Since the 16^th century, the wedding has been a public ceremony for which the betrothed couple required both a religious and lordship’s consent. The marriage negotiations and the wedding itself involved the parents of the groom and bride as well as a broad circle of relatives and friends.

The feudal lordship did not support marriages among the poor people; therefore there was a regulation, officially until 1781 when personal serfdom was abolished. But in fact, until 1848, priests requested the approval of the feudal lord when poor, landless subjects wed. Daily laborers, farm hands, subtenants had to prove they were in a position to provide for the future family. The practice derived from the limited resources of an agricultural land. You may know that until 1869, it was not permitted to divide a farm among several descendants; only one of the sons could inherit the farmstead. Other sons had to search out a livelihood in the community.

Prince Adam of Schwarzenberg on his Bohemian estates issued an instruction, according to which the wedding would be allowed only to those, who were masters on their own farms. The prince himself had to approve the marriages of farmhands, daily laborers and other dependent inhabitants, since „....it is necessary to prevent marriage to those who multiply much, and have no sustenance secured."

After the „robota" - corvé or enforced labor was banned in 1848, the master’s consent was replaced by the community - township approval, and between 1855 - 1869 any marriage had to be approved by the district office. Only then was such a restrictive measure abolished.

Originally, the age of the couple was not limited, especially as far as the nobility was concerned. We know that it was quite usual for a 15-year old prince to marry a 12-year old princess. Even among the subject people the praxis was similar, and until 17^th century the marriages of young teenagers were frequent. In the 18^th century the matrimonial age was raised and the medium age of a groom was about 27 years, or 24-26 years in case of brides.

In west European countries the age of the engaged couple was by 3 years higher than in our lands. In the mid 18^th century, the average age of brides in Prague - Brevnov monastery parish was 24,7 years, and 26,1 for grooms. In towns these figures were higher than in villages. 25 per cent of 19-year old girls were already married in villages, whereas in towns it was only a portion of this number. Generally, the more we go to the east, the lower is the age of the bride and groom. The proportion of younger brides is noticeable in fertile areas of the Hana or Moravian Slovakia regions.

Since 1811, in Austria, when the first Civil Code came into existence, the law requested the parents’ consent with marriage of their children under 24 years of age. But also other limitations were imposed. The heirs of a farmstead were free of military service and thus they usually married in the age group, 18 - 20 years; however, the remaining, those who had to serve in the army, did not receive the master’s dispensation in their early twenties. Therefore we know many stories, legends and sad songs about girls waiting, and longing, twelve long years for their lovers until they returned from the military. Either she could not wait to see him, or he came from the war and found her married - sometimes against her will. Then he committed suicide or even murdered her.

Graph 1: The medium age of brides

Some of you probably know the rest station on the highway from Prague to Brno called Devet krizu - the Nine crosses. It was in the 17^th century, when a fiancé came home from the army and found his bride having a wedding with somebody else. In the night, when the marriage guests were sleeping, he killed his lover, her groom, the parents and some guests with an ax - nine persons in total. To commemorate this sad story, nine wooden crosses were erected there - and you may still find them, many times renewed.

Since 1800, the state and government officers too were banned from marrying without the approval of the superior, unless the clerk's salary reached a prescribed level.

Also the church, mainly the Catholic Church, introduced investigation, checking for any obstacles that should prevent a joining in matrimony. An institute of three publicly proclaimed bans was set up in churches during the sermon. Their aim was to inform the community that two people wanted to enter the matrimonial state, and the congregation was asked to present objections against the announced marriage.

In villages, where the movement of people was still limited, the church took under consideration a couple’s possible genetic relationship. Second cousins could marry only in cases of consistorial approval, known as dispensation in the 3^rd degree.

When the Letter of Tolerance was adopted in 1781, including non Catholics, the Protestants were allowed to marry a Catholic only when they expressed, in writing, that they would not attempt to change the partner’s faith. Moreover, they would agree to their children being educated in the Catholic faith.

