************** >From here on out, any person who sends an email to the DQ distro list shall be banished for all eternity. ***************************************************** Today's Big Winner is MILLIE PERRINE!!! Millie scored a stunning 11 out of 10! Rock on, Mills! Millie wins a copy of this fantastic financial primer I found on the internet called "Make Money Fast"! I should send it out to everyone I know, actually. DAVE ROGERS receives a special DQ Props Award for not only turning in a fine Quiz yesterday, but also for solving our problem of having all the addresses show in your DQ. This should prevent our generous little "helpers" out there from sharing all that "new", cool stuff they've found on the web. Dave wins DAVE HAGLER's pair of squeaky new shoes. Please let me know if you can still see other people's addresses. We will immediately revoke Dave's award. 1. What NBA team was Dennis Rodman on prior to playing for the Bulls? Spurs or Pistons 2. What General was commander of the U.S. Southern Command in 1990? Gen. Maxwell Thurman Just about everyone said "Schwarzkopf", and truth be told, that was what I was going for, but I should've said "Central Command". Southcomm was Thurman. As SCOTT BAGER pointed out, Thurman was the man behind the Panama invasion. MILLIE PERRINE was the other person to get this one right. 3. V.I. Lenin lead what group of Marxist radicals in their ousting of the Romanovs in Russia? Bolsheviks 4. Name the movie: "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he doesn't exist." The Usual Suspects 5. What French artist painted "Irises"? It was Van Gogh, but someone informed me that he was Dutch or something. (I'm sorry, but with all the hub-bub over JENNIFER FAY's spam I didn't get the contestant's name. Blame her.) 6. What are inhabitants of the island of Lesbos called? Lesbosians. This is an old Trivial Pursuit question. Best Variation of the Most Common Answer: "Hot Damn, Lesbians." - TRIP MORANO 7. I'll name two members of a band, and you name the band: A. Geddy Lee and Neil Peart Rush B. Leroi Moore and Boyd Tinsley Dave Matthews Band C. John Pineta and Brian Belforte Johnnie's Heritage (Unless you went to JMU there was pretty much no way you were gonna get this one. Sorry 'bout that, but it's your own fault for not getting better SATs.) D. Paul Stanley and Peter Chriss KISS E. Ron Wood and Charlie Watts The Rolling Stones 8. What did Mindy's dad do for a living on "Mork & Mindy"? Best Wrong Answer: "Doogie Howser's Mom" - ANDY SOUDERS, MATT GEORGE, I think a couple others. Correct Answer: He owned a music store. 9. What name has been the most popular amongst popes? (And which name has yet to be used?) A few of you said "Peter", but he was actually the very FIRST Pope. (Of course, how hard could it be to get that gig when you're actually PALS with Jesus?) A lot of people said "Pius" was the most popular name, and while 12 of them have bunked in the Vatican there have been 23 "John's". Names not yet used? "Sting" - MICHAEL ROLFES "Kirby" - MILLIE PERRINE "Alota Fagina" - CHRIS BLILEY "Jesus" - DAN RIPPEL "Guido Sarduchi" - MICHAEL CANAVAN "Corky" - MATT GEORGE (Matt, that's wrong, Pope Corky II (1723-1738) introduced to the Catholic Church the "Double Handed Sign of the Cross", where you use both hands to slap your forehead and chest at the same time, then both shoulders, thus saving time which can be better spent praying.) (Actually, I invented this, something which has provided my parents no small amount of Sunday shame.) 10. What cartoon's theme song included these lyrics: "When you're threatened by a stranger, When it looks like you're in danger, When it looks like you will take a lickin', (buc, buc, buc, buc) There is someone waiting, Who will hurry up and rescue you, just Caaaaaall for _______ ________!" Super Chicken ALLAN HERING and GEORGE PATCH, taking time away from their busy Quake schedule, corrected my recollection of these lyrics somewhat. It wasn't "Caaaaall for Super Chicken", it was "Baaaaak for Super Chicken". (He's clucking like a chicken.) BONUS: Why did the Allies require a pneumonia victim in order to help them succeed in their invasion of Normandy? MATT GEORGE was in some kind of zone yesterday: "They sent him out first to see if the beach was mined. He didn't care. He was just happy to be outdoors." Correct Answer: They planted fake plans on a dead guy, detailing an invasion that would take place hundreds of miles from the actual invasion site, and threw him overboard. The hope was that the Germans would find him washed up on the coast of France, think he'd fallen off a ship and drowned, and then move their defenses in accordance with these fake battle plans. In order to make it look real, they needed someone who had died of pneumonia, since they die with lungs filled with water. The plan actually worked, and the rest, as they say, is the History Channel. STEVE BOSWELL and MILLIE PERRINE were the sole history buffs to get this one. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/06/98 Date: Tue, 10 Feb 1998 09:09:45 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/06/98 by Dave George Sorry for the lack o' DQ yesterday, but I was sick. Today's Big Winners are: HEATHER BRAUN CHRISTY CHALLAS TRACY GOEBEL and MATT YOUNG!!! They each win two tickets to the Gold Medal round of Olympic Curling in Nagano! (A prize worth 18 bucks!) Now, the question must be asked: Are the DQ women *that* much smarter than the guys to always be winning like this, or are they just better at using their feminine wiles to get the answers out of their brilliant male coworkers?? Hmmmmmm... 1. What's the active ingredient in Rogaine? "Riboflavin" - ED BAGER "Weed" - DAVE HENRY (Hey, Jamaica, we don't go for that ganja-talk here, mon.) ('Course, if it *did* grow hair, I'd be the second coming of Peter Tosh.) The correct answer is Minoxidil. I loved the answers like "Menoxydyll--(may be spelled wrong)". Thanks for the tip! 2. Who got the silver medal to Oksana Baiul's gold? Best Answer: "K E double R I G A N spells Kerrigan" - MIKE ROLFES This is a familiar tune to all "Gilligan's Island" fans, cuz they sang Gilligan's name like that in one episode, didn't they? It also reminds me of this old Allen Sherman record my parents had when I was a kid. (He sang "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah", which I shall recall from memory for you now.) Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah Here I am at, Camp Grenada Camp is very...entertaining And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining. I went hiking With Joe Spivey He developed Poison Ivy You remember Jeffrey Hardy? They're about to organize a searching party. (chorus) Take me home I hate Grenada Take me home I hate Grenada, where I might get eaten by a bear. (There's a lot more, but I can't remember.) 3. What musical featured the songs "Sodomy" and "Aquarius"? Hair 4. What kind of car did James Dean die in? Best Answer: "The Adobe" - CHRIS BLILEY (Man, that was one funny SNL skit.) Correct Answer: Porsche Spider 5. Finish this MTV slogan: "Doodle doodle dee _________ ___________ ___________." Almost NOBODY got this one! However, the following contestants did: ROB BUCKANAVAGE CHRISTY CALLAS GEORGE PATCH and MATT YOUNG So how did it go? Doodle doodle dee WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA 6. Name the song AND the band: "Just a city boy Born and raised in south Detroit He took the midnight train goin' anywhere..." "Don't Stop Believin'" - Journey ("Hold on to that feeee-lay-eee-yay-in.") 7. What late-80's Supreme Court nominee did not get confirmed by Congress in large part due to his owning a vacation home which had a covenant that restricted its rental to Jewish people? Worst Answer: "J. Edgar Hoover" - ANONYMOUS Correct Answer: Robert Bork (Very few of you got this, so if you did...ummmm...you can go home early today.) 8. Speaking of the Supreme Court, who said to Sandra Day O'Connor at a black tie dinner, "Loosen up, Sandy baby!" John Riggins, Riggo, Ol' #44, The Locomotive, Old Man Poopy Pants. (Last one may not be right.) 9. In "I Love Lucy", where was Lucy's husband from? Havana, Cuba 10. What's the name of the small air sacs which make up the lungs? "Areola" - STEVE STEGER (Rest easy, girls, Steve's not a surgeon.) Correct Answer: Alveoli BONUS: (TOUGHIE) What is the significance of the baby chick on Bon Ami's label? MARC ROWLEY: "It represents sex and makes you want to buy it." You twisted little monkey. No, I don't think anyone got this one. You really had to love Bon Ami as much as I do to know this. So, here it is: Chickens scratch the ground to uncover food, right? Well, seems that when lil' baby chicks are born they still have enough nourishment in them from the egg that they don't have to start scratching for food right away. So, the baby chick, having not scratched yet, represents their product whose slogan is "Hasn't Scratched Yet!" Pretty neat, huh? Makes ya wanna go clean something. Congratulations once again to today's Big Winners: HEATHER BRAUN CHRISTY CHALLAS TRACY GOEBEL and MATT YOUNG!!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/10/98 Date: Wed, 11 Feb 1998 07:52:26 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/10/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners are... (Isn't the anticipation delicious??) SARA BRADLEY JAME FLINT HEIDI HERING DAN RIPPEL and MATT YOUNG!!! Matt sure does win a lot. We may have to test him for banned substances. Speaking of which, how can they take that Canadian's gold medal back for testing positive for pot? If that guy managed to accomplish all the things necessary to win a medal in the Olympics--the training, the practice, the motivation, the concentration--while STONED, they ought to give him two medals. Just my opinion. Today's winners will each receive a case of Golden Seal. Way to go!! 1. Complete this famous quote attributed to either Napolean or Sun Tzu (can't remember which): "When your enemy is making a mistake..." "buy Sare Lee coffee cake" - SHANE SLEIGHTER "nail an intern" - TOM O'REILLY "it's a bad time to be in the john." - TRIP KIRKPATRICK "blessed be the meek for they shall inherit the earth." LAURA COLOMBELL (Hey, Laura, you take the credit, you take the blame.) "give them a wedgie, shove them in a locker and then have a good laugh about it with your buddies." - JP XENAKIS "point and laugh." - SARA BRADLEY Some of you dug deep and found some Sun Tzu quotes that were kinda close, but not cigar material. The correct ending to this quote is "...do not interrupt him." This was used a lot to explain the Republicans' silence during the beginning of the whole Tailgate scandal. Sun Tzu, by the way, wrote "The Art of War", of which I read exactly three pages before falling into a deep, coma-like sleep. Sun Tzu fun fact: Encyclopedia Brittanica writes, "While Sun Tzu (1345-1422) wrote extensively on the subject of war, he was regarded by many of his era to be just a great big pussy." I think only KATE KIRKPATRICK came close on this one. 2. What president signed the Civil Rights Act? Lyndon Johnson 3. What is a rhinoceros's horn made of? Everyone who said "keratin" lost 5 points for looking it up on the web. The correct answer is "Hair". 4. Name the movie: "Ten more seconds and I'm leaving!" "What did you say??" "Ten more seconds and I'm leaving." "Oh." "Why, what did you think I said?" "Earn more sessions by sleeving." "What the hell does that mean??" "I don't know! That's why I came back out!!" Roxanne JIM GILKESON said "Dead men don't wear plaid", which is so close, cuz it's another Steve Martin movie. Steve Martin fun fact: He doesn't sign autographs, but instead gives people pre-signed business cards that read "This card verifies that the holder had a personal encounter with Steve Martin." 5. What figure skater won the silver medal to Kristi Yamaguchi's gold? OK, you know what? All of you can kiss my ass. I happen to like figure skating, OK? 13 years of private lessons and an alternate slot on the U.S. Junior National team give me the right to ask as many damn questions about it as I want. There is so much inherent beauty in the sport: The Lutz, the Double Lutz, the Triple Lutz...I could go on. Alright, the only reason I asked this particular question is because Midori Ito, the correct answer, caught so much hell for losing to a Japanese-American that she developed an eating disorder. Then her country has her light the Olympic Flame. (Personally, I think that Scott Hamilton is the Olympic Flame, but that's neither here nor there.) 6. Besides hearing, what important function do an elephant's ears serve? "Flying" - JP XENAKIS, SEAN BOYLE, LAURA COLOMBELL, JOHN HERING "Fly Swatting" - JAMES MALONEY "Big ass radiators to help cool them off." - STEVE BOSWELL And the correct answer is: Big ass radiators to help cool them off! DAVE MARIA said "Thermoregulation"--HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! What a stupid answ--oh, OK, I guess that's right. Sorry Dave. 7. What is the meaning and significance of the Latin "Citius, Altius, Fortius"? "I like oranges, I like Altoids, I like a breakfast fortified with essential vitamins and minerals." - SHANE SLEIGHTER "Seek, conquer and destroy" - HEATHER BRAUN "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!!" - PAUL GEORGE "The white zone is for loading and unloading only." - TOM O'REILLY The correct answer is "Faster, Higher, Stronger. The Olympic motto." 8. The atom bomb is to fision as what is to fusion? ANDY SOUDERS said, "I have no idea. I didn't get too far in school. But I sure love boys!" (Andy didn't really say this, but that's what happens when you correct my spelling.) The correct answer is "The hydrogen bomb." 9. What country hosted the first winter olympics? Ewwwww, is it getting dumb in here or is it me? Who the hell was it that corrected me with "Greace, but I think you mean the first *Modern* winter olympics."???? Shoot, I can't find him. But do you see what a silly sumbitch this kid is? There has only been one kind of winter olympics, jocko, and that's the modern kind. The ancient "Greaks", as you put it, were not big skiiers. Question: Am I a hypocrite for getting on Andy for correcting my spelling, then making fun of this guy's spelling? Answer: Yes. The correct answer to question #9 is "France". If you said "Chamonix, France" you got it wrong, cuz I asked "what COUNTRY". Just kidding. 10. In what movie was there a bad guy named Victor Maitland? Beverly Hills Cop Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/11/98 Date: Thu, 12 Feb 1998 08:28:43 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/11/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winner is... LAURA COLOMBELL Surprise! Laura just baaaaaarely beat CHRISTIE CHALLAS by a score of 1350 to 1250. Way to go, Laura!! Laura wins a carton of Pace Picante Hellfire Hot Sauce! Mmmmmm, Hellfire... As is the tradition, whenever I enlist people for the DQ by going out and getting drunk with them (that's how my little brothers got on) I like to introduce them to the group. Last weekend I went boozing in Georgetown with our two newest contestants, CHRISTINA ANDERSON and HEATHER MOORE. Christina is a financial advisor from Bethesda who enjoys working out and whistling show tunes. She is a graduate of the University of Maryland and has never served a significant stretch of time in lockup. Heather lives and works in Tysons Corner, and says that what she loves best about the Daily Quiz, besides its compliance with the strict laws of her faith, is its ability to bring really smart *and* really dumb people together at the same time. Just like school before they started dividing us up by ability level. Welcome, ladies! *********************************************************** Note to everyone: We are putting together plans for DQapalooza '98, where you can finally meet your fellow contestant, have a long conversation with him over a couple beers, and come to the conclusion that he *must* have been cheating on every quiz, cuz he is a complete idiot. So watch your inbox for details! *********************************************************** 1. What training facility is located at Miramar, CA? I was going for Top Gun, but tons of you were quick to point out that Top Gun is no longer there. Well wooo-wooooooo for you. I was just trying to give you an easy question to quell all this bitching about how hard the quiz is--"Daaaaave, today's DQ is soooo haaaard!" "Daaaaaaaave! Today's is to tooooough!!" I'm sorry. I was wrong and I should just own up to it. 2. Who won the Female Athlete of the Year at this year's ESPY Awards? Mia Hamm 3. Complete this old mariner's rhyme: "Red sky in morning..." I was really looking for the ENTIRE rhyme, but I didn't specify. In any event, it goes: Red sky in morning Sailor take warning Red sky at night Sailor's delight Is this an accurate way to forecast the weather? According to my Dad, who used to hang out at the docks in Norfolk and wrestle sailors for lunch money, it is. Dig, in North America weather patterns generally travel west to east, so if clouds are in the west in the morning, they appear to glow red. This means bad weather is coming. And if clouds are heading away from you the sky will glow at sunset. 4. Sparrow, AMRAM, TOW, Sidewinder and Hellfire are all examples of what? "Hemorrhoids. (Hellfire being the worst.)" - PAT GEORGE (oof, tell me about it, bro.) "Sexual position" - MILLIE PERRINE (Millie, Sidewinder? Hellfire? Call me. 394-7336.) JOHN BRENCE was dead-on with "Missiles, not necessarily all air-to-air or air-to-ground." 5. In what Keanu Reeves movie did he say, "You know, you need a license to drive a car. You even need a license to own a dog. But any butt-reamin' asshole can become a father." Parenthood 6. What is meant by a "four stroke engine"? "An Indian with serious brain clots." - JOEY RUSSO "he-he you said stroke" - DAN RIPPEL PAUL GEORGE got it right with: "The number refers to the number of times the piston goes up or down before completing an entire firing cycle. 1 - Gas/Air intake -- Down 2 - Compression -- Up 3 - Ignition -- Down 4 - Exhaust -- Up. repeat as necessary." 7. Kindly compare and contrast the lengths of time a soldier was required to serve in combat duty during World War II and the Vietnam War. Vietnam was one year. WWII was until the war was over. 8. What way-cool piece of NASA technology wowed the crowds at the opening ceremonies of the '84 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles? JOHN BRENCE - "Space Blankets" (Those are definitely spectacular, John.) GEOFF HARKNESS - "The Hubbel Telescope" (And had it existed it would have been something.) AMY MACPHERSON - "The Rocketeer jet backpack thingy???" Correct Answer? The Rocketeer jet backpack thingy!!!! 9. Remember that question we had on the Bolshevik Revolution? Well, what have the communists always referred to it as? (The revolution, not the question.) The Great October Revolution (Now called "The Great October Revolution Day Sale at Macy's") 10. What future test pilot and sound barrier breaker became a WWII flying ace, shooting down five enemy airplanes, in only one battle? (Hint: It was not Nell Carter.) Chuck Yeager. Chuck actually became a "Double Ace", by shooting down 11 enemy planes before getting shot down himself. He then spent 6 weeks shlepping through occupied France to get away from the Germans. Not no 6 days hiding in hedges, waiting for someone to get him like that sissy Scott O'Grady. They shot ol' Chuck down and he said "Aw, now I gotta walk back." Prolly kilt him some nazis on the way just to keep in practice. God bless you, Chuck Yeager. God bless America. I'll be in class today and tomorrow ("Oracle Statement Tuning for Fun and Profit"), so if you have any urgent issues that need to be addressed, or just want to chat, please call John Hering @ (703) 418-2800 (ext 329). Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/11/98 Date: Thu, 12 Feb 1998 08:28:43 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/11/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winner is... LAURA COLOMBELL Surprise! Laura just baaaaaarely beat CHRISTIE CHALLAS by a score of 1350 to 1250. Way to go, Laura!! Laura wins a carton of Pace Picante Hellfire Hot Sauce! Mmmmmm, Hellfire... As is the tradition, whenever I enlist people for the DQ by going out and getting drunk with them (that's how my little brothers got on) I like to introduce them to the group. Last weekend I went boozing in Georgetown with our two newest contestants, CHRISTINA ANDERSON and HEATHER MOORE. Christina is a financial advisor from Bethesda who enjoys working out and whistling show tunes. She is a graduate of the University of Maryland and has never served a significant stretch of time in lockup. Heather lives and works in Tysons Corner, and says that what she loves best about the Daily Quiz, besides its compliance with the strict laws of her faith, is its ability to bring really smart *and* really dumb people together at the same time. Just like school before they started dividing us up by ability level. Welcome, ladies! *********************************************************** Note to everyone: We are putting together plans for DQapalooza '98, where you can finally meet your fellow contestant, have a long conversation with him over a couple beers, and come to the conclusion that he *must* have been cheating on every quiz, cuz he is a complete idiot. So watch your inbox for details! *********************************************************** 1. What training facility is located at Miramar, CA? I was going for Top Gun, but tons of you were quick to point out that Top Gun is no longer there. Well wooo-wooooooo for you. I was just trying to give you an easy question to quell all this bitching about how hard the quiz is--"Daaaaave, today's DQ is soooo haaaard!" "Daaaaaaaave! Today's is to tooooough!!" I'm sorry. I was wrong and I should just own up to it. 2. Who won the Female Athlete of the Year at this year's ESPY Awards? Mia Hamm 3. Complete this old mariner's rhyme: "Red sky in morning..." I was really looking for the ENTIRE rhyme, but I didn't specify. In any event, it goes: Red sky in morning Sailor take warning Red sky at night Sailor's delight Is this an accurate way to forecast the weather? According to my Dad, who used to hang out at the docks in Norfolk and wrestle sailors for lunch money, it is. Dig, in North America weather patterns generally travel west to east, so if clouds are in the west in the morning, they appear to glow red. This means bad weather is coming. And if clouds are heading away from you the sky will glow at sunset. 4. Sparrow, AMRAM, TOW, Sidewinder and Hellfire are all examples of what? "Hemorrhoids. (Hellfire being the worst.)" - PAT GEORGE (oof, tell me about it, bro.) "Sexual position" - MILLIE PERRINE (Millie, Sidewinder? Hellfire? Call me. 394-7336.) JOHN BRENCE was dead-on with "Missiles, not necessarily all air-to-air or air-to-ground." 5. In what Keanu Reeves movie did he say, "You know, you need a license to drive a car. You even need a license to own a dog. But any butt-reamin' asshole can become a father." Parenthood 6. What is meant by a "four stroke engine"? "An Indian with serious brain clots." - JOEY RUSSO "he-he you said stroke" - DAN RIPPEL PAUL GEORGE got it right with: "The number refers to the number of times the piston goes up or down before completing an entire firing cycle. 1 - Gas/Air intake -- Down 2 - Compression -- Up 3 - Ignition -- Down 4 - Exhaust -- Up. repeat as necessary." 7. Kindly compare and contrast the lengths of time a soldier was required to serve in combat duty during World War II and the Vietnam War. Vietnam was one year. WWII was until the war was over. 8. What way-cool piece of NASA technology wowed the crowds at the opening ceremonies of the '84 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles? JOHN BRENCE - "Space Blankets" (Those are definitely spectacular, John.) GEOFF HARKNESS - "The Hubbel Telescope" (And had it existed it would have been something.) AMY MACPHERSON - "The Rocketeer jet backpack thingy???" Correct Answer? The Rocketeer jet backpack thingy!!!! 9. Remember that question we had on the Bolshevik Revolution? Well, what have the communists always referred to it as? (The revolution, not the question.) The Great October Revolution (Now called "The Great October Revolution Day Sale at Macy's") 10. What future test pilot and sound barrier breaker became a WWII flying ace, shooting down five enemy airplanes, in only one battle? (Hint: It was not Nell Carter.) Chuck Yeager. Chuck actually became a "Double Ace", by shooting down 11 enemy planes before getting shot down himself. He then spent 6 weeks shlepping through occupied France to get away from the Germans. Not no 6 days hiding in hedges, waiting for someone to get him like that sissy Scott O'Grady. They shot ol' Chuck down and he said "Aw, now I gotta walk back." Prolly kilt him some nazis on the way just to keep in practice. God bless you, Chuck Yeager. God bless America. I'll be in class today and tomorrow ("Oracle Statement Tuning for Fun and Profit"), so if you have any urgent issues that need to be addressed, or just want to chat, please call John Hering @ (703) 418-2800 (ext 329). Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/12/98 Date: Mon, 16 Feb 1998 09:39:54 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/12/98 by Dave George Regarding the Banishing we had on Friday: I've received a very mixed mailbag on this issue. Here is but a sampling of your emails: ************************* "I personally think an excpetion should be made for Dave Hagler." "God bless you, Goodwife Dave." "Sacrifice Jennifer Fay for Dave Hagler." "Right on, holmes!" "It's about time! I only like to get DQ's from you, Dave." "Hooray! Hooray!" "As for Boyle, away with him." "Dave, did you watch Dr. Quinn last night? It was awesome." "Long live the DQ! And its rules!" ************************** We heard from SEAN BOYLE late last night regarding his banishment. Here is what he had to say: "What are *you* lookin at?.......You all are a bunch of *fuckin* assholes ......Know why?.......because you don't have the *guts* to be what you want to be........You need people like me......You need people like me so you can point your *fuckin* fingers and say *that's* the bad guy.....What does that make you?......You're not good.....You just know how to hide.....How to lie......Me.....I don't have that problem.....Me......I always tell the truth.....Even when I lie......So *say* goodnight to the bad guy....Come on.....Last time you're going to see a bad guy like this......I tell you....Come on make way for the bad guy.....There's a bad guy coming through....Better get out of his way......" Oh man, Sean scored HUGE points with the Quizmaster here for picking the *perfect* quote from Scarface to apply to his situation. And if he was still a contestant that would certainly count for something. Naaahhh, you know that I'll let Dave and Sean sneak back on sooner or later. Today's Big Winners are: ANGIE BURKE TRACY GOEBEL and GEOFF HARKNESS!!!! They each win a Dick Trickle Signature Series Winston Cup AM/FM Radio Headset. 1. Fill in the blank. Downtown Julie Brown ends each episode of her show on E! with these words: "Peace, Love and _______." CHRIS BLILEY: "Understanding" - Hah! What a fag. No, it's actually "Gossip". She hosts the E! Gossip show. 2. What state does John Cougar Mellancamp call home? Oh, this is a great DQ Six Degrees of Separation. ANGIE BURKE, one of today's Big Winners, has this husband, see? And he used to PAL AROUND with John Cougar Mellancamp back in Bloomington, Indiana (his hometown). In fact, Mr. Mellancamp cast Pat (Angie's husband) and Pat's brothers in his video "R-0-C-K in the USA". Pretty wacky. 3. What Victoria's Secret model was romantically involved with Axl Rose and appeared in his "November Rain" video? Stephanie Seymour LAURA COLOMBELL adds: "(also appears in Don't You Cry video - her an Axl broke up after a New Year's Party at their house became violent and she punched him in a sensitive area and he threw her down the stairs . . . . . I read PEOPLE)" 4. Name the artist and the song: "Everyday is like survival You're my lover, not my rival" "Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club 5. What was the first video shown on MTV? "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles 6. What were the first words spoken on MTV? "Is this thing on?" - DAN RIPPEL and JP XENAKIS "... these idiots don't even realize that they'll be part of a mass brain programming sche... what's that? Oh, we're on the air. ahem... Welcome to MTV everyone, my name is Adam Curry..." - JOHN HERING "Hi! And welcome to Music Television. Enjoy these videos now, because in the future we plan to air senseless documentaries, cartoons, and music news shows, but no videos. We will eventually create our own competition but call it another name, possibly MTV2 or VH1. Then we will do the same thing to it...now here's 'The Buggles' with 'Video Killed the Radio Star'." - ANDY SOUDERS "I heard you on the wireless back in fifty two..." - MEREDITH LINBERGER KOREN GOUTOS came closest with "Rock and Roll, dudes!" The correct answer is "Ladies and Gentlemen, Rock and Roll." 7. Figure Skaters, so often maligned and misunderstood, have been known to often rock-out and skate to this song whose lyrics appear below. Name the artist and song: "I listened to preachers I listened to fools. I watched all the dropouts Who make their own rules." Keeeee-rist. The figure skating thing is just a joke. In response to the myriad inquiries, I never really was a figure skater, was never on the Jr. National team, and am not a gay. "I've Never Been to Me" - LESLIE MARIA and ANDREA IMPARATO "Beauty School Dropout" - ELISSA JACKSON and ANGIE MARCIANO Correct Answer: "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne 8. On "The Real World", which person got kicked out of the house for pulling the covers off a girl? "Bob Dole" - KATHY WILLIAMSON (Great SNL sketch.) Correct Answer: Dave Edwards LAURA COLOMBELL had the best recollection of the event: "David (Los Angeles) He pulled the covers off Tammy and she and Beth called him a rapist. They all were friends again at the Real World Reunion." 9. What VJ is covering the Olympics in Nagano? Kennedy. (And for the record let me just say that I feel that it is a whimsical God that sends John and Robert to early graves, yet allows this one to thrive.) 10. What hottie actress married Whitesnake's David Coverdale and appeared in "Here I go again"? "Kathy Bates" - LINDA HERING (Linda has a rather warped idea of what constitutes "Hot". Witness ALLAN HERING.) Correct Answer: Tawny Kitaen Congratulations to today's Big Winners!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/16/98 Date: Tue, 17 Feb 1998 09:08:29 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/16/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners are: SCOTT DAY CABE FRANKLIN ALLAN HERING JOHN HERING DAVE MARIA and SANDI ROTHMAN!!!! Wow! Way to go!! Each of these contestants will be receiving 8 pounds of Jolly Ranchers!! 1. Who made the "Sledge-o-matic" famous? A lot of you said Dan Aykroyd, but he did the "Bass-o-Matic". The Sledge-o-Matic was made famous by Gallagher. 2. What distinguishing physical feature does Colombian soccer star Valderrama have? "Juan Valdez Tattoo on his Rump." - JIM GILKESON "A tattoo of figure skater Todd Eldredge on his left butt cheek." - ANDY SOUDERS "He has no lips." - JEFF MARSHALL "A hemorrhoid the size of an omelette." - SHANE SLEIGHTER "Third nipple." - MATT YOUNG & SCOTT BAGER "Third leg." - PAT GEORGE "One eyebrow." - MARK MURRAY "One arm." - TOM O'REILLY "One foot." - ROB BUCKANAVAGE "Half a foot." - SARA BRADLEY "No legs." - STEVE STEGER The correct answer: Huge yellow 'fro. (Although during most of the '90 World Cup he did have a hemorrhoid the size of an omelette.) 3. How long is a term in the U.S. Senate? 6 years 4. Name the movie: "Something D-O-O economics? Voodoo economics?" Ferris Bueller's Day Off 5. What was the name of the scandal where U.S. congressmen were caught accepting bribes from FBI agents posing as Arab sheiks? ABSCAM 6. What Dr. Seuss character warned us of the environmental dangers of rampant deforestization? "The Hippie in the Hat" - SCOTT BAGER The Lorax 7. What's the Latin term for "Tit for tat"? Quid Pro Quo 8. What famous American invented hundreds of uses for the peanut, including peanut butter and phonograph needles? George Washington Carver 9. What's the minimum age requirement for becoming president of the United States? 35 (Unless you have the written permission of a parent of legal guardian.) 10. Who was the war hero father of the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of "Fortunate Son"? Everyone who looked this one up on the web answered "Lewis B. Puller", but if you really knew it you gave his *true* name, Chesty Puller. If you've ever seen the Vietnam war movie The Boys in Company C you may remember the Drill Sergeant leading his recruits in prayer as they lay in bed each night, ending each one with "Goodnight, Chesty, wherever you are!!" Great movie. Congratulations again to today's Big Winners!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/17/98 Date: Wed, 18 Feb 1998 08:57:06 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/17/98 by Dave George We've got a few new contestants to introduce. As I have said before, there just isn't enough time in the day to introduce every new contestant, but I make acceptions for people who fall into one of the following categories: - Someone I've gotten drunk with. (This is the majority of new intros.) - Someone I've slept with. (Definitely the minority.) - Someone who saved my life in the war. So, today we welcome: LINDA HERING: Many of you recognize this last name, because it belongs to FOUR other DQ contestants. (ALLAN, HEIDI, JOHN and SHRIVER .) This puts the Hering family in the majority on the DQ, just exceeding my own. But I'll fix that. Anyway, Linda is an interior designer who enjoys working out at the Tysons Club and drinking vodka from the bottle while watching Ally McBeal. Oh, she's also married to Allan Hering, so that explains the vodka. SHRIVER HERING: Shrive (I call him Shrive, don't you try it) is John and Allan's dad who makes his living as an engineer. I'll bet he's the only DQ contestant to hold a patent. (He invented Television.) (Not really, it was something else.) One thing I do know is that he once made me clean Rob Christianson's puke off his porch after John and Allan got him drunk in the 9th grade. Yeah, real fair, Shrive, I'm sure you're gonna win a lot of DQ's. BECKY SYSKO: Becky is a consultant at Booz-Allen & Hamilton. She enjoys fishing and spending long hours making new friends via ham radio. OK, the truth is I don't really know Becky, but she's Colleen Morris's officemate and I couldn't really ignore her, could I? COLLEEN MORRIS: Colleen is an old pal from JMU, so you can see she fits into two of the above categories. (Yup, we got drunk and then she threw herself on a grenade for me.) Colleen is also a consultant at Booz-Allen. She works out at Gold's Gym and enjoys filling her hard drive with downloaded pictures of teen heartthrob Leif Garret. Welcome, folks!! Today's Big Winners: STEVE BOSWELL HEATHER BRAUN JOHN BRENCE TOM O'REILLY and MELISSA SINUNU!!! Today's winners will receive a carton of smokes. (Unless you don't smoke, in which case you will receive a carton of crack.) Way to go!!! 1. What are England's two houses of parliament called? The answers for this one ranged from the merely incorrect "Whigs and Torries" to the downright inexplicable "Pony and Pig". "Usher and Pain" - SHANE SLEIGHTER The correct answer is House of Commons and House of Lords. 2. What city in upstate New York was the site of one of America's worst toxic waste dumps? Man, you wanna hear the kind of dumb answer I have to put up with day in and day out? "Syracuse" - GREG HYLTON What the hell is that about? I mean, what kind of cementhead would think that Syracu--Oh, wait, this is Greg's first time playing the DQ. Sorry, Greg. Didn't mean to be so hard on you on your first time out. A lot of people said Three Mile Island, which was not a toxic waste dump, but rather the site of a partial nuclear meltdown. In Pennsylvania, to boot. To see a great picture of a farmer holding the mounted head of a cow born with two heads at Three Mile Island, go here: http://www.envirolink.org/envlib/orgs/earthbase/home/timeline/1979/tmi/ph The correct answer is Love Canal. KATE KIRKPATRICK, you're right, that does sound kinda sexual. JOHN BRENCE is correct when he says that Love Canal is really a housing development in Niagara Falls, NY. Contestant AMY MACPHERSON used to lobby for Superfund on behalf of the chemical industry. Rock on, Amy. In this Quizmaster's humble opinion Love Canal was *way* overblown, and Superfund is a huge waste of time and money. For an interesting perspective on this issue (you never know when it might show up as a DQ question), check out http://www.consumeralert.org/fumento/super.htm 3. What valuable, belonging to his mother, did Joel discover was missing when he returned from cashing some bonds at the bank in order to pay his prostitute, Lana? A big crystal egg. This was a reference to the movie Risky Business. (Note to KATHY WILLIAMSON: No.) 4. What company's stock made Forrest Gump rich? Correct Answer: "Apple Computers." Better Answer: "That fruit company, Apple." PAT GEORGE, STEVE STEWART and VICTORIA PETERSEN Bad Answer: "Sara Lee" - LEETO TLOU 5. In what museum is the Mona Lisa displayed? The Louvre. 6. Token ring, Sonet ring and Ethernet are types of what? Network architecture. If your answer had the word "network" anywhere in it you got it right. Those of you who said that sonet ring is not technically considered a network topology lost two points for being off the charts on the dork scale. Sorry, not my rule. 7. What is the investment instrument which essentially lets you gamble on whether an entire market will rise or fall? Derivatives. I also accepted: "index mutual fund" or "index option". Not that I know what either of these are, but so many of you answered with them that I figure they gotta be right. 8. Name the 70's TV show that had these lyrics: "On a star spangled night, my love You can rest your head on my shoulder." "Love American Style" ("Groovin' in the red, white and blue-hoo-hoo-HOO!") 9. What poem begins, "Once upon a midnight dreary..." The Raven (Note to CHRISTIE CHALLAS: No, dammit, I said *song*.) (Another note to CHRISTIE CHALLAS: That is a good song, though.) 10. In the movie When Harry Met Sally, what reason does she give for not having "Sunday" underwear? Just about all of the incorrect answers centered around Sally being just a big ol' whore whose weekend sexcapades precluded the wearing of panties. While scholars find this to be clearly the case once she moved to New York, the underwear episode occurred long before, while she was dating Sheldon. Correct Answer: "God" Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/18/98 Date: Thu, 19 Feb 1998 10:35:19 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/18/98 by Dave George Yeah, this quiz was kinda tough, sorry. Hey, everybody! PAUL SCHISHLER is in the HAY-OWWWWSE!!!! Paul is a Robinson Secondary School alumnus, like so many folks on the DQ. But Paul and I go back much further than that. Paul's mother likes to say how she's seen me in the all-and-all because she used to change my diapers. Yup, Paul's mom was my 7th grade teacher! Nah, actually our parents knew each other when Paul and I were tots. Paul is now married, has THREE kids, is a teacher in Chicago and runs a soccer camp for kids. Whereas, *I* get drunk, watch Dirty Dancing and cry, and crank call the Montel Williams topic hotline (1-800-MONTEL2). Welcome aboard, Schish!! Today's Big Winners: CHRISTINE CHALLAS and DAVE MARIA!!! Christine will receive 99 cents, with which she can buy a Big King burger from Burger King(r). (Tax is on you.) (For a limited time only, while supplies last. Offer not good in AL, HI, and WV.) Dave wins a Sports Illustrated Football Phone!!!! 1. What 1980 environmental act, passed as a result of Love Canal, taxed chemical companies and set guidelines for the cleanup of waste sites? I mean, god-DAMN, I *told* you in yesterday's answers that I was gonna ask a question about SUPERFUND, but some of you still didn't get it. At least now I know who among us is really reading his Daily Answers. 2. What's the medical name for genital warts? "The natural substitute for ribbed condoms." - HEIDI HERING (Note to Heidi: Ewww.) I always thought is was the Human Papilloma Virus, but apparently that is what *causes* the warts or "condyloma" as our resident med school student, JENNIFER BAGER informs me. Hey, if'n you was wearin' a condyloma you wouldn't be havin' this problem. By the way, have you seen that great movie "Papilloma", starring Dustin Hoffman and Steve McQueen? It's really good. 3. Who stuck his foot in his mouth big-time during a broadcast of Monday Night Football by exclaiming of Redskin receiver Alvin Garrett, "Look at that little monkey run!" JAMES MALONEY seems to recall the exact wording of Howard Cosell's gaff: "Joe Gibbs drafted him in the 4th round and boy can that little monkey get open!" 4. Why was Colombian soccer player Andres Escobar killed? He goofed and scored a goal against his own team in their 2-1 loss to the US in World Cup '94. 5. Remember in the movie The English Patient when that human bacon strip had a book read to him by the nurse? Well, what ancient Greek historian wrote the book? "Haven't seen the movie (Figure skating was on when I rented it)" - DAVE MARIA "I have seen that movie at least a dozen times, but I'm usually crying so hard that I miss the name of the book." - LEETO TLOU "Plato" - Most of you "Dana Plato" - STEVE STEGER "Testiclees" - PETER MCGRATH (No, but he did write the introduction.) "Hippopontamus" - SHANE SLEIGHTER (Ooh! So close, Shane!) The correct answer is "Herodotus". The only people to get this were: JENNIFER BAGER TRIP KIRKPATRICK MEREDITH LINBERGER LESLIE MARIA NATE RIPPEL and MATT YOUNG 6. Ian Schrager, the man behind L.A.'s Sky Bar, brought us what legendary 70's New York nightclub? "The Blue Oyster" - DAVE MARIA (Now that's a great answer! Anyone who answers a question with an obscure Police Academy reference and doesn't bother explaining it gets double credit.) "The Bear Bar on 74th and Broadway. I blacked out there before an Allman Bro concert 2 years ago." - STEVE BOSWELL (Not correct, but thanks for sharing what must be a special memory for you!) Correct Answer: Studio 54 7. What was the name of the stadiums where they used to hold chariot races? Hippodromes 8. Remember derivatives from yesterday? OK, what old English bank fell due to risky derivatives investing by a "rogue trader"? Extra credit for naming the trader. A lot of you said "BCCI", but that was something else. But that'd be a good question, cuz that scandal involved Wonderwoman. The correct answer is "Baring's Bank". JP XENAKIS, who himself is working hard to bring down American Express from the inside, gave us a good summary of events: "Nick Leeson sunk Baring's when he speculated wildly on the Nikkei 225 Index. He entered into a huge version of an option strategy called a straddle, betting that nothing much would happen in the market and expecting to make millions on small movements. But lo and behold, the big Kobe earthquake caused a HUGE decline in the index opening the position to essentially limitless loss. The bank lost a shitload and couldn't meet margin call." 9. In the movie A Few Good Men, why did Lt. Weinberg hate them so much? And why did Lt. Cmdr. Galloway like them so much? There were many good answers here, but the best came from ANGIE BURKE: "Weinberg - they picked on a weaker kid. He couldn't run very fast so they killed him. Galloway - they stand on a wall and say nobody's gonna hurt you tonight, not on my watch, besides I'm secretly a lesbian and I like aunt Jenny." 10. Why did little Michael get his ass caned in Singapore a few years back? He spraypainted cars. Congrats again to CHRISTINE CHALLAS and DAVE MARIA!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/19/98 Date: Fri, 20 Feb 1998 09:26:36 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/19/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: HEATHER BRAUN STEPHAN DIAMOND JANET FORD and LINDA HERING!!!!!! Each of these contestants will be receiving... A HAPPY FUN BALL!!!! "Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs: * Itching * Vertigo * Dizziness * Tingling in extremities * Loss of balance or coordination * Slurred speech * Temporary blindness * Profuse Sweating or * Heart palpitations If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee. (announcer) Happy Fun Ball! Accept no substitutes!" (Old SNL commercial Parody. Hoo! Love that one.) 1. What is the mandatory deduction for a fall in figure skating? (And you know what? The more you complaing about figure skating questions, the more figure skating questions ye shall see. Bwah-ha-ha-ha!) "$17.00" - JP XENAKIS My Pappy raised me to believe that it was a .4 deduction, but some of you, like JOHN HERING, said stuff like, "Depends on the jump and the program, but assuming we are talking about a fall while attempting a mandatory jump during the short program (a la Nicole Bobek last night) the deduction is 0.4." (Editor's Note: Fag.) 2. Who was the only relatively constant female influence in young Eddie's life on "The Courtship of Eddie's Father"? "Bruce, Eddie's Figure skating buddy" - CHRIS BLILEY (minus 6 points for bashing the great sport of figure skating.) "Mrs. Moaner, his sex-ed teacher." - JP XENAKIS "Rosey Palmer" - MICHAEL HYLTON "Ashley James, Penthouse Pet of the Month, June 1975." - JON DAVID Worst Answer: "Is that a TV show or something?" - NATE RIPPEL (I weep for the future.) A lot of you came oh-so close with: "Their Asian housekeeper." Or, as PAUL SCHISHLER said, "That yummy japanese lady." But I believe HEATHER BRAUN was the only one to get her name. "Mrs. Livingston." Rock on, Heather! 3. What resort city has a big-ass statue of Jesus overlooking it? Rio de Janeiro (DQ Fun Fact: The English translation is "River de Janeiro".) 