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Laboricua's Page While She's Away


Wherever you may be...

and your feet may of taken you while away from your keyboard...

may you always take with you in your heart a piece of the smiles & chuckles you gave me...


___A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.
___The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?

___So the pharmacist tells his clerk "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes."Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the guy. About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store. "Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.

___The clerk replies "Your house."

___A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartenderpolitely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him?

___The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the SIDE door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and, still politely - but more firmly, refuses service to the man due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

___A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the BACK door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.

___The surprised drunk looks at the bartender, and in hopeless anguish, cries "MAAAN! How many bars do you work at

Romance

1. ___You are walking to your boy/girlfriend's house. There are two roads to get there. One is
a straight path to get you there quickly; but it is very plain and boring. The other is significantly
longer; but is full of wonderful sights and beautiful things. Which one do you take to get your
significant other's house, short or long?

2. ___On the way there, you see 2 rose bushes. One is full of red roses,the other full of white.
You decide to pick 20 roses for your boy/girlfriend, of any color combination. What ratio of
white and red do you pick? (you can pick all of one color or any combo of the two)

3. ___ You finally get to his/her house. A family member answers the door. You can have them
get your boy/girlfriend or go get them yourself. Which do you do?

4. ___ You go to your boy/girlfriend's room, but nobody is there. You decide to leave the roses
as a surprise. Do you leave them by the windowsill or on the bed?

5. ___ Night falls, and it's time for bed. You and your boy/girlfriend go to sleep in separate rooms
When you wake up in the morning, you enter his/her room to check on them...
Is he/she awake or asleep?

6. ___The visit is over and it's time to go back home. Do you take the short, plain road or the
longer, more interesting road?

Now The Answers Last...

1. ___The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. If you take the short road, you fall in
love quickly and easily. If you take the long road, you take your time and do not fall in love very easy.

2. ___ The number of red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of
white represents what you expect in return. For example, if you chose 18 red and 2 white, you give
90% and expect 10% in return.

3. ___ This question represents your attitude towards handling problems in a relationship. If you asked
the family member to get your significant other, then you tend to avoid problems and hope that they
will solve themselves. If you went to get him/her yourself, then you are a more direct person and like
to work out problems immediately.

4. ___The placement of the roses determines how much you like to see your boy/girlfriend. Placing
them on the bed means you like to see them a lot. Placing them on the windowsill means that you are
ok with not seeing them as much.

5. ___This shows your attitude towards your boy/girlfriend's personality. If you find them asleep, you
love your boy/girlfriend the way they are. If you find them awake, you expect them to change for you.

6. ___The road home tells how long you stay in love. If you chose the short road, you fall out of love
easily. If you chose the longer road, you stay in love for a long time.


_____Four expectant fathers were in Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were
in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, you're the father
of twins." "What a coincidence" the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota
Twins baseball team." The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You sir,
are the father of triplets." "Wow, That's really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work
for the 3M Corporation." My buddies at work will never let me live this one down. An hour later,
while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back, this time she turn to the
3rd man - who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to
quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply. "Don't tell me another coincidence?" asked the nurse.
After finally regaining his composure, he said "I don't believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."
After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the 4th guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the
floor. The nurse rushed to his side and after some time, he slowly gained back his consiousness.
When he was finally able to speak, you could hear him whispering repeatedly the same phrase over
and over again. "I should have never taken that job at 7-Up I should have never taken that job at
7-Up I should have never taken that job at 7-Up...

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