BLEED SAILORMOON BLEED by DDFA (Mark A Page) -------------------------------------------------------------------- Sailormoon is owned by a whole lot of people who aren't me, so I'm only abusing these characters in a manner that most people would describe as scandalous. ^_^ Warning - This story contains scenes of graphic violence of the visceral kind, and concepts that may be somewhat disturbing to some. I would, therefore, suggest that none of you kiddies read it. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Enemies have this tendency to want to kill lots of people, and this is especially true of anyone who stands in their way. Sailormoon stood her ground, holding on to a bleeding Mercury, as the last of Deathmaster's guards died from the simplest of attacks that she was still capable of sending. She then turned to her senshi and felt ill. The girl's face was covered with her own blood and that of the guards. She was panting heavily, her eyes closed. She also no longer had her right arm. Nearby lay Mars, her skull cracked open and her guts ripped open, lying on top of the body of the guard who killed her in this manner, still smoking from the last fire blast she would ever send. On the other side of the room was Venus, sitting up against the cavern wall, still with that shocked expression she'd had on her face the moment a hole was blown through her chest. Her hand was still clutching her Venus Love Me Chain, the other end wrapped around the broken neck of her murderer. Uranus and Neptune went out together, clearing the entrance to Deathmaster's lair. Before anyone else had an opportunity to react upon the appearance of the guards, they'd piled straight in, sacrificing themselves in a manner that only they were capable of doing. Their bodies lay together, shredded, their flesh and blood splattered throughout the equally splattered remains of the three hundred guards they took out with them. But that was nothing compared to what Jupiter and Saturn took out, together. Jupiter had gone into a sheer blood frenzy as soon as she'd seen Uranus and Neptune die, ripping the heads and limbs off guards with her bare hands, taking the most horrible of wounds without even feeling them. She continued to kill for up to ten minutes after it was painfully obvious that she was already dead. It had to have been hard to keep standing after having had your heart ripped from your chest. Sailormoon could no longer see her. Her body lay under a pile of guards' corpses. But she could see Saturn. The girl never had an opportunity to destroy the world, as was her role, when it looked like an enemy was going to win. Instead, she'd hacked and chopped her way through guards with a spinning and twirling Silence Glaive, first in an attempt to save Uranus and Neptune, then in an equal attempt to save Jupiter, and finally in a desperate attempt to save herself. She almost succeeded, too! Almost. An explosive blast from one of the guard's generals finished her. Now she rested, still standing, both hands on the glaive, whose blade had been thrust through the head of that general. Their loss wasn't in vain, though. All those senshi, who had died, had managed to decimate the number of guards until there were no more than six or seven left. Even so, it was foolhardy for someone like Mercury, whose powers were intrinsically defensive, to try to take them on. Still, there seemed to be a lot in her armory of attacks that Sailormoon hadn't seen before. She wondered why Mercury had never used them. Then one of the last two guards gripped her by the arm and tore it off, then backhanded her across the cavern. Sailormoon had only just managed to catch her when she felt Pluto's hand on her shoulder. She looked up into Pluto's eyes, and something passed between them.... Something she wished had never had to happen. Then Pluto charged forward, blasting both guards with her Dead Scream. One died, the other was still alive enough to swing at her and break her neck. Sailormoon finished him. And none of them had even managed to get close to taking on Deathmaster, himself. Sailormoon looked sadly into the face of Mercury as she felt the girl go cold, her breathing coming to a stop. Slowly, she lowered her senshi to the ground. "How touching...." Came a small but annoying voice from the entrance to Deathmaster's lair. She turned and stared at the demon from space, himself. Nothing more than a dwarf. A dwarf with immense powers, but the most smarmy, smug and repugnant dwarf that one could ever hope to bear witness to. She sneered at him with total contempt. He merely