the night of irony

by Marissa

Prologue

Ah, it all began the night of March 28, 1998. Deanna, Kelly, Nicole, Liz, Sarah, and myself decided to get together and go to a place called Chunky's. Chunky's is a movie theater that also serves food. Anyway, it was around 7 when we got to Chunky's and the movie we were going to see, "The Wedding Singer," was going to start at 7:30. So, we started walking towards the building when a man yelled out "All shows are sold out!" And there began the...

"the night of irony."

At that time, we were all feeling a little dejected. Since Chunky's was located in a plaza, we went into Dunkin' Donuts to look for a phone book to call Chili's, a restaurant located about a half of an hour away. They didn't have one so we went into the pizza place next door. They didn't have a phone book either, but they did have "The Dating Page." What is "The Dating Page," you ask? It is a silly personal ads book. It included a special feature on incarcerated women, which we all loved. If you are wondering about the relevance of "The Dating Page," you'll soon find out.

Anyway, we all went to Kelly's car and used her cell phone to call information to find out the number for Chili's. So, we called and were put on a waiting list, and told them we'd be there in a half of an hour. We left the plaza, and headed towards Chili's. The time was around 7:15.

So, we reached Chili's at 7:30 or so. There was a half of an hour wait, so Liz and Kelly decided to go across the road to a place called Fun House Pizza, with a bunch of games. Meanwhile, Deanna, Sarah, Nicole, and myself were seated in the lobby of Chili's, acting like the obnoxious teenagers we aren't. We were getting pretty bored, so we began to look through the dating page. We had a grand old time making fun of it. Kelly and Liz came back, and soon thereafter we were called to our booth. (Author's note: we went to Chili's again a month later and got the same booth... it's ours now, with or without the salt shaker.)

So, we all decided to get an appetizer, a Mombo Combo, that had a little of everything, and we ordered drinks. Sarah and I chose virgin strawberry daiquiris (no alcohol Kel), because we love them. Our appetizer and drinks came soon and we began to eat. So, we were just hanging out and eating when Kelly and Liz began talking to these 3 guys at the next table. They were from Methuen, and in the 8th, 9th, and 10th grades. Big deal. I have no idea what they were talking about. So they kept talking off and on throughout the appetizer portion of our meal. When our dinner came, we were all pretty annoyed with the guys next to us, because we wanted to eat, yet they kept talking. Sarah began to say that this whole thing was stupid, and telling the guys to go away. Soon, that's what we were all saying.

Meanwhile, I thought that the whole situation was hilarious, and could hardly stop laughing. Kelly moved the shrubbery between the tables to block the conversation between the guys and us, but they just moved it back. Even though Deanna said "Cease from moving the shrubbery!" they still did. Deanna was so frustrated that she threw the "Dating Page" at the next table so that the boys could occupy themselves. However, one of the boys through it back at Kelly, and she exclaimed "Hey, I'm choking here, and you're trying to show me pictures of naked women!" Those guys left us alone soon thereafter.

So, after that situation was over, another began. We all knew that Chili's did this birthday thing. Let me explain. If you told your waitress/waiter that it was someone's birthday at your table, then about 10 other waitresses/waiters started to clap and sing to the birthday person. The birthday person also received ice cream. It was about 2 weeks before Sarah's birthday, and we thought "Hey, why not tell our waitress that it's Sarah's birthday?" So, we did. Sarah left and "went to the bathroom" and we told our waitress that it was Sarah's birthday. Soon enough, all these employees of Chili's began to sing and clap. It was hilarious. It was hard not to burst out laughing. Sarah was cool, though, and acted really surprised. Our waitress took a Polaroid of Sarah and came back in a few minutes with the pictures in this little frame type thing, and a $5 gift certificate to Chili's. We all felt a little guilty because we cost the restaurant $5. (This portion of the night is affectionately called the "five dollar lie").

After a 10 minute discussion about who owes what, we left Chili's and, after a 10 minute discussion outside, we chose to go to the mall. On the ride over, Deanna began to yell "Genitalia!" out the window while Kelly was driving. All of a sudden, Kelly's parents pulled up next to Kelly. Boy, was Kelly surprised. However, her Mom only wanted to know where we were going, and Kelly told her the Mall. Her Mom told her that the Mall closed at 9:30 (It was about 9:15). So, Kelly had to pull into the parking lot of the Mall anyway to inform Nicole, who was driving the other car. We all hung out in the parking lot of Filene's and decided, after about 10 minutes, to go to Barnes and Noble (now affectionately called B & N).

While in B & N, we saw Kelly's recent ex, and her parents. We still hung out there for a half of an hour, looking at books and talking. It was fun. We left, and in the parking lot, Liz decided to yell "Hi!" to Kelly's ex, who was also outside. Kelly went and apologized, and we all left, Nicole driving herself home, and the rest of us piled in Kelly's car. On the way home, we talked about something unmentionable, so I won't mention it.

Well, that's it, I guess. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed doing it.

go read more silly stories

go back to main page