Cinders 4
Cinders
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by June "KaraOhki" Geraci
January 26, 2000
Ranma 1/2 and its universe was created by Rumiko Takahashi, and belongs to her. This work of fiction was written for entertainment only, and is not intended for commercial purposes.
Chapter 4
As far as Soun was concerned, the house was unnaturally quiet.
Quiet was not a word normally applied to his home. Ever since the Saotomes� arrival the house had been filled with noise and life.
With one exception. After Ranma�s departure for China, Akane had disappeared. They�d heard a commotion upstairs, and arrived to find her window broken, and the room filled with feathers.
After a fruitless search for her, there was nothing for him to do but wait. The silent vigil that he, Nodoka, Kasumi and Nabiki held lasted until the miraculous call from China to tell them that Akane was there, safe and alive.
Now the house was quiet and empty. Nabiki was in school, and Kasumi had gone to the hospital to see Akane and Ranma.
Akane and Ranma. It was so natural for Soun to think of them that way.
Nabiki and Ranma. He�d tried saying it aloud, and it just wasn�t right. Why had he been too weak to oppose it?
The more Soun thought about it, the angrier he became. How dare anyone call his little girl �damaged�?
Then he sagged. He�d seen how badly she was burned. People didn�t recover from those sort of injuries without permanent problems.
Soun put his face in his hands and wept.
*****
�I�m going to do this. I�m going to DO this!�
Akane gritted her teeth and got out of bed. She�d done it once. How hard could a second time be?
One step. Two steps. Then a voice from behind her.
�Want me to help you?�
�No thanks, Ranma. I want to do it myself. I HAVE to.� Akane continued shuffling toward the bathroom, very much aware that Ranma was watching her. She was going to prove to him and to the entire world that she wasn�t �damaged�. Akane was suddenly aware of Ranma�s close presence behind her, which annoyed her a little bit. Then she realized he was probably worried about how weak she was, and wanted to be near enough to catch her if she stumbled. He was still right behind her when she opened the bathroom door.
�Don�t even THINK about following me in here!� she growled. Ranma chuckled, and she turned around, expecting a smart remark. Instead, all Ranma did was grin and wave her into the bathroom. When she came out he was waiting there, leaning on the wall.
Akane was pale and shaking by the time she got back into bed, but smiling triumphantly. She pushed the button on the pump for pain medication as Ranma pulled the blankets over her.
�I told you I could do it, and next time I�ll be faster. You just watch!�
Ranma leaned over and kissed his fiancee. "I will.�
Akane made a face.
�Ick. Morning breath.�
�Sorry!� Thirty seconds later the sound of Ranma brushing his teeth came from the bathroom. Unfortunately, by the time he returned Akane had gone back to sleep. He looked at his pump. The light was on, and he pushed the button. Ranma hated to admit that he hurt, but it was stupid to refuse to take the medicine that would bring him relief.
Besides that, it wasn't any fun being awake if Akane was asleep.
*****
Two things woke Akane. A voice, and the aroma of something delicious. Akane recognized both before her eyes shot open. [Kasumi�s here, and she brought miso soup!] The first thing she saw was Ranma with a steaming bowl of soup in front of him. Normally he would be devouring it, but Ranma was totally ignoring the soup. He was glaring at Kasumi.
�Don�t talk to me about that woman!�
�But Ranma, your mother--�
�I don�t HAVE a mother! If I�ve gotta make a choice between having Akane and having a mother, Akane wins!�
Akane reached over and touched Ranma�s arm. �What�s going on?�
Kasumi jumped in before Ranma could answer. �Akane, please tell him to listen to me! There�s something he doesn�t know!�
When Ranma�s face twisted into something that combined rage and despair, Akane reached out and grabbed him on both sides of his head, forcing him to look at her.
�Please. Just let Kasumi talk. If you still feel the same way when she�s done, I won�t fight with you.�
Akane watched anxiously as the emotions played across her fiance�s face. There was still anger and misery, but for just a second she was sure there was a flicker of hope. Ranma closed his eyes and relaxed his hands, which had been in tight fists. When Ranma�s eyes opened again Akane could see that he had regained his control. He took Akane�s hands from his face and held them.
�Go ahead, Kasumi. I�ll listen.�
Kasumi looked very relieved.
�Now Ranma, I want you to listen to me, and try not to interrupt. Don�t jump to any conclusions until I finish.�
*****
Kasumi had learned a long time ago that food was a calming influence on Ranma. That was why she�d arrived with breakfast. She poured a bowl of soup for Akane and gestured at Ranma�s bowl, which he still hadn�t touched.
