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How Sadness Bleeds.

How do I know that you aren’t just a dream, a dream of my soul, when it’s starting to bleed,
Bleed from the sadness the sad lonely tears, the tears that I cry and have done for years,
I love many things but none like you, your my special care, and I care what you do,
I feel so young like you’ve set me so free, set me free from my sadness, as my tears let me be,
Maybe I’m happy and settled inside, if I am then it’s you and the way you reside,
Inside of my heart, and inside of my smiles, inside of my soul, everyday, all the while,
But when I begin, to think of the pain, the pain I once had then the pain starts again,
I think that this love, It may just be a might, and soon I’ll awake, in the dark without light,
I want us to be, so true and so real, but after you’ve gone, you won’t believe how I’ll feel,
I’ll feel really happy and so sad all at once, like I’m crying the tears that I hate so, so much,
Can’t you be real? please say that you’ll try, please, please don’t leave me side, please don’t leave my side,
All my feelings I have, every last little nerve, every sense of my life, maybe it’s what I deserve,
I know this is morbid, and somewhat inane, but, it’s strange what I’m writing, is this who I am,
I feel so unsure, of myself and my life, I’ve told you all this, like husband to wife,
You made me feel strong, and my sadness did bleed, I bled on your arm, then it rolled down your sleeve,
Down to your hand, and dropped to the floor, like ten thousand tonnes, and I still had some more,
More and more feelings just wrapped up inside, like tied in a knot, and believe me… I’ve tried,
I’ve tried to untie them, and find a loose end, but It seems to get worse, and my heart starts to bend,
Bend from the pain and bend from the thought, the thought of my memories, the ones that I brought,
Brought to your side, to your widest attention, you listened in love, through all of my tension,
Like a tree I had withered, like the wind I had passed, passed though my life, And never did I ask,
Ask all the questions, that by now I should know, know of my life, and where I should go,
But I don’t have a clue, and only you feel right, I think you have helped me, helped me see the light,
At the end of a tunnel, the tunnel of me, I can’t reach the end but the light I can see,
And slowly I’ll get there, and soon I’ll be sure, of myself and my life, so don’t close my door,
The door of my joy, and the happy you see, you open it daily, so please, don’t close it on me,
I love to be near you and love all that we do, I love all the poems and I love writing for you,
I take with me your scarf to help me think of you, not once will it leave me, if it did I’d be blue,
It makes me remember how you’ve made me feel, how I feel when I see you, you make me feel very real,
Make me feel like a person, like a boy who’s grown up, grown up to a man, from the thing that I was,
Around you I’m me, and not a strange variation, I am who you see, but you won’t see my frustration,
Of why I still think that you just don’t want me, because I’ve shown you myself, when you shouldn’t of seen,
I think of my act and why you don’t expect it, I guess that I think, that you’ve come to accept it,
But I still try to be the people I’m not, and it makes me so mad, and makes my blood feel hot,
So hot that it boils and I’m raging inside, in a rage of confusion, of me and my life,
I think that I’m there, well… nearly at least, your starting to bring me, from off of my knees,
Where I begged for forgiveness to please all the rest, I want them to be happy and didn’t care for myself,
I guess that I still want, all around me to be fine, but I too can laugh… and all at the same time,
Maybe I’m talking, of nothing but me… maybe that’s bad, who knows… sure not me,
I want to be happy, I know that right now, but I hope that you’ll laugh for me, when I feel I should bow,
Bow to the others who’ve hurt me inside, bow for their kindness, that they showed me sometimes,
Then leave not a cent, not an ounce of my mind to the memories I have of the times they weren’t kind,
I’ll try to forget, when I hurt and I cried, when I felt really sad, sad so deep down inside,
But those days near an end, and the books near it’s cover, I’ll leave the last page, for, I, me and us,
only need…. one another.

©1997 Insanity Inc. ©1997, black heart. H.Luck.

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A short disclaimer :
It has been known for people to take offense to my poetry...
And think i'm a twisted black individual... who is arrogant and distasteful...
This is not true (well, for the most part!) and if you do find anything i write offensive,
please, please don't write to me and tell me, or complain.
As a poet, i have poetic licence! :) ... i'll write what i want,
and if you don't like it... Don't read it!!! :)

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