Flirting Part 1

Flirting - Things To Avoid Flirting Things to Avoid
These are things that often don't work.
Trying to be cute. Unless you're a younger kid, being super
cute can become annoying even to the most immature
teenager.
Trying to be slick. Being slick sends a message that says
don't trust me I would make a good used car salesman.
Being nasty. Being rude, crud, nasty or obscene is a major
turn-off to many people. Let's face it, no one wants to hold
your hand after you pick your nose.

Acting stupid. Stupid is not cool.
Trying to be silly. Fun, yes! Silly, no! Being silly makes, you
look like a clown. Clowns are fun to watch, but who wants to
date a person with a red ball for a nose and big feet.
Whining. No one wants to hear your life story, details about
your last operation, people that you hate, your money
problems, and no one wants to here how your last crush broke
your heart.

Negative. Talking negative about people, things, school, or
whatever tells them you will talk negative about them. Think of
it like a pass-fail test and if you say anything negative you fail.
Being a goody-two-shoes. There is nothing more disgusting
than people that pretend to be so good they walk on water.
They judge others and they will judge you.
Being dishonest. If you lie, steal, or cheat get your act
together before you start dating. People with this behavior
start off like a rocket but they crash and burn just as fast.
Being a religious fanatic. If you ever get to be God maybe this
approach will work, but until then respect the beliefs of others
or they will avoid you like the plague. The exception to this is
someone you meet in church who shares your beliefs with
equal faith.

How to Flirt
Flirting is the art of getting noticed by your crush. The best
flirt's do it so it is fun, playful and just a little sexual. After all
you aren't just trying to get your crush's attention, you could
do that easily by shouting. Flirting is about getting his or her
attention in away that tells them you are sexually attracted to
them.

Flirting Tips
Let your interest show. There are few compliments as nice as
letting someone know that you are intensely attracted to them.
Don't be afraid of letting them know this and be prepared if
they are and ask you out.
Connect with them using eye contact. There is no easier way
to get someone to know that you are interested in them than
looking them straight in the eyes. Don't look below their neck
like you are checking their equipment, look into their eyes.
Glance at them often enough to let them know you are paying
attention to them but don't stare.
Be playful and fun. Flirting is about letting your crush know
that being around them makes you happy, excited, and a little
bit crazy. Don't be afraid to lightly tease them and giggle when
you feel excited for no reason. This will tell them two things
about you. First, that you feel very comfortable expressing
your feelings to them. Second, it shows that you are fun to be
around.

Touch them. Touching another person is a violation of their
personal space. This tells them the attention you are giving
them is more than casual friendship or curiosity. Find an
appropriate place to get close enough to brush against them.
For example you could, touch their arm sitting next to them,
bump your knee against theirs under the table at lunch, or
stretch your legs out touching their feet.

You don't want to appear pushy. Touch them briefly without
jumping back like you didn't notice what you were doing. You
want them to know that you did it deliberately. Keeping the
touches brief, light, and non-sexual will eliminate their fears so
they don't feel threatened.
Flatter them. Find ways to give them a compliment that is
sincere. Don't lie or you will blow the whole thing. Everyone
has something that makes them special. They may excel in
sports, music, personality, or friendliness. Look for things to
compliment in their appearance like their eyes, smile, hair, or
body if it truly is exceptional.

More Flirting Tips
Give your crush some little hints. You can do this a lot of
ways. In conversation you can mention you are not going with
anyone, mention places you miss going to or want to go to.
Talk about things you know both of you like doing. The goal
is to let them know that if they ask you out you are available.
Don't make it sound like you are desperate even if you feel that
way. If they are shy, this will relieve their worries about what
to do and where to go as a first date.
Hang out where they do. Find ways to spend more time near
them after school or after regular classes at the end of school.
This gives you more opportunity to flirt and changing your
routine just to hang around where they do will get you
noticed. Doing this also tells them you are willing to go places
they like and do things they like to do.
Be especially nice to them. Go out of your way to find ways to
be nice. Make room when their isn't any, help them carry their
books, help them with homework, or get them to join you and
your friends if they are alone.
Ask for help. Creating opportunities for them to help you will
boost their confidence and make them more comfortable
around you. Yes, I know it's sneaky, but it works. Pick
something you are sure they will do well like help you solve a
problem, getting your car started, or practicing a part in a play
with you. Give your crush some little hints. You can do this a lot of
ways. In conversation you can mention you are not going with
anyone, mention places you miss going to or want to go to.
Talk about things you know both of you like doing. The goal
is to let them know that if they ask you out you are available.
Don't make it sound like you are desperate even if you feel that
way. If they are shy, this will relieve their worries about what
to do and where to go as a first date.
Hang out where they do. Find ways to spend more time near
them after school or after regular classes at the end of school.
This gives you more opportunity to flirt and changing your
routine just to hang around where they do will get you
noticed. Doing this also tells them you are willing to go places
they like and do things they like to do.
Be especially nice to them. Go out of your way to find ways to
be nice. Make room when their isn't any, help them carry their
books, help them with homework, or get them to join you and
your friends if they are alone.
Ask for help. Creating opportunities for them to help you will
boost their confidence and make them more comfortable
around you. Yes, I know it's sneaky, but it works. Pick
something you are sure they will do well like help you solve a
problem, getting your car started, or practicing a part in a play
with you.

