This new poetry section is dedicated to the girl who hurt me the most... I never did open myself to anyone like that before, and I did to her, I thought she was true, a true friend... she kept on saying how much she cared for me... but as i found out I was nothing to her... just someone to fool with. I never felt that down, that betrayed and hurt ...thanks to her now I know the feeling... so thank you ...and yeah FUCK YOU
 
 

Betrayed Betrayed by crocodile tears Betrayed by your lying eyes Mislead  by made up fears Mislead by faked cries Trapped in your poisoned shrine Unchained to your crooked mind My only sin was to believe in you My only fault was to think you're true My tears are flowing for me to repent The crime of love, for you I once felt All is fake, you're unreal All is fake, heart made of steel Tales you made up for me to feel “I care for you” you said, so was the deal Virtual hugs until we meet Midnight walks on our digital street Dead promises just to amuse Made up feelings, just to abuse I fell heart first into your trap I didn't hear your evil scheme snap Sadistic act of pure hatred Laugh now, nothing is sacred Beware, revenge will turn to be mine I’ll get even… no warning sign

Poisoned moon My heart is bleeding your hate The sky, on me, rains its poison Your lies vampirised my fate Your soul darkened my horizon thy name is a curse held on me Staring at you, only evil I see Calling my name, I feel betrayed Reminiscence of a forgotten agony Backfire of a buried inside misery Your crooked stories begged, so I stayed For you I was just a fucking toy Something to hurt for a cruel fun Endless pain made your joy Count the tears, you have won Witness as all my love for you dies Stare as I shut my crying eyes All was so untrue… bloody snake All your words were hallowed and fake Sharing your life… wasted time Helping you breath… what a crime “Made the same” or so I thought Your empty tales, I so bought I couldn't guess, all was just acting I didn't see, all that time, you were  playing Didn't smell the stink of your smile Didn't taste the bitterness of your lie Your filthy heart killed my soul Your cold rays lit me as I fall Look at me as I fly away See me as I end this ugly day

 

Secret garden Freed from your filthy soul I stand alone in my secret garden No longer polluted by your burden You cant brake my mind's wall As I destroy your image inside of me Hatred is the solemn feeling left for the Witness me kill the heart you once theft And destroy the pieces of love you once left Tears of agony, hell fire I spit on you Cries of pain,  fist of anger, destroying the untrue Your crooked mind I no longer need This crown of shit, it grows from your seed Take it from me, wear it, start to bleed Your poisoned heart I will not feed Worthless whore, I once did cherish Waiting for me to end it all and perish Think again, I will overcome my pain Dream on, I will reborn sheltered and sane

Chemical Living in a cheerful chemical world The only way to ease off the pain Legal drugs, to vampirise my mind, I was sold Creating a merciful fog in my brain “One more medicated peaceful moment” To forget, for a while my mental torment “Dexorat”, the slow death of my soul The happy pills, fake shelter, inner wall Sorrow, tears, you and my depression Abused like candy, last effort solution Nauseating side effects, always near the sink Loss of appetite, loss of hope, loss of life Getting sleepy, can't focus, can't think And the shadows smile , the end of my strife Human waste, danger of addiction Disconnected from reality, short benediction Peace of mind, magic rain, cottony fall Always bedtime, feeling weak as never One pill, ten pills, will I take them all ? Kill your image for a while or kill me for ever

 

Trust All the trust I've put in you All the faith, hopes, dreams too All those tears, feelings I've shown All my love you've took and thrown Deception,  sadness is all I feel How could you've done that to me? You betrayed me, how could it be? I can't believe all this is real I can't believe you were just fake How could I've put my trust in a snake I've opened my heart for you to care And you did pretend to feel my pain All was just a lie… life's unfair Answer “why”, I'm going insane Among  all your lies, why did I see hope? Didn't see your embrace turns into a rope For me to hang my love and see it dies All was true to my blinded eyes You sold me to your devil so cheap I must escape your poisoned memory Better of dead, peace within eternal sleep The only way out of your surprising cruelty

