I know all the tricks of running a good campaign. In May of 1997, I ran a very good campaign for Student Government President. I lost. However, I have put together this useful list of tips that will, at the very least, give you a fighting chance. (Hey, I did come in second!) Recruit several loud friends to help you campaign. These will be known as your "campaign managers." Do not alienate your campaign managers. Befriend the underclassmen. Do not alienate the underclassmen. Make several eye-catching posters in your school colors. Decorate these accordingly. Refrain from beating up anyone who tells you that you can't win. It's bad for your public image. Mass-produce signs with clear messages, utilizing the full glory of color printers and eye-catching paper. Befriend current Student Government officers without sucking up. Have a personality. Do not have more than one. Hand out something unusual and/or edible. Make sure you have lots of time to set up your HQ. One full study hall should be enough if you bring your campaign managers along. Keep your HQ at least as interesting as your posters. Designate a song as your campaign anthem and play it at your HQ. (If I had been allowed to do this, maybe I would have won...) Don't listen to your parents' negative attitudes. Don't listen to anyone's negative attitudes. Befriend one opponent, just in case. Hire people to rip down your opponents' signs. Never rip them down yourself. Show that your campaign consists of a little more than, "Vote for me--I have snazzy computer graphics!" Make campaign promises that seem really huge but will actually be very easy to accomplish. Don't take it too seriously--but at least act like you care. Obtain teacher endorsements quietly. Don't make it too obvious/obnoxious--that just turns potential voters off. Wear eye-catching t-shirts and/or jewelry. Do not list all your shortcomings in your campaign speech. Keep your speech short and to the point. Whether or not you agree with someone's opinion, respect it. It worked for Voltaire. If you put photos on your posters, be sure they're of you and not off a kiddie-porn site. Do not tell people that you know how ineffective suspension is from experience. Vote for yourself. With small election turnout, it could make a huge difference. Make sure you've got something to look forward to after the election, just in case. List plausible reasons for people to vote for you. Smile and say hi to everyone! Befriend anyone who can possibly rig the election. Wait until after the campaign to chastize all those who were against you. If you lose, start and underground Student Government and revolt. (You may not be elected, but you might still become president...) Whether you win or lose, gather all your campaign managers the next day. Wear black and play the Imperial March on kazoos. Demanding a recount just makes you look like a sore loser.