Asking for a Date
Part 1

There are about six billion people on earth and everyone one
of them feels nervous every time they ask someone for a date.
Let's face it, rejection sucks, but at least three billion people
have done it and so can you.
If you paid attention during the flirting phase you are at least
ninety percent sure how they will answer before you ask them
for a date. You should have found out if they were available,
what they like to do, and where they like to go. You should
have paid enough attention to know if they find you intimately
attractive or not. To move your relationship forward one of
you has got to take a chance and ask the other one for a date.
No guts, no glory. It is an old saying but one that is true at
least in dating. If you don't ask them out you may miss the
opportunity forever. The worst thing that can happen is that
they say no, but a rejection also has a positive side. If they do
say no, then you are no worse off than if you never asked. You
have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Preparing to ask.

Here are some guidelines that will help you be prepared to ask
for a date when the opportunity presents itself.
Make sure the timing is right. It doesn't do any good to ask
when they are emotional involved with someone else. The
same goes for you, if you are in a bad relationship they are
very likely to say no because no one wants to be blamed for
causing a relationship to break up, so end it before you ask.
Wait until they are available or at least seriously looking for
another relationship.
Decide where you want to go, what you want to do, and when
you want to do it. Pick a place, activity and time that will make
both of you feel as comfortable as possible. Pick the first date
assuming that there will be others to follow. Don't try to
impress them with an expensive date. Pick something that is a
lot of fun for both of you and allows time to talk and learn more
about each other. Give then at least two choices of things to
do and two days or nights when they can do it. If they suggest
doing something else or another time, go with it unless there is
some strong reason you should not because they will be more
comfortable doing what they want. You can't always do this.
There are situations like asking someone to go with you to the
prom when the place and time are already set.

Timing is everything. You can't expect them to say yes unless
you give them enough notice, but avoid giving to much notice.
The idea is give them time to buy a new dress, get their hair
done, get their parents approval, and take care of anything
other worries they may have that so they can say yes. You
may also need some time to get a hair cut, get the car washed,
buy tickets, or whatever. A week is usually enough notice, but
let what you learned about them during the flirting stage be
your guide. Don't ask a mouth in advance because that is way
to much time for things to go wrong.
Ask when both of you are having a good day. There is no time
more attractive than when you are feeling good, happy, and
self confident about yourself. Asking when you are feeling
down is simply going to get you a rejection making you feel
totally depressed. If they say no when you are feeling good, at
least you are feeling good enough to handle it. Give the one
you are asking the same consideration if at all possible. They
are more likely to say yes when they are feeling good also.

Asking for a Date
Part 2

How to ask?

There are several ways that you can ask for a date. Some are
more successful than others, but they all hope to accomplish
the same thing. The truth is only one of these methods works
well.
There are many variations of these methods, but basically they
come down to hoe close you are when you ask the question.
Here are the four basic ways for asking someone for a date.
Asking in person. This is the by far the best and most
successful way to ask for a date. It gives your total control of
when you do it, where you do it, and you can see immediately
how they react to going out with you. These are just some of
the reasons it is the best method to use.
Asking by phone. This method is has some major
disadvantages because you never know what they person is
doing when you call, who is with them, or their mood. So you
miss out on taking advantage of good timing. It is best used
for asking for follow up dates.

Asking with a note. This method is not as good as asking on
the phone. It has the added disadvantage of not being able to
gage their reaction at all. And you will still have to talk to them
to confirm the date. It really doesn't avoid talking to them, it
just delays it and forces you to make excuses for doing it. Try
to avoid this method if at all possible.
Asking through a friend. This method is the shy person's
method. It works sometimes, but not nearly as often as asking
in person. If you are shy or very sensitive using this method
might seem attractive. But keep in mind that you will be
rejected more often than not. And everyone can easily find out
that you were rejected because you used a third party. This
tends to feed your fears of ever asking someone in person. Try
to avoid this method if at all possible.

Asking for a Date
Part 3

What to say?

Knowing what to say can make things go a lot easier for you
and the person you are asking out. The idea is to keep it
simple, to the point, and very short. Asking for a date is a
simple question and dragging it out over several minutes of
conservation doesn't make it any better or easier. So whatever
you say, keep it short and sweet and don't even think about
using a pickup line. Pull yourself together for the three or four
seconds it takes to ask the question, and just blurt it out in
your calmest voice.
How to say it.
Here are a couple of examples of how you can ask the
question. Use your imagination to fill in the blanks.
Would you like go with me to __________ or ___________
this ___________ or __________ night?
I would really like to get to know you better, would you like
go with me to _____________ or ___________ this
______________ or ____________ night?

