Wanderers
Wanderers
A Ranma 1/2 - Tenchi Muyo! crossover by June "KaraOhki" Geraci.
May 25, 2003
Tenchi doesn't belong to me, but to Hiroki Hayashi, Masaki Kajishima, AIC and Pioneer, and Ranma belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This fic was written to make you smile, not for commercial purposes.
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Ryoga was lost. Again. He looked at his surroundings and growled. How hard could it be to walk from the farmhouse to the barn? Akari did it at least five or six times a day, and SHE never got lost.
Right.
Akari might be a Hibiki now, but it didn't give her the family problem. At least one of them could always be counted on to be in the right place at the right time.
Ryoga moved the shovel he was carrying from his left shoulder to his right, and trudged on.
*****
About a mile down the path, another creature was lost. In her case, she was lost on purpose, because she needed some time off. Her home life was lively to say the least, and it was difficult for a little cabbit to deal with.
RyoOhki was enjoying her day off in the woods. She'd found some lovely nuts to eat, (that is, once she convinced the squirrel who wanted them that they were HERS), chased some pretty birds, and took a nap in a sweet-smelling meadow. Now she was listening to sounds. It was pretty evident to her that they were coming from an angry human, because the human was using the kind of words that Ryoko used when she was angry.
The human was coming her way, so RyoOhki decided to sit and wait. Perhaps it was carrying something good to eat.
Five minutes later, Ryoga came into view. RyoOhki noted that he looked rather tired, and more than a little upset. She hopped up to him. He didn't notice her presence until he nearly tripped over her.
"Miya!" The cabbit hopped out of the way before she could get trampled.
"Watch it!" The man continued on, and the cabbit, curious, hopped along behind him. It took a minute for him to notice and turn around. "What do you want?"
"Miya! Miya!" RyoOhki gave Ryoga her very best "cute" look, but it didn't seem to have any effect on him. He merely shrugged and walked on.
*****
Ryoga's mood only got worse as he wandered. He was hungry and thirsty, and had no idea where he was. Then he spotted the berry bushes. He set down the shovel and began eating the berries. A rustling sound made him look to the side, where he noticed the little creature that he'd seen earlier helping herself to mouthfuls of the berries. That didn't bother him. There were plenty for the both of them.
The sound of a stream got Ryoga's attention, and he followed the sound until he found it. Ryoga drank for a long time, and then carefully dipped a cloth into the water and cleaned his hands and face, being careful not to get too wet.
The critter, whatever it was, had other ideas. She threw herself joyfully into the water, drank, and then splashed around happily.
"Hey! Be careful!"
*****
RyoOhki couldn't understand why her new friend didn't like her. He didn't want her following him, and had even yelled at her when she splashed in the stream. She decided to follow him at a safe distance, and try again later.
It didn't take her long to realize that he was wandering in circles. He had gotten extremely angry at himself when he'd tried to backtrack to the path he was on earlier, especially since he'd left his shovel there. After trying in vain to find his way, he'd thrown his hands in the air and marched off through the woods, in nearly the opposite direction from the one he'd been traveling in.
RyoOhki thought it might be a good idea to help, so she ran up to him, and jumped on him. "Miya!"
"AAAH!" Ryoga batted the cabbit away, and she hit the ground hard and rolled a couple of times. Then she sat up and stared at him.
"Don't DO that!" he yelled.
"Miya!" RyoOhki ran around Ryoga and miyaed until he turned around. She ran off a few steps, and looked over her shoulder. He shrugged, and walked the other way.
Evidently this human wasn't too smart. Didn't he realize she wanted him to follow? She ran around him again.
"Would you STOP bothering me? It's bad enough that I'm lost, you know!"
*****
Ryoga's feet hurt. He was sure that he'd passed that berry bush at least a dozen times, and now it had nearly no berries left, and he was really hungry.
What was even worse was the continual reappearance of that thing. He didn't know if it was a rabbit or a cat, but it was a real pest. Ryoga wasn't in the mood for pests.
He came across a stream. Whether it was the same one he'd drunk from before or a different one didn't really matter. He was thirsty, and it was water.
Ryoga was on his knees bringing his cupped hands to his lips when he saw the brown blur coming in from the side. It hit the water before he could duck.
*****
RyoOhki concluded that this particular human had to be one of the silliest she had ever met. He grumbled constantly, and seemed intent on exploring the same patch of woods over and over and over again.
She was getting tired of following him, and decided that it was time to go home. The man stopped to drink, and RyoOhki followed. She would get a nice, long drink, another cool dip, and she would leave him. She took a flying leap into a deep portion of the stream.
"KWEEEE!"
RyoOhki blinked, water streaming from her eyes. The man was gone, and there was nothing left by the bank of the stream but a pile of clothing, which was moving. There were also funny noises coming from the pile.
Before the cabbit's astonished eyes, a small black pig crawled out from the pile of clothing. It shook itself off, and growled at her.
"Miya?"
"Bu-ki!"
"Mew?"
"KWEE!!"
RyoOhki backed off a couple of steps. The pig was even meaner than the man. What really bothered her, though, was that the pig smelled like the man. No matter, it was time to go home. She miyaed at the pig again, and hopped away a few steps. Then she looked over her shoulder. It had picked up the clothing in its mouth, and was following her.
The cabbit walked until she found the meadow she'd landed in earlier that day. She ran forward, leaped into the air, and transformed. When she looked down the pig was staring at her, its eyes huge. She let down a ramp and the pig backed away a few feet.
