A Few Definitions

thinking for a few moments before speaking…….

What is BDSM? Well in the most literal sense it stands for bondage, discipline; Dominance, submission; and sado-masochism. But then again I don’t think you can be very literal, as it tends to come from a feeling inside you rather than someone else’s definitions. In some sense I agree with others that, BDSM needs to be broken down into those categories.
The BD meaning that there is some form of physical restraints being used, and a form of discipline, which in itself does not need to be physical, it can be mental. It depends upon how you look at it I believe.
The Ds part comes more into play when there is one person that is in not complete control, but in control nonetheless, and the other person is lacking that main control. This can be in the form of mental or physical yet again. It all depends upon the "players" that are using this form.
The SM part comes into focus when there is the exchange of pain. The Sado (sadism) is where one person achieves sexual arousal by causing pain upon another person. This does not mean they have to climax by giving pain but it is possible. The masochistic part is where one person achieves sexual arousal by receiving pain. There are different types of pain, that one has to take into consideration. There is the sexual pain, and that is the kind that you know will raise your arousal level. And then there is the punishment pain, that is the pain that you are not warmed up for, nor ready for.

But I think all in all it must be consensual, for it to be any of this, otherwise it would be abuse, of course that is my opinion.

What is bisexuality, heterosexuality, homosexuality, and pansexuality?

Bisexuality is where both sexes, are found attractive in a sexual sense by one’s self. Although there are different forms of bisexuality. There is the form of one person just needing release, and they can find that with either sex, or there is the person that is genuinely attracted to both sexes.

Heterosexuality, is where a person finds only the opposite sex attractive in a sexual manner.

Homosexuality, is where a person finds only the member of their sex, sexually appealing. Unfortunately many times this is not mentioned because many people are, not really afraid but worried about what others would think, being homosexual that is.

Pansexual, I think…..but I’m not quite sure, is where one person is turned on sexually by anything that moves…..be it man, woman, or animal life forms.

A fetish is where, a person derives sexual pleasure from usually inanimate objects, but can also be a part of the body, such as the foot, or the hand. This can encompass a wide variety of things. Such as women’s underwear, shoes, bras, wearing the opposite gender’s clothing. Though that is usually thought of men wearing women’s clothing. Or again it can be a part of the body, such as the foot, or the hand.

A Master, I think is one person that has complete and total control over you. The "life partner" that you share your BDSM with. Some people use the term Mistress to equate that with a woman in control, but others then again use Master for both men and women. In that regard it is just a preference.

A Top I think is just the person that tops you during a "play" scene, such as in a dungeon club. Usually I think this does not carry over into day to day life.

A Dom, Domme is the male or female, respectively, that has control over you, but not in a day to day sense. They are the ones that make the final decision, but one does not have to ask their permission for everything. They have more control than a Top, but not as much control as a Master/Mistress.

This part goes back to the difference between Master, Top and Dom/me. A slave, is the person in a Master/slave relationship. They relinquish all control to their Master, in a 24/7 relationship.

A bottom, is again in the "play" situation such as the dungeon. Again this usually does not carry over into day to day life.

A submissive, I believe goes along with the Dom/me situation. They relinquish more control than the bottom, yet not as much control as the slave. I feel I need to reiterate though that submissives, bottoms, and slaves are not mindless "creatures". Many times you have to learn to control yourself to give as much as you do, but I am getting off track…….so back on I go.

Safe, Sane, Consensual, is, number one; safe. Everything is done with precautions of some sort. The better the precautions the less worry one need have during a scene. Sane is being under total control of your body at the time. I don’t think, and this is my personal opinion, that anyone, should decide to scene, or actually scene under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Because with both, a person may think they can go on, when in fact they are dangerously close to endangering their lives. And Consensual, is with full consent, and understanding of what you are doing. If you know that someone is going to whip you, and you say it is ok, then that is consent. If someone just whips you, and you are only in a "play" situation, that needs to be discussed before hand. If you are in a Master/slave relationship then all the discussion and consent is given when the relationship begins.

A safeword, is the word that the sub/slave/bottom is given when they think they can take no more. I do agree with some that you can have two types of safewords, one for just slowing down, and one for stop. The only problem I see is remembering which is which, or being able to use it. If you are gagged then you obviously cannot use a safeword, but you could possibly snap you fingers or something else. This can be left up to preference.

A Switch, is a person that can be both Dominant and submissive in the relationship. This can go many ways, there are some that are almost fully Dominant yet want to "see how the other half lives", then there are those that are fully happy being both ways, and finally the submissive wanting to "see how the other half lives".

As for fetishes I would want to see, honestly I can’t think of any that I really have, but if I can think of any, then I shall let you know.

looking up to all the words…..wow I didn’t know I could say all that at once……..