"There are easier things than meeting
a good man......like nailing jello to a
tree!"

"Canadian women prefer shopping to sex.
At least at the mall your satisfaction
is guaranteed!"

"Sex & pizza are alike: When it's great,
it's great; when it's bad, it's still
pretty good!" (Garth Brooks)

"I called 1-800-GET A LIFE but there was
no answer; everyone there got one and
left!"

"The weather's here, wish you were fine."

"I started out with nothing and I still
have most of it left!"

Sign on a tow truck: "We meet by accident."

"My guests bring me pleasure, some by
coming, some by going!"

"Heaven don't want me and hell is afraid
I'll take over" (Bob Brown)