"Miya!"
*****
Ryoga had seen a lot of really weird things in his travels, but a living creature that turned into some kind of a ship had to be among the top ten, if not the top five.
His first thought was to get the hell away from it, but when it called to him something clicked. It had been making that odd noise at him all day long. Perhaps it was trying to help him?
"Kwee," he muttered. If he had been human at the time, the words would have been "what the hell," and then he boarded the ship.
The pig wandered around the interior of the ship, which had taken off shortly after he boarded. He found a bathroom, and struggled to turn on the hot water. The ship gave a surprised yelp when he transformed back to his human self.
Ryoga quickly dressed and returned to what he assumed was the control section of the ship. "Hey," he called out, "can you hear me?"
"Miya!"
"I need to get home. Can you help me?" The miya he got sounded a little bit tentative.
"I can't direct you. I don't know the way."
"Miyaaaaaaaaa." This time the answer was positively mournful.
Ryoga sat down and thought. Then he got an idea. "Do you know the way to Tokyo?"
"Miya!" A positive response.
"Nerima district?"
"MIYA!"
Now this was progress. "Okay, let's go there. If we can find the Tendo Dojo, they can get me home."
The ship, which had been traveling slowly, suddenly increased velocity so suddenly that Ryoga slammed into a wall.
*****
Akane sat on the back steps, engrossed in a book. She heard what sounded like a plane, and ignored it. After all, planes flew over the house all the time. Then she realized that it sounded awfully close, and looked up. The book landed in the grass when Akane realized that some sort of vehicle was hovering over the koi pond. A door opened in its side, and a ramp extended down to the grass.
"RANMA!"
Ranma flew out of the house. "Are you okay?" he shouted.
Akane pointed. "Look!"
Ranma stared. "What the hell? What IS that?"
"I was hoping you'd tell me!"
"Why ME?"
"Because the weird stuff that happens around here is usually connected to you, Ranma, that's why!"
As Ranma opened his mouth to object, Ryoga came down the ramp.
"Told you!" said Akane triumphantly. Ranma just shrugged, and waited for Ryoga to join them on the porch.
"Nice wheels," drawled Ranma. "Where'd you pick them up?"
"I don't think you'd believe me if I told you," said Ryoga. He was still speaking when RyoOhki transformed back and ran up to Ryoga. She jumped into his arms and rubbed her cheek against his.
"Oh, a rabbit! How cute!" exclaimed Akane. She patted the cabbit, and it purred at her. Then it leaped into her arms and snuggled up to her.
"Miya!"
"AAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Half a second later Ranma was gone, a Ranma-shaped hole in the wall the only evidence of his departure.
Akane shrugged. "Come have some tea," she said to Ryoga.
"Can I use the phone?" asked Ryoga. "I have to tell Akari I'm lost again."
"We know. She called here looking for you."
The air in front of them shimmered, and a door opened where none had been a moment before. A red-headed woman and a young girl with long blue pigtails emerged. The cabbit squirmed out of Akane's arms and dashed up to the girl, who knelt down to pick her up.
"RyoOhki! We've been looking everywhere!"
The redhead pointed a device that looked suspiciously like a tv remote at the door, which vanished. "Don't exaggerate, Sasami," she said. "With this little invention of mine," she continued, as she waved the device around, "we were able to find RyoOhki in a little under ten minutes."
"RyoOhki? Is that your name?" Ryoga walked forward and scratched the cabbit's head. "Your pet followed me all day long today. I think she was trying to help me."
Sasami giggled. "Probably. She's a good little cabbit. Why did you need help?"
"I was lost. I wanted to get home to my wife?"
"Oh. Is this your wife?"
Akane blushed. "No." Then she ran into the house, calling over her shoulder, "wait a sec. I'll be right back." Moments later, Akane was back with a piece of paper in her hand. "This is where Ryoga lives. Can you take him there?"
"Of course!" Washu looked at the paper, punched a few buttons on the remote, or whatever it was, and the door reappeared. "Step right in here, young man, and you'll be home."
Ryoga hesitated. "Are you sure?"
"Sure? SURE? Do you know who you're talking to? I am Washu, the greatest scientist in the universe! Of course I'm sure!"
At the same time, a little doll appeared on each of Washu's shoulders. "Washu knows everything!" proclaimed one. "Washu is number one!" cheered the other, brandishing a pair of tiny cheerleader's pompoms.
Ryoga shrugged. It appeared he would have to revise his top ten weird list when he got home. "Say goodbye to Ranma for me," he said to Akane. Then he opened the door, stepped through, and vanished. A moment later the door also vanished.
"We must be getting home," said Sasami. "Thank you for taking care of RyoOhki for me."
"But I didn't, I mean, she just got here--" Akane was still floundering around when Washu opened another interdimensional door and departed with RyoOhki and Sasami.
Ranma peeked around the hole in the wall. "Are they gone?"
*****
Akari sat on the steps of the house, scratching Katsunishiki's head. Ryoga had been gone for hours, and dinner was cold. The air in front of her shimmered, and Ryoga fell though the shimmer. He landed on his knees in front of her.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he cried.
"I'm glad to see you," she said softly.
Ryoga smiled. All was right with the world.
"But where's your shovel?"
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My thanks to Kevin C., who phoned me with the idea for this story. I owe you one!
Thanks also to Kevin M., for several suggestions that improved the story, especially the ending.