I walked in the darkened arena. I always arrive earlier than I need to. Only this time, I'm gonna be on camera. I won't be sitting in the back in the locker room making sure some rabid fan doesn't steal Wedgie and Pisspan's gear. Gangreen on the other handwell, I could care less if someone stole his stuff. He gives me the creeps, always has. I think I automatically avoid anyone that resembles a bloated tick. Most people look at me funny when I talk about my brothers. I mean, how many people can get away with calling Edge and Christian Wedgie and Pisspan? Gangrel doesn't like his nicknames for some reason, I don't know why.

I get oogled by the guard as I walk in, big surprise. Long blonde hair, big boobs, and long legs. What a killer combo. Chicks glare daggers at me and men point their dicks at me. I'm so lucky. Few people ever come close enough to see my face. Most of the time I have sunglasses on with a bandana covering my forehead and holding back my hair.

As I close the door and sit down at the mirror I look hard at the face looking back at me. I'm tanned like Edge, with his sharp features and feral eyes. But my lips and nose are Christian's entirely. I smile as "My boyfriend's back" comes on the radio. I turn it up and start applying my gothic makeup. Most people assume I'm into the whole Heavy Metal and Angry Girl Rock because of my appearance. I listen to it yeah...But I'm more into oldies. 50's and early sixties mainly. The CD's I carry with me are the Ronnettes and the Righteous Brothers. Plus a few CD's and tapes I've made myself from the radio. I finish my makeup, Wedgie picked it all out no blush, black eye makeup, red lipstick, and a little glitter across my shoulders and collarbone area. I slide into the dress Pisspan picked for me. At first glance it looks like one of his old white frilly shirts, only it leaves my shoulder bare and is tight fitted in the waist. The low cut neckline shows off my "ample bosom" with out showing everything. It hangs to mid thigh with a little frilly border at the bottom. My shoes are really simple, white "Pretty Woman" boots. I get everything in place and look in the mirror. Wow, I look good! The boots make me almost 6'. Damn, I hope my brothers don't decide I'm too sexy- I like my new look! Poor Debra, not only is she gonna have me to worry about kicking her ass tonight, but she has to worry about the fans forgetting about her! Well, I guess it's time for me to go find the Doofus Duo and Mongrel of the Rolley Polley People...together they make...The Fruite Broodie!!

I'm walking down the hallway towards the ramp, the oogling has turned to looks of fear, uncertainty, contempt and confusion. I hear the whispering, how could I not. I'm just glad that nimrod Rena "Sable" Mero is gone. She always tried to piss me off. It never worked, just got old. I think she didn't like me coz her hubby was always hitting on me. I might be wrong, but that normally pisses women off. Most of the guys oogle and make rude comments. Except Kane. My Big Red Kandy Kane. He's so sweet. Like a little brother...in spirit anyway. I smile at the memory of him coming to my rescue, I was the typical damsel in distress. I couldn't get my suitcase out of the trunk. Now I'm not a wimp by any means. But that was a big ass suitcase! Heavy too. And the Big Red "Retard" came over and got it out and carried it to my room. Ever since I've been a good friend to him. He's sweet underneath his calm, "dumb" exterior. He's pretty smart too. Just really shy and insecure. I think I'm the only person he really talks to, well, I *was*. Until *he* came along.

I glare at the monitor by the curtain. Waiting to make my entrance for the next match. It's Kaney and Him. The little green poster boy for caffeine overdose. Other wise known as X-Pac. Sean Waltman. The Degenerate.

My unladylike snort at his broncobuster draws a few stares. Who cares? The weenie is probably gonna do damage even I can't fix. Little hyperactive freak. At least the match is over with. I never give Kaney hugs in public. Too many rumors would start. I'm sure someday I'll come to his rescue. Right now he has the little shriveled pea to watch his back. Now there's a comforting thought. I try not to let my emotions show as the nimnaw walks by patting my precious on the arm and back. I'm so proud of my little Kaney, he's got a belt to wear. Yeegads I feel like a granma crooning at my grandson the first time he takes a piss in the toilet on his own. Oh well, plenty time for kids and grandkids later. Now it's time to save the Unholy Trio from certain jobberdom. I grab my bucket of "blood" (too which I've added a certain something extra for Miss Debbie) and sneak to the ring...