4. What was Eva Perone's occupation before she married Juan? The most popular answers were: "Actress" "Lounge Singer" "Prostitute" "Seamstress" and "Radio Personality" Hell, I never saw the movie, but I always thought she was just an actress. You got points for any of the above, though, cuz I don't want to raise your dander. I could *not* accept: "Postmaster General" - CABE FRANKLIN "White House Intern" - Bunches of you "Coffee Grinder" - GREG HYLTON or "Coffee Bean Picker" - PAUL SCHISHLER 5. What former Partridge said in response to claims that stardom messed up his life, "Hey, I'd have been a screwed up plumber."? "Danny Bonaduce, who, by the way, was found cowering in his closet by the Phoenix Police after he beat up a prostitute that was a man but he didn't know it until after he buggered him." - MICHAEL ROLFES So what's Danny doing now? Our man in Detroit, PAUL SCHISHLER tells us: "He is now in Detroit hosting the number one rated morning drive show. Married Gretchen on their first date. Recently had daughter born and may be expecting again according to rumors." 6. In the movie The Princess Bride, Miracle Max claims that true love is the greatest thing in the world EXCEPT for one thing. What is it? "A nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky." 7. Saddam Hussein fancies himself the second coming of what ancient king of Babylon? Nebuchadnezzar 8. What religion brought the world the Inquisition? Catholicism 9. Name one non-human who occupied a square on "Hollywood Squares"? "Alf" - Tons of you. "Madame" - Bunch of ya. "Shadow Stevens" - JERRY HELISEK 10. What general warned us never to get involved in a land war in asia? A lot of you said "Vizzini", from the Princess Bride, and I'll admit that I thought of this question when I wrote the one about the MLT, but Vizzini was not a general and he did not say this first. "General Douglas MacArthur" was the correct answer. Congratulations once again to today's Big Winners! Stay tuned for today's DQ, which will be a DQ Classic! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/19/98 Date: Fri, 20 Feb 1998 09:26:36 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/19/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: HEATHER BRAUN STEPHAN DIAMOND JANET FORD and LINDA HERING!!!!!! Each of these contestants will be receiving... A HAPPY FUN BALL!!!! "Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs: * Itching * Vertigo * Dizziness * Tingling in extremities * Loss of balance or coordination * Slurred speech * Temporary blindness * Profuse Sweating or * Heart palpitations If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee. (announcer) Happy Fun Ball! Accept no substitutes!" (Old SNL commercial Parody. Hoo! Love that one.) 1. What is the mandatory deduction for a fall in figure skating? (And you know what? The more you complaing about figure skating questions, the more figure skating questions ye shall see. Bwah-ha-ha-ha!) "$17.00" - JP XENAKIS My Pappy raised me to believe that it was a .4 deduction, but some of you, like JOHN HERING, said stuff like, "Depends on the jump and the program, but assuming we are talking about a fall while attempting a mandatory jump during the short program (a la Nicole Bobek last night) the deduction is 0.4." (Editor's Note: Fag.) 2. Who was the only relatively constant female influence in young Eddie's life on "The Courtship of Eddie's Father"? "Bruce, Eddie's Figure skating buddy" - CHRIS BLILEY (minus 6 points for bashing the great sport of figure skating.) "Mrs. Moaner, his sex-ed teacher." - JP XENAKIS "Rosey Palmer" - MICHAEL HYLTON "Ashley James, Penthouse Pet of the Month, June 1975." - JON DAVID Worst Answer: "Is that a TV show or something?" - NATE RIPPEL (I weep for the future.) A lot of you came oh-so close with: "Their Asian housekeeper." Or, as PAUL SCHISHLER said, "That yummy japanese lady." But I believe HEATHER BRAUN was the only one to get her name. "Mrs. Livingston." Rock on, Heather! 3. What resort city has a big-ass statue of Jesus overlooking it? Rio de Janeiro (DQ Fun Fact: The English translation is "River de Janeiro".) 4. What was Eva Perone's occupation before she married Juan? The most popular answers were: "Actress" "Lounge Singer" "Prostitute" "Seamstress" and "Radio Personality" Hell, I never saw the movie, but I always thought she was just an actress. You got points for any of the above, though, cuz I don't want to raise your dander. I could *not* accept: "Postmaster General" - CABE FRANKLIN "White House Intern" - Bunches of you "Coffee Grinder" - GREG HYLTON or "Coffee Bean Picker" - PAUL SCHISHLER 5. What former Partridge said in response to claims that stardom messed up his life, "Hey, I'd have been a screwed up plumber."? "Danny Bonaduce, who, by the way, was found cowering in his closet by the Phoenix Police after he beat up a prostitute that was a man but he didn't know it until after he buggered him." - MICHAEL ROLFES So what's Danny doing now? Our man in Detroit, PAUL SCHISHLER tells us: "He is now in Detroit hosting the number one rated morning drive show. Married Gretchen on their first date. Recently had daughter born and may be expecting again according to rumors." 6. In the movie The Princess Bride, Miracle Max claims that true love is the greatest thing in the world EXCEPT for one thing. What is it? "A nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky." 7. Saddam Hussein fancies himself the second coming of what ancient king of Babylon? Nebuchadnezzar 8. What religion brought the world the Inquisition? Catholicism 9. Name one non-human who occupied a square on "Hollywood Squares"? "Alf" - Tons of you. "Madame" - Bunch of ya. "Shadow Stevens" - JERRY HELISEK 10. What general warned us never to get involved in a land war in asia? A lot of you said "Vizzini", from the Princess Bride, and I'll admit that I thought of this question when I wrote the one about the MLT, but Vizzini was not a general and he did not say this first. "General Douglas MacArthur" was the correct answer. Congratulations once again to today's Big Winners! Stay tuned for today's DQ, which will be a DQ Classic! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/20/98 Date: Mon, 23 Feb 1998 11:41:28 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/20/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: JOHN BRENCE PAT GEORGE KATE KIRKPATRICK SONIA BRIGHT, HER ROOMMATE JEN AND SOME STONED BOYS IN HER HOUSE and MILLIE PERRINE!!!! Each of these contestants wins a Garden Weasel(r)! 1. Everyone knows that the 2nd Amendment protects us from having to play host to the 101st Airborne in our home, but who played Willis Drummond's girlfriend? I got a couple answers like "Huh?", but I see nothing confusing about this question. Janet Jackson played the part of Willis' girlfriend, Charlene. 2. Alice has had a very hard day at Mel's Diner and goes home to beat her son with a lug wrench. When he comes out of the coma twelve years later, how will the attending physician address him? (I'm looking for the kid's name here.) Tommy. If I wanted to be really strict here I would not accept answers of "Phillip McKeon". And guess what, I *do* want to be really strict, HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! The question called for the character's name, not the actor. 3. What does the "C" stand for in Einstein's Theory of Relativity? The speed of light. 4. You are making out with your date on the pier in Norfolk. You start getting a little aggressive, and he/she tells you to stop. Just then, you see in the harbor a US Navy ship with an ID painted on the side that starts with "CVN". What kind of ship is it and how is it powered? Best Wrong Answer: "solar powered submarine" - SHANE SLEIGHTER Worst Answer: "CARDIOVASCULAR NEUROTRANSMISSION BY THE POWER OF LOVE" - STONED BOYS Correct Answer: Nuclear Powered Aircraft Carrier. (CVN stands for "Carrier Vessel Nuclear") 5. What New York City museum was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright? The Guggenheim 6. What sport is former Olympic swimmer Duke Kahanamoku considered the father of? Surfing 7. How did Ferris Bueller get his girlfriend out of school? Hell, everybody knew this one. 8. What are those ink blot tests called? Rorschach tests 9. What did the Hollywood sign originally read? Best Wrong Answer: "IT CANT READ, ITS A SIGN" - THOSE DAMN STONERS AGAIN. Correct Answer: "Hollywoodland" 10. When Marco Polo established a route to the far east he discovered, among other things, Samurai warriors who played a game similar to soccer with the heads of their enemies. Is this true or did I pull it out of my ass? This came straight from my tucas. Looking at the answers from July, I noticed that a few people pointed out that Samurai are Japanese and Marco Polo went to China. Nobody this time around pointed that out. Hmmm... Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/20/98 Date: Mon, 23 Feb 1998 11:41:28 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/20/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: JOHN BRENCE PAT GEORGE KATE KIRKPATRICK SONIA BRIGHT, HER ROOMMATE JEN AND SOME STONED BOYS IN HER HOUSE and MILLIE PERRINE!!!! Each of these contestants wins a Garden Weasel(r)! 1. Everyone knows that the 2nd Amendment protects us from having to play host to the 101st Airborne in our home, but who played Willis Drummond's girlfriend? I got a couple answers like "Huh?", but I see nothing confusing about this question. Janet Jackson played the part of Willis' girlfriend, Charlene. 2. Alice has had a very hard day at Mel's Diner and goes home to beat her son with a lug wrench. When he comes out of the coma twelve years later, how will the attending physician address him? (I'm looking for the kid's name here.) Tommy. If I wanted to be really strict here I would not accept answers of "Phillip McKeon". And guess what, I *do* want to be really strict, HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! The question called for the character's name, not the actor. 3. What does the "C" stand for in Einstein's Theory of Relativity? The speed of light. 4. You are making out with your date on the pier in Norfolk. You start getting a little aggressive, and he/she tells you to stop. Just then, you see in the harbor a US Navy ship with an ID painted on the side that starts with "CVN". What kind of ship is it and how is it powered? Best Wrong Answer: "solar powered submarine" - SHANE SLEIGHTER Worst Answer: "CARDIOVASCULAR NEUROTRANSMISSION BY THE POWER OF LOVE" - STONED BOYS Correct Answer: Nuclear Powered Aircraft Carrier. (CVN stands for "Carrier Vessel Nuclear") 5. What New York City museum was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright? The Guggenheim 6. What sport is former Olympic swimmer Duke Kahanamoku considered the father of? Surfing 7. How did Ferris Bueller get his girlfriend out of school? Hell, everybody knew this one. 8. What are those ink blot tests called? Rorschach tests 9. What did the Hollywood sign originally read? Best Wrong Answer: "IT CANT READ, ITS A SIGN" - THOSE DAMN STONERS AGAIN. Correct Answer: "Hollywoodland" 10. When Marco Polo established a route to the far east he discovered, among other things, Samurai warriors who played a game similar to soccer with the heads of their enemies. Is this true or did I pull it out of my ass? This came straight from my tucas. Looking at the answers from July, I noticed that a few people pointed out that Samurai are Japanese and Marco Polo went to China. Nobody this time around pointed that out. Hmmm... Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/23/98 Date: Tue, 24 Feb 1998 11:11:49 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/23/98 by Dave George Mornin', there, lil' trooper! I hope you're well-rested and ready to tackle another day of trivia fun! Get your search engine warmed up! Before we get into today's winners I'd like to introduce a very special new contestant. DEBORAH DENHAM! Deborah is a JMU alumnus who used to live a couple doors down from me in Forest Hills. She and her roommates were kind enough to always let me and some fraternity brothers use their deck from which to fire our potato cannon. You just don't forget that kind of generosity. Deborah also holds the distinction of having made it all the way through JMU without ever having hooked up with yours truly. How did she do that? I know, right?? Go figure. Anyway, she is now a consultant at Anderson, where she works with mainframes and COBOL. In her spare time she enjoys fishing, reading and firing potato cannons. Welcome aboard, Deborah!! Today's Big Winners: CHRIS BLILEY ROB BUCKANAVAGE NATE RIPPEL and REBECCA SYSKO!!!! Each of these contestants wins a laurel and hearty handshake. Way to go!!! 1. What are the targets called in skeet shooting? "clay dingles" - ELISSA JACKSON (Very, very close.) The correct answer is "Clay pigeons". I also accepted "Clays", "Pigeons" and "trap". 2. In the movie My Cousin Vinny, what three items were listed on the menu at the diner where Vinny and Lisa ate breakfast? Best Wrong Answer: "Mutton, Lettuce and Tomato" - SCOTT BAGER Correct Answer: "Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner" 3. Who was the head of Hitler's Luftwaffe? Hermann Goering 4. Who sang the National Anthem at this weekend's GM Goodwrench Service Plus 400 NASCAR race? (Hey, we gotta let the rednecks get one every now and then.) Darn near all of you said either Shania Twain or LeAnn Rimes. The correct answer is Billy Ray Cyrus. I also accepted SCOTT BAGER's answer, "Cletus, the slack jawed yokel", cuz that's pretty much the same thing. ALSO: Extra credit was awarded to anyone who said "Enrico Pallazzo", cuz that's a damn fine answer. 5. OK, this is a repeat question from last summer, but as long as we're talking about rednecks, who are The Three Kings? Richard Petty - King of NASCAR Elvis Presley - King of Rock & Roll and Budweiser - King of Beers 6. Finish this sentence: "Love means..." Yeah, I guess "...never having to say you're sorry." is a nice answer, but here are some good ones, too. "...giving up golf." - JIM CLARK "...intimate relations between a man and a woman, or a man and two women, or a man and many women." - JOEY RUSSO "Love is someone you can relate to. Staying up with her all night long, listening to what she has to say and never even dreaming of interrupting. Love is interesting and informative, she can be erotic, funny and endlessly fascinating. Love comes in many different sizes, however, most males prefer the 27" version with picture in picture." - SHANE SLEIGHTER The coveted Oh Bless Your Heart award goes to BILL PORTER for his answer: "Love means nothing, apparently, when your supposedly devoted fiance decides that she just needs some time and you're forced to reevaluate your entire station in life." 7. What did they dump on Carrie at the prom? Pig's blood. 8. What is the medical term for plastic surgery performed on the nose? Rhinoplasty 9. Why do Sumo wrestlers clap before the start of a match? To wake up the gods. A lot of you got this one. 10. You've just crashed a reunion party for the cast of an early 80's TV show. Hey, there's Sarah Purcell and Byron Allen sucking face in the corner! There's Peter Billingsley doing what appears to be an unhealthy amount of coke! Whoa! Mark Russell just punched out Fred Willard! What show was this? And who is missing and why? The show is "Real People". The person missing is Skip Stephenson, because he has since kicked the oxygen habit. Congratulations again to our Big Winners! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/23/98 Date: Tue, 24 Feb 1998 11:11:49 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/23/98 by Dave George Mornin', there, lil' trooper! I hope you're well-rested and ready to tackle another day of trivia fun! Get your search engine warmed up! Before we get into today's winners I'd like to introduce a very special new contestant. DEBORAH DENHAM! Deborah is a JMU alumnus who used to live a couple doors down from me in Forest Hills. She and her roommates were kind enough to always let me and some fraternity brothers use their deck from which to fire our potato cannon. You just don't forget that kind of generosity. Deborah also holds the distinction of having made it all the way through JMU without ever having hooked up with yours truly. How did she do that? I know, right?? Go figure. Anyway, she is now a consultant at Anderson, where she works with mainframes and COBOL. In her spare time she enjoys fishing, reading and firing potato cannons. Welcome aboard, Deborah!! Today's Big Winners: CHRIS BLILEY ROB BUCKANAVAGE NATE RIPPEL and REBECCA SYSKO!!!! Each of these contestants wins a laurel and hearty handshake. Way to go!!! 1. What are the targets called in skeet shooting? "clay dingles" - ELISSA JACKSON (Very, very close.) The correct answer is "Clay pigeons". I also accepted "Clays", "Pigeons" and "trap". 2. In the movie My Cousin Vinny, what three items were listed on the menu at the diner where Vinny and Lisa ate breakfast? Best Wrong Answer: "Mutton, Lettuce and Tomato" - SCOTT BAGER Correct Answer: "Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner" 3. Who was the head of Hitler's Luftwaffe? Hermann Goering 4. Who sang the National Anthem at this weekend's GM Goodwrench Service Plus 400 NASCAR race? (Hey, we gotta let the rednecks get one every now and then.) Darn near all of you said either Shania Twain or LeAnn Rimes. The correct answer is Billy Ray Cyrus. I also accepted SCOTT BAGER's answer, "Cletus, the slack jawed yokel", cuz that's pretty much the same thing. ALSO: Extra credit was awarded to anyone who said "Enrico Pallazzo", cuz that's a damn fine answer. 5. OK, this is a repeat question from last summer, but as long as we're talking about rednecks, who are The Three Kings? Richard Petty - King of NASCAR Elvis Presley - King of Rock & Roll and Budweiser - King of Beers 6. Finish this sentence: "Love means..." Yeah, I guess "...never having to say you're sorry." is a nice answer, but here are some good ones, too. "...giving up golf." - JIM CLARK "...intimate relations between a man and a woman, or a man and two women, or a man and many women." - JOEY RUSSO "Love is someone you can relate to. Staying up with her all night long, listening to what she has to say and never even dreaming of interrupting. Love is interesting and informative, she can be erotic, funny and endlessly fascinating. Love comes in many different sizes, however, most males prefer the 27" version with picture in picture." - SHANE SLEIGHTER The coveted Oh Bless Your Heart award goes to BILL PORTER for his answer: "Love means nothing, apparently, when your supposedly devoted fiance decides that she just needs some time and you're forced to reevaluate your entire station in life." 7. What did they dump on Carrie at the prom? Pig's blood. 8. What is the medical term for plastic surgery performed on the nose? Rhinoplasty 9. Why do Sumo wrestlers clap before the start of a match? To wake up the gods. A lot of you got this one. 10. You've just crashed a reunion party for the cast of an early 80's TV show. Hey, there's Sarah Purcell and Byron Allen sucking face in the corner! There's Peter Billingsley doing what appears to be an unhealthy amount of coke! Whoa! Mark Russell just punched out Fred Willard! What show was this? And who is missing and why? The show is "Real People". The person missing is Skip Stephenson, because he has since kicked the oxygen habit. Congratulations again to our Big Winners! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/24/98 Date: Wed, 25 Feb 1998 10:27:43 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/24/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: CHRIS BLILEY JOHN HERING DAVE MARIA and AMY MACPHERSON!!! These contestants will receive a copy of the Pulitzer Prize-winning coffee table book "A Day in the Life of Wisconsin". Way to go!!!! 1. In Driver's Ed we had to watch a series of movies from the 1960's which centered around the "IPDE Strategy" of driving. What did IPDE stand for? Identify Predict Decide and Execute My brother, Paul, said that I was wrong on this one, and that it's actually "SIPDE", with the "S" for "Scan". But that's not what they had in the movies we watched, so the question is super-duper correct! Kudos to PATRICK SOLOMON for telling me that he actually found the answer on the web at the Jim Thorpe High School Driver's Ed program. I noticed that many contestants who went to Robinson with me didn't get this question right. At first I thought they must not have paid very close attention in class, but then I remembered the words of Mr. Miyagi who said, "There's no such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." Then I remembered that our driver's ed teacher was later busted for cocaine. True story. Now that I think about it, he did talk awfully fast. 2. What was the name of that fella from the West Coast whom Gerald Ford defeated in the 1976 Republican Presidential Primary? Ronald Reagan (And if you watched the awesome 2-part documentary on Reagan Monday and Tuesday night, you'll be getting more of these questions correct this week.) 3. What sports figure said "Don't give up, don't ever give up!"? Jim Valvano To hear or read Jimmy V's famous Espy Awards speech, go here: http://www.jimmyv.org/speech2.html 4. Why did Jack Tripper have to pretend he was gay? Heck, everyone knew this one. 5. What is the term given to a spy who is deeply planted within an organization, usually an enemy intelligence organization? I was looking for "Mole", but I also accepted "Double agent". 6. What is the speed of light in diamond which has n = 2.42 ? Some of you attempted to answer this one, but all of your equations were pitifully flawed. Not a single one of you took into accout Bernouli's Principle and only MICHAEL ROLFES remembered that the ratio of the angle of incidence to the angle of refraction is a constant. I mean, christ, didn't I cover this extensively in lecture?? 7. Just kidding. DAVE MARIA earned *TRIPLE* points with the following fantastic answer: "Vicki the robot, from the sitcom "Small Wonder" (I know there wasn't really a question for #7, but I always hoped that would be one of the answers, so I figured now was as good a time as any to throw it in.)" 6. Complete the lyrics AND name the artist AND the song: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Electric word, 'life'. It means forever, and that's a mighty long time. But I'm here to tell you, there's something else: _____ __________." "The afterworld." Prince "Let's Go Crazy" 7. What is the name for the worldwide system of navigational satellites? GPS (Lt. SCOTT BAGER, US Army Signal Corps, who was also a Geographic Information Systems major at Michigan State, says that it stands for Global Positioning satellite navigation System.) There were a couple other answers, like "Navstar" and stuff, but I ain't know nothin' 'bout them. 8. When Getty Lee sings "And the magic music makes your morning mood" what literary device is he employing? Thank you sooooooo much to those of you who pointed out that his name is actually spelled "Geddy". The correct answer here is "Alliteration". SCOTT BAGER remembered one of my favorite scenes from the movie Broadcast News, where Albert Brooks is drinking tequila while jealously watching his rival, William Hurt, anchor the weekend news for the first time: Hurt: "The Pentagon has seen massive movement of military might." Brooks: "Whoa! A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!" Great movie. 