"Damn it Jennie, wake up!" I yelled.

It was already 8:30, and we were late for school. Jennifer stayed up late to watch a fashion show, and now she won’t get up. It's times like these that make me wish I were an only child.

Jennie, was 18. I was her younger sibling by only one and a half years. It kind of pissed her of when I ended up in the same grade as her. I'm smart as hell, and she's the beauty. They say life's a trade off; I've never seen a trade off as big as my sister and I.

Jennie is the typical model, decently smart, drop dead gorgeous, and a pain in the ass. I'm the frumpy little sister with the acidic tongue, superb grades, and celluloid. Damn my genetics!

If it wasn't hard enough being chubby, my sister is a perfect size two. The last time I wore size two was when I was five! I'm lucky now if I can get into a twelve. At least I have friends who don’t turn on me when I gain two pounds.

I think Jennie has always been surrounded by people. So popular, so pretty. I prefer just watching the crowd fawn over her. I always get a kick out of it. If we were in neo-lithic times they would worship me, and not Jennie.

Of course, miss clear complexion could do no wrong, so I was the only one yelling at her this morning.

"Mom, Jennie won't get up. Can you help me?"

"Janine, your sister had a big night. I told her she could sleep a little late."

"Big night? She watched a fashion show! I'm going to be late for school because of precious."

"She was in that fashion show, and she wanted to see herself on TV. Have a little tolerance for your sister."

"Tolerance? Mom, I have dealt with that lovely pain in the ass for nearly seventeen years. I've had it up to here with tolerance!"

"Janie, it's a little too early for such strong language."

"I quit, I'm going to sleep in late tomorrow just for the hell of it1" I stormed out of the kitchen and ran upstairs to Jenny's room. There I raised as much hell as I could until she got out of bed.

"Yes?" She asked angrily.

"Good morning sunshine. It's way past time to go to school. Move your bloated little ass."

"I'm not bloated, am I? I've got a shoot after school today." She asked nervously. I shouldn't have said that. Jenny has had some severe eating disorder problems in the past. She has that model mentality.

"No Jennie, you're as perfect as ever." I said as sardonically as I could. "I didn't mean it, you look beautiful."

She sighed. "Very funny, Janine. Please don't joke about things like that. I've been feeling really fat lately."

"You feel fat?" I asked incredulously. "How do you think I feel?"

"You can't understand. All those other girls are so much thinner than I am."

"If they're thinner than you, than I'm a blimp compared to them. Don't let it get to you."

She smiled wearily. She'd been looking pale lately. I blamed it on the flu.

Later that day at the photo shoot…

"Jenny, why do I have to be here?" I asked.

"Mom wants you to watch me. How ridiculous! You can go if you want to."

It had been at least three years since I'd gone to any of Jenny's shoots. I forgot what it was all about. I decided to stay.

I almost changed my mind when one of Jenny's friends wheeled around the corner. To say the least, Helene and I don't like each other. Jenny ran off to get dressed, and left me to deal with the demon.

"Oh, hello tubby." She said.

"Do you care nothing for my self confidence, Helene?"

"Shut up fatty."

"Bite me, bulimic girl."

"I'm anorexic, shit for brains. Get it straight."

"I think stupid is the correct term." I said, barely able to contain my laughter.

"You think you're so smart! Shut up." She said, defeated.

"No comeback for Helene, it would seem."

"Bite me."

"I need a little more meat, and a lot less plastic."

"Ooh!" She yelled as she walked away, fists clenched.

"What did you say now?" Asked Jenny when she came back.

"Absolutely nothing she didn't ask for."

"You can't even be civil to her?"

"She called me tubby! How am I supposed to be nice to that? You look pale, have you been eating enough?" I also noticed her dress was hanging on her; it should have been tight fitting.

"Nice subject transition. Here’s another one: let me worry about what I eat, I've got to go."

"Don’t get shot!" I joked, but I was concerned for her health. Jenny had been really good since the last time she was 'sick'. Three years. After the last shoot I went to she was hospitalized. I didn't want to go after that.

She laughed as she walked away.

Late that evening…

"Hey mom!" I yelled to get her attention.