Wow, this is easy. My first appearance on camera and no one's seen me yet. Not even the camera guys. I guess their too busy checking out Debra's silicon. I'm proud of my natural boobs, except when I can't get a button up shirt closed...then I get a tad annoyed.

Oh good the match is over. Time for Deb's shower. The music hits and the guys run off as I dump the goo on her. I dive into the trap door in the ramp and hurry back stage. I run to the locker room and flop down between my brothers.

"Way to go Rae!!" Edge giggles, trying to hug me.

"Eww, get off!! Like I'm gonna let a sweaty oaf like you hug me?! Go take a shower! Same to you Chris!" Grel just glares at me as I turn on the monitor. The announcers are talking about how the figure in the dark giving the blood bath was defiantly female. Duh, I'm surprised they even know what a female looks like in the dark... Dude, Debs looks good in the red drowned sewer rat look! I'll have to compliment her!

"Why are you getting involved?" Grel growls at me as soon as the Duo are out of earshot.

"Coz they asked me too." I respond sighing heavily. "it's my sisterly duty to help them out in any way I can. And believe me, you three need all the help you can get. Especially since with out *me* it's the blonde leading the blond-"

"I'm in charge. ME!" he hisses and stalks out. I laugh when he leaves. He's so funny when he gets pissed off. He gets this funny little lisp thing going. One time he cut open his lip yelling at Median. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed my pants.... Viscera did. Gawds I'm so glad the Brood left the ministry. I couldn't take much more of the stupidity...

Well, it's been two weeks. The little pipsqueak is still with Kane. They've lost the belts too...And Undie is trying to weasel his way back in my cherub's life. I'm thinking with the break down of the Brood- Hey don't blame me, how was I to know Gangue was allergic to peanuts? and citrus fruits? and Cat fur? And Feathers? And it's not my fault he can't take a joke either...

Anyway, I'm thinking that with the Brood not needing anymore of my divine inspiration, I can help out my little darling. He really needs a true friend at the moment. And that's me! I talked to him about it over breakfast yesterday that's why I'm going shopping today. To buy me some new "Kane-ish" outfits. Even tho he said he was fine, I didn't see Waltman around anywhere. I saw him later that morning around 7. Staggering into the elevator with "The Toad Dogg" Jesse James. Nice friend, ditch em as soon as the show's over. Asshole. Damn it's gonna feel good kicking him to curb and out of my angel's life!!

I'm laying in a pool of soft, cool, black satin. It feels heavenly against my flushed naked body. He's above me, devouring me with his eyes. His gaze sets my body on fire while his hands start to roam my body. His lips meet mine in a soft kiss. It slowly turns deeper and more passionate. He moves his lips across my chin and down my throat, nipping at the skin there. He sucks on my collarbone before moving lower. He tortures me by skipping my breasts and moving towards my stomach. His tongue darts in and out of my belly button, making me moan softly...His mouth drifts lower and I gasp as his tongue plunges into my core-

BUZZZ Godammit...every time!! I sigh as I cling to the last fading moments of my dream. Pisspan looks over at me from his breakfast plate.

"You and your dream lover get interrupted again?" He laughs even as I hurl a pillow at him. Brothers suck. At least the Wedgie meister ain't here to bug me. "I need to set you up with some one..."

Now that I wasn't expecting. I turn to look at him...and he's serious. I fling my legs over the side of the bed and run over to him so I can take his temperature. We laugh and I sit down next to him when he won't let me feel his forehead.

"I really hope your joking Chris, I don't need a boyfriend-"

"No. Of course not.."

"Chris I mean it!"

"Rae, all you do is bother Gangrel, party with me and Edge and mother Kane. You're almost 21. You need your own life!"

"I thought hatchlings were supposed to fly from the nest...not get booted out..."

"Now don't start-"

"I have a 'real' job. My own apartment. A nice car. A great body. And a 7' goon who thinks I'm his mom. I don't need a boyfriend!! I have two wonderful men in my life already-"

"Oh puhleaze-"

"YOU AND EDGE. What do I need another one for?"

"You need another man so that you'll stop having wet dreams while wearing my teeshirts to sleep in-OUCH!"

"Oh come on. I didn't hit you that hard..."

