The Victorian Wedding

Part Two--The Ceremony and Reception
 

Before the 1880s, a couple was required
by law to have a morning ceremony.
By the late 1880s, permissible hours
were extended until 3:00 p.m..
In the Eastern United States,
the fashionable hours were between 10:00 a.m.
and Noon because it was an English custom.
In New York in 1890,
half after three was also a fashionable hour.
Southern American weddings, however,
were almost always at 6:00 p.m.
because it was cooler then.

 The Ceremony

The marriage ceremony took place
either at home or in church,
with many guests or few.
In the 1850s, weddings were
almost always held in church,
and it was customary to use the bride's parish.
The clergyman and parish clerk were in attendance.
After the ceremony, the couple signed their name
in the parish register in the vestry.
The bride signed her maiden name.
Flowers decorated the church,
the arrangements growing more elaborate
as the decades wore on--
from potted palms to festoons
of evergreens and blossoms.

One usher was usually in charge
of matters at church,
while the others went to the
bride's house for their favors.
In England, the bride pinned favors of white ribbon,
flowers, lace and silver leaves on the ushers' shoulders.
In America, ushers wore boutonnieres in their lapels.
In early Victorian England, the bridesmaids
also made favors and pinned them on the sleeves
and shoulders of the guests as they left the ceremony.
Later in the era, even the servants and horses wore flowers.
The servants' favors were handmade by the bride
and included a special memento
if she'd known them from childhood.

Guests in mourning entered the church quietly
and hid amongst the crowd,
so as not to cast negative aspersions on the couple.

In England, a country bride and her wedding party
walked to church on a carpet of blossoms
to assure a happy path through life.
For the wealthier, a grey horse
pulling the wedding carriage
was considered good luck.
Church bells pealed forth
as the couple entered the church,
not only to make the populace aware
of the ceremony taking place,
but also to scare away any
evil forces lurking nearby.

The wedding ring was usually a plain gold band
with the initials of the couple
and the date of their wedding engraved inside.
There were few double ring
ceremonies in the Victorian era.
It was considered good luck for the ring to drop
during the ceremony,
thus all evil spirits were shaken out.

After the ceremony,
the bride and groom walked out
without looking left or right.
It was considered bad taste to acknowledge
friends and acquaintances.
The bride's parents were the first to leave the church,
and the best man the last
after he paid the clergyman for his services.
From a custom dating back to Roman times
when nuts were thrown after the departing couple,
the practice continued, but in the form of rice,
grain or birdseed, a symbol of fertility.
The wedding carriage awaiting
the bride and groom was drawn by four white horses.

If the ceremony was at home,
(as was popular in the 1890s)
the decorations were no less elaborate.
A profusion of white,
and another color according to the theme,
abounded in the bride's home,
adorning doorways, balustrades, windows and fireplaces.
In America, a good luck symbol
was hung over the spot where the
couple exchanged their vows.
This could be a bell, dove, wishbone,
or any other good luck symbol.

The Reception

Because of the early hour for weddings,
the reception was traditionally a breakfast.
It was an English custom to have a
Noon ceremony with the breakfast
thirty minutes later at the bride's home.
There, the couple received the guests
and accepted congratulations.
In the Eastern United States,
they emulated the English in their ceremonies.
In the West, they mimicked the East,
especially New York and Boston Society.

A special and elaborately decorated corner
was reserved in the bride's home
for receiving her guests.
The parents congratulated the couple first,
then stood nearby. In early Victorian times,
the maid of honor (or first bridesmaid)
stood near the bride to assist her.
Bridesmaids stood to the left and right of the couple,
while ushers guided the guests.
Etiquette dictated that guests address the bride first,
unless they were only acquainted with the groom,
in which case they congratulated the groom
and were then introduced to the bride.
The bride was never congratulated,
as it was implied that the honor was conferred
upon her in marrying the groom.

Guests were served standing,
although the bridal party was served seated.
If the house was large enough,
or the weather nice enough,
tables could be set up for the guests.
There was no entertainment at the wedding,
unless it was a lavish evening affair,
at which time there was dancing.
It was understood that the guests
needed no entertainment,
as they the honor came in
attending the wedding itself.

In early Victorian times,
there were usually three wedding cakes--
one elaborate cake, and two smaller ones
for the bride and groom.
The cake was cut and boxed
and given to guests as they left.
Traditionally the wedding cake was a dark,
rich fruitcake with ornate white frostings of scrolls,
orange blossoms, etc..
The bride and groom's cakes were not as elaborate.
Hers was white cake, his dark.
It was cut into as many pieces
as there were attendants
and often favors were baked inside for luck.
Each charm had its own meaning.
 
 
 
 

The ring for marriage within a year;
The penny for wealth, my dear;
The thimble for an old maid or bachelor born;
The button for sweethearts all forlorn.
 
 
 

This tradition died away with the century,
as the bridesmaids did not wish
to soil their gloves looking for the favor.
The cake the bride cut was not eaten,
rather it was packed away
for the 25^th wedding anniversary!

The Honeymoon

The bridal couple usually left
for their honeymoon after
the wedding breakfast.
The honeymoon originated
with early man when marriages were by capture,
not by choice.
The man carried his bride off
to a secret place where her parents
or relatives couldn't find her.
While the moon went through all its phases
-about 30 days-they hid from searchers
and drank a brew made from mead and honey.
Thus, the word, honeymoon.
The honeymoon is now considered a time to relax.

In the early 19^th century,
it was customary for the bride
to take a female companion along
on the honeymoon.
The bride wore a traveling dress,
which may have been her wedding dress,
especially if the wedding had been
an intimate affair with few family and friends,
or they were traveling by train or steamer
immediately after the reception.
Colors for the dress were becoming and practical--
brown or black for mid-Victorian.
But whatever she chose,
the bride was advised not to wear
something conspicuously new
out of respect to the sensitivity
of her husband who might not want people
to know he was just married.
If the bride was married in her traveling dress,
she often wore a bonnet with it instead of a veil.

If changing into the traveling costumes,
the bride and groom did so immediately
after the cake was cut.
Bridesmaids went with the bride to help her,
at which time she gave them
each a flower from her bouquet.
By the time the couple was ready to depart,
only family and intimate friends were present.
As the couple drove off in a carriage
pulled by white horses,
the remaining party-goers threw satin slippers
and rice after the couple.
If a slipper landed in the carriage,
it was considered good luck forever.
If it was a left slipper, all the better.

The best man preceded the couple
to the train or steamer to look after their luggage.
No one asked where the bride and groom were going.
It was bad taste. Only the best man knew,
and he was sworn to secrecy.

Finally, upon their return from their travels,
one final custom required that the groom
carry the bride over the threshold to their new house.
This would ensure that the bride did not stumble,
which would bring bad luck.

As you can see, Victorian traditions
were steeped in superstitions and age-old customs,
some of which we still follow toady,
though not necessarily in fear of evil spirits.