chuckled. "Looks like your friends did my guards for a treat." He turned and reached into the nearest pile of dead guards, rummaging around in the sickening mess, eventually pulling out a human arm. Jupiter's arm. "Well well well, what do we have here?" He tossed it towards Sailormoon. "She did a good job. Pity she was a Sailorsenshi. I really would have liked to have someone like that guarding me." "You b..bastard!" Sailormoon croaked. "Why did you come to our world? Why did you have to infect our planet with your presence?" Deathmaster chuckled, shaking his head. "I was hungry. Why else would I come to a planet with living beings? I do it everywhere I go. Invade the planet, take control and harvest the lifeforms. When the planet is dead, I move on. Quite an enjoyable little quest." He rubbed his chin. "I wonder how I'll cook you? Should I stew you, or have you roasted, with steamed vegetables." "Oooohhh.... Yes master. Let me roast her, I shall make you the finest roast princess in the universe." A sniveling little toad of a creature, dressed in a chef's white coat and hat, sharpening some meat knives as he salivated over the carnage in the cavern, stepped out from behind Deathmaster. His lord turned to him, smiling. "In time, Gaston.... I just want the pleasure of killing her, myself." Deathmaster looked back up at Sailormoon, rubbing his hands together. Gaston laughed inanely. "Oooh, yesss. Make sure to tenderise the meat, first. These princesses can be pretty tough to work with, otherwise." Sailormoon gritted her teeth in sheer disgust. "I shall never let you eat the living beings of MY world." "Oh do shutup." Deathmaster smiled, and fired a blast of energy in her direction. She tried to dodge, but failed. She was flung to the rear wall of the cavern, striking it with a sickening thud. She stared in shock as she slid down, leaving a trail of blood behind her. "Can't lose.... Not to this freak...." She whispered to herself as she stared at the floor, having rested in a sitting position, feeling the warm, wet sensation of her blood, running down her back. "Heeeheeeheee...." Gaston started to dance around. "I should collect some of the other senshi and fry them down.... The juices shall make a lovely base for the gravy...." Sailormoon looked up as Deathmaster approached, a feeling of sickened fear crossing her face. "Yesssss.... That's right, Sailormoon. Bleed! BLEED!" He stepped right up to her, grabbing her chin with a hand. "I HATE you. I despise all of your kind. Even when I was a child, back on my homeworld, I hated you. Back in the days when I was a member of the anti-senshi party...." He smiled. "We used to hunt your kind down and burn you on the stake. Witches! 'Burn the Witch', we used to shout. And then you routed us.... Drove us to the point of extinction, until there was only one of us left...." He sneered at her with contempt. "Bleed, Sailormoon. Bleed for what you kind did to mine." "Potatoes, carrots, beans and peas.... Pumpkins, cauliflowers, cabbages and suedes.... Teeheeheeheehee...." Gaston hopped from senshi body to senshi body, dragging them back to a small pile in the center of the cavern. Sailormoon watched, dazedly, as he grabbed Pluto and dumped her on top of the others, remembering what passed between them before she died. "You think it's that simple.... Do you?" She looked up at Deathmaster, croaking. He frowned. "What do you mean?" "Do you think.... that we would let you... just get away with what you are doing? What you have done?" She smiled, feeling the darkness starting to descend on her, willing it to come, fast. Deathmaster backed away. "GASTON! She's smiling! Why is she smiling? WHY?" He blurted out, suddenly filled with a sense of fear he had not felt, before. Gaston looked up as he started to carve up the senshis' bodies into useable portions. "My lord?" "She's SMILING! She shouldn't be doing THAT! Not NOW!" Sailormoon shook her head. "There was one thing you never took account for, when you came to our world. Pluto never ever allows herself to lose. Not even in death." She chuckled, painfully. "She placed the continued existence of this system into my body. When I die, everything goes with me." "NOOOOOOOO!" Deathmaster cried out in a splenetic rage. Sailormoon died, the blood loss finally taking its toll. The solar system evaporated in a supernova the likes of which had not been seen for millennia.... A VERY DEFINITE END -------------------------------------------------------------------- THE VARIOUS RANTS AND RAVES ABOUT THIS FIC ^_^ (The names of the majority of those who have