Sometimes you can simplify difficult things, make them elegant and symmetrical and perfect, by replacing the details with symbols.

I created a ritual for myself to help me cut off my hair. It was falling out from the chemotherapy, the clumps coming out in the shower were a constant daily reminder of my sickness, and the random strands all over the house were an annoyance as well. I knew i needed to let it go, but even though i've had short hair before i felt a little reservation. I was enjoying having long hair again, being able to put it up with a pen, or a spoon or whatever...

But one day i woke up with an idea in my head, a symbolic explanation for my hair. I remembered that buddhist monks shave their heads as a symbol of letting go of the material world in search of the spiritual (mental/mind-oriented as opposed to physical/body-oriented), that some hindus shave their heads when they start with a new guru, as a symbol of their rebirth with this master, and also that hassidic women shave their hair off at marriage as a symbol of releasing themselves from vanity (though then they go & wear wigs so that one makes less sense :)). Anyway, what occured to me was the letting go of one's hair is commonly used to symbolize letting go of the less important, worldly things in search of a new and deeper understanding. So my hair falling out was the universe imposing on me a spiritual rebirth. My cancer could be seen as a way to learn. With this new extrapolation, I decided to shave my hair off as a way of accepting this journey. I do think I'm learning some things. Nothing I didn't already know, but still I didn't know them before... You know? I called a friend and explained my interpretations and she agreed to be my high priestess /mistress of ceremonies etc. She wore a fabulous afro wig stuffed with easter eggs and feathers, a wonderfully tacky easter dress and silver-glitter grannie glasses. I took the day of easter, festival of eastre, norse goddess of spring, and celebration of the rebirth of the son of man, to do my own rebirthing ritual. This year, easter also happened to fall on the birthday of William Shakespeare, who of course I admire greatly, so that was a nice little benefit.

Of course i don't take this literally (the universe didn't design chemotherapy) but the symbolic helped me turn something that could have been negative into a positive experience. With each swipe of the clippers, my friends shaved off a specific negative feeling - fear, pain, anger, self doubt, self pity, etc - and left me feeling much stronger and happier. We read some stories about the symbolism of hair, and joked about which bad punk haircut i had along the way. And being the kooky artsy type i used the hair shaved off to decorate easter eggs... Point being, symbolic events can help you to transcend the day to day, when such transcendence is needed. A person can transform the painful into the beautiful. We cry in awe, at beauty and in pain, but through ceremony we can alter the nature of the painful, so that it has a meaningful/beautiful element to it.