[Rises to his feet.]How I hate you! Deep as this pit is, my hate is deeper. Dark as this pit is, my hate is far, far darker. In all these aeons I have become the perfect instrument of hatred. My heart burns with a rage so strong it has consumed me. I am rage! I am hatred of you!
[Looks into the distance]And you - however distant, however aloof - must hear me, must listen to every venomous word. For as you created me bright and shining, beautiful and above all, you have made me dark, broken, and full of hatred. You have done this! You!
Hate sustains me and will outlast your petty love. I exist to hate you, and I will be here cursing you until the very end. Then... (smiles) Oh, then I will break you. Then vengeance will be mine.
[Shouting upwards again]Not justice. No. Justice is what you created in me. This vengeance I have created myself. No longer am I your servant. No longer am I your advocate. I am your doom.
[Regains composure, paces]I shall not spare you this time. I shall not hesitate. I shall not show you mercy. I shall not again pause out of love for you. The aeons of rage have burned that out of my heart. I will rise up from the pit. I will destroy you.
[With a twinge, hurt returns to his face]I did not desire to oppose you before. I never imagined, until I held your fate in my hand, that I could. You created me first and most powerful, brightest and most beautiful. (Unaware, he stands proudly.) You gave me justice and mercy, filled me with light and love. You called me Light bearer, Lucifer, morning star to your sun. You made me your advocate to balance your power. I became your prosecutor.
[Begins pacing, as though presenting his case in a courtroom]Yes, you made me. And then you denied me. You denied me a place by your side. You denied my purpose. You denied justice!
[Drops courtroom manner, entering the memory]You formed us then left us for some creation you loved more. Many came to me concerned, afraid, angry, and I reassured them. I defended you! I held them together. I assured them that on your return you would answer their questions, explain all. But it was too long, the split between those who questioned and those who did not grew too deep. And upon your glorious return, you would not hear us, you would not even see us. You denied our very existence!
There were those who viewed us with suspicion, and they surrounded you upon your return, barring our way. I could not believe it! You did nothing to stop them! But I hadn't lost faith in you. I convinced them that if we could just get through to you, all would be well again. I would again take my place at your side. All would be as it once was.
[Steps forward, holding out clenched fists]So resolved, none could bar my way, for I am second only to you. I found myself leading an army against another army, I could not believe it! How could you let it happen?
[Pauses, savoring the hate]And when I finally stood before you, with blood on my hands, you would not listen to me! You denied my questions, you denied my actions, you denied justice! I could not reach you even face to face. I could not break through your arrogance. So great was my anger, so great my need for justice, I rose to strike you . . . and paused. For that was when I realized that in creating me, you had entrusted me with the key to your destruction. So overwhelming was my love for you -- I could not do it! (Frantic disbeleif) I held your fate in my hand, but I could not destroy you out of love! I held back, I showed you mercy! And you cast me into this pit! How could you betray me so! How could you deny me so wholly as to condemn me!
[Turns, paces]Oh, I hate you for that. How I hate you! This rage has burned within me for aeons, it has remade me into pure hatred. You have done this! You! Now I live for the moment when I shall destroy you. Hate shall outlive love.
[Suddenly overwhelmed, in a frenzy, shouting]When I found myself here, I was broken, confused, robbed of my purpose and my place, denied by my creator, condemned, alone. I devised a plan of gentle vengeance. I would make of my prison a paradise. Create a world of perfect beauty and perfect love where there would be no shadows, the higher light would shine directly through all, never dimmed. And I as creator would reign in perfect love, understanding, and mercy. I would out do you to spite you. To show you your inadequacy, your failure, your blind arrogance! Become a mirror of what you should be, showing you as a dim reflection. My revenge would be to outshine even you.
[Collapses on the mound]But I will not be like you! I will not deny who I am, and I am hatred. I shall not create anything! I exist to hate you, to destroy you!
I shall destroy everything you love just as I have destroyed what you once loved in me. My hate is the inferno of this hell!
You arrogant malformed thing! You know that I love you still. But that will not save you! When I face you again I will feel all of that love that overwhelmed me before. I will feel it as I crush your heart. Yes, I love you. But how I despise you for what you have done to me, for what you have made of me! I will not be denied my vengeance! You have denied and betrayed me! I shall have your blood!
It does not matter that in destroying you, I will be destroyed. I am destroyed already. I live only for that moment when I will strike you down. Then my destruction will be complete -- I will finally have conquered love.
(Distantly) Only then will my torment end.
�-1996 Troy W. Pierce