friday is no doubt my favorite movie of all time, as well
as one of the funniest films ever made.  after watching
the film several thousand times, i have applied some of
the knowledge that is shared into my everyday life.  it
has no doubt improved the quality of living for my family,
friends, and most importantly myself.  here are the top ten
things that i have learned from watching friday.  try to
apply these suggestions into your own life.  it will no 
doubt improve the way you live tremendously.


1.) to keep a lean, muscular physique, put your weight 
    bench in your front lawn and only do about three 
    benchpress reps a day.

2.) when saying "pig's feet", never pronounce the T in
    feet.  it's customary to say slur the ending so it
    comes out "pheeeee".  make a funny face while saying
    this.

3.) always drink glasses of koolaid with two hands. remember
    to twitch at the shoulders as you swallow it.

4.) reminisce about past times with your close friends 
    by kicking their foot while they're walking
    and saying 'remember this?'

5.) always make sure there is enough milk for your
    breakfast cereal.  if the carton is empty, bang on
    the bottom in an attempt to get some out, even 
    though you know it's empty.

6.) warn people after a healthy bowel movement.  give
    them a suggested window of time before they enter
    the bathroom you previously occupied, maybe around
    35-45 minutes at the least.

7.) always call the bathroom sink the counter.  when you
    want someone to read you something sitting on the 
    sink when you are on the toilet, say "take a look at
    that paper there over on the c-c-c-ounter."

8.) it is almost always more effective to cup your hands
    around your mouth in a bullhorn fashion when shouting
    things like "yeaaaaa" across the street.

9.) when you want to inform your mother about an illict ice
    cream vendor, yell "MOMMA" as loud as you possibly can, 
    even though you are about a mile from your house.

10.) when you want to borrow something from a friend, they
     will be more likely to loan it to you if you tell them
     that 'it's the mack.'  for example, "craig lemme borrow
     your vcr right quick.  i wanna dub a tape. it's the mack!"