The All-Americans
By
Joshua Trujillo

Part 7 - Woman Problems

So here it was. One of the few days that Ranma had really been 
waiting for. Tryouts. The opening of the football season at Earnest 
High. It had been about two weeks since the fiasco at the 
fireworks. Ranma looked around the field at his competition. He 
snorted. These guys might be strong. They might be fast. None of 
them were Ranma Saotome, which was the one thing that Ranma 
had always going for him.

The offensive line looked nice and big. Perfect for his kind of 
running game. Really, the only one Ranma considered even a 
remote threat was Ryouga. He snorted again. Ranma had been to 
town numerous times since then, getting supplies, signing up for 
classes and such, but he'd failed to run into Ryouga. Ranma 
wondered if he was lucky enough to have scrapped him 
completely. He shook his head at the thought.

I shouldn't be malicious, he thought, Especially with Akane's 
boyfriend.

"Saotome!"

"Yes sir," Ranma spoke up.

The coach looked Ranma over and snorted. Ranma couldn't help 
but smirk. He usually got that reaction from sports people. The 
coach raised an eyebrow at him and pointed to the field.

"Let's see what you can do," he said, crossing his arms.

Ranma breathed in and took off. He hoped someone was clocking 
him. He'd hate to waste this on just an impression to a balding 
coach. Ranma skidded to a halt, turned and began his track back 
towards the coach.

Smiling, Ranma stopped a scant three feet in front of the hulking 
coach, who, oddly enough, reminded Ranma of his father. The 
coach unfolded his arms and Ranma saw that he was indeed timing 
him. The coach raised another eyebrow (or perhaps it was the 
same) at the time shown on the little watch.

"Wide receiver," he said bluntly.

"Uh, coach?" Ranma asked, "That's NOT a good idea."

"And why not?"

"Cause he can't catch worth di-"

"Hibiki!" The coach bellowed, "Where the Hell have you been?"

Ranma turned to the new person. Yep, it was Ryouga. His asinine 
little yellow and black bandana looked out of sorts against the 
white of the uniforms. Ranma felt his heart sink. He had hoped that 
his one, favorite bastion of private personal perfection could 
remain that way. He knew he was getting too lucky. Ranma shook 
his head and turned back to the coach.

"I can too catch," Ranma began, "Just...Not very well."

"So what position should you play Saotome?" the coach asked, 
rubbing his enormous brow ridge.

"Waterboy!" Ryouga shouted from across the field.

Ranma yelled and fired a bolt across the field at him, but Ryouga 
jumped and landed next to some of the cheerleaders practicing to 
the right of the field, which he then began talking to.

"Saotome!" the coach bellowed again, "No fighting on the field, 
dammit! And when you take it outside, no breaking bones. We've 
got too many players on the DL anyway, we don't need any more."

"Yes coach," Ranma said as he straightened.

"Now, what position Saotome?"

"Running back," Ranma said, smiling again, "It's what I was at my 
old school."

The coach nodded and scribbled something down, then he began to 
shake his head.

"Where's Kuno?!" he shouted to the assistant coaches.

"Kuno?" Ranma asked, "He's a player?"

"Yeah, shocking ain't it?" Ryouga said from Ranma's right.

Pookie Bear? Ranma thought.

"I don't really know who I pity and detest more," Ryouga said, 
"You, or him. Kuno, the captain of the football team-"

"You forgot STAR of the team as well," said a voice from the 
other side of a large van that had pulled up, "As well as captain and 
star of the baseball team as well. His name...Is Tatewaki Kuno, and 
I have arrived."

Ranma watched as first he saw a pair of black and gold cowboy 
boots, then the black pants, and then the red shirt. And wrapped 
around it all was a billowing black trenchcoat. Kuno had a pair of 
gold rimmed sunglasses on and looked around before purposefully 
striding towards the coach.

"I've seen that somewhere before..." Ranma said to himself.

"Kuno! Shut yer face and get suited up!" the coach continued, 
"...Damned fruitcake..."

Kuno ignored the coach and stood in front of Ranma.

"And what are you?" he asked, trying to appraise Ranma.

"Your new running back," Ranma said.

Kuno took off his glasses and turned to the coach.

"I didn't approve of this..." Kuno thought before speaking again, 
"Person to be allowed on the team?"

"That because he doesn't have to ask you dickhead!" Ryouga 
shouted at him.

"I AM the captain of this pathetic team," Kuno said, ignoring 
Ryouga, "And I WILL be asked before-"

"Kuno?"

Kuno turned back to the person who addressed him. The person in 
the workout gear with the black pigtail. Who was this guy and just 
who did he think he was dealing with?