Civic marriages have been allowed since 1868. These freethinkers were married in the presence of a district clerk and special wedding registers were kept in district offices.

The differences in age between the betrothed were sometimes rather high. This was caused by a high mortality, mainly the female mortality rate during and after the birth. The difference was high in cases of a second marriage involving a widowed man who preferred marriage to a young girl rather than to a widow nearer his own age.

If an older widow was not in a position to offer her groom some dowry - some property, her chance at re-marriage was less than minimal. A thirty-year-old widow was out of order. Similar problems for men occurred in their fifties and later. Statistically, fourteen per cent of women, over the age of twenty were widows. Widowed men, mainly farmers and tradesmen, married very shortly after the death of their first wife, in order to provide their children with a new mother and a housekeeper for the homestead.

In the 18^th century, the engaged couple was usually from the same village or within the same parish. Free movement of people was limited and when a groom wanted to marry a girl from a different estate, he had to be given permission to move there.

In Bohemia and Moravia there are regions, where people lived in isolation for centuries and they continued to marry within the confines of these families and/or professions in common (for instance millers). This led to genetic disorders.

This occurred in remote and isolated mountainous regions - valleys of the Beskydy and Valachia in Moravia, or in specific regions in Bohemia (- the Sumava/Boehmerwald, the Krkonose/Riesengebirge or Bohemia-Moravian Highlands). In the Valachian Mountains, I know a village, called Vysoke Pole with about 500 inhabitants. One half of them, i.e. some 60 families, are the Machu families (btw they have their private cemetery in Taylor, here in Texas). As early as the 18^th century, the proportion of persons marrying within the same village was being reduced.

Heterogeneity of marriages from the point of social origin was minimal until 20^th century. The grooms and brides were not only from one social class, but even from one section of the population. It was nearly impossible for a young poor man to marry a girl from a large farm. But this social equality was determined by the parity, honor and estate-respect rather, than by the property itself. My ancestors were millers, hailing from east Bohemian region of Litomysl. Several mills in a valley of the creek Desna belonged to them. There were about 20 mills in that valley and only 6 or seven millers’ families were in possession of them over centuries.

Love did not play a big role in a marriage, in the choosing of a partner. Luther said about his spouse: „I love her not out of my passion or glow, but out of my deference to her." Until the end of 17^th century, a marriage promise, carried out in the present of God and in front of a community, was in fact the confirmation of the marriage. If a girl became pregnant, or gave birth to a child, wherein the man, who had given the vow to this girl, declared himself father, so, this girl did not loose honesty and chastity. The religious confirmation of the marriage could follow later.

But in 17^th and 18^th century both main religions in Europe began condemning premarital sexual relations. Any intercourse prior to the priest's official joining of the two was prohibited. The system of triple marriage banns, and the priest's interrogation served to prevent, among others problems, incest and bigamy.

The best dates, for entering into marriage, were the months of January, February and November. During Lent (fasting months), i.e. time before Easter, and during Advent (time before Christmas), nobody could be married. May was a proper time, but there were several sayings about unhappy marriages, concluded in the month of May. On the other hand, there was no time for marriages during harvesting, i.e. in July and August. So it meant that as many as 30 to 40 percent of all weddings took place in November.

Graph 2: The marriages in Bohemia during the year.

As far as the day of marriage was concerned, until the first half of this century, most weddings were on a Tuesday. If you imagine, and I will speak about it later, the merry-making lasted for three days following the day of the wedding, Tuesday was really the only possible day in the week. The festivity ended on Saturday; Sunday was a day dedicated to the Lord.

Today most weddings occur on Saturdays only, however, in cities, on any day, dependent on the wedding clerk’s having a free slot.

Now, we came to the second part of my paper, dealing the various traditions, customs, and parts of the marriage.

Getting acquainted:

before: neighbors, members of the same congregation, pilgrimage and wakes, dancing parties, school

today: contacts in work, school, commuting, parties, discos, cultural performances, military service. O my, the Internet!

Usually the time between making an acquaintance and marriage is about two years.

Marriages between persons from the same village are not so frequent as before.

