And my weary
mind keeps going and going and going and going (could anyone take my damn
batteries off!!!)
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I don’t care about how bad you feel I don’t care about starvation in Ethiopia I don’t give a damn about a child's pneumonia I don’t give a fuck when you shed a tear I care less about your mind's infirmity I think I finally lost my silly humanity I laugh at your genocide on CNN I smile as blood is shed in Africa I wank on lifeless corpse ……Erotica I don’t mind watching bloody rape I don’t give a shit if I even die then I’ll chain you to my tomb so you wont escape |
I can't stand you anymore I barely did stand you before I can't stand myself next to you I can't stand making love all night through I can't bare hearing you talk I don’t want to hold hands when we walk I can't believe the lies I had to make Saying “I love you” did sound so fake I don’t care about how you feel I wont even give you my dick if you kneel So you did suicide when I first left Your tears never did bother me at all I pretended to worry ,but I never wept That wont keep me from dumping you again Suicide once more, but this time ,try a higher fall I must do it, just fuck off or I’ll turn insane Begging wont do, as I leave you behind I wont even look back as I kill you from the inside |
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Sadness, tears that bleed my agony Joyless, heart that shows my misery I can no longer pretend to be well I must find a way out of this hell Loneliness, empty cage of sorrow Hopeless, death will soon follow I must escape this life I'm trapped in I might stop this endless sin Emptiness, feelings of love left aside Pointless, men striped of pride I could find peace in a grave I should prey the divine to save Godless, hope awaits in vain Mindless, stare at me, going insane
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Staring at the moon froze my soul Its cold light shines on my cries Lost in her beauty are my dying eyes Scared in the night, upon her I call She's a trusty companion in my sorrow She shines in me when ever I'm hallow She's my solemn friend in my slow agony She's my love, my platonic mistress She'll light up my suicide and witness As I free the pain trapped inside of me
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I enjoy walking through heaven's tears Under the sky that sheds its rain for me My soul shines with its cold moonlight Clouds are here to share my silent agony The divine is trying to understand my fears My heart rusts on this wet night This journey's cold embraces my pain The silence of my life is killed by its thunder Falling stars that cover my life's screams The filth in my mind is washed away by rain So that your image could float away into the gutter Hopefully you’ll be washed away from my dreams Let the sky hide your cruelty with bloody shrouds Like the sun you’ll be hidden by dark clouds Until I find a way to kill your memories inside Or until my head bleeds my eyes blind
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I'm lost Where am I? Who are all those creatures staring ? I must try To find a way out Of this trap closing in on me No matter the cost They are getting closer I can sense them They smell the fear inside of me In this strange place I ‘m an easy prey Scary eyes penetrating my flesh Ambush Spider webs Death must be the name of this place I see a tomb with my name on it I can see my own blood drifting away They are here for me It's a suicide orgy I'm the guest of honor I must start running I must escape I feel so lost Stranger in a strange land A dying animal My hunt season opens tonight I must escape this place I call mind I must escape those creatures living inside me
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In the somber of the night I lay my rusted soul to rest Trying to escape your sight The cold of my heart burns my chest In the dark of my life I lay my weary mind to sleep The desert of my heart is filled with strife My eyes are dead though I weep Nothing could bring peace in my inner worlds Nothing could kill my pain Not even god's unholy rain As I sleep, my dead memory unfolds Your nightmares are here to tuck me in Your screaming silence, my cruel lullabies The holy book I read is made of your lies Masturbating on your photos, my only sin
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All those pills I hold Countdown to salvation Painkillers I was sold Birth of my extinction One by one I swallow Bits by bits I vanish As I turn into a shadow Water flushes my anguish My tears begin to dry Ten more pills or so My pain is first to die One last pill to go…
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The time has come ,the end is near I must begun, dry out your last tear Starting to walk on this crooked road Footsteps that lead me to salvation Getting rid of life's choking load Trees bending over my lonely procession Angels bleeding ,holy rain of mercy Birds silently chanting one last good-bye Flowers tearing petals in pure agony Moon's turning red in a friendly cry Leaving it all behind, I am free Sadness, pain, misery, I no longer see Digging my own tomb, I remember The tears I've shed on my heart's somber My final day on a hostile earth, I smile Lying in my self-made grave ,as I die |
My mind is a war field A fierce battle, its end is near Feelings are lunched against your cruelty They were on sold in cheap supermarkets Dead meat, brainless soldiers My heart's bleeding its agony Innocent victims, moving targets Death camps, forgotten prisoners Gas chambers, final solution and zyclon B All your death weapons aimed at me I surrendered my life to your indifference I raised a useless white flag of decadence As a token, I was tortured on and on You didn't rest until my light was gone |