Nothing As my world goes down Lies a crooked smile in your eyes Totally made up pain Poison flowing from your cries Starting to drown Tortured path, death lane Drags me down like gravity Footsteps into insanity Damaged soul, a wreck And I feel your stain on my neck And I feel this storm raging Inside your soul, a snake Your tears, borrowed painting A dive unto your hate lake The walls closing down on me Choking inside my memory I should have died then I could have cried then I don’t mind, hell silence will brake My faith begins to fade  Your voice calls me, leaves me Consoling me, killing me My stupid heart made me open up again I am too lost, running under the rain  Fade away, I still feel you Run away, I still need you You're hunting my reality Soon I’ll hunt your sanity

Now this next text is more of a song lyrics (kind of a Life Of Agony's "Trough the through" song rip off... I do that a lot with songs I can't figure the lyrics out, or with songs that "talk" to me , and it's the same song on both sides of the following "table", I just divided it into 2 column for aesthetic reasons
 
 

Some Some day you’ll see Some day I’ll be Unwanting of your misery Some day they'll see Some day will be Morning with divine's mercy But for now I’ll stick to your sorrow But for now I’ll drink your bitter tears Though a near by tomorrow I’ll free my soul from your cold fears But for now I’ll await your  call But for now I’ll let you decide my fall Though a near by day I’ll burn this suicidal play Some day you’ll see Some day I’ll be Unwanting of your agony Some day they'll see Some day will be Morning of a joyful prophecy But for now I’ll stick to this cruel world

Day But for now I’ll hope, feelings untold Though a near by future I’ll end your cruel torture But for now I’ll follow my heart But for now I’ll wait for you to start Though a near by life I’ll silence all this strife Some day you’ll see Some day I’ll be Unwanting of your endless nightmares Some day they'll see Some day will be I’ll find someone who really cares But for now I’ll pretend But for now I’ll dream of a happy end Though a near by fantasy I’ll cherish godless eternity But for now I’ll write my last chapter And just now I’ll die faster Though near my suicide I’ll make death my solemn bride

 

Lies Don’t say you're my friend, I'm not a fool Don’t say “let's talk”, find another tool Leaving this world, I have nothing to loose A one way ticket on a death cruse Don’t look at me, your eyes are hard and cold Don’t talk again, I've seen the eyes of hell A war inside me, the fake mask just fell I'm freed, your web of lies wont hold Your tears wont trap me any longer All that pain and agony just made me stronger I'm deaf to your lies, I'm blind to your tears One year or so of abusing my fears I have seen your world as it is I have seen my life as it is I lost you, you're someone  else I hate you, I loved someone else Look at those tears now Can you feel my agony now? I don’t mind, I don’t mind, I don’t mind I am too down to be ashamed For all the promises I did not find The dark of your soul betrayed

Why  How to explain the blood you see How to explain the life I left Suicide of salvation, mind is set By this act my soul is free All this sorrow, secrets I kept All this agony, days I wept Am I a coward to have died? Just count the years I cried I had to go, a knife  as a good-bye I had to run away, bloody wings to fly Couldn't stand my pain any more I did try, nothing would heal my sore Keep on going, what's the use? One more fight just to loose? Blood drifting away, my fears begin to fade Blessed by death, bedtime now,  sacred blade Last breath on earth Awaited embrace of dirt Killing me, healing me Destroying me, saving me Shameful act? who cares…

 

Don’t save me I felt the time has come To choose a blade I could be missed by some If I bleed and fade It was something to be done End my journey and begun A final look at this world A last pray to a dead lord A bald move, I had to make A last decision for my own sake A cut to free my soul My death spreading on the wall A call to a friend on a fake excuse Wanting to be sure my cats would be well Last will to be read while I turn into sand Beneath all the lies I tried to tell Cursed life how, did he understand That I was stopping a life I refuse Called the cops, scared friends came Forced to be saved, when death was my aim Stitches were chained to my wrist To stop the bleeding on my fist Damned in life, denied grave's salvation Or is it death with a cursed reincarnation? Given pills, turning into a walking zombie Surrounded by friends, hate for their pity Now I’ll have to do it quick to die sane Don’t get me wrong, only life is to blame