�Eat that before it gets cold.�
Ranma, who was still holding Akane�s hands, didn�t move, and Kasumi allowed herself a small show of temper.
�I won�t start talking until the two of you start eating!�
She had the satisfaction of getting instant obedience.
�I won�t go into detail about the argument I had with your mother, Ranma. Nabiki said she told you the important parts. What really made me angry was that she didn�t seem to think the fact that you two care about each other was important.
�What was really bothering me was something I saw Auntie Nodoka doing. I don�t think she realized she was doing it, but it made me wonder.�
Akane looked totally lost. �What are you talking about?�
�I�m sorry, I was thinking aloud. Every now and then Auntie would look at her husband. It was just a quick look, as if she was afraid. He never spoke, not once during our argument, but every time Auntie would look at him, his face would get very stern. I got this feeling that he was warning her.�
Kasumi stopped talking, and got very red. How was she going to tell them what she did next? She still didn�t believe she�d had the nerve to go through with it.
�After a while Auntie refused to talk about it any more, and said she was going home. Daddy had already gone to bed, and so had Nabiki. I think the both of them were too upset and angry to talk to the Saotomes any more. I waited two minutes after they left...and then I put on my coat and followed them.�
Ranma and Akane nearly choked on their soup. Kasumi hurried on before either of them could interrupt her.
�I know what you�re thinking. �Kasumi would NEVER do something like that!� Well I would, and I did! I followed them all the way home. Auntie tried to talk once, but Uncle Saotome wouldn�t let her. When they got to the house I sneaked around to the window and listened to them. They were having an argument.�
�What about?�
�Hush, Ranma, and I�ll tell you.�
Kasumi paused long enough to pour tea for the three of them, and continued.
�Auntie was very angry. She wanted to know why she had to be the one to talk Father into breaking the engagement, when it was Uncle Saotome�s idea. She said we would all hate her, when it wasn�t her fault.�
Ranma was visibly shaken. �It was Pop�s idea? And I�ve been blaming Mom?�
�Yes. I was as surprised as you are. But that was nothing compared to how I felt when Uncle Saotome kept talking. Akane, this is going to upset you. Please try to stay calm.�
One deep breath later, Kasumi continued. �He said that he never liked Akane, but that he allowed the engagement for two reasons: One, that Akane was the only martial artist out of the three of us. Two, he could tell that Ranma had feelings for her. I wanted to go through the window and kill him.�
Only shock prevented Ranma and Akane from responding.
�He said the promise to join the houses had to be kept, and Nabiki would be the best choice. He thought she would be the perfect one to keep the dojo solvent while Ranma taught. Auntie objected, because she knows that Ranma and Nabiki don�t love each other, but he told her that didn�t matter. He said all Nabiki had to do was provide him with a grandson, and once she�d done that it didn�t matter how they got along. I was still trying to get over that remark when he said that if Ranma wasn�t happy with her, he could take a mistress. Then he started listing who would do--Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi. That was when I turned around and went home. I felt sick.�
By this time Akane was so distraught that she was shaking. Ranma put an arm around her for comfort, while trying to keep his own rage down below the boiling point.
�Uncle never did answer Auntie�s question about why he wanted everyone to think it was her idea to break the engagement, but I think I figured it out myself. He doesn�t want Father to be angry at him.�
Ranma nodded. �You might be right. But why didn�t Nabiki tell us about this yesterday?�
�I didn�t get to tell her until last night.�
�What did she say?�
Kasumi looked a little worried. �She was quiet for a very long time, and then she smiled, a scary kind of smile. She told me that she had an idea, but that she wanted to think it through for a while. All I can tell you is that if I were Uncle Saotome, I�d be scared to death right now.�
*****
�Pop shouldn�t be scared of Nabiki. He should be scared of me.� Ranma�s hands closed around his teacup with such force that it was in danger of shattering from the pressure.
�Not if I can get to him first,� growled Akane.
Ranma�s first thought as he looked at his fiancee was relief that her anger wasn�t directed at him this time. He had never, ever seen her this furious before. For a split second he felt some sympathy for his father, but that was quickly dismissed. Whatever was going to happen to the old man would be no more than he deserved.
�No.�
Though the one word was spoken quite softly, it was enough to capture Ranma�s attention. He put the teacup down and looked at Kasumi.
�No?�
�I don�t want either of you to do anything until we talk to Nabiki.�
�But--�
�Listen to me!�
Ranma gulped. He wasn�t used to this kind of behavior from Kasumi. A glance at Akane showed that she was equally shocked.