Today, there are informal relationships between parents and the engaged. Boys visit a girl’s family within several days of becoming acquainted. The friendship between the families is usually made only prior to the wedding. In the last century the first meeting with the parents had strict rules - fixed formulations, festive dressing, bouquets of flowers for the future mother-in-law. A girl visited the family of her boyfriend only when the relationship had turned serious.

When the parents agreed to the marriage of their children, a special procedure of courting was on: the negotiations took place in the bride’s house under the participation of the groom with his father and his best man, who was also called the matchmaker, in Czech either "kecal" or "kecon", the prattler. He had to be eloquent, and able to match the interests, requirements and liabilities of both parties.

In order to make an idea of such a matchmaker, please, remember this character in Smetana´s opera The Bartered Bride. Then also a mayor of the village - as an official representative - and a local scriber, usually a teacher or a veteran-soldier, attended the courting. The matchmaker opened the door saying: "Good evening, I am coming to you, if it is true that you’ve promised to give your daughter away to us indeed?"

The master of the house invited the whole community in; they all sat down around the table and the prattler started his speech: "Most esteemed sir and madam, most beloved parents! The reason, why we all come under your roof, is the desire of the honorable and high-minded young boy … (a name), son of the esteemed man …(a name), a neighbor of the village X, who is present here, to change his virginal stand and to enter the holy state of matrimony with this honorable, innocent and high-minded virgin, the most beloved daughter of yours, by the name …X, who has also clasped him to her heart, having fallen in love with him and having chosen him as her accepted spouse in the presence of God."

The young bride was sitting in the corner, with downcast eyes, turning red and pale. Neither was the groom speaking. Everything was on the best man on the groom's side, the bride's side was represented by an experienced, old woman, who was called the Old-of-the-marriage (stará svadby, or in dialect stará svarby)

The talk was about the dowry, that the bride would be receiving, as well as the property which the groom would be bringing into the marriage. When all was agreed on, the girl was asked, if she wanted to marry her boyfriend. If she nodded, then a marriage contract was written and undersigned by all parties.

Then the guests were treated with "kolace" and donuts. Men were offered beer, in the South of Moravia, wine or spirits. The groomsman put the bride's hand into the groom's, affirming the courting stage was ended, and preparations for the wedding could begin.

The marriage contracts had their established form. From the Middle Ages we know only of contracts in noble circles, but in 16th century the contracts between the subject people were already common. They are either as separate documents, or their wording was incorporated either to Land registers of the respective domains, or into special books of Marriage contracts, that were attached to a collection of Land Register Books, together with Books of Receipts, Sources Books, Books of Obligations etc.

In case the vital registers were destroyed, had not been preserved, or if we speak of a pre-vital registers period, then the Marriage contract can today serve as a primer source of genealogy information. The far-better method is in Bohemia, whereby the Marriage records in the District Archives in Chrudim or Litomysl have been preserved (either in documentary form, or written in Books) even from 16th and 17th centuries. In Moravia, unfortunately, the first Marriage Contracts records can be traced only to the middle of the 18th century and seldom earlier.

The signing of a marriage contract was considered proof of the concluded marriage, and the wedding in front of a priest only confirmed this state. The groom's and the bride's families immediately after signing considered each other as relatives and they behaved in such a way.

As an example, here is a text of such a contract from 1830s between my GGGfather and his bride. Their wedding took place after the harvest 1836 (on 30th August). Two and half months before their wedding day, the groom and the bride concluded the Marriage Contract that starts with following paragraphs:

A very important part of the marriage contract is an agreement, referring to vymenek - some kind of stipulation, which was made in favor of the ceding party. Vymenek or vymenkar are two terms you can meet even in the vital registers, in a column, indicating the occupation of parents, but actually, the grandparents to be, e.g. Jan Holas, vymenkar in Rychnov. In fact it is not an occupation, but a social status, indicating, that Jan Holas is a retired farmer, who lives with his heir's family in a reserved part of the farm. In the ceding contract /or marriage contract he stipulated that his heir be obliged to provide him and his wife a separate flat (or at least a room) on the farmstead, usually in the rear tract of the farm, until the end of their lives. Such a flat is then called vymenek. But this agreed-to clause might also be a share on the yearly crop of corn, vegetables, hay, place in a cellar, in stable, or even the financial settlement. (extra pocket money for purchase of tobacco).