responded have not been included to protect the innocent. The one name whose comments HAVE been included can be verified by anyone from the FFML.... And, of course, an opinion from the nice people at the "A Sailormoon Romance" site. ^_^ Dear Sir: I haven't been able to find a job. I haven't been able to get social assistance. I haven't eaten well in nearly a month. I'm going to be evicted from my appartment on Monday unless I come up with three hundred and nine dollars in unpaid rent, and I don't have anywhere to go. My parents have said I can move in with them, but there's no way in hell they're going to be able to get out from B.C. to Edmonton in time. And I'm nearly twenty-three years old. My computer has died, taking with it the almost completed final chapter of "Best of All The Years II", my last true obligation. And then this. Thank you, DDFA. You've made the worst day of my life complete. I hope your death is as painful and humiliating as mine. Yours sincerely, Chris Davies. The doomed. ----o I think a better title would be "Slaughter Night 8 : Deathmasters Revenge" This is the most gory fic I have ever read, and makes me wonder if the author has lived in a meat factory their entire life (Not that is a bad thing). The kill count is massive and unforgiving.. Just how I like it! ----o First, there was Usagi is Dead 1. Then, there was SIU. Then, there was Usagi is Dead 2. Then, this. I've probably missed a couple things in there, but I don't care. To quote a phrase: "I sense a trend here." Mark, you're a good writer from a technical standpoint. You've got a lot of skill at crafting prose. But if you hate the series this much... STOP F***ING WRITING IN IT! This was not a labour of love, like every other fanfiction I've read. This was not exploring a dimension in the series, or a new story, or anything. This was: "I felt like killing of the Senshi in a gruesome and horrible way. Let's share it with everyone." This felt like a labour of hate from begining to end. Please, Mark, I beg you. If you hate Sailor Moon, just don't write in it. ----o That's absurd. Nobody eats that fast and eventually someone would stop him...or he'd get fat. ----o Hmmm.... OK, I am not going to jump on the bandwagon of "How dare you write this". OTOH, I don't necessarily feel this is of the quality and skill of your previous works, either. I _like_ Usagi is Dead and SIU, so I think I'm at least entitled to point out what I consider to be a major flaw in this piece. It isn't the death of the Senshi. Hell, the girls die all the time. You've gotta figure that, at some point, the odds are gonna catch up with them. It's the attitude. I see no evidence, in any of series that I've seen, that Usagi (or Pluto or most of the others) woule be willing to destroy innocent lives just to rob a villain of victory. Yes, Saturn is supposed to destroy the world, if things come down to that. But even then, she's destroying the world to save the universe from whatever is attacking the world. If Usagi and Pluto conspire to destroy the Universe, who are they saving? C'mon, Mark, you can do better. ----o Whoa! Very well done if a tad gross. I can easily see Sailor Moon doing just what you had her do to save the solar system from being eaten *shudder* Congrats on a very dark but very well written little story! ----o Hmmm.... Wouldn't they all have died anyway ? I mean If the villain won wouldn't you think the villain would do something to the world he just conquered instead of stand there and gloat ? I mean he DID say he was going to cook and eat everybody on the planet. I guess what it comes down to is would you rather died in a quick,impersonal supernova explosion or a VERY personal slow roasting death (or boiled? or fried ? or parched ? or raw ? etc.) ----o How depressing. No, I'm not talking about the storyline, deaths don't have that affect on me, due to certain life events. I'm talking about just how clumsy you were in your psychological execution here(ooo, pun). Evoking true emotion (ie, not just outrage) from such events usually requires some subtlety, but all you've done is gone the spamfic option; slamming home your point without any finesse. I'm not sending this out of outrage, or anger, or righteous fury. I'm sending this because I found the story _boring_, and that's a far more compelling reason to point out that the plot has severe problems(even a Serenity such as the one hinted at in my SM story wouldn't allow the universe to be destroyed as some sort of hissy 'I hate losing' fit. No Usagi which wasn't believability-inhibitingly OOC would do it). Either give more setup, try to evoke some true emotion somewhere - which could be anything as simple as staring into one of the Senshi's unclosed eyes or something, or else don't bother trying to pretend that this isn't just what we all take it as - a relatively sad shout for attention, a shockfic. And as far as shockfics go, I'm afraid, I thought it was a bit of a fizzer. