Cheese is a thing of beauty. All things dairy are good. I worship Gouda, Milk and Cream, the deities of Cheese and Dairy. I graze in pastures of goodness among my sisters and brothers the cows. I love cheese!

In actuality, I really do love cheese. I?m not quite so fanatical as believing in my own made up gods, but I do love the stuff.

At my grandmother?s house around the holidays, her table is stocked with goodies. Brownies, fudge, cookies, and homemade pies that would make your mouth water were placed all around the edges of the table. Of course, all the other children would reach for the brownies and such.

Side note: my grandmother gave birth to sixteen children. Of those sixteen children, thirteen of them have children of their own. My last count of cousins was at 29, not including myself and my own two siblings. You can just imagine that holidays are a big thing, and that there are kids, and food everywhere. At the age when this story happened I probably had about 10 cousins. Anyway?

Of course, all the other children would reach for the brownies and such. Not me. I was not a fan of chocolate concoctions. I did not want of cookies or pies. I did not long for that delicious sugary high.

I would pull a chair up to that chocolate laden table and grab a handful of dairy goodness from the crystalline plate in the very center of the table. This plate was on a small pedestal, and strategically placed in the center of the table by grandmother. She knew that I would come, and that I would steal as much off that plate as I could.

That plate had the blessed and most sacred CHEESE upon it! I became quite notorious in my family for this interesting quirk of personality. A child who passed up chocolate snacks for wholesome cheese?

Of course, these were just the beginnings of my strange obsession with all things Dairy. Many a time in my childhood I was scolded for hoarding the sacred cheese. I came to learn that cheese must be shared, as all things in life must be. Spread the word?

Of course, just to be a smart-ass, I founded my own religion of sorts. I even put forth the effort to make up gods, prayers, and silly laws. I did this one night while sitting up late after a restful Columbus Day break from college.

See what caffeine, no sleep, and a little bit of creativity can do?

It?s all a little crazy, sure! But what in life isn?t crazy? Sit back, relax, and enjoy?

I do so hope you enjoy my madness! If you would like to use any of the above fiction, or for that matter any fiction on any of my pages, please feel free. I only ask that you give me credit, and please link it back to me. Thanks!