�The two of you have too much at risk to start trouble now! Ranma, if you or Akane let it slip that you know what�s going on, they�re going to separate you, I�m sure of it! Take care of the most important thing first--get married. I�m sure Nabiki�s making some kind of plans for how to handle the family, and if the four of us work together we�ll be okay.�
Working with Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane was a new concept to Ranma. All he wanted to do was pound his father into dust, but Kasumi�s argument that it would do more harm than good was beginning to sink in.
There were a lot of things he needed to think about, and he needed to do it privately. Ranma picked up his bowl, drank the rest of his soup, and got out of bed.
�I�m going for a walk. You two can have some girl talk.�
*****
�What�s wrong with him?� asked Akane.
�Don�t you think he has the right to be upset right now?�
Akane shook her head. �Yes, but that�s not what I meant. I think he�s got something on his mind.�
�Really? I didn�t notice.�
�I did.�
�That�s probably because you know Ranma better than any of us.�
Kasumi paused, and smiled. �I don�t think Ranma left us alone to talk about him. You look so much better today! How do you feel?�
�I still hurt a lot, but don�t you DARE tell Ranma!�
�Is he fussing over you?�
�Yes. It�s not that I don�t like it, but...�
�But?� Kasumi encouraged Akane with a smile.
�I�m not used to it. He�s being so nice to me.�
Akane paused, and then the words came tumbling out.
�I�m scared, Kasumi. Everything�s happening so fast. First the wedding, and the f-fire. Ranma asked the priest to marry us in the ambulance, but why did he?�
Kasumi neatly turned the question around. �Why did you say yes?�
�I was so scared,� Akane whispered. �I was sure that I was going to die. I wanted to be Ranma�s wife before it was too late.�
�And how do you feel about it now? Do you still want to marry him?�
�More than anything. I love him. But I�m tired, Kasumi.�
Kasumi got up and sat on the edge of her sister�s bed. She gently put her arm around Akane�s shoulders. �That doesn�t hurt, does it?�
�Not enough to matter.�
�If you�re that tired, do you want me to go home so you can nap?�
�No. Not that kind of tired.�
Akane began to sniffle. �I�m tired of this mess! I want my life to be normal! And...and...I�m not sure...� Akane trained off, unsure of how to explain to Kasumi what she was feeling.
�You�re not sure about Ranma, are you?�
�No,� she whispered. �He keeps telling me that he loves me, but--� Akane bit her lip and closed her eyes. This was harder than she�d thought it would be. �I�m afraid that he�s just sorry for me.�
Akane�s sniffles turned into full-blown weeping, and Kasumi gathered her little sister into her arms and let her cry herself out.
�You�re going to have to talk to him, Akane. You can�t marry Ranma with doubts like these. But if you want MY opinion, he wants exactly what you do. I�ve been watching him, and I think he�s as tired of this mess as you are.� Kasumi smiled as Akane sat up again, looking a lot more positive than she had a few minutes before.
�You really think so? Sometimes I think the only way we�ll get any peace is if we ran off together.�
�So why don�t you?�
�KASUMI?�
Kasumi laughed. �I�m not telling you to run away forever. After all, the house is going to belong to you and Ranma, right? And you do intend to teach together, don�t you?�
�We�ve never talked about it.�
�Then I suggest that you do. Nabiki is doing everything she can to get you two married, but you�d better not take that step unless you�re absolutely sure you�re doing the right thing.�
Kasumi got up and began to gather the dishes together and pack them up.
�I�m going to leave you alone now, but I want you to think about something. Try to figure out what your life would be like with Ranma in it, and what it would be like without him. Then I want you two to talk.�
�I will. I promise.�
*****
Ranma walked down the hallway until he reached the sitting room. It was normally used for visitors who needed a place to rest, and he was relieved to find it empty.
Everything was happening at once, and much too fast. He needed to catch his breath, and think. He plugged his IV pump into an outlet next to one of the couches, and sat down.
Images of the past few days flooded his mind, starting with the battle at Jusendo, where he nearly lost Akane, and ending with the fire, where he nearly lost her again. So much fighting, so much insanity. Would it ever end?
Right now he was very worried about Akane. He�d never seen her so fragile. He had always admired her strength, even if it was directed against him in the form of violence when she got angry. Now he barely recognized her as the Akane he loved. She�d shown a couple of sparks of her old self, first with her insistence on walking to the bathroom on her own, and second with her display of anger when she discovered the old man�s true feelings about her. Hopefully, that meant she would get better. Her quietness and bouts of weeping were scaring him, especially since she was trying to hide some of her crying from him by waiting until she thought him asleep.
