The view of sk8ing from a girl.

"pros and thier hoes

by: By Rachel 'Kat' Pearlman

I have seen something lately that really disturbs me. It is nothing new to the world of skateboarding, but it is starting to piss us other girls off. Let me set up an example for you.

Let's say you are walking around a competition. You're watching the riders, like any normal person would, and just kicking back. Sounds like a relaxing afternoon? Sure, until suddenly someone (actually some people - they seem to travel in packs) blocks your perfect view of the course. In the middle of a swearing fit you take a closer look at these specimens. You notice the shirt that was made to fit a five year old, knee high tights, plastic barettes, and a skirt that shows the poor girl's ass. Their "normal attire" for the event. They point and smirk as they pick out the next innocent male victim. Oh yes guys and gals, these people belong to the darker side of skating. They are the many, the laughed at, the "pro-hoes." (As if you didn't know by now).

Now what would a competition or even a trade show be without these sorry excuses for girls lurking around every corner, looking to conquer the next pro that walks by? Dont try to deny it, you know one too. You see them everywhere. Personally, it makes me want to vomit all over the place. They are evil and say evil things. Example: "Oh my god Suzi, guess what!? I saw John-Doe-Pro at the trade show yesterday. Oh he is so fine! I licked my lips, stuck out my chest as far as it would go, and he came up and started talking to me! To make a long story short, we fucked in his hotel room! Ha, and the rest of the team was right in the next room! I think he really likes me."

Now don't get me wrong, not all girls are like this. The rest of us normal girls have some pride. Some of us actually like skating. Some girls don't go to competitions just to try to hook-up with pros. I'm not saying that hooking-up is wrong, but unless you want to indirectly sleep with who-knows-how-many-other skaters, I'd watch my ass.

It's time for me to step off the soap box for now, but one last word to the pro-hoes. Hey, get a fucking life! The list of pros you have slept with is not impressing anyone. You're being used, they don't give a rats ass about you (or your feelings for that matter). Does it feel good? Are you proud of yourselves? Are you fucking cool now? And guys, here is some friendly advice for you too. Before you start playing Casanova on the next slutty girl you see, think about the fool who slept with her the night before. Do you want to be next on the long list of skaters the dirty slut has had? I guess the choice is yours.

Hoes and their Pros

Ok, I know what you all are saying. It takes two to tango, right? So of course I am going to be fair, and point the finger of blame in both directions. Putting the spotlight on pro-hoes exclusively will not completly put an end to this sleezy madness. As much as I hate to say this, guys are just as guilty as the cheap whores they decide to hook up with. Does anybody have pride anymore? (Don't answer that).

Since the begining of time, men and women have had their "fun" together. It is normal to have sexual feelings for the opposite sex. (Since this is the 90's, I guess I have to be politically correct and add that you can also have sexual feelings for the same sex...ewwwww). Some of you need to be neutered though, walking around worse than a cat in heat. Is sex the only thing on your feeble little minds? (Umm, don't answer that either).

Now I am not condoning sex, or hooking up for that matter. They are both great things, and are an essential part of life in the 90's. If you constantly avoid all contact, you need a serious frontal lobotomy. You men are really great, and we love you, but there are a few catches to that statement...

• A. YOU CHEAT!
  
  • 1. Pros. screw around so much when they are on tour. They are slimy, unfaithful, and to make it worse they think their girlfriends are totally clueless.
    
    • Duh!

  B. YOU SUCK!
  

  • 1. Contrary to popular belief, getting calls at 2:58 am from a piss drunk guy is not on David Letterman's Top Ten Best Things to Happen to You. Then asking us to get out of bed, and drive over to hang out at 3:10 am is reason enough to be shot at dawn.

  C. YOU MANIPULATE!
  

  • 1. I gotta hand it to ya, males can talk some girls into almost anything. You all will say anything to get what you want. After you get whatever it was you wanted, you say, "Buh-bye, have a nice life." Umm, hello, newsflash, we have feelings!

Both the pros, and the pro-hoes have been convicted now. The sentence you ask? It varies from case to case. They usually find it when they sober up in the morning. Is it worth it? Some of you guys seem to think that life without pro-hoes would be unthinkable. I have a challenge for you hopeless pimps. Try staying with one girl. Come on, I know you can do it! There are a lot of nice girls out there, just give it a chance. Can you even control your loins until you find one?? If you choose to sleep around, and keep walking all over the female population, you are nothing more than a huge pussing boil on the ass of skateboarding society.