"Yes?" he said.

"Do you run this team?" Ranma asked.

"Well..." Kuno thought again, "Not during the game, though I AM-
"

"Then shut the Hell up!"

Kuno's face screwed up in rage as he took a swing at Ranma's 
head. Ranma flipped backwards and came up in a fighting stance. 
This Kuno was quick, but definitely-

There was a sting on Ranma's cheek. He touched it and wiped a 
thin line of blood that trickled down. Hmph, this guy is better than 
I thought. Ranma stole a glance at Ryouga. The ass was just 
standing there with a smug expression on his face, like Ranma 
didn't know what he was getting into or something. Kuno put his 
hands up so that they were straight with his arms and Ranma could 
almost see the chi flowing along the edges of his arms. Almost like 
living blades.

Ranma smiled. This was going to be really interesting. That was, 
until coach smacked Kuno on the back of the head with his 
clipboard. Kuno apologized and hurried off to get changed, but not 
before throwing Ranma another glance. Ryouga walked up to 
Ranma and patted him on the cheek. The injured cheek.

"You and I aren't the only ones to know how to use their energy," 
Ryouga said softly, "Kuno is more than you can handle. He won't 
mess with me because he knows I'll put him under. But I'm sure 
you're a good enough target."

Ranma grabbed Ryouga's hand and threw it aside.

"You're just pissed because I blew you across the lake," Ranma 
replied, "And Kuno is no match."

Ryouga raised an eyebrow in what Ranma thought was genuine 
surprise.

"You think so?" he asked, "Well, then how about a little arranged 
match between you two?"

"Yeah," Ranma snickered, "Nice chance for a double team, huh?"

Another surprised look passed over Ryouga's face.

"I hadn't thought about that," he said, "Yeah I guess it would. But 
no, Kuno wouldn't want my help. I would be there to pick up the 
pieces and beat the shit out of you after he was done. And if you 
win against him, then I beat you anyway. No down side for me."

Ranma thought for a minute, then nodded slowly.

"When and where?" Ranma asked.

***

Ranma yawned and stretched as he awoke the next day. A warm 
breeze blew in from the open window and he could hear the birds 
busily chirping out side. Ranma yawned again. He hated his big 
mouth. Today would be a beautiful day that he could spend doing 
anything he wanted with Nabiki. And he had to go and whack 
Kuno over the head and somehow keep himself from being taken 
out by Ryouga without fighting him. Something didn't feel right 
though...

Ranma wondered how many other 'friends' he would end up 
making before the end of the school year. Ranma lay in bed and 
stared at the rafters. He had to go to the bathroom. Ah Nature. 
Always reminding him just how human he was. Ranma made his 
way to the bathroom and closed the door.

***

Nabiki yawned and sat back in her chair. She had fallen asleep at 
her desk. How pitiful. And it was all because she'd fallen behind. 
And THAT was because of Ranma. A smile curled across her lips. 
Like that was something she really minded. She remembered 
briefly how he held her...How he kissed her...

A shiver ran through her and she smiled again. She yawned again 
and stood up to straighten her robe. Nabiki was shocked to full 
alertness as a female scream shattered the silent morning. It came 
from the upstairs bathroom.

Oh no, she thought, He didn't walk in on Akane again, did he?

Nabiki rushed out of her room and up the stairs. She stopped in the 
hallway when Akane peeked blearily out of her room. Well, if not 
Akane...?

Nodoka opened the door to her room and walked out.

"Nabiki, what's going on?"

Nabiki shrugged her shoulders and-

Oh, wait a minute...

"Mom?" she asked, "What day is it?"

Nodoka thought for a moment, then the same thought came to her 
as well.

Nabiki knocked on the bathroom door.

"Ranma?"

The door opened slowly and Ranma walked out. She was white 
from the fear that was etched across her face.

"Ranma?" Nodoka asked, "Is everything all right? I thought I heard 
a scream?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm a girl."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Well, yeah Ranma. We can see that," Akane said, "So?"

"I...Uh, I forgot," Ranma mumbled, stumbling dazed back upstairs.

"Mom, Akane," Nabiki said, "I'll talk to him."

"Her," Akane corrected.

"Go talk to my son," Nodoka said, "Find out what's wrong. 
Obviously something shocking, or else he wouldn't have 
screamed."

Nabiki nodded and followed Ranma back upstairs.

***

Nabiki sat down on the edge of the bed. She was...Well, 
flabbergasted. Which had too many letters for her comfort. It was, 
however, the only word to describe the situation that her boyfriend 
had gotten himself - herself - into. Was it even right to call Ranma 
her boyfriend if she's not really a boy?