I have already mentioned that the approval of the lordship and later of the community or the district office was a must. A certificate of good conduct and health, issued by these bodies, are other documents that can still be found in our archives: "… the committee of the village Lhota confirms, that Anna Benes, 19-year-old daughter of Pavel Benes, is of strong body, and is of overall good health, at first sight, a girl able and capable of performing extremely heavy handwork…The committee of the village has no objections against her marriage even from the political point of view. "

When the wooing was finished the groom and his father asked the lordship for their consent and the priest for announcing the planned marriage in three banns, subsequently in three following weeks. Sometimes it happened, that the organization of the marriage was in a hurry (you probably know why), and then the banns were announced "once for three times"

While the banns were announced in the church, the other members of the congregation were requested to name any objections, in case they knew some circumstances that could prevent the conclusion of the marriage.

There was a saying, that the bride should hear herself the third banns in a church, "…in order to be happy in the matrimony". There was another custom, the groom was asked to plant three trees on the side of a road, or to pay a quarter instead. The groom and the bride exchanged some small presents before the marriage - it could be a scarf, shoes, a hand written prayer book and so on.

State district archives in many cases keep the Protocols of these examinations from various parishes. The Churdim´s Distict Archives have a complete files beginning in 1788. Same Protocols from Valachian parishes in the valley of the river Becva are preserved unfortunately, only from 1840 onwards. In some cases these protocols are kept among other church archives, still in their respective parishes. They were not transferred to the State archives.

The couple had to answer "according to the truth" to any and each placed question. They had to state their names, religion, age, occupation, family stand, i.e. if the groom or bride are still single - unmarried, or if they are a widower or a widow, whether they have their parents’ approval and blessing etc. Some questions were of an intimate nature (mostly placed to widowers): "Haven't you been with any other person and haven't made her pregnant?" Or (for a bride), " Haven't you been forced under threat or violence by your parents or any other people to this marriage?" The answers to the questions had to be confirmed by two independent witnesses, who were also asked, if the groom and the bride were not in any familiar relation.

Invitations to wedding guests were usually done personally by the bride and the groom, in some regions, by the groomsman and by the bridesmaid. Only remote-dwelling friends or relatives were invited in writing. It was a must that the whole kin had to be invited, sometimes even the third cousins. Special attention was given to the invitation of godparents. The young couple had to invite them three times; otherwise they would not take part. In rural areas of Bohemia and Moravia it was not unusual for 100, even 200 guests to be in attendance. Today it depends on how established are the traditions observed in both families. When I married in 1976, we had only parents, witnesses and four close relatives.

Today a printed Letter of Announcement is sent to a broad circles of friends and relatives. If the addressees are invited to actually participate, a written notice is attached.

The wedding pastries are made a week before the wedding itself. The pastries are delivered to a broad circle of relatives, friends and acquaintances, more often distributed by children. They are cooked from a raised paste and filled by curds, poppy seed, damson cheese, nuts etc. and the smaller they are, the better. Sometimes you may see the kolache not exceeding one square inch.

If a girl wants to marry, she must eat them under the table.

On the eve of the marriage day, the groom and the bride were parting with their contemporaries. This habit was called Farewell to Freedom or "Kasace" in the Eastern Bohemia or "svica" in Moravia. The groom's and the bride's farewell evening was organized separately. They met their friends, sometimes even former lovers, there was singing, dancing and drinking. The bridesmaids were making daisy chains and garlands, that the following day decorated the bride's house, cart and horses on the way to the church.

There was no invitation to these parties - everybody who came was welcomed. This tradition of the farewell party is kept until nowadays too, usually it is held, not the last night before the wedding, but one, two or three days earlier.