9. What military dictator was called "Pineapple Face"? Noriega 10. What's the call when a batter hits a ball which bounces off an outfielder's head and over the wall? Home Run. Many of you pointed out that this happened to Jose Canseco. Frankly, I wouldn't know. I only watch baseball when I go to an O's game, and I do not remember a single thing that has ever happened on the field at one of the myriad O's game I have gone to, as I am always drunker than a lab monkey. I *do* remember getting blasted and then reporting myself missing so that I could get my name up on the Jumbotron. And I also remember running into Tim Russert, from "Meet the Press", and telling him all about it. Me: "Tim!" Tim: "oh jesus" Me: "Tim! Tim, I got my name up on the Jumbotron today!" Tim: "Hey, congratulations." Me: "Aww, c'mon, don't humor me! I'm SERIOUS!!" Tim: "No, no, I mean it, way to go!" Me: "OK, thanks. Hey! We gotta take a picture! Where's Al Hering??" (And we have a great picture of this.) Anyway, sorry for the digression. Congratulations to our Big Winners!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/25/98 Date: Thu, 26 Feb 1998 10:55:51 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/25/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: ELISSA JACKSON JP XENAKIS SCOTT BAGER MICHAEL HYLTON and LEETO TLOU!!!!! Each of these contestants will receive a Rubik's Cube and a box of Nerds cereal. (Had the two flavors in two separate sides of the box.) Way to go!!! ********THE EIGHTIES EDITION********** 1. Who did the Contras fight? The Sandinistas. 2. What was the name of the controversial nuclear weapon that contained 10 warheads in a single missile? Some people said "MIRV" (Multiple Independently targeted Re-entry Vehicle), which is the TYPE of missile, but I was looking for the NAME of the missile, which was the MX. 3. Who led Poland's Solidarity movement? Lech Walesa (prounced "Balesa", but with a "W".) 4. What charity concert did Bob Geldof organize? Live Aid. Ah, who can forget this global event? Remember Phil Collins performing in Wembley, then hopping on the Concorde and performing again in Philadelphia? I was like, "Damn, we didn't watch your performance the first time." For you youngsters who don't remember this, it was two "Mega Concerts" performed simultaneously in England and the U.S. to raise money for the relief effort in Ethiopia. It was supposed to be the biggest event of 1985. But I remember it as being kind of boring. Except for U2. (It was also the first time most of us ever heard Madonna sing live and we all realized that she could not sing.) I found the lineup of performers on the web. The times are all UK time. (Wembley) 2:02 Status Quo (Wembley) 2:19 Style Council (Wembley) 2:44 Boomtown Rats (Wembley) 3:00 Adam Ant 13:06 INXS (video from Melbourne) (Wembley) 3:16 Ultravox 13:34 Loudness (video from Japan) (Wembley) 3:47 Spandau Ballet 13:51 Bernard Watson (Philly) 14:02 Joan Baez (Philly) (Wembley) 4:07 Elvis Costello 4:10 The Hooters (Philly) 4:10 Opus (video from Austria) (Wembley) 4:22 Nik Kershaw 14:32 The Four Tops (Philly) 4:38 B.B. King (video from The Hague) 4:45 Billy Ocean (Philly) 14:52 Ozzy Osbourne/Black Sabbath (Philly) (Wembley) 4:55 Sade 5:12 Run DMC (Philly) 5:12 Yu Rock Mission (video from Belgrade) (Wembley) 5:18 Sting 15:27 Rick Springfield (Philly) (Wembley) 5:27 Phil Collins 15:47 REO Speedwagon (Philly) (Wembley) 5:50 Howard Jones 15:55 Autograph (video from Moscow) (Wembley) 6:07 Bryan Ferry 16:07 Crosby, Stills and Nash (Philly) 6:24 Udo Lindenberg (video from Cologne) 6:26 Judas Priest (Philly) (Wembley) 6:38 Paul Young (Wembley) 6:48 Paul Young / Alison Moyet (Wembley) 7:00 Linkup between UK and US (Philly) 7:02 Bryan Adams (Philly) (Wembley) 7:20 U2 17:40 Beach Boys (Philly) (Wembley) 8:00 Dire Straits / Sting 8:26 George Thorogood and the Destroyers / Bo Diddley / Albert Collins (Philly) (Wembley) 8:44 Queen 19:03 David Bowie / Mick Jagger (prerecorded video) 9:07 Simple Minds (Philly) (Wembley) 9:22 David Bowie 19:41 The Pretenders (Philly) (Wembley) 20:00 The Who 20:20 Santana / Pat Metheny (Philly) (Wembley) 20:50 Elton John 20:57 Ashford & Simpson / Teddy Pendergrass (Philly) (Wembley) 21:05 Elton John / Kiki Dee (Wembley) 21:09 Elton John / Kiki Dee / Wham! 21:30 Madonna (Philly) (Wembley) 21:48 Freddie Mercury / Brian May (Wembley) 21:51 Paul McCartney (Wembley) 21:54 Paul McCartney / David Bowie / Pete Townshend / Alison Moyet / Bob Geldof (Wembley) 21:56 UK Finale 22:14 Tom Petty (Philly) 22:30 Kenny Loggins (Philly) 22:49 The Cars (Philly) 23:07 Neil Young (Philly) 23:43 Power Station (Philly) 00:21 Thompson Twins (Philly) 0:39 Eric Clapton (Philly) 1:04 Phil Collins (Philly) 1:13 Robert Plant / Jimmy Page / John Paul Jones (Philly) 1:47 Duran Duran (Philly) 02:15 Patti LaBelle (Philly) 2:50 Hall & Oates / Eddie Kendricks / David Ruffin (Philly) 3:15 Mick Jagger (Philly) 03:28 Mick Jagger / Tina Turner (Philly) 03:39 Bob Dylan / Keith Richards / Ron Wood (Philly) 03:55 US Finale (Philly) 5. Who was former Secretary of the Interior, James Watt, refering to when he said that the band scheduled to play on the mall on July 4th, 1984 was "un-American"? The Beach Boys Kudos to the few of you who threw in the line about "A black, two Jews and a cripple.", cuz that's what Watt said to describe one of his committees. 6. Name three One Hit Wonders from the 80's. Ooh, we got tons. Too many to list each person's name who submitted them. T'Pau The Buggles Nena Katrina and the Waves The Vapors Kajagoogoo Greg Kinn Band Dream Academy Soft Cell Stacy Q Toni Basil Eddie Murphy Rockwell Dexie's Midnight Runners A-ha UTFO Haircut 100 Flock of Seagulls Eric Carmen If you see someone up there who doesn't belong, by all means tell me ASAP. I could not accept Tiffany with "I Think We're Alone Now", because Tiffany had many, many wonderful hits, including "All This Time" from her breakthrough album "Hold an Old Friend's Hand", which, as SCOTT BAGER can testify to, I actually owned while in the Army. (We think it was an adverse reaction to the salt peter.) Could not accept Falco, either. Besides "Rock Me Amadeus", he had a couple other minor hits. Actually, I'm not really sure about that. But didn't he do "Vienna Calling" and "Nineteen"? ("In Vietnam the average age was nineteen- nuh-nuh-nuh-nineteen, nineteen.") Wasn't that him? Also did not accept The Georgia Satellites. Besides that one "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" tune, they had a really good song called "Battleship Chains". ("You got me tiyeeeed dooown with battleship chains. Fifty foot long and a two-ton anchor.") Sounds like them boys got theyselves a fear of commitment. 7. What was the name of the "realistic" 1983 made-for-TV movie that freaked-out the entire country about nuclear devastation in a small town? The Day After 8. What is the White Zone for? "Loading and unloading only." Many of you got this one, because many of you have seen Airplane more times than you've been to church. (I'm not judging, I think that's a good thing.) Note to CHRIS BLILEY: Yes, I'm serious, and stop calling me Shirley. 9. Who lost his leg to cancer then ran across Canada, raising tens of millions of dollars for cancer research before dying? Yes, I suppose if they had combined him with Lt. Dan then "Forrest Gump" would have been a good answer. But I was looking for Terry Fox. I am ashamed to admit that I first learned of this guy when I read a Playboy Playmate's profile who, besides hating pushy people, admired Terry Fox. 10. Who was the German lad who flew his little airplane across the Soviet Union, evading all their defenses and landed in the middle of Red Square? Matthias Rust. I agree with TRIP MORANO that this was just damn hysterical. Slightly less funny is the number of Red Air Force personnel who were shot because of this. (Still kinda funny, though.) 11. Please supply the punchline to this tasteless Challenger joke: (and by all means, please share your favorite joke.) What was the last thing Christa McAuliffe said to her kids? "Clean your room before I explode!" - BIRGITT TANGERMANN "Hey kids, don't forget to pick me up at Daytona!" - JANET FORD "I'll be back in a flash" - NATE RIPPEL "Be back in a bit." - PAT GEORGE "I'm going to the beach to wash up." - TRIP KIRKPATRICK Only TRIP MORANO, JAMES MALONEY, ROB BUCKANAVAGE and JOHN HERING got the actual punchline to this great joke! "You feed the dog, I'll feed the fish." Other Jokes: "Did you hear she had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders on the beach." - CHRIS BLILEY "Why did NASA provide the Challenger with Sprite? 'Cause they can't keep 7Up." - ELISSA JACKSON "How many Challenger astronauts can fit into a Subaru? 12, 2 in the fromt, 3 in the back, and 7 in the ashtray" - LISA FLINT "What does NASA stand for? - Need Another Seven Astronauts" - MATT YOUNG, ROBERT GRIMMER "Where did Christa take her vacation? all over Florida." - MICHAEL ROLFES And the Worst Joke Award goes to...SARA BRADLEY!!! "What was Christa McAuliffe's favorite color? Nevermind. I know it had something to do with the "blue/blew" hominym, but now I can't remember it. Oh, well. Sorry." Don't try to tell this one at work. It's all in the way she tells it. NOTE: A couple of you said it's not funny to make jokes about tragedy. Perhaps not in your native Russia, ya pinko commie, but this is America and it *IS* funny. 12. Name the leeetle babeee who fell down the well. (Bart Simpson quotes welcome, but also give the real kid's name.) Jessica McClure (Who just proves my point above.) "We're sending our love down the well" - PAT GEORGE "John, we've found a squirrel that looks exactly like Abe Lincoln!" "Now that's REAL news!" - SHANE SLEIGHTER 13. Who was Brendan Sullivan representing when he snapped "I'm not a potted plant here!" after being rebuked for whispering in his clients ear? Ollie North 14. What do Terry Anderson, Terry Waite and William Higgins have in common? They were a few of our hostages in Beirut. (I did accept the many answers of "They are three people who have never been in my kitchen.", because I always felt that Alex should have accepted it when Cliff used it.) 15. What toy was "More than meets the eye!"? Transformers Phew! Great job, kids! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/26/98 Date: Fri, 27 Feb 1998 09:34:18 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/26/98 by Dave George Thanks to TRIP KIRKPATRICK for finding out who really sang "19". It wasn't Falco after all, but rather Paul Hardcastle. Today's Big Winners: KOREN GOUTOS KARL ROTHMAN WILLIAM WALLACE and MATT YOUNG!! These contestants will receive a delicious onion bagel, toasted, with scallion cream cheese and tomato. Way to go!! 1. Which female award-winner had the hairiest armpits at last night's Grammy's? Great Answer: "Paula Cole - her next song will be 'Where have all the razors gone?'" - LINDA HERING Very Good Wrong Answer: "Zak Hanson" - HARRIS KAY Jay Leno said last night, "I think I've figured out why the cowboys haven't been coming around." 2. Where did Michael Jordan go to college? The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill 3. Where will you find the Hillary Step and Khumba Ice Fall? Mt. Everest JOHN BIRKHOFFER asked a very good question: "Isn't the Khumba Ice Fall the dance from Can't Buy Me Love?" That was actually the African Anteater Ritual, John, but thank you for reminding us of a very groovin' dance, what with the weekend upon us and all. 4. Which order of angels is associated with the chubby, winged children in old paintings? Cherub or Cherubim (I think the latter is plural.) 5. What color was the big "A" which Hester Prynne had to wear? Thank you for all your answers like, "Scarlet, DUH!!!" Ya know, ya try to throw out an easy one to quell the bitchin'... 6. The asymetrical shape of a wing creates what force? Lift. 7. Give an example of a Catch-22. Do not get it from the web. Most everyone either said "Damned if you do. Damned if you don't." or gave examples of that statement. Like, "Bill will go to jail if he lies about Monica, but will get killed by Hillary if he doesn't." But this is not really a good definition of a Catch-22 as it was originally meant. Now, now, don't get hissy. I do *not* claim to know everything. Just more than you. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! Anyway. The term "Catch-22" comes from Joseph Heller's novel of the same name. I will admit to having read about half of the first chapter, then falling asleep. As I've always understood a Catch-22 to be, it's where the only solution to a problem is made impossible BECAUSE of the problem itself. (The condition preventing the solution refers back to the original problem.) BRANDY ABERNATHY, TRACY GOEBEL, MATT YOUNG, and a few others gave the classic example: "To get a job you have to have experience, but to get experience, someone has to give you a job." I like ELI KAILE'S example, too: "Too Hungy to sleep, and too tired to eat." An example from my own experience would be when I lived in L.A. everyone wanted to get a Screen Actors Guild (SAG) card, which you got by working a SAG job, which you could only get if you had a SAG card. HOWEVER, I think that from popular usage the "Damned if you do..." scenario has come to mean a Catch-22 (like the misuse of irony as coincidence) so I pretty much gave credit for anything, as I don't really want to get a lot of mail on a subject as boring as this. 8. Name two movies where Patrick Swayze appeared with Jennifer Grey. Red Dawn and Dirty Dancing 9. What was the objective of the "Super Mario Brothers" video game? Save the Princess. 10. Name a bar in the DC metro area that has karaoke. (I need to know this.) NATE RIPPEL said "Man, I *LOVE* karaoke!! I go to a karaoke bar at least three nights a week! Here are some of the better ones. I've ranked them by variety of songs and quality of sound (best to worst). Good luck! Call me if you need a singing partner, cuz I usually go by myself after my Alateen meetings." Theisman's Champions Peyote Cafe Whitey's Songbird Lulu's Scroople's Abbey Rhodes Tropix Studebaker's Ramparts Thanks Nate!! And congratulations once again to today's Big Winners!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/26/98 Date: Fri, 27 Feb 1998 10:37:33 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/26/98 by Dave George Thanks to TRIP KIRKPATRICK for finding out who really sang "19". It wasn't Falco after all, but rather Paul Hardcastle. Today's Big Winners: KOREN GOUTOS KARL ROTHMAN WILLIAM WALLACE and MATT YOUNG!! These contestants will receive a delicious onion bagel, toasted, with scallion cream cheese and tomato. Way to go!! 1. Which female award-winner had the hairiest armpits at last night's Grammy's? Great Answer: "Paula Cole - her next song will be 'Where have all the razors gone?'" - LINDA HERING Very Good Wrong Answer: "Zak Hanson" - HARRIS KAY Jay Leno said last night, "I think I've figured out why the cowboys haven't been coming around." 2. Where did Michael Jordan go to college? The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill 3. Where will you find the Hillary Step and Khumba Ice Fall? Mt. Everest JOHN BIRKHOFFER asked a very good question: "Isn't the Khumba Ice Fall the dance from Can't Buy Me Love?" That was actually the African Anteater Ritual, John, but thank you for reminding us of a very groovin' dance, what with the weekend upon us and all. 4. Which order of angels is associated with the chubby, winged children in old paintings? Cherub or Cherubim (I think the latter is plural.) 5. What color was the big "A" which Hester Prynne had to wear? Thank you for all your answers like, "Scarlet, DUH!!!" Ya know, ya try to throw out an easy one to quell the bitchin'... 6. The asymetrical shape of a wing creates what force? Lift. 7. Give an example of a Catch-22. Do not get it from the web. Most everyone either said "Damned if you do. Damned if you don't." or gave examples of that statement. Like, "Bill will go to jail if he lies about Monica, but will get killed by Hillary if he doesn't." But this is not really a good definition of a Catch-22 as it was originally meant. Now, now, don't get hissy. I do *not* claim to know everything. Just more than you. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! Anyway. The term "Catch-22" comes from Joseph Heller's novel of the same name. I will admit to having read about half of the first chapter, then falling asleep. As I've always understood a Catch-22 to be, it's where the only solution to a problem is made impossible BECAUSE of the problem itself. (The condition preventing the solution refers back to the original problem.) BRANDY ABERNATHY, TRACY GOEBEL, MATT YOUNG, and a few others gave the classic example: "To get a job you have to have experience, but to get experience, someone has to give you a job." I like ELI KAILE'S example, too: "Too Hungy to sleep, and too tired to eat." An example from my own experience would be when I lived in L.A. everyone wanted to get a Screen Actors Guild (SAG) card, which you got by working a SAG job, which you could only get if you had a SAG card. HOWEVER, I think that from popular usage the "Damned if you do..." scenario has come to mean a Catch-22 (like the misuse of irony as coincidence) so I pretty much gave credit for anything, as I don't really want to get a lot of mail on a subject as boring as this. 8. Name two movies where Patrick Swayze appeared with Jennifer Grey. Red Dawn and Dirty Dancing 9. What was the objective of the "Super Mario Brothers" video game? Save the Princess. 10. Name a bar in the DC metro area that has karaoke. (I need to know this.) NATE RIPPEL said "Man, I *LOVE* karaoke!! I go to a karaoke bar at least three nights a week! Here are some of the better ones. I've ranked them by variety of songs and quality of sound (best to worst). Good luck! Call me if you need a singing partner, cuz I usually go by myself after my Alateen meetings." Theisman's Champions Peyote Cafe Whitey's Songbird Lulu's Scroople's Abbey Rhodes Tropix Studebaker's Ramparts Thanks Nate!! And congratulations once again to today's Big Winners!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 02/27/98 Date: Mon, 02 Mar 1998 09:21:15 -0500 The Daily Answers 02/27/98 by Dave George Well, not really by me. These are all SHARON PRESLEY'S answers. And in response to your many requests, I promise never, ever to leave you in the hands of an amateur again. Today's Big Winners: LAURA COLOMBELL ED DUNNINGTON AMY SIEBERKROB and SEAN KENNEALY!!! Each of these contestants wins six bucks. 1. Who was the doorman on Rhoda? Sharon Presley> Carlton; now does the voice for Garfield cartoons (Personal note, I hated this show and never watched it all the way through, but that is the easiest question!) 2. On I Love Lucy who gave Little Ricky his first bongo drum? Sharon Presley> Big Ricky's Uncle Alberto. The drum was actually Big Ricky's when he was a Little Ricky. 3. On Laverne & Shirley, what was the name of Shirley's favorite stuffed animal? Sharon Presley> Boo Boo Kitty; she slept with this dang thing more than she slept with the Big Ragu 4. On Happy Days, as a publicity stunt in front of Arnold's, Fonzi jumped over how many garbage cans? Sharon Presley> 14; ok, this was a tough one, I should have just asked what he jumped over! 5. What was the name of the Waltons' dog? Sharon Presley> Reckless 6. On the Wonder Years, Karen married Michael and the family hosted a backyard BBQ reception. Who played the part of Michael? Sharon Presley> David Schwimmer; I just caught this repeat on Nick-At-Night! 7. Who played the part of Maury's daughter on the Mary Tyler Moore Show? Sharon Presley> Helen Hunt, recently nominated for an Academy Award 8. Buffy and Jody lived in NYC with Uncle Bill and their housekeeper. Name the show. Sharon Presley> Family Affair; just the cutest little show ever. The most appauling thing was how frequently the two youngsters were out in NYC without adult supervison. Even if you didn't watch it, you had to have heard when the girl "kicked the oxygen habit" with a drug overdose! 9. What was the name of Gloria Bunker's husband? Sharon Presley> Michael or Michael Stivic for a bonus point 10. What is Fonzi's real name? Sharon Presley> Arthur or Arthur Fonzarelli for a bonus point ***REMEMBER: These are all Sharon's answers. I will entertain no emails on the subject! Your pal, Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/02/98 Date: Tue, 03 Mar 1998 07:09:20 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/02/98 by Dave George Remember our "IPDE" driving strategy question a few days ago where somebody found the answer at the Jim Thorpe High School web page? Well, seems that MEGHAN DOTTER'S dad actually *went* to Jim Thorpe High School, and (dig this) has *never* gotten a ticket for any kind of moving violation! In honor of the fine job JTHS is doing training our young people to drive, Today's Big Winner is... MRS. JANE HALENAR!!!! Jane is the school nurse at JTHS. Mrs. Halenar, an alumna of the Jim Thorpe Area School District, graduated from The Reading Hospital School of Nursing with a diploma degree and earned her bachelor degree from the College of St. Francis. Prior to becoming the school nurse in 1990, she had clinical experience in medical, surgical and psychiatric nursing. In addition to her duties as school nurse, Jane is a member of the Thorpe Student Assistance Team, Carbon County School Nurses, Jim Thorpe PTA, RHSN Alumni Association, and the School Nurse Section of the Pupil Services Division of PSEA. Diploma degree? Jane would like to pass along some health tips to all of us. "If you find that your child has head lice, it is extremely important that you notify the nurse promptly so that she can make sure that you are treating it properly and also to do whatever is indicated to get the condition under control as soon as possible. The Jim Thorpe Area School District has a No Nit Policy which means that your child cannot return to school unless his/her hair is free of nits (eggs) and has been treated effectively." You can read more about Jane and some other tips she has at http://www.jtasd.k12.pa.us/highschool/nurse/nurse1.html Jane wins a year's supply of Rid(r). Way to go, Jane!! 1. What's another name for exploring caves? Spelunking. I also accepted "caving", because ELISSA JACKSON says that nobody who actually explores caves really calls it spelunking. 