Informal Dates

There are many less formal situations that border on being
dates but are far less formal and therefore less threatening.
These situations accomplish the same thing as a formal date,
which is spending time with your crush, without the burden of
being a formal date like going to the prom.
Taking advantage of school projects.
Would you like do your science project with me? Would you
help me with my science project?
Would you like me to help you with your science project?
Take advantage of school games and practice.
Would you like to hang out together at the basketball game
Friday?
A few of us are going to the game Friday and for pizza after,
would you like to join us?
Take advantage of two events in one night.
Tim is having a party at his house this Friday after the game,
would you like to go?
A few of us are going over Tim's after the game Friday, would
you like to go?
Tim is having a party Friday, can you give me a ride after the
game?
If Tim is a good friend you could ask him to invite both of you
to the party separately.

None of the examples above use the word date.

This gives you and the person you are asking some wiggle
room if things don't go well. This is a good way to protect
your feelings because you can claim it wasn't a date it was just
an invitation to go do something between good friends. It also
keeps the one being asked from being put on the spot of
having to say yes or lose you as a friend. The advantage is it
keeps the door open for you to ask again when the timing is
better and your relationship has grown stronger.
If you learn anything on this page, it is that just about any
activities can be a date. What makes a date is spending time
together having fun and getting to know each other better.
Any date can turn into an opportunity to become more
intimate when both of you are ready.

Places To Avoid

Guys/Girls

Some places just don't make good places to go on a date.
Remember the goal of a first date is to get to know each other
better by doing something fun together.

Places to Avoid

Family Gatherings

Family is great but they aren't who you are trying to get to
know. Besides, think how much pressure your date will be
under with your family watching every move she makes.
Leave family out of it. This includes Thanksgiving dinner,
Christmas, family reunions, family barbeques, etc.

Wild Parties

Parties are great, but wild parties with drinking or whatever
are not. Besides, there will to many people around, to much
noise, to much drinking, and to much smoking to get to know
your date.

Hostile Places

Hostile places include any where that fights (physical or
verbal) for any reason are likely to occur. Even if it is your
favorite hang out, don't even think about taking a date there
unless you are certain that she will feel and be safe.

Movies

Going to the movies is an all time favorite date. But it doesn't
give you much time to get know your date or for her to get to
know you. Movies are good for second dates or latter. If you
do go to the movies, make sure you have some time before
and after just to spend talking.

Where to Go Guys/Girls

First dates are always difficult because both people are trying
to impress the other. Picking the right place to go can help
both of you get through the date a little easier and a lot
happier. Let's face it, if she doesn't have a good time with you,
your chances of getting a second date go way down. On the
other hand, if she has a great time with you and a lot of fun,
your chances of getting a second date is nearly certain. Where
you go on dates can make a big difference in the success of
your social life.
Here are some thing to think about.

Pick something you know.

First dates aren't good times to experiment. Pick a place you
have been to often enough to know it will be fun. It will give
you greater confidence and relieve stress worrying if the place
is going to be what you expected.

Pick something you like.

First dates should show you at your best. One way to make
sure you are your best is to do something that you really like.
Try to pick something your date will like just as much as you
and you will be a real winner.
Pick something you can afford.

First dates should show you like you really are. Spending a lot
of money can be a big mistake. Can you afford to spend the
same amount on the next date or the one after? Sooner or later
you will end up disappointing them. They never get to know
who you are because they are so impressed with what you
spent. Keep it cheap and you will be a bigger success.

Pick someplace close.

First dates shouldn't take long to get to where you are going.
The truth is a 20 minute walk is far better than driving a car,
riding a bus or a subway. The walk gives you time to really
talk and more important time for you to listened.

Pick something non-competitive.

First dates should make both of you winners. Competitive
things like boweling, shooting pool, tennis, etc. ends up with
one of you being the loser. Pick something non-competitive so
both of you are winners together.

Pick something that gives public time.

First dates should give you some public time together. Public
time is when you and your date are together around enough
people that you can't really talk intimately with each other.
Public time can help break the ice with your date and gives
you a chance to see how she responds to being with you in
front of her friends or at least in public. Public time is also safe
time for both of you. There is less pressure on either of you to
be romantic and more focus on just being together doing
something.

Pick something that gives intimate time.

First dates should give you some intimate time together.
Intimate time is anytime you and your date are alone enough
to talk intimately or kiss without anyone listening or watching.
This is the time you need to tell her how you feel about her,
hold hands, embrace, hug, kiss, and whatever. Make it the end
of the date because you want her to go home feeling great
about you and the time you shared together. Keeping on the
end, lets you cut it short without appearing to if things aren't
working out between you.

Pick something that lasts a few hours.

First dates should be kept relatively short. Use the first date as
a get to know each other date. Keep in mind that things might
not work out and one of you may want to go home early. If
you are doing something that doesn't take all day, either of
you can politely tough it out until it is over.

Keeping the main activity relatively short also gives you more
time to get to know each other. Go someplace after the main
event that gives you a chance to talk more. By this time, you
and your date are getting to know each other and you are
getting alone pretty good. You have sometime to go have
something eat, a drink, take a walk, or whatever while both of
you are feeling comfortable with each others company. Take
advantage of short dates.





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