"It's not the physical pain that stings...It's your-"

"Lack of understanding and inability to comprehend your jokes. Chris, she's heard it too many times. Find a new guilt line." Edge comes in every morning at this time. I've given up asking. I really *don't* want to know!

I smile to myself as Edge and Chris fight over the last bite of sausage and think what else could a girl possibly want from life? I have such a wonderful family to care for me and love me and protect me from the evils of the world... Then I sigh and hit them both with my slipper and steal the sausage for myself. At this point, food is the only answer to that question...

****
I'm back in my "Brood Chick" outfit. Wedgie wants me to go with him to the ring. He's up against Jarret. And Deb's fake dogs. My job is too keep Deb in her cloths and away from the ref. I swear... I outta strip her naked and toss her in to the drunkest section. That'd teach her a lesson or five.

I hate walking through this damn ring of fire. But I have to put up with it. It's a 'Pay Per View'. Make an entrance. Make an impact. Make an exit. I'll make an impact alright. Hehehe...

And there she is...Short skirt. Popping out jacket. And Plastic face. Ech. I think she's mad Jarret's to busy staring at me to close her shirt. Poor little bitch. Life's so hard for the 'beautiful'...

Well, so far the match is going ok. My boy is getting a beating, but no three count yet. OH! The tables have turned...and there's my cue. Debs is climbing up. I hop on the apron and wait for Jarrett to go sailing past before I race across. I spin the ref around in time to see Edge pin Jarrett.

Deb's shirt is totally off now. Arguing with the ref as always. What a bad fitting bra! I'll bet she's so uncomfortable. I know how to fix that. Oh look she's hugging the ref... Oh whoops! I only meant to loosen it. Oh dear. What have I done. I should feel so ashamed. I almost fall over I'm laughing so hard when she slaps him a good one. At least there's no chance of JJ
getting the belt back *now*.

"Damn Jeffie! That's a nice shade of red!!" I taunt as he leaves the ring...pissed off completely!

By the time me and Edge get back stage to our locker room almost every male has thanked me for the huge favor I've done the wrestling world. All I did was show two balls of silicon. I shrug as a reporter runs off after hugging me. What freaks...

****
I sigh as I plop down into the airplane seat. It's finally time to go home. Chris and Edge wanted me with them at ringside every freaking match and interview. Singles and Tag. Then Mr. McMahon decides I need to do a magazine interview. Now that was fun. A week with some freaky horndog from Titan Tower...

As the plane takes off I wonder about what Mrs. Poledouris would say if she knew how I spent my month long "vacation". If only the WWF knew I had another job...Teacher's Assistant. 'Well, at the moment' I grin, taking out my notebook. I'm training to take over for her after she retires at the end of the year. Junior English Honors and American History Honors. Let's just hope none of the boys in class are wrestling fans...All I need is stories of my secret life posted all over the internet... I can see it now. "Gothic Princess by Monday nights, Prissy Teacher by Tuesday mornings". Vince would have a cow. Shane would have kittens. Mrs. P would have a stroke. I'd have an awful mess to clean up...

"If this was a movie this would be the foreshadowing..." I mumble before flicking on the light and hitting the books. The man beside me sighs heavily when I turn on my headsets, loud. I guess he doesn't like Little Richard....Oh well "Now who can tell me three causes of the Great Depression?" I ask my second period class. Split schedules really suck sometimes. An hour and a half with the little pricks of 2B. "ANYone?"

"You know Ms Copeland, you look like that Rae Chick on WWF! The one with the Brood??" Some little red headed kid named Steve in the back asks. He has on a 3:16 shirt. Figures.

"Oh really? How so?" I ask trying to look annoyed. "wait, first give me a cause of the Crash of the Stock Market..." That outta shut him up. "NO one help him..."

"Um....Buying stocks on margin!" Shit.

"And what exactly does that mean?" Haha!

"Uhhh...buying part in cash and part on credit..?" Dammit.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Ha.

"Ehh....Telling. Can I talk about how you look like her now?" Godammit to the tenth level of hell NO!!

"Fine. While you're passing out the quiz."

"Well, she's tall like you. And has blonde hair. But she wears short skirts and low cut tops and lots of makeup and looks really scary. But she's hot..." Nice to feel loved. "And she's cool too! She ripped of Debra's bra her first appearance and she hits guys twice her size with chairs and she rips into anyone who gives her grief or makes her mad. She's got a husky voice too! Real sexy and-"

"THAT'S enough. Thank you Steve. Now that we've established that I'm boring and plain, we can add five more questions to the test. You can thank Steve at lunch..."

