Chapter 8
Fred The Smurf

As the sounds from the machine died down more and more, I could make out a faint high-pitched noise. As the machine finally came to a stop, it was completely silent except for the shrieking whine that filled the room.
 "What the hell is that?" asked the guy. I just stared at him. I didn't know either, until the noise get quieter, and quieter, and finally ended with a gasp.
 "What the . . . Frederick?" I inquired. Calling into the section of the machine that the chute entered. I called again. "Frederick? Are you in there?" It could have been my imagination but I thought I heard some heavy breathing coming from inside.
 The guy came over and stood next to me. We listened. Nothing for a moment, then all of a sudden, I heard Frederick's voice.
 "Get me out of here! Oh, my god!" he gasped "Please!" Then that was followed by more breathing.
 "Frederick! You're alive! I'll get you out, no problem! Just hang on." Truthfully, I had no idea what I was gonna do. The chute was just about 6 feet above the ground, and there didn't seem to be any other way in the machine. "Um, can you get out yourself?"
 "It's too slippery in here. I can't get out, I'm on a conveyer belt and it's slanted."
 I turned and looked at the guy standing next to me. "Help me up, then I'll pull him out."
 "That won't work, you'll just slide in too!" he exclaimed.
 "Well, then what are we gonna do? We can't leave him in there!"
 "Wait here!" He left the room, and came back a few seconds later holding what appeared to be a bed sheet. He twisted it into a make-shift rope and told Frederick he would throw it up and Frederick could grab on and pull himself out. Frederick agreed so the guy threw the rope up but before it could enter the chute it snagged on a piece of metal sticking out of the chute and stuck there. He pulled on it and it slit in two and fell to the ground. "Argh! Cheap fools! Can't even afford to fix the machine or give me some decent bed sheets. Don't they appreciate what I do down here?"
 "Excuse me?" I asked. "You work here? Well good, cause do I have some questions for you!"
 "Yeah, and I've got a few for you, like who are you, how'd you get in here, and what's that idiot doing in that machine?"
 "I'm not answering anything until you give me an explin-"
 "Hey!" Frederick interrupted. "Can we please concentrate on getting me out of here first? You guys can fight later!"
 "Sorry Fred. Hey, what about this?" I asked, as I walked toward the switchboard. "What else can it do?"
 "Well," said the guy, "I can use it to control everything the machine does, like when it starts, when it stops, how many blueberries it processes at a time,"
 "You mean you can control the speed of the machines?" I broke him off.
 "Yeah, pretty much."
 "So you can slow them down?"
 "That's the speed aint it?"
 "How slow can they go?"
 "Pretty damn slow"
 "So slow, that they begin to go backwards?"
 "Hmm. Yeah, I think I can do that." he finished. He walked over to the switch board and typed in a whole bunch of coded commands. The machine started up and we could hear Frederick screaming again. I couldn't make it all out but it sounded like
 "Fan on...running away...belt turning...running...treadmill" Which at the time didn't make much sense. Then Frederick's head poked out of the machine and he threw himself over the edge. I moved away, but not quickly enough and he landed on top of me. The pain in my hip started up again and I growled and pushed him off me. I held on to the guy's pant leg and pulled myself up.
 "Ow!" I whispered under my breath. "You're gonna kill me!" I yelled, as I looked over at Frederick. But I'm gonna kill you first, you scared the @#$! outta me! I lost all my anger though when I saw him lying there, absolutely covered from head to toe in blueberry juice. I laughed and approached him "Are you alright?" I asked, as I knelt down beside him.
 He tried to appear macho. "Fine!" he wheezed as he sat up. "Just doing my daily exercises on the treadmill. You see, having a large fan that could chop me up into juice only inches behind me keeps me motivated." Then he lay back down again.
 I tried to feel sorry for him, after all, he could've died. But seeing him lying there, looking like a guy that totally lost in a game of paintball, I couldn't control myself. I burst out laughing. I lay down next to him, and put my arm over my eyes as they filled with tears. "You're blue from head to foot!" I howled. "You could pass for a blueberry yourself!" then I laughed so hard I couldn't speak. The guy who had been watching for the last few seconds joined in. First as a little chuckle, then he was laughing just as hard as me. We both looked at each other as we exchanged glances and laughed. Frederick didn't think it was so funny. He just sat there, glaring at us. Finally, we calmed down. My breathing slowed and so did his as we looked at each other. Then I made the mistake of looking back at Frederick again. I broke into another fit. Eventually we calmed down again and I turned to Frederick.
 "So Fred, I guess the pie got a little out of hand."
 "I was almost crushed and cut up into a juice, and you're making freaking jokes!" he yelled.
 "Oh Fred, I'm just trying to lighten up this whole situation. You know, I've only known you two days, but when I thought you were dead, I was about ready to jump in there too."