Ranma closed his eyes and forced himself to keep going. There was something that bothered him more than anything else, and he was having trouble facing it.
Would Akane be better off with him, or without him? He wanted her, more than he�d ever wanted anything in his life.
�Yeah, and look where that�s gotten us,� he murmured. �We�ve had nothing but trouble.�
Nothing but trouble, but did it have to be that way? Maybe he should just take her away somewhere quiet, where they could start all over.
�Sure, the famous Saotome-running-away trick. Damn it, Ranma, you�re a coward!� [And if anyone comes in here and finds me talking to myself, they�ll think I�m crazy.]
No. It was time to ask Akane what she really thought. If she wanted to be with him, then they had to be strong. Together. Ranma knew that there would always be a new challenge--to him, to Akane, or to the dojo. That meant Akane had to be willing to live with the unexpected. Was she willing? Again, he had to ask, or he would never know.
Ranma opened the door and bumped directly into Kasumi.
�Sorry! Did I hurt you?�
Kasumi shook her head. �No, I�m okay. Are you?�
Ranma nodded. �You�re leaving already?�
�I�ll come back tonight, with Father.� Kasumi hesitated, then put her hand on Ranma�s arm.
�I think you and Akane need to talk.�
�I know, but I�m no good at that! I always say the wrong thing, and then we fight.�
Kasumi dragged Ranma back into the sitting room. �Do you love my sister?�
Ranma turned bright red, and nodded.
�Then you�d better learn to talk to her, or you won�t have ANY chance of a future together!�
Before Ranma could recover enough to respond, Kasumi turned around and walked out.
Ranma returned to the couch and thought some more. Even if she hadn�t said so, Kasumi thought he and Akane should be together. The way he was healing, Ranma knew that he would be out of the hospital long before Akane was.
That was when the pressure would start. His father would probably tell him about his engagement to Nabiki the second he got home.
If things worked as planned, he and Akane would be married by then. Somehow, they had to keep that a secret until she got out of the hospital.
What then? If they walked into the house and announced that they were married, all hell would break loose. His father would probably try to get it annulled.
[I can�t figure it out. Kasumi�s right--we need Nabiki to help us out here. But I still have to talk to Akane.]
*****
Akane opened her jar of salve and began applying it. It was nearly empty, but Shampoo was due later in the day with more.
Kasumi had given her a lot to think about. She had to face the fact that loving Ranma Saotome was not something a coward could do. Trouble was something that had always followed Ranma, and it was unlikely that it would ever be different.
Could she live with it? Kasumi had advised her to think about both alternatives. Maybe she should start with the other. Could she live without it...without Ranma?
Her imagination began to take over. A life in an undamaged house, where no enemies were breaking holes in the walls. Being able to walk down the street without someone screaming �Die, Ranma!� or attacking her because of her engagement to him.
Coming home to a house without the most important person in her life there. Opening the door to the guest room to find it empty.
She forced her mind away from the image and began to think again. What about school? School. An image of the crowd of boys at the gates, the way it used to be, made Akane cringe.
Then she looked at herself. She was in the middle of rubbing salve into her arms. The blisters had gone down, leaving her with red wrinkled areas where they had been. The skin was thin and sensitive, and she had to exercise extreme care when she applied the medicine. What would she look like when the burns finally healed? Perhaps she would be so ugly that none of the boys would even bother chasing her.
Ranma had said she looked better. He�d said that she was HIS Akane, and he didn�t care about the burns. He�d said he loved her. Was that the truth, or was he saying it to make her feel better?
Akane wiped the back of her hand across her stinging eyes. Ranma had to be telling the truth. He was the worst liar she knew.
As far as Akane could see, being without Ranma meant being pretty miserable. What about being with him?
Unless Ranma could do something to change it, he was going to have trouble with girls. He just seemed to attract them, even though he didn�t try to. Akane could finally admit that to herself. Ranma didn�t chase girls. They chased him.
Shampoo and Ukyo had finally gotten the message. As far as Kodachi was concerned, Akane still expected trouble from her. That slap might discourage her for a day or two, but she�d be back.
Would it be different once they were married? Akane knew that a wedding ring on a man�s finger made him even more desirable to some girls. She involuntarily made a fist. If anyone came near her husband...
Husband. Was that what she really wanted? Ranma for a husband? What would it be like?