"Steve!"

"You suck man!"

"But!!"

"Aawwww!!!"

Gawd I love power!!

****

"Goddammit! Valerieeeee!! You know I've been out of town for a month! I haven't seen anyone!" I whine into the receiver. I'm catching up on all the gossip and trying to talk my 'friends' into catching a movie. No one wants to do a damn thing. I feel like I wanna cry.

"Girl, you've been on VACATION Why don't you stay home and relax?"

"A month with my brothers needs a week of vacation! I'll relax after I take it! Now are you gonna catch the 6:15 with me?"

"No...I can't me and Ben are gonna go china pattern shopping...Sorry."

"Fine, I'll you next week-"

"How about tomorrow?"

"Hello? Do you even listen anymore? I'M WORKING! MID TERMS! This is the last day I can do anything for about a week and a half! GOOD BYE VAL!" I hang up on her hoping she feels guilty. But I know it won't set in until after the third day of her trying to call me. Friends are cool. Friends with boyfriends are slightly annoying. Engaged friends flat out suck. You'd think that if they're getting ready to spend the rest of their life with a guy they'd want female companionship! Oh well, three friends down, four to go...

"Speed dial 4......Hi Kim?. HI!!...Oh he is?...HI CHRIS!....Yeah I'm not busy...NO...No I'm not going to the beach...No, I want to catch the 6:15 of Lake Placid...I'm NOT gonna go see Notting Hill. Romance sucks....Oh fine! Tell Chris I said Hi. Call you next week...Ask Val!" Click. Mental note- Friends with Boyfriends suck. Friends with Fiancies suck ass... This is gonna be a long night....

"Speed dial 5...Hi is Amanda home?.. Oh hey!.. you got a cold? ....Eww....EWW!...don't cough on me please!!...Oh it's not, well maybe I'll come over then...Oh really...Ok then...Oh I'm fineIt's only my last night of freedom for the next week and half....Midterms!....Yeah...tell him I said hi...Get better soon..." Click. Mental note- Married friends with mono and a stomach bug blow snot AND suck hairy ass....

"KNOCK KNOCK" Who the hell could that be? I hobble to the door cause laying on the floor has put my left leg to sleep. Debra? What the hell is going on??

"Hi can I help you?" I ask looking at her...Dude! Stephanie McMahon and Ryan Shamrock are with her....Goodbye cruel world!

"Hi Rae...This is kinda hard for us...But your Brother said it was your last night of freedom what ever that means and he thought that since you've been on the phone for over an hour you can't get anyone to join you. So since we're in town for a photo shoot we're gonna take you out for a night on the town. Luna's driving by the way in case you think we're gonna kidnap you and do nasty things to you .I know your close to Luna....Kinda.... Um...You ready?" Wow, Deb looks scared of me and sincere...Nice of my brothers to think of me...

"Lemme change...It'll take a few minutes..." I close the door and run to my room. I put on the speakerphone while I change.

"Hello?" It's the Wedgie man...

"What the hell do think your doing sicking Deb and Ryan and Steph on me? Well?? Speak up!" He's laughing the little Prick...Oh good there's Chris.

"What he's trying to say is that we called Val and she said you couldn't find anyone to go out with so we thought-"

"That you'd sick the chick I've given a blood bath too and ripped off her cloths and hit her man over the head with a guitar on me? WHAT THE HELL ARE THINKING!?"

"Luna's with them!" Luna has always been nice to me. Kinda like a mother almost. Surprising because I drive her husband up the wall.

"So..."

"So nothing. GO out and have fun. Call me later ok?"

"It won't be for a few days..."

"That's fine. Just to let me know your still alive...Remember to wash the dress for Sunday-"

"I know Chris. I love you too! BYES!" Click. Wow. I barely remember changing during the convo...Oh well...time to face the wolves...er...puppies...

****

I flop down into bed and look at the clock. Two A.M. Damn. That leaves three hours of sleep, one of sleep walking and six to pick on poor unsuspecting teenagers. Hehehe...

~*~*~

"Ms Copeland, are you single?" Now there's a question about the Depression I haven't heard before.

