Frodo Baggins? Please Have A Seat.
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A/N:
Heyo all! This is based on the Obnoxious power wrought survey done by AK.
Thankies, for letting me extend on such a wonderful idea!!!!
Now,
on with the first victim. . .
1. Q: Hello, good morning Frodo. How are you?
A: *mumbles* I’m fine . . . no, really, I feel great! Nooo! Get away from me!
*covers face*
2. Q: So, your uncle, Bilbo gave you this One Ring, did he?
A: Yes, my . . . precious . . . *starts to stroke ring on chain*
3. Q: Err, wasn’t that thrown in the fires of Mt Doom?
A: Anything is possible in the world’s of fandom, Aman’mai. Even you should
know that . . . *straightens*
4. Q: Yes, I do, of course. What was your official title?
A: The RingBearer.
5. Q: Did that job bother you?
A: Yes, all the time. Especially with Boromir trying to get it all the time. My
poor . . . precious . . . *starts stroking again*
6. Q: Do you like Men?
A: I *hate* them all! They are too tall!
7. Q: What about Aragorn?
A: Well, he was ok I guess . . .
8. Q: Faramir?
A: He was ok too . . .
9. Q: Eowyn?
A: No comment.
10. Q: Eomer?
A: Who? Oh him, he’s ok I guess . . .
11. Q: So you don't hate them all, do you?
A: Most of them!
12. Q: What are your thoughts about Aragorn becoming the King of Gondor?
A: *shrugs* He’ll do a good enough job, I expect.
13. Q: How do you feel about Gollum’s death?
A: He was so cute there . . . of
course, Sam didn’t like him much, but I pitied him.
14. Q: Please, many fanfictors would like to know that, in an all-male group,
were there any relationships?
A: Gimli and Legolas got on well.
15. Q: Wouldn’t the height difference make it difficult?
A: Oh no, Legolas would just bend down or bring Gimli a box to stand on.
16. Q: What about Merry and Pippin?
A: They’re good friends.
17. Q: Are you sure?
A: *smirk* Yes.
18. Q: What was with Boromir and that Horn of his? Was it a trophy of a sort?
A: Yes, he kept on asking us all if we’d like to try blowing it, but I
didn’t want to summon the armies of Gondor for just a little fun.
19. Q: How do you feel about Boromir dying to save you?
A: Good Riddance.
20. Q: But he saved the Ring from falling into Saruman’s hands!
A: Hah! That’s what he thinks, but I would have gotten away easy.
21. Q: What was it like being separated from Sam in Mordor?
A: It was terrible, the orcs couldn’t even mash the taters properly. I missed
Sam a lot during that time.
22. Q: How do you pronounce Eomer?
A: Ae-oh-mer. It’s the same for Eowyn if you’re asking.
23. Q: Oh. How's Sauron doing?
A: He's suffering the comfort of living in a trailer with Morgoth somewhere in
the Australian out back, somewhere in the Simpson Desert I suspect.
24. Q: What was it like meeting Galadriel?
A: She’s so annoying! All the time she kept asking me if I was sure and then
she started talking in my mind . . . I swear,
I thought I’d go crazy!
25. Q: What's it like being a hobbit?
A: Petite.
26. Q: Hardy Ha ha. Did you like Lothlorien?
A: No, it was too green everywhere and the architecture gave me a headache. M C
Escher, eat your heart out.
27. Q: What did the balrog look like?
A: Well, it had no wings for a start and lots of fire everywhere.
28. Q: Oh?
A: Yeah, it was so big too! I held it off for as long as I could on that bridge
and then I . . .
29. Q: Wasn’t that Gandalf?
A: Mmmm . . . maybe.
30. Q: Did you know that the ring’s evil?
A: No kidding.
31. Q: Can I have a look at it?
A: **** you!
32. Q: Oh well, I’ll just have to go fetch Gandalf since you seem to be
getting too attached to that thing, I believe he thinks you got rid of it.
A: No! It doesn’t mean a thing to me!
33. Q: Really?
A: Yes! Just don’t tell Gandalf, will you?
34. Q: Sorry, I ask the Questions around here.
A: Why?
35. Q: Because I’m the interviewer and you’re the interviewee, geddit?
A: Fine. *grumps*
36. Q: Are you ok?
A: Haven’t you asked that question before?
37. Q: Oh, right. And don’t ask me questions! I ask you the questions around
here!
A: Fine. *grumps a bit more*
38. Q: We’re up to question 38 now.
A: Really? How interesting.
39. Q: How are you feeling today?
A: That’s the third time you’ve asked that question! You’re running out of
questions aren’t you?
40. Q: Mmmm . . . maybe. Hang on, I do the questions around here. I’m going to
go off and find a better and more suitable candidate to be my interviewee. Good
bye.
A: Bye.
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Hah!
What an ungrateful little hobbit!
Frodo: Mwahahaha, whom shall we send this survey onto now, my precious? *evil laughter fades softly*
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