The groom's farewell parties are lively and buoyant, whereas the bride's are rather serious. At the beginning the bride stood up, with a flower-wreath around her head and said:

As mentioned earlier, only Tuesday was the day for a wedding. After WWI Saturday, or sometimes Friday became the marriage days, too. People entered into marriage mostly from January till March and then from end of September till November. The least popular month was May. People believed that entering into marriage in this month would bring unhappiness in the life, or even the death. There was a saying in Bohemia: "V máji máry" - "the marriage in May - the bells ring soon"

The marriage guests from the bride's side gathered in the bride's house beginning in the early morning. They brought eggs, flour, butter, or had sent some contributions a day before for the wedding reception. The maids decorated the guests with rosemary or myrtle twigs and with red or white ribbons.

The groom, together with his guests came to the wedding house later. In front of the parade a special, three-to-five-story wedding cake was held. The bride was usually hidden in the house and the first task of the groom was to find her, but when all attempts to find her failed, the old maid-of-the-wedding brought her to the front of the house.

After the blessing the groom expresses his thanks to the bride's parents and the bride thanks her future parents-in-law.

After a small refreshment, or breakfast, (coffee, cookies, roast pork, presswurst, wine, spirits and beer) the groomsman accompanied the bride to the coach, decorated by garlands entwined the previous day. On the way, he pronounced following words: "Come, my dear, come my dove. Once you gave a kiss to your boy, today you give him your hand. Today your virginity will be changed into matrimonial holy stand. Your blossom-chain is high-priced, but your groom is priceless. In love and concordatly you will have the Eden of the world."

Then the wedding-parade set out for the church. The coach with the groom and his parents as the first, followed by the guests and the last was the bride's coach. On the way to the church the wedding-guests scattered cakes, kolace, sweets, sausages, roast-meat and exceptionally even pocket money. The bride was to show to the people, how generous she could be.

The rank of the wedding parade in Moravia is different. In front are little bridesmaids and grooms lads, then the groom with the old bridesmaid, followed by the bride with the old groomsman. Then witnesses, sponsors, parent and other guests.

One coach was reserved for decorated wedding cakes. I showed you already, how such a wedding-cake looked in Moravia. In Bohemia, they were slightly different.

They were baked in a round form from a raised paste, being filled with flavored curds or poppy and the surface was decorated by figural motifs of fried donut paste.

There were figures of the bride and the groom, of a baby, and of some animals, the most popular among them were the squirrels. The figures were on long twigs, sometimes even one meter long, stuck in the cake body. Nuts, raisins, paper, ribbons, laurel or juniper twigs decorated other sticks.

Today the coach is replaced by motorized horses. The cars are decorated by white ribbons, from one edge of the windscreen to the opposite. Drivers are honking in order to draw attention. Sometimes even a big American six-door-limousine is hired.

Then the ceremony in the church begins.

Beginning in 1870, civil weddings were allowed for persons without any religious affiliation, or when the religious ceremony could not take place. During the socialist republic the civil ceremony was obligatory. But now, according to the newest law, the religious wedding can replace the civil one, and thus the civil ceremony is no longer necessary.

In the Catholic rite, the wedding ceremony is a part of the Mass. During the ceremony, the young couple attempt some little jokes, but they are done in secret, in order that no one should take notice. Among these customs we may quote the following:

whoever genuflects second, will be the one, who will have the upper hand in the matrimony

the bride tries to tread on the groom's foot, with the same intention

during the ceremony the groom should give the bride a coin, in order to never become destitute in their future lives.

After the ceremony, the guests were returning to the bride's house, where a reception was provided. The married couple rode in the first coach now, for the first time together. Village inhabitants or rascals tried to stop the coach by a rope with multicolored ribbons across the road and the couple had to free themselves by monetary payment, or by offering some drink. This habit is called zatahovani, i.e. closing the passage. It is practiced even today, only the ribbons are replaced by various kitchen utensils, like a colander, or kitchen spoon, or a pacemaker or any babydressing.