"Yes I am Steve. Why do you ask? I'm sure my sex life has little to do with the 1920's..." Whoops. Wrong thing to say to period 2B...Goddammit!

"Heh, well ya see, we all needed help-"

"All of the class?"

"Most of us needed help on some of the review questions, but you weren't home yesterday..."

"I was out with...friends. Well. A friend's coworkers." Oh, good lie.

"Your friends with the women of the WWF? COOL!" Oh. shit.

****

"Now, Constantina...I know you're still young. But partying all night with ... how to put this..."

"Listen Doctor Neugebougher, Debra and Luna and Ryan and Steph are nice women who took me out to help me get over spending a month with my brothers! You will not say anything mean about them! I was home and in bed at two! I didn't even drink!"

"I've had a few complaints from parents-"

"Old women who hate the fact that a 21 one year old is smart enough to teach high school! I know what a lot of the boys say about me! I'm not deaf!! I try to dress boring and drab-"

"I know about your other life Ms. Copeland." Ah hell..."I know who your brothers are and who your parents were. I watched the tapes of 'RAW'. I don't know if we can continue to employ you once word gets out..."

"I see."

"Now be like that Const-"

"Please don't use my first name Doctor. AND since I am no longer employed by this school I will collect my belongings and leave you to find a replacement. Good day, Neugie."

****

"Sorry sis..."Edge looks worse than me...

"Yeah, I didn't know the school would take it so hard..." Chris is pissed off more than me. That's older brothers for ya. "I outta sue! How can they just fire you? What cause do they have?! Your qualified and smart and all those kids love you-"

"Chris."

"And test scores have risen-"

"CHRIS."

"What??"

"Are you forgetting something?? I was raised by a vampire and a witch! Bounty hunters too! Mom and Dad were the most wanted criminals in America! I'm a 5'8'' blonde leggy, gothic valet and you two are wrestlers. Now think nimrod! Are they gonna hire me or some old hag who never even cussed a single time in her 80 years on earth???"

"It's not fair tho! It's not right. You've always wanted to teach..." Aww...

"Chris don't cry over my problems-"

"Rae he's right." Edge whispers almost happily.

"It's over!" I hiss passing Chris a tissue.

"It's discrimination!" He hisses back grabbing the phone.

It's discrimination!" He hisses back grabbing the phone.

"Edge...don't do anything stupid...or smart for that matter...It's over. I can earn a better living being a valet..."

"But you didn't dream of becoming the world's youngest valet now did you??" True, but Edge doing something smart is scarier than seeing Gangrel when he first wakes up...

****

Well, I'm back in the wrestling business. And I'm looking for my puppy. My poor little Kaney. All alone with the green imp....

"Knock Knock? Kane??" I push open the door with out thinking. "OH SORRY!" I slam the door back shut. Wrong brunette! About a foot too short, a hundred pounds smaller and almost naked. Thank god for towels that stay in place when you tie them....

"You're looking for Kane? Who are you? His girlfriend?" What a great conversationalist! At least he has on more clothing when the door opens this time. He doesn't even ask me in. Just pulls me in and hurls me into a chair. How gentlemanly!

"Actually, Mr. Waltman, I'm his closest friend. Now where is he?" He puts his arm across the door and blocks my path as I try to exit.

"Hey, your the Brood's baby sister...Why you looking for Kane? And if you're so close how come I've never seen you-"

"RAE!!" It's Kaney! And he loves to give bear hugs!! OWW!

"Thanks Kaney! I love you too. Now mind helping me in getting my vital organs back in thru my nose?" I laugh and act like I'm dyeing. The skinny little punk is confused. Poor thing. HA! Serves him right. "Now Kane. I have plans for Jarrett I need to set in motion. And X Punk here has a match against him. I have an idea and I'll explain it all later...Now come on and tell me how you're weeks been..."

Poor poor X-Pac...He looks so confused...and childlike...I almost feel sorry for the skinny little bastard. Almost. I'm just not there yet...

****

~*~*~*~

"Sounds like you have a lot in common with him Constipation!!" Katie's laughter resounds from the speakerphone.

"Katie?"

"Hmm?"

"Three things.."

"Yes...?"

