shadow

Have you ever woken up, from a sleep where you tossed and turned, with a memory of mist and cloud, steps that echo, and fuzzy shapes that you can only see from the corner of your eye ? Well then - you know of the kindred of the dark, the ShadowKin.

Some people are afraid of them, and say they take the shape of shadow horses that race across the dreamlands. Others say that they walk the underside of sleep to pluck out the memory of things you'd rather not remember - the ugly, nasty belly-to-the-ground crawlies that bring pain and hurt, and the gnawing empty feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes from saying goodbye. What they do with these things no one knows for sure, but there are those who say the ShadowKin feed on them and take the poison into themselves - and that is why they are dark.

The truth is, no one knows who the Dark-kin really are or what they really do. Perhaps they're everything people say they are. Perhaps they are simply what we want them to be, and have become all the things that stand beside the bed and frighten us as we lie in the dark listening to the noises of the night. We know they are there, on the edges of dream - we can be certain of that. And so we tell stories about them, and we listen to stories told of them - and we remember...

Among those stories is this tale, one of many that was told to me when I was very young.
 
 
 

1
One night, one of the Dark-kin went walking on the underside of dream. He had no name for none of the kindred think they need names, but because this is a story, he must be called something - so I shall call him Shadow, for that is what he was.
On this night, as he gathered his dark harvest of fear and anger and pain, Shadow saw a little girl - an ordinary little girl with scrapes on her knees and dirt on her face, who hopped and skipped down the dreamroad as you or I must have done at one time or another. But this little girl, this ordinary little girl, glowed as golden as the sun on a warm day after a rainstorm has washed everything clean.

The glow began in her belly and spread down all the way to the tip of her big toe and up all the way to the long ends of her hair. She shone gold with pure joy, and lit up the twilight land even to the edge of the forest that rose from the shadows on both sides of the road.

Perhaps Shadow was tired of the dark. Or it may be he was bored and wanted to try something new. Perhaps the little girl's joy was really special or - perhaps - he was simply lonely. Who knows? But on this night, instead of remaining at the edges of sight, Shadow walked up to the little girl until she could see him plain as day.

"Come with me," he said, "I shall build you a castle of gleaming pearl and your smile will light this entire land with its glow. That light will chase horrors from people's dreams and they will know only quiet sleep without nightmares to haunt them."

The little girl laughed and shook her head.

"What do I want with castles of pearl?," she chuckled. "The sun is warm, and mother and father stand smiling and waving at me from the porch. My friends are tossing a new red ball in the park, waiting for me to run and join them. Thank you for offering, but I must go."
So she kissed him on the cheek, then ran off to play.

Shadow of the Dark-kin looked after her with a smile until her light disappeared like a small sun over the hill, and went his way.
 
 

2
When next he passed through that place, Shadow looked for the little golden girl - but the kindred in their dark world do not measure Time as we do. She was a young woman before he met her again.

She walked down the dreamroad, brown hair gilded with sunbeams and a nosegay in her hand, her glow softened now to an amber haze that shimmered as she glided down the path. Again, the dark-kin walked up to her until she could see him plain as the flowers in her hand.

"Come with me," he said, "I shall build you a tower of moonbeam silver that reaches the clouds and your glow will colour the sunrise and sunset. Seeds of your choosing you shall bring with you, and blossoms will spread like stars from the foot of your tower to brighten the nights of those who dream of the dark."

The girl smiled prettily, curtsied and said, "I remember you, and I thank you for your kindness - but again I must refuse.
"What need have I for silver towers? The spring has given me flowers enough to braid through my hair, and tonight the full moon shall deck with silver the place where I shall meet my love."

Then she took a daisy from her nosegay and gave it to Shadow.

"Remember me," she said, then she walked away.

Shadow gazed at the flower in his hand for a long time. Then he returned to his work with a thoughtful look on his face.
 
 

3
A very long time passed before Shadow found himself in that place again.

Perhaps there were great harvests to attend to in other places. Perhaps he played long games with his kin as they raced or ran for the sheer joy of running. Whatever the reason, the little girl had grown from young woman to mother before they met once more on the dreamroad, and he would not have seen her had she not called to him.

She detached herself from the darkness of the forest to greet him. And had he the capacity of human emotion, he might have been saddened to see that her light had faded to a glimmer more copper than gold.

"I would not have known you," he said, brushing shadow across her face. "Will you not come with me now?" he asked. "I shall give you a cottage beside a running stream and its waters will wash away all memory and grief. There you may sit beneath the trees and sing with the wind, and in peace you may regain the glow that you once had."

But she shook her head sadly and when she spoke, her whisper held regret.

"I cannot. My husband has gone and my child weeps for what once was and can be no more. The waters I wash in have the taste of tears. And the wind?
The wind cannot sing for me. It can only mourn."

Wistfully, she took his hand and kissed it. Then a shrill cry pierced the silence around them.
"My child." she said.
Releasing his hand, she returned to the dark.

Shadow sighed once and then, though she was not there to see, he lifted his hand - as if in greeting or farewell. Then, taking on a swifter form, he ran from that place as quickly as he could.
 
 

4
Shadow tried to avoid that place from then on, but he couldn't. As people must dress for school or grow up someday, so must the Dark-kin be about their proper business. So with one thing and another, though it was a long time after, he had to pass that way again.

She stood in the middle of the road, waiting, her arms outstretched to welcome him.

" I am free!" she cried. "Nothing holds me back or bars my way. I can go where I want, live where I wish !"

Shadow was silent .

"Take me with you," she said. "I long to see the castle of pearl, the tower of moonbeams with its endless blossoms, the cottage by the stream of forgetting."
 

Shadow drew back and slowly shook his head.

" They were never built ," he said. "You refused when I offered them to you - and I cannot build them now."

"Why ?" she wailed, as tears began in her eyes.

He gave her a grey look, perhaps it was a sad look.
Very quietly, he said, "Look about you."

She did - and within the mist and clouds, she glimpsed the shadow horses racing in the distance. Slowly, sadly, she began to understand.
Shadow bowed his head, stepped around her and went his way without a backward glance.
 

Long after he left, she saw herself - and she was ShadowKin.
Slowly she sank to her knees and wept.