Title: The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... Part 34 Author: Dark Day For Anime (Mark A Page) Email: darkdayforanime@hotmail.com ICQ: 9845111 IRC: DDFA on DALnet & Austnet #AJAS's Fic Rating: Something to do with Rei and the Grassy Knoll. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... by DaRk DaY fOr AnImE Part Thirtyfour - The Rock -------------------------------------------------------------------- ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene: The wall in Tokyo. (Readership goes into raptuous applause. Well, it HAS been a while). Haruka and Michiru are wearing swimsuits, lying back on deckchairs and generally sunning themselves in an altogether classy fashion as would befit a couple of characters as these. Next to them is a marquee, where servants are preparing that evening's feast. Michiru: ..... Haruka: ..... Michiru: Haruka, dear. Haruka: What is it, my love? Michiru: Can you move the sun a bit to the left. It's gleaming off that building over there in an irritating manner. Haruka snaps her fingers. One of the servants shuffles over to her side. Servant: Yes, ma'am? Haruka: Can you move the sun to the left? It is disturbing Lady Michiru's contemplations. Servant: Yes, ma'am. The servant shuffles away. Michiru: ..... Haruka: ..... Michiru: LADY Michiru? Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: What would you prefer to be called? Michiru: Call me Queen. Haruka: Shh.... Not in public. Michiru: Why forever not? Haruka: Because we only do things like that in hentai fics. Michiru: Oh yes, I forgot. Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: What are we here for, again? Michiru: We're waiting for Setsuna. Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: I thought she was away, psychoanalysing DDFA. Michiru: Only in her spare time. Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: She can CREATE her own spare time. What the hell are we still waiting for her, for? Michiru: Because it's our job. In this fic, anyway. Haruka: Oh. Yes. Right. Forgot. Michiru: Well, you could always stop Tokyo burning down. I mean, the fire from that plane crash has been spreading through the city at an alarming rate. Haruka: Oh.... Is that what that was? I thought someone was having a bonfire. Michiru: ..... Haruka: ..... Michiru: We could have saved on the gas barbeque. That burning tower is just the trick for cooking prime steak. Michiru points over to a burning building. Haruka: Nah.... Would be better for marinated meats. Michiru: Hmm.... Might be good for smoking fish.... It's a slow burn. Haruka: Well, the fire department keeps spraying water on it. Michiru: Must be because of all the people inside, or something like that. Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: Shouldn't we be playing the hero role about now and save them all? Michiru: Honestly, Haruka! It's none of our concern. It's not a part of our master plan. Haruka: Hmm. Michiru: And besides, we're too cool to be going round, saving stupid people who wander into burning buildings. Haruka: But it wasn't burning at the time they wandered in. Michiru: Well, they should have taken it into consideration. The shadows start moving as the sun is shifted slightly to the left. Michiru: That's it. Hold it right there. The movement stops and Michiru puts on a pair of shades. Michiru: Now I can even out my tan. Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: I wonder what has happened to the other pair. Michiru: Hmm? Haruka: You know.... The pair we replaced. Michiru: Don't know. Not that we should concern ourselves with such lowly types. Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: ..... Michiru: Haruka.... Haruka: Yes dear? Michiru: Have you ever slept with the Princess? Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: Yes. Michiru: You WHAT? Haruka: Well.... I DID sleep with her mother. Michiru: ..... Haruka: Both of them, past and present. Michiru: ..... Haruka: And her teacher, too. Michiru: ..... Haruka: Well, all the teachers she'd had since I've known her. Michiru: ..... Haruka: Then there was that friend of hers.... Michiru: ..... Haruka: And the sister of Chiba-san's friend. Michiru: ..... Haruka: And that artist girl.... Michiru: ..... Haruka: And all three of the Starlights. Michiru: ..... Haruka: Sometimes all of them at once. Michiru: ..... Haruka: ..... Michiru: And you never invited me? Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: Well, what would you if I'd asked you? Michiru: I'd probably wash you out with a garden hose. Haruka: Precisely my point. Michiru: THEN I'd join you. Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: You can be so unpredictable, sometimes. Michiru: You wouldn't want me any other way. At that moment, a couple of girls with bare feet and wearing long white dresses, one with long blond hair and the other with slightly' darker hair and glasses, walk up to the pair of sunbathing senshi atop the wall. They pause when they reach them. Miranda: Ahem.... Haruka and Michiru sit up, staring at the pair, who appear a little put out. Michiru: Yes? Miranda: I don't mean to be presumptuous, or anything, but I'm afraid I have to ask you where we are. Marian: We're lost, in other words. Miranda: It is most embarassing. Haruka: ..... Michiru: ..... Haruka: Well.... Uhh.... You can say you're in the Jyuban District of Tokyo. Marian: Tokyo? Michiru: Yes, dears. Where did you think you were. Marian: Oh goodness.... How DID we ever end up in Tokyo? Miranda: Must have been that dimensional hole we stepped through. Marian: I told you that was a bad idea. Miranda: Don't look at me.... The old bat told us to. Marian: Oh yes, and you do everything she tells you to do, hmm? Miranda: Don't berate me. I'm an enigmatic figure of much obsession. Treat me with kid gloves. Marian: I should have gone back with Irma. I said at the time, we should have gone back with Irma. Miranda: Don't blame me that they finally published chapter 18... I was quite happy to stay missing, never to be found. The two girls wander off along the top of the wall, watched by the senshi. Michiru sighs. Michiru: The riff-raff we get around here, these days. Haruka: Hmm.... Michiru: What? Haruka: Were they historical figures, or entirely fictional? Michiru: ..... Haruka: ..... Michiru: I think you should stop smoking the whoopie weed, dear. END OF PART 34 -------------------------------------------------------------------- ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- Will Haruka and Michiru ever return to their rightful place as this fic's dominant characters? (They paid me to write that). Who the hell are the two girls on the top of the wall? Will Hanging Rock ever sue Peter Weir for vilification? Will geographical marvels ever band together to protect their image? Has Haruka slept with the entire female cast of Sailormoon? Will Peter Weir ever make a film of it? For almost no answers to these questions, see the next brain-damaged chapter of "The Fanfic Formerly Known As...." Vanishing without trace on a Mailing List or Archive near you. _________ / @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page) / / ^ ^ \ \ darkdayforanime@hotmail.com /\ "I saw his body thrashing round, I saw his \/ \/ pulse rate going down, I saw him in \___________/ convulsive throes, I said 'I'll have one of /_/ \_\ PU those'." (He'll Never Be An) Old Man River - TISM TROGGLE 1.0 - Friday, 18th June 1999