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This is my 4th fiction in the "Fear of Darkness" Series.
Meanwhile, deep within my mind, a war was being waged. I walked through the paths in my mind, seeing memories I'd rather avoid. Seeing my foster father again. Reliving my beatings, over and over again. Being locked in the closet. I felt every strike as if it were fresh, and the pain was unimaginable agony. I kept reliving my last beating, which had been one of the worst. All of this seemed to endure an eternity and feelings of loneliness seemed to overwhelm me, but for some strange reason, I knew it wasn't real. If it wasn't real, maybe I could actually face them. That thought gave me some pause, but I knew deep down, I had to face my past, someday. Maybe with these new abilities, I could. I wished I could kill my foster father, for inflicting this pain, and horror onto me. But, I knew I would never do that, since it was against the fiber of my being. An instinct overtook me. With a detached mind's eye, I saw my foster father, as if I were an objective viewer watching a film.
I saw. I felt. I heard. An illumination of insight flooded my soul! The foster father was simply doling out what he thought was right. That he had probably been beaten when he was young as well. Venting his anger, at me, since I was an easy target. With that... I suddenly realized. It wasn't my fault. I know that he probably didn't know any better, but I know I will be angry with him for a long, long time. Logically, I knew that I would forgive him, eventually. With that admission to myself, the emotions and my memories, seemed to coalesce into a peace. I drifted away from my memories into my soul.
Kevin sat there, staring at my motionless body, and saw that I had moved my hand. Kevin shouted, "He's coming to!" Adam and Ami came running over to Kevin. Ami knelt before me, and shook my shoulder gently. At that touch, I slowly opened my eyes, and groaned. I clutched at my forehead. "Damn..I have a headache. What happened?" I blinked rapidly, and stared at the trio surrounding me.
Ami chuckled. "You ...umm..blacked out, Boyd. Do you feel okay?" I nodded, curiously at peace with myself, and smiled uncertainly.
Kevin smiled broadly, and said, "We were worried about you!"
Adam smiled. "Boyd, will you be okay? You had us worried for a while. " He had an unreadable expression on his face. I prompted Adam, "W-what is it? You don't want me here?"
Adam, surprised, stammered, "No-o! Um.. Where do I start? Ami... "
I prodded Adam some more. "Yes...Ami...?"
Adam sighed. "Ok. Ami put her hands on your chest, and umm..she had a vision of your breakout..or at least the few minutes, I guess, before you came here."
"Oh." I looked down at myself, in a somewhat ashamed, and guilty look. "So...that means you don't want me around?"
Kevin rushed to reassure me, "No. We want you around. Just that... you can share anything you want with us. Even if it's just me. Or Ami. Or Jade, or one of the others."
"Others? Oh yeah..Jade. And Megabyte." I replied.
Kevin nodded simply. Ami smiled sweetly, and patted my shoulder. "It's okay Boyd. We as a TP must share things sometimes, if it's too big to carry."
I smiled at Ami. She was right. I did feel better. Oddly enough I didn't feel any jitters, or nervousness toward Ami, Adam, or Kevin. They felt like they belonged with me, and me with them.
"Ok. I have a story to tell you guys.... Jade and Megabyte should be here too. I'm not telling this twice!" , was my comment ending with a chuckle. Ami grinned at me. "You want to do the honors?"
"Why not?" [ Jade? Megabyte? Wanna come to the beach? I got a story to tell. ], was my broadcast thought to them.
[ Sure! I LOVE stories....], piped up a bubbly girl's thought. Megabyte sent her a thought, [ It's not a fairy tale, Jade! ] Jade grumbled in her thoughts. [ A story is a story, Megabyte. ] She materialized by Adam's side in a white static burst. I waved to her. "You must be Jade." Adorned in a light blue turtleneck sweater, and jeans, with a ponytail, this young teenager smiled at me, nodding. Megabyte sent a thought toward me, [ Are you sure? ] I sent him a mental nod, along our link. He teleported onto the beach by Ami, and smiled at me. Megabyte ribbed Jade for a moment or two. I smiled as the camaderie was apparent in the group. I cleared my throat. That got everyone's attention riveted onto me, but not to the point that I felt uncomfortable.
"Ok. Once upon a...." Megabyte groaned, which elicited laughter from the others. I smirked. "I know how to tell a story, and that isn't it, unless it's a ....fairy tale." I grinned at Jade. She pouted prettily and chuckled, and nodded at me to continue. I looked down at my trembling hands, trying to remember the beginning, and struggling to get the words out. I took a deep breath, and took the plunge.
Memories flooded back, as if it had happened yesterday.....
"Once upon a time, 10 years ago, I was placed into foster care, because my parents had -- had... been killed in a car accident." At that memory, my eyes began to swell with tears, that threatened to overflow. My throat choked, and I couldn't continue. I felt an hand touch my shoulder, which made me look up into Kevin's eyes. Caring eyes, and Trusting. I smiled softly, wiping the tears away from my eyes, and sniffling a little. "Thanks...Where was I? Oh yes... I had been at home with a friend of my parents. At first, he was so loving, and so caring. I don't really know when it had really changed for him and I. My parents were so loving, and nuturing, so those memories were really rare and precious to me. I had grown up in Tallsburg...", which drew a gasp from Kevin.
I gazed at Kevin, "What?"
Kevin said, "That's where I live too! I *knew* you seemed familiar." He recollected himself, and nodded at me to continue.
"....Back in Tallsburg, I lived a happy life with my Foster father, for about 7 years, then he got laid off, and found another job. But, that seemed to make everything worse. I seemed to have grown something he detested to look at. I don't really know why I was to blame. I was starting to be beaten, or locked in the closet, whether he required privacy..."
Jade blanched. Ami looked nauseous, and incensed. Adam, although, seemed to be furious, barely holding his own temper, clenching his fists, but remaining silent. Kevin, on the other hand, was oddly silent. Too silent.
"....Small beatings usually had happened because of something that went wrong at work. I supposed that his job wasn't satisfactory. And it didn't help that he was ugly, because he never brought anyone home. It didn't occur to me why though, but he did feed me, when he remembered. It got progressively worse as I got older. Maybe he got jealous of me, or something. And it continued up to the point where I broke out. "
The Tomorrow People had a mixture of reactions, anger, worry, incensed, furious, horror, among nausea. I sighed. Ami was the first to speak up, "....Boyd... I'm sorry. He should have NOT done that. I know how you feel." I nodded. "He's just doing it because he had no other way to vent. I know that it is NOT my fault. I feel at peace about it."
Adam inquired, "But? How? So soon? No offense but I would think coping with it would take longer?"
I smiled, for a second, then furrowed my brow. "Uh... I don't know. It's just a feeling."
Kevin stared at me, with a questioning glance. An unspoken feeling ran between us, but it eluded my definiton, as to what it was. Kevin noticed this as well, and cocked his head questioningly.
[end part 4]
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