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Life fills my heart with sadness The colour of its dying flame The night of its eternal darkness Whispers into my heart the pain A reminder of the purpose of existence A curse from birth ‘til the grave A quest that destroys all resistance The hunted souls ,no god can save Staring at the way out, I fear The call of mercy I wouldn't hear Salvation runs through a poisoned path The harbour of eternal peace is fake The road to happiness is fading fast Eden is destroyed in hell's sake The love birds committed suicide last night Heaven collapses under our feet Joy fades away from my weeping sight The taste of death is a bitter sweet Die by faith's rusted sword The weight of shattered stories The space left by forgotten memories Agonising slowly, no final words |
All my rain is for you Dream, love and blood All my pain is for you Devils on their clouds Listen to me cries The moon is dying Witness my heart burns Angels on their stars The holy light is on for you Singing with me for you I should have proved more I’d come back from the dead for you Wantons in their churches Praying with me to you Heaven is wasted, if not with you Life is cruel, hopes are vain Inner shelters to hide in are lost It’s you, that all I see Turning it again just for you It’s not like the last time Some god created you for me |
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Dead angel killing me Sad moon for whom I bleed Lost life, a final sign I need Dark soul, left apart and lonely Wasted years without you Tasteless are the smiles Vain hopes living through Endless are their lies Moonless life, pain and misery Suicided end, the search for glory Fading rose don’t just leave Crying beauty I beg you to stay For you I’d kneel and pray In your holiness I only believe For everything I did, no forgiveness For everything I said, I plead my guilt I paid back cheap your true sweetness Left you to drown in all the tears I spilt |
Walls are collapsing in my head Hopes of better life died today I guess it’s time to move away Alone, I count the tears I’ve shed Somehow I knew it wasn’t meant to be Somewhere in time, love lost track of me You said you could, I knew you weren’t free You said you would, I was right not to believe All was written many lives ago Pain staring back, tales of misery Fading fast, the time is short so leave I heard it snap, broken bound, a cruel “no” Follow the tears that lead to my grave Don’t look back, nothing left to see Don’t pray, still nothing there to save Better of dead, terminating a life called sorry |
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And I woke up yesterday hoping My nightmare would be over And I got up today yearning Your presence I’ll encounter My tears were still hunting my eyes I didn’t feel your shadows around Left me alone with my dying cries Silence killed the joy I once found Stay, don’t walk away on my misery All my darkness in the morning light I need you to assist my final agony Leave me another day, hold me tight All my sadness, sleepless memories Faked smiles, vain victories Don’t walk on me now, I still bleed I’m sorry but I had to call your name Written with blood, will you read ? Take my shaking hand ,it’s time Life without you, death all the same Kill me, euthanasia isn’t a crime |
Better off alone Shelter made of stone Choices are made Feelings to trade Stories untold Secrets unfold The devil and me Death is to free You and a flower Love fading by the hour Me and my fears Raindrops of tears Portraits of you Memories for true Seeking joy My heart made a toy Your sweetness in my mind Loss of you, going blind Friendship as a solution Agony of a bitter evolution Love on-line A digital sunshine You and my misery Hurting you and my sorry |
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You are my last and best reason for living And now as you fade away I ask myself Why go one ? Why carry one? Nothing left for me in this world Nowhere is home See me wave good-bye Hear my dying farewell Maybe in a future life Maybe in another dimension But not on this earth Not with this destiny Listen to them laughing Let them spit, I don’t care I’m giving up So why bother? I surrender my hopes, dreams and laughter I took my last knock out I wont rise again, let them count till 10 I can’t stand up I’m dead inside I can’t run away Dead man stopped walking I can’t fly away Wings of papers were torn by my tears I’ll just crawl back to my grave And bury myself with filth |
I hate myself for lying I hate myself for pretending But I have to I really have to I'm not bad I'm forced to I'm not evil Life is unfair with me Take my burden from my chest Take my load on your week back I'm sorry I have to pretend Pretend I love you Pretend I want you I need you to take my pain away Could you replace "her"? I'm sorry I'm sorry I hope I wont hurt you When finally the fake will fade away Then you’ll realize you re not the one Cause there were no one else but her I had to use you , why did you love me? I had to fake love I had to create the illusion That I were the right one for you That I were your dreams come true Don’t judge me as your pain flows Don’t curse me as your tears drown your soul I had to do it I had to be a bastard for a change I'm not bad I'm not mean Each time you say the love words to me Each time you praise these moments Were you lived in happiness with me I get hurt |
Is it a therapy? well if yes it
sure is a none effective one :'(