|
Julie's Jokes: Religious, Philosophical, Musical
|
|
|
MUSICIAN JOKES
|
Q:How do you get two flutes to play in perfect unison?
>
A:Shoot one.
>
>
Q:How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?
>
A:Shoot both
>
>
Q:What does a blues singer's tombstone say?
>
A:Well, I didn't wake up this mornin',
>
>
Q:What is the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
>
A:You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
>
>
Q:What is the difference between a conductor and a stagecoach driver?
>
A:The stagecoach driver only has to look at four horses' asses!
>
>
Q:What is the definition of an optimist?
>
A:An accordion player with a pager.
>
>
Q:How do trumpet players greet each other?
>
A:Hi, I'm better than you.
>
>
Q:What's the difference between a dead trombonist lying in the road and a dead squirrel
lying in the road?
>
A:The squirrel may have been on his way to a recording session.
>
>
|
|
|
|
|
PHILOSOPY JOKES
|
Q:How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
>
A:Are you kidding?! Why would we let them do that?! The broken bulb is a national
treasure, pointing to our rich history and culture. No, we would rather build a shrine
there, and charge admission to see the 'ancient luminosity device'...hmmm, maybe we
could even see little figurines...
>
>
Q:How many modal logicians does it take to change a light bulb?
>
A:In WHICH world??
>
>
Q:How many fatalists does it take to change a light bulb?
>
A:None. Why fight it?
>
>
Q:How many marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?
>
A:None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
>
>
|
|
|
|
|
RELIGIOUS JOKES
|
WARNING:I don't mean to offend anyone with my humour...however if you are religious, you might be unhappy with my selections of jokes below. So if you are uncomfortable with any of my jokes, why don't you save me a lot of time of wading through hate mail and just skip the section. K? K.
Q:What do you get when you cross a Hell's Angel and a Jehovah's Witness?
>
A:Someone who knocks on your door on a Saturday morning and tells you to f*** off.
>
Q:Why are Unitarians such bad singers?
>A:They keep reading ahead to see if they agree with the words.
>>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