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Comments _and_ criticism, that's what the list is for. ----o The thing of it is, that's never been Usagi's way. Setsuna *might* try to set up something like this -- the Outer Senshi have always been more machiavellian and pragmatic than the Inner -- but Usagi would never go along with it. She's always convinced that there is another way, a way to save everyone, even the villains -- and usually she's right. Where did Pluto get the power to do this, anyway? It doesn't seem to fall into the sphere of mastery of time. Further, I don't think she'd have the power to affect Serenity like that without her consent (which, as I've said, I don't think she'd give) -- if nothing else, the Ginzuishou could sever the tie. For that matter, the Ginzuishou is usually Usagi's weapon of last resort, not self- destruct deadmans switches -- why isn't it even mentioned? Basically, I don't see that there's actually very much of anything in this story. It can basically be summed up as 'This senshi dies, then this senshi dies, then this senshi dies in a particulary gory way, then the villain brags, then Sailor Moon dies, then everything blows up.' It attempts to play on the heartstrings, but substitutes slasher-movie violence for emotional connections and sacrifice. It's not too interesting in terms of plot, and there's little in the characterization of note. As far as 'let's kill everyone to destroy the main villain' plots go, I felt far more genuine emotion and even shock from the last two episodes of the first season, which have ten times the impact with less then a tenth of the gore. The problem with this is that it's dark, but not innovative. It's even only vaguely believable in its darkness. If you want to do believable Sailor Moon darkness, I recommend keeping everyone in character for it, and starting by reviewing the darkest episodes of the actual series. The end of the first season, Haruka and Michiru at the Marine Cathedral, the final story arc against Galaxia -- all times when senshi go willingly to their deaths, that involve the viewer far more than any gruesome descriptions of skulls getting caved in or flesh being flayed from bones. You do have a certain amount of skill as a writer. However, you still need to work on craft issues, such as constructing an involving plot, creating genuine emotional resonses, and selecting a subject matter that is both satisfying to you and interesting to your audience. You've got potential, but you'll have to really work to realize it. ----o Chris, I just have to disagree with you. Mark loves Sailor Moon, it's his favorite anime OR manga. I can tell from the care and detail he puts into each scene and character. If he hated SM, he wouldn't put as much effort into as he does. He doesn't hate Sailor Moon, he just likes his Sailor Moon dark. That's all. P.S. Chris Davis, if you send me a flame concerning my defense of Mark, it will go public. You have been warned. ----o Hmm.... Those poor Sailors! Still, a crueler fate would've been to sentence them to live on forever in an American-dubbed version! ----o Well, since this is considered spam, I won't comment anymore, but I'd love to be cooked and eaten. Very personal death. But then, I'm a sicko. ----o Some people try and read WAY too much into stories sometimes. We would classify your fic as a "popcorn" fic. The kind where you put your brain into neutral and read cuz you like the author for instance. Its not like SIU where you have to really pay attention in order to catch the subtle stuff that's going on. Its sort of like your "Barking Snout" ones but with a lot more plot. You write down ideas into stories. Lot of people do that but not many let others read them. People are just seeing a different style to your writing. They don't like it, tough! :) ttyl A&L -------------------------------------------------------------------- _________ / @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page) / / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@merlin.net.au /\ Chief Propaganda Officer, Keeper of \/ \/ the Tapes and Co-Founder of the Saitou-chan \___________/ Appreciation Society - Adelaide Japanese /_/ \_\ PU Animation Society