"Blourpe"
 I guess I'd have to say that was the noise it made when we hit the bottom. We fell straight down for about 10 seconds, but then there was a slight curve in the hole and we ended up heading to the right at a shallow and more shallow angle. Eventually we were coasting along on something like a huge water slide covered in sludge. The floor gave way and down we fell into a pool of ooze. My head went right under and, damn, was it ever gross. I tried to surface but it was impossible to manoeuver in the sludge. I was all turned around and I didn't even know which way was up! I started to panic, thrashing and squirming. Frederick's arms were wrapped around my waist from behind and I felt them tighten. Then I was being lifted. My head broke above the surface.  Frederick had pulled me up. I turned and wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could and tried to wipe the disgusting crud from my face. I could taste it on the tip of my lips and my eyes were stinging. The liquid level was up to my belly button.
 I pulled back to face Frederick and hugged him around the neck. "I swear, I would've died if you hadn't got me out."
 "All in the days work of an action hero."
 I laughed, and wrapped my legs around his waist. "We're gonna die here." I suddenly said.
 "Huh?" Frederick asked, as though he was insulted. "Might I remind you that we've been through everything? I was caught in a blueberry juicer, attacked by a disgusting mutant, then we we're in a crypt, ganged by a huge group of insane girls, you we're drugged and mutilated and we fell about 10 metres into a fountain! This is nothing."
 I groaned and let out a sigh. "I guess you're right." My eyes widened when they caught a bit of light and I noticed Alex floating by, looking somewhat bewildered. "Alex?" I asked.
 He turned at looked at me then used his arms to paddle over to us. It was then that I noticed his pants were unusually large. He saw me looking at them and offered,
 "The maps expanded while they were still in my pockets." I stifled a cry and then howled at the sight of him. "Hey Now! Shut up!" he said, defensively. "I couldn't help it."
 "But your pants!" I laughed. "Your pants are huge!" I felt a wave of giddiness wash over me which I hadn't experienced in a while and I let it all out. His pants were the size of a television set and he was floating in them! Just imagine it.
 "Just shut up!" he whined. Then, trying to change the subject, added, "Hey, where's Stephanie?" Then, as if on cue, she jumped up out of the goo right in the middle of us. I screamed and Frederick nearly dropped me.
 "Boo!" she screamed. Alex grabbed her from behind and pulled her up onto his pants.
 "Hey there," he said as he held her in his arms, "you know, this goo does wonders for your hair." Then he swept her down in an embrace and kissed her. They did that for quite some time and Alex started to float down the river of guck along with the slight current.
 "Hey, guys!" Frederick cried. "Get back here!"
 Then it struck me. "Do you suppose that maybe all this stuff leads to that door we saw a couple of weeks ago? The one that we weren't able to get through because the stairs were covered in slime and there was even more behind it? Maybe that's where all this stuff is going."
 "You could be right, we seem to be around the same place. Let's follow the current then." Frederick said. The two of us headed off after Stephanie and Alex as they floated ahead.