She tells me that she is pure in her thoughts
Her words are as burning as acid…
And I find myself too weak to let my true feelings show to her.
He brings me sorrow for the things he didn’t give me
Or the things I didn’t give him
We didn’t satisfy anybody, and in some solitaire way I’m dwelling in
it.
The one person who brought me joy
Could possibly be the one laughing behind my back
And yet I put my love in him despite the miles between us.
So many questions I find myself inquiring
With hardly any answers that could soothe the aching in my heart
If I could just calm myself to a point of tranquility, I could have
the peace desired.
But in my mocking shadow lies the point of my frailty
Where all that I’ve worked for laughs at my weakness
For they know that I have no protection.
I could probably run forever from it like a nightmare
Except it would be a heart wrenching reality
And the thought of me not making it through puts me into arrest.
Maybe the only acceptable answer for this query we call my life
Is to put myself into a coma of resistance
To avoid the troubles that have plagued me since the moment I realized
my abilities.
But putting an end to such a life of confusion and spontaneity
Brings me to an utter silence that I can never stand
How could I ever say goodbye to such a wonderful life?
And while I answer that question I live on forever
In my immortality, or just my normal “hurt and learn” theory
But I will prosper in this womanhood.
So I will walk this pathway of life
I will continue to question my existence and my real traumas
I will walk until God takes me off of the road.