12.02.98
I think I have finally got passed the point in my life where I can put things that are "fantasy" in it's own category . And at the same time put "reality" in it's own also. Why has it been so hard for me to separate the two? It is still hard, but at least now, I can see it. Things that are meant to be, will happen ... in reality. My fantasies , on the other hand, could possibly become a reality but I may as well not hold my breath waiting because the probability of that happening is highly unlikely. And that was my lesson I've learned today. I've got a lot of feelings bottled up inside , still. They have to be let out. And today I've come to the realization that no matter how or what is said, I just need to say it and have no expectations. There may come a time eventually where it may become all so real. But right this minute, it's a dream. And that is hard to accept ... I have accepted it.