"So you see, that's why I screamed," Ranma continued, safely 
tucked back into her bed, "I can't fight Kuno and Ryouga in his 
form. I lack some of the chi in this body, not to mention the fact 
that I'd die of embarrassment."

Nabiki smiled to herself. There were even some points that Ranma 
sounded like a girl in this form. She WAS cute...

"Maybe a disguise?" Nabiki suggested.

Ranma shook her head.

"Nah, like I said, in this body, I don't think I'd be able to beat 
Ryouga."

"I thought you weren't going to fight him?" Akane said from the 
entrance.

Nabiki and Ranma turned to her.

"I wasn't," she said bluntly, "I was going to defend myself and try 
to subdue him without hurting him. But I can't do that in this 
body."

"You could try seducing him," Nabiki said softly.

"Nabiki!" Akane and Ranma yelled.

"Okay, okay," Nabiki held up her hands in defense, "So what will 
you do then?"

"I've got an idea," Akane said brightly.

"What is it?" Ranma asked, not quite trusting that smile.

"Nabiki and I could go meet them at the lake where you were 
going to meet them and tell them that you want to reschedule the 
duel."

"Why should I go?"

"Hang on Nabiki," Ranma said, "Akane, first off, they'll think I'm a 
coward. Second off, I don't know if they'd do it ANYWAY."

"If Nabiki or I go by ourselves, they could say that Mom sent us in 
order to protect you," Akane stated, "Nabiki could provide 
verification."

Ranma thought about it. It would be a way to get them off his 
back, at least for a day.

"Or you could just show up like that and fight them until tomorrow 
comes, then they'd know," Akane pointed out.

Ranma nodded his head in defeat. He had no other options. Man, 
this sucks...

***

Nabiki crept around the tree and down the small embankment 
made by the crater. She smiled at the memory. The city officials 
tried to fill the hole in with dirt, but then actually did the 
calculations and found that it would cost too much. So they left it. 
There were several ladders leading out of the pit. It left the 
impression of a little arena, which is what they were going to use it 
for.

"Ryouga," Nabiki called out, "Kuno? Come on out, we have news 
of Ranma."

There was a silence as Akane joined her sister in the pit. A shadow 
passed over them and they turned to it. It was Kuno. He hopped 
into the hole and stood in front of Nabiki, his coat billowing out 
behind him.

"Yes, my sweet?" Kuno asked, "You have news of the cur that I 
was supposed to face?"

Nabiki closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Ranma's father has gotten sick or something," Akane said, trying 
to be sincere, "Ranma had to go back to see him. He should be 
back sometime tomorrow though."

"Is that true?" a voice asked from the rim of the pit.

It was Ryouga.

"Yeah," Nabiki said, regaining her composure, "Ranma is gone for 
now. He didn't want to embarrass you two too badly, so he decided 
that another day to prepare for him was what you two needed."

"PREPARE?!?" Kuno shouted.

"Did he now?" Ryouga asked.

"Nabiki," Akane cut it, "You know that these two are too much for 
Ranma to handle alone."

"Come off it Akane," Nabiki said, ignoring the looks from Kuno 
and Ryouga, "Ranma would shred these two. Just because 
Ryouga's your boyfriend-"

"Look, since he's to much of a coward to show-" Ryouga began.

"Yes," Kuno agreed, "He'll have to pay some other time."

It didn't seem that Akane or Nabiki had paid any attention.

"Akane," Nabiki wagged a finger at her, "Who beat Ryouga on the 
Fourth? Hmm?"

Nabiki could see the rising fumes from Akane. A look passed 
across Akane's face and her anger abruptly melted away. A 
dangerous smile crossed her face as she turned to Ryouga.

"Ryouga," she asked sweetly, "Have you eaten yet tonight?"

She took his hand in hers. Nabiki thought his head was going to 
explode from the sheer joy on his face. What was Akane doing? 
Was she nuts? Nabiki waved her hands as frantically as she could 
without drawing too much attention. Akane looked to her and 
stuck out her tongue. She then went back to cooing at Ryouga, who 
had totally lost it by now and was drooling like a complete nitwit.

Nabiki shook her head and looked to the other nitwit, who was still 
standing in front of her. Kuno tilted his head to one side, a move he 
picked up when he was infatuated with Kasumi all those years ago.

"Kuno?" Nabiki asked, "Is there something you want? I mean, 
other than Ranma?"

"I have not eaten tonight as well," Kuno said, a hopeful tone rising 
in his voice.

Nabiki snorted and nodded her head.

"Sure," she said with resignation, "Why not throw one more fish 
into the fire?"

"I really don't like fish."

"It was a figure of speech, Kuno."

"Oh."

***

Ranma ran through the motions of her kata. His kata. Damned 
pronouns. One thing she did like was that this body had way more 
flexibility. Ranma swung her leg in a vertical arc over her head as 
she finished the kata.

Whew, haven't done that set in a long time, she thought.

It struck her as odd that she realized, in that moment, that her 
thoughts came through as female as well.

"Maybe I'm getting used to it," Ranma said to herself.

"Getting used to being female?"

Ranma turned. Nodoka was standing in the doorway.

"Is being a girl all that bad?" she asked.

"Nah," Ranma said, toweling off, "It's just that I'm a guy and I'd 
like to stay that way all the time."

Nodoka hugged her son...daughter and smiled.

"Well," Nodoka said, "Come on down and have dinner. We have a 
couple of guests for dinner tonight."

"Really? Who?"

"They're friends of Akane's, I think," Nodoka stopped and sighed , 
"One of the boys is Kuno. Try to be nice to him, okay? I realize 
that you're dating Nabiki, but unless you want him to know about 
the curse, then keep it quiet, okay?"

Ranma frowned. Mom was right. Kuno had just better keep his 
hands off, or she'd have to dispense some VERY discriminate 
sisterly justice...

Ranma made her way down the stairs as she put on her tee shirt, 
and stopped cold at the bottom of the stairs. Akane was standing in 
the livingroom, talking with Ryouga. He turned to see who this 
new person was while an evil grin passed over Akane's face. 
Ranma was stunned, what was HE doing here? Kuno too? What 
were they thinking? Ranma decided that he'd have to get very 
pissed off about this later, for now, deal as a complete stranger.

"Uh, Ranko," Nodoka said, "Meet-"

"Ryouga," he interrupted, "Ryouga Hibiki."

Ryouga went to Ranma and smiled. Inwardly, Ranma sighed. She 
knew what that look meant. Ranma smiled sweetly back.

"Ranko Saotome," she replied.

"Saotome?" another male voice said from the entrance hall, "Are 
you any relation to Ranma Saotome?"

It was Kuno. He walked in from the kitchen area and his mouth 
dropped open.

He was stunned. He had never, in his entire life, seen anyone as 
radiantly beautiful as this woman. Her name was Ranko. She 
looked so familiar too. THERE! A sweet smile! Kuno felt like his 
heart was a little puddle down around his ankles. His legs felt like 
jelly, his mouth suddenly became dry.

He felt ill. He approached Ranko slowly, not taking his eyes from 
hers. The blue of her eyes swam in his heart like the pounding 
oceans on some far away shore. She stepped down from the stairs. 
Oh, how delicate. Kuno reached out and took her hand in his. He 
lowered his lips to the delicate skin.

***

Kuno felt consciousness return to him in little fragments. There 
was a throbbing between his eyes. He must have taken a bad step. 
He reached up to the bridge of his nose and winced. It felt like 
something hard had been jammed up his nose and turned sideways. 
Sound chose that time to come back into his life with painful 
clarity.

"You didn't have to break his nose?!" one female voice to his left 
said.

"He's lucky I didn't kill him!" another shouted from the right.

"Akane, I think I can understand how Ranko feels," a softer voice 
said from next to him. That one sounded like Nabiki.

"It's about time someone did that to him," a male voice said from 
somewhere off to his left.

That would be that cur Ryouga. Kuno decided that, as soon as this 
headache went away, he would teach that brute some manners. 
Kuno gently opened his eyes and took the rag from his face. He 
stared at the blood soaked rag in fascination. He was cut? Perhaps 
that was the reason his nose hurt. He had to have hit it on 
something.

"Kuno?" Nabiki asked.

"Wha habbended?" Kuno heard himself mumble.

"Ran-" Nabiki began, then stopped, then started again, "Ranko 
broke your nose."

"I didn't MEAN to..." Ranko shouted.

"Yeah you did!" Ryouga said.

Kuno waved it off.

"Id wad a love dap," he said dismissingly, "Dhink noding ob it."

He slowly sat up and Nabiki put the bag of ice back up to his face. 
He winced again as the pain surged back.

"Nabiki," another voice said from the entrance to the kitchen, 
"Why don't you go with Kuno to make sure that he gets to hospital 
all right?"

It was Saotome's mother. She was nice enough. A little protective 
in his opinion, but nice enough. Nabiki sighed and looked to 
Ranko, who just shrugged her wonderful shoulders. Pain lanced 
through his nose again and forced her out of his vision. He knew 
he would see her again, oh yes, he would. But for now, he would 
allow his lovely Nabiki to tend to his wounds.

***

Akane watched them go. She still couldn't believe that Ranma had 
broken Kuno's nose. But then, she had to admit that the idea to 
getting a kiss from Kuno gave her the willies too. Even if it was on 
her hand.

Ranma turned and sulked away, into the kitchen. Akane wondered 
at this. He just knocked Kuno out. Why wouldn't he be happy? He 
was going to try to beat him up anyway, what difference would it 
make when he did it? Ryouga noticed how Akane was watching 
the other girl. Akane shot him a smile and he blushed again. That 
made her smile on her own now. He was so cute when he zoned 
out like that.

Akane and Ryouga followed Ranma into the kitchen area to the 
small dining room on the other side. Akane liked it there. This used 
to be a sunroom, but Nodoka had it converted when the girls were 
young. Ranma took the seat at the end opposite Nodoka and 
Ryouga and Akane sat across from each other. Nodoka had taken 
the middle leaf out of the table in order to accommodate the 
smaller crowd. Nodoka silently wished they'd make up their minds, 
but then, she didn't count on Ranma breaking someone's nose 
either. She'd have to have a talk with her...Him...About that.

The dinner passed without incident, but then with Ranma 
shoveling the food in, there wasn't much room for speaking. 
Nodoka thought that Ryouga was unusually quiet. He would just 
glance up at Akane, blush fiercely and continue eating. Akane 
frowned occasionally at Ranma, but didn't say anything.

Kids today, Nodoka thought, are SO weird...

***

"Well all right, but I' going to bed now," Nodoka said, "Lock up 
when you come in. Nabiki has her own key."

Akane nodded and joined the two on the porch. Ryouga was seated 
on the swing and Ranma was perched on the railing. Hmph. 
Ranma didn't even seem nervous! This was starting to honk her off 
even more. It was almost like she was egging him on. Akane 
thought for a minute and decided. She smiled to herself and sat 
next to Ryouga on the swing.

Ryouga sat up and looked suddenly nervous at her proximity.

"So what were you two talking about?" Akane asked, shooting a 
nasty glance at Ranma.

"I was just telling Ryouga of some of my brother's adventures 
since he last met him," Ranma said from her perch.

"And I was reminding Ranko how much I've suffered because of 
her brother," Ryouga said, quietly.

Suffering?

"Why," Ranma said, pausing for effect, "Whatever do you mean?"

"Ran-" Akane paused, just as Nabiki had earlier, "Ranko! Shut up! 
You don't have any idea what Ryouga-"

"Akane!" Ryouga cut in, "It's okay. Ranko is just as irresponsible 
as her brother, but not half as ugly."

"Hey!" Ranma shouted, jumping to her feet on the railing, "You 
take that back you bitch!"

"Or what?" Ryouga said, confidently turning towards Ranma.

Ranma pulled his hands together beside him and a small white ball 
of chi began to form between his hands. The light shone brightly 
against the black of the midwestern night. Akane glanced up at 
Ranma and realized something...

"OR," Ranma said, "I'll make you swallow your words...Along 
with a few teeth."

Ryouga got to his feet and snorted derisively at Ranma.

"It'd be a short fight," he said.

"Ranko!" Akane shouted, pointing frantically to her wrist, "I 
thought you had said you weren't going to fight anyone."

"Akane, I-" Ranma said, the chi disappearing, "You're right. I'm 
sorry Akane."

"Wellthat'sokaybecauseI'mrealtiredandwe'vegottogetinnowbye 
Ryouga!" Akane said in one breath.

Akane grabbed Ranma and shoved him quickly inside and 
slammed the door shut behind her.

"Akane?" Ryouga asked, "What was that about?"

Akane just smiled and exhaled heavily.

***

Ranma picked herself up off the livingroom floor. What was that 
about? She didn't know about Akane sometimes. She seemed like 
such a flake, but then there were other times that she seemed like 
she wanted to be Ranma's friend and she even looked out for 
Ranma tonight.

Ranma didn't know. She walked up the first flight of stairs and 
casually glanced at the hallway mirror. Ranma stopped and stared. 
He put a hand up to his face, then to his hair. It was black again. 
His eyes flashed down to his chest. It was flat and firm. He was 
almost afraid to look...But...

...

Yep, they were back. Ranma glanced back downstairs as Akane 
came inside. She exhaled and leaned against the door. When she 
opened her eyes, she noticed Ranma watching her from the 
landing. A hush fell over the already quiet house.

"Thanks," Ranma said.

***