"Yes, Janie?"

"I think Jenny hasn’t been eating enough again."

We'd been through the drill a thousand times. Whenever Jenny looked too skinny, we would pretty much force feed her. But it was hard to watch her. She was tricky. She would wear really baggy clothes, and no one would ever see her change. She had learned how to hide her eating problem well. She'd done it all, bulimia, anorexia. Do I need to go on?

If she got really bad, we would take her to the hospital. When she was there they gave her an IV, instead of bothering to feed her manually. Three years since then. She was doing so well.

"You think so?" Mom asked.

"Yeah. Especially compared to the other girls at the shoot."

My mother sighed. She didn't want Jenny to model, but it was a good way to pay for college. We didn't have a lot of money, and we could use every dollar. I was scared for Jenny. When she went to college we couldn't watch her any more.

"I'll watch her closely." Mom said. "Next time she weighs herself, stand over her shoulder. If she's under one hundred, or getting close, let me know."

"Okay mom." I could see her hair turning gray with worry. I don't think Jenny even realized how much trouble she was.

The next morning…

I stood over Jenny as she weighed herself that morning. I didn't realize just how skinny she'd gotten. She was sickly. Her ribs stuck out through her flesh, and her belly was caved in. It looked to me as if she hadn’t eaten in months.

"Jenny?"

She stood on the scale crying.

"Jenny?"

"Look." She said in a sob.

The scale read seventy-two. I inhaled sharply, she noticed.

anymore. "Mom!" I screamed.

My mother ran upstairs to find our emaciated Jenny, and immediately ran back downstairs to get the car keys. She would be driving to the hospital again.

We had taken this trip all too often. Dress Jenny, put her in the car, and race to the hospital. This time she nearly collapsed when mom picked her up. She had gone to the hospital four times in six months before. She wasn't allowed to model for a long time after that. She was about ten then, I was eight. A ten year old bulimic. She gained weight, and mom said she could model again.

She was doing really well until about three years ago. Some photographer said she was too fat, and it was the downward spiral again. She landed in the hospital a few months later, under seventy pounds. She was fifteen then. The other models taught her how to hide it. We could never tell if she was sick.

Mom wouldn't let her model for another year. Then she let her do a few shoots every now and then, but she watched her diet very strictly. Mom went to every shoot, so Jenny couldn't hide anymore. After a year of being chaperoned, Jenny had earned mom's trust.

Mom let Jenny go alone, and didn't watch her diet as much. Pretty soon Jenny was independent of supervision once again. It was so hard to make sure she was taking care of herself. I'm glad I decided to stay at the shoot. If I hadn't Jenny would be much worse off.

So here we are, in ICU again. Jenny is lying on the bed, and the doctors are telling us how grave the situation is again.

"She might die." Said one doctor, in a long white coat and red sneakers.

"When did you catch on that she was ill?" Asked another.

"This morning." I said. "I went to a shoot yesterday and saw that she was very thin compared to the other girls. I watched her weigh herself this morning. She's really sick this time."

"This has happened before?"

"Yes." My mom answered. "Several years ago. We watched her closely, and then she earned our trust. She broke it again. I don't think she realizes what she's doing to herself."

The doctor's looked at us sternly. "Why don’t you discourage her from modeling?"

"We've tried. It's hard enough being a single mom, and trying to make money for your kids to go to school. And now you want to map out what they do or eat every minute of the day?"

"We're not blaming you. But this has happened before."

"She was doing so well." I said quietly. I started to cry. Damn it Jenny!

The doctor's huddled over her pale body. "I'm surprised she's still alive. There's nothing left to her." They put Jenny on a respirator; her lungs had become too weak. She had IV's with nutrients in to help her out.

Three weeks that Jenny was in the hospital this time. Three weeks of grief and worry. Three weeks of prayer.

I never spoke to Jenny again. She couldn't hear me. On the last day I held her hand, and told her I loved her. I cried all day, my mom was much worse than
I was. She couldn't even look at Jenny.

The doctors came in and unplugged the machines. There was no hope of her recovering. I had lost my only big sister. It was just too much.