2. Which state was first to secede from the union? South Carolina 3. In WWII, "GP's" (General Purpose vehicles) came to be more commonly known as what? Jeeps. I would like the two people who answered "Humvees" to please stand up. I mean, goddamn, I said WWII, didn't I?? 4. What country invented pizza? "New York" - SHANE SLEIGHTER The corrct answer is "The U.S." A couple people did some web research and came up with answers like this one, courtesy of DAVE ROGERS: "Pizza's origins are lost in the dim mist of antiquity. Rumors circulate that pizza was invented in New York City, but take no heed. Evidence suggests that pizza was brought to the United States of America by Italian immigrants. However, the historical record is unambiguous in this matter: Italians didn't invent the pizza. The Greeks, who maintained colonies in southern Italy for approximately 600 years (roughly from 730 B.C. to 130 B.C.) brought pizza to Italy with them. Ancient Greek written records confirm that the Greeks ate pizza. Though again, evidence suggests pizza had been imported from Asia Minor to Greece even earlier." Sorry, Dave, that's complete crap. How do I know this? Because I *LOVE* pizza. And I know in my heart that only the United States could have come up with a food so perfect. Greece? Asia Minor? The above piece (and it is a piece) was clearly written by a Greek or by an Asian Minor. Besides, I defy you to go to either Athens or Beijing and try to order a pizza at one o'clock in the morning. WITH garlic butter sauce. Case closed. 5. What is superheated liquid rock called when it is underground? Magma. A lot of you said "lava", but it's not lava until it comes out of the ground. 6. Who is the Norse god of thunder? Thor. 7. What is the tallest mountain in Africa? Kilimanjaro 7A. (Repeat Question, but I just love this one.) What was the second mountain surveyed in the Karakoram mountain range? K2 8. What device is used to measure radioactivity? (Hint: It's not Foliogrometer, cuz that's a word I just made up.) Geiger Counter. It's a device which gathers geigers. And then counts them. It then displays the exact (roughly) number of geigers it has gathered, thus telling you just how radioactive the area is. Deluxe models will tell you how long ago you should have run from the area in order to still have a shot at ever becoming a father. To be perfectly honest, the extent of my knowledge on this subject is limited to what I learned in one of my "Happy Hollisters" from 1975. See, seems the Hollisters were going to this park where there were rocks that had a certain amount of radioactivity...ah, story for another day, perhaps. 9. What show sucked worse, "Soap" or "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"? The hands-down winner here was "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman". Most of you said that you voted for it on the basis of never having heard of it. Count yourself lucky. It sucked. But "Soap" sucked too. 10. What breed of dog, named for a Canadian island, is known for rescuing swimmers? A *lot* of you said "Labrador Retriever", which is better than MIKE WAITE'S answer of "Chihuahua". The correct answer is "Newfoundland". Congratulations once again to MRS. JANE HALENAR! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/05/98 Date: Fri, 06 Mar 1998 09:09:37 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/05/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: JON DAVID CHRIS DESANTIS ALBERT OSTROWSKI and ROB WAGNER!!!! Each of these contestants will receive a 1990 Subaru Loyal station wagon. Way to go!! 1. What artifact is believed to hold the original Ten Commandments? Some people said "Noah's Ark". That's really, really close and you should stand tall and proud that you got it partially right. (Hey, it's important to encourage our "special" contestants.) The correct answer is "The Ark of the Covenant". Many of you pointed out that it is currently being housed in a giant government warehouse. Others noted sagely that Harrison Ford is a hunk. Just can't argue with BILL TYRRELL on that one, now can we? But while we're all in agreement that Harrison is yummy, I think we need to clarify the exact whereabouts of the Ark. Thing is, there are actually five of them, and they all are believed to reside in a small church in Scotland, buried deep within massive cement walls. (That is, if you believe the nutjob I was watching on the Discovery Channel the other night.) Fine Answer: "The Ark of the Covenant (unfortunately, what it contains is the Wrath of God in powdered form(r), that will melt your friggin body down unless you close your eyes and are American.)" - TRIP KIRKPATRICK 2. What's the German word for "Lightning Warfare"? "Blitzkrieg" 3. What car is currently being marketed under "The muscle car lives."? GEORGE PATCH got one bonus point for combining a correct answer with a classified add: (This is a one-time thing, so don't try it.) "My Trans-Am. It is a '79, Red with tinted t-tops. 403 engine, Auto, AC. 173K miles some rust but otherwise in good shape. $2000 I also have a '90 Subaru Loyal on the market under "The station wagon lives". It is indeed a wagon with 4wd, AC, PW, PDL, Auto. 86K miles. Was in last weekend's Post for $3,800 but as a one time special to your readers I'll let it go for $2995." To take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime offer, you can email George at: patchg@bah.com 4. In the following sentence identify the preposition: "My car ran over the cat, and I was all--'Keee-rist! Did you see that?'." A lot of you said "over the cat", but that's the prepositional phrase. The preposition is just "over". 5. Name the movie: "Why'd you kill my buh-ruthuh? He was my oooonly buh-ruthuh." Ooh, toughie! The correct answer is "Hollywood Shuffle". JON DAVID was the *ONLY* one to get this!! 6. Which one of the One-Hit-Wonders mentioned in the DQ last week just died? Falco. Falco, we hardly knew ye. (I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, either.) For the record, Falco was not really a One-Hit-Wonder. Many of you indignantly wrote to say that he had two or three hits. This was all duly documented in the OHW quiz last week, but my question yesterday *was* worded poorly. 7. What was the creepy name of Mr. Rogers' mailman? Correct Answer: "Mr. McFeely" First name: "Touchy" (I think.) 8. What did two American athletes do while receiving their medals at the 1968 Olympics to get themselves kicked out? A majority of the incorrect answers were stuff like "Made out" or "Mooned the audience". You are, of course, confusing these guys with Nancy Kerrigan and Oksana Baiul in '94. Correct Answer: Black power salute. 9. Complete this quote from Ronald Reagan, said during his weekly radio broadcast without realizing that he was on the air: "I have just signed legislation outlawing Russia forever..." "...we begin bombing in five minutes." The Russians admit now that this statement caused a brief wave of panic in the Kremlin. Oh, those gullible Russkies. 10. Give one of the words which Charlotte wove into her web. Great Answer: "Pork. The other white meat." - ROB BUCKANAVAGE Frankly, I'm not *positive* of the correct answer here. Sorry. I believe she wove three different things into the web: "Radiant" "Humble" and "Some Pig" In any event, I *do* remember most of the songs from the movie. Besides being the QuizMaster I am also The Showtunes Guy. (Not gay, either.) Here, from memory, are a couple jams from the movie: "Oh, wow, look at him now Zuckerman's famous pig Soo-ey, what do you see Most famous pig in history Fine swine, wish he were mine So what if he's not so big! He's one terrific, radiant, humble, thingamajig of a pig! He's Zuckerman's, Zuckerman's, Zuckerman's, Zuckerman's, Zuckermaaaaaaans--famous pig!" Also, here's the little diddy Wilbur sang when he first learned to talk: "Isn't it great That I articulate? Isn't it grand That you can understand? I don't eek! I don't awk! I don't even squeak or squawk! When I want to say a somethin' I just open up and talk! I can talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, TAAALK!!!!!" At this point in the movie the ram bitch-slaps Wilbur, and not a second too soon. Congrats again to today's Big Winners! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/06/98 Date: Mon, 09 Mar 1998 08:55:59 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/06/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: CHRISTINE CHALLAS DEBORAH DENHAM WES NAU STEVE STEGER and BIRGITT TANGERMANN!!!! These contestants will receive three personal training sessions with me. Way to go! 1. Remember Mr. McFeely, the mailman from yesterday? Well, dig, what was his trademark catch-phrase? "I never told her to lie about it." - PAT GEORGE. (Pat is, of course, thinking of President McFeely.) "I have candy, ain't it dandy, look at the Schnauzer in my Trousers. or maybe it was: Tomorrow I'll have mail...AND pants!" - SHANE SLEIGHTER Correct Answer: "Speedy Delivery! Speedy Delivery!" The only people to get this were: PAUL VAN TUYLE AMY MACPHERSON PAUL GEORGE and TOM O'REILLY 2. What was the name of the George and Louise Jeffersons' mixed-marriage neighbors? Tom and Helen Willis 3. Who's the hottest SI swimsuit model this year? Most of you said Heidi Klum. Unfortunately, the correct answer is Rebecca Romijn. 4. In radio parlance, why is it incorrect to say "Over and out."? All our current and former military contestants got this. As did all our truck drivin' women. The best and most concise answer was provided by ANGELICA PENA: "over= your turn out= conversation is over" On the other end of the spectrum was Lt. MICHAEL "Loves to hear himself type" HADLEY, USMC: "You say "over" to indicate you are done talking so the other guy can run his suck. You say "out" when you are done talking and you're not expecting or do not desire a reply. They are important terms. "Out" keeps people from waiting on radio traffic that will never come. "Over" keeps both parties from keying the handset at the same time. Radio nets are half duplex circuits meaning only one person can talk at a time. When both parties key the handset at the same time you get nothing. Inproper radio procedures are frowned upon in the Marine Corps. "Over and Out" is a big one. Another one you often hear is wierd trash like "lickin chickin" meaning meaning "loud and clear" for radio checks." Yo, Mike, "Run his suck"??? 5. Who is the leader of Libya? I accepted Qadaffi, Khadaffi, or Ghadaffi. (DEBORAH DENHAM says that the Libyan embassy spells it "Qadaffi".) Could not, however, accept "Molemar Kudaffy" or "Arafat". 6. How many Hawaiian islands are there? (Bonus points if you name them without looking them up. How will I know? Oh, I think my omniscience has been demonstrated previously.) There are 6 major islands: Hawaii, Oahu, Maui, Kauai, Molokai, and Lanai. Then there are two private islands. The first is Niihau, which is really interesting because it was bought from King Kamehameha by a wealthy family named "Robinson" over a 100 years ago, and it still belongs to them. It's very small and only has about 500 residents. Virtually no one is allowed on the island except the people who live there. They are all Hawaiian and Hawaiian is the official language. (Which is about as common as going to Rome and hearing people speak Latin.) There are no guns or alcohol on the island. (And really, what fun is one without the other?) They can keep that island, my friend. Did I cheat and look all this up? Oh goodness no, dearheart, I lived in Hawaii for ten years. From 1970, right on through disco. The 8th island is a fun one. Koho'olawe was used for target practice by the U.S. military for a really, really long time. Like, before Hawaii was even a state. The fact that no one ever asked how the Hawaiians felt about this didn't seem to bother anyone. It's no longer used for this, though. Either Reagan or Bush gave it back to them. Here are some islands that I could not accept as correct: "Treasure" "Ikee-Ikee-Ooh" "Cleveland" "Komonawanalaya" "Inky" "Blinky" "Clyde" "Kahlua" 7. Which one of the kids in Fat Albert's gang was Albert's brother? Ya know, I just can't throw a slider wild enough to fool some of you. Albert didn't have no brother on the show. Bill did. And his brother was Russell. ELISSA JACKSON caught this. "So, you're saying this was a deliberate ruse on your part, Dave, and not a mistake?" Yes, that is the story I am sticking with. 8. Who, along with Mark Goodson, produced "The Price is Right"? Bill Todman. Who can forget "A Mark Goodson/Bill Todman production."? Very few of you, apparently, as most of you got this. 9. Who grabbed her crotch and spit after singing a horrible rendition of the National Anthem at a baseball game? Roseanne 10. What was the name of the web browser that Mark Andreeson created before Netscape? Mosaic. And a fine job by all. Congrats once again to today's Big Winners! And stay tuned to today's DQ, as we announce the new DQ Contestant of the Week!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/09/98 Date: Tue, 10 Mar 1998 07:21:44 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/09/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * SHANE SLEIGHTER * * * ************************** Today's Big Winners: CHRIS BLILEY FRANCES JOHNSON and ALLAN HERING!!!! Chris and Allan each win one of those air fresheners for your car that look like a crown. You know, the ones that say to the world, "The driver of this car isn't from these parts originally." Frances wins a box of fluffy kittens. Way to go!! 1. In Stripes, how many push-ups did Bill Murray have to do in order to win 5 dollars from Harold Ramis? He had to do five. You got an extra .5 if you noted that they were not required to be Marine Corps pushups, just regular ones. 2. What was Elvis Presley's middle name? Aaron. 3. Translate this license plate: 2QAYL Most people said "To Quayle" or some variation on the spelling of that. I have to admit, there were some translations that I hadn't thought of. I had to give credit for these. "To queue a while" - DEBORAH DENHAM and MICHAEL ROLFES "2Q = Second Quarter; AYL = ile; Hence....'Second Quartile'" - SANDI ROTHMAN There were some that were juuuuust a hair off the mark: "Live long and prosper" - PAT GEORGE "Two Quail: The Rest. in DC. Good eats!" - PAUL VAN TUYLE "Too Cool" - MARK MURRAY The correct answer, which less than ten of you got, is: "Took you a while." 4. Name the movie: "Oh boys! Look what I got here!" "Hey, where da white women at?!" Blazing Saddles BIRGITT TANGERMANN said "Silver Streak", which is an exellent answer (although wrong) because not only is there a similar scene in that movie, but it involved Gene Wilder, who said the first line above. 5. What lesson was always skipped in a Kamikaze's flight training? Landing. I also accepted: "Ejecting" - Lots of you. "PLF" (Parachute Landing Fall) - TOM O'REILLY 6. Speaking of Kamikaze's, what goes in the drink? Vodka, Triple Sec and lime juice. 7. What was the name of the ship that picked up the survivors of the Titanic? Close: "Caligula" - CABE FRANKLIN Not Even Close: "HMS Pinafore" - KARL ROTHMAN Correct Answer: "Carpathia" DEBORAH DENHAM said "The California", which is a closer answer than you may think. The California was near Titanic when it went down, but for some reason didn't respond to their SOS. The captain, whose name was Lord, said that he saw another ship heading in the direction of the Titanic, so he didn't head over there. Nobody believed him, and he got screwed. People now believe that he did see another ship, a Norwegian whaler that was illegally hunting whales. They took off so that they wouldn't get in trouble. (The Discovery Channel "Titanic: The Legend Lives On.") 8. What did the headline of the Chicago Daily Tribune read the morning after Harry Truman defeated Thomas Dewey in the '48 presidential election? "Dewey Defeats Truman" 9. Who is Conan O'Brien's sidekick? Andy Richter 10. Who's hunkier: Leonardo Dicaprio or Brad Pitt? C'mon guys, I *had* to throw this question in after making the girls answer the SI Swimsuit model one. And you know, a lot of you guys refused to answer this, while almost *all* of the ladies answered the SI question. Best Guy Answer: "Tom O'fuckin'Reilly" - TOM O'REILLY MELISSA SINUNU offers the best argument for Leonardo: "I hear Brad Pitt has BO and bad skin." Most of you girls did say that Leonardo was the most hunkified, but I think he is going to age badly. Just my opinion. Congratulations again to our Big Winners! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/10/98 Date: Wed, 11 Mar 1998 09:26:29 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/10/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * SHANE SLEIGHTER * * * ************************** Today's Big Winners: BRIAN BEARD ANNE GREGG FRANCES JOHNSON HARRIS KAY CYNTHIA PRIOLET(!) MELISSA SINUNU and MATT YOUNG!!! These contestants each win one dream date with Contestant of the Month, SHANE SLEIGHTER!!! (This, obviously, would not be a good prize for the male winners. They win a dream date with JIM GILKESON.) Way to go!! 1. What state's name comes from the French "Green mountains"? The correct answer here, which most of you got, is "Vermont". A few people said "Montana", which, oddly enough, is the Portugese word for "Vermont". 2. Sony caught a lot of flack over their VCR's instruction manual because in the "Programming Your VCR" section it showed a sample date display of "DEC 7". What was the big deal? Most y'all got this one. A couple people added the year. INCORRECTLY! Hooo! I love when that happens! I won't say who it was. (One was JOHN HERING, though.) 3. What TV show's theme song was "Suicide is Painless"? M*A*S*H (Thanks to MELISSA SINUNU and MICHAEL P. HADLEY for including the lyrics from memory.) 4. What cartoon strip had a character named "Yaz Pistachio"? I'm kinda surprised how many people didn't get this one. It was "Bloom County". One or two of you also said "Outland", which may also be right, I don't know. They were both done by Berkely Breathed 5. Name the group and the song: "'Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick The one that makes me scream' she said 'The one that makes me laugh' she said And threw her arms around my neck" The Cure, "Just Like Heaven" SHANE SLEIGHTER, showing why he's our COW: "The Cure. "Just Like Heaven" "You-hoo, lost and lonely, You-hoo, look so homely, You-hoo, smell like Ann." (This was funny in high school because we worked with a woman, named Ann, who had B.O.)" 6. The Brandenberg Gate was part of what former structure? The Berlin Wall 7. Who was Lloyd Bentsen talking to when he said "Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy." Two of you said "Ted Kennedy". That's pretty funny. The correct answer here is Dan Quayle. 8. During what war did the British set Washington D.C. ablaze? If the old saying "If we do not learn our history we are destined to repeat it." has any truth to it we'd better get the fire extinguishers ready. *WAY* too many people said "The Revolutionary War". Now, if I'm not mistaken, there WAS no Washington D.C. back then. The correct answer is "The War of 1812". 9. Name the movie: "That's not Lake Minnetonka." Very, very few of you got this obscure quote from Purple Rain. This was the scene where Prince takes Vanity out to this lake on his motorcycle. (And if you look closely you can see the symbol painted on his bike which he will later change his name to.) He tells her that if she wants his help getting famous she'd have to jump into Lake Minnetonka. She strips and jumps in. Then he says the above line. Most of you said Fargo. A few said Meatballs. (Which reminds me that we need more questions from Meatballs, one great flick.) Here's who got it: SCOTT BAGER CHRIS BLILEY MICHAEL P. HADLEY JOHN HERING ANDREA IMPARATO HARRIS KAY MARK MURRAY MELISSA SINUNU CHUCK STARRATT STEVE STEGER BIRGITT TANGERMANN and MATT YOUNG CHRISTINE CHALLAS, what were you thinking?? You got the movie right, but it was not Lake Titicaca. Lake Titicaca is the world's highest lake. (With the world's worst name.) Look for Lake Titcaca in a future DQ! 10. Name three "monster" breakfast cereals. I was looking for "Count Chocula", "Frankenberry", and "Boo Berry". I forgot about one, which SCOTT BAGER didn't: "Fruit Brute was that gruel with the werewolf trade character which make a cameo in the letterboxed version of Pulp Fiction in the scene which begins with Eric Stoltz spoonin' and dribbling cereal while watchin' TV in bed, when he gets the call from Vicent Vega that he's bringing an OD'ing Mrs. Marsalus Wallace to his home." LEV LESOKHIN, no I don't think Leprachauns are generally considered monsters. Congratulations once again to today's Big Winners! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/11/98 Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 09:44:11 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/11/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * SHANE SLEIGHTER * * * ************************** It's been said before, but with so many new players I think I should run it by you again. The Big Winners are usually, but *NOT ALWAYS*, the players with the highest number of correct answers. Sometimes a very clever incorrect answer is actually worth more than a correct answer. So, if you got all of today's right and feel cheated, well, you can take some comfort in the knowing that God knows you know Grease really well and he shall reward you when you are delivered into His arms. Amen. Today's Big Winners: MELISSA BOWEN KATE KIRKPATRICK KRISTIN MATUSHAK KARL ROTHMAN CARRIE STATZ and ROB WAGNER!!! These contestants win a box of Fruit Rollups, which, while 13 years old, are still in the same condition as the day they left the processing facility. Way to go!! CABE FRANKLIN, who turned in an overall fairly crappy quiz, did earn a bonus point for including the misheard lyric from "You're the One that I Want": "I got shoes. They're made of plywood." I believe the book of incorrect lyrics which Cabe refers to is called "Excuse Me, While I Kiss This Guy." Look for it in your local library. (HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! After you've succeeded in looking for your local library, that is! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!) Anyway... 1. In the movie Grease, Kenickie says that getting what from him is like getting a Hallmark card, "When you care enough to send the very best."? "The Clap" - STEVE STEGER "A Hallmark Card" - ROB WAGNER "Pregnant" - BRANDY ABERNATHY Correct Answer: A hickey. KATE KIRKPATRICK tossed in the scene which follows Kenickie's statement: "you pig!" "Oh, baby, I love it when you talk dirty" (milkshake is thrown) "to you from me, Pinky Lee!! Sorry, French." 2. Greece is located next to what body of water? I got lots of different answers here, which confused me, cuz I thought it was the Mediterranean Sea. LIA PAPACONSTANTOPOULOS, who just happens to be Greek, set things straight: "The mediterranean sea. Within the mediterranean sea is the aegian sea with borders the eastern part of greece and the west (between Italy and Greece) part which is referred to as the ionian sea." Rock on, Lia. SHANE SLEIGHTER: "I really do not know. I do remember that when Jeri-curl was popular in high school, you could always tell when someone with a 'do sat by a window, because it would leave a print of the person's hair on the glass. It also tasted kind of salty." 