Love When I'm Ready

My life is such a tangled web,
That if someone were to suggest I sleep on it,
I would need to sleep for more than a thousand years.
And even then it wouldn't be right, something would be wrong.
For even a dozens left's couldn't make one right in my life,
and what am I to do, when all I have is left's?
When, for all the world, I do not care to love again,
Nor do I want to try and find those feelings.
Some have lived all their lives without it as well
But I have to stop and wonder...were they happy?
Oh, it does not matter if they were or not.
At least they were never broken down to the bone.
Every night I say to myself "I'll sleep on it".
And I do, yes, but the next day is no better than the last.
I will not search for love, no, it is too early for me.
But when the time is right, I will, and I will find it.
For now, however, my life is still in emotional choas.
I do not wish to find love yet, not quite now, no.
I will find love when I'm ready to,
But no sooner than I'm wanting to.