"Jenny, I love you." I said at her grave. The funeral procession left but not me. I stayed. I stayed with my Jenny. It was all too much. My mom cried a lot, but I knew what I had to do. I had to be with my Jenny. I couldn't deal with it anymore.

I laid down right next to my Jenny. My mom was sad; both of us lost at once. In a way, we both killed ourselves. Jenny did it to be beautiful. I did it to be with her.

I give this story to any girl or boy who had ever felt out of place. Remember that we are all just strange people lost in a big huge world with no sense of truth or reality. Things can and will get better.

The young man walked through the hospital room's door. The girl lying on the bed was pale and sickly, but she had a suggestive smile. He raised one eyebrow to her and said, "I have a gift for you."

The girl smiled again. "Gift?"

"It's a special gift. The gift of normality." He said.

"Do I know you?" She asked noting the familiarity he created in her mind. She seemed to remember the short boy. His spiky, sandy, blond hair looking childish, yet appropriate for his mirthful smile. His eyes were a deep, dark, grey.

"You will soon enough." He said. He took in a deep breath and looked down the length of her body. It would be a great task to grant normality to such a pitiful creature.

The girl had been bed ridden for several years; she had never been able to walk. She had a strange illness that doctors could never figure out. Her name was Kelsi.

The boy spoke again. "Would you like my gift?"

"What is it exactly?"

"It is the gift of living a normal life. You will be able to swim, jump, run, and dance like normal kids your age. But with one drawback."

"There can be no drawbacks to such an amazing gift!" She exclaimed.

"You may only have it for one year, and then you will join me."

"Are you an angel?"

"In a matter of speaking. You will die after one year of normal life, or you can live a full life bed ridden. It is your choice."

Kelsi smiled at him radiantly. "I want to run, and jump! I want to have a normal life!"

The angel looked at her with reluctance. He took a deep breath, and smiled stubbornly. He walked over to her bed, and lifted her body so that she was standing with his support next to the bed.

He began to dance with her, even though her feet dragged on the ground. Soon she was stepping with him clumsily, and slowly she became lighter on her feet. After a long while she was dancing gracefully, as if she'd had dancing lessons for many years.

She danced away from him, and he whispered to her one last admonition. "You only have one year, live it to the fullest." She couldn't hear him as she was humming loudly to herself.

As she waltzed into the hall everyone stopped dead in his or her tracks.

"It's a miracle!" Exclaimed one nurse.

"Amazing!" Said one of her doctors.

Only a few days later Kelsi was released from the hospital, and given a clean bill of health. No one could believe it. The girl who could not walk was dancing!

Kelsi dressed carefully for her prom. She wanted to look beautiful. She knew it would be a special night, but she couldn't remember why.

She whirled around the dance floor, popular, beautiful. For once in her life she felt loved, she felt free. People surrounded the miracle girl. Some graceful act of magic had blessed her.

She saw him enter the room from the corner of her eye. He was beautiful. His short hair was spiked adorably. His grey eyes searched hers. She walked over to him.

"Do I know you?" She asked.

He shook his head sadly. "I'm an angel." He whispered.

She looked at him curiously, and at once remembered. "Has it been that long? I had nearly forgotten."

"It's time."

She bit her lip. "Please, no. I… There's still so much more I want to do."

"I know." He said. "But, it's time."

Tears dropped onto her cheeks as he wrapped his arms about her, and they began to dance. Just as they had one year before. Except this time, Kelsi was dancing into oblivion, and not life.

He held her tightly. "I won’t let go of you." He said. "I should never have come to you Kelsi, but they told me. They told me you needed life. But as you know there is a price to every gift."

Her tears were falling faster now. "I don't even know your name angel."

"It was David once."

"Hold me tighter David. I want to thank you for your gift. Some of these tears are for joy. I really lived."

"Sweet Kelsi. I won’t leave your side."

And with that, they angel and the girl danced away into the night. Kelsi was never seen again. It's claimed though, by some of her friends, that every now and then it seems as if there is a couple dancing among the stars. For even though Kelsi had died, she found her peace, and David stayed with her for an eternity in the stars.