3. What school do Danny, Sandy, et al. attend? Rydell 4. What was the name of Rizzo's gang? "Apple Dumpling" - ROB WAGNER Correct Answer: Pink Ladies 5. What was the name of Danny's gang? Thunderbirds 6. Name *ALL* the sports Danny tried in order to impress Sandy. Wrestling Basketball Baseball Track A lot of people added football their list, but that's incorrect. I think only one person had gymnastics, and that might be right. I can't remember. I know that he didn't actually attempt anything gymnastic, but the coach did ask him if he was interested in the rings. Danny said something like "Yeah, I just put a new set of rings on my car." 7. What island in Greece has a U.S. state named after it? KRISTIN MATUSHAK, who took yesterday's quiz in-person with the QuizMaster, got extra points for rattling off nearly all the Greek islands before arriving at the correct answer. VERY impressive, Kristin! Best Wrong Answer: "Vermonta" - STEVE STEGER Worst Wrong Answer: "Are you making this up?" - SARA BRADLEY Correct Answer: Rhodes 8. What was Frenchie doing to Sandy in the bathroom during the slumber party? Piercing her ears. Naturally, there was also every manner of sexual answer. 9. Who was the MC at the dance-off? Vince Fontaine 10. What events led up to Danny singing "Sandy"? MIKE ROLFES was just a tad off the mark: "He did her in Australia." Our "Brevity is the Soul of Wit Award" goes to JEN MCCORMICK: "I think she cracked his balls in the car door." Most Complete Answer: "WHILE SITTING IN HIS CAR AT THE DRIVE-IN, HE APOLOGIZES FOR CHA- CHA DE GREGORIO (the best dancer at st. bernadette's with the worst reputation). AFTER CONVINCING SANDY TO WEAR HIS RING, DANNY PUTS THE MOVES ON HER. SHE STORMS OUT OF THE CAR, SLAMS THE DOOR ON HIS PACKAGE, AND LEAVES HIM : Stranded at the drive-in branded, a fool what will they say monday at school THE BEST PART OF THIS SCENE IS THE CONCESSION STAND PROMO ON THE SCREEN WHEN THE HOT DOG JUMPS INTO THE BUN; IT'S SORT OF OBSCENE, AND I LIKE IT." - KARL ROTHMAN Congratulations again to our Big Winners! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/12/98 Date: Fri, 13 Mar 1998 08:10:37 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/12/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * SHANE SLEIGHTER * * * ************************** Today's Big Winners: JON DAVID STEVE DIAMOND HARRIS KAY DAVE MARIA KARL ROTHMAN SANDI ROTHMAN and MELISSA SINUNU These contestants will receive the Charles and Diana commemorative wedding plate autographed by Maria Conchita Alonso, star of the 1996 made-for-TV movie "Sudden Terror: The Hijacking of School Bus #17". Way to go!! Hey, NICK PACE! YOU SUCK!! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! (Just kidding. I don't even know this guy. I just thought it would be funny to yell that at someone for no reason. Sorry again, Nick.) 1. Who picked a bad week to quit breathing oxygen? Lloyd Bridges "This fog is getting thicker!" "And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger!" - SCOTT BAGER (Note to ELISSA JACKSON: Sooner or later I *am* going to ask a question whose answer is "Deney Terrio" and you are going to crush!) 2. What were canaries used for in coal mining? Boyo, answers don't get much better than this one from MATT YOUNG: "The parakeets would alert the miners when toxic gas, like the odorless carbon monoxide, was building up in the mines. They alerted the miners by dying in their cages. I know this from watching the Simpsons "Timmy O'Toole" episode where the townspeople and Sting have to dig Bart out of the well. Best line from the episode: 'The circumference of the well is 34 inches. So, unfortunately, not one member of our city's police force is slender enough to rescue the boy.' - Kent Brockman, TV Anchor" Another excellent Simpson's memory from COW, SHANE SLEIGHTER: "When Homer, Sting, Marge, and Willie are digging to get Bart (aka Little Timmy) out of the well, and Willie screams "The canary is dead!" and they all go running out of the hole. Then, Dr. Hibbert pronounces "This canary died of natural causes." and they all go running back in." 3. What was the name of the guy whose art, which included a lot of pictures of gay guys doing odd things, sparked the big debate about government funding of the NEA? Best Incorrect Answer: "Elton John is a gay." - MELISSA BOWEN Best Answer That Took Me a Second - "Richard Smuggler" - MIKE ROLFES Resident art critic, TRIP MORANO, voices his opinion on this controversial artist: "What an ass bandit." Correct Answer: "Robert Maplethorpe" 4. In the movie A Fish Called Wanda, what was the impairment from which Michael Palin's character suffered? "st-st-st-st-stuttering" - LISA FLINT (And about 50 others. But Lisa actually the word correctly. There ain't no damn "D" in "Stutter".) (Note to PETER MCGRATH: That elephantitis thing was The Breakfast Club, but that is one mean impairment indeed.) 5. Name the movie: "Now I can't keep you cuffed on a commercial flight, and I have to check my gun with my luggage, but you fuck with me once and I'm gonna break your neck." "I can't fly." "What?" "You heard me. I can't fly." "No, no, no. You're gonna to have to do better than that." "No I don't have to do better than that, because it's the truth. I can't fly. I suffer from aviaphobia." "What does that mean?" "It means I can't fly. I also suffer from claustrophobia and agoraphobia." "Well if you don't shut up, pretty soon you're gonna suffer from fistaphobia." Midnight Run 6. Complete this line from a Mike Myers sketch on SNL: "If it's not Scottish..." "It's CRAP!" 7. Who is known as the "Conspiracy King of Hollywood"? "Abe Frohman" - (A combined effort on the part of STEVE DIAMOND and SANDI and KARL ROTHMAN) Dig, this is one great answer worth at least *triple* the value of the correct answer. To answer with the Sausage King of Chicago was genius, frankly. Correct Answer: "Oliver Stone" 8. Who sunk the buzzer-beater to beat Kentucky in the regional finals of the '92 NCAA tournament? Excellent Answer: "Christian Laettner. On that day, he was 10 for 10 in field goals and 10 for ten from the foul line. Duke went on to beat Michigan and their mouthy Fab Five, the Greatest Freshman Class In The History of The Game in the finals, and the Fab Five went on to lose another NCAA final and become a feeder team for the Washington Wizards, where two of its members continue to underachieve at the professioanl level." - ROB WAGNER Note to ANGELICA PENA: Yes, he is fairly hunky. 9. When John Candy tries to stop the Giswald's from entering Walleyworld who does he say should have told them that the park was closed? I'm afraid I had to be really strict here. I could not accept "Marty Moose". The better answer is "The Moose out front." (Oh, and yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a damn "r" missing, I'm a dick.) 10. What product's slogan was "A little dab'll do ya?" Best Wrong Answer: "Preparation H" Correct Answer: "BrylCreme" BONUS: There was some controversy involving the javelin event at the '84 Olympics in L.A. What was it? Excellent Answer Which Many of You Thought of But I Didn't: "The Finnish team was using a more aerodynamically sound "floppy" javelin, similar to the one used by Lamar to capture the gold for Tri-Lambdas in the Greek Olympics." - DAVE MARIA A lot of you mentioned the inattentive field judge getting impaled by the javelin. I don't know if that happened in L.A., but that remains one of my all-time favorite bloopers. I mean, the guy gets scewered in the shoulder by a flying spear, pulls it out, and then almost apologetically tries to mark where it would have landed! Hooo! Note to DEBORAH DENHAM: No, I don't think they trashed their hotel room, but that is an excellent answer. What I was thinking of, which nobody mentioned, was when one team had the doors to the stadium opened in order to take advantage of a slight breeze. Jeez, maybe it never happened at all and I just dreamed it or something. Somebody tell me if you remember this at all. I shan't sleep tonight. Congratulations once again to blah, blah, blah. Your Best Friend, Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/13/98 Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 09:36:19 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/13/98 by Dave George The Contestant of the Week for March 16th - 20th is LESLIE MARIA!! Leslie is a graduate of UVA and is currently in her second year of law school at Georgetown. Leslie has been playing my various email games since the good old days a few years back when she had a government job and had roughly 8 hours of free time to kill each day. Leslie's hobbies include running, fishing, working on her car and listening to the music of her all-time favorite band, Toad the Wet Sprocket. Way to go, Leslie!! Today's Big Winners: TRIP KIRKPATRICK BASIL MAKHARITA and DAVE MARIA!! These contestants will receive a copy of "Dianetics" by L. Ron Hubbard. Way to go!! 1. Finish this cheer from the SNL sketch where the cheerleaders are at the swim meet: "Taco! Burrito!..." "What's comin' out of that speedo? you got trouble, you're blowin' bubbles, WOO!" - BASIL MAKHARITA 2. Frozen carbon dioxide is more commonly known as what? Dry ice. 3. In the movie Joe Versus the Volcano, what ailment does Joe supposedly suffer from? Brain Cloud. 4. What is the illegal motion of a pitcher in baseball called? Balk 5. Name 5 famous Dicks. I think these are all the Dicks you guys named. Sorry if I missed one or two. Andy Dick Dick Clark Moby Dick Dick Van Dyke Tricky Dick Nixon Dick Scofield Dick Van Patten Dick Tracy Dick Morris Miller Lite Dick Dick Cheney Dick Enberg Dick Sargent Dick York Dick Butkus A couple people had "Dick the Lionhearted", which is a perfectly acceptable answer. "Dick Tease" - ELISSA JACKSON "Mr. Hand" - KARL ROTHMAN (An excellent answer which refers to Fast Times at Ridgemont High.) CHRISTINE CHALLAS wins our "Saucy Tart" award today for her five: "John Holmes Long Dong Silver Marky Mark Tommy Lee Ron Jeremy" COREY MCINTYRE lost all his points for his answer of "You". 6. Who developed the first vaccine against polio? Jonas Salk 7. What kind of dog did Gene Hackman's character have in the movie Crimson Tide? Jack Russel Terrier 8. The double helix is used to describe what acid? Deoxyribonucleic 9. What was the name of Ross's monkey on "Friends"? Marcel 10. Who is the Hawaiian goddess of fire? JP XENAKIS - "I just described her with an elaborate hula dance, but you'd really have to see it to get the effect." DAVE MARIA blew the competition away with this answer: "Pele, the goddess of volcanic fire. Interesting story: the Brazilian soccer legend Pele was named after this goddess. Pele's father was also an avid soccer player, and his father's best friend on his club team in Brazil, Kenneth Kauna, had emigrated to Brazil from Hawaii to play soccer (he is the only American to play in the Brazilian premier division). Kenneth would pray to this goddess before each game, hoping for the power, strength, and fury of volcanic fire in his game. He died in a tragic accident on the way to a game when the donkey he was riding was hit by a bus. In memory of his fallen friend, Pele's father gave his son the name of Pele. Actually, I made that all up, but I'm really bored at work today." A fine showing, folks. Congratulations again to our Big Winners and to our new COW, Leslie Maria! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/16/98 Date: Tue, 17 Mar 1998 10:41:12 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/16/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: LAURA COLOMBELL (Yo, Challas, get with the program. You're slacking.) JAMES DONAHUE KIM FERNANDEZ DAVE MARIA and MELISSA SINUNU!! These contestants win a 16 year-old troubled youth named "Tino". Tino is this week's "Tuesday's Child". He has been in and out of foster homes since his parents traded him for some fruit. He needs only love, affection, understanding and restraining belts. Way to go!!! 1. How would the narrator of "Moby Dick" introduce himself at a party? "Call me Ishmael." You got an extra .25 for throwing in something about showing your white whale. (Easy jokes aren't worth quite as much.) CHARLES MASSEY didn't get any extra points, but this is at least weird, which counts for something. (And I like Paul Simon.): "Call me Ishmael, but Betty when you call me, you can call me Al." 2. What word did Captain Marvel always use? (He came up with it with a little help from Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, and Mercury.) Shazam! 3. Because of their stinky sulfur content, what everyday product used to be called "Lucifers"? "Leeto Tlou's socks" - JIM GILKESON "Soap" - LEETO TLOU Well, that explains the socks. Leeto, time to switch brands of soaps, my friend. Correct Answer: "Matches". 4. The Federal National Mortgage Association is commonly called what? Fannie Mae 5. Who broke Joe Theisman's leg? "Lawrence Taylor. Actually, although LT is generally held culpable for the break, he and Harry Carson were credited for half a sack each on that fateful play. Just a bit of trivia." - BASIL MAKHARITA KARL ROTHMAN added: "Although many people thought that was really disgusting, Tim Krumrie's broken leg flapping in the wind during the second Bengals/49ers Superbowl was worse, as was pitcher Dave Dravecky's arm almost falling off. But perhaps the worst sports injury I have ever seen was goalie Clint Malarchuck on his knees with one hand against his jugular, trying to stop the flow of blood that was pooling around him on the ice as a result of a skate slash across the throat; team doctor's got to Malarchuck in time, but it is still the most horrifying sports thing I have ever seen." Karl, many people would argue with you on that one. High school wrestling fans in the mid 80's who witnessed the Quizmaster in a singlet being flung from one end of the mat to the other would likely say that this was the most horrifying sports thing they have ever seen. 6. According to The Bangles, where are all the cops hanging out? "In the donut shop." 7. In the movie, The Shining, what phrase does Jack Nicholson's character type over and over? Many of you tried, but MARC ROWLEY, by far, won for the longest repetition of "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Damn thing must've repeated 10,000 times, no kidding. 8. March 15th is also known as what? The ides of March. Or "Whacking Day" - SCOTT BAGER (+1 --Simpson's reference.) 9. Abrams, Challenger, Patton and Leopard are examples of what? "Tanks." You're welcome. I'm sorry. That was really dumb. 10. Name the movie: "This town needs an enema!" Batman Fine job, kids. Your pal, Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/17/98 Date: Wed, 18 Mar 1998 09:08:07 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/17/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * LESLIE MARIA * * * ************************** Important Note: TRACY GOEBEL is a long-time DQ contestant who was inadvertantly overlooked yesterday, but scored a perfect 10 out of 10. Tracy will be receiving William Shatner's album "Transformed Man" on which he sings "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and "Tamborine Man". Today's Big Winners: CHRISTINE CHALLAS CHRIS DESANTIS BASIL MAKHARITA ANDY SOUDERS and MIKE WAITE!! These folks win a marmoset, a small fluffy monkey from South America that has claws instead of nails. And also no big toe. Way to go! 1. Name the movie: "It's a crazy world." "Someone oughta sell tickets." "Sure, I'd buy one." Raising Arizona 2. Who has NOT been a guest voice on the Simpsons - Kirk Douglas, Sandra Bullock, or Michelle Pfieffer? "Sandi Rothman" - SANDI ROTHMAN (-2 Not one of the choices.) ANS: Sandra Bullock. Kirk Douglas did the voice for Chester, the man who first drew Itchy and Scratchy. Michelle Pfieffer was the voice of Mindy Simmons, a potential love interest for Homer. 3. More Simpsons - Name three baseball players who were hired to play on Burns' softball team. ANS: Wade Boggs, Jose Canseco, Roger Clemons, Ken Griffey Jr., Don Mattingly, Steve Sax, Mike Sciosia, and Ozzie Smith. 4. Who started the peace talks with the British during the Revolutionary War? The most popular answers were "Benedict Arnold", "Thomas Jefferson" and "George Washington". Actually LOTS of people said Benedict Arnold. I think the only thing he negotiated was turning over West Point to the British. Could be wrong, though. Hell, this is MATT YOUNG's question anyway. Less popular were "The French" and "The Indians". Most Incorrect Answer belonged to WILLIAM WALLACE: "The Trobrianders of Papua New Guinea." (They, of course, helped negotiate the peace at Yalta.) The people who answered "Ben Franklin". TRIP KIRKPATRICK COREY MCINTYRE JENNIFER KOSS HARRIS KAY MICHAEL HYLTON NATE RIPPEL and PAT GEORGE 5. According to Simone, where did Ferris Bueller pass out? The 31 Flavors. 6. What is the name of the U.S. Army's anti-terrorist team? Many "A-Team" answers. I will grant you that the A-Team could certainly help out in any anti-terrorist situation (I mean, if no one else can help and if you can find them) but the correct answer here is "Delta Force". 7. Finish this line: "I am Mr. Rourke, your host..." "Please don't feed the midget." - SHARON PRESLEY "And THIS IS JEOPARDY!" - JOEY RUSSO "Hey tatoo, get off that man's leg!" - JERRY HELISEK "and this is Tatoo, the suicidal midget." - LESLIE MARIA (Oh yeah, I'd forgotten what a nutjob Herve was.) Correct Answer: "Welcome to Fantasy Island." 8. What was the name of the guy who hijacked a plane in the late 70's, then parachuted out with $20,000? "Super Dave" - SEAN BOYLE (No, but I like that guy. He kills me. And he's the brother of...nevermind, I'll save it for a future DQ question.) A lot of you said "Patrick Swayze". While this was every bit as real an event, it occurred in the early 90's not late 70's and it was one hell of a lot more than $20,000. MICHAEL HYLTON said "DT cooper...BP cooper...something like that..." SO close! The correct answer is "DB Cooper". 9. Speaking of the 70's, Robert Conrad starred in a commercial for what product, which he placed on his shoulder, saying "Knock it off. I dare you."? "A Pringle" - SANDI ROTHMAN (No, but I'm starving right now and that sounds delicious.) It was actually a battery. I think Everready. 10. Let's stick with a theme here. Also in the 70's, Robert Conrad starred in what TV series in which he portrayed fighter pilot Pappy Boyington? "Baa Baa, Blacksheep" Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/18/98 Date: Thu, 19 Mar 1998 10:40:15 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/18/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * LESLIE MARIA * * * ************************** Today's Big Winners: ENRICO GAGLIOTI ANA KEEFE and CRAIG MORTON!! These folks will be receiving a set of Michelin XT5 Duratread tires. Way to go!! 1. "Call the ball", "Arresting wire" and "Catapult" are terms associated with what? "Flight operations on an Aircraft Carrier." - SEAN BOYLE Sean's answer was the most accurate. Of course I also accepted anything having to do with aircraft carriers or naval aviation in general. I did not accept: "Billiards" - Lots of you "Dwarf Tossing" - KARL ROTHMAN 2. What nutso radio personality wrote a book in which he detailed eating a rat in order to get over his fear of them? Best Incorrect Answer: "Dr. Laura scheslinger" - STEVE DIAMOND Correct Answer: "G. Gordon Liddy" 3. What is Seattle Mariners pitcher Randy Johnson's nickname? "The Big Unit" 4. Let's say you're a nuclear submarine captain in the early 1960's. (Let's also assume they let women do this, too.) Which sub would you have LEAST wanted to be on? (Also assume you have an intense fear of imploding.) The Thresher. It sunk. I know this because, ladies and gentlemen, I was on the Thresher. Jeez, that was lie and I'm sorry. 5. In Greek mythology, what's the name of the river in Hades? "The river Styx, named after the best band ever." - JENNIFER BAGER You lost 3 pts if you said that Styx was not the only river in Hades. Cuz, I mean, did any of *THOSE* rivers have a band?? 6. What's the name of the Jetson's dog? Astro. I took 2 pts if you said "Rastro", cuz JOHN HERING asked me to. I don't know why, really, but he's an old friend and it cost me nothing to make him happy here and I may need a favor someday in return. Like last night when I got pulled over the SECOND I pulled out of Carpool. I thought I was gonna be calling John from the lockup. Then I remembered that I was completely sober. Still, scary. 7. What's the name of the popular heart surgery where a balloon is inserted into a blocked artery in order to push the blockage out of the way? DAVE MARIA: "Angioplasty (note: they don't actually insert a balloon, as most balloons would not fit in a human vein or artery. A catheter is inserted which has a tip which can be filled with air once it is inserted and reaches its destination.)" Well there, little Mr. Helper, I looked it up and the procedure is also refered to as a "Balloon Angioplasty". So I say the damn thing is a balloon. 8. Who is called "The Father of Psychoanalysis"? Me. Or Sigmund Freud. I accepted either. 9. (We never have Star Trek questions, mostly because I've never seen a single episode, but here goes...) What are the little furry creatures called that multiply rapidly and overrun the Enterprise? "Tribbles." 10. Whose phone number is (202)514-8688? "I don't know, can I call to find out?" - SHARON PRESLEY Sharon, that was kinda the point. We had many chickens who wouldn't call, but there were many more who *did* call and said howdy to the receptionist at Kenneth Starr's office. I was fortunate enough to be on the phone with one of today's Big Winners, ENRICO GAGLIOTI, when he called. It went like this: "Office of the independant counsel." "I'm sorry, who is this?" "Office of the independant counsel." "Oh, is this (212)514-8688?" "No, it's 2-OH-2." "Oh, I'm sorry. And what office is this again?" "Office of the independant counsel." "Kenneth Starr's office??" "Uh-huh." "Wow! Your phone must be ringing off the hook over there, huh?" "Uh, yeah." "OK, bye." "Bye!" I think she was a temp. Anyway, bravo to you brave souls who knew that I'd never have you call a sex line or something. Stay tuned for more "Mystery Phone Owners" in upcoming DQs! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/19/98 Date: Fri, 20 Mar 1998 07:34:02 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/19/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * LESLIE MARIA * * * ************************** We done got us some official word on that balloon angioplasty controversy from yesterday. DAVE MARIA said that it was not actually a balloon. BILL TYRRELL, who's a veterinary cardiologist, says: "To clarify the balloon angioplasty statement. It is truly a balloon that is attached to the end of a catheter that is inserted into your femoral artery via an introducer and a guide wire. It is guided to the aorta where it is steered into the appropriate coronary artery that needs unblockage. Air is not used for the insufflation because if the balloon bursts, which does happen, the victim's, I mean patient's, balloon is burst, as well, due to the rapid air emboli to his brain. Oh well, at least it was not a dog or a cat." Rock on, Dr. Bill! Today's Big Winners: ROB BUCKANAVAGE ALLISON PAGE MILLIE PERRINE VINCENT PETERS and MATT YOUNG!! These contestants will be receiving a biiiig bottle of Jim Beam. And a loooong straw. Way to go!! 1. What buxom actress was the "Cross Your Heart" bra lady for years and years? We have yet another DQ Six Degrees of Separation Alert! Contestant KERRI REICH is the third cousin of Jane Russell, who is the correct answer to this question. 