-Control-
My eyes well up with the tears of the thoughts
of myself as a person, as my life deteriorates
into that pile I dread in thought, and in dream.
I felt the very depresseion touch me in my sleep
with a fit of nightmares ripping my soul apart
while myeyes are tightly shut, gripping reality.
I find myself awake eventually with sweat
dripping down the very forehead where my brain
creates the images of the murderous reality.
I laugh eventually at my blind stupidity.
Yet in my very wake that same day, the images
flash like memories I thought I forgot.
The hands, the smiles, the touch of the foreign matter
causing my arms to tremble as I stabilize my thoughts.
I forget my very breathing.
I forget my very living.
I find no comfort in my nearby chair.
I only found comfort in the corner of my room
where I'd cry like the child inside of me.
Self sacrifice in its very depth I seem to know
yet in my non-physical manifest,
I only know that my brain has taunted me forever.
I walk on throughout my day.
The wishes of true happiness scroll in my mind.
I pray to something, somebody, the faith unknown
I luagh loudly for no particular reason.
The fact that I control the very inside of me leads to insanity.
I have no control.

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