Subject: Re: i think wesley should live long and prosper
From: [email protected]
Newsgroups: alt.ensign.wesley.die.die.die

In <AE3E1897B3B86F3B.5DC82259DE37BB7D.F880F215CF62C048@library-proxy.airnews.net>, [email protected] (john brown) writes:
>Wesley is my hero.  He is an inspiration to all of mankind!  Lets
>celebrate this fine actor Wil Wheaton!!!

DATA: Captain, long range sensors are picking up a troll.

PICARD: On screen, Mr. Data.

(big fat kid, maybe 8 years of age, 4ft. 2in., 140 lbs., wearing a striped shirt and a beanie, appears on the screen)

WORF: Captain, the troll is hailing us, audio only.

PICARD: [sigh] On speakers, Mr. Worf.

TROLL: HAY D00DZ W3ZL3Y RUL3Z!!1!!!!11!!1!!1!!!!!

PICARD: (stands up) Unidentified troll, you are in violation of federation space. Withdraw immeadiatly or suffer the consequences.

TROLL: HAY D00D WUT R CONSUQWENZEZ?!?!?!?!??!1?!?!?!!??

PICARD: Something that's not "k3wl". Now withdraw from federation space!

TROLL: HAY D00D WUTZ TH1Z FEDERASHUN SPAS U KEP TAWK1N AB0WT???!1?1?!?1/?!!??!?!?!?

PICARD: It's where we are right now. Get out of it.

TROLL: HAY D00D WY D0 1 HAV 2 L1ZEN 2 U!??!?!?!??!? 1 C4N D0 WUT3VR 1 WANT!!!11!111!!!!!!!!!

PICARD: If you do not comply, you'll be blown up.

TROLL: WUT U GUNNA D0???/?/?///??/?? KAL YUR M0MM13Z!!?/!?!/1//!??!?

(Picard motions for Worf to cut off the link. Worf gladly does so.)

PICARD: Mr. Worf, fire photon torpedoes.

(Worf surpresses a smile and fires. The troll blows up, and large amounts of fat are seen floating about.)

DATA: You realise, Captain, that B1FF has more servants.

(camera closes in on the disturbed look on Picard's face, with appropriately ominous music. Fade to black.)