12.18.98

Damnit! I am pissed off. I hate when people don't know anything about their fricken job. Phone company has given me the shaft three days in a row and I'm fixing to blow up big time. It is so hard to keep calm. I'm not one that gets pissed of that easily but I do have my limits and they have gone way beyond them. Maybe I should just get out tonight and get drunk as planned. It's not normal for me to do that but hell it's been one fricken long year and I need it. Then again, maybe I should just stay home and let my nerves calm down. Makes no sense to go out just to drink so I can calm myself down. I would probably wind up in a lot of trouble doing that anyway. Hell, I don't know. I hate when my heart and my mind fight like this. Constant battle between the two -- the prime model of a Gemini. I shall see which has its way tonight though. My mind isn't made up yet......
errrrr
My heart won tonight. I am staying home. Just going to chill out and work on my web page tonight. One day I will have this thing up. It's hard to get it just right when a hundred different ideas jump in my mind after I've completed most of it. I find myself constantly making changes to it. I doubt it will ever be 100% to my liking. Oh well, c'est la vie. It keeps my mind occupied either way. I'm outta here...gonna relax with a hot cup of coffee then get into this stuff.

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