2. Name five geographical locales mentioned in the Beach Boys song "Kokomo". Correct Answers: Aruba Jamaica Bermuda Bahama Key Largo Montego Florida Keys Kokomo Martinique Montserrat and Port Au Prince Could not accept the following four from SHANE SLEIGHTER: "Taquilla" "Lemetakia" and "Pretemama" "We'll get there faster if we take it slow....which really makes no sense as we are talking of geographical locations, unless they're afraid of getting a speeding ticket or some other delay, like an accident." - JP XENAKIS (+1 pt for making an important observation.) I, like many of you, wondered where this "Kokomo" is anyway, but JANET FORD says: "In Key West, Fla. - a pitiful little thing about 3 feet deep - but the waiters bring you drinks on trays, so who is really complaining?" NOTE: If you, like me, had that damn song stuck in your head all day I apologize. 3. In what movie did the above song first appear? "Cocktail" 4. What country, home of the northernmost capital in the world, is called "The Land of Fire and Ice"? "Iceland" 5. And by a wack-wack-wacky coincidence, the southernmost permanently inhabited place on Earth is what island, whose name means "The Land of Fire"? "Tierra del Fuego" "Muchas Gracias, Senor" "Tierra del Fuego" - DAVE MARIA (+3 pts for the obscure Fletch reference.) 6. What is the most popular sport in the United States, based on fan attendance? NASCAR 7. What is a group of whales called? "The National Organization for Women" - JIM GILKESON Correct answer: "Pod". (Would have also accepted "Gam", but nobody said it.") 8. What is the state flower of Mississippi? (Hint: "Truckin'" and "Olympia Dukakis".) Magnolia. (The hints refered to The Grateful Dead's "Sugar Magnolia" and the movie "Steel Magnolias". Which I love and am not gay.) (Anymore.) 9. What's the largest animal to have ever existed on Earth? PAT GEORGE confused the largest animal with the only known lesbian species of dinosaur when he answered: "Likalotapus". "Nell Carter" - JIM GILKESON LESLIE MARIA said "Me, freshman year of college." "The Dragoon" - DAVE MARIA (I don't know why that cracked me up, but that's really funny.) The correct answer is "The Blue Whale". 10. Whose phone number is 1-800-666-8352? The Montel Williams Show Topic Hotline. As my JMU compatriots can attest, I used to call all the talk show hotlines *all* the time and was actually asked to be on two different shows. I didn't go, but it was an honor just being nominated. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/20/98 Date: Mon, 23 Mar 1998 09:17:41 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/20/98 by Dave George Today's Big Winners: HEATHER BRAUN HARRIS KAY KATE KIRKPATRICK BASIL MAKHARITA DAVE MARIA ALLISON PAGE KARL ROTHMAN AIMEE SANGSTER and LYNN SMULLEN!!! Wow! With so darn many winners I think the prize should be really special. Therefore, they will each receive an autographed picture of Ted Britt and his 17 hunky sons. Way to go!!! 1. Kindly supply the last two lines to this famous poem: "I've never seen a purple cow I never hope to see one..." Worst Answer: "two of hearts - i need you, i need you two of hearts - come on, come on..." - SCOTT BAGER Second Worst: "Everybody have fun tonight Everybody Wang Chung tonight" - JENNIFER KOSS Correct Answer: "But I can tell you anyhow I'd rather see than be one." 2. "Zippity Do Da" is a song from what Disney movie? Song of the South 3. What's an official warning in soccer called? "A yellow card." "I think it's a booking. But I can tell you what it sounds like, 'The bleachers are collapsing, repeat, the bleachers are collapsing. Please form an orderly line and WALK to the nearest exit.'" - JAMES FLINT James is right, it is also called a booking. Especially in Europe. (Or was it France? Either one, can't remember.) Interestingly, our own DAN RIPPEL just received one of these not 13 hours ago in our indoor game. 4. What literary work begins, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."? A Tale of Two Cities 5. In the movie Cool Hand Luke, where did unruly prisoners have to spend a night? "The Pit of Despair" - JP XENAKIS Correct Answer: "The box." 6. What did Dorothy Parker say men seldom do to girls who wear glasses? (Try to avoid the easy joke.) "Give 'em wedgies" - LEETO TLOU "Issue them pilot's licenses" - JOHN HERING "Seldom mow grasses of girls who wear glasses" - JP XENAKIS "Poke em in the eyes" - DAN RIPPEL "Break their noses." - JAMES FLINT (Somewhere Zoe Merckel is flinching.) Correct Answer: "Make passes at." "Dorothy Parker also said that you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her read" - MELISSA SINUNU (She also said "One more drink and I'll be under the host.") 7. Where will you find the American Immigrant Wall of Honor? Ellis Island 8. Name the movie: "What's wrong, mom?" "First class is what's wrong. Before it was a better meal, now it's a better life." Jerry Maguire 9. What was unusual about Arnold Drummond's goldfish? "Five penises! His pants fit like a glove!" - JOEL PFYFFER He was black. Mr. Drummond: "I've never seen a black goldfish before." Arnold: "That's OK, he's never seen a rich white man before." And thanks to everyone who told me his name was Abraham. I had forgotten that. 10. Whose phone number is (703)902-4567? Yes indeedy, that was our own SHANE SLEIGHTER you cowards called and hung up on all day! Shane thought for sure that he would get to meet some of the many cuties that reside in DQland. And maybe even some of the girls! Your pal, Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/23/98 Date: Tue, 24 Mar 1998 11:02:00 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/23/98 by Dave George Today's answers are a little late and just a tad sparce. Sorry. I was at home replaying over and over Ashley Judd's walk to the podium. Today's Big Winners: CHAD BOLLWEG VICTORIA PETERSEN MARC ROWLEY and JP XENAKIS!!! These contestants will receive a book of 20 free passes to the Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum! Rock on! 1. My friend (you know, the witchdoctor?) he told me what to do. What did he say? "oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang" - MICHAEL ROLFES Yeah, that's it. A ton of you said "Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up." I don't know where you got that. (But I'm sure someone will tell me.) 2. In the movie Twister, what movie is playing at the drive-in when the tornado hits it? The Shining 3. What TV show did Jan Hammer do the theme music for? Miami Vice 4. According to Disney, where will you be if you head toward "the second star to the right, straight on 'til morning"? Never Never Land 5. Name the TV show whose theme song included these lyrics: "Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will." The Dukes of Hazzard 6. Name the movie: "I came here to drink myself to death." "How long will it take you?" "I'd say about three to four weeks." Leaving Las Vegas or "Trip Morano Goes to College." 7. For what practical reason did Hollywood become the place to film movies? "That's where all the studios are." - JP XENAKIS "Because the conglomerate of the Edison companies with Vitagraph, Kodak, and Biograph and six other companies in New York held the pattents on the film making machines and the producers felt if they went to LA they could be close to the border in they were caught using the machines with out permission. They made movies with close ups and credits, something that was not done in New York. Plus it was far away from the powers in New York. After a few years teh goverment broke up the Eidson (not named that) companies hold on teh pattents and Hollywood was born, like Warner Bros RKO and such. (Learned in Friday in class.)" - MARC ROWLEY "The climate required for year-round production (the U.S. Weather Bureau estimated that an average of 320 days per year were sunny and/or clear); a wide range of topography within a 50-mile radius of Hollywood, including mountains, valleys, forests, lakes, islands, seacoast, and desert." - TOM CLAY I don't know, Tom. That is what I had always heard, but whenever I see a semicolon I start to think that somebody's been cutting and pasting from a web site. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, though. All I know for sure is, man, God bless Ashley Judd's designer! 8. Why are terrorists planting *TWO* bombs in one location these days? "More symmetrical explosions. It's an artistic statement." - JP XENAKIS That's very close. The correct answer, which about 10 of you got, is that the second one is timed to detonate amidst all the rescue workers. 9. What military commando unit specializes in sea, air and land operations? Navy SEALs. 10. In auto racing, what are the "marbles" that can litter the track? "C'mon guys. Maybe you need a refresher course. It's all ball-bearings these days." - JP XENAKIS Correct Answer: Bits o' the tires. Smell ya, Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 03/24/98 Date: Wed, 25 Mar 1998 08:52:22 -0500 The Daily Answers 03/24/98 by Dave George Seems that contestant GEORGE PATCH had a little problem with yesterday's quiz. Called it "weak". Not to me, mind you, but to AL HERING. (Thanks for the info, Al.) George, I actually have to agree with you. Agree with you, and then suspend you. SEE YA, GEORGE!! Yes, this DQ wasn't that great, but it was an old one. We rarely have reruns, but I was busy. ALSO: I forgot to name a new Contestant of the Week! So, this week's COW is... BIRGITT TANGERMANN!!!!! Birgitt is a long-time contestant on the Daily Quiz and says that the thing she enjoys most about it is "Getting to meet people from all over the world and learning that not only are we all VERY different, but some are also different *and* really stupid." Great! Congratulations, Birgitt!! Today's Big Winners: CHRISTINE CHALLAS JON DAVID MIKE HYLTON MEREDITH LINBERGER PETER MCGRATH and MELISSA SINUNU!!! These contestants win an autographed picture of Moses. Way to go!! 1. Who financed Columbus's expeditions? "Sigourney Weaver" - MICHAEL HYLTON Also accepted: "King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella" 2. What's the name of Columbus, Ohio's MLS team? Today's "Oh, Bless Your Heart" award goes to SARA BRADLEY with "This is another sports question, isn't it? I don't even know what MLS stands for." Sorry, Sara. But I guess if you don't know MLS, you probably wouldn't know the team anyway, so no harm. It's the Columbus Crew. 3. What's the name of Bluto's fraternity in Animal House? CHRISTINE CHALLAS got one extra point for combining a fraternity with a zen philosophy: "Delta Tao Chi". "I Eta Pi" - CHARLES MASSEY "Tappa Kegga Dey" - BRANDY ABERNATHY Correct Answer: Delta Tau Chi 4. Name the movie: "Tonight I'll be the super me." "What if the super you meets the super her and the super her rejects the super you?" "Then it's no problem." "Uh-huh Why?" "Because it was never you, it was just an act. I live my life like a French movie, Steve." Singles 5. Name the movie: "Were are you from?" "Austria." "Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!" "Let's not." Dumb & Dumber 6. Name the movie: "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses." "Hit it!" The Blues Brothers 7. The amount of energy required to raise one gram of water one degree Celsius is also called what? A calorie. 8. OK, this one's kinda tough, but I seem to recall it being in the news not too long ago for winning a Nobel prize: What's a buckminsterfullerine molecule called? "Bucky, by his friends." - JP XENAKIS That's actually very close, JP. The correct answer, which many of you did get is "Bucky Ball". 9. What two pitches combine to make a "slurve ball"? Slider and Curve ball. 10. What's the Marine Corps' motto? "Semper Fi, always ready" - CHARLES MASSEY Ooh, Charles! Ya had it, and then you tried to get all smart on us and translate it! Minus three points for taking a risk. Best Wrong Answer: TRIP KIRKPATRICK "'TGIF': They write it on the toes of their boots. It stands for 'Toes Go In First'." Correct Answer: "Semper Fidelis" (Always Faithful). Also accepted: "Semper Fidelis (or "Lets get all drunk and go to Lulu's or Mr. Day's and try to fight guys and pick up fat chicks")." - DAVE MARIA Guess that makes me a Marine!! Congratulations to today's Big Winners! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 04/06/97 Date: Tue, 07 Apr 1998 10:19:10 -0400 The Daily Answers 04/06/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * ELISSA JACKSON * * * ************************** Today's Big Winners: STEVE BOSWELL EUGENE CAMPBELL CHRISTINE CHALLAS PAUL GEORGE LISA GOLDSCHMIDT JOHN HERING SHERRY HULSEBUS and ANA KEEFE! It's pretty whacky when you consider that if all of today's winners were in the 10th grade at Robinson Secondary School, they all be in Subschool III. If you didn't go to Robinson, then this made little sense to you, but that's what I like to do--alienate as many people as I can from the start. Anyway, these contestants win a copy of my brother Paul's senior yearbook, in which ALLAN HERING wrote the foulest passage involving unspeakable acts and left it on our kitchen table where our visiting grandmother found it and read it. The doctors do not believe that this is what directly caused her decline in health, but they don't think it could have helped too much, either. Way to go, Big Winners!!! 1. What Beatles song begins "I think I'm gonna be sad..."? "Ticket To Ride" 2. A particular grass seed company claims that its grass is "99.99% weed-free". Assuming that's true, how many seeds of grass are in the bag for every weed seed? "I don't labor in the outdoors." - ANGIE BURKE "I was told there would be no math in this debate..." - CHRIS BLILEY Correct Answer: "9,999" Note to LYNN SMULLEN: How long 'til those GMATs? 3. Name two Madonna albums whose titles begin "Like a...". Like a Prayer and Like a Virgin 4. According to U2, in the early morning of April 4th they took Martin Luther King Jr.'s life but they couldn't take his what? "Wallet" - Lots of you. "His slider. It was easily Junior's best pitch." - SHANE SLEIGHTER Correct Answer: "Pride" 5. What is the most famous gift Japan gave to Washington DC? "Mechagodzilla vs. Rodan" - BASIL MAKHARITA Correct Answer: "Cherry trees" 6. What was China's gift? "Mongolian barbecue" - TOM BAKER (Mmmmmm, Mongolian barbecue.) Correct Answer: "Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing the giant pandas." DQ FunFact: "Ling-Ling" is actually Chinese for "Boutros-Boutros". 7. Complete this quote: "Never let it be forgot that once there was a spot for one brief, shining moment that was known as __________." "Dawson's Creek" - JP XENAKIS "G" - MIKE HADLEY "The Battle of the Network Stars." - CHRIS BLILEY (2 Bonus pts for eliciting memories of Barbi Benton sprinting.) "John 'Stumpy' Pepys" - HARRIS KAY (This makes more sense when you remember that Stumpy was a drummer for Spinal Tap who spontaneously combusted, leaving only "...a globule, a spot (a stain really) on his drum seat.") Correct Answer: "Camelot" 8. Whose presidential administration is the above quote associated with? JFK 9. Name two ways to land in jail in Monopoly. "Get drunk and pick a fight with the cashier." - ANGIE BURKE (No, Angie, that's what got you banned from the Harrisonburg Piggly Wiggly.) "Play strip monopoly with a group of 15 year olds." - DAVE HAGLER (Dave, not only can this get you in trouble with the law, but if their Boy Scout troop leader catches you he might beat you silly.) "Land on the "Go to Jail" space, pull a card telling you to "Go to jail, Go Directly to Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do not Collect $200." When I was younger, last year I think, I cried when I pulled that card. I mean...why do they have to be so mean about it? I also think you have to go to jail for rolling doubles three times in a row. Bastards! Why would they penalize you for being lucky?and on the "Go to Jail" space, pull a card telling you to "Go to jail, Go Directly to Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do not Collect $200." When I was younger, last year I think, I cried when I pulled that card. I mean...why do they have to be so mean about it? I also think you have to go to jail for rolling doubles three times in a row. Bastards! Why would they penalize you for being lucky?" - JEFF MARCIANO (Jeff, you are correct, but I had to deduct points for naming three ways when I asked for only two. Sorry, pal.) 10. Name the movie: "I'm talkin' about a place where the beer flows like wine, where the women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talkin' about Aspen." "I don't know, Lloyd, the French are assholes." Lots and lots of you said "Say Anything". You got half a point for this, cuz while it is wrong, it's such a great movie. CHRIS DESANTIS also got half a point, cuz he has a friend who, while in high school, ACTUALLY stood outside a girl's window and played "In your Eyes" on his boombox a la Lloyd Dobbler. What a huge loser. Also, very strangely, many people said "The Sure Thing" and "Better Off Dead". Movie hounds will immediately know that the unifying factor between all THREE of the above movies is John Cusack. Very odd. The correct answer is "Dumb & Dumber". BONUS: How fast must any object be going in order to escape Earth's orbit? (And yes, I got this from HBO last night.) "Faster than a locomotive! stronger than a silent e! able to leap capital t in a single bound!" - TRIP KIRKPATRICK (Bonus pts for the reference to "The Adventures of Letterman" from "The Electric Company".) Correct Answer: "24,000 mph." Just about everyone who got this one said that it was 25,000 mph. I swear I heard the guy say 24. Whatever. How accurate could a speedometer be at that speed, anyway? STEVE DIAMOND said that what is really being escaped is Earth's gravitational pull, not its orbit. Steve, I thought that orbits were caused by gravity. Screw it, if NASA ever gets to a point where they need to ask one of *us* for answers then we're all in trouble. Congratulations once again to our Big Winners. You are a credit to your species. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 04/07/98 Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 08:21:01 -0400 The Daily Answers 04/07/98 by Dave George "The thinking gal's Leonardo DiCaprio." ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * ELISSA JACKSON * * * ************************** Today's Big Winners: MELISSA BOWEN (Melissa, why can't your slacker boyfriend be as fine a contestant as you?) JAMES DONAHUE ELISSA JACKSON (Rock on, COW!) SCOTT MELL (Hey, look! It's Mell!!) TRIP MORANO SANDI ROTHMAN STEPHEN STEWART BIRGITT TANGERMANN and CHRIS WHITE!! IMPORTANT NOTE: Many of you may recognize that last name there as the man behind "The Top5 List", one of the Internet's most popular humor sites. (Something like 40,000 people on his mailing list alone.) Check it out at www.topfive.com. Today's winners will receive a very rare picture of the Snapple lady doing a situp. Way to go!!! 1. In the movie Point Break, what four presidential masks do the bank robbers wear? Correct Answer: "Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, and Lyndon Johnson." Close, but no cigar: "Van Buren, Harding, Taft and Filmore." - NICHOLAS PACE 2. Sure, Johnny Utah was a dumb name, but what would have been dumber? (Curious about the DQ's brutal suspension policy? Just try and insult the QuizMaster here.) "Bodhi" - MEREDITH LINBERGER (NOTE: This was Patrick Swayze's character in Point Break, and an attempt by the writers to bring a deep, mystical element to the movie. Remember when Lori Petty says "That's Bodhi. The Bodhisattva!"? Well, "Bodhisattva" is a Buddhist term which means a person who has almost achieved Nirvana (Enlightenment) and has vowed to help all others achieve it before he does. Sound familiar? That's pretty much the same crap Bodhi spouts throughout the movie.) Some other dumb names you submitted: "Johhny Dangerously" - MIKE HADLEY (Mike, "Dangerously" happens to be my middle name. What did I say about insulting me? You are suspended, my friend.) "Wanda Nevada" - BIRGITT TANGERMANN (Actually, that's a kinda cool name.) "Long Duck Dong" - CHRIS BLILEY ("What's a-happenin' hot stuff?") "Eileen Dover" - ELI KAILE (I think I met her this weekend at Music City Roadhouse.) "Provo Utah" - ALLISON PAGE "Port-a-Johnny Utah" - SANDI ROTHMAN "Johnny Bravo" - PAT GEORGE, NATE RIPPEL "Johnny Uzbekistan" - DAN RIPPEL "Elvis Grbac" - JP XENAKIS "Cole Trickle" - MELISSA SINUNU "Dick Trickle" - ROB WAGNER "Helen Chenoweth" - TOM BAKER (I think this may be someone Tom knows, so I had to include it.) 3. Let's continue with our discussion from yesterday's Bonus Question. What's the name given to the maximum speed an object will achieve in freefall? "Terminal Velocity" 4. "Can you count, suckers? I say the future is ours! If you can count! Now look at what we got here. We got the Jones Street Boys next to the Moon Runners. We got the Van Courtland Rangers next to the Rogues. And nobody is wastin' nobody. That is a miracle! And miracles is the way things ought to be. The problem is, can you make it with a little arithmetic? That's twenty thousand hard core members! I say the future is ours! Can you dig it? Can you dig it?! CAAAAAAN YOOOOU DIGGIIIIIT!!!?" The above quote is from the classic flick "The Warriors". SHARON TILLEY received an extra point for having named her dog "Cyrus", after the gang leader who said this quote. 5. For each of the following men in history, name the woman associated with his downfall: Jim Bakker - Jessica Hahn Samson - Delilah Hugh Grant - Divine Brown 6. What is the most important component involved in turning coal into diamond? "Cameron Frye's ass." - ELISSA JACKSON, MATT YOUNG Also accepted: "Pressure" 7. What basketball team did the Washington Generals lose to, night after night, for over 40 years? The Harlem Globetrotters 8. What singer is now standing by her creator, rather than her man? Tammy Wynette 9. Girl, you know it's true, this guy died last Friday in Germany. Rob Pilatus of Millie Vanilli "Probably faking this, too." - SEAN BOYLE 10. In order to pass his courses, Thornton Melon (played by Rodney Dangerfield) had to, amongh other things, recite what Dylan Thomas poem, written for his dying father? (If you don't know the name, just recite as much as you know of it.) "What great beast, sensing it's time come again, slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?" - SHANE SLEIGHTER (That ain't right, but, damn, that's a cool poem, Shane.) The name of the poem is "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Goodnight." Congratulations once again to our Big Winners! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 04/08/98 Date: Fri, 10 Apr 1998 10:12:50 -0400 The Daily Answers 04/08/98 by The Davidsattva Sorry for the lack o' DQ yesterday. My car hit a water buffalo. ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * ELISSA JACKSON * * * ************************** Today's Big Winners: TRIP KIRKPATRICK RENAE MARTIER COREY MCINTYRE TOM O'REILLY and ROB WAGNER!! These contestants win a biiiig, juicy burger. Oh, you're Catholic? Sorry, champ, guess I gotta keep it for myself. (I'm Catholic, too, but my dad is a deacon--Diplomatic Immunity.) 