SOME IRISH HUMOR

An aggravated wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so one night he took her along.

"What`ll ya have?" he asked.

"Oh, I don`t know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.

So the husband ordered a couple glasses of Irish Whiskey and threw his down in one go. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

"Yuck, it`s nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I don`t know how you can drink this stuff!"

"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I`m out enjoying myself every night!"

Two English ladies were discussing their vacation plans on a London street corner near an Irish lady.

"We're planning a lovely holiday in Devon this year," said one. "Oh you oughtn't to do that," said the other, "there are Irish there! It would be awful."

"Dear me!" said the first lady. "Well where are you going?" "Salisbury," she replied. "But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish!" the first objected.

At this point the Irish lady could no longer hold her tongue. "Why don't ye go t' Hades," she suggested. "There be no Irish there!"
 

The golf course was haunted by a malicious leprechaun who exploited the desperate ambitions of the poorer players. He slipped up beside one unfortunate man who was ploughing the fairway in a club competition.  "Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry,  I'll help you win."

"Done," shouted the young golfer with the desperate abandon of his breed.

When the golfer was in the clubhouse changing and receiving the congratulations of the members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker.

"Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?"

"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar.