Mr Legolas Greenleaf... *THUD*
A/N: Thanks for the review. I enjoy getting reviews. I hate to sound greedy or anything but . . . please can I have some more? I mean, one is a LOT but more would be nice. Don't worry; the 'Go' button below won't blow up anything if you press it . . .
Also, I've put a few Very Secret Diaries References in it, which belong totally to Cassandra Claire.
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1. Q: Hello, and your name is . . . ?
A: Legolas Greenleaf, haven't you heard of me?
2. Q: Well, yes of course. *Looks flustered* Uh, Legolas, how old are you?
A: My age is like a good wine: it only gets better as it grows older and more wiser. *Pose*
3. Q: Uh, yes. *Wipes trickle of sweat off forehead* Legolas, what does that mean?
A: It is elven for Greenleaf.
4. Q: So your name is Greenleaf Greenleaf?
A: Are you trying to poke fun out of my name, for if you are, I shall punish you accordingly. *Pulls dagger out of it's sheath*
5. Q: Uh no, of course I wasn't making fun! Err, next question: Frodo tells us that you got on well with Gimli?
A: Quite, he's a very energetic fellow for a dwarf, and he didn't talk of mines the whole time- especially after he saw Moria . . .
6. Q: Frodo also mentioned that Merry and Pippin got along well too.
A: Ah yes, those two. *Sigh* they hit off like a house on fire right from the beginning.
7. Q: That wasn't the case with you and Gimli, was it?
A: No, most elves hate dwarfs. A mutual feeling between both races. But then, we were both the lone supporters of each of our races so we had a lot in common.
8. Q: Such as?
A: Oh, having a leading person of the community as fathers, expected to follow footsteps, that kind of thing.
9. Q: What was it lie traveling with the King of Gondor himself?
A: Oh it was quite an experience, let me tell you. He never washed his hair once unless he fell into a creek or something. That really got on my nerves. Everyone needs to learn to respect their hair. I mean. I respect mine and just look at it!
10. Q: Yes, there are rumours that you washed it almost constantly and once were found in Galadriel's mirror because you couldn't find an available bath. Is that true?
A: Quite. I also borrowed her shampoo - strawberry scented! But then she accused me of leaving hair in the drain *pout* I haven't lost a single hair from this head for over 500 years.
11. Q: Really? I think it looks wonderful. *Tears gaze away from heavenly face to look down at paper* had you met Galadriel before coming to Lothlorien with the Fellowship?
A: Oh yes. Me and Galadriel go a long way. Her and my mother were very good friends, I like to go over o Lothlorien during the summer, it's so beautiful then.
12. Q: Frodo didn't like it much, would you like to know why?
A: Bah, hobbits! You can never trust them to sense true architectural genius when it's right under their nose.
13. Q: A lot of LotR fans know of Figwit, are you in anyway related to him?
A: Figwit? Who's he?
14. Q: You know . . . "Frodo Is Great, Who Is That?" He was at the Council of Elrond.
A: I'm sorry, I don't know everyone at Rivendell, he was probably trying to out pretty me. Hmm, I'll have to ask Elrond about that one . . .
15. Q: I beg your pardon?
A: Oh, Elrond's a good friend of dad's that's why he sent *me* to go . . .
16. Q: No, what was that about pretty?
A: Oh come on! Everyone knows I'm the prettiest! I try so very hard, you know. Galadriel sometimes tries to upstage me, but she'll never get her way. And I took care of Eowyn . . .*cackles*
17. Q: What did you do to Eowyn?
A: Her? Oh, I married her off to that Faramir guy. Hah! Everyone knows what childbearing does to the figure.
18. Q: Faramir's brother, Boromir died during the quest of the Fellowship. How did you feel about his death?
A: Very sad actually. He was a good companion; I'm only sorry I never had a turn of blowing his Horn when he'd asked me to. *Shakes head* I'll miss him.
19. Q: What did you think of Strider when you first met him?
A: Strider? Oh, Aragorn. He has so many names, you know? Sometimes one just can't keep up.
20. Q: Yes, many fanfictors agree, err . . . what did you think about Aragorn?
A: He was ok. A bit obsessed but on the whole, he was pretty cool.
21. Q: Aragorn, obsessed? About what?
A: Well, first it was the whole king thing. He was quite impatient to reclaim his throne and more than a little jealous of mine. And then . . .
22. Q: What?
A: The hobbits, of course. "Oh no, the hobbits will freeze, we must carry them" then Boromir and him had a fight about who would carry Frodo . . . Aragorn won after stuffing Frodo down his pants.
23. Q: Aragorn? I thought he was with Arwen?
A: Yeah, well. You know how things can change over a few months. I mean, out in the wilderness with only male companionship can do things to a man's brain after a while.
24. Q: But are you ok?
A: Me? Of course I'm ok. I am immortal, aren't I? And please, with these looks? I'm a ladies man. *pose*
25. Q: So, most of your fans have been holding on for this question: are you single?
A: Of course! Though I need to go over to Gimli's next week . . . nothing permanent, you understand. Just a quick blow.
26. Q: A what?
A: Gimli's studying to become a hairdresser- after he taught me how to braid my hair like he does his beard, I persuaded him to take it up. He tried to teach the rest of the Fellowship too, but the hobbits' hair was too short and Aragorn didn't want to muss up his "manly" style.
27. Q: Ah yes, well. While we are on the subject of the Fellowship, did you have any impulses to get the ring off Frodo?
A: Oh no! I thought it was quite tacky. Honestly, those rings may have been fashionable to wear a few millennia ago but definitely not today.
28. Q: What was it like fighting in Helm's Deep?
A: Well, it was tough, I'll grant you that. Especially since that brat Eomer had stolen half the army for some picnic . . .
29. Q: Err, he was exiled and those were the men loyal to him.
A: Really? Well, we still could have used them and then Gandalf comes in, fashionably late of course, and save the day! Really, just when we were doing our little suicidal last stand, Granddad and the brat come in and spoil all the fun.
30. Q: But you would have been killed otherwise!
A: Bah, we would have run over all of them, easy.
31. Q: The odds were 10-1!
A: The poor orcs . . .
32. Q: Err, riiiight. There are rumours about that you and Gimli are going to sail.
A: It's still in the works but hopefully it won't be happening anytime soon. *Winks*
33. Q: *stares for a moment before remembering herself* In Helm's Deep, it is mentioned that Eowyn wanted to fight, how do you feel about women fighting?
A: Oh I don't have anything against the principal, just seeing Eowyn trying to those sword forms *shudder* and she actually picked up Aragorn . . .
34. Q: We hear that there is going to be a party in Mirkwood, soon.
A: Yes, it's to celebrate my princiness.
35. Q: Princiness?
A: Yes. All the elves come to celebrate me being prince! It so fun. Lots of shiny things and glitter and . . .
36. Q: Legolas . . . *glances around nervously* if you could kiss anyone, who would you kiss.
A: You.
37. Q: Really? Do you really mean that? *Perks up and offers lips*
A: No. *Aman'mai slumps, disappointed* I would like to see what it would be like kissing an Entwife.
38. Q: A what?????????
A: You know, Entwives. Treebeard talks about them all the time when I go visit (he's really, very sweet). He tells me all sorts of things about them . . .
39. Q: Well, I'm sure you can tell me about that later, hmm?
A: Oh yes, and did you know that these Entwives have HUGE . . .
40. Q: Sorry, last question. Goodbye, Legolas Greenleaf, prince of Mirkwood.
A: What? Oh, bye!
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::sniff::
He really got my hopes up for a minute there . . . entwives . . . ?
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