1. What is pus's main ingredient? A lot of people said "water". I guess that depends. The correct answer is "White blood cells", but I don't want to talk about it, and, frankly, I'm sorry I brought it up. Grossest Answers: "Blood" - SALLY STENGEL "Skin oil" - BIRGITT TANGERMANN 2. What's the name of the federal agency that audits other federal agencies? The General Accounting Office 3. Name the movie: "I was born a poor black child." Also, from the same the movie: "I was just listening to a song that reminded me of the way we were." "What song was it?" "'The Way We Were.'" The Jerk 4. What Baltimore Orioles player was the only one to hit a homerun on opening day of his rookie season? "Cal Ripken, Jr. He came up for a bit in 1981, and SUCKED, but didn't have enough at bats so he still qualified as a rookie in 1982. He started at third on opening day in '82, homered, and went on to be switched to shortstop by manager Earl Weaver, homer 27 more times, and won the Rookie of the Year Award. The Orioles almost won the AL East that year. They were three games behind Milwaukee with four games left, all against the Brewers. The Orioles won the first three games of the series to pull even with the Brewers and set up a winner-take-all season finale. The Orioles started future Hall of Famer Jim Palmer and the Brewers started future Hall of Famer Don Sutton in what was sure to be a nail-biting, seat of your pants kind of game. To top it all off, the Orioles long-time manager Earl Weaver had announced that he was going to retire after the 1982 season, and unless the Orioles beat the Brewers, this would be his last game as manager. The feeling across Baltimore, no, the nation, no, (Dare I say it) the WORLD, was that the Orioles would send the Brewers home crying as they went on to win the World Series under the watchful eye and veheming mouth of the Earl of Baltimore. Then the game started. Robin Yount blasted two homers and the Orioles got blown out, dashing the hopes of the blue-collared men and women of Charm City, including one teary-eyed twelve-year-old boy. On a positive note, light-hitting Orioles third baseman Glen Gulliver hit his only major league home run that day." - ROB WAGNER Wow! Thanks, Rob! 5. Does an electric eel *really* generate electricity? Good Answer: "Yes" - ROB BUCKANAVAGE Excellent Answer: "Yes, about 220 volts of it. All living creatures generate some electricity--if we were complete insulators, we wouldn't be able to pick up static and Simon Hernaez and I wouldn't have been able to torment that girl in 10th grade geometry." - TRIP KIRKPATRICK 6. Two-parter: What was the name of Greenpeace's flagshig? And what country was responsible for sinking it? Har! I misspelled "flagship"! Hooo!!! The following people are suspended for mentioning it: Nah, just kiddin'. I can lump it. Anyway, the shig was the Rainbow Warrior, and it was sunk by the French. I believe Greenpeace was protesting French nuclear tests, and the French figured they might as well test some smaller shaped charges while they were there. DQ FunFact: There was this really cheesy, late-80's tune from some band like "White Lion" or something that had a song with a chorus that went "Rise again, little fighter...". It was supposedly a tribute to the Rainbow Warrior. Gosh, that fact wasn't all that fun. Kinda sucked, really. Sorry. 7. In Schoolhouse Rock's "I'm Just a Bill", what exactly was the law which Bill was proposing? "The Bill of Rights" - TRIP MORANO "Marijuana Legalization" - JP XENAKIS "Partial-birth Abortions" - LESLIE MARIA "I am not sure but it was proposed by Senator Xavier Rufus Alexander Sasparilla." - DAN RIPPEL (I think Dan's actually right.) "Nothing in the song ever says what is being proposed." - TOM CLAY No, Tom, they don't ever SAY what law it is, but Bill explains how some people back home had an idea and they show a school bus having to stop at railroad crossings. 8. Where in Hollywood will you find the handprints of celebrities in cement? Mann's Chinese Theater 9. Speaking of cement, who was the Teamsters' most famous president? Jimmy Hoffa 10. On "The Larry Sanders Show", the funniest sitcom on TV, what is Hank Kingsley's catch-phrase? "Hey now!" Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 04/10/98 Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1998 10:05:57 -0400 The Daily Answers 04/10/98 by Dave George Our new Contestant of the Week is... DAVE ROGERS!!!! Dave is a shifty-eyed computer geek from Northern Virginia who enjoys hunting, playing the stock market and playing Nintendo. Dave has been instrumental in helping the DQ staff fix some of its more daunting technical problems. He was also my Taco Bell buddy along with DAVE HAGLER until I got staffed to a new client. Way to go, Dave!! Today's Big Winners: CHRISTINE CHALLAS TRACY GOEBEL MEREDITH LINBERGER ROB WAGNER and WILLIAM WALLACE!! Today's winners will each receive two tickets to next Saturday's NASCAR races at the Manassas County Municipal Motor Speedway and Taxidermy Center. (A whole slew of us went out there this weekend to watch as contestant BILL TYRREL'S brother, Timmy, drove his #23 Monte Carlo to a glorious and scratch-free finish.) **NOTE: Today's answers will be pretty much just the answers and not a lot of funny stuff. I'm in a hurry. 1. What was the most famous sitcom produced by Desilu studios? "I Love Lucy" 2. What is the next number in the following series? 3968, 63, 8, 3, ____ Correct Answer: "2" I also got a lot of "69". (I mean this weekend, not on this question.) Good heavens, when did this get so ribald? Sorry. Anyway, the pattern here was that each number was the square root of (the preceeding number + 1). **Technically, "-2" also works, but it doesn't fit the pattern best. 3. What is the British Prime Minister's address? "Email or snail mail? You really should be more specific." - SHARON PRESLEY (You're right, Sharon, I should. OK, everyone, listen up, Sharon's SPECIFIC email address is sharon.l.presley@slma.com. Please flame her.) The correct answer is "10 Downing St." 4. Who was Fred Flintstone's boss? Mr. Slate 5. Complete the quote and name the movie: "Keaton always said, 'I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him.' Well, I believe in God, but the only thing that scares me is _________ ____________." "Kaiser Soze" and "The Usual Suspects" 6. Kindly name three of Paul Simon's 50 ways to leave your lover. Slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan Drop off the key, Lee Hop on the bus, Gus Scholars have argued the merits of "Don't need to be coy, Roy" as one of the 50 ways. I did not accept this way, because it is clearly a way NOT to leave your lover. 7. What's the name of Israel's national airlines? El Al 8. What "Gonzo Journalist" wrote a great book about doing silly amounts of drugs in Las Vegas? Hunter Thompson. The book was "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas". 9. What was developed by deuteron bombardment of Uranium-238 in a cyclotron? The correct answer here is "Cheez Whiz". Nah, frankly I have no idea. 9. Just kiddin'. On the TV show, "The Fall Guy", what *TWO* jobs did Lee Majors' character have? Stunt man and Bounty hunter. 10. What Roman goddess was the month of April named after? This question was given to me by contestant JOHN HERING who SCREWED IT UP. It should have been "The Romans named April after what *Greek* goddess?" The correct answer is "Aphrodite". But if you said "Venus" you were extra right, because Venus was the Roman version of Aphrodite. (Apparently, though, the whole "Aphrodite" thing is open to argument, something I try to avoid here on the DQ, so let's just drop it.) Congratulations again to our Big Winners!!! Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 04/13/98 Date: Wed, 15 Apr 1998 08:22:39 -0400 The Daily Answers 04/13/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * DAVE ROGERS * * * ************************** The DQ has started a new little experiment. Remember CHRIS WHITE and his Top Five List? Well, he and his crack squad of comedy writers have joined the DQ as a single entity under the team name "The T5L Social Club". I send the quiz to Chris, Chris forwards it to his contributors, they conspire on the answers, and Chris sends them back to me. It's pretty much the same thing you do each day at *your* office, but we're making it official in this instance. This coalition appears to be the team to beat. We'll see. Pointless Note: Yesterday at Gold's, contestant ALLAN HERING dropped his towel on the treadmill while jogging and almost ate it in front of, like, a *zillion* chicks. It could have been *SO* funny. Damn. Today's Big Winners: JIM GILKESON KATE KIRKPATRICK NATE RIPPEL THE T5L SOCIAL CLUB ANGELICA VAUGHN and PETER WILLSEY! These contestants win a side order of hash browns. Way to go!! Note to HARRIS KAY: Yes, you would've won for the ditching work to play golf bit, but then you lost muchos pointos for misspelling "Maui". Sorry, tiger. 1. At the beginning of what movie were the following lyrics shown on the screen: "And these children that you spit on As they try to change their worlds Are immune to your consultations They're quite aware of what they're going through..." Correct Answer: - "The Breakfast Club" ANDREA IMPARTO got an extra point for telling us that David Bowie met his wife when they were both dating the same guy. Now, I'm as open-minded as anyone, but eeew. 2. And what word comes next in the above song lyric? Most people said "Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes", but I always thought it was "Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes". Can anyone settle this definitively? I will accept both answers until then. Could not accept: "Mmmmm Bop!" - ANGELICA VAUGHN "Baby, yeah." - MICHAEL HYLTON "Bucko!" - JIM GILKESON "Though" - STEVE BOSWELL 3. In the movie Top Gun, which volleyball player's shirt does not come off? Correct Answer: "Goose" "I always cry when Goose dies, but then my "life partner" always makes me feel better with a nice massage." - GEORGE PATCH (Sorry, George, I just thought your real answer was boring.) 4. Also, why is Charlie initially interested in Mav? Worst Answer: "His Father flew with His Father." - JOEL PFYFFER Joel, this movie is out on video now. You should watch it again. Correct Answer: "She wants to learn more about the MIG that Maverick and Goose saw up close." - TARA WHEELER By the way, someone help me out with something. In the movie, they say that they were inverted over the Mig while it was doing a negative 4 G dive. The hell they were. They were perfectly level, weren't they? Any pilots out there? 5. What is the only zodiacal sign that has claws? Many, many of you said "Cancer". No, crabs don't have claws. They have *pincers*. They have to in order for this question to work. Otherwise, I'm wrong and could be made fun of. No, the correct answer here is "Leo". Let us quickly forget about this question, and move on. 6. What is the name of the Air Force's aerial acrobatic team? The Thunderbirds. 7. Which member of the A-Team once flew for them? "Howling Mad" Murdock 8. Who was Hamlet's mother? "I knew this once." - KATHY WILLIAMSON (Good enough for me. Full credit.) Correct Answer: "Gertrude" Also Accepted: "Glenn Close" - ELISSA JACKSON, LISA FLINT, MATT GEORGE (Matt's my brother, and he's the only senior at Robinson High School who wears a pompadour. Rock on, Matt.) 9. In the movie The Breakfast Club, what is each of the students in Saturday detention for? John Bender (Criminal) Correct Answer: "Pulled a fire alarm." Andrew Clark (Athlete) Correct Answer: "Taped Larry Lester's ass cheeks together." Claire (Princess) "She needed a life lesson that only being in detention with those less fortunate than her. Fortunately, she was able to learn how to truly feel for someone else, which is signified by the end, when she gives John her earring. Also, I believe she gave him some booty in the closet." - SHANE SLEIGHTER Correct Answer: "Ditched school to go shopping." Allison (Basket Case) Correct Answer: "Nothing. She didn't have anything better to do that day." Yes, MIKE ROLFES, Allison should have received detention for that dandruff, but I can't give ya credit it. Brian (Brain) Correct Answer: "Flare gun in his locker." 10. In auto racing, what does the black flag signify? If a driver gets the black flag waved at him he must get off the track immediately. It's usually because he has something wrong with his car that makes it dangerous to drive. Or he has a phone call. Either one. I also accepted the answer, "Death Crash" from MIILIE PERRINE, cuz, you know, it's Millie. Congratulations once again to our Big Winners! Your pal, Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 04/15/98 Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1998 10:26:01 -0400 The Daily Answers 04/15/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * DAVE ROGERS * * * ************************** Deary, I was out boozing (again) last night and didn't get a chance to read *all* the fine, fine answers you kids submitted. So, if you feel that your hysterical/brilliant answers were left off please try to understand for one moment just how very, very important my drinking is to me. I mean, ya gotta have a hobby, right? (Truth be told, I was at the O's game.) Also, there have been a few letters of protest regarding the entrance of the T5L Social Club as a contestant coalition. The DQ has thrived on controversy since its inception last summer. (Remember when we heard from the Ticonderoga pencil company regarding the relative hardness between #2 and #3 pencils?) I have nothing else to say about this other than, yes, I have read your complaints and I know you've been sworn in. Today's Big Winners: SCOTT BAGER LISA HAJDO JOHN HERING JENNIFER KOSS LEETO TLOU PETER WILLSEY and MATT YOUNG!! These contestants win a "My Little Pony". Way to go!! 1. In what war was the Battle of the Bulge? World War II And while we're on the subject, you know what always bugged me? When Colonel Potter used to say "Back in WWI...", actually saying "double u, double u". I mean, why did he say it like that? It's no abbreviation when you say it, cuz you're actually using seven syllables instead of three. It only works when you write it. No wonder the 4077th was so screwed up. 2. What fraction of the vote is required in the House of Representatives in order to override a veto? 2/3 This was way too easy a quiz. You're in for it on today's. 3. In terms of what happens at conception, what's the biggest difference between identical and fraternal twins? "Fraternal twins never star in movies where one twin is evil and the other twin is angelic. And then one of the twins gets frozen and the other one is a doctor, but we the audience don't know which is which, and then the doctor operates on someones daughter and accidently puts a dog leg onto the little girl instead of a human leg and she has to limp around for the rest of the movie like some crazy dog-legged circus attraction but we STILL don't know if the doctor is the evil twin or not because maybe the dog-leg-transfusion saved the little girls life and there's a stalker loose but it may not be the doctor and they find water where the ice was SUPPOSED to be but there's NO EVIL TWIN! I hate those movies. I also hate eggs and how sometimes you can find two yokes in the same egg and sometimes you have to break TWO eggs to get two yolks. Just like fraternal twins." - SHANE SLEIGHTER That's actually pretty close, Shane. The correct answer, as just about everyone knew, is that identical twins come from one egg that divided, while fraternal twins come from two or more different eggs. 4. How come the Greatest American Hero couldn't fly worth a damn? He lost the instruction manual out in the desert, right after the aliens gave him the suit. This is an excellent argument for aliens to start putting the manuals online. Also, I can't remember who did it, and I don't have time to dig through all the quizes to find the guy, but somebody tried to be cool and include the lyrics to GAH, and wrote: "Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on in..." Oh man, if I could find your quiz we'd be making LARGE fun of you right now, my friend. 5. Which of the Mama's and the Papa's was a great big fat thing? Most of you knew that it was Mama Cass. A few of you added that she died while choking on a ham sandwich. This is not true. The coroner determined that she had a heart attack. When it was reported that a half-eaten ham sandwhich was on her nightstand people started spreading the rumor that she had choked on it. 6. What is "B" in the army phonetic alphabet? "Bravo" 7. In rappeling, what's the guy called who holds the rope at the bottom? The belay. Or "On belay". Whatever. 8. What is the latitudinal coordinate of the border between North and South Korea? The 38th parallel. (NICHOLAS PACE lost 5 pts for busting me on stealing this question from The Daily Show.) 9. Name the movie: "Attention: Here is an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal, I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jefferey Corbin who guessed 'some kind of beef.'" A lot of people said "M*A*S*H". It's actually "Meatballs". Rock on if you got this. It's such a great movie. 10. What meeting of "The Big Three" is generally considered to be the starting point for the Cold War? The Yalta Conference. Okey-dokey, congratulations once again to our Big Winne--ATTENTION! ATTENTION! I have just found the guy who thought that "The Greatest American Hero" theme song went "Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on in."!!! It was MICHAEL P. HADLEY!!!! BWAAAAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!! Sorry, Mike. Dave Subject: The Daily Answers 04/16/98 Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1998 08:27:07 -0400 The Daily Answers 04/16/98 by Dave George ************************** * Contestant of the Week * * DAVE ROGERS * * * ************************** Today's Big Winners: ANGIE BURKE JAMES DONAHUE MATT GEORGE LISA GOLDSCHMIDT KARI ROSSI and BIRGITT TANGERMANN!!! These contestants win a lovely pair of shorts. Note: ALLAN HERING would have been one of today's winners, but he got mad at me last night when we were driving home from a soccer game and I gave a fellow motorist an earful for pulling a boneheaded move in my path. (Al thinks I have rage issues.) (I mean, if I had left him alone he would have won, right?) 1. Where will you find the Sea of Tranquility? Since this was such an easy question we at DQ Headquarters could have gotten really technical and say that if you said "The Moon" or "Earth's moon" you were correct, but if you said "The moon" you were not specific enough. Dig, there are many planets out there with moons. *Our* moon is called "The Moon" (with a capital 'M'). (We won't get this nitpicky, but...) (MEREDITH LINBERGER, you got an extra point for saying "Earth's moon".) Rock on, Meredith! 2. How many labors did Hercules have to perform? 12 3. Name a task Hercules did NOT have to do? Note to KARL ROTHMAN: I will end sentences that are not interrogatory with a question mark if I want? "Bake the most delicious cake Zeus had ever eaten." - MATT GEORGE (Excellent, Matt.) (Matt is eight.) "Remove dingleberries from Rosanne Barr's ass." - DAN RIPPEL "Sleep with Roseanne." - ROB WAGNER "Switch places with Atlas to hold up Rosie O'Donnell's head." - ELISSA JACKSON "Look up stock quotes on the Internet." - CHRIS DESANTIS (No, and that's not one of your tasks either, Chris, get back to work.) (I was on a project with this guy.) "Mow the lawn." - CHRISTINE CHALLAS "Beat Danny Noonan in a golf game." - JENNIFER KOSS "#13" - GREG SADOSUK (Greg is absolutely correct.) As fine as all these tasks are, JP XENAKIS wins with "Buy tampons for his girlfriend." That *is* the hardest thing to do. (Getting a girlfriend, I mean.) 4. What is the name of the medieval science which attempted to turn other metals into gold? Alchemy 5. Who da man? A great many of you answered "You da man." That is correct. I am the man. "On tuesdays and thursdays, you da man. On mondays, wednesdays, and fridays, I da man. That's how a monogamous relationship operates in the penal system." - DON SWAIN (Oh, I remember you.) CABE FRANKLIN came close with his answer of his friend who is the Cubs press spokesman. I would like that job, because I don't know much about sports and even less about baseball and that would make for some pretty funny press conferences. 6. Who was Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's assistant on "The Muppet Show"? "Freda" - ALLISON PAGE (+1 for the great Fletch reference.) Correct Answer: "Beaker" 7. In what musical does Professor Higgins try to transform a lower class girl into a lady? "'My Fair Lady', the best musical ever." - SARA BRADLEY "'My Fair Lady', the worst musical ever." - KAREN SCHULSTAD 8. Who is the millionaire record company CEO who frequently attempts to break all sorts of daredevil records? Richard Branson, head of Virgin Records. CHRIS BLILEY received an extra point for sagely pointing out that Branson looks a lot like Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees. This reminds me (why, I don't know) that last night I was watching Letterman and Dave was going around the audience, asking people current events questions. Well, the first girl he picked was a young lady who used to be in my aerobics class at JMU! (Yes, I took aerobics. Until they asked me not to anymore.) Her name is Sonia Something and she cracked Dave up. He told her that she would get a free dinner for two, and she asked very sweetly if they could also throw in a pack of smokes. What a hoot! 9. What Missouri town has replaced Nashville as the country music capital of the world? Branson, Missouri. Dig what I did there with the two Bransons? I'm really tricky like that. I just love reading answer where someone says of the above question. "Oooh, I *know* this one! His name is on the tip of my tongue!" They never get it, but on *this* question they're like, "Branson". (A lot of you said "Who care?". This is also correct.) 10. Name the movie: "Do you know what a straight flush is? It's, like, UNbeatable!" "'Like unbeatable' is not unbeatable!" "Hey, I know that now! Okay?!" A couple of you made reference to George Michael here. I'd like this trash-talking about one of the greatest members of Wham! ever to cease immediately. Sure, he got caught shucking the corn in a public restroom, but who among us has never done that, huh?? Anyway, the correct answer here is "Honeymoon in Vegas", one of the finest cinematic masterpieces ever. Other great lines: "Do you find Chief Orman attractive?" "You're a striking figure, yes." Orman: "Do you like 'South Pacific'?" Nicolas Cage: "Doesn't everybody?" Mr. Miyagi: "Oh, everybody." "The four pools are here!?!" - MIKE MEDFORD "How about where Don Ho and Jack Lord live, that's got to be a pretty good neighborhood." - CHRIS BLILEY Actually, unless you've seen the movie these quotes don't seem all that funny. Sorry. Rent it tonight, thank me on Monday. And speaking of Nick Cage, ROB WAGNER wanted me to pass along to you this message: "I just saw 'City of Angels' and I cried my eyes out." (I do not believe him, because this is definitely a "date movie" and that would mean that Rob would've had to have found a date.) (Or was that why you were crying, Rob?) Congratulations once again to our Big Winners! Dave