"Number one. None of your romantic notions. Two. DON"T CALL ME CONSTIPATION! And three, RESCUE ME!! HE BOTHERS ME!!"

"Oh come on...you make a cute couple!"

Silence.

"Rae of Sunshine??"

"Don't ever say that again...I'm gonna hurl!"

"Rae of Sunshine? But I always use that-"

"I MEANT the couple thingy...Are you ok? Do I need to send Ami over to check on you??" Laughter from Katie again.

"I'm fine. Sit down and talk to him. You might be stuck with him for a while if Kaney wants you to valet for him..."

"I'll take the valium when I cross that bridge-"

"PROMISE ME!"

"NO."

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"NO!!" Nice try!

"I ain't falling for it hootchie!!" *pbbt*!

"Just a conversation. It won't kill you!" Whatever!

"ANYway. I need to go change and get ready for his match-"

"Who's?"

"Waltman's."

Why you going ringside with him if you don't like him?"

"Why?"

"You'll see!"

"Why do I sense your planning something. Something evil..."

"Oh really! Sweet innocent little me? Do something evil?"

"Yes. Yes you. Now go get ready. Talk to him on the way to the ring!!" Click. She hung up on me! Oh well...Time to go start phase B...

****

"So Rae, who's the lucky guy?" Waltman asks in the hallway.

"Eh? What guy?" I'm confused.

"The one on the phone. I heard A deep voice-" I bust out laughing at that. I have to lean on him to keep from falling over. After a few seconds I can breathe well enough to speak.

"The 'guy' on the phone was my best friend Katie! SHE has a very deep alto voice!" He's actually kinda cute when he smiles...What the hell am I saying. Mental bitch slap! "Anyway, let's get to the ring shall we?" I drop his arm and walk ahead. But I still feel his skin under my fingers, and his eyes on my ass.

****

~*~*~*~*~


"Why you so mad at Debra?" Waltman asks as we head back to the locker room. I sigh and put off answering. He doesn't really need to know anyway. Once we get in the locker room he shocks me by pushing me back against the door and pinning me there. I'm not complaining, tho I should be...

"I asked you a question." He growls, his face only a few inches away from mine.

"I know." I really shouldn't play with fire, I don't like getting burned!

"Then answer me!" Deb's wants help getting away from Jarrett!

"No." What the hell?! Uh oh he looks pissed. "Let me go." Uh oh cocky grin.

"Nah, I think I'll stay here. Sides, you don't seem to mind either-" *SLAP*

Silence.....

****

Waltman is totally silent, staring at the spot on the wall where his head stopped after the impact, he hasn't even moved his face back to face mine. I am totally silent, tho mentally screaming at myself, slapping him may have not been such a hot idea. He slowly turns his face back to mine. I can't tell what the look on his face means, and before I can think about it his lips are on mine and his tongue is in my mouth. I try to wriggle away but all that's doing is turning us both on. I finally give in and open my mouth further, deepening the kiss. In the distance I hear some one moaning, she sounds happy too. I tear my mouth from his and shove him with all my might as I realize who it was that was moaning in pleasure. I fling open the door and run to my car. I don't know where I'm going. I'm just going.

I look up at Katie's house and realize I drove on autopilot. Good thing it's a Baltimore show tonight and a DC show tomorrow. It's also a damn good thing all my crap was in the car. I had planned to change in the bathroom at the club Edge and Chris were taking me to. I make a mental note to call them as I climb out of the car and climb the front steps. The door swings open before I can even knock. I stare at Katie for a minute before speaking.

"How-?"

"You sat in the car for five minutes. Not moving. I was about to come get you. Come on in and tell me what happened." Katie cuts me off and pulls me inside. We go down to the basement, our talking place. We've always gone there when one of us has a problem or something amazing has happened. I plan out my speech while she's in the kitchenette making me some herbal tea. She sets the mug down in front of me and sits across from me. I open my mouth to speak, but I can't talk. Nothing comes out. Katie just nods and gives me a hug. The dam breaks then, I start crying for no reason. And Katie just holds me. Finally I stop crying and start to sip the tea she made. Katie gives me one last squeeze and breaks out the ever present, solve anything cards and asks "Gin Rummy?". I laugh, she's such a cool friend. "How about some Vodka?" I get a swift swat on the arm for it and she starts dealing the cards. I still need to call the Duo....Maybe later.