The Accidental Buffet
The Accidental Buffet
A Tenchi fic by June "KaraOhki" Geraci
June 25, 2000
Tenchi doesn’t belong to me, but to Hiroki Hayashi, Masaki Kajishima, AIC and Pioneer. This fic was written to make you smile, not for commercial purposes.
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RyoOhki was one miserable little cabbit. She was lonely, she was hot, and she was hungry.
All of the female residents of the house were sunbathing on the lawn. The male residents were totally involved in admiring the assets of the ladies, with the exception of Tenchi. After listening to the girls argue for twenty minutes about who he was going to sit next to, he went back into the house and changed out of his swim trunks into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
"I’m going for a ride," he announced.
RyoOhki picked up her head. She had been lying in the shade, trying to decide what to do. Sunbathing was not exactly one of her favorite activities. She was very hungry, but had been unable to get that message through to Sasami, who was totally engrossed in the manga she was reading. Trying to communicate with any of the other girls would be a waste of effort, since now they were too busy blaming each other for the fact that Tenchi was leaving.
The fields were full of carrots. All she would have to do was run down and eat her fill, but the effort seemed too much in this unusual heat.
A ride in the back of Tenchi’s truck, with the breeze cooling her off, began to look very tempting. As Tenchi got into the cab, RyoOhki jumped into the back.
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The trip to town was a little bumpy, but the breeze was delightful. Within minutes the little cabbit had gone to sleep. When the sensation of movement stopped, she woke.
She looked around sleepily, and noted Tenchi walking into one of the shops. The door closed before RyoOhki could join him, and she stood on her hind legs to look in the window. The store was full of books. It simply wasn’t worth phasing through the wall to join Tenchi if there wasn’t anything good to eat in there.
The cabbit began to hop down the street. There were few people out and about in the heat, and no one seemed to notice her. She hopped onto something in front of a store that was not cement. It was black plastic, and was hot to her little paws. RyoOhki was about to jump back onto the sidewalk when the door to the store whooshed open, and she was greeted with a blast of delightfully cool air. The cool air brought with it the scent of something she was looking for.
Food.
The market wasn’t a very large one, having six aisles, and RyoOhki immediately began to explore. There was a strong scent of something vaguely familiar down the first aisle, and she hopped down it, sniffing at the boxes. This was definitely not food. It smelled like that funny stuff Mihoshi put into the washer that made it overflow.
The next aisle was much more promising. There were boxes and boxes of good-smelling things. There were also cans, but the cabbit didn’t have a clue what would be in them, so she concentrated on the boxes. She had just pulled a box of cookies off a shelf and begun to devour them when a noise behind her made her turn.
A little boy was staring at her. The toddler had wandered away from his mother, heading straight for the cookies. It was his favorite part of the store, but this time his attention was fixed on the cute brown animal sitting there, and not on the Oreos. His face broke into a huge grin and he ran towards her, holding out both arms.
RyoOhki panicked. The last time a small child had gotten near her she had been subjected to horrible torments. Abandoning the cookies, she jumped onto a shelf. The boy began to climb up after her, knocking boxes of cookies everywhere.
There was only one thing to do. RyoOhki phased through the shelf and into the next aisle. She could hear running footsteps, and the sound of the boy’s mother scolding him for making a mess.
It just wasn’t fair! Two cookies was not enough to satisfy her hunger. Besides that, Sasami always gave her a bowl of milk if she was eating cookies. Now she was not only hungry, but thirsty.
This new aisle looked very promising. There were rows of large bottles, with different-colored liquids in them. RyoOhki couldn’t read, but she knew the picture of an apple when she saw it. It had to mean something. She batted at the jar with her paws, but couldn’t get the lid off. Frustrated, she head-butted it, knocking it off the shelf.
The bottle fell to the floor, cracked, and began to leak apple juice.
"Miyah!" The happy cabbit sat down next to the puddle and lapped up the juice. Footsteps behind her startled her, and she dashed around the corner. If it was the little boy, she wanted nothing to do with him.
Rows of freezers took up the entire length of the next aisle. RyoOhki ignored them as her nose picked up the scent of something she loved, and she ran toward that scent, while overhead a voice came over the speaker system.
"Cleanup on aisle 4. Juice spill on aisle 4."
RyoOhki skidded around the corner, and stopped. She was in heaven.
Huge bins of fruit and vegetables were all around her. There was so much to look at that she felt slightly dizzy.
"Miyah!" The cabbit took a flying leap, and landed in the middle of the string beans. They were delightfully crisp and cold, and she ate about half of the display before moving on.
She next discovered the cherries. Juice dribbled down the cabbit’s chin as she gobbled them up. She would have eaten them all if the aroma of something she loved even more hadn’t distracted her.
Carrots. RyoOhki smelled carrots. Her nose led her directly to them. She dove in headfirst, burying herself in the display, and began to eat. The happier she got, the louder she purred.
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The clerk responsible for keeping the store clean was in a very bad mood. He had spent an hour taking apart the cooler where the milk was stored, because some of the cartons had arrived damaged and leaked milk everywhere. It was necessary to find and dispose of the damaged containers, and scrub every shelf.
This put him way behind in his schedule, and he was nearly finished sweeping all of the aisles when he discovered the spilled cookies. The announcement of the juice spill put him over the edge.
If one more person made a mess in his nice clean store, he was going to lose his temper.
He was heading toward the back of the store to put away his cleaning supplies when he noticed something odd. The produce manager had just finished stocking the bins, but most of the string beans were gone. On closer inspection, it looked as if some of the remaining ones had bite marks on them.
A glance at the bin of cherries showed mostly pits. The boy was used to customers tasting the cherries before buying them, but someone, or several someones, had systematically demolished their entire supply. The clerk’s face began to turn red as his blood pressure went up several notches.
It was then that he heard the noise. It was a loud rumbling. No, it was...purring? He followed the sound, which led him to the carrots, or rather, what was left of the carrots. His eyes widened as he realized that the culprit responsible for the disappearance of the string beans and cherries was not human.
An animal he’d ordinarily describe as cute sat in the middle of the carrot display, happily eating its fill; however, he was not about to think of it as cute. Not right now. As far as the clerk was concerned, this was a horrible beast who was making his day a living hell.
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Tenchi exited the bookstore and headed for his truck. His attention was grabbed by the sound of shouting, and he turned to see a clerk holding RyoOhki up in the air, and shouting at her.
"Get out! Get out, and don’t come back!"
Before Tenchi could react, the boy threw the cabbit as far as he could. RyoOhki landed on the sidewalk, rolled over a few times, and lay still.
Tenchi ran up to RyoOhki just as she struggled to a sitting position. She was swaying slightly, and looked rather dizzy.
"Miyah?"
"RyoOhki! Are you okay?"
"Miyah?" was the only reply he got. Tenchi picked the cabbit up and carried her to the truck. He was so worried about the cabbit’s condition that he didn’t notice that she was quite a bit heavier than usual.
He couldn’t help wondering why the clerk was so upset until he put the cabbit on the seat next to him. Her little tummy was so distended that she looked pregnant.
"Oh brother. How much DID you eat?"
"Miyah!" said the happy cabbit.