A search I looked inside my pain, eternal I asked my freedom, wondering why You were lost forever Life forgot my smile Wandering in eternal agony Tell me how to live When I'm trying to look for you Inside my brain You are in my dreams I saved a holy place for you I'm scared to wake up alone Soul starving for your beauty Searching for you, I'm lost Show me reality, I miss you You are my dreams, myself left aside I die Sometime, I wish we were still yesterday Fly together inside of you I want you to be scared to wake up Without me I found  Eternal pain By my own

 

Walk Nothing more to say Just walk away And remember you lied No matter how hard you tried All the blame is on you Your feelings were untrue Your tongue filled with poison A black soul darkening my horizon Nothing more to do Tails of pain I'm going through Nothing more to tell Cheap tears to sell Go on with your cruel scheme My heart as the crime scene Your love kills So does taking twenty pills Your love wants to hurt A bitter taste of dirt It's within your nature Love rhyming with torture Cry out my agony Laugh, it must be funny A paper made up god A mind filled with a toxic fog All is evil in your soul Like a snake starting to  crawl Leave me by myself and alone Misery that turns me into stone With out you I die Without you I cry But I'm better off with your lies Don’t look back, fake good-byes

Alone Here I am, alone Staring inside my mind No light to see, am I blind? Here I stand on my own Listening to my dead heart It stopped chanting your name Blank mind, white walls, all the same Your image is lost, final act I don’t complain Going insane No one to blame A dying flame I don’t even whine As you Kill my sunshine I don’t even ask “why” When you laugh as I die Sleepless nights Hopeless fights Since we’re not together Lost inside me as never Nothing more to say Nothing else to do Destiny is written  My hopes are broken Many stories left untold Leaving with a true smile Happiness won, for a short while Good-bye cruel world

 

Blind Love is blind Doesn't feel me passing by No matter how hard I try A knife thrown from behind Only darkness I see Death embraces me My solemn friend Bleeding pain  Merciful rain  Last kiss send A dying man's granted wish A smooth and fast finish Love is cruel and mean  Ignoring me since birth Joy is yet to be seen Lonely in a over crowded earth A heart and mind crises My twin soul is nameless My soul is empty Your warmth is all I yearned for  Not your cheap pity Only death would heal my soar

Xanax Sad memories from the past Fading away at last Xanax to smile for a bit Some pills to forget Some more to quit Life is a one lost bet Feelings dying on me Shapes of hate is all I see I free myself tonight No more shadows to fight Why does sadness rain on me A token called misery Fly away forever Die alone again Happiness as never As I bleed out my pain

 

Sad Sad memories from the past Fading away at last Xanax to smile for a bit Some pills to forget Some more to quit Life is a one lost bet Feelings dying on me Shapes of hate is all I see I free myself tonight No more shadows to fight Why does sadness rain on me A token called misery Fly away forever Die alone again Happiness as never As I bleed out my pain

Alone Here I am, alone Staring inside my mind No light to see, am I blind? Here I stand on my own Listening to my dead heart It stopped chanting your name Blank mind, white walls, all the same Your image is lost, final act I don’t complain Going insane No one to blame A dying flame I don’t even whine As you Kill my sunshine I don’t even ask “why” When you laugh as I die Sleepless nights Hopeless fights Since we’re not together Lost inside me as never Nothing more to say Nothing else to do Destiny is written  My hopes are broken Many stories left untold Leaving with a true smile Happiness won, for a short while Good-bye cruel world

Nothing hurts more than when the one you love and trust betrays you, and treats you like shit ...hope she's having a blast while reading this   :"'(
there will be more poetry...... it's my only therapy (there's another one of course, but it's too radical ... at least for now)
You may ask yourself why doesn't the poem "why" have a verse that rhymes with the last one...... the answer is : WHO CARES ??   :P