Akane pictured herself living in her home, with Ranma. Once they finished school Ranma might want to begin teaching with her. Then again, he�d spent so much time as a wandering martial artist he might wish to do that again. If so, would he want her to go with him? Would she want to go?
What about all the enemies Ranma had made through the years? Akane had become accustomed to the strangest people showing up on the doorstep, looking for a fight, and if they weren�t showing up at the dojo, they were attacking Ukyo or Shampoo, and Ranma felt obligated to step in. She expected he�d always be that way--ready to help where he was needed.
Akane forced herself to look at that honestly. She would be disappointed in Ranma if he didn�t help, and in herself if she didn�t do what she could to help too.
The more she looked at both options, the more she realized that she would take Ranma, craziness and all, over being alone.
Now if she could find the courage to tell him, and to ask him what he truly felt.
There was a sound at the door and Akane looked up, expecting to see Ranma. Instead, a pleasant-looking woman stood there.
�Hello, Akane. I�m Yui. Can I come in?�
*****
Ranma saw a woman entering his and Akane�s room as he was coming down the hallway. When he got to the doorway, the woman was taking a chair next to his fiancee.
�Hello. You must be Ranma. My name is Yui.�
�Are you the burn counselor the doctor told me about?�
Yui nodded. Ranma wheeled his IV stand over to the bedside, plugged it in, and got into bed. Akane just sat there looking confused.
�You knew about her, Ranma? The doctor didn�t mention this to me.�
�This was after they sedated you last night, Akane.�
�Oh.� For a second, Akane felt the stirrings of anger because Ranma hadn�t told her about the fact that a counselor was coming to see them. Then she forced herself to be sensible about it. Maybe she needed to talk to a professional.
�I don�t know where to start.�
�That�s all right. Your doctor told me that you were concerned about how you look. Is that right?�
Akane nodded mutely. Ranma thought she was going to cry.
�I know this isn�t much to go by, but I want to show you something.� Yui rolled up her left sleeve, and pointed to a mark on her forearm. It was a pale brown mark a couple of inches long.
�I went into counseling a few years ago, and have talked to a lot of burn victims. My training taught me a lot, but I didn�t know all of the truth about the pain you go through until I burned myself.�
Akane took a closer look at the mark, and Ranma leaned over to see it. �That doesn�t look so bad,� he remarked. �How long ago did you burn yourself?�
�About nine months. I was draining a pot of noodles, and the phone rang. I turned my head to look at it, and my forearm touched the side of the pot.�
Akane winced. �Ouch.�
�Yes. I ran cold water on it for a long time, but it blistered anyway. What I couldn�t believe was how such a small burn could hurt so much! Eventually the blister shrank, but I was left with ripples on the skin---much like the ones the two of you have. I had to be very careful of it, because the skin was so delicate. Besides that, it itched and I had to try very hard not to scratch it.�
Both Ranma and Akane nodded. They knew exactly what Yui meant.
�Eventually I began to heal. I watched the burn very carefully, because I wanted to see how long it would take to fade. You can barely see it now, but it�s fading so slowly I expect it will be around for a couple of months more.�
Akane looked at herself, and then at Yui. �So I�m going to look really bad for at least a year...� Her words trailed off and she turned away.
[Oh no,] thought Ranma. [Here we go again.] He leaned over to Akane, and gently touched her arm.
�Akane, turn around. Please.�
He held his breath, hoping she would listen. A few seconds later Akane turned around.
�I told you I didn�t care about the burns. They�re going to get better.�
�People are going to stare at me.�
�Let em! That�s THEIR problem!�
Yui tried to suppress her giggle, but wasn�t quite successful.
�Akane, with Ranma here you don�t need me! That�s exactly what I was going to say. I talked with your doctor, and he said the both of you are doing just fine. You need to be positive, and you need to be patient. Will you?�
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief when Akane responded. �I�ll try.�
�Tomorrow I�d like to introduce you to a couple of my other patients. I think it would do you good.�
�Are you going to bring them here?�
�No, Akane. You�re going to visit them.�
Ranma saw Akane go white.
�I don�t want to.�
�You don�t want to see them?�
�No. I don�t want to go out of the room.�
Yui gently patted Akane�s hand. �You can�t hide in here forever. Don�t be afraid, Akane.�
�Ranma? You�ll come with me?�
�Of course I will! Did you think I�d let you out of my sight?�
�Then I�ll come.�
Ranma didn�t miss the look of gratitude from Yui as she got up.
�I�ll make the arrangements, then. See the both of you tomorrow.�
Her footsteps had barely died away when both Ranma and Akane spoke at the same time.
�We need to talk.