Title: The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... Part 31 Author: Dark Day For Anime (Mark A Page) Email: ayanami@merlin.net.au ICQ: 9845111 IRC: DDFA on DALnet & Austnet #AJAS's Fic Rating: Rated out of the ballpark. The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... by Aino Minako (In DDFA's absence) Part Thirtyone - The Fnord -------------------------------------------------------------------- ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene: A dark cavern in the middle of Hades. All is still. Suddenly, there is a wheezing and groaning sound, and a 1960's London police telephone box materialises. The door to the box opens, and a round-faced, burly man with curly light hair and wearing a coat of various clashing colours over a shirt and trousers in black-pinstriped canary yellow, and green and red shoes, exits and stands, taking in his surroundings. Grabbing the lapels of his coat, he takes a breath. Doctor 6: Truggle fuggle snoppity bloop, kerfle frubble kelpritipity snorb blukkity herkle perkle. Nodding with satisfaction, he gets back into the telephone box, which promptly disappears, to the same chorus of wheezing and groaning. Meanwhile, in the Headquarters of Hades, at the front desk, The Lovely Angels are waiting for someone to serve them. Kei: ..... Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: ..... Kei: Do you get the feeling we're being ignored? Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: Somewhat. Kei: Maybe the tentacle demon that is supposed to serve here is hatching a dastardly plan to ravish our young and attractive bodies in horrible ways. Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: We can only hope. It'd be the first time you've got any. Kei: Is not. Yuri: Is so. Kei: Is not. Yuri: Is so. Kei: What about Yamamoto-san? Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: I don't think a female fighter pilot really counts. Kei: Yamamoto-san was FEMALE? Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: So, it's the Tsujimoto Affair all over again. Kei: I was only kidding. I never did anything with Yamamoto- san. Yuri: No, but I did. Kei: You wish. Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: Do you get the feeling we should have just stormed this place, instead? Kei: That's what I said, not five minutes ago. Yuri: That was fifty minutes ago. Kei: Oh really? Doesn't time fly when you're having fun? Yuri: Oh, so you've been having fun when I've had my back turned, have you? Kei: So would anyone else. Yuri: I don't mean THAT kind of fun. Kei: Well what do you think I've been doing? Playing Solitaire? Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: Pick those cards up from the floor. Kei: They're airline cards. They can keep. Yuri: So they are. Kei: ..... Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: They're United Airlines cards. Kei: Yeah? So? Yuri: Don't you know it's safer flying solo than it is flying United? Kei: Company expenses aren't what they used to be. Yuri: Next thing you'll tell me you've been flying Qantas. Kei: Only in the mating season. Yuri: Baka. Yuri slaps Kei one across the back of the head. Kei: Ow! Be careful. Yuri: Why? Kei: I don't have many neurons left. I need them in case we get in trouble. Yuri: I doubt that, somehow. Meanwhile, further into the building, Shishio, still wrapped in his bandages despite the fact that he is dead and could look like anything he really desired other than a Mummy Man, comes bursting through the door to Koenma-Sama's office. Shishio: HAH! I have come to take over Hell! He paused when he sees Mokona sitting at the desk. Mokona: Puu. ^_^ Shishio's squeeze, Yumi and a man with a moustache, a blindfold with kanji written on it and a turtle shell, Usui, peer over Shishio's shoulder. Usui chuckles in his deep, gravelly voice. Usui: Get outta this one, asshole! Shishio: Damn you, BATTOUSAI! Yumi: There is no point blaming others for your own fuckups, dearie. Mokona: Puu. ^_^ In another part of the building, Koenma-sama and Usagi are making their way towards the records office. Koenma: Och, ah think you'll lark yon wee person we hired ta keep tha records. Usagi: Ah really? Who be this yon wee person? Koenma: Wah don't ya meet for yeself, lassie? Koenma stops by a door and pushes it open. Usagi can see a huge room beyond, containing row after row of files, books and other assorted record-keeping paraphernalia. Usagi can't see anyone inside. Usagi: So, wah be this wee person? I mean, where is this person? Koenma: He be sittin' in tha main desk, lassie. Can't you see? Usagi looks at the chair by the main desk, turned away from her, but can't see anyone in it. Usagi: He's either incredibly small, or he's invisible. Koenma: Ah pants! He's raht in froont of ye. Koenma-sama calls into the office. Koenma: Oi, laddie, Ahve got a visitor fer ye. The chair slowly turns, and Usagi can see a small, SD-Monkey, with an earring through his ear, smiling at her as he munches on a cookie. ChuChu: Chuuuuuu! ^_^ Usagi: Erk.... Koenma: That's be him, lassie. Our keeper of tha records, ChuChu. ChuChu: Chuuu. Chu chu chu chu. ^_^ Usagi: ..... Koenma: ..... ChuChu: Chu. ^_^ Usagi: ..... Koenma: ..... ChuChu: Chu. ^_^ Usagi: I think I've discovered part of the outside force that has railroaded this fanfic. Meanwhile, in the main office of the hospital, the Mokona clone is sitting at his desk, twiddling his paws. Mokona2: Soon. Soon I shall have the universe of kawaiidom all to myself. The day I have long waited for.... There is a beeping from a small panel on his desk. He leans forward and presses a button on the panel, turning to the screen behind him. Mokona2: What is it, my Lady? The silhouette of a long-haired woman with a bow in her hair appears on the screen. There is a dark look in her glimmering eyes. Dark Lady: Our operatives have entered the Offices of Hades. All is going well. The Mokona clone leans back and laughs Evil Laugh Mark III (with safety catch on). Dark Lady: You should be careful with those evil laughs. They can be injurious to your health. Mokona2: Oops, forgot. ^_^;; Dark Lady: You really should share them around whilst attempting them. Here, let me show you.... You do the evil laugh at the same time as I do. Mokona2: Okay. Dark Lady: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mokona2: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dark Lady: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mokona2: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dark Lady: There. See how much easier that was? Mokona2: Amazing.... I didn't even feel the sudden need to start hacking and coughing like I normally do. Dark Lady: Something I had to learn years ago. I used to do the silly bimbo chuckle, so it was really hard. And in that deep, broad, educated English accent of yours, it sounds so good to work with. Who did they get to play you? Peter Wyngarde? Mokona2: Well, yes.... But they had to give him a Fnord in his contract. Dark Lady: A Fnord? Mokona2: Yes, a Fnord. Dark Lady: What is a Fnord? Mokona2: Have you heard the joke about the Christmas Squid? Dark Lady: No. Mokona2: Well there you go. Dark Lady: ..... Mokona2: I feel like another evil laugh. Care to join me? Dark Lady: Why not. Mokona2: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dark Lady: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mokona2: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dark Lady: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! END OF PART 31 -------------------------------------------------------------------- ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- What is a Fnord? What is the joke about the Christmas Squid? Will Kei and Yuri ever be served at the front desk? Is ChuChu responsible for the problems in Hades' records? Is he part of the dark conspiracy to take over this fanfic? Will Shishio survive his battle with Mokona? And where the HELL are Ami and Makoto? I know I left them around here, somewhere.... All this and less in the next intellectually challenged chapter of "The Fanfic Formerly Known As...." The Monochrome Wonder of the Minute. In that order, even. _________ / @ \ Aino Minako (in DDFA's absence) / / ^ ^ \ \ darkdayforanime@hotmail.com /\ Manic-Depressive Sailorsenshi without a clue \/ \/ Professional failure in quotations \___________/ Massive avoider of responsibility /_/ \_\ PU! TROGGLE 1.0 - Monday, 17th May 1999