Summer '97-

aka. "Amelia the working girl learns some lessons"

At Walter Reed Army Institute of Research:

• From hours upon hours upon hours of pipetting I have gained the ability to win thumb wrestling contests against anyone (with the possible exception of Mike Tyson, because he'd go for my ear).
• I have also learned that when I am confronted with a very large person in fatigues, asking me something, my instinctual response includes cowering and holding up my badge as a kind of primitive shield.
• That it is possible to take an ID picture of me that makes me look quite a bit like a true believer in the Roswell Incident while also making me look like I'm about to faint, as my eyes are rolling in my head.
• I can listen to twelve straight hours of country music for a whole week without going insane.... aside from the side effect of needing to bash my head against the sides of buses when some asinine song about the sad moon gets stuck in my head.
• If you want to get from my house to Walter Reed, the cheapest way is to take the 5 Ride-On ($1.10) and get a transfer (free) and give the transfer to the bus-driver of the S2 (happy) or the driver of the S4 (surly) Metro-Bus, pay the $0.65 for the MD/DC line change, and give them the transfer. Then, on the way home, take the S4 from the 16^th street bus shelter, pay $1.85 ($1.10 base fare + $0.65 zone change + $0.10 transfer) and get transfer. Give transfer to Ride-On bus-driver and get off at stop. YEAH!!!
• Another hint for riding the bus system: get the seat that is behind the sideways seat, but still near the front, so the driver can still see you, unless a smelly-type-person is occupying one of the seats, because their invisible friend, BO man is occupying the other one. Also, don't let the fact that your parents neglected to supply you with any appreciable mental disorder put you off from riding buses--go up and shake everybody's hand, and make nice with ALL the passengers-- they'll love you, I swear!
• Creative uses of the word "shit"-- from our enlisted specialist friends <grin>
• Science is pretty cool.
• The hidden meaning behind using up pipet tips randomly, versus up and down, versus sideways--ask me nice and I might even tell you.
• I am REALLY lucky to have gotten a mentor as sweet and nice and generally spiffy as Dr. Ashima Saxena. I hope her lucky star is always shining brightly.
• Mango pie is really good. . . especially when your boss makes it.
• Getting your paycheck from the same place that stores the largest hairball in the world and a bunch of deformed babies in bottles is supposedly a 'perk'

At the Garrett Park Pool: (ALSO Summer '97)

• That green hair is actually not as bad as you would think--you do get those bit parts as lagoon monsters to take up the time you would have spent dating.
• That I have the intestinal fortitude not to strangle some kid who has been playing Marco Polo for THREE hours!
• The uses of BP cuffs as theft deterrent devices. (Don't ask)
• Creative cursing techniques to use when someone puts a full, opened, bottle of Mountain Dew in the trash bag you are emptying--especially when the bag busts all over you.
• It is an acceptable form of on-the-job correction to fling you in the pool. And your clothes. And your book. And any pool chairs that happen to be in need of on the job correction.
• Don't be afraid to paste things on the refrigerator, especially if you put them in odd configurations so our straight-edge fiends (no naming names) can go "yeah, cool!" and draw 'X' on Pooh's hands, and our very very scary supervisors can get upset and throw chairs in the pool.
• Swimming during thunderstorms is o.k. so long as you are a trained professional who is bored and has been at the pool ALL DAY.
• Don't pick up sweet cute red-haired guys that flirt with you at work, no matter how tempting it is; outside of a heavily chlorinated environment they become Mr. Octopus man!
• Tom is a really really good Boss, probably one of the best I'll ever have. Him threatening to beat up Octopus Man for me was just so wonderful. I'll never forget how great Tom was, no matter how many community pools I end up working at.