During this passage closing the groom and the bride are informed by friends (mostly in rhyme), regarding behavior in their newly joined lives. Over the groom's neck a horse-collar is hung and a heavy iron ball on the chain is fastened to his leg.

In front of the bride's house there is a big, fat log prepared on the sawhorse and the groom must saw it in half (the saw is blunt), in order to show that he will be the one is obedient, patient and industrious.

A similar task is prepared for the bride. The groom's mother dropped some china plates in front of the bride who had to sweep the trash. Until today, we have an old saying: "The trash brings happiness."

Such was a congratulation of wedding guests before the reception started.

In the 19th century the reception had its own rules and all the courses were prepared by the bride's mother and village cooks. Today only pastries/kolace are home made and the receptions are organized in restaurants.

The groom was sitting at the head of the table, his bride on his hand, sometimes in a corner and on two chairs. The parents, witnesses and grandparents were sitting on either sides of the table.

After the grace and a toast, the soup (beef or poultry bouillon) was served. The groom and the bride were eating by spoons bound together with a rope, in other regions the groom fed the bride and then they ganged the roles, sometimes even blindfolded. Another joke was a spoon full of holes.

The meals were served by young lads. The groomsman cheered up the society in breaks between the meals. The first meal was roasted pork with cabbage and dumplings, or beef sirloin with cream sauce, stuffed goose (with apples), or roasted dug with potato dumplings.

During the entire reception, the bride should not be loud, she should eat a little and she should not laugh. If she should not obey these instruction she could be unhappy in the marriage.

One of the meals used to be gruel, sprinkled by grated gingerbread, nuts and almonds, sugar and poured by liquefied butter. It happened sometimes, when the guests were euphoric, in high spirits, they used to throw the mush and more of it was on dresses then in stomachs.

After one or two main meals, a desert and a cake with coffee is served and then free entertainment with music follows. During the dancing the customs, weirs and jokes continued:

- money was collected for the cradle

- the cook came with request to pay for the soap (during cooking they became dirty easily)

- the friends played a scene with an illegitimate child and the groom had to pay himself off this unwanted relationship.

The entertainment continued until the morning, the young couple still sleeping separately.

The next day was the day, when the bride followed her man to his house. Village married women came to the bride's house to give her small presents, especially the cones of spun flax. They wound the flax round a stick, then decorated it by scarves and ribbons and they put a wreath of dried plums and figs on the top.

The bride was then ready to move. Everything in the dowry was placed on an open car and the car went through the whole village, allowing neighbors to view the bride’s riches. The flax stick was hoisted at the top. There was a saying - a bride with the cone.

The bride and the groom sat on the car’s hood, the guests in following cars. Many people accompanied them through the whole village. They were dancing and singing. One of the themes is the following:

The groom's mother came out of the house, when the parade stopped at the front door and acknowledged the bride. There was somewhere a broomstick laying thrown away. If the bride took the broom up and asked, where to put it, the mother-in-law was satisfied. The bride will be polite and industrious.

Around noontime, a lunch (but we say rather a dinner) was again served. After the lunch the young couple, their parents, all wedding guests and village neighbors went to the party, which was usually held in the local inn.

During those two days, the bride still had a chain of flowers around her head and the face (or hair) was covered by a veil. Both were the symbol of innocent virginity. Now, when it was growing dark, the bride had to be brought before her husband.

This was a very long procedure, when all women gathered around the bride in a separate room, dressed her over and informed her about the last secrets of the matrimony life. She sat down and they took off her wreath (crown) and the veil and replaced them with a special ornamental bonnet. This symbolized the transformation of a girl to an adult woman.

When preparing her, they were singing special songs, nearly ritual songs.

Then the young couple spent their first night together.

During the week following the wedding, the young woman was not allowed to visit her parents in order to prevent sadness. She had to get used to a new home. The virginal wreath had to be kept for life to commemorate the matrimonial oath.

After a week, the young couple visited the bride's parents and with a festive dinner the wedding time was definitely over. Normal family life could begin….

K. Kysilka

Zlin, July 2000